


Slices of Life

by awesomesauce2366, charis_chan



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Ageplay, Building of a home, F/F, F/M, Familial Love, Foster Sisters, Found Family, Gen, Headspace, M/M, Mama!Kara, Mama!Lena, Multi, Nonsexual Ageplay, Other, Regression, Sister-Sister Relationship, Slow Burn, Spanking, filial love, mentions of abuse, when it comes to the regression stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:26:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 64
Words: 177,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23894536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomesauce2366/pseuds/awesomesauce2366, https://archiveofourown.org/users/charis_chan/pseuds/charis_chan
Summary: Kara and Alex grew up together in the foster care system. With seven years between them, Kara always found herself looking after Alex and making sure she behaved.Now, being semi famous YouTubers and finally living together, a long string of bad choices leave Kara taking care of Alex in a way neither expected but both craved.[Fair warning: this story will contain ageplay/age regression and Alex in headspace. It's not meant to be a Kalex love story, the main focus is their love as sisters, and, later on, as mother and daughter.Will also contain disciplining of minors and some cussing.]***BETA WANTED***
Relationships: Alex Danvers & Kara Danvers, Alex Danvers & Lena Luthor, Alex Danvers & Lucy Lane, Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 1328
Kudos: 719





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It took me a while to gather the courage to post this. I love writing what comes to mind, but sometimes people is just mean.
> 
> However, I think that's time to put fears to rest and just do it.
> 
> Remember, if ageplay ain't you cup of tea, don't read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, made a few tweaks around here, for plot's sake.

“Wakey, wakey, little love,” a sing song voice cuts through the fog in her mind.

She whines loud and turns to face away from the sound.

“Oh, no, little one.” Gentle hands start rubbing up and down her back. “It’s time to get up. We are recording the sunset routine today.”

_“Anne,_ no…”

The woman behind her chuckles. “Baby, yes.”

The girl curls up even more into herself. _“Anne,_ sleep.”

A hand starts patting her covered bottom rhythmically. “Oh, my baby needs a change. Lexie, don’t you feel icky.”

Alex shakes her head. “Sleep.”

A sigh is heard at that and Alex finds herself being lifted in her mom’s arms. “Kaaraa,” she whines annoyed.

Kara chuckles again. “Oh, my little one is big today.”

Alex grumbles and hides her face in Kara’s neck. “You are mean, K.”

“I’m your _annen._ It’s in one of my clauses. Do you need help changing, Lex?”

Alex nods her head. “You do it.”

“So lazy.”

“You _annem,”_ Alex mumbles in warm skin, throwing Kara’s words back at her.

Kara just smiles at that. “So, true, baby. I’m _annen.”_

XxXxX

It all started with bad choices, bad friends, a judge, and, amazingly enough, rumpled pajamas.

XxXxX

This is the fifth time in two months and Kara is sure there won’t be another.

The judged said so last time.

If Alex was caught shoplifting again it was a sure ticket to juvie.

And of course, stupid Alex was caught trying to liberate some MAC from the store a week after the judge said that.

Kara gets it to some extent. She really does. Old habits die hard and she’s known Alex since the girl was little, they’d grow up together in foster care and she’s not going to deny that Alex’s nimble fingers had gotten them out of some really difficult situations, but that is no excuse for the younger girl to keep stealing when they finally have the money to buy whatever they need.

Sure, it had taken them some time to grow their YouTube channels and the struggle was real when they were starting, but now they have over five million followers combined, and they are relatively famous in the dark corners of the internet. They have the money to live comfortably and, while Kara admits she likes to spend wisely and usually limit their purchases, Alex has no reason to keep stealing.

Especially when she does it just for fun.

And especially when it can lend Alex into juvie.

It’s no surprise, then, when the call woke Kara from her sleep that she didn’t even paused to get out her pajamas before rushing to the police station. She literally just threw a jacket and some shoes on and sped to where her annoying sister is.

“Alexandra, what the fuck?!”

Alex has the decency to wince at that. “Hi, K.”

“Don’t you dare, ‘Hi, K,’ me, Alexandra Lee.”

Some snickers are heard over that and Kara doesn’t need to look around the holding room to know who is there besides her idiotic friend.

Max, Siobhan, Lucy and Alex are the usual gang that always manages to get in trouble. School friends of Alex, those three had surely aged Kara well past her twenty-three years of life.

Alex scowls at her friends and then at Kara. “Stop it,” she mutters.

And Kara sees red. “Don’t you dare ask me to stop, Alexandra. I don’t care if I’m embarrassing you right now. I’m too pissed. How could you?!”

Alex wiggles a little in her seat. “It was a dare.”

Siobhan and Max have the audacity to high five at that.

Kara rubs her temples before she grabs Alex’s hand and drags her out the room. It is a statement of how often she finds herself in the police station that the officers just let her walk around with Alex without a comment or second glance. They all know by now that Kara would wander with the little thief but bring her back in time to have her punishment.

Really, all the police offices in their corner of the city know Alex and Kara and, dare Kara say it, find Alex’s bad habits a little cute. It is not like Alex ever stole money or from some passerby, no, she always shoplifts and it’s always small stuff.

And maybe that is the real problem. Up until this new judge arrived, the only punishment Alex ever got was community service hours and Alex always, always, managed to work them off at the dog shelter where she is the happiest.

Once judge Grant arrived, though, everything became different.

Reason why Alex is now facing the very real possibility of being sent to juvie for the years she still has before turning eighteen.

A possibility Kara cannot let happen. Not that she will not let her sister sweat a little.

“Alexandra,” Kara hisses once they found a private corner. “Why?”

Alex’s face heats and she looks to the ground. “’M sorry, K.”

Kara rubs her face with her hands. It’s well past midnight and the station is mostly empty, so she doesn’t hesitate to turn Alex around to deliver a hard spank to her behind. “Sorry won’t help you this time, Alex,” she scolds harshly.

Alex jumps at the spank but doesn’t complain. Much. “Kaaaaraaa,” she whines. “Not here!”

Kara just spanks her again. “I don’t care, Alex. I’m really disappointed in you and I really, really want to put you over my knee right here, right now.”

With eight years between them and foster parents that never really cared, Kara had always found herself monitoring Alex and punishing her. Kara spanking Alex is nothing new and she is starting to think that she has gotten too lenient with the girl as the years passed.

They living apart for four years hadn’t help either.

From the moment Kara exited foster care at eighteen up until the beginning of this year, when Alex moved in with Kara, they have visited together often and constantly, but the change in Alex was notorious. The company she started seeking after Kara left their foster home was less to be desired. Kara had thought, wrongly maybe, that she had lost the right to monitor the younger girl after literally abandoning her to their foster parents.

Her leaving that house had been non-negotiable but she knows that Alex still resents her for that.

Alex’s face flushes again at the promise of a proper spanking. “No! Please!”

“What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t!”

“Yes, I can see that.” She delivers a third slap on the girl’s behind before turning her around again. “You are going to juvie now.”

Alex’s eyes widen. “No!”

“Alex, you knew this was happening if you stole again.”

“But, but-”

“No buts, missy. You know there are consequences for your acts.”

Alex’s lower lip starts wobbling and Kara has a second of warning before she is launching herself into her arms. “P-Please… no…”

Kara sighs and holds the girl closer to her. “Damn it, Alex… You are in deep shit.”

Alex cries in her shoulder. “P-Please, KayKay. No jail.”

Kara’s heart clenches at the childhood nickname. That was how Alex used to call her when she was a kid. Way back when they first met in that awful foster home.

Kara sighs. “Oh, baby.” She hugs her tightly and rocks them from side to side. “I’ll do my best.”

Alex nods frantically but keeps sobbing.

How is Kara fixing this mess?

XxXxX

Turns out, hiring a lawyer is an exceptionally good first step.

Convincing said lawyer to defend a recurrent shoplifter is hard, but in the end, he manages to cut a deal for Alex.

This is now the last chance the girl has. It she’s caught stealing again she’s going to be detained for good, and this time she won’t be sent to juvie for two years. No.

If Alex is caught stealing again, she is going to be sentenced as a fully capable adult and sent to jail for up to ten years.

Kara will let hell freeze over before she lets Alex steal again.

And if her hand falls off in the process, that’s a sacrifice she’s willing to pay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anne - mom  
> Annem - possesive of mother, it can either be my mom or your mom. Both cases are used here.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I didn't expect that many hits and kudos... thank you guys.
> 
> Here's what comes next :)

“Things are going to change from now on.”

Alex sniffs and rubs at her eyes. She knows better than to rub at her stinging butt. “I won’t d-do it again. Me swear.”

Kara shakes her head. “Do not swear.”

“’M s-sorry.”

Kara takes Alex’s hands in hers to stop the rubbing. She is still sitting on the chair she used to spank Alex and has the younger girl standing between her legs bare from the waist down, so their height difference isn’t as notorious as always. Kara cannot remember the last time she spanked Alex in the bare, hell, she couldn’t really remember the last time she spanked her, period. Damn if the girl had needed it for a long time now.

Kara squeezes Alex’s hands, prompting her to look into her eyes. “Alexandra,” she starts sternly. “You are forgiven for this one. You’ve paid your price. But it won’t ever happen again.”

Kara was done letting Alex do as she pleased. To act without thinking.

Alex nods at that. “It won’t happen again.”

“No, it won’t. I’ll make sure of that. You are not seeing those three again,” Kara states firmly.

Alex’s eyes widen. “Kara, no!”

“Kara, yes, Alexandra. If we must move so you stop hanging out with them, you bet your sore ass we’ll move.”

Alex’s mouth hangs open at that. “Wh- What?!” she splutters. “Kara!”

“Alex!” Kara exclaims back. “I’m serious, girl. You are cleaning up your act, starting now. And don’t get me started with your partying, because that’s ending too.”

Alex snatches her hands back from Kara’s. “You can’t stop me from being friends with them!” she cries as her foot stomps on the floor. The move could’ve been more effective if she was wearing pants. “You can’t stop me from going to parties!”

Kara knew this was going to be difficult, but she managed to build a life, a content life, once out foster care and she’ll be damned if she can’t rectify Alex’s actions, no matter how difficult it might look.

“Yes, I can, because I have a paper that says I’m responsible for you. So, you’ll obey, missy.”

Alex’s lips curl in distaste. “I’m not a kid!”

“Then stop acting like one!” Kara finally snaps. “Stop thinking your actions have no consequences and start taking responsibilities over them.”

Alex’s scowl turns into a pout so fast it threatens to give Kara whiplash. “I’m an adult!” she whines as new tears start running down her face. “I work! I earn money!”

Kara shakes her head and pulls the girl to sit on her lap, mindful of the soreness of her butt.

Sometimes holding Alex is the only way for her to calm down. And right now, Kara can feel a massive melt down heading her way.

“Listen to me, Alex,” she murmurs into the girl’s soft copper hair. “I’m really proud you are a productive human being. Not many can say they earn their money as honestly as you do. But, baby, living off a YouTube channel doesn’t mean you are an adult.”

Alex hides in Kara’s neck, crying softly. “Y-You do it too… You no adult then.”

Kara smiles at her girl’s cheek. “The difference, love, is that _I_ am an adult and you are not. _I_ take responsibility of my actions and _I_ think twice before doing something dumb. _I_ make sure you are not in trouble and _I_ am the one paying rent. Alex, _I_ do the laundry.”

Alex squirms. “Then I’ll do the laundry now! I can do it all!”

Kara shakes her head. “Oh? And then you’ll go pay the bills? You’ll drive and buy our groceries? You’ll stop doing risky stuff just for the sake of it?”

Alex nods. “Yes! I can do all that!”

Kara nods. “Okay, then,” she concedes. “From now on, you’ll be an adult and you’ll be accounted for like one. If you steal again, you’ll definitely be treated like one and sentenced like one.”

That makes Alex tense.

“Next time you’re having trouble with your homework, you’ll be able to figure it out on your own. Next time you are hungry, you are cooking for yourself. And don’t think about take out, because being an adult means being able to take care of yourself and eating healthy. You’ll be able to go to the doctor on your own, just like a normal adult, and you’ll be responsible for yourself. Is that clear? I won’t be here holding your hand like I always do, because you’re an adult and we adults can manage on our own.”

Kara knows she’s laying it thick. That she’s exaggerating. But for the life of her, she needs to make Alex listen to her if she’s to make sure she’s not doing stupid stuff again.

“And because you’re an adult, you’ll be able to fend off the trolls on your own. You’ll stop being upset when someone gives you a downvote, because we adults know that not everyone likes our work and we know how to deal with that.”

“Ka-”

“Aha. Adults don’t interrupt other adults,” Kara lies easily. “And because you’re one you’ll let me finish,” she adds.

Alex sniffs but nods dejectedly.

And now, for the big guns to come out to play. “And because you’re an adult now, next time you wet the bed, you’ll change and wash your sheets, take your shower and put yourself to sleep again. No more late night cuddles and no more sleeping in my bed. We are both adults and we don’t do that. You can speak now.”

Now, Kara knows that last bit was mean on so many levels and a lie in so many others, but she knows her Alex. If she doesn’t exaggerate it all, then Alex will think nothing of it and keep doing as she does.

And, because Kara knows Alex is the furthest thing from an adult, she knows she’ll fall for it.

Alex’s tears return. “I-I no adult,” she sobs into Kara’s neck.

Kara has to hide her smirk at that. “Oh? But you were so sure about it not too long ago?”

Alex trembles and she hugs Kara fiercely. “No!” she cries. “I’m not!”

Kara starts rubbing Alex’s back up and down, up and down. “No? So that means you’ll be my good girl and obey my rules?”

“Y-Yes.”

Kara kissed the side of her head, feeling her heart lighten. Maybe Alex will listen this time. “Okay, baby. Okay. I’ll take care of you.”

XxXxX

“KayKay. KayKay”

Kara opens an eye to the gentle shaking on her shoulder. She sighs deeply at the sight in front of her.

Alex is once again bare from the waist down and there are the hints of tears on her cheeks again.

“Lex?” she mumbles still half asleep.

Alex just whimpers and Kara sighs deeply again. She knows what’s wrong with her sister.

They had spent the whole night at the police station and got home around ten in the morning. Then, they had dealt with Alex’s punishment and head to bed just as noon was rounding the corner. It was a really long night for them and it’s no surprise that Alex is looking for her not three hours into their sleep.

Stress always gets to Alex.

“Hey, Lexie,” she whispers softly as she sits up to see her sister in all but blood. “Accident?”

Alex nods.

Kara nods back and climbs out the bed. She takes the younger girl’s hand in hers. “Did you clean yourself?”

Alex nods again.

Kara raises an eyebrow at that. “If I check right now, will I see you’re lying?”

Alex’s flushed face is the only answer Kara needs.

“Come,” Kara tugs the girl towards the bathroom. “Arms up.”

“I don’t want a bath,” Alex complains, but raises her arms and allows Kara to remove her tank top. “Kay…”

Kara busies herself with the handheld shower, making sure the water it’s warm enough. “Into the bathtub please,” she commands easily.

Alex fidgets. “Kay…”

Kara looks back to the younger girl, seeing her biting her lower lip and changing her weight from foot to foot. She smiles softly at the sight, remembering a little Alex, maybe five years old, doing that same cute dance whenever she heard water running.

“Go pee, baby.”

Alex wastes no time in going to the toilet and do just that. Kara can’t help but laugh at the small yelp of pain that passes Alex’s lips the moment her bare butt touches the seat.

Alex’s face turns read at the laugh and hides behind her hands. “Don’t laugh,” she whines.

“But my itty, bitty Lexie is so cute!”

“You’re mean!”

Kara wets her hand and uses her fingers to flick some water to Alex. “Wipe and come here, the water’s ready.”

Alex obeys for once without complain as she finds herself soon standing in the bathtub, being washed from the waist down.

“See?” Kara says softly. “No bath. I’ll just ger rid of all that icky pee.”

Alex hums tiredly.

“Sleepy, baby?”

“Ye.”

Kara smiles at the murmur. “We’re done here, love.” She shuts the water off and is soon handing Alex a towel.

“No.” Alex pushes the towel towards Kara.

“Lex?” Kara asks confused. “Don’t you want to go back to sleep?”

Alex opens her arms for a hug in lieu of an answer, and because Kara has known this ball of grumpiness for over a decade, she gets the hint.

She puts the towel around the younger girl and lifts her easily out the tub. Alex is a tiny thing and all the parkour she does keeps her fit and light, so its no hardship to carry her around like a toddler.

If Kara is honest with herself, she’d carry Alex around all the time just like when they were kids.

“Let’s go put some jammies and head back to bed, okay?”

Alex rests her head on Kara’s shoulder. “Sleep with you.”

Kara nods. “Of course, baby. I’ll help you change and put you to bed and then I’ll deal with your sheets and I’ll join you. Sounds good?”

“Ye.”

They enter Alex’s room and the first thing Kara notices is the heap of sheets bundled in the floor. She runs her hand along Alex’s spine. “Good girl, baby. You stripped the bed.”

Alex burrows closer to Kara and Kara knows she’s too embarrassed at the praise to talk.

“It’s today a pants kind of day or a boxers kind of day?” Kara asks as she puts Alex on her feet.

“You choose.”

“Okay, love. Boxers is it. You’ll get too hot otherwise.”

Alex lets herself been maneuvered around, letting Kara dry her off, apply some lotion to her skin and dress her in baggy boxers and a plain shirt. She draws the line when Kara wants to put sock on her feet, though, she never liked using socks to bed.

“Come on, Lex,” Kara says form her kneeling position by her feet. “Your feet will be ice cold otherwise.”

“No socks.”

“Alex…”

“No.”

Kara sighs. “Fine. No socks.” She stands, tossing the socks back into their drawer. “Let’s get you into bed. Someone’s cranky.”

Alex leans all her weight against Kara once the older one is close enough.

Kara, out of instinct, hugs Alex to her. “Oh, I see,” she murmurs in her soft hair. “Someone’s also too lazy to walk.”

“Someone wants cuddles.”

Kara laughs at her cheek. “And someone will get her cuddles as soon as I put her sheets in the washer.”

Alex whines but doesn’t protest when Kara lifts her to rest on her hip. She hugs Kara by the neck and sighs happily. “Love you.”

Kara walks to her room, ready to put her girl to sleep and smiles again. “Love you too, baby.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support!!!
> 
> My goal is to update daily, but with school ending on my end and ciberclasses kicking my butt, there'll be days I won't be able to write. However, that's why the chapters are so short. Writing about 2.5K is what I can comfortably write daily, so we'll see.
> 
> Also, the more I write, the thicker the plot becomes in my head. So guys, if I were to match Kara with someone, who would you prefer? Was thinking Lena, but it's been a long time since I watched the show so I'm open for suggestions.

Changing the sheets and putting them to wash is a well known dance so Kara is done with it all in less than ten minutes. She decides to leave Alex’s bed without sheets for the time being, the plastic cover having done her job, but she knows some air will help Alex’s poor mattress.

Once she’s back in her own room, she’s surprised to see someone still awake.

“Hey,” she calls as she climbs into bed. “I thought you were asleep already?”

Alex rolls over to Kara and burrows in her chest. “Cold.”

Kara snorts. “Told you to wear socks.”

Alex simply shoves her freezing feet against Kara’s legs.

“Alexandra!”

Alex snickers and burrows closer to Kara’s warmth.

Kara just holds the girl with gusto, closing her eyes and burrowing her nose in Alex’s soft hair. Part of her mourns not bathing Alex, making her hair smell sweet and floral and fresh, but she was tired and ready to sleep, and she can always cuddle the girl later in the day, once she has a proper shower.

“K?”

Too bad Alex seems too alert now.

“Sleep,” Kara mumbles tiredly. “James is coming by tonight. Sleep.”

Alex tensed at that.

“Alex?” The younger girl presses tighter against her chest. “What’s the matter?”

“… why he coming?”

Kara frowns at the barely heard mumble. “We are doing a colab. He’s going to be here at seven, so we need to sleep a little before that.”

Alex huffs and tries to press herself harder into Kara. “Okay,” she mumbles sadly.

Kara combs her fingers in Alex’s hair. “What’s wrong, baby?”

Alex shakes her head, throwing one leg over Kara and hugging her close. “Do a colab with me.”

Kara returns the hug, scratching Alex’s scalp. “We always do colabs, love.”

“Do another one with me. Tomorrow.”

“Okay, love. What do you have in mind?”

Alex keeps silent after than and Kara thinks that maybe she’s finally asleep, when she speaks again. “Found an alley I think I can climb to the top. We can both try.”

Kara hums. “Alex, you are the one with the parkour channel. Can we stick to something that won’t kill me?”

“It’ll be an easy course, I promise!”

“If I do that, I demand to use your pretty face in a tutorial.”

Alex scrunches up her nose. “What kind of tutorial?”

“There’s this new eyeliner I want to try on those gorgeous eyes.”

Alex groans and Kara doesn’t need to see to know that Alex is blushing heavily. “Fine,” she grumbles.

“Pleased to do business with you.” Kara kisses the top of Alex’s mop of head. “Can we sleep now?”

“Ye.”

Kara sighs happily. She’s ready to succumb to sleep, when Alex’s small voice reaches her ears. “What’s that, love?” she questions in a murmur.

“I missed this,” Alex repeats.

“Mmmm?”

“I missed this. You taking care of me.”

Kara smiles, already half asleep. Her hand goes down, rubbing Alex’s still warm butt. “Missed this too?”

Alex wiggles. “K, stop.”

Kara pats her butt gently, too gently to do any harm and hums. “Sleep, baby.”

Alex settles at the gentle patting and sighs deeply. “Okay.”

Kara is asleep and content, when Alex speaks again.

“Kara?”

“Mmm.”

“I love you.”

“… love you too.”

XxXxX

“Hi, little Alf!” James greets Alex as soon as she enters the room Kara uses to record.

Alex just look at him with unimpressive eyes.

“Alex.” The warning in Kara’s voice is tangible and Alex crosses her arms as she goes to sit in one of Kara’s beanbags.

“Hello,” Alex says sullenly.

“Someone missed their nap,” James has the gall to tease Alex, making the younger girl scowl.

“We just woke up,” Kara says easily. “We had a rough night.”

Kara is busying herself prepping the cameras and fixing the lighting, a job that James should be doing if one were to ask Alex.

James’s eyes zero on Kara at her statement. “Oh?” His voice has turned soft and it makes Alex’s stomach sick. “Do you want to reschedule?”

“No. No.” Kara is pure goodness and of course she won’t go back on her word. “You don’t have to worry.”

“You’re tired, K,” Alex chimes. “Maybe you should skip tonight.” She would go and help with the cameras, but Alex knows she cannot touch Kara’s tools.

Her stinging butt is still too sore to try and tempt fate.

Although, the way Kara is now glaring at her might be temptation enough. “And whose fault is that?”

Alex hunches onto herself. “’M sorry.”

Kara sighs and soon enough, it’s time to record.

“All set,” Kara exclaims. She turns to James. “Ready?”

James smiles brightly at her. “I’m always ready to record with a beautiful girl.”

Alex grunts at that.

Kara looks at the younger girl with narrowed eyes. “You either keep quiet or leave the room.”

Alex pouts at that. “I always behave,” she defends weakly.

James is the one grunting then. “Tell that to our last colab.”

Alex’s pout turns into a glare.

“Are you going to behave?” Kara asks her, too tired to deal with Alex and her shenanigans. She dealt with them plenty already.

“… yes…”

XxXxX

“I cannot fucking believe you!”

Alex curls into herself, hugging her knees to her chest, trying to make herself into the smallest bundle. If she’s small, Kara might not see her. “‘M sorry.”

Kara rubs her face in irritation. “Goddamnit, Alexandra. Not only did you ruin his shirt like last time, you had to push a lamp into him today and bump his head. You are lucky that lamp wasn’t hot enough to burn him!”

Alex’s winces at the yelling.

Kara’s head has been steadily pounding since she woke up. She guesses sleeping less than five hours after a really stressful night and morning tends to do that to people. It didn’t help that Alex just pulled one of her most stupid stunts yet.

There was no reason for Alex to ruin their video.

“Sorry.”

“Explain it to me. Why did you kick that lamp?” she asks tiredly collapsing on the bed.

She left James dealing with the cleanup of their drag queen tutorial and the rest of the lamp and she needed to get back soon to help and apologize, again.

“Accident.”

Kara glares to the girl curled in the floor. “Alexandra, that was no accident.”

“I said it was an accident!” Alex snaps because, okay, it wasn’t an accident, but Kara always believes her, and it hurts she’s taking stupid James’s side.

Kara’s glare could probably melt the North Pole and leave all the elves jobless. “We do not yell.”

“You yelled first!”

Kara’s left eye starts twitching. “Remember I said things were gonna change around here?”

Alex frowns. What does that have to do with Alex kicking that lamp? “K?”

Kara doesn’t answer, she simply stands and marches to Alex, grabbing her by the arm and forcing her to stand too. She grabs her wrist and leads her to the corner. “You’ll stay here for fifteen minutes. You have fifteen minutes to think deeply on why you kicked that lamp before apologizing to James. Understood?”

Alex bristles at that. “I’m not a little kid!” she exclaims indignantly, because facing the corner had happened to her more time than she can count but it hadn’t happened in a long while.

And the hell she’s apologizing to that asshole.

Kara spanks her behind solidly. “You are acting like one, Alexandra. Stay there. Nose to the wall.”

Alex jumps when the hit lands. She’s still sore from her morning spanking and her butt is starting to complain again. “Don’t hit me!” she whines.

Kara’s answer comes in the form of a slap on her sit spot, a place Kara paid a lot of attention to this morning. “Then obey, Alexandra.”

Alex’s eyes start watering at both the hit and the disappointed undertone in Kara’s voice. “’M sorry.”

Kara gently but firmly makes her face the corner and presses her head enough that she’s almost touching the wall with her nose. “I’m not the one you need to apologize to. Do not move until I come for you. I expect both an explanation and an apology. Understood?”

Alex lets the tears fall and she nods. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Good girl. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes.”

XxXxX

“James, I’m so, so sorry,” Kara says for the fifth time.

She had returned after putting Alex in the corner to a room ready to record again. The lamp was put back in its place and whatever makeup could be saved was laid out in the vanity.

Luckily, she has such a good friend in James.

And luckily, James is all smiles and laughter. Sure, having the tutorial ruined is a mood killer, but it’s not the end of the world. Besides… “Chill, Kar. I know when a lady is jealous, and I kept teasing her.”

Kara frowns at his words. “Jealous?”

James grins wide. “Yeah. It’s glaring obvious, Kar, that kid doesn’t like to share.”

Kara scrunches up her nose. “Please don’t tell me you are into the Kalex ship,” she pleads.

James snorts. “You two are cute, but I know you both. You two together would be wrong.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “However, I’m very much into the KJ ship.”

Kara groans at that, making James laugh. “I hate you.”

Kalex is the name their followers gave Alex and Kara when they found out they knew and liked each other. That was before they started living together and before they started doing collaborations, but the name had stuck and it’s not rare for either of them to be tagged in something related to the ship on the daily.

On the other hand… KJ is the ship name that was given to James and Kara since the unspoken times. That one is a stupid ship, if she’s honest. Sure, James and she lived together for two years, just after she left foster care, but they were roommates and it was James who introduced her to the YouTube world. At that time both were broke, working as baristas and trying to build a career in the internet and had no mind to date.

Those were busy times.

And, there was also a small factor that would have halted everything if they took the chance.

“You are gay, James,” Kara states miserably. “How can you ship us?”

James shrugs. “Babe, you are hot. If I weren’t gay, I’d be stupid not to date you. ‘Sides, it’s all about the publicity, no? Let the fans fantasize.”

Kara groans but keeps quiet. He’s right. She always denies she’s dating Alex, always, but she more often than not lets her fans carry on when they are gushing about her dating James.

“You are not wrong,” she concedes.

“And I’m also not wrong telling you Alex is super jealous of me.”

“Now, that’s a lie.”

“Gurl, Alex hates me. She’s always hated me. She doesn’t like to share her KayKay.”

Kara scowls. James is her best friend, the one she always calls when she needs to talk and the one that had been there for her always. She met him in high school before she left foster care and they were comfortable with each other and they used to visit each other often. They moved in together when she was kicked out that house and he was thrown out for being gay and it was then when their friendship deepened…

She can admit that if didn’t know they were absolutely not dating, she’d thought for certain they were.

But, still. Alex has no reason to be jealous.

“She doesn’t hate you,” Kara says resolutely. “She’s just had a rough night.”

James shakes his head in disappointment. Why can Kara see it? He decides to keep quiet on that front and ask what happened. “You mentioned that before. Anything I can help with?”

Kara sighs. “Alex got arrested again.”

James winces. He was not ignorant of all the messes Alex has gotten herself into. “Community service?”

Kara shakes her head. “A fine. And the promise to jail her for ten years if she steals again.”

James’s wince become more pronounced. “Damn. You have the money for the fine? I can lend you some.”

Kara waves his concern away. “Money’s not an issue. Thanks.”

“You’re more than welcome. I’m here to help… what are you going to do with her?” He takes her hands in his.

It’s no secret that Kara would move the heavens and the earth to protect Alex, so she should have a plan by now.

So, it was shocking when Kara smiled sadly. “I’m still working on that.”

James squeezes her hand. “I’m here,” he reminds her easily.

Kara smiles gratefully. “Thank you, James.” She looks at the clock she uses to keep track of her recording times. “I’ll get her. She’ll apologize.”

James nods and watches his friend leave the room.

He has the feeling hard times were ahead of those two.

XxXxX

“Come here Alex.”

Kara’s soft command jolts Alex’s trance. Fifteen minutes was a too long time and she couldn’t help but plunge into her thoughts as she was punished.

She really fucked up, didn’t she? Hell, she keeps fucking it all.

She received a spanking this morning but, somehow, that one punishment hadn’t make her think as deeply as her corner time had.

Maybe it was because with the spanking she was just feeling the pain? The pain of both her still sore butt and the pain of knowing that she had disappointed Kara, again.

After her punishment Kara had given her an ultimatum and then they had gone to bed. She really didn’t have the time or brain power to think it all through.

Kicking that lamp was stupid. She knows it. It was childish, selfish and plain stupid.

But, she can’t help the hot feeling that burbles in her chest every time dumb James smiles at Kara.

She can’t.

She doesn’t like him. She hadn’t like him when she was nine and met him for the first time and she surely doesn’t like it now, that he lives on his own but somehow manages to come by at least once a week.

“Alex?” Kara’s voice is closer to her this time around and she fidgets, thinking back.

Kara used to put her in time out a lot when she was a small kid and her rules were consistent. Stare at the wall, think on why you are being punished, do not move at all costs and wait for Kara to take you out the corner.

Sure, she can’t remember when was the last time she was in the corner, maybe when she was twelve? No, that can’t be it. Kara was living away by then…

Either way, she was torn now. She could follow the rules and stay put until Kara takes her out or she could obey and go to Kara’s call.

She doesn’t like it when she can’t decide what’s the best choice.

… come to think of that… maybe that’s why she’s always in trouble.

She never knows what the best option is.

A warm hand come to rest on her shoulder. “Alex? You okay?”

Alex’s frame relaxes and turns to face Kara, her face down. “Ye.”

Kara combs the hair out her face, searching for her eyes. “Didn’t you hear me?” she asks softly. “I was calling you.”

Alex feels her eyes start to water. She fucked up again. See? She can’t make the right choices.

“Alex?”

Alex rubs at her eye, willing the tears to go. “I-I was waiting for you…”

Kara furrows her eyebrows before her expression clears, understanding dawning on her. She smiles and hugs her. “You were waiting for permission to leave the corner, uh, honey?” she asks softly.

Alex sighs deeply and nods, melting in the hug. Kara gets it. Kara always gets her.

Kara cradles Alex’s head so she can nose into her cleavage. “Good girl, Alex. Thank you for waiting for me.” She kisses the top of her head. “Thank you for being a good girl, doing your corner time.”

Alex whines. Kara calling her a good girl, talking to her with that soft voice, always makes her feel warm and giddy inside.

Kara rocks them from side to side. “Ready to tell me why you kicked that lamp?”

Alex whines again.

“Alex.”

Alex wiggles in place, changing her weight from foot to foot.

Kara starts patting her butt gently. “Need to pee, love?”

Alex flushes at that. She buries her face in Kara’s chest and shakes her head.

“Really? Because someone is doing her potty dance.”

Alex whines again, “I don’t have a potty dance.” She buries deeper into her chest and hugs her middle with force. Having Kara pat her butt makes her feel weird. Good weird.

Kara chuckles at that. “Sure thing, baby.” She stops her patting and rubs Alex’s back.

“I don’t!”

“Mmmm. Sure. Ready to tell me why you kicked that lamp?”

“…”

Kara sighs for what feels like the million time this day. “Alexandra…”

“… I’ll apologize.”

“Oh, you will. I still want to know why you kicked that lamp, though.”

Alex frowns against Kara’s scratchy shirt. “Don’t wanna talk ‘bout it.”

Kara taps her butt with enough force to make it sting a little. “You need another fifteen minutes to think it over?”

Alex jumps at the slap. She shakes her head and her face flushes, staring up to Kara’s stern gaze. “N-No.”

“Then, tell me.”

Alex bites her bottom lip and avoid all eye contact. “I…” she clutches the back of Kara’s shirt in her fists. “I don’t like him…” she confesses in a whisper.

“Can you elaborate?”

Alex starts pulling at the shirt, playing with the frills on it. She keeps her eyes to the side. “He smiles at cha…”

Kara smiles sadly at that. Maybe James is right to some extent. She places a finger under Alex’s chin, prompting the girl to look at her again. “He’s just a friend, baby.”

Alex shrugs. Her lower lip is jutting just barely and it takes all of Kara’s willpower to not coo over it.

Instead, she Eskimo kisses the girl, making Alex giggle.

“Thank you for being honest, Alex.” She rests her forehead against the girl’s. “But that’s no reason to harm him.”

“… Me know…”

“Good. Let’s apologize and then we’ll order some pizza.”

Alex scrunches up her nose. “James too?”

“James too,” Kara confirms. “We are gonna have diner and then he’ll go home. He’ll be back tomorrow to record what we’re missing.”

Alex frowns deeply at that, throwing her head back to glare at Kara. “But we were doing our colab tomorrow!”

Kara hums. She kisses Alex’s forehead before releasing her from her arms. “Maybe next time you’ll think twice before interrupting our work.”

“KayKay!”

Kara raises an eyebrow in challenge. “Drop the attitude, missy.”

“But I already did my corner time!”

Kara shakes her head. “We not doing our colab tomorrow isn’t a punishment, Alex. That’s just the consequence of what you did today. James and I had plans you so nicely ruined, so we need to reschedule. That’s not a punishment for you, Alex, it’s just us not being able to finish tonight.”

Alex nods miserably. She gets it. Or, rather, she kind of gets it.

She knows Kara would do a collab with her at any time and that she made it impossible for them to do theirs tonight. But that still doesn’t stop the sting in her chest from developing.

Still, maybe the night can be saved.

“Can I sleep with you tonight?”

“Always, babygirl.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys... the more I write, the more I realize this story takes place like 75% in a bed...

“She’s like a little kid.”

James’s comment makes Kara snort into her beer, watching mesmerized as Alex’s chest rise and fall in her sleep.

Once the pizza was home, the three of them had wasted no time in eating while watching a movie. And, because two of them were responsible adults, James and Kara decided to bring out the beers and relax to Frozen while Alex had to stick to soda.

“She’s tired,” Kara defends the younger girl.

And that’s true. Alex hadn’t reach ‘Let It Go’ before passing out on the carpet, moment when James had changed the movie to a slasher one.

But Kara isn’t paying attention to the screen. All her focus is in her little sister and how tiring the day really was.

“Just like a little kid,” James repeats, stretching out.

Kara hums. “It’s past midnight, James.”

“You’re right,” James stands. It’s obvious tonight is over and it’s time to go home. “I’m heading out.”

Kara frowns. “Stay the night, you drank.”

James wiggles his eyebrows. “I thought you said you don’t like KJ?”

Kara rolls her eyes. “Ass. It’s late and you have no one waiting for you at home. Stay.”

“Ouch. Thank you so much for reminding me I’m single.”

“Stay.”

“Where would I sleep?” he asks “I love you, but I love my life more, meaning I’m not sleeping with you. Alex would kill me. I’m not a weirdo, meaning I’m not sleeping with her. She’s a kiddo. I’m an old man, meaning I can’t sleep on the floor like her. And, I love my back, at this time it’s the only one supporting me, meaning I’m not sleeping on your couch. That thing is shitty.”

Kara snorts again, she just had a beer and she feels relaxed and content and, even when James’s brand of craziness is rarely amusing, she finds him funny at the moment.

“Sleep in my bed,” she offers easily. “I’m bunking with this one.”

James, on the other hand, was the one to finish the six-pack and made headway into another one. He shouldn’t be driving, and he should just stay put, if he’s honest with himself. “Thanks, Kar. I’d like that.”

Kara nods. “Help me tidy up here and we’ll go to bed.”

James salutes. “Aye, aye, Captain.”

XxXxX

Movement register in the back of her mind, making her whine lowly.

“Shh, go back to sleep.”

She really, really wants to, but she can feel how her top is being removed and her bra taken off and that’s a big red alert.

She pushes against the body before her, eyes still closed, and starts using her nails just like Kara taught her. She aims for where she thinks the eyes are, as she scrambles back until she hits a wall. “No! No!”

“Shh, baby, shh.”

There’s something familiar about that voice and Alex opens one eye to see her surroundings.

She’s in her room, she can see that. She’s also topless, but she knew that. She’s on her bed, which isn’t reassuring at the moment. But, Kara is in front of her, with a small smile and her hands raised to her front… probably to fend off her attacks.

Alex rubs at her face, just like she’s seen Kara do all the time. “’M sorry, KayKay,” she mumbles, still half asleep.

Kara sits on the bed’s edge and places a hand on her bare foot.

Uh. She doesn’t remember ditching her fluffy socks.

“I’m sorry, honey,” Kara says in a murmur. “I thought I could change you without waking you up. That was a bad move on my part.”

Alex yawns wide. “S’okay.” Now that the scare has passed, she’s sleepy again and wants nothing more than to curl up and rest.

So, she does just that, flopping to the side and curling up.

“Oh, love,” Kara laughs quietly. “Let’s put some pajamas on you first.”

“Mmm. Sleep.”

“But clothes first. Come on, sit up for me.”

“KayKay, noooo.”

Kara tickles her side, just where she’s the most sensitive. “You can’t sleep topless, Lexie. James’s staying over and you wouldn’t want to flash him, would you?”

That wakes Alex up.

She sits up abruptly, almost like a Jack-in-the-box. “He’s what?!”

Kara rubs her side, where her hand was tickling her not a moment before. “He’s drunk and staying over.”

Alex frowns. She looks around her room again for a moment, before glaring at Kara. “You promised me!”

Kara blinks owlishly. “Alex?”

“I’m sleeping with you!”

“… Baby, I don’t understand.”

Alex can feel tears in her eyes. Why won’t Kara get this? It feels like she’s been crying a lot recently and she wants to cry harder because she shouldn’t be crying this much.

Today sucks.

“Me sleep with y-you,” Alex sobs out.

Kara nods. “Yes, baby. But why are you crying?”

Alex can’t help it. She starts crying harder. She scratches at her eyes, trying to stop the tears. “I-I…”

“Oh, no, no,” Kara murmurs. She grabs Alex’s hands in hers and starts caressing her thumb over the back of them. “Don’t scratch, love.”

Alex’s breath hitches. “Y-You…”

“Lexie?” Kara pulls Alex by the hands so she can hug the girl. “Baby, what’s wrong? Did I scare you?”

Alex shakes her head, her cries increasing. Kara scared her for a moment, yes, but she knows she’s safe. She’s always safe with Kara. But Kara is not understanding and she’s mad about it. And sad. She’s so sad.

Stupid James.

Kara hums and pulls Alex to sit on her lap. She cradles the girl so Alex can rest her head on her chest. “Shh, loveling. Shh,” she soothes as she starts rocking them gently. “Calm down, baby. You’re okay, you’re okay.”

Alex hiccups and she nods.

She’s okay as long as Kara is holding her.

Alex buries her nose against Kara breasts and rubs it against the soft material of her tank top, leaving snot behind. But she knows Kara won’t care.

She’s never cared about any of her body’s fluids.

She wishes Kara never changes.

Kara starts patting her butt with one hand and scratching her head with the other. “Shh, Lexie, shh.”

Little by little, Alex calms down. Her sobs tamper off and she’s sniffling and hiccupping by the end of it. She burrows deeper against Kara and exhales shakily. “Sorry I scratched you,” she mumbles.

Kara hugs her gently. “I’m glad you did. Means you will defend yourself until I get there.”

“Get there?”

Kara smiles down at Alex. With red eyes, runny nose and tussled hair, she looks just like the little kid she first met. “Yes, Lexie. I promise I will never let you be in a position where you’ll need to defend yourself like that. I’ll always be there.”

Alex stares up to Kara and something behind her eyes looks different somehow. There’s an openness and vulnerability in there Kara hasn’t seen in years. She raises her pinky as she keeps looking into her eyes. “Promise?”

Kara links their pinkies together. “Promise baby.”

Alex inhales deeply and closes her eyes. She nods. “Okay.”

Kara brushes some hair out her face. “Can you tell me why you were crying?”

Alex frowns. “Sleep now,” she grumbles.

Kara sighs. “Sleep after changing our clothes. Someone,” she says with a smile, “just wet my top.”

Alex pokes her tongue out at Kara. “Someone’s not sorry.”

Kara snorts. “Come on, up you go.”

After her crying spell, Alex is too tired to put up a fight and Kara can manhandle her into soft shorts and a loose shirt. Likewise, she changes her top for one of Alex’s biggest hoodies, which incidentally, had been Kara’s before _someone_ stole it. She’s over a head taller than Alex, so there’s no way she can easily fit in most of her clothes. She’s also two cups bigger than her, so she needs to rely on liberating her old pieces, because it’s late and James is surely asleep and, frankly, she wants to be asleep too and the walk to her bedroom seems like too much effort.

“Come here, you little devil,” Kara says after they are finally, finally under the covers and ready to sleep.

Alex wastes no time in burrowing back onto Kara’s chest. “Sleep now,” she commands in a whisper.

“Nuh-uh.” Kara hugs her close. “Tell me why we had a meltdown first.”

Alex clutches at Kara’s hoodie. “Don’t wanna.”

“Please, baby. I need to know so we can avoid another meltdown in the future.”

Alex shakes her head.

It’s too late for all this, Kara decides. She resumes the soft patting on Alex’s butt, trying to coax her into talking. “Please, Bubba,” she asks in a murmur, slipping back to a pet name Alex insisted she was too big for when she turned eight.

“You mad.”

“I won’t be mad. Promise.”

Alex tugs at the hoodie, trying to reach Kara’s ear.

And, despise her tiredness, Kara can’t help but giggle at such a thrown back into their childhood. Alex was always trying to whisper secrets in her ear when they were kids.

“You sleep with Jamie,” Alex breathes in her ear.

Kara frowns, trying to understand exactly what’s being said. On one hand, this is the first time the name Jamie is said, even when she knows Alex is referring to James. The nickname is concerning in different levels… she doesn’t like how she can feel her chest pull at Alex giving James a nickname.

And on the other…

“Baby, why would I sleep with James?” That statement was so baffling.

Alex wiggles a little, before she’s whispering in her ear again. “He likes KayKay.”

Kara sighs. “He doesn’t like me, Alex. He’s a friend.”

Alex grunts. “He does. He smiles.”

James is indeed right about Alex being jealous. She’ll have to buy the boy a bottle in apology for not seeing what’s in front of her.

If she had noticed before, maybe a lot of tears would’ve been saved.

“Baby… James is gay,” Kara reminds Alex gently. “You’ve met one of his boyfriends before.”

Alex shrugs. “So are you. You still date guys,” she answers sullenly.

Kara shakes her head. This conversation is downright ridiculous. “Alex, I’m bi. There’s a difference. I like both guys and girls.”

“See? Gay. Still dating dudes.”

Kara massages her temples. This is leading nowhere. She knows Alex is aware of the difference between gay and bisexual… just as she knows the younger girl is being obtuse for the sake of it. “Fine. Whatever. Still, James is a friend. He doesn’t like me, and I don’t like him.”

Alex narrows her eyes at her, almost pressing her pinky onto her face. “Promise?”

Kara interlaces their fingers. This pinky promising was getting out of control. “Promise.”

And, just like that, Alex relaxes and cuddles close to Kara. “Okay.”

Kara, on the other hand, cannot shake that she was missing something in all the mess that was Alex’s combo. “Wait,” she says after a moment. “You were upset because you thought I was sleeping with James and not you?”

Alex nods tiredly. She’s ready to sleep and Kara’s freaking out tone is not helping.

“… Alex…”

“Shh,” the younger girl pressed her palm against the whole of Kara’s face. “Sleep now.”

And Kara wants to obey, she really does, but she’s so confused right now.

Still, with a snoring Alex using her chest as a pillow, she too finds sleep sometime in the early morning… even if her dreams are filled with a topless James and a scowling Alex.

Not the most restful sleep she ever had.

XxXxX

“Wakey, wakey, little monster.”

Warm hands are rubbing up and down her back and she curls more onto herself, trying to escape them.

“Oh, no, love,” the voice is raspy but still full of mirth. “It’s time to open those beautiful eyes and join the land of the living. It’s past noon.”

Alex whines. “No.”

Kara shakes her shoulder. “Come on, Alex. I want you to sleep at a decent hour tonight, and for that, you need to get up.”

Alex kicks her legs under the covers in discontent. The moment she does so, she knows something is wrong. Her body freezes and she whimpers.

“Baby? What’s wrong?”

Alex burrows her face in her pillow. “Wet,” she announces quietly. She’s not ashamed to share the fact with Kara, but it is still embarrassing to be sixteen and suffer from nighttime accidents.

“Oh, baby,” Kara continues to rub her back. “Come on, then. Let’s have a shower.”

Alex turns to face Kara and frowns when she realizes that the older girl is dressed for the day and with her full makeup on. Not the small amount she uses on the basis, no, the full-on mask that she wears for her videos. “Recording?”

Kara smiles. “Yes. James and I managed to record after all.”

Alex pouts, jutting her lower lip just barely. “You didn’t wake me.”

Kara’s smile turns tender. “I know you like watching me record, baby, but you needed to sleep.” And Kara wasn’t eager to have Alex near James anytime soon. The boy is already on his way home and that’s the reason she’s just waking Alex.

Alex nods sadly. “Kay.” She burrows against Kara’s side. “Sleep now.”

“Oh, no, no, no.” Kara pokes her side. “Up, sunshine.”

“No wanna.”

“I don’t care. You’re icky and I bet you’re hungry. You barely had any pizza last night.”

As if on cue, Alex’s stomach rumbles.

“See? Come on. I want to shower too.”

Alex looks up with just one eye, the other refusing to open for business. “Bath?”

Kara hums. “Don’t you rather have one before bed?”

Alex shakes her head. “Share.”

Kara bops Alex’s nose, understanding Alex speak. “You want a bath so I can take it with you?”

Alex nods. “Ye.”

Kara chuckles. “Then no, baby. We’ll save the bath for later. We’ll just share a quick shower and then a late breakfast. And then, I need to talk to you.”

Alex’s eyes open fully at that. “Trouble?”

Kara tugs the girl out her warm covers. “No. You’re not in trouble, but we have much to discuss.”

Alex lower lip starts to tremble at that, but she follows Kara into the bathroom. She’s sleepy and wet and hungry and now she’s also anxious of whatever the older girl has in mind.

She wants back into bed and into her dreams.

Those are at least full of sweets and colors and lazy games.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, guys, I'm starting to run out of ideas for thing for them to do during Alex's summer's break. Most of what's in my head would work better for when Alex goes back to school...
> 
> ... so, any idea will be appreciated :)

Shower and breakfast are quick affairs.

Kara really wants to return to a normal sleeping schedule, so, when Alex dives on the couch and closes her eyes, she’s quick to sit her up and make her focus.

“No sleeping, Alex. We need to talk.”

Alex whines. “Sleepy.”

“I know, love. We’ll go to bed early. I promise.”

Alex slumps against her side. “Wanna sleep now.”

Kara pulls her to her lap, cradling her head in the crook of her arm and letting the rest of her body lay across the couch. She knows this position might make Alex sleepier, but she also knows that what they’ll be talking is going to upset her. Holding her like this might keep her calm. “No. No sleeping. Talking time.”

Alex’s nose finds its way to Kara’s breast. She noses the soft material, breathing in Kara’s smell. “No wanna,” she mumbles.

“Too bad, because we are not sleeping. We are talking now.”

Alex huffs and cuddles closer.

“Alex,” Kara begins. “I know I’ve already punished you, but we need to make sure you don’t end up detained again. And for that, I have rules you need to follow.”

Alex wiggles in place. She doesn’t like where this is going. “Promise I’ll be good,” she grumbles.

Kara smiles sadly down at her. She cups Alex’s jaw and starts caressing her cheek with her thumb. She used to do this with a young Alex that was too angry to listen. And this Alex might not be that angry yet, but Kara knows her girl and she is heading that way. “Oh, Alex,” she sighs the name. “I know you say that now, but you and I know that you’ll forget your promise next time you feel like having an adrenaline rush.”

Alex flushes at that. And not in the embarrassing way. “I will not!” she exclaims offended. How can Kara think that?!

Kara sighs. “Alex. You promised last week you weren’t shoplifting again.” She shakes her head. “I love you, baby, but you tend to stop thinking and then you do stupid stuff.”

Alex crosses her arms and huffs. Kara has a point, but she’s also wrong.

She promises for good this time. And she won’t be going back on her word.

“So,” Kara continues, ignoring the fuming girl in her lap. “I have rules. I’m sorry I didn’t give you any when you first moved in with me, but I thought you’d be a little more responsible.”

Alex flushes again. This time in embarrassment.

“We’ve been living together for six months now,” Kara keeps going. Her thumb still tracing patterns on Alex’s cheek. “Before I tell you my rules, is there anything you don’t like about how we’ve living?”

Alex takes a moment to contemplate that question, because with how strict Kara had been when they were kids, it was an honest surprise that she lets Alex do as she pleases. It had weirded her out then, but she soon learnt to embrace her new, free lifestyle.

Since she moved in with Kara in January, it had all been all good. She doesn’t have a curfew as she did back at the foster home, and she isn’t obliged to monitor what she eats, not that food is a problem. She’s the first one to admit she doesn’t like most veggies, but she also likes light food, shying from most high processes things and grease, so she knows her diet is not that bad.

Kara also never gave her chores. She helps around the house, but the heavy load is taken by Kara. Kara cooks, cleans, does laundry, does the shopping and makes sure their bills are paid. The most Alex does is Sunday brunch and the dishes. She’d clean around and keep her room tidy, but that’s mostly because she doesn’t like clutter.

School is not a problem either. Alex likes school. Most people complain about it, but she likes learning and she likes hanging out with people. She’s not a social butterfly, but she enjoys school days because she gets to interact with people. She’s not smart, not like Kara, but her grades aren’t that bad… she won’t be having a scholarship anytime soon but she’s not failing anything. She does her homework unprompted, because she hates leaving things unfinished, but she doesn’t study more than she needs to.

As far as she’s concerned, life is good.

So, she shakes her head. “All good.”

Kara raises an eyebrow at that. She should’ve seen that coming.

“Okay, then. So, we’ll go over my rules now. First, bedtime.”

“I don’t need a bedtime!”

“Hush, you,” Kara scold with little heat. “Bedtime. Alex, you go to bed around two a.m. and that’s not healthy if you’re up before seven on school days. Also, now that’s summer and school’s out, I know you’ll flip your schedule so you’ll sleep the day away and be up all night. I won’t allow that.”

“But it’s summer break!”

“See? You didn’t deny that you’ll mess up your sleep pattern. So, on weekdays, you’ll be in bed by nine thirty and on weekends you can be up till eleven. Starting today.”

“That’s barbaric, Kara! Most parties start at that time! I cannot be in bed that early!”

“And that leads me to my second rule. I know I can’t stop you for going to parties, but you getting flat-out drunk is not going to happen anymore. I’m tired of getting calls from your friends so I can get your ass home. Also, love, some of the places I’ve picked you up from make my skin crawl, so, from now on, you’ll ask before going out. If I say no, it’s no and you’ll stay in-”

“Kara! I’m not a kid!”

Kara rolls her eyes and combs some of Alex’s hair out her face. “Then stop complaining like one. Remember you promised to be a good girl for me? You said you’d obey my rules.”

Alex kicks her legs at that but she remains cradled into the older girl. “Kara!”

“Alex!” Kara exclaims back. “I’m being serious. I’m sorry I didn’t give you any rules until now, but now that I am, and you’ll listen. As I was saying, if I say no, you’ll stay in and if I let you go, you won’t drink or do drugs.”

“… I never do drugs,” Alex grumbles.

Kara nods, scratching Alex’s scalp. “I know, baby. Drugs make that pretty head hurt. All the more reason not to do them.”

Alex’s lip juts out. “Why can’t I drink?”

“Remind me the legal drinking age?”

“… twenty one…”

“There’s your answer. You just turned sixteen, you have five years to go.”

Alex’s lip starts trembling. “But I’ve been drinking for years! You’ve never said anything!”

Kara kisses Alex’s forehead as she starts rocking them in place. “I know,” she murmurs against her skin. “And I’m so, so, so, sorry I haven’t said anything until now. Baby, I’m telling you this because I worry. I care. I’m sorry if I didn’t show it before, that I didn’t say anything, but I don’t want you to be hurt. I don’t want anyone harming you.”

Alex’s heart misses a beat at that. Her chest starts filling with warmth and she doesn’t know why she feels like crying yet again. “… Kay…”

Kara kisses her forehead again, enjoying the closeness. That’s it, before a thought crosses her mind. “Nothing has happened, right?” she asks in a frightened murmur. “No one has hurt you, right?”

Alex scrunches up her nose and shakes her head vigorously. “Nothing. No one.” She sneaks her arms around Kara’s middle. “I’m always safe.”

Kara exhales shakily. “… you sure?”

Alex nods resolutely. “Yes.” She raises enough to press an innocent peck to Kara’s trembling lips, just like she did when she was a little kid. “I swear. There’s always one of us sober keeping an eye on the rest. Don’t worry, K. No one has hurt me, and no one will. ‘Cause you’ll keep me safe, right?”

Kara nods, hugging Alex tight to her chest. “Damn right. I’ll keep you safe.”

“See? Don’t worry.”

“Okay…”

They bask in their hug for a minute or two, before Alex asks cheekily. “So… yes to alcohol?”

“No, Alexandra. No to the alcohol.”

Alex pouts. “Not even at home?”

“No.”

“Just a couple of beers here and there.”

“No.”

“Wine? Pasta and wine are a great combo.”

“No, Alex.”

“What about eggnog? It can’t be Christmas without eggnog.”

“Christmas is a long way coming.”

“That’s a yes?”

“No, Alex. That wasn’t a yes.”

“Oh! What about the filling on those chocolate you like? It has tequila, I think.”

Kara raises an eyebrow at that. “You really need alcohol that much?”

Alex shrugs. “I really don’t care.”

“… then why do you keep asking?”

Alex has the gall to smile wide. “Got you out your funk, didn’t it?”

Kara snorts. She pecks Alex’s lips, not differently from how Alex did minutes ago. “Thank you, love.”

Alex’s smile grows to a grin. “You’re very welcome.”

Kara tickles her side for that. “Sooooo…” she drags out the word. “Rule number three…”

“Oh! Com’on!”

XxXxX

“K…”

Kara hums. She’s sitting at her laptop, editing her last video. If she’s honest with herself, adding the bits where Alex made her mess is a solid choice. Not only will it explain why the drag makeup tutorial changed midway to a ‘how-to-hide-racoon-level-bags’ tutorial, but it’s funny as hell. James’ hangover is evident in the video and they spent most of the recording time both hiding his bag and Kara’s. Adding those bits make for a great comedic relief which her fans will love, and will make them squeal with how cute Alex, in retrospect, looks.

It was a funny video, filled with jokes and James’s usual melodramatics.

“K?”

Kara turns to see Alex hovering in the studio’s doorway. “What it is, Lex?”

Alex bit her lower lip. “Can I go record something downtown?”

Kara’s eyebrows rose. They had spent most of all afternoon yesterday going over Kara’s rules and what she expected from Alex. Alex, for her part, had complained plenty, but she ended up agreeing with everything she was told.

She even went to bed without much hassle… although that might mostly be because Kara kept her word and had a bath with the younger girl.

They had spent then the evening just chilling and getting caught up with their social media and their respective fandoms. Word of Alex’s latest arrest hasn’t reached their ears yet, and they hope it keep that way, but anything can happen, so they are on the lookout.

Especially if Alex does what she does best soon: getting into trouble.

Kara doesn’t expect Alex to follow the rules all the time, in fact, she’s fully expecting Alex to misbehave before the week ends, so it’s a surprise when Alex comes and asks for permission to go out.

Kara didn’t ask her to do that, but she can’t help but feel grateful Alex is taking initiative.

“Thank you for asking, baby.” Kara looks out the window. It’s dark already. “But I think it’s a little too late for that. Remember you have to get ready for bed at nine.”

Alex huffs. “But it just got dark, though. I want to catch the lights down at Russell Park.”

Kara nods. She looks at her laptop and the almost done editing. She looks at her clock. If they hurry, they might make it back in time to keep up with the schedule Alex will follow whatever she likes or not. “Grab your stuff, love,” she commands easily. “I’ll go with you.”

Alex flushes. “You don’t have to. I promise I’ll come back soon.”

That statement and the guilty blush make an alarm go off in Kara’s head. “Alexandra…” she starts slowly. “Where are you really going?”

Alex looks away, just like she always does when she’s lying. “I told you. Russell Park.”

“… And why can’t I come?”

“It’ll be boring.”

Kara closes her laptop, fixing all her attention on Alex’s fidgety frame. “You wanted us to do a colab. Why don’t you want me to go now?”

“Y-You won’t make the course. It’s a tricky one.”

Kara narrows her eyes at the slight stutter. “Then I’ll come either way. I can record some takes for you if you want.”

“… Uh…”

The older girl shakes her head. She pushes from her desk and beckons Alex. “Come here,” she orders.

Alex hesitates for a second before following the command. As soon as she’s close enough, she’s pulled onto Kara’s lap.

Kara hugs the girl to her chest. “Want to tell me the real reason you’re going out?”

Alex sighs. She’s busted. “Lucy called. Max and Siobhan haven’t paid the fine. If they don’t, they’ll be sent to juvie tomorrow.”

Kara sighs back. “And why didn’t you tell me that in the first place?”

Alex starts picking at the small stones that littler Kara’s blouse. She’s not resting her cheek against Kara’s shoulder because of them, but at least they are fun to play with. “… You said not to meet them again…”

Kara shakes her head. “Thank you for listening to that. Now, I’d appreciate if you listened to the ‘do not lie’ rule too.”

“’M sorry.”

“Why haven’t they paid?”

Alex tugs at a loose stone. “Their dad won’t pay.” She shrugs. “Lucy said he’s mad.”

Kara gets that. “And he has every right to be mad. I was mad too.”

“Yeah, but you bailed me out. You wouldn’t let me go to juvie. You care about me.”

“That’s true. Reason why we have our new rules, right?”

“Right.”

“Reason why you are not going to bail them out.”

“Kara!” Alex exclaims unhappily, sitting up and detaching the stone in the process. “I can’t do that!”

Kara tuts. She cups Alex’s face in her hands. “Listen, Alex. Their dad wants them to learn their lesson. If he won’t bail them, it’s for a reason.”

“The reason being that their dad’s an asshole.”

That earned her a slap to the side of her thigh. “Language.”

“… sorry.” Alex’s eyes widen and her lip juts out. She’s giving her best puppy dogs eyes. “But, really, I can’t leave them. They are my friends. It’s not fair.”

Kara taps her quivering lip. “Put that away. That look stopped working a long time ago.”

Alex reluctantly does so.

“Alex, I bailed you out, but I made you pay the price,” Kara tries to explain as patiently as she can. “If you bail them out, they will neither pay for their actions and they’ll believe they are owned favors. So, they’ll mess up again, because they’ll believe that there are no real consequences if they misbehave and that there will be always someone willing to pay for their crimes.”

“But…”

“I know, love. You want to help, but it’s not your place to do so.”

“But I’m free. Lucy is free. Why won’t their dad pay the fine? It’s not like they can’t afford it.”

Alex had a point there. Max and Siobhan were kids of a well-off doctor, so money was not the issue. “True, but that just means their dad wants them to be there. He wants them to learn in juvie. We can’t do anything about that.”

“It’s not fair.” Alex slumps against her shoulder, stones be damned, with a little frown on her face. “It doesn’t feel right.”

Kara hums, scratching her scalp. Kara knows that Alex’s guilt is making her want to help, added to her natural need to help her friends. She understands where she’s coming from, but that doesn’t negate everything she pointed out.

“Tell you what. We can go to the station. You can talk to them. If their dad isn’t paying for money reasons, we’ll bail them out. If not, we’ll let him deal with them the way he sees fit. Okay?”

Alex scrunches up her nose at that. “But…”

“Imagine James was the one to bail you out,” Kara changes tactics. “He bails you out and I already had in mind the spanking I was gonna give you. But, because he bailed you out, I have no authority to punish you, meaning one, that you wouldn’t have learnt your lesson, and two, that I kept being mad and worried. Do you think that’d be fair?”

“… you’re no longer mad, right?” Alex asks timidly, just to make sure everything is okay in her universe.

“No. Because someone received her punishment like a good girl and, because of that, I know she’ll be more careful from now on. Alex, you came in to ask permission to go out. Can you remember the last time you did that?”

“… no…”

“Exactly. I rest calm knowing you learnt you lesson. The only thing I have to worry about now, is making sure you remember that lesson.”

“So… Bailing them out would make their dad worry and them reckless?”

“Yes.”

Alex swings her legs, thinking hard. She looks up to Kara, her expression open and, for the first time in a really long time, relaxed of all worry. “Can we still go visit them?”

Kara smiles. “Yes, baby.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the support and ideas!!!!
> 
> If you guys want to see something happen, lemme know!!! I'm always trying to find ways for this two to interact :)

“Finally!” Siobhan exclaims happily as Alex approaches the holding cell.

“You brought the money?” Max asks in lieu of a greeting.

“Hello to you too,” Alex mutters. “And, no. I don’t have the money.”

Siobhan scowls, but it’s Max the one who complains. “What? Why? We told Lucy to call you!”

Alex doesn’t feel good with that statement. “She did,” she says easily. “But I don’t have the money.”

“And why not?! If we don’t pay, we’ll go to juvie for six months!”

Alex’s nose scrunches up at that. Why was she headed for two years in juvie and they are only getting six months? Is it because she’s in the foster system? Or because she’s a younger than them? Or because their dad is famous-ish?

This is not fair.

“Kara didn’t let me,” Alex answers honestly.

Siobhan rolls her eyes. “You were supposed to do it behind her back, moron.”

“Besides,” Max adds, “who is she to tell you how to spend your money?”

It’s then Alex’s turn to scowl. She’s not liking the way her friends are talking. She doesn’t mention that she was, indeed, going to do it behind Kara’s back. “I don’t lie to her,” she says somberly… even if it’s a partial lie. “And she’s my guardian. She controls my money.”

She doesn’t add that while Kara’s name is the one under the bank account, it’s Alex the one fully responsible of it and that she can do with that money whatever she pleases.

Oh, she asked Kara to just visit, but she came to the station with the intention of bailing them out, even when Kara said no.

But, after this really cold and demanding greeting, she doesn’t want to spend money on them.

Kara is right. Some time in juvie might help them.

“Your guardian is stupid,” Siobhan scoffs. “Can’t she see we are in trouble and it’s your fault?”

“My fault?!”

“Yes,” Max glares. “It’s your fault we were caught!”

Alex sees red. “It’s your damn fault, Maxwell, that we were stealing in the first place!”

“It’s not my fault you can’t say no to a dare!” He steps towards the bars, making Alex take a step back.

“It’s your damn fault for daring me in the first place!”

“Guys!” Siobhan yells, interrupting the other two. “Stop it!”

Max snarls, but complies. He’s red in the face and there’s some spit clinging to the corner of his mouth.

Alex, on the other hand, has gone a little pale and, for the first time, is seeing the Lord siblings in a different light.

Had they always been this scary?

Probably.

Not many hung out with the Lord siblings at school. Lucy attends another school, but she is Siobhan’s girlfriend and that’s the only reason she spends her free time with them. Alex, on the other hand, had simply found them exciting to be around.

Maybe she had miscalculated all this time.

“Why are you so mean?” Alex asks before she can stop herself.

Max narrows his eyes. “Mean? You are the asshole that’s turning on us.”

“I’m not turning on you,” Alex explains. “But I can’t help you this time.”

Siobhan’s lip curls in distaste. “Why? Because holy Kara won’t let you?”

Alex shrugs. That’s partially true, either way.

Max throws his arms to the side. “Don’t listen to her,” he snaps. “She’s no one to control your life!”

“She’s my sister.”

“Foster sister.”

Alex frowns. She’d never liked how people always made that correction. “She’s my sister,” she repeats.

Siobhan snorts. “Foster or not. She doesn’t control you.”

Alex’s frown deepens. “She’s just looking out for me.”

Max’s chuckle sends shivers down Alex’s spine… and not the good kind. “Just like she looked out for you when she abandoned you at that home?”

Alex freezes at that. Once, when she was too drunk to censor herself, she’d opened up about her childhood to her friends. She told them all about how Kara left their foster home shortly after Alex turned ten and how she missed her so much for years.

She talked how Kara would make her best to be there for her, but that she was busy building her life and how alone and unimportant she felt for years.

She confessed then how she sometimes felt she was not loved by anyone.

Whatever happened after her confession is still lost to alcohol, but she remembers vividly pouring out her heart and how it lifted a weight off her chest.

She never thought Max would use her one weak moment to hurt her now.

“Be real Alex, the moment your precious Kara realizes how worthless you really are, she’ll cast you out again.”

“… She… She won’t ever do that.” The argument is weak even to her own ears.

Max smirks cruelly at her. “Keep telling yourself that, Lexie.”

“Are you giving us the money?” Siobhan interrupts again. She is frowning and her eyes keep darting between the two.

Alex shakes her head, her voice a distant echo in her own mind. “No.”

Max narrows his eyes. “Then leave. See if your so called sister keeps you for long.”

Alex doesn’t have a response to that, she turns on her heel and head out to meet Kara.

Kara was right. The company she kept is the worst kind.

XxXxX

The drive back home is quiet and gloomy.

Kara can feel the tension coming off Alex in waves. She didn’t ask when the girl came out after talking with her friends, and she won’t ask now, she knows Alex will tell her in time.

But she worries.

Alex has known those two since she entered Junior High and Kara was well aware of how those kinds of friendships can leave an impression behind.

She met James the same way, after all.

Kara knows she asked too much of Alex demanding she stop seeing them, but it looks like Alex will do just that either way. She knows she asked too much when she said Alex couldn’t bail them out too, but she honestly thinks this way is better.

“KayKay?”

“Mmm?” Kara hums as they wait at a red light. She registers at the back of her mind how Alex keeps calling her that. That’s a name she’s heard more times this past handful of days and in the last four years.

“Can we share a bath again?”

That’s something that’s been happening a lot too, recently. Usually, the only time she sees Alex in the bath is when the younger girl has had an accident. Now, she’s been asking for her to join her every day.

Not that she’ll complain, no. There’s something awfully calming about washing Alex, but it’s strange and concerning.

Another thing that worries her, though, is how Alex is wetting the bed on daily basis.

The younger girl used to have an accident once a month, at much. She hasn’t started drinking more liquids before bedtime, and she is sure her stress levels weren’t as high as to make her bladder misbehave… so she is at lost on why that is happening.

Still, a wet Alex is something she’s happy to deal with. She loves helping Alex out.

Just like sharing a bath is something she didn’t realize she’s been missing dearly.

“Sure thing, baby. We can add some bubbles if you want.”

“Yes, please.”

“Then we’ll get home and straight to the bath, okay? It’s nearing your bedtime.”

Alex sighs as the last light in their journey turns green. “Can I stay up a little longer?” she asks quietly.

“What day is today, Bubba?” Kara asks as the car rolls smoothly.

“… Thursday.”

“Is that a weekday?”

“… yes.”

“Then, no, baby. You can’t stay up.”

Alex sighs again and puts her feet up in the seat, hugging her legs to her chest.

“Put your feet down, please. I just washed the car.”

Alex grunts annoyed, but obeys.

“Good girl.”

Alex rests her head against her headrest, rolling it so she can look at Kara. “Can I sleep with you?”

“Sure,” Kara nods.

“… can you stay with me till I’m asleep?”

Kara blinks at that. Her own bedtime is later than Alex’s, and Alex hasn’t complained about it, yet. She, however, usually tucks Alex in before working some more. The nights she decides to sleep with Alex, she joins her around eleven, time Alex is usually passed out.

She’s not sure where this is all coming from.

“Of course.”

They are quiet until they reach their apartment complex. Parking the car in their spot is done quickly and soon they are heading to their building.

But Kara is a little worried still.

Alex is too quiet. Alex is too pliant. Alex has been holding her hand since they left the car. Alex is trying to walk almost pressed to her side.

“Baby,” Kara murmurs. “You’ll trip me.”

“’M sorry.”

But still, she keeps trying to be as close as possible to Kara, prompting the older girl to stumble as they near the lifts.

Alex’s breath catches at the sight and she’s quick to apologize. “Didn’t mean to!”

Kara, however, is barely listening to her. She’s more concerned on why Alex suddenly looks on the verge of crying.

“Oh, baby.” She doesn’t think it through. She gathers the girl in her arms, lifting her to her chest and prompting Alex’s legs to hug her middle.

And Alex doesn’t fight it. She hides her nose in the swell of Kara’s neck and inhales shakily.

“There, pretty girl,” Kara murmurs against her soft hair as she steps into the lift. “I’m here.”

Alex nods and fists the front of Kara’s shirt. “’M sorry.”

“Shh, s’okay, love. Everything is okay.”

Alex just trembles.

XxXxX

They are in the bath, warm water all around them, and Alex is still trembling.

It’s now past her bedtime, but Kara can’t make her go to bed when she’s this upset. The girl is trembling fiercely, and she keeps pressing to Kara’s chest. Kara’s caught her hands from scratching on her cheeks more than once and, no matter how tight her embrace is on the girl sitting on her lap, Alex can’t be consoled.

The worst part of it all, it’s that Alex isn’t even crying. She’s just upset and demanding attention and Kara, for the first time ever, cannot comfort her.

“Hey, Lexie,” Kara murmurs when the water starts to cool for the second time. “Let’s get out and into bed, mmm?”

Alex’s response comes in how she sneaks her arms around Kara’s middle and hugs her tight.

Kara sighs. “Please, Bubba. We’re turning into prunes.”

“No leave.”

Kara kisses the side of her head. “We’ll get into bed, love.”

Alex hugs her tighter.

“Okay,” Kara decides. “Come on. Up.” She pushes Alex a little from her torso.

Alex whimpers. “No.”

Kara cups Alex’s face in her hands and kisses her nose. “Get up for a moment, and once I have your towel, I’ll hold you again.”

It breaks Kara’s heart to see how Alex’s face crumbles at that. But, still, the girl slides to the other side of the tub and allows Kara to exit the now cold water.

“Be still, love,” Kara says in a whisper, taking a second to reach down to the young girl still in the water and caress her cheek. “Give me two minutes, Bubba, and I’ll be back.”

Alex finally starts crying at that. However, she makes no sound. She just curls up onto herself, hugging her legs to her chest while her trembling intensifies. She buries her face in her knees, clutching at her shins hard enough to leave marks behind.

Kara exhales heavily but stands all the same. She’ll dress as quickly as she can and then come fetch her girl.

So, Kara does just that. She hurries to her room to put on some pajamas and gathers her hair in a low ponytail. By the time she’s back at the bathroom, the tub is empty, there are wet footsteps around and Alex is nowhere to be seen.

“Alex?” Kara calls out, confused. She fetched the girl a fresh towel from the closet and she’s at loss of what happened.

Still, she follows the footprints to Alex’s bedroom’s door, which, for the first time since she moved in with her, is closed.

Now she’s not just concerned.

She’s starting to panic.

She knocks on the frame. “Alex? Love?”

There’s no answer from within.

“Alex?” she tried again, knocking with a little more force. “Are you okay?”

The silence stretches.

“Okay, baby. I’m opening the door now.”

And Kara does.

Or at least, tries.

Because, for the first time ever, Alex put the lock on.

“Baby? You’re worrying me.”

Scratch that. Kara is fully in panic mode.

“Alex?!”

She pounds on the wood.

“Alex! Open this door!”

She can hear the faintest whimper at the ruckus she’s making.

Good, at least Alex is, in fact, there.

That calms her down, just barely.

“I’m getting the key, Alex,” she announces. “Please open the door.”

When it’s obvious Alex is ignoring her, Kara dashes to the kitchen, where all the keys are stored. Finding the right one is easy, and in no time, she’s back to the closed door.

Opening the door is done in a heartbeat and by the next, Kara finds herself kneeling and looking at Alex’s shaking form under the bed.

“Oh, Alex,” Kara shuffles closer to the bed. She can see easily how Alex didn’t bother to dry off. “Please, love, come out.”

Alex simply shakes her head and curls even further onto herself. She’s still crying, but keeping quiet. There are tear tracks on her cheeks and her breathing is erratic, but she’s quiet. Too quiet.

Kara reaches under the bed with one hand, touching Alex’s foot.

Alex startles at the contact, uncurling frenetically and kicking Kara in the process. She also hits herself in the head with her jerking.

“Alex!” Kara exclaims, startled. The kick to the cheek smarts, yes, but she’s more concerned with how loud Alex’s own hit sounded.

And, Alex, for her part, looks at Kara with wide, scared eyes. “S-Sorry.”

Kara shakes her head. “I’m not hurt. Can you please come out?”

Alex shakes her head in return.

“Please, love. I need to see your head.”

“’M o-okay.”

“No, you are not, Alexandra. Come out. Now.” Kara tried the gentle approach and it didn’t work. She hopes that turning her tone stern she’d make the girl move.

Alex flinches, and yet another huge alarm starts beeping in Kara’s mind. At least it looks like Alex is finally listening.

“Alexandra.”

Alex sobs out, but, at last, crawls from under her bed and approaches Kara.

Kara is still holding onto the towel and as soon as Alex is near, she’s surrounding her with it. She pats her gently to dry her and once she’s done, she gathers her into her arms, bundling her up into the towel, almost like a burrito.

Alex never stops crying through it all.

Kara lifts them both onto the bed, cradling Alex to her chest and rocking them from back and forth, back and forth. “Easy, love,” she murmurs as she plants a kiss to the girl’s forehead. “You’re okay. I’m here.”

Alex’s hand sneaks to her top, clutching onto the fabric.

Kara’s one had combs through the damp hair at the base of Alex’s skull and the other rests naturally on the swell of Alex’s hip. It’s unconscious when her hand starts a slow tapping against Alex’s butt.

The moment the patting starts, Alex’s tears start to reduce. She noses Kara’s top and her free hand comes to rest against her own cheek, where she scratches.

“Baby,” Kara scold quietly. “Don’t scratch.”

Alex whimpers, but her hand drifts lower, to her mouth, where she rests her fingers against her lips.

Kara buries her nose on Alex’s hair, hunching over Alex almost completely and surrounding her with her whole presences. She keeps with the rocking and the patting and the soft murmurs of reassurance.

It takes an hour, but Alex falls asleep to Kara’s warmth and soft voice.

And Kara, on her part, keeps up all night, watching over Alex’s restless slumber.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the continuous support!!!
> 
> Let's see what's happening with our favorite two, yes?

The week following Alex’s breakdown is uneasy.

The younger girl refuses to leave Kara’s side at all. Wherever Kara goes, so does Alex.

It’s a blessing that they were never shy around each other.

The only time Kara draws the line is when she needs the bathroom, and even then, Alex waits outside, sitting by the door, for her to finish.

Alex also keeps quiet unless asked a direct question.

James came by to do another colab on the weekend and Alex had stayed put and quiet the whole time. It freaked out James and concerned Kara greatly. They asked Alex to colab with them, but the girl refused.

Bath time has gotten difficult too. Alex refuses to even go near the bathtub if Kara isn’t already in and showers are out of the question. Dressing Alex for the day is now the new common and it’s a statement on how out of it is Alex, that she never protests when Kara dresses her in pinks and soft yellows.

(Sue her, but Kara is trying all the tricks in her book to jolt Alex out her funk, not that the change of wardrobe is working.)

Bedtime too has gotten out of control.

Alex refuses to lie down if Kara isn’t with her, and she’ll wake up not half an hour later if Kara leaves her after she falls asleep. She’ll wander around their apartment until she finds Kara and then she’ll refuse to sleep unless Kara gets in bed too.

Which presents a problem, because Alex keeps wetting the bed nightly.

Kara has gotten used to wake up wet in the middle of the night, Alex passed out next to her. Her new routine involves going to sleep in Alex’s bed, both of them just wearing boxers, and then waking up to their bed soaked. She’ll then wake Alex up too and they’ll have a quick bath to clean off the yuck. They’ll go into Kara’s bed after donning pajamas and keep sleeping until morning.

Kara hasn’t been this exhausted ever. Not even when she was juggling her barista job, her job at the club, the beginning of her YouTube channel and trying to earn enough to pay for rent, has she been this tired.

She needs help, but she doesn’t know where to find it.

XxXxX

Alex’s phone buzzes for the second time in a row.

Kara eyes it from her place at the couch. Alex is currently resting her feet on her lap and she’s fast asleep. The interrupted nights are taking their toll on her too, so she’s taken to napping through the day.

This leaves Kara in a predicament, because she wants Alex to rest, but she also can’t do anything other than be with Alex if she wants the girl to sleep more than fifteen minutes.

It’s really bothersome. She could be doing laundry or editing at the moment. She has to content herself with keeping and eye on her Instagram, Twitter and TicTok. She needs to keep the fans invested.

Their channels will resent the lack of uploads and then, their banks account will suffer too.

The phone starts buzzing again, the kind of buzzing that lets Kara know this time someone’s calling her little sister.

Alex murmur in her sleep.

Kara can either answer that, or let it ring. It’s a miracle the thing has any battery at all.

Truth to be told, it’s been days since she last seen Alex use the device.

For all that Kara knows, Alex’s fans think she’s dead already. Maybe they think she did a difficult course and perished mid jump…

… she’s well aware that there are some of her own fans that are already asking after Alex’s health.

That’s what happens when you are overly active in social media.

The phone starts buzzing again, and, well, Kara is curious and a little bored at the moment, so she picks up.

 _“Thank fuck you answer,”_ the voice on the other end sounds annoyed. _“Where the hell have you been? I’ve texted like a million times, asshole. Siob told me what Max said and, damn, are you okay? I know you pretend to be this thought chick, but you are not. But that’s not why I’m calling. Why the hell didn’t you pay? Max will make your life a living hell once he’s out and you know that. Remember what happened to Barry. Did you fall and bump your head? We knew parkour was risky, but I didn’t think you’d become dumber for it. The hell, Alex?”_

Kara blinks for a moment, trying to process all that. “Hi, Lucy,” she manages in the end.

Lucy inhales sharply from the other end. _“Miss Zorel… I’m so sorry, I didn’t know it was you.”_

Kara hums. “I can see that, Lucy. It’s okay. And I’ve told you before, call me Kara.” Out of Alex’s three friends, Lucy is the most down to earth and the one Kara thinks has the best moral compass. Sure, she gets roped into stupid stunts just like Alex, but she is not an instigator like the other two.

_“I’m still sorry, ma’am.”_

“It’s okay, Lucy. However, what did you mean with what Max told Alex?” Kara inquires as she looks down at the curled girl in the couch.

_“… uh…”_

“Please, Lucy.” Kara sighs. “Alex hasn’t been herself. Please, tell me. I might help.”

Kara can hear the hesitation on the other end. However, Lucy proves she’s a smart cookie when she pours it out:

_“Alex got drunk a few months ago, really drunk… I think it was around the time she was to move in with you… She told us that she was really hyped because she got to be with you again and that weird us out. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve known you since we’ve known Alex and we know you’re a good person, but, the way Alex spoke of if all was… well, off. We thought that she was high, to be honest, but then she explained that you abandoned her and that she thought she wasn’t wanted ever since… but then, you asked her to move in together and she was really excited and happy and she said that there were days she wanted to jump real high because she felt like flying away with how happy she was… Honest, she sounded crazy. It scared us a little…._

_“Siobhan told me that Max dig into that when Alex went to see them. According to Siob, Max made some comments about how Alex is not good enough for you and that Alex got really upset over it. I’ve tried asking Alex, but this is the first time someone answers her phone…_

_“I’m sorry, Miss Zorel. We all know Max’s a douche, but I didn’t think he’d be an asshole to Alex too. Whatever happens between you two, should stay that way. The asshole had no right to bring it up.”_

“Language, Lucy,” Kara can’t help but scold without heat, too consumed with the information she’s been given.

Alex has kept all this for over a week now.

Why didn’t she tell Kara what Max did?

Why didn’t she tell Kara how she felt?

_“Sorry, ma’am.”_

“Thank you for telling me, Lucy” she says in a murmur. She had much to think and so much to talk with Alex. “I’ll let her know you called, okay?”

_“… Please. Have a nice day, ma’am.”_

“You too, Lucy. Thank you.”

The girl disconnects the call and Kara is left looking at Alex’s still sleeping form.

“What’s going on in that mind of yours, Bubba?” Kara asks to the air.

Alex’s answer comes in the form of a little snore.

And Kara smiles sadly. Whatever it’s bothering Alex, they can work through it. They’ve overcome worse things.

XxXxX

“Hey, baby,” Kara says softly as she plays her fingers along Alex’s brow.

They are both cuddled up in bed, getting ready for Alex to fall asleep. Kara waited up until now to talk to her sister, knowing that this set up is going to be the best to keep Alex the calmest. She could’ve tried at bath time, but she didn’t want a repeat from last time.

Alex still has the bump from that day.

“Mmm?”

Kara cuddles the girl closer to her, tangling their legs together and prompting Alex’s head to rest on her chest. “Lucy called,” she begins. “We had a nice chat.”

“… Cool.”

“Yes. She’s worried. You haven’t answered her texts.” Alex shrugs at that. “She also told me what happened with Max.”

Alex tenses and Kara knows Lucy was right to worry.

“Can you tell me what he said?”

Alex turns to bury her face in Kara’s chest. “Nothing,” she mumbles against her breast.

Kara starts playing with the baby hairs at Alex’s nape. “Mmm. I think he said some nasty stuff, honey,” she comments lightly. “Can you share with me?”

Kara is doing her best to keep her heart from hammering. The last thing she needs it’s for Alex to pick on her own anxiety and close up completely. But it’s hard.

She spent the day thinking over Lucy’s words and, while she knows Alex still resents her for leaving her behind, she didn’t think it runs so deep.

When Alex moved in, she expected some heat from the fiery girl, but that never came, and she buried it in the list of endless things she doesn’t like to think about. She can see that was a huge mistake on her part.

“He said nothing,” Alex repeats a little louder, and a little harsher.

“Hey, no,” Kara scolds her gently. “Drop the attitude. I need to know what he said.”

Alex shakes her head and buries closer to her.

“Alex, please.”

“No.”

“Alex… be my good girl and tell me what’s wrong. Tell me so I can fix it.”

Alex looks up at that. Her eyes are glassy and Kara’s heart goes out for her. She’s seen Alex cry more these past days than she has in years. “…Kara?”

“Yes?”

Will Alex tell her?

“You won’t ever leave me, right?” Alex’s voice is so tiny and quiet, it takes a moment for Kara to register the question.

When it does, her heart shatters.

Kara exhales shakily. So, it’s true then. Alex still thinks she’s going to disappear from her life again. She gets it… she does.

If their roles were reversed, Kara too would fear Alex leaving her behind.

It hurts, knowing Alex doesn’t believe in her anymore… but, has she even made the effort to reassure Alex?

No. She hasn’t.

This is all Kara’s fault.

Kara hugs Alex with her whole body, trying to convey how serious she is. “No, baby, no. I’ll never leave you.”

Alex sniffs against her neck. “… but you already did…”

Kara sniffs back. This topic isn’t a nice one and the guilt she’s feeling is crushing her. “Yes, I did.” She knows better than to you try and justify herself. She knows she fucked up.

She had no choice. Once she turned eighteen their foster parents sent her packing and she had to survive on her own. She had no choice on leaving… but she had a choice on how she left.

Kara was told on her seventeen birthday that she was going to be leaving the house as soon as she turned eighteen, and she never told Alex.

One day Kara was sleeping on the bed across from her and the next, all her things were packed and she was gone.

Kara didn’t wait for Alex to come back from school before leaving.

Kara didn’t say goodbye.

Kara then showed up a week later, once she was installed with James, and met Alex outside her school. She walked her home and they acted like nothing had changed. Alex invited her in and Kara had gone to their bedroom. That’s the day she discovered another girl, a girl named Susan, living in what used to be her space.

When the time came to leave for her own apartment, Alex had hugged her goodbye and that was it.

The next time Kara showed up at Alex’s school was three days after, and since then, she tried to spend at least two days with Alex.

Of course, she knew she hurt her, Kara’s not dumb… but the slight coldness that Alex showed her those first weeks melted with time, and her Alex, the energetic one, the reckless one, the smiley one, came back and everything was like always.

Kara thought for the longest of times, hell she thought up until Lucy told her, that Alex resented her but that her resentment was fueled by anger and indignation. God, at some point she was so proud that Alex didn’t feed that resentment…

But now, now she can see that what Alex felt was not anger… no, she felt pain. And she didn’t resent her… she felt abandoned.

“Alex…” Kara murmurs against the girl’s temple. She lets her tears fall, and she feels Alex’s staining her skin. “My precious Alex… what I did… I have no right to ask for forgiveness… I-I hurt you.”

Alex wiggles enough to be able to see Kara’s eyes. “Kay…”

Kara presses her lips against Alex’s forehead. “I swear to you, Alexandra Lee, that I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you. Showing you how much I care. You are the most precious thing that ever happened to me and I hurt you. I swear I won’t do it again.”

“… Kara…”

“I love you so, so, so, much. And it might take a while, but I’ll show you, Alex. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll never leave you behind.”

“… okay…” Alex’s brows are furrowed and Kara kisses between them.

She knows Alex doesn’t believe her. At least not yet.

But, Kara’s young. She has a whole life to change that.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and the support!!!
> 
> I'm still open to ideas, if you'd like to share some :)

After a week coped inside due Alex’s clinginess, the inevitable happens…

They run out of groceries.

“Put on some pants, Alex,” Kara says as she closes the pantry door, after realizing that, yes, they are indeed out of food.

“Why?” Alex asks from her spot on the floor, not looking away from her tablet.

Kara hums, she bets Alex is once again binge-watching drawing videos. Alex has taken to watch crafts and arts YouTubers and Kara had to admit seeing Alex, flopped on her belly and with her feet kicking in the air, is really cute.

Maybe she’ll convince Alex to try some of those crafts one of these days. Alex could do them while she works some and they’ll be able to share the space easily.

After their chat the other night, and some changes on Kara’s part, Alex doesn’t need to be glued to her side all the time, allowing her to record and edit. Being in the same room is enough for her at the moment.

Apparently, her reassurances have worked, if even a little.

“We’re going grocery shopping.”

Alex looks up at that. She scrunches up her nose. Grocery shopping isn’t her favorite activity. “Do we hafta?”

Kara raises an eyebrow. “If you want to have dinner tonight, yes.”

“Can’t we order in?”

“No, Alex. We had Chinese yesterday. I don’t want you to grow up on the stuff.”

“You used to have takeout all the time when you first moved out.”

“Do as I say, Alex, not as I do.”

Alex snorts at that, which, considering her whole mood during the past days, is a huge improvement. “You sound like an old lady.”

“I’m an old lady. An old lady in dire need of food. Please, get dressed.” She points to the younger girl. “You are not going out like that”. Alex is in just a pair of boxers and a spaghetti top, not the kind of clothes she thinks are public friendly.

Alex pouts, but gets up. “Come with?” she asks, as she motions to her room.

Kara shakes her head. “I’ll make a quick list here. Go change.”

Alex’s eyes dart from one side to the other and Kara can see bites her lips in thought.

“Go, baby,” Kara encourages. “I’ll be here.”

“… Okay,” Alex mumbles and she trots to her room.

Kara sighs as she makes a quick inventory of what they have and what they need. She’s pretty sure they are running low on bubble bath and Alex’s shampoo… and maybe also laundry soap.

Alex’s sheets have been washed more this past week than all the time they’ve been living together.

“Hey, Alex!” Kara calls out.

“What?”

“I’m gonna be in the laundry room!”

“Okay!”

Kara smiles at the chipper tone she’s answers with. Things are looking up and she believes that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. She’s being doing a lot of small things like this one, like letting Alex know she’s moving rooms, and it shows with how Alex’s clinginess is lessening.

Kara is also trying to always touch Alex, whenever she’s not busy recording or cooking. Even when she’s busy with her hands, she always makes sure some part of her is in contact with Alex.

“KayKay?”

Alex comes into the laundry room, skidding on her socks.

Kara looks from where she’s trying to find if they still have that extra bottle of softener and has to blink, slowly.

Once.

Twice.

“Lexie,” she starts with the same caution she used once on a spooked puppy. “What the heck are you wearing?”

Alex frowns at that. She looks down at herself, confused. “What?”

Kara sighs.

Go figure Kara needs to start dressing Alex now. “Love… your shirt is inside out, those pants are mine and your socks mismatch.”

Alex looks down at herself again. She shrugs. “I’m wearing clothes. You told me to wear clothes.”

“I told you to change, Alex, not to put on the very first thing you found.”

Alex pouts.

“Come here, menace,” Kara motions to Alex and she goes willingly.

Kara quickly turns Alex’s shirt the right side and makes her strip of her pants. “Let’s find one of your own, okay?” she asks as she takes Alex’s hand and pulls her to Alex’s bedroom.

“Okay! Can we look for my cargo pants?”

“Sure, love.”

“So,” Kara asks as she makes sure Alex’s zipper is up and the button is done. She can’t believe they found those cargo pants under the bed. “What did you want to tell me?”

“Uh?”

“When you found me in the laundry room, Bubba.”

“Oh!” Alex leans on Kara’s frame, prompting the older girl to hug her. “Can we record today? It’s nice outside.”

“You want to do a course today?”

“Yep. Can we?”

Kara looks out Alex’s window. It’s sunny and bright. Alex has a point. It’s been almost two weeks since something has been uploaded in her main. “Sure thing. How about we record, have an early diner and we save the groceries for last?”

“… How about we record, have an early diner and come back to watch a movie?”

Kara chuckles. “Baby… we need to get groceries, no matter what.”

Alex’s pout is back. “But shopping is boriiiiing,” she whines.

Kara bops her nose. “Then I can bring you here after recording and I’ll do the shopping.”

Alex’s eyes widen at that. “No! I’ll come!”

Kara chuckles softly. “Okay, then.” She hugs Alex tighter and drop a kiss at the top of her head. “Love you.”

Alex hugs her back with force. “Love cha, too.”

XxXxX

“You are disgusting.”

Alex snickers at that and presses herself closer to Kara.

“I mean it, Alex. You are all sweaty and smelly.”

Alex just rubs her sticky cheek against Kara’s side, dampening Kara’s blouse a little.

Looking back, Alex recording her parkour video before they did anything else was a bad idea. The day is as sunny and hot as any other day in National City’s summer, meaning that Alex got drenched the moment she started jumping and running around.

Two hours later, once all the shots Alex wants are done and the battery on the GoPro is spent, Alex is drenched.

And smiling.

And laughing.

So, Kara hugs her tight. “Had fun, uh, love?”

“Yes!”

“Come on, let go home.”

Alex pouts. “Weren’t we eating out?”

“You’re all sweaty, baby. Don’t you want to change?” They have things to do, but she knows Alex going around in that state will come and bite them in the butt.

Alex’s pout deepens and she latches onto Kara’s arm. “… I’m hungry. Pwease.”

Kara’s heart skips a beat hearing that last word. How long has it been since she last heard Alex plea like that? Was she seven? Eight?

“KayKay, pwease…”

Kara sighs. That plea and those bid eyes and that trembling lip… Kara really thought she grew immune to Alex’s puppy dog eyes. “Fine,” she concedes.

“Yesh!”

“But,” she continues before Alex can get too excited. “We won’t eat where there’s air condition. I don’t want you to get sick.”

Alex nods happily. “We can have In-N-Out and eat outside!”

Kara smiles, taking Alex’s hand in hers and walking towards their car. “Sure, baby.”

“Oh! We can have Chick-A-Fill too! And Taco Bell!”

“Choose one, Alex. We can’t have the three.”

“I sure can!”

Kara laughs. “No, Alex.”

“I bet you I can!”

“Bet or no bet,” Kara comments as she unlocks the car and helps Alex in the passenger seat. “You are not having the three.”

“Why not?”

“Because I say so.” Kara’s words are final and she closes the door, before she moves to the driver seat and gets the car going.

“KayKay…”

“No, Alex. Choose one.”

“But I want them all…” Alex’s voice is small and Kara looks briefly from the road to see how the girl is rubbing her eye.

Kara has to use all her willpower to repress the ‘aww’ that’s threatening to come out. “Tell you what,” she says with a smile. “Choose one for today and we can have the others next week. On different days.”

“Promise?”

“Pinky promise,” Kara tells her seriously, presenting the girl her pinky.

“Wanna Chick-A-Fill.” Once Alex has interlaced their pinkies together, she doesn’t let them come undone, forcing Kara to make all the gear changes with their combined hands.

“Chick-A-Fill is it.”

XxXxX

Alex sneezes.

Kara sighs.

She knew letting Alex run around covered in sweat was a bad idea.

Too late now.

They are in the middle of their grocery shopping and Alex is still hyped after diner, so the trip is going smoothly.

Alex sneezes again.

Well, as smoothly as it can with Alex sneezing minute in and minute out.

“Hey, baby,” Kara comments as they near the freezers zone. “How about you go fetch the bubble bath and your shampoo and we meet by the lines?”

Alex scrunches up her nose. “No.”

“Please, Alex, it’s too cold in here.”

Alex looks around and maybe she’s feeling the cold, but she nods slowly. “Promise you’ll be there?”

“Of course, baby. And, if anything happens you have your phone, right?”

Alex’s hand comes into her pant’s pocket and she nods, and Kara knows she’s making sure she brought the device with her. “Yep.”

“Then, shoo. Go for your stuff and go straight to checkout. Go it?”

“Yep.” Alex walks away and Kara speeds to get everything they need from this section, so she doesn’t make Alex wait more than necessary. The fact that Alex willingly left her side is amazing and a huge milestone, so she needs to make sure it doesn’t backfire.

Once all the things they need are in the cart, she speeds towards the lines, knowing that Alex is already there, queuing.

But, once she rounds the corner, she can see that Alex is, indeed, not there.

“Alex?” Kara calls, just in case she’s missing her among the people.

No one answers.

Okay, fine. Alex is still getting the bubble bath and the shampoo, which are on the other side of the store, and she’s on her way to meet Kara.

She parks to the side to wait.

Everything is fine.

…

When ten minutes have passed, Kara knows that things are not fine.

She calls Alex. It rings for half a minute before going to voice mail.

Damn.

She has two options. Either wait until Alex is done wherever she is, or go look for her.

She’s moving before she can think twice.

Looking into the bath products aisle proves to be useless. Apart from a young woman and her kid, the place is empty.

She tries the shampoo and conditioner aisle next, which, again, is devoid of Alex.

“Okay, Kara,” she murmurs to herself. “Don’t panic.”

She calls Alex again.

It rings for half a minute before going to voice mail.

“Damnit.”

She pushes the cart around the area, hopping to see if her sister chose another path to meet her.

She goes back to the queues to see if Alex is there.

She is not.

She can’t find her anywhere.

“Okay, think… if you were Alex… where would you be?”

Kara decides that its time to go around the whole store. Alex must be somewhere.

She also decides to ignore that little voice in the back of her head that’s telling her that Alex might not be in the store anymore.

She rounds around the cold meats, then the veggies, then the frozen products again, then, she zooms past the sodas and chips – Alex knows better than to try and buy those – and its on her way across the toys’ area, heading towards the bath aisle to check it again, when she sees her.

“Alexandra!”

Alex jumps at her name, the box of Lego that was in her hands hitting the floor. She looks scared for a moment, but then she’s all smiles. “KayKay!”

It’s been a while since Kara has felt like she’s about to pass out from relief. Last time was when Alex chickened out from jumping from fifteen feet into the water for a stupid dare.

“Come see!”

Kara’s relief is soon turned to anger.

She marches to where Alex’s picked the Lego up again and is waving it to her. In a swift motion, she’s turning Alex around and delivering two solid smacks to her behind.

Alex’s breath catches and tears forming in her eyes the moment Kara has turned her around to face her.

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again!” Kara’s tone is low but stern, making Alex’s tears to fall.

“K-Kay…?”

Kara hugs her tight to her chest, trapping the stupid Lego box between them. “I told you to come back as soon as you got your stuff. You didn’t answer your phone.”

Alex lets the box fall to the ground again. She clutches at Kara’s blouse with both hands.

“You scared me,” Kara murmurs into Alex’s hair. It’s still a little damp. “Please don’t do that ever again.”

Alex nods against her collarbone. “’M sorry.”

Kara’s tense shoulders relax. “Why didn’t you come?”

Alex uses one hand to point at the sign that Kara can now see, is advertising a sale in the toy’s department.

“… Alex…”

“’M sorry.”

Kara shakes her head. “You didn’t get the bubbles and shampoo, did you?”

“… no…”

Kara releases the younger girl and takes her hand. “Come, then,” she orders gently.

Alex starts following, before something important crosses her mind. “Kara.” She tugs at the hand pulling her. With the other, she motions at the box in the floor. “My Lego.”

Kara’s glare lacks heat, but Alex shrinks a little when its directed at her. “You didn’t obey me, Alex, and you worried me sick. You are not taking any toy home with you.”

“But-”

“The only butt I see in my future is yours being tanned if you complete that sentence.”

Alex’s mouth clicks shut.

“Good girl. Now, come.”

Alex’s lower lip juts out, but she obeys. She shuffles along Kara as they go back to the bath area to get the things they need. She even goes as far as holding the side of the cart as she used to when she was a kid.

Kara doesn’t question it. She just needs to see Alex besides her.

And to think Alex’s clinginess had been a problem… distract the girl with toys and she’d-

Wait.

Distract the girl with toys and she’d forget all about her insecurities.

It’s a long shot, but it’s one Kara is willing to take.

Not today, though. She already told Alex she’s not getting toys and she won’t be going back to her word.

“Which one would you like?”

Alex looks at the bubble bath selection and shrugs. “Don’t care.” Her lip is still out and she’s frowning a little. She’s started rubbing at her eye again and the crankiness that Kara has come to relate with her sleepy sister is starting to show.

They still aren’t getting full nights of sleep and with recording Alex missed her usual nap.

“Drop the attitude, Alex,” Kara commands gently. “Now, choose one. Or you rather I do?”

Alex points to Kara and Kara nods.

Everybody knows lavender is supposed to be relaxing, so after seconds of deliberation, Kara chooses a lavender kid-oriented, bottle of bubble bath. It has Anna on the front, so she’s surprised when Alex sees it go into the cart and keep quiet. Usually, Alex would’ve thrown a fit over having ‘baby products’.

After that, Kara leads them to get shampoo, and this time her eyebrows rise high when Alex is the one choosing a bottle with Elsa on the front.

Seeing Kara’s shocked face, Alex shrugs again. “They match.”

Kara blinks slowly at that. “You want the conditioner too?” she chooses to ask in lieu of a coherent comment.

And she’s surprised again when Alex indeed puts the matching conditioner in the cart.

“Okay, then,” Kara chirps, because she’s way too confused right now. “Are we missing anything?”

Alex’s hand disappears down her back pocket, where their list is and reads it over quickly. She nods her head solemnly.

“What?”

“My Lego.”

Kara should’ve seen that one coming.

“Come on, Alex. Let me see if they carry my eye drops and then we’ll go home.”

Alex’s whimper is better suited for tiny mouse and her pout for a kitten demanding adoption. “Pwease?”

Kara bops Alex’s nose. “Show me you can behave until the weekend and I’ll take you to Tom’s Toys on Sunday.”

Alex’s eyes widen and her pout turns into a grin. “Really?!”

“Depends on how you behave.” Kara is not telling her that she’s been contemplating getting Alex something to distract her. Better it be something she earned than something Kara gives her out of the blue.

Alex nods. “I’ll be good.”

“You are always good, Alex. You just sometimes forget that little fact.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I uploaded later than usual.
> 
> Life got hard today.
> 
> Please enjoy.

Kara looks at the item in her hand and bites her lip as she’s seen Alex do many times.

This purchase was a secret, last minute one, made while Alex was busy going through Tom’s Toys’ website. Kara had intended to buy some eye drops, but when she noticed the package, an idea occurred to her and any drops were forgotten.

Alex had been so busy with her phone looking at Lego sets, that she never saw the pink package go into the cart, or them being purchased, or them being carried to the car.

Kara feels she did something really wrong buying them behind Alex’s back, but it’s been over two weeks and maybe it’s time to address the problem they face every night.

“Kara!” Alex calls from the bathroom.

“Coming!”

Alex is having her bath alone today, for the sole reason that she was indeed too sticky to wait a moment longer and because Kara needed to put the groceries – and her secret purchase – away.

That doesn’t mean that Alex would let Kara skip on her hair-washing duties.

Kara blinks owlishly when she sees the tub. “What happened?”

Alex smiles wide when Kara comes into the bathroom. She emptied the old bubbles’ bottle in the tub and the amount of bubbles it’s something that needs to be bragged about. “See!” she exclaims happily. “I made a castle!”

Kara snorts. The only thing she can see is a mountain of bubbles and Alex wearing bubbles beard and hair. “It’s an impressive, castle, Bubba.”

“I know! It’s like Elsa’s.”

Kara kneels by the tub. “Oh? And did you also make a little Elsa and a little Anna?”

Alex shakes her head. “Tried, but they kept popping.”

Kara laughs at the pout the girl is sporting. “Poor them. Ready to wash your hair?”

“Yep!”

Kara works silently, enjoying the way the new shampoo smells as she massages Alex’s scalp. Alex’s old shampoo was fresh and citrusy, this one, meant for children, is floral and light.

Somehow, Kara thinks it suits Alex better.

The new conditioner smells the same and Kara is looking forward to burry her nose into Alex’s soft hair tonight.

If Alex allows her to sleep with her, that’s it.

The moment she brings up what she’s planning, Alex might move out back with their foster parents.

“Come on, my little builder, it’s time to get out.”

“KayKay, come inside.”

Kara smiles and drops a peck to Alex’s pout. “No. Up.”

Alex groans, but follows Kara up, letting her rinse her with the handheld shower and wrap her in a fluffy towel.

“Movie?” Alex asks the moment Kara putting her down in her room to help her change.

Now…

Now is the moment she’s gonna be slapped and yelled at.

“Alex,” Kara tone is serious enough that the younger girl instantly stand to attention. “We need to talk.”

Alex frowns. “I’ve been good.” Her eyes widen and she gasps. “I’m sorry I wandered off! I won’t do it again! I promise!”

Kara smiles sadly at how vehement she’s being. She brushes the hair out her eyes.

Maybe it’s time for a haircut…

“No, honey, you’re not in trouble.” She kisses between her eyebrows. “But I might be.”

“Kara?”

Kara sighs and reaches into the closet, where she storage the package.

The moment Alex sees what she’s taking out, she glares. “No.”

“… Alex-”

“No fucking way, Kara.”

“Just liste-”

“I’m not a baby!” Alex yells as she tugs the towel tighter around herself, as if the thing would protect her from the object in Kara’s hand.

“I know you’re not, love, but we deserve a good night of sleep. Don’t you think?”

“I don’t need no diaper, Kara!”

Kara shakes her head. “It’s not a diaper, love, it’s a pull-up.”

Alex glares at her. “It’s the same damn shit!”

“Language, Alex.”

“No!” Alex takes a step back. “Do not scold me with that- that- that thing in your hand.”

“It’s a pull-up. It will help.”

“No, Kara! I don’t need it!”

“Baby, let’s be real. It’s been, what, three weeks since you had an accident free night?”

Alex stomps her foot. “I don’t need it.”

Kara exhales heavily. “Okay,” she says easily. “Explain to me why you don’t.”

“Because I’m not a baby!”

“Again, no, you’re not. And that’s no explanation enough.”

“It is. I won’t use something I don’t need. Something I don’t want.”

“But you need protection at night. Alex, you can see that.”

Alex’s lower lip trembles and she rubs at her eye with one fist, while the other keeps the towel close to her chest. “Nooooo…”

Kara takes a step forward, pull-up in hand. Alex takes a step and bumps on her bed, which makes her take an unplanned seat.

“Alex-”

“Out.” Alex whimpers.

“What?”

“Get out,” Alex repeats with tears in her eyes.

Kara tries to get closer to the upset girl, but before she can take another step, Alex bursts into tears.

“Get out!” She sobs full out.

Kara bites her lip. She knew something like this might happen, so she doesn’t have the right to be offended. She’s just, really, really concerned.

Kara was waiting for Alex to get spitting mad, not upset over it.

“Get! Out!” Alex screams to the top of her lungs.

And Kara, not knowing what to do, nods. “Okay, okay.” She walks backwards, slowly. “Please, Alex, if yo-”

“Get out!”

And Kara’s own tears fall while she closes the door behind her.

XxXxX

How could she?

After everything… after all the tears, and the pain, and the constant fear… Kara had to ruin it.

Alex hugs her legs to her chest.

The moment Kara closed that door, Alex had wasted no time in curling up under the bed to keep crying.

Under the bed she can hide from all and everything. Maybe if she presses enough to the wall, if she keeps to the darkness… Maybe the pain won’t reach her.

But, she’s being delusional.

She knows that the only thing she’ll hide from is Kara’s presence. Any pain and hurt has already found her and it’s there to stay.

She shivers.

She’s cold.

She’s itchy.

She’s lonely.

She wants Kara.

But… how long since Kara decides she’s not worth it?

She’s stupid.

Stupid.

Stupid.

Stupid.

Stupid.

Stupid.

Kara is tired of her already.

It only took seven months for Kara to get tired of her.

Damn it.

She knew it.

She knew!

Stealing was something she started doing out of necessity.

She’s always been a problem child and she was always being punished because of it.

Damn it!

She had sixteen years to change and she’s still the same dumb, reckless, stupid kid…

Kara once said that stealing food was okay… but that was the week Alex had to go without because Alex, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid Alex set the shed on fire and Kara’s money wasn’t enough.

Kara once said that stealing money was okay… but that was the time Kara was sick and couldn’t get medicine because stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid Alex got stuck into a freezer at the supermarket and had a cold and got Kara sick too.

Kara once said that stealing school supplies was okay… but that was the time when Ms. Henshaw threw Alex’s school bag into the sewers because Alex sneaked a kitten in the house and Kara and James had been just kicked out their one bedroom apartment…

Kara always tried to make her behave so they didn’t suffer, because whatever Alex did, Kara always took the blame or did everything in her power to protect her…

…

Alex laughs tiredly. It’s a marvel Kara lasted this long putting up with her.

Hell. Alex was so sure she had pushed Kara away when she was ten.

Alex shivers and pulls the towel tighter around her.

Kara left their foster home when Alex was ten and…

Sometimes, in her darkest nights, she can feel that phantom pain squeezing around her neck.

Alex gulps.

She can feel it now.

Kara never knew about the cutter that she used to hide under her pillow and that’s a secret she’ll take to the grave…

… maybe if she knots the sheets she-

Alex slaps herself.

Once.

Stop.

Twice.

Stop thinking about it.

She scratches at her shins.

She’s a mess.

She’s so stupid.

Of course Kara is ready to cast her away.

… she’s tired of taking care of her at nights so she brought the- the pull-ups.

Alex hits the wall with the back of her head.

Stupid, stupid, stupid Alex.

She knows she has to wake at least twice during the night in order to avoid accidents. Problem is, every time she falls asleep with Kara, or every time she’s too tired, she can’t wake up. It’s like, whenever Kara’s around, she knows she’s safe and she can’t help but fall in deep sleep.

Well, there’s a solution.

No sleeping with Kara.

… But Kara likes sleeping with Alex.

Kara thinks she hasn’t noticed, but Alex is aware of how Kara’s own sleep is deeper, how she likes to smell her hair after her bath, how she loves the way Alex cuddles into her chest as they slowly drift off…

But Kara did those things too, before she left her at-

Alex scratches at her cheek.

Stop it.

Stop it.

Stop it.

Alex sobs out.

It hurts.

She scratches at her chest.

It hurts too much.

Her door creaks open.

Alex’s breath hitches and she muffles her sounds with one hand.

“Alex? Baby?” Kara’s voice is soft and gentle.

Alex bites onto her palm to keep quiet.

Kara’s feet come into view and Alex tries to press herself further under the bed.

“Alex… It’s three a.m., would you come out? Please?”

Alex’s vision blurs with her tears.

Kara’s toes curl on the floor and there’s a moment of silence. Kara is then lowering one of her sport bottles onto the floor. It’s filled with cold water and Alex feels like crying harder at how Kara is still looking out for her.

“Alex… I’m leaving your door open,” Kara announces. “I’m leaving my door open. When you’re ready to come out, please come to bed?”

Alex chokes in her tears.

“… I’ll be up, okay? Just… I’m sorry, Alex. I didn’t mean to upset you. Please come to bed.”

Kara’s feet recede and Alex is left alone. The light from the hall falls over half the space under her bed and half her darkness is gone.

But, also, half her sadness is gone.

Kara always does that.

Alex rubs at her cheek. It stings from both the slapping and her scratching.

Kara came look for her.

That means something good, right?

She eyes the sport bottle. It has little Mickey’s all around. It had been a gift from Kara, back when she first started with the parkour.

Maybe Kara still has some hope for her?

She crawls from under the bed, ditching her towel in the process.

Kara said it’s bedtime…

… but bedtime mean Kara getting her ready for bed.

Will Kara still want to help her?

She looks at the pull-up on the bed, thrown carelessly among her pajamas.

Will Kara still want to help if she decides not to use it?

Does Alex even care if she uses it?

She rubs the back of her head. It aches from where she hit the wall.

Alex looks around.

She’s lost.

She doesn’t know what to do.

She blinks and the last of her tears roll down her cheeks. Her left cheek stings.

She needs help.

“Kay?” she calls out in a whisper.

The apartment is quiet.

Maybe Kara is asleep…

… but she said she was staying up.

“KayKay?” she calls a bit louder.

She hears some shuffling form outside her door.

She sniffs.

“Kay?!” she calls as loud as she can muster.

Kara comes running.

“What’s wrong?!” She stops just inside the door. Her eyes roam over Alex’s naked form. “Alex?”

Alex knows Kara’s looking at the scratches on her shins and cheek. She bites her lip and looks away.

“Alex?” Kara takes a step towards her. “Baby?”

Alex’s mind is hazy. She feels adrift. Almost, as if she’d drank too much… like that one time she smoked Siob’s weed, before she got too sick to enjoy the feeling.

Alex’s hand goes to her cheek again, ready to scratch to see if that’ll help her focus.

“No, honey.” Her hand is grabbed in Kara’s bigger one and she blinks. “Don’t scratch, baby.”

Kara’s other hand cups her cheek and her thumb brushes on the red lines already there.

“… Kay…”

Kara’s smile is small. “Hey, baby…” She looks deep into her eyes and her smile dims. “Can I hug you?”

Alex doesn’t answer. She just sneaks her arms around Kara’s middle and exhales shakily.

Kara’s own arms come to engulf her and all the tension leaves Alex’s body.

Alex feels a kiss on her matted hair. “I love you, Alex.”

Alex trembles and nods.

She wants to say it back, she does, but words are hard.

But Kara understands, right?

The tightening around her frame makes her think Kara does.

She trembles harder.

“Oh, baby,” Kara whispers against her temple. “You are freezing. Can I dress you?”

A shiver runs down her whole body and she nods.

“Thank you, love.” Kara drops another kiss on her head. “Can you grab onto my shirt? I need to use my hands, and I know you like it better when I’m touching you.”

Alex blinks and another pair of tears make their way down her cheeks.

Kara shouldn’t care this much.

Still, she moved her hands to clutch the front of Kara’s shirt as instructed.

“Good girl, Alex. Let’s dress you, yes?”

Kara reaches for her top, and with little hassle, arm by arm, Alex finds herself covered from the waist up.

When Kara reaches for her boxers, though, something in Alex flickers.

“No.”

Kara halts all movement. “No?”

Alex gulps. Kara is here. Kara helps. Kara knows what’s best… Kara is here.

With a trembling hand, Alex fetches the pull-up and presses it to Kara’s hand.

Kara’s calm expression never changes. “Are you sure?”

Alex nods.

If Kara think it’ll help… she’s willing to wear it.

As long as Kara is here, she’ll say yes to anything.

“If you don’t like it, you don’t have to use it anymore, okay?”

And Kara will keep her safe.

Kara will never use her trust against her.

Kara will never make her feel bad.

Kara will never leave her… right?

“Hey, baby. Why the tears? Are you sure you want them?”

Alex nods her head and Kara helps her into the pull-up. They are warm against her chilled skin and they hug her in a way she hasn’t feel before. They feel weird, but not uncomfortable.

“Shh, Bubba,” Kara sighs in her hair, hugging her once her boxers were put over the pull-up. “Everything is okay. I’m here, baby. I’m here.”

Kara shift them enough so they can slide onto Alex’s bed, never letting her go.

Alex curls against Kara’s chest, her nose brushing her breast. One hand keeps its grip on Kara’s shirt and the other goes to her stinging cheek.

“Don’t scratch,” Kara commands in a whisper, hugging her tight.

Alex listens and her hand stops by her mouth, where she lets her fingers play with her lips.

Her eyes are heavy, and she blinks them slowly.

“Sleep, baby.”

Alex’s breathing deepens and, after blinking twice, she can’t open her eyes anymore.

Kara’s heartbeat thumps in her ear, lulling her with its steady rhythm.

She feels Kara’s hand near her hip and Alex’s almost asleep when her hand starts its usual soft patting.

The last thing she remembers is the thought of how good the patting feels with the extra padding.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lighter chapter to balance out last one :)
> 
> Thanks for all the support, you guys are amazing

Alex wakes up first.

Kara’s new schedule forces her to be up early, even now on break, but they went to bed late last night and yet there’s something that made Alex wake up.

She feels heavy and warm.

Kara is still asleep at her side. Her arms are loosely wrapped around her, one by under her shoulders and the other across her waist. Kara’s not the reason she woke up.

Alex takes inventory of her body. She’s warms, so she didn’t get cold enough to wake up. Her limbs feel okay, there’s no tingling or cramping. She didn’t pull anything yesterday… so those are not at fault either.

She rubs her legs together.

Uh.

She feels warmer than usual around the crotch-

Oh.

Right.

Kara brought pull-ups.

Alex wiggles a little, prompting Kara to start caressing her tummy, where her hand lays.

The knowledge that she’s wearing a pull-up isn’t as distressing as she first assumed. She can tell she’s wet, the thing feels damp, but she’s comfortable. The warmness and snug fit make for a weird sensation… not bad, just different.

But not different enough to wake her up.

She grunts unhappily. She wants to sleep again.

A sudden boom makes her flinch.

Kara’s arms pull her back closer to her body at the movement.

Alex looks at her window. It’s gloomy and it’s raining.

Another boom echoes in the room.

That’s what woke her up.

A thunderstorm.

She turns around so she can burrow into Kara again.

She hates thunder.

She’s always hated it.

She fists her hands on Kara’s shirt.

She hates that she hates thunder.

Another boom makes the windowpane rumble.

They are stupid. They are not scary, but they make her skin crawl. Their light is fun to watch when it’s too dark, but the emptiness they leave behind makes her uncomfortable.

She tangles her legs with Kara’s enjoying how her bare skin rubs against Kara’s.

She sighs deeply.

Now that she knows it’s the thunders that woke her, she doesn’t know if she’ll fall asleep again.

“Shhh,” Kara murmurs, her voice rough and heavy. The arm under her shoulders curls around her and her hand buries in her hair. “I’m here…”

Alex smiles. Even in sleep, Kara is always making sure she’s alright. “I know,” she murmurs back. She sneaks a hand under Kara’s shirt and around her back, playing with the soft skin on her fingertips. “I know.”

Alex closes her eyes and yawns.

Maybe she can fall back asleep after all.

XxXxX

“Hey, sleepyhead.”

Alex whines.

“Come on baby… It’s time to open those gorgeous eyes.”

Alex curls around herself more.

A light hand starts patting her bottom and Alex wiggles closer to the feeling, however, Kara stops almost as soon as she started the motion. “Uh…”

Alex sighs. She knows what’s wrong.

She uncurls to face Kara. She stretches. “Morning.”

Kara smiles tentatively. “Morning, love.”

Alex smiles back lazily.

“Did you sleep okay?”

Alex nods. “Yep.”

“I’m glad.” Kara starts rubbing Alex’s stomach and the younger girl melts against the bed.

She looks at Kara with heavy lidden eyes and, damn, she’s comfy, so she decides to be the one to address the elephant in the room.

Kara looks too troubled to do it.

“I’m wet,” she announces softly.

Kara bites her lip. She nods.

Alex has to giggle at how lost Kara looks. “Shower?”

Kara’s face relaxes. “Sure, baby. Let’s take a shower.”

XxXxX

Wearing pulls-up is the best decision ever.

Alex refuses to tell Kara why she had a melt down and how she came to agree to use the things, but she is happy to let Kara put them on once she realizes the warmth they provide is comforting.

It also helps that Alex and Kara sleep through the night and little by little, the bags under Kara’s eyes disappear.

It’s under that note that Kara and Alex find themselves in the parking lot near one Tom’s Toys on Sunday afternoon.

“Okay, baby,” Kara starts once she turns the car off. “Rules.”

Alex’s eyes widen. “Rules?” she cries. “We’re having rules?!”

Kara laughs at her indignant expression. “Of course we are, love.”

“But-But why?!”

Kara bops Alex’s nose and smiles. “Because I know someone that’s super excited and I don’t want any trouble today.”

Alex’s lip wobbles. “But I’ve been good!”

“I know, honey. You’ve been so good and I promised you to come. However, if you know the rules, you’ll know what not to do, don’t you think?”

Alex crosses her arms. “I know not to steal…”

“Good girl. You nailed the first rule.”

“Haha,” Alex deadpans.

“Rule two is easier to remember.” Kara ignores the tongue stuck her way. “When I say no, I mean it Alex.”

The girl looks appalled. “Why would you say no? We are going to a toy store!”

Kara nods. “Exactly. We are going to a toy store and if I say no, it’s no.”

“But-”

“When I say it’s time to go home, it’s time to go home.”

Alex’s lip wobbles.

“I still haven’t recovered from last time, so, please, stay near me. I’ll gladly follow you around, but for the love of God, do not wander off.”

Alex’s eyes widen, preparing for a massive pout.

“And, the moment you throw a tantrum, we are leaving. Empty handed.”

Alex’s face clears at that, leaving a blank mask behind.

“See? You know how to behave.”

Alex’s sigh is better suited for a man headed to the gallows. “Kara…” she complains softly. “Please.”

Kara’s head tilted to the side, truly confused. “Please what, baby?”

Alex wiggles. “I promise I’ll behave, but… can you please don’t?”

“Don’t what? Give you rules?”

Alex nods with a small blush. “I’m not a kid.”

Kara brushes the hair over her eyes. “Love, this doesn’t have to do with how old you are. If I give you rules, then we’ll both know what’s acceptable and what’s not.”

Alex rubs at her cheek. The marks she did by scratching are still healing and are a good reminder on how she sometimes doesn’t make the best choices. “… okay.”

“Okay?”

Alex nods, a little more confident. “Okay. I trust you.”

Kara smiles. “Then, last rule.” Alex nods again. “Whatever catches your eye, don’t be shy to show me, okay? We’ll see what we’re bringing home, but you don’t have to be embarrassed if you like something. It’s just me, okay?”

Alex flushes at that.

“W-Why do you say that?” Alex asks in a small voice.

Kara’s hand rests on her head, combing her hair. “Because I know you, love. I don’t want you to overthink this, okay? I just want you to enjoy the outing.”

Alex bites her lip. What Kara says makes sense. “Okay.”

“Okay. Then, let’s get going!”

XxXxX

Turns out, Kara’s rules come in handy.

The moment Alex steps inside the store, she freezes.

Growing up in the house they did, toys were not really a thing in their past. Kara knew this and as such knew that Alex would be excited up until she was presented with more choices than she’d ever had.

Kara isn’t planning on buying the whole store, but she is willing to let Alex bring a fair share of whatever she likes.

Problem is, neither of them really know what Alex likes.

Oh, Alex’s always proclaimed to hate most kiddy stuff. She used to throw a fit when she was given clothes in pinks and frills. She used to behead the odd doll that reached her hands. She used to always bemoan she was no baby and thus, always asked for books on the rare occasions that Ms. Henshaw was willing to buy her something.

Even after, when Kara was out the house and started making money and started providing for Alex, the girl never once asked for toys.

Kara can admit she was really shocked to see Alex drawn to the toys when they went shopping, even if the shock had been overruled by her fear and anger.

And so, Alex freezes the moment she enters the store, before rushing to the back like the little kid she is at heart.

“Alex,” Kara calls to her in her normal tone. She knows the girl will understand.

And she does. Stopping in her tracks, she turns on her heels and smiles sheepishly. She reaches out for Kara. “Come?”

Kara is too glad to grab the offered hand. “Thank you, love.”

Alex nods and drags her where, oh, Kara can see it now, where the Legos are.

Wonder that.

They walk down the aisle, hand in hand, Alex looking left and right. Alex keeps her hands to herself and she doesn’t tug, so Kara is happy to just bask in Alex’s open and happy face.

“Kara, see.” Alex halts and points to where a box that looks familiar sits on a high shelf. “My Lego.”

Kara squints and, right, that’s the one that got Alex distracted at the supermarket. “I see.” She smiles down to Alex. “Should I fetch it?” The box it’s too high for Alex to reach but Kara might if she stretches enough.

Alex bites her lip, thinking.

She shakes her head. “Wanna keep looking.”

Kara brushes a strand of hair behind Alex’s ear. “You sure? It looked like you really liked it.”

Alex’s eyes the box as her hand goes to her scratched cheek-

“Alex. Don’t.”

-and it makes a detour so her fingers tap at her lips.

Kara smiles. “So, yes to the toy?”

Still, Alex shakes her head. “Keep looking.”

Kara’s smile turns into a frown. “Okay, then.” Why doesn’t Alex want the one toy Kara is sure she wants?

Alex tugs her along the next couple of aisles, stopping here and there to observe what’s in offer, but never picking anything up.

The more things Alex contemplates but doesn’t pick, the more Kara gets confused.

If she were Alex, she’d already have at least fifteen things in her hands.

They leave the Lego section and wander onto the puzzles one. Apparently, Alex doesn’t care much for the big puzzles, but she is intrigued with the ball mazes and 3D spheres and Kara thinks, just for a second, that maybe Alex would finally pick something up.

Turns out, no. Alex doesn’t pick the Harry Potter ball she’s eyed for five solid minutes.

Alex tugs at her again, and they are now walking to the dolls. Alex’s nose scrunches up, but she still speed-walks them down the section, if only not missing anything that the store has to offer.

Next are the action figures, which Kara knows Alex thinks are still dolls, just for boys, so they don’t spend much time there either.

Alex doesn’t let them waste much time on the educational toys nor the cars section…

… which then leaves them by the door again.

Alex’s hand never left her lips as they wandered the shop and now that she’s stopped walking, they tap a low rhythm on them.

Now, Kara is really confused. “Lexie?”

“Uh?”

“What’s the matter?”

Alex’s eyes drift from where they were looking around, to her. “Nuthin’”

Kara frowns slightly.

“You didn’t find anything you like?”

Alex shakes her head.

“Then why didn’t you choose something?”

Alex shrugs, her eyes going back to wander around. “Can’t decide.”

Kara blinks at that. “What?”

“Can’t decide,” Alex mumbles behind her fingers.

“Decide what, love?”

“What to buy.”

Kara doesn’t see that big of a problem. Alex’s interest was taken by, at most, five items.

She came to the store with the intention of buying the girl at least ten things to occupy her. She’s been well behaved since the whole supermarket scare and Kara wants to spoil her for the sake of it. So, Alex hesitating is weird.

Kara pursed her lips. She feels like there’s something she’s missing.

“What about we grab a basket,” she motions to the baskets on the side, “and you put all your options in there. We can sort them once we know what you like.”

Alex nibbles at the tip of her index, looking around, before nodding. “Okay.”

Kara grabs one of the large baskets and Alex leads them around the store again, this time, picking up what she liked best the first time around.

In the end, the basket holds the Hogwarts Lego set she first liked, the Harry Potter Perplexus, a Jenga, a dragon egg 3D puzzle, a stretchy octopus, and, amazingly enough, an Elsa Funko.

“Good choice, Alex,” Kara can’t help but encourage. Alex was jumpy during the whole choosing process, second guessing and looking at Kara for permission every time before putting something in the basket.

Alex blushes.

They are near the back of the store and there’s no one around, so Kara doesn’t comment when Alex grabs the basket and sits on the floor. One by one, she takes the toys out and forms them in a line around her. It looks almost as if Alex is ready to play with her selection.

Kara, however, is startled, when, after a couple of minutes, Alex sighs and takes the little Elsa and whispers, “’M sorry, maybe next time,” before dropping her in the basket again.

A couple of minutes more, and Alex is picking up the dragon egg too and whispering to it, before dropping it to the basket.

Kara frowns. “Lexie,” she asks as she kneels by the girl. “What are you doing?”

Alex grabs the Hogwarts’ set and put it in the basket before answering. “Choosing,” she explains with a little frown.

Kara hums. She thinks she gets it now. “And what are you choosing?” she asks, just to confirm if what she’s getting from Alex’s behavior is right.

Alex looks at her as if she had grown a second head. “What we buy.”

Kara nods. It looks, indeed, like Alex is under the impression that Kara meant to buy just the one thing. “I see…” Kara smiles and puts the rest of the toys in the basket, ignoring for a moment the crestfallen look on Alex’s face. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t explain myself. We came here to buy you toys. As in plural. If these are what you want, we’ll take them all.”

Alex’s eyes widen at that information. “Really?”

“Really.”

Alex frowns. “But… there’re too many.”

Kara pecks her forehead. “It’s been really stressing lately. Let me spoil you.”

“But…”

“Please, Alex. I honestly thought I was going to be saying no to half the store. These are few enough toys we can buy them all.”

Alex looks at the basket for a moment. “… are you sure?”

“As sure as my love for you.”

Alex’s blush comes back at that. “KayKay…” she whines and hides her face behind her hands.

Kara chuckles. “Com’on, you, big tomato, let’s pay for this.”

Alex gladly lets Kara take her hand and head to the checkout, bouncing slightly in place as she waits for Kara to pay.

Once they are out the store, Alex dives for the bags. “Can I open them?” she asks eagerly.

Kara laughs at that. “Not yet, Bubba. There’s one other store I want us to go before going home.”

Alex nods. “Can I open them at the car?”

Kara nods back. “Maybe just Elsa and the octopus? Let’s not chance loosing some of the smaller pieces, okay?”

“Okay!”

They walk down the street, Alex swinging their clasped hands as they go. “Hey, Kay?”

“Mmmm?”

“Thank you.”

Kara tugs at their joined hands to bring Alex closer. She loops her arm around her shoulder as they walk, hugging her to her side. “My pleasure, love.”

They keep walking, basking in their closeness for ten minutes, before they arrive at the store Kara wanted to go.

“… Kara?!”

Kara smiles. “Com’on, Alex, don’t you want to go in?”

Alex’s eyes widen as she nods excitedly. “Yes, please!”

“Then, let’s go,” Kara commands as she steers them into the art supply store.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi loves!!!
> 
> Drama ahead :)

Kara looks up from her editing to find Alex hovering at the door. Ever since their trip to the toy and art supplies stores, Alex has been willing to spend time on her own either playing with her toys or filling her coloring books.

Because, even when they went into an art supply store to get something for Alex to start doing her crafts, Alex only wanted to bring home a couple of color boxes, a sketchbook and a handful of coloring books. When asked why she wouldn’t buy more, Alex confessed that the crafts where cool to watch but she’d rather color and don’t stress over not getting things done exactly the same way the tutorials showed.

Kara didn’t question that. She remembers how frustrated she got when she tried doing a cake following a video and the subsequent fire she had to put out.

She also remembers how little Alex was always the happiest coloring away.

It was one of the few things that Kara believes could actually make a young Alex sit still for more than ten minutes.

She kind of misses having Alex glued to her hip, but she knows it’s not healthy for the younger girl to be so attached and so she’s happy as long as Alex is happy too.

“Hey, love,” Kara greets her, pushing her chair away from the desk to face her better.

Alex waits no time in walking to her and straddling her lap. She cuddles close to her chest. “Hi.”

Kara’s arms go around her middle automatically. “All done with the coloring?”

Alex nods. “Me finished a book already.”

“Wow, baby! You work really fast!”

Alex blushes at the praise, hiding her face against Kara’s shoulder.

Kara chuckles at her embarrassed baby. She noses her temple. “You came here because you got lonely?” she asked gently.

Kara ignores the slight flare of pain in her chest when Alex shakes her head. “Nuh-uh.”

“Oh?” She rocks them side to side. “Then why do I owe the pleasure?”

Kara can feel the little frown Alex presses against her skin and soon enough, the girl is staring at her with her eyes narrowed. “You sad,” she accuses.

Kara’s eyes widen. “No, baby. I’m not.”

Alex’s frown deepens, as she stares deep into her eyes. She pokes at Kara’s nose. “You said no lying.”

Kara has to cross her eyes at the sudden invasion. “Love?”

Alex pouts, changing her poking for hugging Kara by the middle. “You said we are not allowed to lie.”

Kara is beyond confused. “Alex…?”

Alex keeps quiet for a couple of minutes, and Kara can practically hear her thinking, before she speaks quietly. “’M sorry. I didn’t mean to make you sad. I was lonely… but I was also gonna ask you something.” She raises enough to leave a kiss on Kara’s cheek. “’M sorry. I didn’t mean it to sound like that. I’m always missing you.”

Kara laughs wetly.

Of course, Alex picked up her mood change. She hugs Alex tighter. “I’m sorry too,” she murmurs on her hair. “I got upset over a silly thing.”

Alex shrugs. “It’s not silly if it upsets you.”

Kara smiles. “Of course.” She kisses the top of Alex’s head. “When did you get so smart?”

Alex shrugs again. “I haven’t. I’m just trying to be like you when I grow up.”

Kara peppers Alex’s face in kisses. “I love you.”

Alex giggles. “Kara! Noooooo!”

Kara keeps with her kissing, throwing a tickle or two in there as well.

Alex wiggles and flinches at the attack. “Kara no!!!! Imma pee!”

Kara stops all movement at that statement and Alex leaves her lap in an instant. She sprints out the room and Kara follows her chuckling.

“It’s been along time since you almost had a daytime accident,” she teases as she leans on the doorframe, looking into the bathroom.

Alex glares form her seat at the toilet. “A little privacy, yo!”

Kara just laughs and leaves Alex to her business, all sadness gone.

“You are an ass,” Ales grumbles the moment she joins her in the kitchen.

“Language,” Kara scolds as she starts bringing out stuff for their diner.

Alex pouts.

“What were you going to tell me? When you wandered into the studio? And please, put your pencils away.”

Alex’s pout clears and starts picking up her mess on the table. “Lucy called,” she says.

“Oh? What did she want? Pasta okay?”

“Yeah, pasta’s great… she invited me to a party…”

Kara stops pouring water on the pan. “I guess you want to go.”

Alex nods, playing with one of her pencils. “Can I?”

Kara sighs. She really, really, really wants to say no. “When?” She resumes her cooking.

“Tonight. At ten.”

Kara halts for the second time.

“I know it’s a weekday,” Alex continues, “but I miss her, and I really want to go.”

Kara shakes her head to herself. She has no reason to say no, really. Alex’s being well behaved, she’s listened and the couple of times they’ve gone out to record, Alex didn’t wander off or do reckless stuff.

Alex sighs. “I can’t go?” she asks sadly.

“I didn’t say that.”

“You shook your head like when you’re about to tell me no.”

Kara smiles and, after making sure the pasta is set to boil, goes to Alex and hugs her. “I was shaking my head to myself, love.”

Ales peers up at her. “Why?”

“Because apparently the only reason I have to say no, its that I don’t want to stay home alone.”

Alex’s nose scrunches up. “I don’t think you’d like going,” she states.

Kara chuckles. “I think not. I’m too old for the kind of parties you go.”

Alex rolls her eyes. “You are not old.”

“Old enough to embarrass you if I go with you.”

“… well, that’s true.”

Kara snorts. “Fine. You can go.”

“Yes!”

“But, I have a condition.”

“Anything!”

Kara slaps halfheartedly at Alex’s thigh. “Never agree to anything before knowing what it is.”

Alex smiles sheepishly. “Yes, mom.”

Kara’s heart flutters at that, however, she doesn’t comment on it. “I’ll be dropping you off and picking you up.”

Alex frowns. “But… I don’t want you to wait up…”

Kara combs her hair with the tip of her fingers. “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep without you here, either way. Also, gives me a reason to have you home early.”

Alex gasps. “Nooo!”

“Yes. I’ll drop you off at ten, and I’m picking you up at midnight.”

“No!!! That’s too early! Make it four!”

Kara narrows her eyes. “You won’t go out if you were planning on getting home that late.”

“… I said four? No. No. I meant two. Two is a nice number, don’t you think? Totally the time I was planning on coming home.”

Kara hums, amused at the cheek. “Fine. Two. And no alcohol. Remember?”

This time Alex is the one narrowing her eyes. “Why not?”

“Really, Alex?”

Alex wiggles in her arms. “It’d be really weird if I’m the only one not drinking.”

“Didn’t you say one of you always stay sober? Why can’t that be you?”

Alex grunts. “Fine.”

“Drop the attitude, little one. I can still change my mind.”

“Kay…” Alex whines.

Kara smiles down at her. “Hey, I already said yes. Behave and I’ll take you there.”

Alex’s pout comes back. She hides her face against Kara’s neck and mutters into her skin.

“What was that, Bubba?”

Alex scrunches up her nose. “Your pasta overcooked.”

XxXxX

“Alex!”

Alex looks around and she grins when she sees Lucy powerwalking towards her. “Luce!”

Lucy gathers her in a hug and shakes her happily. “Damn, girl, I’ve missed you.”

Alex’s grin widens. She might’ve met Lucy through Siobhan, but Alex can admit she’s grown to like the fiery brunette faster than she did the Lord siblings. “Missed ya, too, Luce,” she yells to be heard over the pounding music.

“Where’ve you been?” Lucy asks her as she leads her to the back of the house they are in. She smirks. “Were you grounded?” she teases.

Alex blushes and she nods. She’s not really comfortable to admit she wasn’t grounded and had spent the last weeks just basking in Kara’s attention instead. “And you weren’t?”

Lucy shakes her head. “My sister bailed me out. Dad never knew.”

Alex frowns, remembering what Kara said about taking responsibility.

Suddenly, being at this party doesn’t sound as a good idea.

“What’s your poison?” Lucy exclaims once they are at the makeshift bar.

“Water,” Alex nods to the small mountain of water bottles to the side.

Lucy looks at her like she had grown two heads. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Alex shrugs. She really doesn’t care about alcohol. Drinking was always a means for her to fit in with Max and Siobhan and to let loose when she was partying.

She doesn’t acknowledge the voice in her head that tells her that, before, she drank like a sailor because it was the only time her head would just stop. Drinking was the only way she had to just _be_.

But, well, with how the last couple of weeks has been… she thinks she’s felt way better than she’s ever felt, and stupid alcohol doesn’t seem as inviting as always.

She knows, deep down, that if Kara had demanded her not to drink at any other point in her life, she’d ended up lying and drinking no matter what. Hell, that had been her plan all along when Kara gave her rules…

… but… now?

Now Alex doesn’t feel that pull towards the drinks before her and, for once, she thinks she doesn’t need liquid courage to party.

She feels like, tonight, she can be the good girl Kara keeps saying she is and obey.

So, she shrugs again. “I don’t want to drink.”

Lucy scoffs. “Weirdo.”

“Get your drink and let’s dance, you!”

Lucy shakes her head, but does just that, tossing Alex a bottle of water in the process.

Alex grins. Tonight is going to be a good night.

XxXxX

Kara is at lost of what to do without Alex to take care of.

The last weeks have been almost like a dream, with how out of it she feels now.

Alex has been so mellow and so, so, so cuddly, that Kara hasn’t feel the need to pull out their bubble. But, now that Alex is out partying, Kara suddenly feels… lost.

She could ring James, sure, but it’s Wednesday and James is always at her beck and call and she doesn’t think that’s fair to him.

She could also try to reconnect with the few friends she had before Alex moved in… friends that, for one reason or another, she somehow stopped contacting.

It’s not Alex’s fault, no. Life somehow happened and James was the only one that remained constant.

Sam got married in November, and she moved to her husband’s town. Nia is focused on med school, so communication is spare and made through texts mostly. Winn is pursuing his acting career, so he is too busy to be around… not to mention that his breakup with James left their friendship in a delicate place.

Kara sighs. She feels old.

She always jokes with Alex that she’s an old lady… but tonight. Tonight she _feels_ old.

She’s all caught up with her editing, and she doesn’t feel like trying to record anything. Her social media quota is done for the day – there’s only so much Twitter and Instagram she can stomach a day – and as far as she remembers, there’s no laundry to do.

Maybe she can start with all the books she’s been buying and haven’t read?

Nah.

Feels like too much effort.

So, she flops on the couch and starts surfing Netflix.

Maybe there’s something in there she might actually want to watch.

Damn… choosing what to watch is always Alex’s job… or, when doesn’t putting a Disney film is always the norm.

What can she watch without Alex around?

Her eyes land on the half watched _Frozen_ movie and she smiles.

Alex has been watching that movie at least every other day.

She sighs again.

She was worried Alex was getting too attached… but apparently she’s just as needy when it comes to her Lexie.

She looks at the clock on her phone.

Alex has been gone just a little over an hour and she’s a mess already.

She hits play and Elsa’s iconic song blasts out.

Well, at least she’s not like the parents on Twitter. She doesn’t hate _Let It Go_.

Yet.

XxXxX

“What are they doing here?”

Lucy follows Alex’s eyes and she frowns. “Weren’t they in juvie?”

Alex tenses. It’s past midnight and she’s been having fun with Lucy. The older girl decided to stick to the single drink once she realized Alex is really not drinking, which is a good thing. Drunk Lucy is a messy Lucy and Alex doesn’t want to monitor what her friend does today.

“Their dad must’ve paid after all,” Alex comments.

Lucy grabs her hand. “Come say hi!”

“No, Luce,” Alex yanks her hand away. She hasn’t forgotten what Max said and she kinda doesn’t want to meet him. Specially when he catches her eye and smirks that dumb smirk that always spells trouble.

“Why not?” Lucy whines.

“I just don’t.” She frowns. “Go see your girl if you want. I’ll be here.”

“Spoil sport.” But still, Lucy goes and join Siobhan.

Alex shakes her head. She is not getting close to them.

She turns back to the game of beerpong she was cheering and tries to forget about her oh-so called friends.

Her solicitude doesn’t last long.

“Hey there!”

Alex groans internally. “Hi, Max,” she smiles, trying to hide her wince. “Fancy seeing you here.”

Max looks at her up and down. “I didn’t think I’d see you here.”

Alex’s eyebrow quirk. “And why is that?”

Max’s grin is everything but nice. “Isn’t your keeper against you having fun?”

Alex frowns at that. “The hell?”

Max just snorts and passes her a solo cup. “Here.”

Alex doesn’t take it. “I’m not drinking tonight.”

Max rolls his eyes and Alex really doesn’t want to be here. “I know. Luce said so. It’s a virgin Mojito. Scouts honor.”

Alex takes the cup hesitantly. Mojitos are her favorite drink of all time. There’s something nice about the freshness and the sugar that she simply enjoys. Everybody knows that.

However, it’s a wonder Max made her a Mojito.

For one, he thinks the drink is just a waste of alcohol and for two, it’s really weird to actually find the mint needed to make them in parties like this.

“Thanks,” she mutters. She sniffs the drink. It does smell virgin.

Max rolls his eyes again. “Com’on! It doesn’t have alcohol. I swear. Trust me.”

Alex’s lips quirk onto a smile. Maybe her friendship with the stupid Max can be saved after all.

XxXxX

Kara is snoozing to Tangled when her phone rings.

She jolts and sees that Alex is calling.

“Hey love,” she answers groggily. “There’s still half an hour for me to pick you up. Is everything okay?”

 _“Miss Zorel?”_ That voice is definitely not Alex.

“Lucy?” Kara sits up, alarmed. “What-?”

 _“There was an… incident,”_ the girl says, cutting off her questions. _“Please come.”_

Kara’s heart seizes. “Is Alex okay?!” She gets up and rushes to put on her shoes.

 _“… no.”_ Lucy’s voice is small and barely hear over the thumping of music in the background. _”But she’s safe. Please, just come… and bring a change of clothes.”_

Kara blinks and she nods, even when Lucy won’t see. “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

There’s a pause and an exhale and Lucy’s shaky voice reaches her. _“Thank you.”_

And Kara smiles, sprinting towards Alex’s room. “No, Lucy, thank _you._ See you in ten.”

She disconnects without waiting for Lucy to say anything else and rushes around.

She just hopes Alex is indeed fine.

She’s picked up Alex in way too many variants of ‘passed-out-drunk’, so she hopes this one emergency it’s just like those.

She really, really, really hopes so.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi loves!!!
> 
> Forgot to tell you I made a few tweaks on first chapter, if you want to go back and check that out. It was done purely for plot's sake :)

Turns out, this emergency is way worse than what she hoped for.

Once she gets to the house, she calls Lucy again and, following her instructions, she finds herself in the second floor, being ushered inside a locked room…

… where a passed-out Alex is laid on the bed, her pants unbuttoned and missing a shoe.

There’s also a stain in her crotch and the smell of urine is strong enough to reach her nose.

“Alex?” She shakes her shoulder, trying to rouse her up. “Alexandra!”

The girl doesn’t move. Her chest rises and falls easily, so she’s just passed out.

“What happened?” Kara forces herself not to explode. She really does. Alex promised not to drink. “What the hell happened, Lucy?”

The girl grimaces. “I think Max did,” she confesses.

Kara glares at her. She sits by Alex’s head and looks the girl over. It looks like there’s nothing to be alarmed off other than the popped button, there’s no sign of anything amiss.

Even if Alex had an accident.

Even if Alex, apparently, doesn’t wake up.

“Explain.”

Lucy exhales shakily and rubs at her face. “We were having fun, right? Alex refused to drink, so I didn’t either, but we were having fun. Then, Max and Siob arrive and I want to meet them and Alex doesn’t… so I leave her alone and go snog Siob. Next thing I know, she’s talking to Max and then he’s ushering h-her upstairs.” Lucy’s eyes start to water. “I tell Siob that’s weird, Alex always says Max isn’t attractive and we all know what happens when two people head upstairs…”

Kara’s entire body stiffens.

Lacy trails off, sniffing. “I say, ‘Siob, that’s weird’ and she’s like ‘oh, no, don’t worry he’ll take care of her’… but, there’s something off in her voice, so I follow them. I s-saw Max bringing her here, but Alex’s too dizzy. She k-kept swaying in place and she didn’t drink so, I-I…”

Kara blinks and two tears run down her cheeks.

“I ask him if he d-did anything,” Lucy chokes out. “He didn’t say, but I-I swear Alex was sober the last time I saw her and o-one can’t get so drunk in so little time.”

Lucy stares at her eyes, helplessly, but with some fire behind all the pain Kara can see.

“He didn’t do anything to her… I got here as soon as I could and I swear I didn’t let him touch her.”

Kara’s up in an instant, hugging Lucy to her. “Thank you. Thank you so much,” she whispers against her temple.

Lucy’s arms come around her, hugging her tight, crying. “I’-Im sorry I didn’t see it sooner. I-I couldn’t protect her.”

Kara’s crying too. “You did good, Lucy. You did good.” She’s too relieved to feel much anger, but, still, she wonders. “Where’s the asshole?”

Lucy sniffs. “He left when he realized Alex wet her pants. Said some nasty things but I was too busy making sure he left to really pay attention.”

Kara squeezes tight. “Thank you, so, so, so much.”

Lucy nods. “I knew calling you was best… thought of calling the police, but with our records…”

“You did good, honey.” She drops a kiss to the top of her head, just like she does with Alex, before releasing her. “Let me change her, and we’ll get out of here. Okay?”

Lucy rubs at her cheeks and nods and, Kara, out of instinct, grabs her hands to stop it.

Realizing what she did after Lucy gives her a startled look, she just smiles and squeezes Lucy’s hands. She grabs her car keys and hands them to the girl. “Remember which car’s mine?”

“Yeah.”

“Can you wait for us there? I’ll drive you home.”

Lucy frowns a little but nods. “Thanks.”

She leaves the room and Kara turns to the sleeping Alex.

“Oh, baby… you got in serious trouble.”

She grabs the bag she packed for Alex and, just like if it were any other night, she sets to change Alex.

Ditching the soiled clothes is easy and something she’s used to doing. She wishes she’d brought a pull-up, now that she sees what she’s dealing with, but a pair of soft boxers and a fluffy pair of pants will have to do.

“Annn…”

Kara stops tugging the pants on at the murmur. “Alex…?”

Alex moves in her sleep, curling onto herself. She frowns and calls again, “Annnn…”

Kara caresses her forehead with the tip of her fingers. “Shhh, baby. I’m here.”

Alex’s mouth twitches and in any other instance Kara would’ve found it adorable. Her hands clench a little and she rubs her legs together. “Nnnnn.”

Kara smiles sadly. Alex is too out of it.

And she wasn’t there to protect her.

Thank God for Lucy.

“I’m here, Bubba.” She combs her fingers on Alex slight damp hair. “Let’s get you home, okay?”

She picks up Alex once she’s dressed, hugging her to her body.

It’s a weird hold she has on the girl. She’s used to Alex bringing her legs around her middle and holding onto her neck if necessary, not having Alex’s lack legs adding weight to her body. But, still, Kara’s used to carry Alex when the girl is lazy, so it’s not difficult for her to arrange her like a sleeping toddler around her torso.

Alex’s dangling legs make it hard to walk, but she manages leaving the room, climbing down the stairs and getting in her car, ignoring the stares from the drunk teenagers all around.

“Is she okay?” Lucy asks. When she saw them coming, she hurried to open the back door so Kara could lay Alex in the seat.

Kara hums, making sure Alex wouldn’t roll off. “She will be.”

“I’m sorry,” Lucy repeats.

Kara motions for Lucy to sit up front, before joining her. “Don’t be. You did great tonight.”

Lucy sighs, giving her address when prompted. She looks back at Alex’s till form as the car starts. “That’s gonna be a massive hangover.”

Kara nods. “She’s gonna be miserable.”

Lucy’s nose scrunches. “Drugs and she don’t mix well. That time she tried h-” Lucy’s mouth snap shut, suddenly realizing who she is talking with.

Kara smiles sadly, looking at the girl from the corner of her eye. “Don’t worry. Whatever you were going to say, I probably already know.”

Lucy eyes narrow in suspicious. “Right.”

Kara sighs. “I know what drugs Alex has tried. I also know they make her so sick, she runs at the sight of them.”

Lucy sighs back. “Yeah. Siob says she’s a baby.”

Kara keeps her eyes on the road as she comments gently, “Siob doesn’t sound very nice.”

Lucy slumps in the seat. “Yeah… she was cool but then she wasn’t.”

“You are dating, right?”

Lucy shakes her head. “Not really. It’s more of an open relationship.” She cringes, again, noticing that she was speaking to an ‘adult’. “Sorry. That sounds worse than it is.”

Kara hums. “I know I’m older than you, Lucy. But I’m not that old.”

Lucy fidgets. “… but people your age find us disturbing. Especially when it comes to same-sex stuff.”

Kara snorts. “People my age. Lucy, I’m twenty-three. Believe me, I’m not that old. I get it.” She flashes a sad grin to her. “And I’m bi, FYI.”

Lucy widening her eyes as such shouldn’t be as offensive.

“Hey! LGTB people comes in all ages and sizes!”

Lucy shakes her head. “No, not that… It’s… You’re twenty-three.”

Kara’s eyebrow raises. “Yes…? How old did you think I was?”

Lucy flushes and shrugs. “I don’t know… it’s just… my sister is turning thirty soon and she’s not as composed as you.”

Kara sighs again. “I’m anything but composed.”

Lucy shakes her head, again. “But you are so… so…” she trails off, motioning with her hand at Kara.

“Old.”

“No!” Lucy’s flush becomes more pronounced. “Just… mature? I don’t know a word for it.”

Kara smiles sadly at that. “I guess I had to grow up quick thanks to that one,” she muses, pointing with her thumb to the back seat.

Lucy eyes her wearily. “How it’s you’re not freaking out?”

“I am. But, if I stop and do nothing but freak out, I don’t think I’d be able to stop.” She rolls the car to a stop in front the address Lucy gave her. They are in one of the few blocks with actual houses in this part of the city, and Kara eyes the two story home with interest. “We’re here.”

Lucy looks out the window and nods. She undoes her seatbelt and opens the door. “Thanks for the ride,” she says with a small smile.

Kara’s focus, however, is on the empty driveway and the closed drapes on the windows.

“Is anybody home?” she asks as Lucy climbs out the car.

Lucy, on her part, is too startled with the question to consider lying. “No. Dad’s in DC and Lois is with her fiancé.”

Kara frowns. “Get in the car,” she orders.

“Miss Zorel?”

“Get in the car, Lucy. You are staying with us tonight.”

Lucy blinks owlishly. “Why?”

Kara sighs. “Because it was a rough night for you too and I don’t feel comfortable leaving you on your own. Please, get in the car.”

Lucy blushes again. This woman is weird. However, she climbs into the car again and does her seatbelt. She was dreading going to an empty house. “Thank you, Miss Zorel.”

Kara sighs yet again as she drives down the road. “I’ve told you, call me Kara.”

Lucy grimaces. “I’m sorry… it just feels wrong. You’re basically Alex’s mom. I can’t do that.”

Kara’s heart skips at that statement. She smiles just barely. “Fine.”

XxXxX

“I’ll just grab her pajamas and I’ll leave you to it,” Kara comments from the closet. “You and Alex are basically the same size, so I don’t think you’ll have trouble fitting this,” she adds, handing Lucy a pair of soft pants and a loose ACDC shirt.

“Thanks.”

Kara smiles at her. “No problem. I’ll keep the door open, if you need anything, and you’re free to raid the kitchen. If you want, you can take a shower… although I don’t think Alex has new underwear for you…”

“Thank you. I’ll wait until tomorrow for that shower.”

“As you wish. Goodnight, Lucy.” Kara hugs her tightly. “You are a hero.”

Lucy blushes and hugs her back. “Night.”

Soon enough, Kara is gone and Lucy’s eyes roam around Alex’s bedroom.

This place is not something she expected.

She knows Alex and Kara live off YouTube, but she never thought being a Youtuber was this profitable. The building Kara drove to was one of the newest this side of the city and the apartment she was led into is bigger than she imagined when Alex first told her about it.

She knows it’s her prejudice talking, but when she hear ‘foster kids’, ‘apartment’ and ‘living together’ in the same context, she really had believed Alex and Kara were living in some of the older, cheaper buildings around. She never thought about an open kitchen/living-room/dining-room set up, with three bedrooms, their own laundry room and two and a half bathrooms.

Bad Lucy.

Also, she didn’t imagine this room when she thought of Alex’s room.

The room is, for a better word, spartan.

There are no posters on the walls, no photos or anything to make the room stand out. Even the walls are a soft cream color that Lucy suspects came with the lease. Peeking into the closet, there are few clothes and all of them look well loved and soft. The only thing that Lucy thinks is unique, is the low bookcase that has a handful of coloring books, a couple of color pencil cases and some toys she’s too lazy to investigate.

“Uh…” Lucy thought she knew Alex… but this is different.

But, well, she also thought she knew Siobhan and it turned out the bitch condoned date raping.

“Time for bed, Lucy,” she tells to herself. “Or you’ll end up crying yourself to sleep.”

XxXxX

“Annnn…”

Kara smiles sadly through her tears.

She changed Alex into a pair of pull-ups and her pajamas quickly and tucked the girl in her bed, but she can’t sleep.

Every time she closes her eyes she can’t help but imagine what would’ve happen if Lucy didn’t show up when she did.

She can’t help but shake with the fear of knowing she didn’t protect Alex as she promised.

“My baby,” she whimpers in Alex’s hair.

Whatever drug Max gave her is too strong and Kara fears that, if she sleeps, Alex wouldn’t be breathing by morning.

She’s been up, waiting on Alex for hours already.

“Please, wake up…”

Alex groans, twitch, but doesn’t open her eyes.

Oh, God.

Kara doesn’t know what to do.

She needs help.

She picks her phone and dials the number without hesitation.

 _“Kar?”_ The voice is groggy and deep with sleep “ _Whassup?_ ”

Kara exhales shakily. “Nia? Alex’s not waking up.”

 _“Kara?”_ There’s a thump on the other side of the line. _“What?”_

Kara’s crying comes back tenfold. “Someone d-drugged her, Nia,” she sobs out. “And she’s not w-waking up.”

_“Shit, shit, shit. Hold on. I’m on my way. Just-”_

Nia ends the call mid word and Kara smiles wetly.

Help’s coming and she feels lighter.


	13. Chapter 13

“That’s Nia.”

Lucy startles and turns to the kitchen, where Kara is nursing a cup of coffee.

Lucy had a restless night, but she managed to sleep in until noon. She woke up groggy and confused as to where she was until she remembered that Kara had invited her to stay the night.

She wandered into the main living space and was so confused to find an unknown brunette passed out in the couch.

“She’s in med school,” Kara continues. “I asked her to check on Alex.”

Kara, apparently, had a rougher night, if the bags under her eyes are any indication.

Lucy frowns. “She okay?”

Kara smiles tiredly. “She finally woke up around seven. Puked her guts out, but she’s sleeping now.” She nodded to passed out brunette. “Nia says she’ll be fine.”

Lucy’s nose twitches. “Isn’t it safer to take Alex to the hospital?”

Kara grimaced. “We don’t really like hospitals.”

Lucy frowns, but nods.

“Say, want any breakfast?”

Lucy shakes her head. “Thanks for having me, but I better get going before Lois alerts the Army I’m missing.”

Kara’s eyebrows rise at that. “Let me drive you.”

Lucy shakes her head again. “No offence, but you look half dead.”

A chuckle from the couch drew both their attention to a now sitting Nia. “Kara always worries herself sick when it comes to Alex.”

Kara glares. “Even you panicked today,” she accused.

Nia shrugged. “Hey, it’s not common to find out your friend’s baby was drugged and she’s overeating to whatever she was given.”

“So you are saying I was right to worry myself sick.”

“Sure, Kar. What I’m also saying is, that because it was Alex, your worry was tenfold.”

Kara nods, conceding defeat. She turns to Lucy. “Let me call you a cab.”

Lucy smiles gratefully. “Please.”

“Oh, no,” Nia says, stretching. “I’m heading out, too. I can drive her.”

Kara turns to Lucy again. “you okay with that?”

Lucy looks at Nia. Really looks at her.

She doesn’t look older than Kara, and the bed hair she’s sporting doesn’t scream ‘doctor in training’ but her smile is open and she’s Kara’s friend.

Kara trusts her.

But, more importantly, Kara trusts her with Alex.

“I’d like that,” Lucy smiles back. “If its not much trouble.”

“None at all.” Nia jumps to her feet, gathering her stuff. She was always quick to wake up and is the self-proclaimed early riser of their group of friends. “Let’s head out, then.”

Kara accompanies them to the door. “Thank you so much. Both of you.”

Lucy smiles and nods. “She’d do the same for me.”

“You have my number, Lucy. Call me if you need anything or if you’re home alone again and want to crash here.”

“Thank you, Miss Zorel.”

Nia hugs the stuffing out of Kara. “Remember, get her lots of fluids. If you can, make her shakes. They’ll help settle her stomach. And help her ride the headache without painkillers. We can’t have her reacting to those too.”

“Yes, doctor.”

“Good.” Nia turns to Lucy, all smiles. “Come on, tiny, let’s get you home.

Kara closes the door to Lucy’s protests and she smiles.

Alex will be okay and things will go back to normal.

XxXxX

The wailing is unexpected.

Nia never said anything about any wailing.

“Shh, love,” Kara cradles Alex closer to her chest. “Shh, baby, it’ll pass.”

Alex’s breath catches and she hiccups.

This has gone for about an hour now.

Alex woke nauseous and she dashed to the bathroom to throw up the little soup Kara managed to feed her shortly after Nia and Lucy left. That was normal. That was expected.

The way Alex reacts to drugs left no doubt that she was going to be throwing up plenty and that she’d develop a headache worthy of the gods. Nia predicted that she might get dizzy and out of sorts, specially if she was indeed given roofies.

But, having Alex throw up and burst into wailing seconds after was never mentioned.

“H-Hurts,” Alex cries, her bound arms moving under the blanket desperately.

“I know, baby, I know…”

Kara has never felt so impotent.

Alex’s headache is going strong and Alex can’t cope with the pain right now. She had to wrap Alex tightly in a blanket just to prevent her from scratching all over her face.

But, there’s little Kara can do. Nia said no painkillers, and Kara fears giving Alex some might make things worse in the near future.

Alex has thrown up thrice since waking up.

She wishes the girl could just fall asleep again.

She wishes she could give some water, too. Alex’s is too sweaty and with all the throwing up, she knows she’ll dehydrate soon.

She presses the mouth of Alex’s favorite sport bottle against her lips, trying to coax her into drinking something. Anything.

Alex, brave Alex, tries, but the crying is too strong and she chokes on it.

“Okay, okay,” Kara exhales. “No water yet.”

“H-Hurts,” Alex whimpers, trying to get closer to Kara.

Kara closes her eyes, willing the tears away. “I know, Bubba. I know. But you need to calm down. All this crying won’t help the pain go away.”

Her hand rest on the swell of Alex’s hip, and she starts patting her padded butt. That’s an action that always seem to calm Alex and at this point, she’d sell her soul in exchange for Alex’s pain to diminish.

Alex hiccups again, but the patting is working. The wailing goes down to crying and Kara exhales shakily. “There, my good girl,” she murmurs into her hair. She continues with her soft patting, and her other hand gently rubs at Alex’s back. “Such a good girl.”

Kara starts a soft rocking and Alex relaxes against her, calming down further.

“Such a good, brave girl.” Kara pecks Alex’s warm forehead. “Are you thirsty, love?”

Alex nods and Kara tries offering some water. This time, with no more wailing and crying out, the water goes down smoothly and Alex starts drinking heartily.

“Easy, Bubba.” Kara takes the mouth of the sport bottle from between Alex’s lips.

“Nooo…!” Alex whimpers.

“I know, love, but you need to drink slowly. I don’t want you to choke.”

Alex’s pout, with eyes red and cheeks stained, tears at Kara’s heart.

“Here.” She brings the bottle to her lips again. “Drink slowly.”

Alex nods, barely, and starts drinking again.

“Good girl,” Kara praises gently.

Alex hums and her breathing slows. She closes her eyes.

“Go back to sleep, angel. I’m here.”

XxXxX

_“How is she?”_

Kara wants to tear at her hair out. It’s the second day since she got Alex from that dreadful party and the girl is still alternating between puking whatever little food she can feed her, sleeping or wailing her eyes out with how much her head is hurting.

“She’s about the same,” she groans in the phone. Right now, Alex is napping after exhausting herself crying.

Nia grunts on the other end. _“That’s weird. She should’ve felt better by now.”_

“I told you she’s never done good with drugs.”

_“And I told you it’s super weird you can discuss your baby sister doing drugs so easily.”_

Kara shrugs, even when Nia can’t see her. “We don’t keep secrets from each other.”

_“So Alex knows all about your short, but very eventful, exotic dancer career?”_

“… okay, so, Alex and I don’t keep many secrets from each other.”

Nia laughs is sweet and soft, so it’s annoying how it grates on Kara’s ears.

“Nia, focus,” Kara does not whine, but her voice is just a little high pitched when she complains. “Alex isn’t getting better.”

That halts all laughter. _“Sorry. Let me see…_ _You say the pain is the same?”_

“Apparently. She can’t be awake more than an hour before she starts crying.”

_“Nausea? Dizziness? Vertigo?”_

Kara blinks, aren’t those the same? “She pukes a lot,” she choses to say. “And she won’t eat.”

_“So that’s a yes for nausea. Why does she vomit? Can you tell?”_

Kara sighs. “Not really. She can be eating and then puking, or she can be sleeping and then puking.”

_“That sounds like whatever she was given is still upsetting her stomach. We can’t do much but wait it out, I’m afraid. She’ll have to sleep it off.”_

“Can’t she take something? She’s sleeping but she’s not resting.”

Nia keeps quiet for a moment. _“I think she could… It’s been long enough that her body must’ve flushed most of the drug.”_ There’s murmuring on the other side of the line and Kara vaguely remembers that Nia is doing summer classes. _“How do you calm her down? Does she fall asleep due exhaustion?”_

Kara blushes just a tiny smidge, but she needs to be honest with the almost-doctor that’s treating Alex. She knows she’s not doing any harm, but she also knows how she’s been treating Alex is not common. “I-I usually calm her down with pets and pats.”

_“Pets and pats?”_

“Y-Yeah. I’d pet her hair or pat her butt. She calms down after a while when I do that.”

_“Mmmm.”_

“Nia?” Kara asks a little scared.

Will Nia be disturbed of what just heard?

_“What about liquids. Is she drinking water?”_

“That’s about the only thing she can take.”

_“And you’re sure she actually drinks the water? I’ve seen many patients throwing their water and food away.”_

“No. She drinks. I give it to her and she’s thirsty. She almost choke on her bottle the other day.”

_“… her bottle…?”_

“Y-Yeah.” Now that she’s said it out loud… she can’t deny it sounds weird. So, she explains, “She can’t hold glasses so I give her a sport bottle with water.”

There’s more muttering on the other side and Kara gets just a tiny bit nervous.

 _“I guess you’re not leaving Alex alone,”_ Nia finally said, _“so I’ll drop by the drugstore once I’m done here and bring you the meds, okay?”_

Kara exhales sharply. “Thank you. You’re a godsend.”

Nia laughs again. _“Tell that to my mom next time you see her, yeah?”_

“I will.”

_“Anything else you need from the outside world?”_

Kara thinks about it. She hasn’t been cooking as usual, so they are still good in the grocery department and Nia is already picking up whatever medicine Alex will need. There’s only one thing she knows they are running low on…

“Yeah,” she says after a moment. She loves Nia and Nia loves her, but she isn’t sure how this request will end. She’s already thrown a lot of curveballs to Nia in the last couple of days. “Could you bring us a pack of TENA underwear? Size small, please.”

Alex is drinking her water like a champion, yes, but she’s also peeing like one. After her first time puking, Kara realized that the stress of her pain and the effort she did while vomiting made Alex wet herself even awake.

Kara has Alex in pull-ups all the time at the moment and she’s starting to run low on them.

Nia, much to her credit, only hesitates half a second before replying, _“Sure thing. I’ll be by around noon.”_

“Great. I’ll have lunch ready.”

“ _Yes! I miss homecooked food!”_

And on that note, and after their goodbyes, Kara hangs up. She peeks in Alex’s bedroom and smiles to see her still sleeping, even when she’s sporting a little frown. Alex’s skin is pale and sweaty, but hopefully after Nia comes by and she takes her medicine, Kara will be able to give the girl a bath.

She just wishes everything is over and Alex can go back to her cheery self.

XxXxX

Nia arrives at noon, just as promised.

Kara, on the other hand, hasn’t made any lunch as she promised.

She’s too busy trying to console Alex, who, after puking out the shake she was given, couldn’t stop crying. Again.

Nia enters their home to cries and a frantic looking Kara and a devastated looking Alex squirming in her arms. She smiles. “Bring her to the couch, will you?” she asks, shaking one of the bags she’s carrying. “I’ve got her meds.”

Kara exhales tiredly and does as told, carrying a whimpering Alex to the couch. She tries to set her down, but Alex doesn’t let her go, prompting Kara to sit on the couch with Alex on her lap, facing Nia.

Nia on her part, takes a seat on the coffee table. “Hi Alex,” she says in a soft voice, almost too soft to be heard over Alex’s cries. “I’m happy to see you awake.”

Nia smiles as she searches into one of the bags. “I’ve brought a surprise friend that wanted to see you…” She rummages on the bag a little longer, making the plastic crinkle noisily. “But, I don’t think she’ll be happy to see you crying… Do you think you could stop crying for her?”

Kara startles at the question. She’s about to open her mouth when Nia kicks her subtly in the foot. Nia’s eyes are fixed on Alex, but she shakes her head minutely.

Kara looks at Alex and she sees that the girl is eyeing the bag with interest and that her loud crying has reduced to sniffs and little whimpers almost instantly.

Kara’s mouth opens in shock.

Nia beams at the change. “Thank you so much, Alex!” she exclaims happily. Bringing her hand out the bag, she pulls out a brown plush bunny, fluffy with long ears and a white tuff for a tail. “Here she is! Can you say hi to her?”

Alex rubs at her eye, looking mesmerized to the bunny. “H-Hi.”

Nia says in an overly high voice, “Hi, little one!”

Alex giggles at the absurdity of it. Or at least that’s why Kara thinks she’s giggling.

“Say, Alex,” Nia continues in her normal voice. “My friend doesn’t have a name. She says she’ll get her name once she meets a cute kiddo she can live with. What do you say? Would you name her? Would you like her to live with you?”

Alex doesn’t hesitate on nodding.

“Awesome!” Nia turns the bunny to face her. “You’ll have a home lady!” She turns back to Alex. “So, what’s her name?”

By this point Alex’s crying is forgotten and she’s just sniffling softly. She looks at the bunny, going so far as to lean forward on Kara’s lap, for a couple of seconds before announcing happily. “She Fluffy McCotton of the Soft Meadows!”

Nia nods solemnly. “That’s a really good name.” She shakes one of the bunny’s paw. “Nice to meet you, Fluffy McCotton of the Soft Meadows. I’m sure young Alex here will take the upmost care of you.”

Alex giggles at Nia’s dramatics before she’s grinning wide the moment Nia passes the bunny over. “Thank you, Nia,” Alex murmurs as she presses the soft toy against her nose.

Nia echoes her grin. “You’re very welcome. But, I have another surprise for you.”

Alex perks up at that.

Nia lowers her voice. “But this one’s a secret. Can you keep a secret?”

Alex looks wearily at Kara and, even when she’s so confused and out her depth, Kara smiles at the girl reassuringly. “KayKay can know?” she asks timidly.

Nia nods her head slowly. “Yes, honey. KayKay can know. But no one but the three of us can know. Can you keep the secret?”

Alex nods back. “Yes!”

Nia gets closer to the girl. “Our friend Fluffly McCotton knows you’re hurting, and she brought a magic potion from the Soft Meadows to help with the pain. Isn’t that amazing?”

Alex gapes at her and Kara feels really, really confused right now.

“Would you take the potion, Alex?” Nia asks looking around, as if she was trying to keep people from listening in the secret.

Alex nods harder at that. “Yes!”

Nia smiles. “Then let me get it. Just you close your eyes.” She stands with the bags and goes to the kitchen, making sure Alex can’t see her.

Kara turns enough to see that Nia is pouring a neon pink syrup in a tiny cup and she guesses that whatever medicine she’s preparing it’s Fluffy McCotton’s special potion.

Sneaky Nia.

“Here,” Nia says as she sits down in front of Alex again. “Open up, honey.”

Alex obeys, letting Nia tip the little cup into her mouth. She’s soon grimacing at the taste. She whimpers as she swallows.

“I know, Alex,” Nia says with a sympathetic smile, combing her sweaty hair back. “But our friend Fluffy McCotton is a bunny and they are not very good at making yummy potions.”

Alex glares betrayed at the bunny.

“But I promise she made it with all her love and that’s the secret ingredient that’ll make you feel better.”

Alex’s glare tampers off and she kisses the bunny’s head.

“Now, why don’t you show Fluffy McCotton your room? She’ll be spending a lot of time there, after all.”

Alex looks at Kara again and, after a nod of encouragement, she’s speeding towards the back of the apartment.

Once they are alone, Kara turns on Nia. “What the hell?” she asks both amazed and still so confused.

Nia blushes. “I’ve been spending my time in the Pediatric Ward these past months and something I learnt is that kids that feel sick usually make themselves sicker because they feel off. Sometimes, kids in pain will feel more of a bother, and that’s what makes them so fussy and teary. The trick is to know when the pain is really debilitating and when they are just throwing a tantrum. So, a nurse taught me how to calm them down so they can take their meds and depending on how that goes, we can see if the kids are in pain or not.”

Kara blinks, trying to understand it all. “So… you’re saying this all was a tantrum?”

Nia makes a half nod. “Sorta? I mean, she’s in pain, yes, but that pain doesn’t warrant the kind of reaction she’s having. She’s feeling sick and that makes her feel more tender and needy than usual… which makes her irritable and cranky… which then feeds on her discomfort and it’s a cycle you need to break if you need her calm. That’s the bunny’s job. Don’t be surprised if it starts talking for her.” She eyes Kara up and down. “It doesn’t help you’re a mess too. Kids pick on that kind of stuff.”

Kara rubs her face. “But Alex’s not a kid,” she defends weakly.

Nia smiles sadly at Kara. “Kara, regression is normal, specially if she went through a traumatic experience.”

“Regression?”

This time Nia is the one blinking, unsure how to explain what is obviously still lost on Kara. She opens her mouth to say something, but the pitty-patter of feet interrupt them as Alex comes running.

“KayKay?”

Kara shakes her head and turns to Alex. “Yes, Bubba?”

Nia raises a pointed eyebrow at Kara when she hears that pet name.

Alex makes a face for a second, before continuing without a beat, “Fluffy says she’s hungry.” She presents the bunny so Kara can see it. “Can we have pancakes? And milk?”

Nia coughs to hide her laughter at Kara’s bulging eyes.

Guess Kara didn’t believe her when she said Fluffy McCotton of the Soft Meadows would start talking for Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...
> 
> If I were to give Alex a possible love interest... who would you want them to be?
> 
> I have an idea, but I'm always open to suggestions :)


	14. Chapter 14

“Leave Fluffy on your bed, love. She’s not coming with us.”

Alex pouts at that. “But she doesn’t want to be alone!”

“And I don’t want her getting lost.”

Alex stomps her foot and Kara’s thoughts go back to what Nia told her that day.

Nia had mentioned the word regression and she’s looked it up a couple of time ever since, once Alex is deep asleep. And what she’d found… well, she’s not ready to open that can of worms.

The only thing she wants, is to take care of Alex and to make sure she’s the happiest person on Earth. Psychology and everything else, she can think later.

“Drop the attitude, Alex,” Kara says to the girl. “I thought you wanted to go to Universal?”

“I do!”

“Then stop stomping your foot and do as I say.”

“But she-”

“Will be staying home.” Kara smiles softly, sensing that using adult logic on Alex won’t help today. “Don’t you want her to babysit your toys? Remember, she’s the only responsible one.”

That makes Alex pause.

Shortly after Alex flushed all the drug out her system, Kara took a page from Nia’s book and took her back to Tom’s Toys to get friends for Fluffy, to try and bounce Alex form the awful experience.

Alex came back with two more plushies, a small army of Play Mobil figurines and an Anna Funko.

As far as Kar can understand the complexities of Alex’s toys, Anna and Elsa are in a never-ending war with Bernard Claw of the Blue Vale and his cohort, Rupert Woof of the Purple Plains and their Paly Mobil battalions are constantly attacking each other. Lady Fluffly McCotton, though, is the only one able to make all behave and cease all fire.

Alex looks at the bunny in her hand.

Fluffy is rarely far from Alex.

“Do you think they’d cause trouble if Fluffy isn’t there?” Alex asks in a whisper.

“Most definitely.” Kara bops Alex’s nose. “I know you’d misbehave without me around.”

Alex blushes and scampers off to leave the bunny on charge of the rest of the toys.

Kara snorts.

The change in Alex after all the party fiasco is huge.

She’s more carefree, but she’s also more pliant to Kara’s orders. She might talk back if she’s trying to convince Kara to do something, but she’s usually obedient when Kara explains things to her. She smiles more easily but she also can go from laughing to crying in under a minute and Kara is still learning what triggers those crocodile tears.

Alex also got back to her social media, but her focus has shifted slightly.

Before, Alex would share all about sports, competitions, the odd gaming event and, of course all parkour. Now, now Alex has shared a lot of Lego, several DIY little robots and marble courses. Sure, she keeps up with the parkour, what she’s famous for, but amazingly enough, what she’s been sharing has gained her about thirty thousand followers on Instagram.

Right now, Alex asked to go to Universal so she could, one, visit the new Harry Potter Wizarding World, and two, record all about it to expand her channel content.

Kara is not sure she’s looking forward to the crazy that’s gonna be Alex.

“Kay!”

Kara shakes her head at the call, knowing Alex is going to keep giving her arguments, but goes to Alex all the same. “What’s up, love?” she asks, looking into the girl’s room.

She doesn’t know why she’s surprised to see the two small armies facing each other on the floor and their generals – namely Elsa and Anna, and the bear and the wolf plushies – overseeing everything.

Kara raises an eyebrow. “Didn’t we put them away ten minutes ago?”

Alex’s face is too solemn to be considered serious. “They were fighting. I can’t leave them fighting.”

Kara smiles at that, kneeling by one of the armies. “I guess not. How can we help them no fight?”

Alex shrugs. “Lady McCotton doesn’t know. Help her.” She looks around, almost as if she is looking for spies to overhear her. “She thinks they are lonely.”

Kara nods. She remembers what Nia said about Fluffy talking for Alex and so, she tries to understand what is happening to Alex to make her toys lonely.

She can only come up with Alex feeling separated from Kara… for whatever reason it’s happening this time.

“What about we bring Krypto here? He can make sure no one gets lonely.”

Alex’s eyes widen. Krypto is the only toy Kara has kept from the time her parents lived. It is Kara’s most precious possession and she offering Alex to have it is a huge deal. The small dog usually sits on the vanity at Kara’s studio and is a constant on all her videos.

“Can he?” Alex asks in a small voice.

Kara nods again. “Of course he can. Would you fetch him? I’ll make sure everyone behaves here.”

Alex launches at Kara, forcing the older girl to hug her tight. “Thanks,” she mumbles on Kara’s shoulder.

Kara kisses the top of her head. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

Kara pats Alex’s butt softly. “Go fetch Krypto, Bubba. We should leave soon.”

“… Kay?”

“Yes, love?”

“… nothing.”

Alex is up and running in an instant, leaving a slightly confused Kara behind.

Where is Alex’s mind wandering off to, now?

XxXxX

“Come, come! Hurry!”

Kara laughs, letting herself be dragged around.

She’s sporting her newly bought Hufflepuff robe to Alex’s Slytherin one and her hand, the one Alex is using to drag her, holds her just-out-of-the-box wand. Her other hand, obviously, is holding the camera that’s recording the whole thing.

“And here,” she says to their future public. “It’s a wild Alex hyped on too much Harry Potter and the promises of fun!”

“Kara!” Alex laughs at her description, waving her own wand to the camera. “And behind the camera we have the old crone that’s one Kara being all grumpy!”

“Hey!”

Alex smiles wide to the camera and a part of Kara wants this footage not to go on the Internet. “We have a busy day ahead of us! We are riding the Forbidden Journey and the Flight of the Hippogriff and I’m making Kara ride them with me!”

“Oh no!” Kara laughs, moving the camera so she can come into focus. “This one is riding alone, I’ll wait on the safe ground with all our stuff.”

Kara isn’t prepared to be attacked at that moment. Alex launches at her, hanging from her neck and sneaking her legs around her middle. Kara almost stumbles, but manages to hold onto Alex like all the times she’s done so.

“Alex!”

Alex presses her cheek to Kara’s, making both their snapbacks go askew. “She says that now, but she’ll cave.” She turns to pepper Kara’s cheek in kisses. “I’ll make her ride with me!”

Kara can’t help but laugh.

And wish this part of the footage is kept just for them.

XxXxX

In the end, Kara rides the attractions with Alex.

In the end, the one feeling sick is not Kara, but Alex.

They just got out the Flight of the Hippogriff, which Alex recorded every minute of with the GoPro when Alex whimpers.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Kara pauses in changing the batteries on their main camera.

Alex’s nose scrunches up. “Hurts.”

Kara is in instant panic mode. “What does it hurt?”

Alex’s lip quivers as she points to her middle.

“Your tummy hurts?”

Alex nods miserably.

Kara breathes a little easier. She puts the camera away in her small backpack and hugs Alex to her, rubbing her stomach. “I told you no to eat all that cotton candy in the line,” she scolds gently.

Alex whines. “But it was sliver and green!” she explains herself.

Kara rolls her eyes fondly. “And?”

“… and I shouldn’t have eaten it all before riding a rollercoaster.”

“Good girl,” she murmurs on her hair. She releases the girl and grabs her hand. “Come on. Let’s sit in the shade for a little while.”

Alex nods and for the first time inside the park, lets herself be led around, rubbing at her eye.

Kara smiles at the sight.

Even when her schedules have practically gone back to normal, Alex still takes a midday nap most days. With all the excitement and the early wakeup to reach the park at a decent hour, Alex is no doubt tired already.

The small yawn that Alex squeaks out is proof enough of that.

Kara finds them a bench behind one of the stores where the shade is good and they are not too close to all the bustle and hustle. She’s not really surprised that Alex plonks on her lap the moment she’s sitting.

Alex doesn’t like to sit on her own most of the time now.

Kara’s arms go around her. She starts moving her legs, making a soft rocking motion for the girl. “What do you want to do now?” she asks gently. “We bought the robes and wands, and we rode the rides.”

Alex snuggles close to Kara and rubs her nose on her shoulder. “Butterbeer,” she announces quietly. “Zonko’s.”

Kara nods. She can see from the corner of her eye people looking at them, but no one looks perplexed or even bothered to look at them for more than a second. She doesn’t know if they look like the sisters they are or like a couple, but for the moment that doesn’t matter. She wants to cuddle her girl.

“We can do that,” she confirms just as quietly, playing shapes on Alex’s tummy with her fingers. “How about an early diner at the Three Broomsticks?”

Alex grunts, wiggling slightly in place at the slight tickles. “Need reservation.”

Kara smiles against Alex’s hair. It smells faintly of her floral shampoo, buried in clean sweat and smog. She can’t wait to wash it tonight. “But what if I have reservations?”

Alex body tenses at that. Peeking up at her, she beams. “Really?”

“Really. We need to be there at five thirty.”

“Yes!”

Kara laughs. “Now, how about you close your eyes for me for a couple of minutes?”

Alex’s excitement sours a little at that. “I’m not napping here,” she protests with a small pout.

Kara pecks her nose. “I know. But you need the rest. So, close your eyes for a little bit and then we’ll go shopping, okay?”

The promise of no nap seems to mollify Alex, so she nods and cuddles closer to Kara’s chest. One hand fists Kara’s robe and the other rests on the hand Kara has over her tummy rubbing soothing circles. She closes her eyes, resting her head on Kara’s shoulder.

She’s out cold in less than a minute.

Kara smiles tenderly.

She’s letting Alex nap for half an hour, then, they’ll go shopping and then eating and then home.

Today’s looking to be a good day.

She takes her phone and snaps a selfie with the slumbering girl on her lap.

Alex looks just too cute in her robes and sleeping with her mouth slightly open.

Her heart clenches looking at the picture.

She doesn’t want to share this with anyone.

Still, she’ll ask if she can post it on Instagram… it’s the right thing to do. She can’t hog the girl forever.

She really hopes Alex says no.

XxXxX

“KayKay, look!”

Kara looks from where she’s been inspecting the different chocolates to see Alex holding a small box of jelly candy.

She scrunches up her nose. “Are those…?”

Alex grins wide. “Yep!! Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans!” She shakes the box. “We are taking two and traying them in a video!”

Kara shakes her head. “You can do the video on your own. I’m not tasting those.”

Alex pouts. “But’s not fun doing it alone.”

“You can ask Lucy to help you. Or Nia. Nia likes trying weird stuff.”

Alex’s pout turns into a grin.

Ever since Nia gave Alex Fluffy she had become Alex’s hero. Alex has taken to text Nia through the day and Nia, amazing Nia, always spare a moment to text back. They have a pending diner date with her and if Kara wouldn’t have explained how Nia is busy with school, Kara’s certain Alex would have Nia over daily.

Which is funny, because the moment Nia gets close to Alex, Alex becomes a bumbling, blushing mess.

Kara’s not sure if Alex is crushing on Nia or she’s simply reverting to the shy kid she once was.

Either way, Nia is always caring and tender towards Alex, so that’s a relationship Kara wants to develop no matter what.

Alex needs more caring people in her corner.

“You think she’d try them with me?” Alex asks in a tiny voice.

Kara smiles. “You can totally ask her when we get home, don’t you think?”

Alex pouts again. “Why couldn’t I bring my phone?”

“Because we didn’t want you to lose it like you did last one.”

Alex’s pout becomes more pronounced. “But I take care of my things.”

Kara pats the top of her head. “I know, Bubba, but, can you remind me how you lost your last phone?”

Alex’s scrunches up her nose in distaste. “It flew out when I rode the Viper last summer.”

“Exactly. We didn’t want your phone flying away this time too, right?”

Alex sighs. “No.” She peeks at Kara through the visor of her snapback. “Why don’t you ever lose your phone?” she asks, truly curious.

“Because I’m the responsible adult in this relationship.”

Alex nods at that, taking the truth at face value. She looks at the chocolates Kara was checking out. “Can we bring some of those?”

Kara takes some chocolate frogs in her hands. “Of course. But,” she adds, turning her voice stern, “no matter what we take home, you are not allowed to eat it in one go.”

Alex’s eyes widen. “Why not?”

Kara’s eyebrow raises. “Really, Alex? Did you forget your tummy ache from this morning?”

“Really, Kara?” Alex sasses back. “I’m not riding any ride at home, am I?”

Kara has to laugh at that one. “You are such a brat,” she pokes the girl’s nose. “Still, you won’t eat all the candies in one go.”

Alex scrunches up her nose. “But why?”

“You know your tummy ache was not due the ride, but the candy alone. It was a massive blob of sugar cotton.”

“It was in Slytherin colors!”

Kara rolls her eyes. “Come here, menace.” She tugs Alex to her side, hugging her. “Grab whatever you want. We have twenty minutes before our reservations.”

“That’s a yes to eating all the candy?”

“No, Alex.”

“But-”

“Nuh-uh. Keep it up and we can leave here without _any_ candy.”

Alex gasps and dashes away from Kara, no doubt to try and pick the most candies before they have to leave for the Three Broomsticks.

Kara smiles.

Her Alex, the cheerful, funny, fiery, smiley Alex is coming back. Yes, she might be acting childish, but she’s also acting free.

She’ll investigate more about this regression thing…

“Kay? Can we buy licorice wands?”

“Love, you don’t like licorice.”

“But they are a classic!”

… she’ll save the investigation for later.

Right now, she’s planning on enjoying – and spoiling – this carefree Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little filler chapter.
> 
> If you haven't noticed, I have a Harry Potter problem :)


	15. Chapter 15

“She looks happier.”

Kara hums and nods. James is back for another collab – this time they are going to record that drag tutorial, even if they die in the process – and so far Alex’s welcome has been warm and calm.

The girl is currently sitting on her beanbag in the studio, editing her own latest video and keeping to herself. Which, considering James is around, is amazing.

“I think she is,” Kara says quietly.

And that’s true.

They’ve spent so much time together the last weeks and it’s showing with how relaxed Alex is now.

When Alex first moved in, they both spent time trying to learn how to live together, and Alex had a life of her own, just like Kara.

Kara spends a lot of time in her videos, working just like anyone with a 5 to 9 job does. The last month or so being the first time she’s taken a little more time for herself and Alex.

Alex, on her part, had school and her social life, which, much to Kara’s charring, involved parties almost every week and five fingers discounts all around. Kara’s glad Alex doesn’t do addictions, with the sort of things she used to do to have fun.

Added to that, there was that slight awkwardness that lingered around them. Even when they loved each other, loved living together, loved being with the other, there was something that was simply missing.

The whole sending-Alex-to-juvie scare made Kara take matters in her own hands and since then, everything changed.

For good.

A tiny voice in the back of her head whispers that maybe Kara taking control has been what Alex’s been asking for all this time.

The rest of her yells over that voice that she’s a coward.

She’s still reluctant on investigating deep into regression like Nia suggested.

James picks on the yearning in her tone and doesn’t inquires. Instead, he asks, “Think she’d be a willing canvas for us?”

Kara shrugs. “Hey, Alex,” she calls loud enough to be heard under Alex’s headphones.

“Yeah?” she asks, lowering the headset from her head with one hand, the other too busy holding Fluffy in place.

“We want you to help with the tutorial.”

“… what do you want me to do?”

“Be a pretty face and stay still…?” James asks.

Alex pouts. “Can’t I just watch?”

James pouts back. “It’s easier to work on someone else, and both Kara and I planned on applying different technics into the one look. You’ll help us lots.”

Alex looks at Kara with a contemplative look. “I demand potstickers for dinner,” she says to James.

“Deal,” he says before Kara can protest.

Kara glares at Alex. They just had sushi yesterday and Alex knows she doesn’t like to order in that often. “Alex,” she scolds. “We are having fish and broccoli.”

Alex shrugs. “He said yes already.”

“That doesn’t matter. If I say we are having fish and broccoli, we are having that.”

“Don’t worry, Kara.” James smiles down at Alex. “It’s only fair we pay our model.”

Kara has to stifle a little flame of irritation over James’ statement.

“Yes!” Alex fist-bumps.

“Come then, monster,” Kara mutters. “We are ready to start.”

Alex closes her laptop and places Fluffy on top of it. She scrambles to sit on the stool Kara always uses for recording and smiles cutely to the annoyed Kara. She eyes the pallets all around and one in particular catches her eye. “Can I choose my colors?”

James shares a wide grin with Kara, wiggling his eyebrows.

Kara glares at him. He’s not helping at all.

Last time she let Alex choose her palette, the girl’s colors clashed so badly she ended up looking like a cross between a zombie and a racoon. “Show me what you’re thinking, and we’ll see if we can make it happen, okay?”

Alex wastes no time to grab a soft blue box and trust it to James, followed by a wintery one that’s mostly whites and greys. “These ones.”

Kara blinks.

That’s a really normal pattern.

An awfully familiar, normal pattern.

“Good choice, kiddo,” James compliments her, ruffling her hair. “Too bad you’re a redhead… otherwise you’d make an amazing Elsa.”

Oh. So that’s why the palette is familiar.

Alex’s eyes widen. “You think?”

James’ eyes catch Kara again, his grin too big for his face. “Hell, yeah, sister.”

“Can you still try?”

“Who do you think you’re talking to, Alf? Of course we can! In fact, I bet you’ll end prettier than Elsa by the time we are done.”

“Please do it!”

Kara is amazed. This is the very first time Alex has been this agreeable with James. It’s feels like looking at James interact with his own little sister.

Too bad James is enabling Alex.

Alex’s focus then turns to Kara. “Can you?”

Kara blinks. “Can I what?”

“Make me pretty like Elsa?”

Kara smiles at that, her annoyance forgotten for the moment. She looks at James and his soft, understanding eyes show her that he’s enjoying this rare moment of Alex liking him.

Kara combs her fingers through Alex hair, her eyes on James. “What about doing a Frozen tutorial instead?”

That drag tutorial is never gonna get done.

XxXxX

“No!” Alex ducks under her arm and sprints to the other side of the living room.

Kara groans and James’ laughter becomes louder.

“Come here, Alex.” Kara rubs her temples.

This dance has gone on for about half an hour now. Recording is done and the final product is Alex looking like a redheaded Elsa. Alex’s hair is long and silky, so Kara had no trouble in gathering it up in Elsa’s braid and James did an amazing job with the eyeliner and eye shadows… which led to Alex not wanting to get rid of the look anytime soon.

“Noooooo.”

Kara has been chasing the girl ever since they were done with their potstickers, trying to wipe her face of both soy sauce and the makeup. It’s bath time and she refuses to let the girl go in without properly taking care of her skin first.

She can feel a migraine building.

“Alex!” Kara snaps. “It’s nearing your bedtime. I need to clean your face. Now.”

Alex’s eyes start watering then. “Noooo…”

Kara glares at James when he starts choking on his own mirth. “You. Shut it!”

“But-But-” James can’t finish the sentence before collapsing sideways on the couch in laughter.

Alex, smart and sneaky, Alex, makes a dash for the back of the apartment, no doubt to lock herself in her room.

But Kara knew this is going to happen, so she simply hauls the girl by the middle the moment she passes by. With one arm, she hugs Alex close to her, while her other hand delivers a resounding spank to her behind. “Enough.”

Alex’s breathe catches and she starts crying on the spot.

Somedays, it feels like Alex is acting like a young teen, and somedays it feels like Kara’s taking care of a toddler.

Right now, Kara knows she’s going to be dealing with toddler Alex.

Kara sighs as Alex turns in her arm to clutch at her blouse, nosing her collarbone. She rubs her back, murmuring softly, “Will you behave now?”

Alex sniffs and nods.

“Good girl. Come, let’s clean your face and get you in the tub.”

Alex lets herself be led into the bathroom, tears ruining the make up. She’s sat on the toilet, where Kara starts on cleaning her face.

“KayKay?” she asks as Kara wipes the foundation and mascara off.

“Yes?”

She sniffs again. “You mad?”

Kara doesn’t stop in her soft wiping. “No baby. Just a little disappointed,” she says quietly. “You didn’t listen to me.”

Alex’s tears start running down her cheeks faster. “’M sorry.”

Kara gets rid of the last of the eyeshadow, trying to avoid the tears and making sure nothing goes into the girl’s eyes. She sighs. “I know.” She trashes the last of the wipes and turns to the tub. “Go get your pajamas. I don’t want you running naked with James around.”

Alex whimpers, but for the first time in the evening, she obeys.

Kara waits for her, filling the tub and making sure there’s enough bubble bath in the water to smell nice but not enough to make a lot of bubbles.

“Kay,” Alex mumbles, handing her the folded clothes and Kara can see the pull-up in between the folds.

“Thank you, Alex,” Kara murmurs back. She raises and helps Alex out her clothes, lifting her easily in the tub. “Let’s have a quick bath.”

Alex is still crying and she nods. She doesn’t move when Kara washes and conditions her hair, nor when she scrub down her body. She just keeps crying silently.

Soon enough, Kara is lifting her again and wrapping her in a towel. She sits on the toilet seat and places Alex between her legs. With gently pats, she dries the girl and puts some lotion on her skin. She puts Alex’s tank top easily over her head, but when she’s about to prompt Alex into her pull ups, Alex shakes her head.

“What now?” Kara asks, not in the mood to deal with another pull-up tantrum.

Alex hiccups and, surprising the heck out of Kara, she dives on her lap, laying across Kara’s legs and grabbing one of her ankles for support.

“Alex?”

Alex’s cries become a little louder, and she shifts just barely in place. “Kay mad,” she whimpers.

Kara shakes her head. “What?”

Alex whimpers harder. “Kay mad. Spank.”

And with that, all of Kara’s exasperation flies out the window. “Oh no, baby.” She lays a hand on Alex’s lower back, rubbing gently. “No, love. Get up.”

Alex’s little cries turn to sobbing. “You m-mad,” she chokes out.

Kara’s heart shatters. “Yes, baby,” she concedes. “But I’m not spanking you. Now, please get up.”

Alex shakes her head.

“Alex.”

The girl doesn’t move.

Kara is tempted to go ahead with the spanking, if only to have the girl obeying this time… but this feels wrong.

“Baby, I’m not going to spank you.” She uses her hand to start rubbing gently at Alex’s butt, hoping to calm her down. “Spankings are so you think twice before being naughty. What you did today doesn’t warrant a spanking, love.”

Alex whimpers and shivers. She squeezes the ankle she’s holding and reaches the other to scratch her cheek.

Kara gives the butt before her a light slap. “Don’t scratch, Alex.”

Alex jumps and freezes for a second before she’s scratching her cheek with purpose.

Okay, no. That won’t do.

It takes a bit of juggling and heaving, but Kara manages to right a struggling Alex on her lap, cuddling her to her chest and trapping Alex’s arms between them. “Stop it!” Alex struggles harder. “Alexandra! Stop it!” she yells.

Alex stops all movement, choking in thin air.

Kara relaxes just barely. “Listen to me, Alexandra,” she starts sternly. “You will not scratch your cheeks again, understood?”

Alex shivers.

“Do. You. Understand?” She shakes the girl.

Alex hiccups.

“Alexandra.”

Alex nods.

“Use your words,” Kara commands lowly.

“Y-Yes, Kara.”

Kara breathes more easily at that. She wasn’t planning on punishing the girl at all, but maybe that was miscalculation on her part.

She will rectify that.

Alex is begging for a punishment with how she’s acting…

“Here is what’s going to happen,” Kara states, her voice still as hard as stone. “I’m going to dress you and then you’ll go to the corner to think on why you need to listen. You didn’t listen when I asked to clean your face and you didn’t listen when I told you no to the potstickers. You didn’t listen either when I told you not to scratch. So, you’ll go to the corner and think and, after you’ve done your time, we’ll talk. Understood?”

Alex nods minutely.

“Words, Alex. Use your words.”

Alex looks down. “Yes, Kara,” she mumbles.

Kara stands Alex up and dresses her quickly. She takes a moment to drain the tub and then she’s taking Alex to her room. She places her in her usual corner, between the bookcase and the closet, and presses her head to the wall.

“You know the rules,” Kara murmurs. She rubs her hand down Alex’s back. “I’ll be back in five minutes.”

Alex whimpers. “Nooo.”

“Alex.”

Alex turns around, latching onto Kara’s blouse. “No leave.”

Kara exhales. “Baby, you are doing corner time now. I can’t be here. You have some thinking to do.”

Alex shakes her head, tears going down her cheeks. “Pwease. No leave.”

Kara hugs Alex to her, rubbing her back gently. “This is a punishment, Alex. You need to do it on your own.”

Alex starts sobbing again.

Kara kisses her temple. “I need you to stand in your corner.” She eyes Krypto, still sitting on top Alex’s bookcase, overseeing the room. “Krypto will keep an eye on you, okay?”

Alex peeks at the well-loved dog and sniffs.

“See? He’s already keeping an eye on you. Go to your corner now, Alex. I’ll be back in five minutes.”

Alex nods reluctantly. She takes her position facing the wall and sniffs quietly.

Kara runs her hand along her back one last time before leaving to the living room.

She expects to find James scrolling through Netflix, but what she finds is a clean kitchen a little note pined to the fridge.

‘ _Guessed you two needed to be on your own for now,’_ the note reads, ‘ _Put the leftover chicken in the fridge and took the Cho Mein home. I’m sorry if I caused any trouble.’_

Kara sighs relieved at that. She was planning on asking James to leave so she could focus sorely on Alex, but apparently he picked up on what’s going on.

She sends a quick text to him, letting him know they needed to talk later and then used the rest of her five minutes to center herself.

Alex asking for a spanking is a once in a lifetime thing and she won’t deny she’s a little scared.

She doesn’t understand why Alex would do that.

She does understand why Alex would scratch her cheek when she was told not to, though. She knows Alex believed she’s spank her if she scratched enough, even when Kara would never do that and Kara doesn’t understand how Alex reached that conclusion.

She understands her misbehaving with James as her enabler, but the rest of the night is simply too much for her to wrap her mind around.

She looks at the time and realizes there’s a girl she needs to take care of.

She takes a deep breathe and goes fetch her baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know...
> 
> Most of what I'm writing, I feel like I'm rushing it... like, I'm not taking the time for the scenes and character development to flow naturally...
> 
> ... however, I don't want this story to spiral that all my other stories... to it to become so grand I cannot longer keep writing it.
> 
> So, let me know how you're feeling the pace? Please?
> 
> I'm also debating Alex's sexuality in this story. I'd love to keep her attracted to girls, but I also think it'd be cool for her to be asexual/not interested in either... because, well, she's regressing and even she'll end up admitting she's too young to be crushing on people. I don't know.
> 
> This story has also, officially, grown a mind on its own.
> 
> I was planning on taking this one direction and, of course, the characters wouldn't let me. Oh, well, hope it's still to your tastes.
> 
> And, lastly, I just want to note that I just realized like 80% of this story takes place in either a bathroom or a bed. I think I have a slight fixation.
> 
> Oh! and I'm always looking for people to throw ideas back and forth... so, if you wanna chat, I'm open. I might even reactivate my tumblr account.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today's chapter is shorter, but it needed to be done AND it came to a natural end when it did.
> 
> So.
> 
> If pressed enough, I might drop two chapters tomorrow :)

Kara sits on the couch, with a sniffing Alex crying on her lap.

She took Alex from the corner and lead her to the living room. She feels off scolding Alex in either of their rooms, so she’s doing it in the living room, a place that’s neutral and still theirs.

“Can you tell me why I sent you to the corner?” Kara asks, rubbing Alex’s back.

Alex inhales shakily. “B-Because I don’t listen.”

“Good girl. You don’t listen. And, can you tell me why it’s important to listen?”

Alex nibbles in her lower lip for a couple of minutes and Kara waits patiently for her to think on the answer. Finally, Alex shakes her head. “I don’t know,” she admits in a murmur.

“Good girl, Alex, for telling me you don’t know and not lying.” Kara kisses the top of Alex’s head. “Listen carefully, love.”

Alex nods.

“Listening to me is important because that way, I know you are safe. When you listen to me in the small things, like when I say no take out, or when I ask you to clean your face, I know that you’ll listen when I ask you to do something that will keep you safe and sound. Do you understand?”

Alex rubs her nose on Kara’s shoulder. “Like when you tell me not to leave your side?”

“Exactly. And like when I tell you to eat your broccoli.”

“I ate my broccoli tonight,” Alex mumbles.

“Yes, love, but that doesn’t negate that you and James went against me to have potstickers.”

Alex nods again. “I understand. ’M sorry.”

Kara pecks her forehead. “Thank you. You did your corner time, baby. You are forgiven.”

Kara feels how all the tension leaves Alex’s body.

“Now,” Kara continues, “I need you to listen to me again. Can you do that?”

Alex cuddles close to her chest. “Ye.”

Kara starts rocking them side to side. “Baby, you need to understand that I am the one that will choose your punishments.” Alex tenses again. Kara kisses the top of her head again. “Just like you need to listen to me, you need to accept my punishments as I see them fit. Sometimes, I’ll think a little time out will be all you need, sometimes, I’ll think it’s going to be corner time and sometimes, like you well know, I’ll think a spanking will be in order. Do you understand that, Alex? Use your words.”

Alex trembles in her arms and clutches at Kara’s blouse. She sucks on her lower lip, thinking hard. “Why?” she asks.

“Why what, love?”

“… why you telling me this?”

Kara nuzzles Alex soft hair. “Because I love you and I want you to learn to behave. I don’t want you to think everything will be solved with a spanking. Sometimes it’s not the punishment you need.”

“… but you were mad…”

Kara frowns. “What does that mean, love?”

Alex fidgets. She hides her face on Kara’s neck as her tears start to fall again.

Kara sighs. She starts patting Alex’s butt, trying to coax her to open up. To calm down. “Please, baby, help me understand.”

Alex’s hand goes to her cheek, but before Kara can scold her, she moves her fingers to her mouth, biting on them and muffling her sobs.

Kara doesn’t know if she likes this stim better.

Kara grabs the hand and kisses Alex’s palm. “Please, love.”

Alex whimpers.

“Please.”

Alex turns her face against Kara’s blouse, nibbling on the fabric.

Kara sighs again.

Kara keeps rocking them side to side, waiting to see if Alex would stop crying. “Alex, please, talk to me.”

Kara simply feels Alex sucking at her blouse.

Kara scrunches up her nose. She doesn’t think her blouse is clean enough for Alex to be sucking on it. At least Alex is no longer hurting herself.

“Fine,” Kara relents after a little while. Alex is not talking and it’s getting late and her migraine is still there and she just want to hold her girl.

She can admit defeat sometimes.

With little effort, Kara carries Alex to her own room, gently laying her in her bed. Tonight is not a night to sleep alone.

There’s a small struggle when Alex won’t let go of her blouse, but brushing her thumb along Alex’s lips does the trick. She switches her rubbing to Alex’s forehead, willing her to close her eyes and stop the tears from leaking.

“Shh, shh, baby.”

Alex curls on herself, facing Kara.

“Shh, my love.”

“K-Kay…”

“Easy, I’m here.”

Alex opens one arm, reaching out for Kara and Kara slides easily next to her, holding Alex again against her chest.

Alex hiccups and shivers.

Kara pats Alex’s butt gently and she closes her eyes. She starts a soft hum at the back of her throat.

Before she can think it twice, words are leaving Kara’s mouth in a soft, deep sound.

“Dandini dandini dastana, danalar girmis bostana. Kov bostanci danayi, yemesin lahanayi.”

Alex’s stares at Kara with heavy eyes.

Kara brushes some hair out Alex’s face, kissing her forehead in the process.

“Dandini dandini danali bebek, mini mini elleri kinali bebek. Annesi babasi cok sever, uyusun da buyusun nazli bebek.”

Alex burrows closer to Kara, sneaking an arm between their bodies, and hugging Kara with the other.

Kara nuzzles Alex’s hair, murmuring her singing against her scalp.

“Dandini dandini danadan, bir ay dogmus anadan. Kacinmamis yaradan, mevlam korusun nazardan.”

Alex’s hand finds its way to her mouth again, nibbling on the tip of her thumb.

Kara’s own hand goes under Alex’s top, caressing her back.

“Uyusun da buyusun nenni, tipis tipis yurusun nenni. Okula da gitsin nenni, uyu da buyu yawrum nenni.”

Alex’s breathing deepens, tangling her legs with Kara’s.

Kara’s lips mumble the last of her song, before too falling asleep.

XxXxX

“Fluffy has a secret.”

Kara looks at Alex, hovering at the entrance of the laundry room, with the plushie in her arms.

These are the first words that Alex has said since last night.

Kara closes the washing machine’s door and turns to face the girl. She opens her arms and Alex waits no time rushing into the hug. She runs her hand along Alex’s back and picks her up without hesitation.

“Yeah?” Kara keeps a good grip on both of them, bouncing them into place. “Do you think she can share her secret with us?” she whispers in her ear.

Nia’s prediction that Fluffy would speak for Alex has become a norm around the house most days. She should’ve have questioned Fluffy last night why Alex would ask for a spanking, but she doubted Alex, or Fluffy, could’ve voice it.

Alex nods shyly, cuddling into Kara’s shoulder as she rubbed Fluffy’s ears.

Kara places them again on the couch, cradling Alex in her lap just as she were a toddler. She kisses the top of Alex’s head and the top of Fluffy’s.

Turning her attention to the bunny, she speaks softly, “Hello, Lady Fluffy… is there anything you want to tell us?”

Alex moves Fluffy to face them. She frowns and glares at the bunny. “Tell her,” she says sullenly, shaking the plushie ever so slightly.

Kara starts combing her fingers through Alex’s hair. “Don’t get mad at her, _minnoş_. Sometimes speaking is hard.”

Alex’s lip quivers and her eyes become glassy. “But she said she’d share!”

Kara presses her lips to Alex’s forehead. “I know love. But, sometimes it’s scary speaking, don’t you think?”

Alex sniffs and nods.

“See? It’s okay if Fluffy won’t share right now. She’ll share later. And we’ll be here to listen when she does.”

Alex rubs at her eye. Her sleep was not the most restful last night. “But she wanted to share now…”

Kara rocks them from side to side. “That’s very brave of her… but she doesn’t have to do it right now.”

Alex stares at the bunny, leaning all her weight on Kara and sighing deeply. She frowns for a second, before pulling Fluffy’s mouth to her ear.

She gasps.

Looking at Kara, Alex announces, “She told me the secret.”

Kara makes her eyes go wide. “That’s awesome!”

Alex nods solemnly. “She wants me to tell you.”

“Really? What she said?”

Kara braces not to react to whatever Alex throws at her now.

“Fluffy says that, when people are mad, hitting makes them better.”

Okay, that was not something she was expecting. At all.

“How so, honey? Can you explain it to me?”

Ales wiggles. “Angry people become happy people if they hit who made them angry,” she explains as easily as she could.

Kara nods. “So, if mad people hit other people, they stop being angry?” she asks for clarification.

Alex nods back. “Yes.”

Kara kisses the top of Fluffy’s head. “Thank you for telling us your secret, Lady Fluffy.” She switches and kisses between Alex’s brows. “Thank you for telling me.”

Alex cuddles close to her. Her hand starts playing with Kara’s loose hair. “You were mad last night,” she announces quietly.

Kara’s breath hitches.

So that’s what this secret is about.

“… so, you thought me hitting you would make me happy?” Kara asks just as quietly.

Alex hesitates for a second, before nodding.

Kara clutches Alex tight to her body. “No, love. No. It would make me very sad if I ever hit you out of anger.”

“…why?”

“Because hitting is not a punishment. Hitting just for hitting isn’t born out of love. Hitting for the sake of it is born of a evil worm inside peoples hearts.” Kara pats Alex butt gently. “When I spank you, love, it’s for you to realize you did something wrong, not for me to feel better. If I were to spank you for my own needs, I’d be a monster.”

Alex gasps, launching to hug Kara’s neck. “You no monster.”

“And because I’m no monster, I’m not hitting you for my own sake. Can you understand that, _minnoş_?”

Alex nods.

“Can you repeat it for me?”

“Hitting is not a punishment.”

“And?”

“You won’t hit me to feel better?”

“Good girl.” She kisses the side of Alex’s head. “Now, Fluffy and you were very brave telling me this. Thank you, baby.”

Alex blushes and nods again. “We love cha.”

Kara smiles. “And I love you too.”

Alex is not a violent person, she knows Alex is not the one hitting people around, she doesn’t know where she could get that idea.

However, Kara decides not to delve into why Alex thinks hitting someone to feel better is the way to go.

They opened one can of worms today.

Any other can wait at least one more day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... 
> 
> A little about myself: i'm obsessed with lullabies and languages.
> 
> In every story (or series) I write, I include a lullaby of some sort and every chance I get, I make my characters bilingual. If you've read my others works, you've noticed this.
> 
> So far I've worked with Gaelish and Kryptonese. Now is Turkish time!
> 
> In this story Kara is of Turkish ascent, meaning she grew up for the first ten years of her life in a Turkish-speaking household. Hence, Kara is remembering a lullaby from her childhood right here.
> 
> The lullaby is called Dandini Dastana and it translate roughly as this (according to Google):
> 
> _Dandini dandini Dastana  
>  The cattle trespassed into the watermelon field  
> Hey the farmer, kick out the cattle  
> Before they eat up all the greens_
> 
> _Eee eee eee e  
>  Eee eee eee e_
> 
> _Dandini dandini danali bebek  
>  Baby with tiny little henna hands  
> Loved by both her mother and father  
> Let her sleep and grow up_
> 
> _Eee eee eee e  
>  Eee eee eee e_
> 
> _Dandini dandini danadan  
>  She is as beautiful as shining moon  
> God gave her all the beauty  
> Let god protect her from evil eye_
> 
> _Eee eee eee e  
>  Eee eee eee e_
> 
> So, yeah.
> 
> Expect more Turkish from now on. :)
> 
> Also, _minnoş_ 's meaning will be explained later in the story.
> 
> You can hear the lullaby [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhooZGye0BQ).


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's 20 to midnight here, so I'm considering this 'tomorrow'.
> 
> This is the first chapter promised for may 14 :)
> 
> Enjoy.

“You have to be shitting me.”

Alex pops her head from over the side of the couch to look at Kara worriedly. “Kay?”

Kara’s working on the kitchen table for once, partly to keep an eye on the oven and her first foray into making bread, and partly to keep an eye on Alex and _her_ first foray into acrylic painting.

She loves Alex, she does, but she knows her sister and how she can be a messy mess.

Kara groans. “Landlady emailed.” She rubs at her temples. “Our contract ends next month, and she won’t be renewing it.”

Alex gasps, getting up quickly from the floor and knocking one can of paint on the floor… and making Kara glad she put a plastic cover under the coffee table and over the carpet.

Although, with the email she just received, she kinda wants Alex to mess the pretty white carpet.

Alex scrambles to sit on her lap, reading the screen on her laptop. “What a bitch,” she mutters. “She doesn’t even give a reason why she’s kicking us out!”

Kara slaps the side of her thigh. “Language.”

Alex scowls at Kara. She points to the screen. “She deserves it.”

Kara sighs. “She does.”

She looks around their place.

She’s been living in this apartment for almost a year and she has built memories since.

Like choosing all the furniture she needed for her studio with Alex’s help.

Like recording with James once a week.

Like throwing Alex’s a surprise sixteen birthday party.

Like Alex moving in with her.

Like Alex almost making a hole in the wall on her first week in.

Like diner every night with Alex.

Like, building a life with the girl in the last eight months.

But, at the same time… the apartment has been just a place for her to live those memories, no?

The walls around them hold no pictures.

There are no decorations that could make the place theirs.

Their bedrooms are sparse, the only splash of color being their beddings and, in Alex’s case, her bookcase with her toys.

But those toys have been around for only a month.

The main bathroom is the most colorful place in whole apartment and that’s because they both have all their products sprawled in every surface available.

And those products will be going wherever they go.

Kara hugs the fuming Alex to her chest, kissing her temple.

“Ready to go apartment hunting, _minnoş_?”

Alex pouts. “I like our home.”

Kara nuzzles her temple. “What do you like about it?”

Alex thinks for a moment, her hands playing with Kara’s finger over her stomach. “Our tub,” she decides.

“Then we’ll find somewhere with a big tub. Big enough so we can bath together sometimes. What else?”

“My room.”

“What do you like about it?”

“It’s mine.”

Kara nods, understanding that too well. Ever since Alex was a baby she’s been sharing her space with someone. First it was Kara, then it was Susan and just before she come live with her, she was sharing with a girl her age called Vicky.

Alex never had her own space until now.

“But, is there something in special you like about your room? The closet? The view?”

Alex shakes her head. “It’s mine.”

Kara smiles sadly at that. “But whenever we go, you’ll have your own room too. You know that, right?”

Alex hesitates a second, before nodding. “Yeah.”

“What else do you like?”

“Our TV and couch.”

“Those are coming with us.”

“My bed.”

“Also coming with.”

“Your bed?”

“It’d be pretty sad if I was to sleep on the floor, don’t you think?”

Alex giggles. “Fluffy and Krypto and Elsa and Anna and Rupert and Bernie and the buzzheads also moving with us?”

“Of course… unless you think they will make a run for it like Buzz and Woody. Then, they might show up later at our new home on their own.”

That makes Alex’s eye go wide. “I need to put my name on their shoes.”

“That’s smart. Yes.”

Alex nods resolutely. Then a thought crosses her mind. “What ‘bout your studio?”

Kara smiles wide. “You can totally help me with building a new one, don’t you think?”

Alex nods again. “And we can make a house tour!” she exclaims happily.

“Heck yeah we can. So, we need a place with at least three bedrooms, a huge tub and room for our couch and TV. Anything else?”

“… can we look for some place with a yard?”

Kara blinks at that. “You want to look for a house instead of an apartment?”

Neither of them has ever lived in a house.

“… can we?”

Kara kisses the skin between earnest eyes. “We can try. Getting a house this part of city is kinda hard.”

Alex nuzzles Kara’s chin. “Do we have to stay here?”

“Alex?”

The girl looks away, biting her lip. “You said we could move so I don’t see Max and Siob again…”

Oh.

_Oh._

“We can totally do that.” Kara engulfs Alex in her arms, rocking her slightly. “Do you think he’ll try hurt you again?” she asks quietly.

Alex shrugs. “Max is Max. He bullied Barry into changing schools.”

Kara sighs. She hugs Alex tighter. “I don’t know how you were friends with him.”

“He is fun.”

“Meaning he likes doing reckless stuff.”

“… yeah.”

Kara kisses the top of her head. “Alright. We are officially house hunting. Anything else you want in the house?”

“A cat.”

Kara snorts. “Not a chance, Bubba. That’s something we are not getting.”

Alex pouts.

“Put that away.”

Alex sighs. “Fiiiiine.”

Kara just kisses the top of her head again. “You still seeing Lucy for movies tonight?”

“If you let me.”

Kara’s heart swells at that statement.

She doesn’t think she’s ever been possessive of anyone. She’s never felt the pull to monitor any of her lovers, and she is a firm believer that every person is their own and don’t need to answer to anybody else… but Alex so easily giving Kara the power to chose if she can go out…

She knows it’s part of the rules to ask permission to party, but she never said anything about simply hanging out with friends.

Alex was the one to come up with that.

Kara knows it’s not possessiveness what’s making her heart soar, but she can’t name what it is, so she doesn’t delve on it.

“Of course you can go, love.”

“Can you drop me off?”

“At her house, right?” Honestly, the only reason she’s letting Alex go is because the girls are staying in.

This is the first time Alex will go out on her own since the party, but the fact that she’ll be Lucy is what makes Kara willing to let her go.

Alex nods. “Lois and their dad are out of town for the weekend, so we have the place to ourselves.”

Kara nods back. “I can drive you there.” Kara bounces Alex with her legs. “Do you think you’d like to spend the night with Lucy?” It’s a long shot, but she has to ask. She really doesn’t think Alex could spend the night away from her, and that’s the only reason she’s asking.

She wants Alex to sleep at home.

As in on cue, Alex blushes. “No!” She hides on Kara’s shoulder. “No.”

Kara wants to chuckle at her sister, but she refrains. She nuzzles her hair instead. “Just remember, no horror movies. _I_ still have nightmares from the one time you saw one of those.”

“Yes, Kara.”

“Good girl.”

“Kara?”

“Mmmm?”

“Your bread is burnt.”

XxXxX

“I’ll be back at midnight.”

Alex closes the car’s door to that statement, waving Kara off.

“You’re cute together,” Lucy remarks from her post just beyond the door.

Alex blushes. “Shut up.”

Lucy snorts. “It’s nice. I wish Lois was like that.” She pushes ushers Alex in. “Come in. The popcorn is just done.”

Alex saunters for the first time in the other girl’s house. It’s a little dark, and the walls have almost every inch covered in photographs. There are little trinkets on every surface, and when she’s led to the living room, the couch looks well loved and used. The carpet is faded with time and the drapes look from another era.

It’s so different from the Henshaw’s apartment where she grew up – cramped and stiff and dull and smelly –, and it’s nothing like the home she’s built with Kara – light and open and clean and safe –, but she thinks she likes Lucy’s house.

Alex drapes over the couch and she almost moans. This thing is heavenly.

Lucy chuckles, handing her a bowl with popcorn. “Yes. I know. That thing is as old as fuck, but it’s so damn comfy we can’t get rid of it.”

Alex sinks lower in it. “Please never do and let me live in it.”

Lucy actually laughs at that. “Please don’t. I don’t think dad can survive another woman in the house.”

Alex turns to her, placing the popcorn on her crossed legs. “How is it?”

“What?”

“Having a dad?” she asks truly curios. She’s never gotten the chance to ask this.

Lucy blinks at that, almost as she’s forgotten Alex is indeed a ward of the state. “Well… didn’t you have a foster dad?” she asks, a little unsure.

Alex shakes her head. “Not really. He traveled a lot. Sometimes, he’d be at the house for a couple of days before disappearing for months.”

“And your foster mom?”

“Was a bitch.”

Lucy’s eyebrows raise at that. “Really?”

“Yeah. She’s mean and dumb and didn’t care for us as long as we didn’t cause trouble.”

“Bet you were her favorite.”

Alex’s smile is strained at that. She wishes she hadn’t asked about dads now. “Something like that.”

Lucy sends her a grimace of apology. “Sorry.”

Alex waves her off. “Don’t. So? Having a dad?”

Lucy scrunches up her nose. “It’s not like having a Kara,” she starts. “Or at least mine isn’t. He’s busy with his career… he’s aiming to be a General soon, so he spends a lot of time in DC. When he is around, though, all he sees is Lois. What’s she’s being doing, where she’s been, how is Clark…” Lucy shrugs. “He only notices me when I get home late, or when I get grades below perfect. So, I think your foster parents are somewhat like my dad.”

Alex lip just out, just barely, in a compassionate pout. She won’t ask about Lucy’s mom. She knows the woman passed away when her friend was thirteen.

She doesn’t really know what’s to lose a parent, but she knows that Kara misses hers a lot and that every time she speaks of them she gets that sad look on her face. She doesn’t want Lucy sad tonight and she thinks Lucy is already too close to that look already to bring her dead mother up.

“And you?” Lucy asks instead. “I’m sorry if I’m overstepping, but I’m curious how you ended up in foster care.” She blushes. “Obviously I _know,_ but like… how were they?”

Alex snorts.

People always assume her parents died some awful way, leaving her an orphan. While that’s the most common reason kids end up in the system, that wasn’t hers. “I don’t remember them,” she says easily. “They gave me up when I three. I was a year in the hospital before that and as far as I’m told, they dropped me off and never came back. Social worker hunted them down and came back with signatures and that was that.”

Lucy’s eyes are wide when she finishes her little life story.

“Yeah,” Alex chuckles. “Get that reaction a lot.”

Lucy shakes her head, as if trying to get rid of the fog in her head. She clears her throat, readying to ask one last question. “Do you know who they are?”

Alex’s head tilt to the side, before she looks away. “… no,” she whispers. Taking a shuddering breath, she continues. “I have a letter from them. J’onn, my social worker, gave it to me when I turned fifteen, but I didn’t open it.” She scratches her cheek for a second. “In fact, I gave it to Kara. Maybe she knows who they are.”

Lucy frowns. “Don’t you want to know?”

Alex looks at her hands as she plays with a piece of popcorn. “Not really,” she says quietly. “They gave up a sick baby… as far as they know I might be dead already.”

“… does it bother you? That they gave you up?” Lucy asks just before slapping her hands over her mouth. “God! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it like that! I’m so stupid!”

Alex laughs at how panicked she looks. “Chill, Luce. Sometimes I think on what life could’ve been. But I have Kara. This life gave me Kara. I don’t want anything else.”

“You too are close.”

Alex shrugs. “She took care of me always. She was there when I went live with the Henshaws and she was the one that paid attention to me. Ms. Henshaw always fosters older kids, so I was a burden for her. Kara helped.”

“Ms. Henshaw sounds like a real piece of art.”

If only you knew, Lucy…

“It doesn’t matter anymore. I live with Kara now.”

Lucy hums. “Why didn’t you move out as soon as Kara could have you?”

Alex smiles sadly. “I needed to be sixteen before I could choose where to live. Officially, I’m still a foster kid and Kara has a permit to have me based only on the fact I’m sixteen and chose to be with her. Before that, living together was impossible. Only the fact that our case worker is the same made it possible for Kara to have her permit, otherwise, I don’t think we could be together. Like, at all.”

“I-I didn’t know that.”

Alex shrugs. “No one does. Only Kara and I.”

Lucy’s voice is small when she asks, “then why tell me?”

And Alex just grins. “We are friends, aren’t we?”

Lucy grins back. “Hell yeah.” She turns to the TV, turning it on. This heart to heart has gotten too heavy for a girls’ night in. “What are we watching?”

Alex tenses for a second. The word ‘Frozen’ frozen on her lips. “Uh… whatever you want to watch?”

“What do you and Kara usually watch?”

Alex blushes for the second time that night. “We are Disney girls,” she admits. “So, whichever Disney movie there is. She also likes romantic stuff and period stuff, so we also watch that.”

Lucy nods, going through the selection on Netflix. “And what do you like?”

Alex’s hand goes to her cheek, ready to scratch, when Kara’s voice in her head stop her. Instead, she allows her fingers to paly with her lip. “Action stuff?” she ventures.

Lucy eyes her from the corner of her eye. “Like _Fast & Furious_ or like _Marvel_?”

Alex blinks. “…yes?”

Lucy sighs. “Really Alex?”

Alex’s blush deepens. Instead of answering on her lack of movie knowledge, she ventures, against her better judgment, “I’ve watched _It_.” She doesn’t mention that she saw the damn movie for all five minutes before turning the TV off and hiding in Kara’s bed for a week.

To be fair, she was eight at the time and she was even stupider when it came to make decisions.

Lucy’s smile is predatory when she turns fully to her. “Really? Then I have just the thing.”

Alex gulps.

Maybe she is still as stupid as when she was eight.

XxXxX

Kara’s out the car the moment she sees Alex.

“What happened?” she asks, checking Alex all over. The girl is pale as wax and there’s a light tremor going all around her.

Lucy is laughing at the side and not helping at all. “We watched _the Blair Witch Project_ ,” she announces proudly.

Alex glares from the cocoon of Kara’s arms. “I hate you,” she mutters.

“You love me, Danvers.”

Kara sighs. She’s facing a long night. “Really?” She eyes the mirthful Lucy with a raised eyebrow. “Do you want to sleep over?”

Lucy waves her off. “Nah. I’ve watched worse on my own. In fact, I have _The Conjuring_ on pause now.”

Kara levels her with a glare. “Are you certain?”

Lucy nods. “Scouts honors. All’s good.”

Kara sighs again and nods back. “Fine. Promise me you’ll call if anything changes.”

“Sure thing, Miss Zorel.”

Kara gets Alex on the passenger seat, making sure the girl puts on her seatbelt. “We’ll talk at home, _minnoş_ ,” she whispers to the girl.

Alex nods guiltily. “’M sorry.”

Kara shakes her head at the pitiful excuse she has for a sister. “We’ll talk at home,” she repeats.

Alex sighs and pouts as Kara closes her door. No matter what punishment Kara gives her for not listening, she hopes Kara will let her sleep in her bed.

She’s not looking forward to her dreams tonight.

As Kara is saying her last goodbyes to Lucy, she notices something on the house across her ex-best friend’s…

… a ‘for rent’ sign.

She hums, rubbing her eye. There’s an idea she’ll toss at Kara as soon as the older girl is done chewing her out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? didn't expect Alex's background to be like this, right?
> 
> Also, we got to see more into Lucy's own home life, which will hopefully play a larger part later on.
> 
> On the Alex's dating debate, I think we all know the girl will show zero interest in dating.
> 
> On the Kara's dating debate... I'm writing chapter 26 and it's starting to happen... although, like always, the characters didn't behave and it's Alex the one charming her way into Kara's future partner _before_ the own Kara does.
> 
> Figures.
> 
> We'll also start seeing more of Kara's background next chapter.
> 
> A writer I like would end up saying a little summary on her next chapters, and I kinda want to try it.
> 
> So...
> 
> **Next Chapter: Nightmares, house hunting and a heart to heart.**
> 
> Let me know if you'd like for me to add that at the end of chapters for now on.


	18. Chapter 18

A tug on her sheets wake her up.

She opens an eye to see Alex climbing into bed with her.

She sighs. “Another nightmare?” she asks in a whisper, trying not to spook her.

It doesn’t work. Alex flinches at the sound of her voice and she can see how her eyes are wider than normal. Thanks to the light that filters from the hallway, she can see that there are tear tracks on her cheeks too.

Without further ado, Kara opens her arms so Alex can dive on her chest.

She drops a kiss to Alex’s head as soon as the girl is nosing her neck. Her hand goes to Alex’s butt and pats gently, feeling the heaviness in there. “We’ll cuddle for a little bit,” she informs Alex in a murmur. “But then we need to change you.”

Alex just nods.

For the last three days since she was dumb enough to watch that dumb movie with dumber Lucy, Alex has been having nightmares and waking up wet more than once per night.

It would be cute if it wasn’t so tiring.

“Want to talk about it?” Kara asks in a whisper.

“No.”

“Okay.”

They bask in their closeness for a while, up until Kara can feel herself drifting off to sleep again. Then and only then, does she push Alex from her. “Com’on,” she says groggily. “Changing time.”

Alex, of course, is already asleep.

Kara sighs. “You are lucky you are cute,” she grumbles to the dead-to-the-world kid.

With little fanfare, she climbs off the bed and looks for one of the pull-ups she keeps in her room for this kind of situations. Namely, those she’s too tired to walk all the way to Alex’s room for a spare.

Yanking the boxers from Alex’s knocked-out form, untapping the pull-up and rolling it up has become so easy for her that she does it with just one eye open. Wiping the girl down with a baby wipe is a new thing, though, so she concentrates as much as she can while doing that step before she tries to tug the clean pull-up up Alex’s lax legs.

“This would be easier if I put you in diapers,” Kara mutters tiredly as she fights with one of Alex’s bent legs. The wipe was cold and Alex’s legs curled in response to the invasive feeling, resulting in Kara’s sudden struggle.

Finally, after some shuffling and pulling, the thing is around Alex’s crotch.

Deciding she’s too tired to try another scuffle with Alex’s legs, Kara tosses the boxers to the side, leaving Alex only in her thin spaghetti top and the pull-up. She gathers Alex in her arms and closes her eyes to keep sleeping.

Or that’s the plan.

She suddenly feels too awake when she sees Alex’s thumb firmly placed in her mouth.

That’s something she’s never seen Alex do in all the years she’s known the girl.

She doesn’t know if she should be concerned.

However, she can’t deny that seeing Alex’s fingers hooked around her nose, thumb firmly in her mouth and her relaxed face is cute as hell.

Kara rubs at her face.

She can’t keep putting off her research on regression much longer.

Alex’s mannerisms and actions are getting more and more obvious… her girl is not acting her age at all.

Hell, she hasn’t been acting her age ever since her visit to the police station.

She gathers Alex in her arms, nuzzling her temple and tangling their legs together.

No matter what her research throws up. She’ll be by Alex no matter what.

She ignores the little swell on her heart when she thinks on taking care of a younger Alex.

XxXxX

“I like this one.”

Kara looks over Alex’s shoulder at the screen. “Mmmm. I like it too. But I don’t think we need a three-story house.”

She clicks on the next property.

“This one has a pool!”

“And that probably puts it out of our budget.”

Kara clicks on the next one. “I like the yard in this one.”

“It has just two bedrooms, though.” Alex says miserably.

Click onto the next one.

“What about this one? It looks like it has everything we need.”

Alex sighs. “It’s out of the city.”

Kara sighs back. “Yeah. We can’t move you past city limits.”

Click onto the next one.

“That one looks way too old.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

Click onto the next one.

“Hey! I like this one! The living room is huge!”

“Mmmm. No. We are not living in that neighborhood.”

“Why not?”

Kara pecks the side of Alex’s head. “We are choosing somewhere you can change schools, no? That one would keep you at Memorial High.”

Alex scrunches up her nose. “No thanks.”

“Exactly.”

Click onto the next one.

“Oh! This one has a basement.”

“N-No, Kara. No basements.”

Kara snorts.

Click onto the next one.

Neither have anything to say to that one.

Click onto the next one.

Alex sighs. She turns on Kara’s lap, to hide on her neck.

“What’s the matter, baby?” Kara’s hand leaves the keyboard and rubs up and down her back.

“We’re never gonna find a house,” she says dejectedly.

“Hey,” Kara mumbles against Alex’s hair. “It took me a long while to find this apartment. We’ve only been looking at houses for a couple of days.”

Alex’s lower lip starts wobbling. “What if we don’t find somewhere to live before the she-devil kicks us out?”

Kara swats at the side of Alex’s thigh softly. “Don’t call her that.”

“She’s a she-devil!” Alex whines. “She’s kicking us out without a reason!”

Kara uses her legs to swing Alex form side to side. “Easy, Alex. Everything will be alright.”

Alex just grumbles against her skin, leaning more of her weight against Kara.

Kara doesn’t bother asking Alex what she said, she is able to guess.

This whole process is being hard on Alex.

Not only are they giving up their safe place with no reason, they are doing it under a very limited time frame.

Yes, they still have a month to move out, but that leaves them with just a month to find a place, make their bid, get accepted and all the mumbo jumbo that needs to be done to rent the place, place their deposit, pack and move.

And Alex is starting school in less than three weeks.

She can see how Alex is getting frustrated and dejected.

She’s about to console her, when Alex’s phone rings.

Alex peeks from her place at her lap to the ringing phone in the table. She scowls.

“Aren’t you getting that?” Kara asks with a small smile.

“No. I’m still mad at her.”

Kara chuckles. “It’s not Lucy’s fault you don’t know how to say no, Alex.”

Alex grumbles low and leans to grab the device. “What?” she asks sullenly into the receiver.

 _“Hello to you too.”_ Lucy’s voice is too mirthful. _“Are you sleeping well?”_

“Fuck you, Lucy.”

Kara swats her thigh again, this time closer to her butt.

Alex’s pout.

Lucy laughs loud enough for Kara to hear her clearly. _“Oh, God! I can imagine you are sporting your pouty face right now!”_

Alex tries to school her pout into an impassive mask.

She fails.

“Is there something you need?” she asks with a little grumble.

Lucy’s voice is still too happy when she replies, _“Not really. I just haven’t heard of you for days. Wondering if you’re still well and alive.”_

“Not thanks to you.”

Lucy’s voice is a little more apologetic when she speaks next. _“Look, I’m sorry… I never thought you’d be so scared. I make fun of you cuz otherwise I’d feel too bad. I’m sorry.”_

Alex sighs and cuddles closer to Kara. “’S not your fault. I knew I’d freak out.”

_“… then why didn’t you say anything?”_

“I’m stupid.”

Kara’s next slap could be considered delivered to the side of her butt.

It was also considerably harder.

Alex whimpers.

_“You okay?”_

“Yeah,” Alex replies, looking at Kara like the wounded thing she is. “Kara’s being a mean bean.”

 _“How so?”_ Alex tries not to be offended at the tone of incredulity Lucy sports, as if Kara couldn’t be mean.

Alex just grumbles. She’s not about to admit Kara just spanked her.

She still has a little bad rep to maintain.

Instead, she voices, “we are house hunting.”

_“Really? That’s cool!”_

Alex sighs. “Yeah.”

_“Why are you moving, though? Your place is swell.”_

Alex makes sure to grab the one hand Kara can use to spank her again before replying. “Our bitch of a landlady is terminating the contract,” she says with a small glare directed to Kara, daring her to spank her with the hand she’s grabbing.

Kara glares back, but makes to attempt to scold her in any way.

 _“That’s fucked up.”_ Alex wonders why Lucy can curse and she can’t. _“Hope you find a good place.”_

“It’s not going so well. Most places don’t have the room we need and others are too expensive.”

 _“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that…”_ There’s a slight pause as Lucy trails off. _“Hey… old Jenkins passed away at the beginning of the year and his son is renting his place…”_

Alex suddenly remembers that little ‘for rent’ sign she saw across Lucy’s house.

With her scolding, her nightmares and the following drama that night, Alex had forgotten all about it.

Lucy clears her throat and Alex can almost hear the hesitation in the other girl’s voice. _“Would you like me to send you the info?”_

That’s a very tempting offer right there.

If old Jenkin’s house is like Lucy’s they definitely would have the space they need. It’ll all come to whether Kara likes it and if they can afford it.

But, before she can make up her own mind, there’s something that bothers her. “Did old Jenkin die there?” she asks seriously.

She is not living in a place where an old man died.

Not after the nightmares she’s been having.

Kara looks at her quizzically, and Alex waves her off.

 _“Uh… no,”_ Lucy replies, a little startled at the question. _“He died in a home… the house’s been empty for over a year.”_

Alex nods. “Then send the info, please.”

_“Will do! Lois’ friends with his son, so I’ll have the info tonight. I’ll call you at ten?”_

Alex grimaces. “No can’t do. Text it to me, though?”

_“Why not? You’re going out?”_

Alex’s grimace grows. “No. I’m grounded.”

Kara snorts amused at both her face and her tone.

 _“… then why can’t I call?”_ Lucy’s confusion just makes Alex feel worse.

“I have an early bedtime,” she mumbles in the phone.

Not only Lucy calling at ten would be later than when she usually goes to bed, Kara’s grounding also included an early bedtime. She’s expected to be in bed at eight for the rest of the week partly in punishment and partly because, with the nightmares, she’s getting up too many times during the night.

This is the way Kara’s making sure she rests enough.

Lucy hears her easily, and, to her credit, she doesn’t say anything on it. _“Oh. Okay. I’ll text you the info and I’ll call tomorrow. How about that?”_

“That’d be awesome, thanks.”

_“No problemo. Go get ready for bed, kiddo. Talk to you later.”_

So much for Lucy keeping quiet.

“I’m less than a year younger than you.”

_“You’re a baby.”_

Alex grunts. “Bye, asshole.”

_“Bye, dumbass.”_

Alex disconnects the call and tosses her phone to the table again.

She repositions herself on Kara’s lap, ready to cuddle, only to be shifted to the side enough for Kara to spank her behind three times. Hard.

“Hey!”

Kara glares down at her. “I’ll tan your butt blue if I have to, but you’ll stop cursing.”

Alex crosses her arms. “So nosy,” she grumbles. “You eavesdropped.”

Kara rolls her eyes. “It’s not that someone wasn’t sitting on my lap the whole time. I heard everything Lucy said. I like the idea of her sending us the info.”

Alex rolls her eyes back. “You could’ve tried not listening.”

Kara pecks Alex’s temple. “Fine. Someone’s cranky.” She closes her laptop and raises, taking Alex with her. “Let’s have a warm bath, _minnoş_.”

Alex whines. “Nooooo, it’s too early…” But, even so, she clings to Kara, hugging her middle with her legs and clutching at her top with on hand. The other rubs her eye. 

Kara bounces her a little as she walks. “It’s never too early for a warm bath.”

Alex kicks her legs, just barely. “Nooooo.”

Kara runs her hand along Alex’s back. “But I want a bath. Won’t you join me?”

Alex glares at her without heat. “You tricking.”

Kara’s look is almost angelical. “Of course I’m not tricking you.”

Alex sighs, hugging Kara by the neck. “Mean bean.”

“Your mean bean.”

Alex rests her head on Kara’s shoulder, yawning. “Yeah. Mine.”

XxXxX

Alex snuggles under the covers, the warmness of the bath still clinging to her.

She yawns wide.

It’s still fifteen to her bedtime and she refuses to sleep before she’s forced to.

For one, her pride is in the line. She’s not a baby, sleeping so early.

For two, the later she goes to sleep, the later the nightmares will come.

“We are trying something new tonight.”

Alex blinks slowly at Kara’s announcement. “Wha?”

Kara turns off the overhead light and slides next to Alex, resting her back on the headboard. “Com’ere,” she opens one arm to the girl.

Alex happily snuggles to her side, which allows her to see the book Kara’s carrying. She perks up immediately. “Read?” she asks eagerly.

It’s been years since Kara read her to sleep.

“Yup.” Kara wiggles, trying to find a good position. “Let’s see how long you can last, yeah?”

Alex nods happily. “Can you start when he reaches Hogwarts?”

Kara looks down at Alex with a betrayed glare. “And miss the part Hagrid says ‘Harry, ye are a wizard’? Not a chance, Bubba.”

Alex picks at some lint on Kara’s shirt. “Why you call me Bubba?” she suddenly asks, voice quiet. This has been on her mind lately, it’s a nickname she grew up with, but that makes no sense.

It’s also a nickname that the more she hear, the less she likes.

Kara looks down at Alex and smiles. “Remember you used to be a little tomboy? You always liked boy clothes and you were happier with your hair cut short. You were like a little brother to me at one point. So, Bubba.”

Alex ponders that. Yes, she’s more comfortable with boys clothes, but she doesn’t think she’s defined by them. Sure, she liked using her hair short, but she’s grown to love having it long enough that Kara can make hairdos on it… also, long hair is more fun to wash and she can admit she’s grown fond of her long tresses.

She doesn’t think she’s that tomboy anymore.

“Hey,” Kara calls, seeing the sudden displeasure on Alex’s face. “You don’t like Bubba anymore?”

Alex shrugs.

Kara kisses the top of her head. “Talk to me.”

Alex looks up at Kara. “It… doesn’t feel like me…” she confesses quietly. “At least not anymore. ‘M sorry.”

Kara bends down so she can put a quick kiss to Alex’s sad pout. “Hey, it’s okay. You outgrew Bubba once already.”

Alex shakes her head. “’S not that… its…” She rolls so she can straddle Kara, resting her head on the taller girl’s shoulder. “… I don’t feel Bubba anymore… it feels like Bubba should’ve stayed at that house. It feels like Bubba shouldn’t come with to the next home.”

Kara looks perplexed at the depth of that explanation. “You’ve been thinking this for a while,” she accuses.

“… yeah.”

Kara hugs Alex tight, leaving the book to the side. She can recall the times Alex made faces when being called that… she just didn’t think it was over the nickname. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She nuzzles Alex’s temple. “I would’ve stopped using it at once.”

Alex wiggles. “It felt wrong… but I didn’t know why. I think I do now.”

Kara nods. “Then I won’t call you that anymore.”

“Thank you.”

Kara presses her lips against Alex’s soft hair. “No. Thank _you_ for trusting me with this.” She rocks them both side by side. “Are there any other pet names you don’t feel comfortable with?”

Alex shakes her head. “I’m good. I can sense your mood with which one you are using, so I like them.”

Kara snorts. Sneaky little Alex.

“But…”

“Yeah?”

“There’s a new one… you’ve used it a handful of times now. I don’t understand that one.”

“Oh? Which one?”

“Minok? Meenosh?”

“Oh! _Minnoş_.”

“Yeah, that one. It’s new.”

Kara smiles. “Remember the song I sung to you the other night?”

Alex nods.

“That’s the lullaby my _annem_ used to sing to me when I was little. It’s a traditional song. Reminded me of a lot of words I’ve forgotten. _Babam_ used to call me _minnoş_ all the time. I guess it stuck in my head.”

Alex traces her fingers along Kara cheeks. She hates it when Kara talks about her parents and how sad she becomes. “What does it mean?”

“Little girl.”

Alex cuddles closer to Kara, nosing on her jaw. “Could you…”

Kara gently pats on her butt. “Keep calling you _minnoş_?”

Alex nods again. “It’s that… right? Wouldn’t it be… disrespectful?”

Kara kisses between Alex’s eyebrows. “If they’d known you, they’d love you just as much as I do. I bet that, given the chance, they’d adopted you. So, no. It’s not disrespectful. And I’m honored you like my old nickname.”

Alex’s head tilts to the side, like a lost puppy. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Her question is so earnest, so innocent, so pure, that Kara can’t help but pepper her face in kisses. “Never change, _minnoş_. Never change.”

Alex just blinks confused.

“Now, lets read some. Otherwise someone won’t be falling asleep anytime soon.”

Alex rolls her eyes. “Someone is not sleepy. She wants to be read.”

“Then snuggle down and let me start.”

“Start when he reaches Hogwarts!”

“No, Alex. We are not missing my favorite part.”

“But I want to hear the sorting hat’s song!”

“We’ll read every night if you want, but we are not missing the best parts.”

“Fine.”

Kara kisses the top of Alex’s head. “Love you.”

Alex sighs deeply, closing her eyes and cuddling close. “Love ya too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So wow response to last couple of chapters!!!
> 
> Thank you so much guys.
> 
> Turkish little guide:  
>  _Minnoş_ : little girl. Common nickname for, well, little girls.  
>  _Anne_ : mom ( _Annem_ could translate as 'my mom')  
>  _Baba_ : dad ( _Babam_ , like above, translates as 'my dad')
> 
> Alex needs hugs and cuddles and, thankfully Kara is there to provide. Also, Alex is getting more comfortable with her little self... even if she's not aware of it.
> 
> Guys... guys... guys... this story is spiraling away from what I intended and I regret nothing.
> 
> Still open for suggestions and ideas, y'all.
> 
> **Next chapter: we get to know Kara's story.**


	19. Chapter 19

“Kara?”

Kara looks up from the email she’s wording to their possible landlord. “Yes, babe?”

Alex shuffles in place for a moment, Fluffy secured in her arms. “Can I ask you a question…?”

Kara’s eyes shot up at that. “Of course, love.” She narrows her eyes lightly, picking up on Alex’s anxiety. “Is this conversation better be had on the couch?”

Alex wiggles, looking around Kara’s studio. They’re already putting everything down, getting ready to move, so the place is starting to lose its personality. “Can we cuddle in bed?” she asks quietly.

Kara nods, now truly concerned. “Of course, _minnoş_.”

She gets up and goes to hug Alex tightly, and Alex doesn’t wait into clinging to her, hugging her neck. Kara wastes no time into picking her up.

“What’s the matter, love?” she asks as she walks them to her bedroom, bouncing her slightly.

Alex nuzzles her neck. “Nuttin’.”

“Then why the worried face?” she prods, sitting them both on her bed and allowing Alex to straddle her lap.

Alex fiddles with Fluffy, taking the plushie’s hands and making them clap. “Could you…”

Kara bounces Alex with her legs, making the nervous girl giggle. “ _Minnoş_?”

Alex looks up to Kara, deep in her eyes. “Could you… could you tell me about your _annen_? And your _baban_?” she asks in a small whisper.

Kara’s breath hitches. This is something she didn’t expect.

Alex’s eyes are wide and earnest. “You don’t have to!” she explains hastily. “I know this makes you sad… but I just-”

Kara rubs at Alex’s sides, making her pause mid word. “No, love. No…” She exhales slowly. “It makes me sad, yes, but if you want to… we can talk about them. I always like talking about them.”

Alex shakes her head. “I don’t want you sad.” She makes to move from Kara’s lap, but Kara grabs her legs.

“Hey, _minnoş_.” Kara squeezes her thighs, looking intently into Kara’s eyes. “Just because we get a little sad sometimes, it doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy remembering our loved ones. Especially our parents.”

Alex blinks slowly at that. She honestly doesn’t know how that feels.

All her life the only maternal figure she’s known is Kara.

Sure, Mrs. Henshaw was paid to act like one, but Kara’s the one that actually took care of her. Kara helped her through nightmares, through lost teeth, through fights, through math problems, through bad decisions, through puberty, through the rougher times.

Kara was always there to give advice, to hear her out, to let her talk and talk and talk and talk and be herself… up until she left to live with James.

After that, Alex was mostly on her own.

She understands that Kara left because she left the foster system, she does now… but ten years old Alex didn’t and it stung.

Honestly, it still stings.

It made Alex pull from Kara.

Of course, Alex could still ask Kara for advice, to hear her out… but she had to wait until Kara was done with her job, with her relationships, with her YouTube’s career, with James, and Winn, and Nia and Sam…

It got to a point where Alex simply stopped asking of Kara what Kara couldn’t give.

And it was okay. Kara was still around. They still hung out, they still had fun… but the way Alex let Kara interact with her changed… She no longer saw Kara as the one person that could fix everything, that would be there no matter what.

And Alex knows Kara tried to be there for her as much as she could, to fix all her messes, and it was nice… but the heavy stuff, the things that hurt Alex the most, she simply withheld from Kara…

She loved Kara then, and she loves her now, but Alex can admit she is reserved when it comes to sharing her inner thoughts… her deepest secrets. Kara always likes to state that they don’t keep secrets from each other, but that’s a lie. Alex has kept so much from Kara and she will keep doing it until she dies.

There’s no point in speaking up now.

It’s fine now.

And it was fine then. Then, Alex was free to do as she pleased, and she didn’t have to worry too much about consequences. She just needed to make sure she was fast, she was not home often. She needed to make sure she was around people, either at school or at the park or with Max and Siobhan.

Sure, she had to steal sometimes in order to eat – Ms. Henshaw liked to control her comings and goings withholding food and necessities, and she still feels guilty for all the pain she made Kara go through, because Kara always, always tried to provide for her –, but she honestly didn’t think it’d matter if something bad were to happen to her.

She believed that Kara would keep living her life and she knew that the people at the system would just look at her and see another case go wrong. She didn’t think she’d matter.

Until this summer, that’s it.

This summer had been the most seen Alex has felt for years. The most loved.

Before, before she had to content with remembering whatever she could about the Kara that still shared her small bedroom at the Henshaws’.

Maybe… maybe that’s what Kara’s talking about. About being sad, but also liking to remember. She can still feel that ache that accompanies her early memories, but she would never, ever, give those memories up.

If that’s what Kara feels when talking about her parents… then Alex wants to know.

And Alex is really curious to know what kind of people would birth the woman that has shown Alex how to love.

Alex cuddles on Kara’s chest. “Are you sure it’s okay?”

Kara nods and slides further up the bed, resting on the headboard with Alex splayed along her chest and lap. “I’m sure, love. It’ll be nice having more people remembering them by.”

Alex nods, nosing Kara’s neck. One hand clutches on Kara’s top, while the other goes to her mouth. She lets her thumb play with her lips as she listens attentively.

“ _Babam_ was born in Central Anatolia, and he moved to Metropolis when he was a baby. He had a brother and a sister. They are both dead too. Same as his parents. He grew up in Gotham, and then he went to NCU to study astrophysics. He stayed in National City ever since.”

Alex hums. “What were their names?”

“ _Babam_ was called Zeki. His brother was Ali and his sister Zeynep. I don’t remember his parents’ names…” Alex kisses Kara’s chin at the soft, heartbroken admission.

“What happened to your uncle and aunt?” Alex asks quietly.

Kara nuzzles her temple. “As far as I know, they died on the same fire. That was before I was born, so I never knew them.”

“’M sorry…”

Kara kisses her temple. “Don’t be. We can remember those gone, but we can’t mourn those we never met.”

Alex nods. She knows that feeling well.

“Anyway, _annem_ was born here in California, but her parents came from Ankara. She and _teyze_ Astra used to spend their summers there-” Alex tugs at Kara, making her stop for a moment. “What it is, _minnoş_?”

“Don’t know that word,” Alex mumbles behind the thumb that’s again playing with her lips.

“ _Teyze_?” Alex nods. “That’s aunt, love.”

Alex blinks and nods again, absorbing the information. She loves it when Kara would drop the odd Turkish word in casual conversation. That’s one of the main reasons she’s loving her newest nickname at the fullest.

“ _Annem_ and _teyze_ Astra used to spend their summers in Ankara. They had a really bad fall out when I was around eight and _teyze_ Astra moved there permanently.” Kara rubs at Alex’s back. “I know J’onn tried to contact her when it happened, but he never found her.”

Alex keeps quiet. She doesn’t know what to say to that.

“ _Annem_ met _babam_ at NCU, she was studying law. _Babam_ always said it was love at first sight… _annem_ insisted is was love at first bump. They always told this story, how _babam_ was running to one of his classes and he, being the klutz he was, bumped into _annem_ , literally. They ended up in the floor and in love.”

Alex giggles at the visuals for that. She can almost imagine a Kara-like woman on the floor while a Kara-like man apologizes profusely.

“They dated for two whole weeks before they got engaged, following tradition. They lasted six years engaged until finally marrying back in Ankara. See, they had almost no family here, so it was best to celebrate there, according to _annem._ And that’s basically it, _minnoş._ That’s their story.”

Alex frowns a little. “And yours?”

“Me? I was born here, you know that, baby. Exactly nine months after they married if that’s what you’re asking.”

Alex’s frown turns into a slight grimace. She did not want to know _that_. “No, but… how did you see them?” She looks up to Kara’s somber eyes. “What’s your story? About them.”

Kara’s hand goes to Alex butt and starts patting it softly. That is an action that has turned calming for the older girl too. “ _Annem_ worked long hours. She was a senior partner in an Immigrant Law firm. It was a small firm and I think it’s already around, and she put her all in it. But, she always made sure the weekends were for family. I barely saw her during the week, she was always up and about, but that was okay, because I knew she’d be home for us all Saturday and then on Sunday we’d go out and have fun the four of us.”

Alex’s small frown is there again at that last statement, however, she didn’t interrupt.

“ _Babam_ worked hard too, but he did it from home most of the time, so he was around for us kids. He cooked, cleaned and made sure we were where needed at the right time. As far as I remember, he was a consultant for several companies, but the one that I remember is CADMUS. He did a lot of work for them and I remember one summer he took us too their labs and we came back with backpacks and caps. That was fun.

“ _Annem_ took us often to her firm too, but I didn’t find it as exciting as seeing all the magic at CADMUS. Still, sometimes during our last summer together Kori and I would be helping around the firm, taking papers here and there and making tea and coffee. There wasn’t much ten years-old could do, but they paid us in doughnuts, so it was amazing an-”

Alex’s frown deepens. “Kay…?”

Kara’s hand stops its patting at the sudden question. “Yes, _minnoş_?”

Alex raises just barely, so she can stare into Kara’s eyes. “Who is Kori?”

And just like that, Kara’s face crumbles.

Alex is quick to straddle her lap and hug her tight as tears start streaming down her cheek. She nuzzles Kara’s temple, as the older girl is prone to do, kissing there every so often.

Kara, for her part, clings to Alex as if the girl were the only thing tethering to Earth. She buries her face on Alex’s neck for a change and sobs onto her skin. Her hands clutch the back of Alex’s shirt and she trembles.

“’S okay,” Alex mumbles gently. She sways them in place, just like Kara always does. “Shhh, just let it out. I love you. Just let it out.”

And Kara does, just focusing on Alex.

Just crying.

XxXxX

Alex rests quietly against Kara’s chest, listening to the soothing heartbeat.

It took Kara a while to stop sobbing, and when she did, Alex insisted it was time for a bath, just like Kara always insists when she’s the one distressed.

So, they are now in the tub. Alex has warmed the water twice and Kara hasn’t said it’s time to get out, so she waits.

Alex tried to do Kara’s hair and wash her, just like Kara always does, but Kara didn’t let her. She said it was her job to take care of Alex, no other way around, so Alex is just resting quietly on Kara’s lap and making sure they don’t get too cold after Kara bathed them both.

Kara’s hand haven’t stop stroking Alex’s back and its starting to make her sleepy, even when it’s way too early and they haven’t eaten dinner yet.

But, Alex made Kara sad and she wants her to be happy again, so she stays still and let the older girl find solace whichever way she prefers. Alex’s eyes are closed and with her fingers she draws shapes on Kara’s collarbone, just listening to Kara’s heartbeat.

“Kori…” Kara whispers, breaking the silence and making Alex come back from her dozing state. “Was my twin.”

Alex tenses slightly, but she keeps quiet and listening.

“She… she got sick. Real sick. Her fever wasn’t going down and she kept convulsing. S-So _Annem_ and _babam_ decided it was hospital time.”

Alex peeks up at Kara. Her eyes are unfocused, looking to a place far away.

Kara blinks, letting two tears run down her cheek.

Alex noses her neck, trying to comfort her.

“I was g-going to be with the babysitter,” Kara whispers brokenly. “It was late. T-Too late. It was raining… the babysitter was taking too long. A-And they decided to take me along.”

Alex hugs Kara tightly, straddling her lap and circling her neck with her arms.

Kara doesn’t hug back, too lost in the memory.

“A truck hit us.” Kara exhales shakily. “It sent us over the b-bridge and into the water. They died o-on impact. They never f-found Kori’s body.”

Alex nuzzles Kara’s hair, dampening it with her own silent tears.

Kara’s arms come around Alex, touching softly. “Social services went f-for me at the hospital a week later. I l-lost them a-all in one night.”

Alex kissed the top of her head.

Kara’s breath hitches.

“I h-haven’t said her name in years. I miss her.”

“’M sorry,” Alex whispers into Kara’s hair. “’M so s-sorry.”

Kara exhales again, this time more stable. Her hug becomes firmer and she kisses Alex’s shoulder. “It’s life.”

Alex shakes her head. “You deserved better.”

Kara’s hand rubs along Alex’s back. “So did you.”

“No.” Alex shakes her head. “No. Life’s been good to me.”

Kara blinks, looking up at Alex with a small frown. She shakes her head. “Your parents abandoned you. The ones that loved you abandoned you,” she whispers, trying to understand.

Alex smiles down at her. Her eyes are red from her sympathetic crying, and they sting, but she tries to show Kara how happy she is indeed. “She didn’t,” she says strongly. “She’s here.”

“Alex…”

Alex presses her forehead against Kara’s, closing her eyes and willing her to understand. “I know I’m not the best. I know I’m messy and reckless… but the one person that’s ever loved me is still here. She hasn’t abandoned me and I don’t plan on abandoning her either…” She pecks Kara’s lips. “I know I can’t replace them, but I love you with all my heart. You’re my family. I’ll always look for your happiness.”

Kara laughs wetly. She hugs Alex fiercely. She peppers Alex’s face with kisses and makes Alex giggle.

“I don’t need to replace them,” Kara announces after her attack, a slight smile in her lips. She pecks Alex’s lips. “I miss them. I’ll always miss them. But my family is in my arms right now and we will look for that happiness together. Yeah?”

Alex beams. “Hell yeah!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay...
> 
> Plot changes made it necessary to tweak some of this chapter, so I took longer to read it over and fix what needed to be fixed.
> 
> And, because I'm _that_ author, you can totally ask for double update tomorrow!!
> 
> Turkish used here:   
> _Minnoş_ : little girl. Common nickname for, well, little girls.  
>  _Anne_ : mom (Annem could translate as 'my mom'; annen would be 'your mom')  
>  _Baba_ : dad (Babam, like above, translates as 'my dad'; baban would be 'your dad')  
>  _Teyze_ : maternal aunt  
> [Gotta love languages with declensions]
> 
> If someone actually speaks Turkish and wants to teach me, please, please, I'd love to TT_TT
> 
> **On next chapter: Moving time, James and Nia make an appearance and Lucy is _thirsty_.**


	20. Chapter 20

“I can’t believe it’s happening.”

Kara looks around, hugging Alex to her side. “Yeah… it still feels like a dream.”

After a string of emails, a couple of phone calls, a short meeting, a visit to the bank and a trip to Home Depot and some serious elbow grease…

They are moving out and into their new house.

Currently, they are observing their lives around them, all packed in cardboard boxes and ready to be carried down to the U-Haul they rented. They are also taking the time to say goodbye to the place that saw them start living together.

They still have time before the lease ends, but Alex is starting school next week and they need to be installed by then, not to mention, they need to enroll Alex into her school too.

She’ll attend the same school as Lucy, which has, for once, makes Alex look forward the ending of summer break.

They can barely wait for the rest of their lives to begin.

Alex tugs at Kara’s tank top.

“Yes, _minnoş_?”

“I love you.”

Kara smiles wide, pecking Alex between her eyebrows. “And I love you too. So much.” She lets Alex go, taking her hand instead. “Let’s get moving. James will be here in an hour to help move the heavy furniture.”

Alex nods. “Okay! Is Nia coming here too?” she asks with a small blush.

Kara snorts. “Your crush is helping us at the new house. She’s airing the rooms so all the paint smell leaves.”

The renting process was done so quickly and so smooth, they spent the last week painting and fixing the rooms as they saw them fit. Their bedrooms will be in the second floor, while Kara’s studio is going to be situated on the floor one, just off the kitchen.

They won’t have a basement, but the house has a little attic that they still don’t know what to do with. Alex has wanted it to be her bedroom, but Kara is certain she’s still going to be carrying Alex around and she doesn’t fancy trying to climb that ladder with the girl in arms.

Kara is thinking on making Alex her own art studio, the place is small and well lit, but they are still testing the waters on the art front. Alex enjoys coloring and drawing and painting with her acrylics, but she still enjoys reading and playing with her toys more.

Maybe they’ll make a reading room out of it.

They still have time to figure that one out.

The house also has Alex’s wanted yard. It’s not a big one and it needs some work, but they’d be able to have cookouts in it and Alex can be the crazy kid she is and run around if she so wishes.

“I’m pretty sure she’s also putting the night stars on your room as we speak,” Kara teases.

Alex’s blushing tenfold.

This is the first place they have free license to do as they please and Kara will not pull any punches when it comes to make Alex’s room her dreamt one. The girl voiced wanting to have glow-in-the-dark stars in one part of her ceiling, and so, she will have. It’ll be nice seeing how those turn out once all the room is put together.

“Kay?” Alex looks around the place again.

“Yeah?”

“… shouldn’t we be recording this?” Alex voice is small and uncertain.

Kara looks around. Yeah, they should.

This’d be a really good video to start off the Vlog channel she’s been itching to launch.

Kara looks at Alex. “Do you want to?”

Alex shifts in place. “I don’t know,” she admits. “It feels… too personal…”

Kara nods. They had this same argument over the Universal video. In the end, Alex ended up uploading the rides and some shots of them goofing around together, but she kept for herself the most intimate ones.

Specially those were it was seen exactly how much fun they were having.

Those were special moments neither felt comfortable sharing with the world.

Just like the selfie she took when she was cuddling a sleeping Alex in the middle of the park.

That one wasn’t posted anywhere, but it’s now her phone’s background.

It’s at moments like these, that Kara regrets entering in the YouTube world.

“Yeah, it does,” Kara nods.

“But… it’d make good views…”

Kara smiles sadly at that. “Yeah.”

Alex fidgets in place. “… let’s record everything…”

“… And decide once we are editing what goes into the video?”

Alex nods.

Kara hugs Alex to her, kissing the top of her head. “I’m proud of you.”

Alex twitches her nose. “What did I do?”

Kara just hugs her tight. “You’re growing to be an amazing woman.”

XxXxX

“Hey, neighbor!”

Alex’s head whips to the side and she grins wide. “Hey, looser!”

Lucy walks to Alex and picks one of the boxes from the U-Haul back. “What are we unloading?” she asks, following the younger girl into the house.

“Kara’s room,” Alex says easily. “The boxes with the pink circles are hers. Mines have a black heart.”

Lucy snorts. “Fitting.”

“Hey, Lucy,” Kara smiles as she bumps into the girls as she goes fetch another box.

“Hi, Miss Zorel!” Lucy calls to the woman’s retreating back.

“Alex!” Nia’s voice calls from the living room as they pass the room. “Come fix these cables!”

“Gimme a minute!”

Lucy follows Alex up the stairs and into the master room, where a man is setting up a bed frame. “Alex,” he says. “Do you know where Kara put the screwdriver?”

Alex shakes her head. “Nope.”

“Oh,” the man says, looking at Lucy. “Hi.”

Lucy smiles wide. “Hi.”

“Luce, this is James, Kara’s best male friend. James, this is Lucy, _my_ best friend,” Alex introduce them.

James smiles back. “Nice to meet you, Lucy. Glad you came help.”

Lucy lowers her face, looking at him from under her long lashes. “Nice to meet you too,” she says softly. “It was no bother. I live across the street.”

James’ eyes widen and Alex’s narrow. “Really? That’s cool.”

“Yeah, Lucy’s the one that led us to this house.”

“Now, _that’s_ awesome.”

“It is. Come, Luce,” Alex smacks Lucy’s shoulder. “Let’s keep bringing boxes.”

Lucy nods, even when her eyes don’t leave James.

“Lucy.”

“Yeah, yeah. Coming.”

Alex waits until they are back by the truck, to address her friend again. “Don’t you ever think about it,” she says, crossing her arms.

“What?”

Alex narrows her eyes. “You’re lusting after James. I can see it.”

Lucy rolls her eyes. “So? It’s none of your business.”

Alex pushes her shoulder with enough force to make her take a step back. “It is. He’s older than Kara, making him too old for you.”

Lucy narrows her eyes back, pushing Alex in return. “So? He wouldn’t be the first older man I’ve bedded.”

Alex’s nose scrunches up at the thought. She pushes Lucy again. “That’s disgusting. You can’t bed him.”

Lucy pushes back. “Why not?”

Alex is about to push Lucy again, when a hand come rest on her shoulder. “What’s going on?” Kara asks, looking between them.

Alex glares at Lucy. “Nothing,” she grumbles.

Lucy smiles innocently to Kara. “Nothing, ma’am. Alex is just being stupid.”

Kara’s hand on her shoulder is the only reason Alex doesn’t launch at Lucy.

“Language,” Kara scold the older teen.

Lucy frowns and Alex sticks her tongue towards her.

“Alex.”

Lucy snickers and Alex sighs at the scolding.

“Why were you two fighting?” Kara asks again.

Alex and Lucy glare at each other. “That one has the hots for James,” Alex announces.

Lucy narrows her eyes and its her the one about to attack, when Kara laughs. “Oh, darling,” she chuckles. “James’ gay.”

Lucy gasps and hits Alex shoulder. “Why didn’t’ you tell me?!”

Alex hits back, “I told you, you couldn’t sleep with him!”

“Okay, enough.” Kara grabs both of them by the back of their necks, shaking them gently. “Don’t make me put you on time out. Lucy, please help me with the boxes. Alex, go help Nia.”

Both girls glare at each other but make no attempt to move.

Kara sighs.

Moving next to the temperamental brunette might not been the best idea after all.

XxXxX

Alex yawns for the third time in as many minutes.

Kara nuzzles her temple and lets Alex play with her hands under the water, watching mesmerized the way the little bubbles that remain on the surface paint their skin in different shades.

Today was a good day.

Moving out the apartment was done quickly with James’ help and moving in was done twice as quickly with Nia and Lucy joining them.

There’s still stuff to unpack, but the kitchen, living room, bathroom and Kara’s room are habitable. Alex hasn’t started in her room yet, but Kara knows that’s because she didn’t want Lucy or James seeing that among her boxes, there are some pull-ups and baby wipes. Nia knows already, and Alex knows that, but still, the girl is shy about it all.

And Kara understands. So, she didn’t pressure Alex to ready her room today.

Besides, Alex made herself helpful doing the bulk on the mammoth work that’ll be building her recording studio. After the brief fight the two teens had over James, both Lucy and Alex had spent most day holed up in the studio and Kara is happy to know she only needs to make some adjustments and decide where to place the lights and mirrors and she’ll be set.

Kara kisses Alex’s temple.

It’s later than Alex’s usual bedtime and it shows with how sleepy the girl sitting between her legs is.

Everybody has gone home now and so Kara decided it was time for a long soak, which, apparently, is now nearing its end.

“C’mon, _mi_ _nnoş_. It’s time for bed.”

Alex whines, turning to cuddle to Kara’s front.

Kara chuckles. “Too lazy to get up?”

Alex rubs at her eye. “Sleepy,” she mumbles.

“I know, love. But the sooner we are out here, the sooner we can go night night.”

“Carry me.”

Kara hums. “No.” She pecks Alex’s pout. “I won’t chance slipping and hurting you. Get up for me and I’ll carry you to bed.”

Alex whines again, but she stands up from between Kara’s legs, and keeps still while Kara raises and rinse them both. Once out of the tub and wrapped in a fluffy towel, Alex is carried to Kara’s bedroom and placed on the bed.

Alex looks with half-lidden eyes as Kara prepares for bed, from taking her hair from the high bun she made so it didn’t get wet, to applying all her skincare products to jumping into her Hello Kitty pajamas. The sight is a familiar one and she watches it as her breath deepens, relaxing, knowing she’s safe.

Her thumb makes her way into her mouth, unpromoted, and her eyes closes little by little, with each blink she gives.

Once Kara’s done with her routine, she turns to Alex, pull-up in hand and one of her own baggier shirts.

Alex looks impassively as Kara unwraps her and lotion her up. She giggles around her thumb when Kara’s fingers tickle her tummy and the back of her knees.

“Someone’s ready to pass out,” Kara murmurs, rubbing the lotion on Alex’s legs.

Alex hums and shivers at the soft breeze that’s coming from the window.

“I’m almost done. Let you thumb go, _minnoş_. Arms up.” Kara tugs her shirt over head and arms, putting it in place in one swift motion.

Alex’s thumb goes back to her mouth and she curls up, looking for warmth.

“Hey.” Kara pats her calf. “You’re missing your pull-up.”

Alex whines, curling further onto herself and pulling her legs away from Kara.

Kara reaches for her legs again, tugging on one ankle and managing to put the pull-up along it… until Alex curls her leg away, promptly kicking the pull-up away.

Kara snorts, amused at the sleepy thing in her bed. This little dance is getting more and more familiar when she has to deal with a practically asleep Alex.

“You know, if you insist on being difficult when you’re this sleepy, I might just put you in diapers. Those are easier to put on wiggly girls.”

There’s a moment of silence, before Alex mumbles around her thumb, “Otay.”

Kara blinks at that. “Okay?”

Alex nods. “Ye.”

Kara just shakes her head.

She’ll talk with Alex in the morning, see if what her sleepy self just agreed to is what she really wants.

“Fine. But I don’t have any right now, so, please, let me put these on.”

Alex grunts, but uncurls her legs and allows Kara to tug the pull-ups in place.

Once dressed, Alex rolls away, pulling the duvet with her and making herself into a burrito.

“Alex?”

Alex grumbles sleepily.

“Hey? Aren’t I allowed in there? I want me cuddles.”

Alex rolls to Kara, unwrapping herself and reaching out with her free hand.

Kara smiles. She quickly put all the lights out and she’s sliding next to Alex, hugging her tight. “I love you.”

Alex’s breathing is deep already and she smiles.

They are in a new house, starting a new chapter in their lives.

But, one thing is the same.

Alex is the most precious thing in her life.

And she always will be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, not much to say about this one.
> 
> But, I do have to say that these past weeks I've been really relaxed with school... that changes tomorrow. Tomorrow I start a new term and that means a heavier workload for yours truly.
> 
> It also means that I won't be updating daily anymore. I'll try to keep to twice weekly, but we'll see.
> 
> Thanks for the love!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I survived the first day back to virtual school!!!!
> 
> I hate my career choice right now!!!!!
> 
> Here's today's chapter.
> 
> Late, but here.

“J’onn just sent your documents to the school, so there shouldn’t be any problem on Monday.”

Alex looks up from where she’s browsing pens. “Yeah? He didn’t say anything else?”

Kara hums, reading the email on her phone. “’Tell the firecracker not to end up in the principal’s office within the week’.”

“Haha,” Alex deadpans.

“I mean, he’s not wrong. You shouldn’t end at the principal’s within the week.”

Alex scrunches up her nose. “Why would I do that?”

Kara bops her nose. “You are a troublemaker, that’s why.”

Alex sneezes at that. “Mean bean.”

“Yes.” Kara pockets her phone. “Chose anything yet?”

Alex shrugs. “Do I really need this stuff? I still have all my old things.”

Kara ruffles Alex’s hair. “Let me spoil you, monster.”

Alex sighs. “Fine.”

“Don’t sound too excited,” Kara snorts.

Alex pouts. “I really don’t see why I need new pens and binders.”

“Hey, new school, new start?”

“… but I don’t want to look… eager.”

Kara’s eyebrows rise at that. “Why would you look eager?”

“Uh. New kid? With new stuff? I’ll look eager. And it’s my last year… I really don’t want people to think I’m weird.”

Kara hugs Alex to her side. Alex has a point.

“I can understand that, _minnoş_. Taka whatever you think you’ll need then. No pressure from me.”

Alex smiles gratefully. “You’re the best, Kay.”

Kara pretends to preen. “I try.”

Alex scoffs at that. She turns her attention to the pens before her. “… is it weird I want a pink pen?” she asks, nibbling on her lip.

Kara’s eyebrows rise at that. It is indeed weird. “No, love, not at all.”

Alex looks at her, her stare indicating she doesn’t believe Kara. “You’re real help,” she snarks.

Kara narrows her eyes. “Drop the attitude.”

Alex sighs. “’M sorry…” She takes the neon pink pen with black skulls that she’s been eyeing and put it in her basket, next a new black binder and a pack of pencils. “… I’m kinda nervous.”

“Nervous?”

“… It’s a new school… I know no one.”

Kara nods. That’s a good enough explanation.

Alex and Kara are, in a way, one of the lucky ones.

Most foster kids are shuffled around, going from group homes to foster homes to other foster homes, back and forth, back and forth. Kara and Alex, though, only knew the Henshaws. They are not the best, that’s true, but they are one of the few that don’t give kids back.

Alex and Kara could’ve committed murder and still have a place to sleep at that house.

Not moving from the same house meant not changing schools. Kara graduated from Memorial High, just like Alex was set to do before they moved. Alex’s known the kids at her old school since she was enrolled in it. She grew up with them, of course she’s nervous.

Kara kisses her temple. “Lucy will be there.”

Alex scrunches up her nose. “But, chances are, we are not in the same classes.”

Kara nods. “But, you’ll have someone to have your back, no matter what.”

Alex nods back. “Yeah. That’s right.”

Kara pokes Alex’s side, making her giggle. “I am always right. Remember that.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Alex stands on her tip toes to kiss Kara’s cheek. “Love you, Kay.”

Kara Eskimo kisses her. “Love you more.”

“Love you most,” Alex grins wide.

“C’mon, let’s keep buying your stuff.”

Alex grabs Kara’s hand, swinging their arms happily. “I’m done. I don’t need anything else.”

Kara nods. “Fair enough. If you change your mind or you end up needed something else, we’ll just drop by after school, yeah?”

“Yup!”

“Do you want to buy new clothes for school?” Kara asks with a smirk.

As predicted, Alex sticks out her tongue in distaste. “No, thanks.”

Kara laughs.

XxXxX

Kara and Alex stand on the aisle’s entrance, both looking at the stuff on display wearily.

“Can’t we buy them on Amazon?” Alex asks softly.

After swinging by the stationary section, they wandered to the Pharmacy, intending to buy the one item sleepy Alex decided would help them maintain the two things that they most needed at night: Alex’s comfort and Kara’s sanity.

Alex has gotten so used to be changed during the night, that she no longer wakes up and Kara’s idea to buy diapers for those night was well received by Alex.

Honestly, for Alex, going from wearing pull-ups to wearing diapers was not a huge step. She initially felt the pull-ups were too babyish, but she grew to like them… she’s willing to try wearing diapers, because she knows she either would like them too or not, and then, Kara wouldn’t force her to wear them anymore.

They’ll just go back to her trusted pull-ups.

“We can do that later, yes, but I rather we buy a small pack just to try them out.”

Alex exhales shakily.

“We don’t have to buy them if you are not sure you want them.”

Alex shakes her head. “I want to try… but it’s embarrassing.”

Kara hugs her tight, letting Alex burrow her nose against her neck. “Hey, it’s just me. We are in this together. Whatever you’re more comfortable, I support you.”

Alex hugs Kara back with the hand she’s not using with the basket. “… can you choose them?”

Kara nods. “Sure thing, _minnoş_.”

Alex sighs deeply and, red faced, watches as Kara looks around and, after a minute of deliberation, picks one of the smallest packages the store has to offer. Kara comes back and takes the basket from her, dropping the diapers in there without hesitation.

“Aren’t you embarrassed buying them?” Alex asks as she’s led to check out, looking around the people queueing.

Kara smiles down at her. “No, love. It’s none of their business.”

“But-”

“If anybody asks, well say Great-aunt Martha needs them.”

“… we don’t have a great-aunt. We don’t even know anyone named Martha.”

“So? They don’t know that,” Kara adds with a cheeky grin.

Alex just laughs at that.

XxXxX

“I like what you did with your room.” Lucy looks around and she can tell this room is way better than the one she saw at their apartment. “I like the colors. Very you.”

Alex smiles from her spot sitting at her bed.

Lucy’s right, her new room is way better than her last one.

For one, she chose a muted green for the walls, to match the light grey carpet, resembling her House colors, and making her silver bedding pop out. Her bookcase is under the wide window that looks into their yard and Kara gave her one of the beanbags she used to have in her studio so now she has a small reading corner. Also, just like Kara said, Nia put a handful of constellations just above her bed and last night she fell asleep looking at them.

And she didn’t wake up at all during the night!

Her walls are not bare, either. She and Kara spent last night putting up some posters she picked at Universal and, Alex cannot believe she thinks this, it’s almost as if she’s been living in this house her whole life.

Kara’s room looks lived in too, just like their kitchen and living room. They are still working on the yard and Kara’s still making the last changes in her studio, but so far… so far, she feels really, really, really happy.

“Yeah. Kara helped me paint it.”

Lucy smirks over her shoulder, inspecting the Hogwarts posters. “You are a nerd, Alex.”

Alex shrugs. “I prefer the term Potterhead.”

Lucy just snorts. She launches herself next to Alex, bouncing them both. “Ready for tomorrow?”

Alex scrunches up her nose. “Not really. I’m nervous.”

Lucy lays on her side, so she can keep an eye on Alex. “Why nervous?”

“I’ve never been the new kid,” Alex admits sheepishly. “And I’ve seen a lot of them bullied.”

Lucy waves her off. “Nah, don’t worry about that. I’ll have your back the whole time, and I’m in popular gang, so they’ll leave you alone.”

“… you’re popular.”

Lucy scoffs. “Don’t act so surprised. Of course I am. I’m a cheerleader, for God’s sake.”

“You’re a cheerleader?!” Alex snorts incredulous.

“Hey! What’s wrong with that?!”

Alex shakes her hands before her, trying to appease the other girl. “Nothing wrong! Just, not something I can imagine you doing.”

Lucy shoves her halfheartedly. “How do you think I have _this_ body?” she asks, motioning down herself. “Surely not because of PE.”

Alex nods. She has a point. “Still, it’s weird imagine you in skirt and all that stuff.”

Lucy rolls so she’s looking at the ceiling. “Yeah, it’s a bother in winter, but its really good on summers. The uniforms are chill.”

Alex moves to lay next to her. “So, you’re a popular cheerleader… anything else I need to know about?”

Right until now, it hadn’t occurred to Alex that she knew almost nothing regarding Lucy in a school setting. She’s used to hang out with the girl at parties and on weekends, so she’s not too sure what to expect.

“Well,” Lucy begins. “Bring your own lunch. Lines at the cafeteria are a bitch, but, as seniors, we have the chance to go out and eat, so, that’s an option too. Don’t linger at the library at lunch time, either… that’s where most couples hook up and I know you don’t like seeing that stuff.”

Alex sticks her tongue out just listening to that.

“Also, join a club. If you’re in any club, most teachers will let you pass their classes with lower grades… something about you being too busy to study, or whatever. Steer clear of the football players, they are all stupid and smell worse than horseshit. What else… Oh! Miss Luthor is scary as fuck, so try not to attract her attention.”

“Miss Luthor?”

“Our principal.”

“Oh.” Alex doesn’t plan on doing anything to make their principal aware that she even exists.

“Did you get your schedule?”

“Yeah, they emailed me on Friday.”

“Lemme see! We might have the same classes.”

Alex fishes her phone from her back pocket and looks for the correct PDF file while Lucy does the same on hers. “Here.” She passes the phone to her friend.

“Lets see…” There’s a pause as she reads, before Lucy freezes.

“Luce?”

“… the fuck, Alex?”

Alex’s heart starts racing. “What? What’s wrong?”

Lucy stares at her as if she had grown another head. “You’re taking five AP classes?” she whispers, as if sharing a secret.

Alex exhales. She hits Lucy’s shoulder. “You scared me, asshole. And yeah, I am. Why?”

“… you are crazy. That’s why.”

Alex’s head tilts to the side. “Is that something bad?” she asks, now truly concerned.

Lucy shakes her head, looking at how panicked her friend is. “Not bad… just, abnormal. Most struggle with just the two.”

“Oh.” Alex shrugs. “I did the same last year and I did good enough.”

Lucy stares at her and opens her mouth, before reconsidering. “Okay, fine. Cool.” She turns her attention back to their schedules. “We share homeroom and lunch… other than that, you’re on your own.”

Alex pouts. “That sucks… I wanted to be with you all day.”

Lucy pats her head, like she was a sad puppy. “Yeah, well, my _only_ AP class is English, and we are not in the same block, so.”

Alex sighs.

Tomorrow will be a difficult day.

XxXxX

Tugging at her sheets wakes her up.

Kara opens an eye and smiles. She lifts the covers and Alex climbs next to her and into her arms without a word.

Kara kisses the top of Alex’s head and her hand goes down to pat her padded bottom. Alex’s been too nervous to try the diapers, so, at the moment, they keep using the pull-ups, meaning that Kara has to check her constantly in order to avoid any leakage.

“’M dry,” Alex mumbles.

Kara nods. “Nightmare?” she whispers.

Alex shakes her head. “Nervous. Can’t fall back to sleep.”

Kara’s hand starts its usual soft patting. “You fell asleep fast enough.” And that’s true. Alex was in bed and asleep before nine tonight, and while it’s not uncommon for the girl to wake up after that, it’s uncommon for her to wake up both dry and not scared. Kara looks at the clock on her bedside table. It’s barely midnight. “Thought you’d sleep through the night.”

Alex wiggles. “Me too.”

Kara nuzzles on Alex’s hair. “Everything will be fine tomorrow.”

“… I hope so.”

“I know so.” Kara’s other hand goes to Alex’s hair and scratches her scalp. “Close your eyes, _minnoş_ , just rest them.”

Alex nods. “Okay.”

“Good girl.” She drops another kiss to the top of her head, copying Alex and closing her eyes to fall back asleep.

They stay silent for a moment, just basking on their shared warmth.

“Kara?”

“Mmm?”

“Did you finish editing the House Tour video?”

“Mmmmnot yet,” Kara mumbles. “I’ll show you tomorrow.”

Alex burrows closer to Kara’s chest.

“Kara?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think there’ll be lots of students tomorrow?”

Kara hums. “It’s a small school, baby. So, no.”

Kara’s patting becomes more languid.

“Kara?”

“Wha?”

“Are you picking me up tomorrow?”

“’fcourse.”

Alex yawns against Kara’s neck.

“Kara?”

“Yea?”

“Can I have a kitten?”

Kara’s patting stops just enough to deliver a soft spank to Alex’s butt.

“Okay, understood.”

Alex nuzzles on Kara’s jaw.

“Kara?”

“Sleep, Alex. _Please_.”

Kara can practically feel the pout against her neck.

“Kara…”

Kara sighs. “What?”

“Thank you.”

Kara’s eyes open at that. She frowns. “Whatever for?”

Alex’s eyes are half open and earnest. “For taking care of me… For always being there. For loving me.”

Kara pecks Alex’s lips. “You don’t have to thank me for something you deserve.”

Alex blushes, blinking heavily. “Still…”

Kara smiles, Eskimo kissing Alex. “I’m your sister, _minnoş_. You’re the most important thing for me. In the whole wide multiverse.”

Alex giggles sleepily. “Multiverse?”

“Yeah. In any universe you’ll always be my number one.”

“… you’ll also be my number one. No matter when or where.”

Kara presses her lips against Alex’s forehead. “I’m glad.”

Alex nuzzles on Kara’s neck. “Sometimes…”

“Sometimes?”

Alex’s breathing is heavy when she mumbles. “Sometimes… I wish…”

Kara look at Alex and shakes her head. Of course she fell asleep the moment she was about to tell her something important.

No matter. She’ll ask tomorrow.

Right now? Right now, she just has to cuddle her baby and sleep.

Just cuddle her and sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you guys think?
> 
> Miss Luthor is finally introduced!!! Well, kinda.
> 
> I wasn't too happy about this chapter on the second read through, but I know that once something is written, it needs to be posted because otherwise I'll end re-writing till the end of times and no one wants that.
> 
> Thanks for the continuous support!


	22. Chapter 22

Alex looks around the small office. She was supposed to be picking up some papers and forms before heading to class, but there’s no one around.

The desk is empty and tidy, so she assumes whomever she’s here to see hasn’t arrived yet. To the side there’s a closed door with the name ‘Luthor’ engraved on the opaque window.

She shifts in place, what to do?

She chews on her lower lip, she still has twenty minutes until she has to find her homeroom and she’s not worried about the time, yet. Lucy said she’s come pick her up from the office as soon as she was done dealing with her cheerleader stuff.

She still can’t believe Lucy is a freaking cheerleader… only seeing her in her full gold and blue uniform this morning convinced her of the fact…

Alex can wait for whomever to show up, but if Lucy comes and she still hasn’t gotten the papers, then she’ll be in trouble.

“Good morning,” a brunette woman calls as she rushes into the office. She’s wearing a red suit and a white blouse that clings to her body just right. Her black heels are better meant for a board room than a school and her makeup for a runway, but her expression is stern as McGonagall’s. Alex can see this woman means business… the ensemble looks to be made just for her and there’s no way a normal person would put on so expensive makeup to go work on a Monday. Wow, Alex needs to stop listening to Kara as she rambles fashion. “Can I help you?”

Alex blinks and she feels the tip of her ears go red. “Er… yeah. Good morning…” She coughs, trying to clear her throat at the piercing green eyes that are looking expectantly at her. “I was meant to pick up some papers…?”

The woman nods, going to the desk. “Alexandra Danvers, I presume?”

Alex nods, her thumb idly playing with her lower lip. “Yes, ma’am.”

The woman looks at her with a funny glint behind her eyes for a second, before going back to shuffle papers on a drawer. “Have these signed by all your teachers and bring them back after classes,” she commands, handing over a handful of forms.

Alex takes them carefully. She has the feeling if she delivers these papers in any other form than pristine, there’ll be hell to pay.

This woman is intense.

“Thank you, ma’am,” Alex mumbles, looking at what she was given. The papers look simple enough, a place for the teachers to sigh and some basic info of Alex regarding whichever class the paper was meant for.

The woman nods. “Now, shoo,” she says with a wave of her hand, “or you’ll be late.”

Alex nods again and turns to leave, not before leaving a “have a good day, ma’am,” over her shoulder to the brunette.

“Are you okay?” Lucy asks from where she’s waiting by the door.

Alex blinks. “Yeah? Why wouldn’t I be?”

Lucy thrusts her thumb over to signal at the door. “That was Miss Luthor,” she explains in a whisper.

Alex’s eyes widen at that information. No wonder the lady was scary. “Oh.”

“Yeah. Now, c’mon. Homeroom teacher is a douche.”

Alex gulps and follows.

Hopefully her first day will be a good one.

XxXxX

Turns out… her first day wasn’t so bad, but it’s also not the greatest…

Homeroom teacher, Mr. Cobblepot, was indeed a douche and he made her introduce herself to the class… which didn’t go too well, if his red face was any indication.

She’s not shy talking in public, she lives off videos for goodness’ sake, so it was not like she stammered her way through her introduction, or that she said something wrong. But, honestly, there’s only so much she can tell for herself:

‘Hi, I’m Alex. I like parkour and I have a YouTube channel.’

There. Short, to the point and what she’s willing to share.

And of course, Mr. Cobblepot had to prod further:

‘Where are you from?’

‘Born and raised in National City.’

‘What school you were attending?’

‘Memorial High, near the docks.’

‘When were you born?’

‘My birthday is on January 17th.’

‘What do you like doing?’

‘Parkour.’

‘Do you have pets?’

‘No.’

‘Do you like football?’

‘Not really.’

‘What’s your favorite sport?’

‘Parkour.’

‘What’s your favorite _team_ sport?’

‘Beerpong.’

‘What do your parents do for a living?’

‘Never met them.’

The only reason the interrogation finished, was because she was saved by the bell, literally.

At least she made sure Lucy had an amazing time. Alex could see the older girl losing her shit the redder Mr. Cobblepot became with how short her answers were.

“He’s gonna make your life difficult,” Lucy said once they were out the room.

Alex shrugged. “He was rude, asking those questions.”

They separated after that, and Alex went to her AP Biology class. Thankfully Dr. Isley was not like Mr. Cobblepot and Alex got lost in all the information the older redhead had to offer.

Next, she met Dr. Quinzel, her AP Psychology teacher and that class was a riot. The woman is crazy, Alex is sure, but she came out the room knowing much more than she did going in, so she knows it’ll be a fun and productive class.

She met someone interesting in AP Calculus with Dr. Palmer. She didn’t get her name, but the girl apparently is also new to the school, so the attention was divided between them. She was really good at answering Dr. Palmer’s questions and Alex is looking forward to getting to know her more.

Lunch was a tiring affair.

Lucy introduced her to all her clique and she spent half an hour trying to learn who is who in the school and which relationships had changed during summer. If she hadn’t seen it, she wouldn’t have guesses Lucy is such a gossip.

Art was fun. She got to be messy with chalks in a controlled environment and she couldn’t be happier about it. The mysterious girl from Calculus was there too, and she got to sit next to her this time… however, they were both too into their works that they didn’t talk at all.

AP US History looks to be just like any other history class she’s had and she spent most of the class’ time doodling and getting started with her Biology homework.

The class that she liked the most, though, was AP English with Dr. Prince… which, amazingly enough, is a really small class. But, still, it was amazing hearing the woman talk about the classics and how they are still relevant today. It was really fascinating. And Dr. Prince was hot as hell. Smarts and looks? Alex is still surprised she didn’t combust during that lecture with how much she blushed.

It’s with still hot cheeks that Alex goes back to the front office to leave her now signed papers.

The desk is again empty, and she frowns at it, unsure what she should do.

To the side, she spots Miss Luthor’s door open.

She shuffles in place.

She takes her phone out and checks the time. It’s twenty to three and Kara said she’d pick her up at three, after running her errands. Lucy’s probably already busy with cheerleader practice and she promised dropping by at her house around five, to catch up and, amazingly, gossip, so she’s on her own at the moment.

She sighs.

Kara will worry if she isn’t at the door by three.

Lucy said Miss Luthor is scary, and her quick run-in with her confirmed that, but she needs to deliver the papers and she needs to do it before Kara panics.

So, steeling herself, she approaches the door and knocks on the frame.

The composed woman she met that morning is no longer around. Instead, Miss Luthor’s hair is out her stern ponytail, and the jacket of her suit is thrown carelessly on a chair. She can see the heels discarded under the desk and, yep, she forgot to touch up her lipstick after lunch.

She’s also buried in a small mountain of papers.

“Miss Danvers.” Miss Luthor looks up surprised to see her.

Alex waves sheepishly. She feels like she is intruding in some kind of personal moment. The kind that happens when things are not working out and it’s better no one sees the mess. “I brought my papers.”

Miss Luthor looks at the clock on her wall and groans. “School is out already.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Miss Luthor rubs at her face and Alex is reminded of Kara. “I’m sorry,” the woman apologizes. “My secretary gave birth unexpectedly over the weekend and I haven’t got the time to call in a replacement and start of term is always a busy time.”

That feels like too much information for a lowly student like herself, so Alex just smiles. “It’s okay, ma’am.” She waves the papers again. “Would you like me to leave these on the desk outside?”

Miss Luthor shakes her head. “No, give them to me, please.” Alex does as told, handing over the signed forms. “Now, I was going through your file and we are missing some information.” She ruffles among the papers on her desk. “If you’d be so kind to help me out, I’d appreciate it.”

Alex looks at the clock on the wall. She still has fifteen minutes before she needs to be out. She nods. “Of course.”

Miss Luthor motions to the chair not containing her jacket and Alex takes a seat.

“Alexandra Lee Danvers,” the older woman reads form a folder. “I think there was a mix-up, because we don’t have your address on record, nor most of your basic info.”

Alex’s eyebrows rise. “I’m sorry. I thought the papers sent were all you needed.”

Miss Luthor nods, but before she can continue, the landline on her desk rings. She raises on finger to signal Alex to wait and answers swiftly, “David E. Osbourne High, how may I help you?”

Miss Luthor passes the folder to Alex and motions for her to write down on it, passing her a pen from her desk to do so.

“Uh-uh, yes,” Miss Luthor says to whomever it’s on the other side of the line.

Alex rubs at her eye, tuning out the conversation and focusing on the folder.

Miss Luthor is right. There’s practically nothing on her in there, just her name and date of birth.

Alex hums. She thought J’onn would be more meticulous than this… although, in his defense, Kara informed him of her change of schools with little to no notice.

So, with the velvety voice of Miss Luthor as background noise, Alex sets to fill out the information about herself.

Place of birth is easy to fill, just like she told Mr. Cobblepot, she was born in National City and she has never lived in any other place. Name of tutor is easy too, and she feels so giddy writing down _Kara Aylin Zorel_ down on that dotted line. She allows herself to wonder for five solid minutes, what would it feel to see the name Alexandra Zorel written before her.

She shakes her head, trying to stop her daydreaming.

Height, weight, emergency contact information, someone to call if the tutor is not available, email address, of both herself and Kara…

Most of the information asked seems useless to Alex, but she dutifully fills everything in there, until she reaches something about herself she has no clue about.

“What?” She blinks to herself… she had no idea until right now that she doesn’t know her blood type.

She whisks her phone, which have been on silent, intending to ask Kara and grimaces.

She has three missed calls from Kara and around twelve texts.

She looks at the time.

Fuck. It’s three fifteen.

Kara’s panicking.

She quickly texts her.

_‘sry! on silent n @ principal office.’_

Kara’s text comes in less than a minute.

_‘Alexandra Lee! You’ll be the death of me!’_

Alex winces at the full name treatment. Before she can do anything but read the text, another comes from Kara.

_‘I thought I told you not to land on the principal’s office within your first week?’_

Alex scrunches up her nose.

_‘I didnt s not like tht’_

_‘I’ll tan your butt if you’re lying right now. You know better than this.’_

_‘m swear! ill xplain ltr’_

_‘what did you do this time?’_

_‘thx 4 da vot of confidanc’_

_‘Alex’_

How can Kara be menacing even on text?

“Something the matter?” Miss Luthor voice, directed this time to her, makes Alex jump.

Alex blushes. Apparently the woman is off her call and she was caught trying to defend her butt. “S-Sorry. My sister is worried… I was meeting her at three.”

Miss Luthor’s eyebrow rises at that, looking at the clock. “It’s only been fifteen minutes…?”

Alex’s blush deepens. “She worries.”

Miss Luthor nods. “She’s a good sister then. Are you finished yet?”

Alex nods back. “Yeah, just missing my blood type.”

Alex’s phone’s screen lights up in that moment, no doubt with a text from Kara.

Miss Luthor motions to the device with her chin. “Answer her, so she doesn’t worry. And ask her while you’re at it.”

Alex does as told, not once second guessing the order she was given.

If she were to take a moment to think about it… there’s something about Miss Luthor that compels her to just be a good girl. To do as asked.

If she were to take a moment to think about it… she’d realize Miss Luthor kind of reminds her of Kara in the way she looks at her.

_‘Alexandra, answer me!’_

_‘Alex!’_

_‘God help me, kid!’_

‘ _chill m still here. whats ma blood type’_

_‘???’_

There’s a moment of waiting, before Kara texts back.

_‘what? don’t change the topic. Why are you there?’_

_‘fillin papers. ma blood type?’_

_‘Alex’_

Alex sighs, making Miss Luthor look at her with a raised eyebrow. “What’s the matter?”

Alex doesn’t pout, no, se doesn’t. Her lower lip just likes to jot out in occasion. “My sister doesn’t believe I’m just doing paperwork.”

A certainly un-lady-like snort leave Miss Luthor’s lips. She smirks, “she thinks you did something to land here?” she teases and Alex forgets this woman is supposed to be scary.

Alex nods, pouting just slightly more.

Miss Luthor snorts again, shaking her head. “Invite her in, then,” she commands easily. “I’ll talk to her.”

Alex blinks owlishly at that. “Okay.”

_‘Miss Luthor wants talk 2 u’_

_‘give me head ups. What you did’_

Alex groans.

_‘nuttin. just come. fisrt door 2 da left’_

_‘omw’_

_‘you’re grounded’_

“She’s coming,” Alex announces sullenly at the last text.

Miss Luthor’s eyebrow rises at that. “You don’t have to be so excited.”

Alex’s lower lip wobbles as she rubs at her eye. “She just grounded me!”

If that statement, and it’s delivery, is shocking to the principal, Alex doesn’t register it. Kara’s knock comes from the open door and Alex turns to see her sister in all her angry glory.

Alex gulps and raises. “I didn’t do anything,” she defends again.

Kara shakes her head and turns to Miss Luthor. “Good afternoon, ma’am. Whatever she did, it won’t happen again.”

Miss Luthor has the gall to laugh at that. She raises and offers her hand to Kara. “Good afternoon, Miss Danvers. Alex has done nothing but be helpful, don’t worry.”

Kara blinks at that, while Alex mutters an “I told you so,” while crossing her arms.

“It’s Zorel,” Kara corrects automatically, shaking the other woman’s hand. “Kara Zorel, pleased to meet you.” Her eyes dart to the grumpy Alex. “She didn’t?”

“Lena Luthor. The pleasure is mine. And no. I asked her here to fill some forms we’re missing.”

Miss Luthor invites Kara to sit on the only unoccupied chair and she’s about to get her jacket from the other one so Alex can sit, when the girl surprises her sitting on her sister’s lap.

Mis Luthor stops for a moment, contemplating the duo.

“I told you I didn’t do anything,” Alex grumbles practically whining to her sister’s face.

Kara has the decency to look sheepish. She hugs Alex to her chest, murmuring. “I’m sorry, love. I just panicked.”

Alex huffs but lets herself be hugged.

Kara’s eyes find Miss Luthor’s over Alex’s shoulder. “What papers was she doing?”

Miss Luthor shakes her head, trying not to stare how the teen is practically melted against the blonde, not that Alex notices anything. She’s too busy relaxing for the first time in the whole day.

Up until now, Alex hadn’t noticed how tense she really had been. Being near Kara makes her feel like a balloon that is slowly deflating.

She missed Kara and her warmth.

“She did almost everything,” Miss Luthor says to Kara. “We are just missing her blood type.”

Kara nods, unconsciously pulling Alex closer to her. “O negative.”

Miss Luthor scribbles the information down and reads over what Alex wrote. “I think that’s it. She left the religion space blank, so I guess you are not practitioners?”

Alex shifts so she can see if there’s any judgment in Miss Luthor’s eyes and she’s happy to find none.

Kara answers her, “yeah. We don’t follow any religion. Is that important, how?” she asks curious.

Miss Luthor hums. “Most of our students are Catholic and the PA often asks for the school to respect their holidays, so I like keep track of the kids’ religions to make sure all are treated the same when it comes to special dates. We try to avoid doing events on days the kids are otherwise occupied.”

“That’s very thoughtful.”

Alex doesn’t miss the small smile Miss Luthor sends her sister.

“Is there anything else you need?”

Miss Luthor thumbs through the papers in Alex’s file. “I believe everything is in order.”

Kara nods and pats Alex’s leg, letting her know she has to stand up. “Then we’ll be going,” she says with a warm smile.

Miss Luthor raises with Kara and shakes hands with her again. “Have a nice day, Miss Zorel.”

Kara smiles warmly. “Please, just Kara, Miss Luthor.”

Miss Luthor smiles just as warmly. “Then please, it’s just Lena.”

Alex’s eyes narrow at the exchange.

“Come on, _minnoş_ ,” Kara bids Alex. “Let’s go home. It was a pleasure.”

Alex takes Kara’s hand, glaring slightly to her principal and shouldering her backpack.

“The pleasure was mine, Kara. Until tomorrow, Miss Danvers.”

“Good day, ma’am,” Alex replies sullenly.

“Come.” Kara tugs at her hand and leads them out the office and out the school.

Alex grunts and latches to Kara’s side the moment they are far enough away from the school. Their house is within walking distance and the weather is nice, so it makes sense for Kara not to bring the car.

“What’s the matter? I said sorry I jumped to conclusions.”

Alex shakes her head, rubbing at her eye. “’S not that.”

Kara’s arm hugs her shoulder. “Sleepy, _minnoş_?”

Alex nods. Over the summer and with Kara’s prompting, she got used to take a nap around this time.

It’ll be a bitch getting used to school schedule.

“You can take a nap when we get home.”

Alex just grunts.

“Why are you grumpy?”

Alex mutters under her breath.

Kara sighs. She stops their walking and hugs Alex tight. She kisses the girl’s temple. “I’m sorry I got upset so quickly…” she murmurs against her skin. “… I’ve been on edge all day and reacted badly. I’m really sorry.”

Alex sighs deeply and shakes her head. “’S not that.”

Kara sways them from side to side. “Then what it is?”

Alex pouts up at her. “You flirted with Miss Luthor!” she accuses.

Kara blinks owlishly at that. “…No? I didn’t.”

Alex’s pout deepens. “You did! She smiled at you!”

Kara sighs. “You can’t hate it every time someone smiles at me, baby.”

“I can!” Alex’s glare lacks heat and she rubs at her eye with the heel of her hand.

Kara takes Alex’s hand in hers, kissing her knuckles. “Come on. Someone’s cranky and sleepy. Let’s take you home for a nap and then we’ll talk, okay?”

Alex grunts and nods.

She doubts a nap will do her any good, though.

That won’t change the fact that Kara was, indeed, flirting with her principal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much of Little Alex in this one, but we needed to see a little of Alex's new school life and, well, we got to meet Lena, no?
> 
> Thank you all for reading and keeping up with this lovely duo.
> 
> Updates after this one might be done every other day, as today I didn't write at all and I'm regretting my career choice at the moment.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovelies!!!
> 
> I so hate virtual school.

“No. It’s Saturday,” Kara grumbles the moment she feels tugging on her sheets, trying to uncover her.

Alex doesn’t care, stealing the blankets as she forces her way under her covers and into her arms. She sighs deeply and burrows against Kara’s chest.

“It’s too early, _minnoş_. Sleep.” Kara mumbles against her hair.

Alex doesn’t comment.

Kara forces an eye open to look down at her.

Alex is dead asleep already, her thumb in mouth and her free hand clutching onto Kara’s top.

Kara smiles.

Their first week back at school was hard.

Nothing really happened at school, but after three months of basking on each other and simply being, going back to reality was a shock to their systems.

Waking up so Alex can be at school at seven thirty is the first thing they had to get used to again. Amazingly, when it comes to school, Alex is the one always up on time and rushing Kara around… because apparently, no matter that Alex is behaving a little more her age, she wouldn’t take off her pull-ups on her own, forcing Kara to be up to help her dress.

While Alex will take a quick shower – because, no, she is not giving up her baths at bedtime either – Kara will make a quick shake for both as breakfast and Alex’s lunch – because apparently school food is yuck and Kara doesn’t feel comfortable with Alex going out to get food. Then, Alex will go out the door to meet Lucy and walk to school.

Without Alex around, Kara is building her own schedule to be productive while the girl is in school and being able to have the evenings off to take care of Alex. So far, Lucy’s crashed dinner twice and the girl was good at knowing when to go home, not forcing Kara to ask her to leave before Alex’s bedtime.

Maybe it had to do with the simple fact that Kara once commented lightly that Alex’s sleeping schedule was to be enforced more rigidly now that school was in session, leaving a confused Lucy and an embarrassed Alex behind.

So, Kara has the day to do as she needs to keep the content coming and the bills paid.

However, that first Monday, she didn’t spend working.

She spent investigating.

She finally took the time – and courage – to read on what age regression is. Why it happens. How to read the signs. How to act around a person who is regressing…

It was a very stressful morning and the reason she got so worked up so quickly when she went pick Alex up. Not only she read the word trauma more times than she can count, but she also had to read countless of articles on the sexualization of it.

She was freaked out and not having Alex near her simply made her too nervous, too frantic.

She had nothing against those sexualizing the regression, but Alex is her baby and Max’s stunt suddenly became way too fresh in her mind then.

And Alex wasn’t there after school, and she didn’t pick up when she called and she didn’t text until Kara was already a nervous mess.

So, obviously she tried to hide her fear under the anger she felt at Alex being at the principal’s office and she unloaded on her.

Thankfully, by the time Alex got up from her nap, a nap where she cuddled with Alex the whole time, the girl had already forgiven her and understood she was simply panicky.

After Lucy went home, the rest of that day was spent editing for Kara and doing homework for Alex. Then it was bath time and then bedtime. By midnight, a groggy Alex woke Kara to be changed and Kara, too tired from their first day in real life, didn’t ask permission or input before putting a diaper around the half-asleep girl.

Alex whined through the process, flinching away from the cold wipes, but Kara was right: putting a diaper on the wiggly girl was easier than putting pull-ups on her. The moment the wiping process was done, Kara had no trouble and heard no protest over the diaper.

That became their nightly routine. Alex wakes Kara up between midnight and one and Kara proceeds to change the pull-ups for diapers while Alex goes back to sleep and then they’ll sleep cuddled until morning.

Yesterday was the first day Kara made the executive decision to put Alex in diapers after her bath and the result was that Alex is just getting into her bed.

Kara looks at the time and she smiles. Alex slept through the night for the first time in months. She pats Alex’s butt and notices she needs a change, but the diaper doesn’t feel as heavy as the pull-ups always do.

Kara hums. It’s barely six and Alex can wait for another couple of hours for a change. With how asleep Alex looks and how she slept with the soiled diaper through the night, Kara believes that’s a solid choice.

So, she snuggles her baby, smelling her sweet hair and lets herself be lulled back to sleep.

XxXxX

“Kay.”

“Sleep.”

“Kaaaay.” Kara feels Alex shaking her shoulder.

Kara’s arm around Alex’s waist tightens its holds on the girl and she smothers Alex under the covers again. “Sleep.”

Alex wiggles and grunts, trying to get away. “Kay! Up!”

Kara whines. “It’s too early!”

Alex whines back. “’M hungry!”

“Have cereal,” she says, letting the girl go.

“’M bored.” Alex doesn’t move from her spot.

“Go watch TV.”

“Need to peeeeeee,” she whines, pointing to the diaper, clearly indicating she wants out of it.

Kara peeks at Alex’s crotch. “That’s what the diaper is for.”

Alex blushes scarlet at that. “Kaaaaaay!”

Kara laughs, finally relenting. “Roll over, then.”

Alex glares, but rolls on her back so Kara can free her from the diaper. The moment Kara is done untapping it, Alex is out the bed in a flash and across the hall into the bathroom.

Kara snorts. “Make sure to clean your butt!” she calls after her.

“That’s your job!” Alex calls back.

Kara’s eyebrow raises at that. She has two options here, go and make sure Alex indeed cleans the overnight pee from her butt – which could be just for jest or for real, depending on how Alex is feeling today –, or she can just get up and get ready for breakfast.

She doesn’t want to let Alex down, if the girl is indeed asking for help, so she jumps to her feet and strolls into the bathroom.

Alex is still seated and looking up at her.

“Need help cleaning yourself?” Kara asks quietly.

Alex blushes a little but nods.

Kara nods back. So, Alex is feeling a little dependent today. She can work with that. In fact, she wants to help. It’s been a long week. “Then let’s hop in the shower. And I was thinking, breakfast at Noona’s?”

Alex’s grin is answer enough.

XxXxX

“Today’s the start of term party,” Alex says around a mouthful of sticky bun, which makes it impossible for Kara to understand her.

Kara taps her hand. “Chew, swallow, speak.”

Alex does as prompted, opening her mouth once she’s done so Kara can see all the food is gone. “I said, today’s the start of term party,” she announces before shoveling another sticky bun in her mouth.

Kara takes a sip of her tea. She hums. “Do you want to go?” she asks uncertain.

Ever since that fateful party during summer, Alex hasn’t asked permission to attend any other. If she’s honest with herself, Kara doesn’t really want to let her go… but she doesn’t have a good enough reason to keep her home other than her own fears.

Alex shakes her head. She makes sure to swallow before answering, “I don’t like Lucy’s friends.”

Kara raises an eyebrow. They haven’t talked much about the people as Alex’s new school, both preferring to simply enjoy each other in the evenings to actually catch up with one another.

Maybe that’s something Kara needs to keep in mind.

“Explain.”

Alex swallows the last of her sticky buns and takes a huge sip from her strawberry milkshake before answering. “There’s Oliver. He’s a little like Max, but, like a better human being. Still too stuck up. Then, there’re Barry and Iris. They are dating and gross. They kiss all the time and they are always sneaking around to hook up.”

“Barry? Why do I know that name?”

Alex smiles sheepishly. “That’s the Barry Max bullied into changing schools.”

Kara nods. She knows that story well enough.

In their freshman year, Max started a prank campaign that escalated into bullying against one of the kids in the science club. It could never be proved it was Max the one behind it all, but Alex and her clique knew the truth, and hence, so did Kara.

“Then, there’s Kate. She’s cool, but she’s also… too intense? She’s in the soccer team, not like the rest that are cheerleaders, and she’s a little too full of herself. She’s the kind of person you’d end up in jail with.”

Kara snorts. Leave it to Alex to phrase it like that.

“And Sara is chill, but she and Kate are always trying to updo the other, so they are always fighting and seeing who’s the best athlete and it’s tiring. She’s the kind of person you call if you need bailing.”

“Why? Too goody-two-shoes?”

“Nah. More like, I don’t think the police would ever catch her.”

Kara snorts again. “Those last two sound just like your type of friends.”

Alex pouts. “Yeah, but they are really intense. Like, hella intense. I don’t want to get into more trouble.”

Kara’s heart swells at knowing that finally, finally, Alex understand that little fact.

She nods. “Fair enough, _minnoş._ You haven’t met anyone you’d like being friends with?”

Alex nods back, enthusiastically. “Yeah! Her name’s Maggie. She’s new too and she’s in my Calculus and my art class. She’s smart and funny! She’s also really good at watercolors. We haven’t talked much, but we did lunch yesterday and I think I prefer her to Lucy’s company.”

Kara smiles at how excited her baby is. “It looks like someone has a crush,” she teases.

Alex nose scrunches up. “Ew. No.”

Kara laughs. “Why not?”

“I’m a kid. I’m too young.”

Kara takes another sip of her tea, if only to stop herself from pointing out how many times Alex has said just the opposite over the summer. So, instead, she teases further, “good you feel that way. Because you are not dating until you are thirty.”

“Okay.” Alex shrugs, slurping on her milkshake.

Kara shakes her head, amused. When love comes knocking on Alex’s door, she’ll make sure to remind the girl of this.

She’s tempted to do as some Facebook moms do, make Alex sign a paper stating she won’t date until she’s grey in the head.

That’d be so good blackmail material.

“So, you are not going to the party?” Kara asks, just to be certain.

Alex tilts her head to the side, pouting. “Can’t I stay home with you?” she asks in a little voice.

Kara frowns a little. “Alex,” she scolds mildly. “You never have to question that.”

Alex nods happily. “Me know. Just wanted to make you feel bad.”

Kara just rolls her eyes at how melodramatic the girl can be.

“Can we do a Disney marathon?”

Kara nods. “Sure. I want to go live for a couple of hours but we can watch movies after.”

Alex beams. “Cool! I still have some homework to do. I can do it while you’re working.”

Kara slaps Alex’s hand gently when the girl tries to serve herself another sticky bun from the small mountain between them. “No more, Alex.”

The girl pouts. “Why not?”

“You already ate five of those. And a double milkshake. I don’t want you to get sick.”

Alex pouts harder. “But you ordered a lot of them!”

“And we are taking them home Alex. Don’t’ worry.”

Alex’s pout doesn’t clear. Instead, her eyes grow large and her lip wobbles. “Pwease?”

Kara glares without heat. “That’s not playing fair.”

“Pwease, Kay.”

Kara sighs. “Half of one.”

“Yay!”

This girl is going to be the death of her.

XxXxX

“- Oh, no. We are not dating! C’mon, guys. We’ve talked about this! James’ my best friend. And, before you lot ask, no. I don’t have anyone in sight.” Kara answers to the questions that keep rolling on her screen.

“Kay?” Alex calls as she enters the studio, not noticing Kara is still live.

“Gimme a moment, guys.” She turns her attention to Alex. “What’s up, _minnoş_?”

Alex blushes. “Sorry, didn’t notice you aren’t done.”

Kara waves her off, pretty aware she’s still live and the fans are freaking out at listening to Alex’s voice in the background. Still, she doesn’t think this is bad. “It’s fine. What did you need?”

Alex waves some papers sheepishly. “Help,” she says quietly. “But it’s okay. It’s not due till Friday.”

Kara nods. “All done with the rest?”

“Yep!”

Kara nods to the camera. “Want to join me? I still have half an hour left and there’re people here wanting to now how your first week went.”

Alex nods and, after leaving her papers out of view, goes to stand behind Kara, hugging her neck. Her eyes go wide at the influx of messages, most of them directed at her.

She waves at the camera. “Hi, guys. Sorry to crash this party, but I heard you’re asking after me?”

The messages coming in double in intensity, most of them asking about her new school, and how classes were going. There’s the usual rude comment on how good they look together and how Alex should post more intimate photos.

Thankfully, they both had learnt to filter those out.

“School’s cool,” Alex informs Kara’s fanbase. “I’m making friends and classes are fine so far.”

“This one’s taking all AP classes!” Kara gushes.

Alex blushes on cue. “That’s not worth mentioning,” she grumbles.

The string of messages pouring in let her know that, no, that’s not as normal as she thought.

Alex’s blush intensifies and she hides behind against Kara’s head.

“C’mon, Micheal_1112!” Kara laughs. “I know she’s pretty and has brains, but Alex is not dating until she’s thirty,” Kara answers one of the most persistent commenters, asking for Alex to date him.

“Yeah. I’m not looking for a relationship,” Alex seconds.

They read the messages for a couple of seconds.

“Dude, no,” Alex says to one commenter, nose scrunched up. “We are not dating. You know this.”

Their fanbases know they live together. They know there are really close. Kara’s fans have seen Alex grow along Kara’s channel, just like Alex’s fans have seen a lot of Kara over the videos.

However, both have been ambiguous about what their relationship really entails.

Kara’s sure their most hardcore fans, those that been around since the beginning of their channels, know they are foster sisters and that they grew up together.

However, with Alex being a minor and her moving in with Kara being a delicate process, they tried to do their best to just make sure people knew they are long time friends. Every time the Kalex tag shows up, they both deny it intensively.

In any other lifetime, in any other universe, Kara thinks they could’ve grown to be together like that. But this lifetime is not that one.

The way some people think is starting to bother her.

One of this days, they need to do a Q&A video… or one of those 50 facts about me ones.

“Kara’s basically my mom. We are not together,” Alex adds, when she read another Kalex comment.

Kara’s heart skips at that. “That’s right,” she says after a second of silence. “This one’s my kid, people. We are not dating. We’ve told you plenty of times.”

Alex’s smile is wide when she presses a kiss to Kara’s cheek. “This is my _annem_ ,” she declares to the world wide web. “Please, no more Kalex stuff.”

And if Kara’s heart burst to that comment, she’s the only one that know, as she keeps her face professional and open to the fans.

The Internet, and the girl that keeps talking about her week at school, are non the wiser.

And if Kara has a mini melt down after Alex’s is fast asleep, lulled by Frozen?

Well… maybe she calls Nia in order to properly freak out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just fluff for y'all guys!!
> 
> Not much of plot development here, although there was a major thing happening, wasn't it? *wink* *wink*
> 
> Also, fun fact... doing editing I noticed that in every single chapter of this story Kara calls Alex 'love' at least once, and that made me really happy.just wanted to share that :)


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi loves!!!!
> 
> Give thanks to awesomesauce2366, who kindly asked for a quicker update!!!
> 
> I hope I catch you awake still!

When she told her parents she was not following on the family footsteps, they laughed at her and told her she was stupid to follow a career in education.

No. Lena Luthor had to focus on science and development, so she could help Lex lead the family company into the future.

Lena didn’t listen.

She was proud and happy to give her all to the development of young minds, to the building of a better country, educating and guiding the future of the nation. She graduated top of her class, taught for five years while she got her Masters on Educational Administration and soon she was appointed principal of David E. Osbourn, a small school in one of the busiest districts in California.

She is a genius, she can confirm that. She graduated high school at fifteen and then, four years later, she was teaching teens just a year or two younger than her.

She has several accomplishments under her belt.

But it’s in times like these, that she can hear her mother’s voice telling her ‘I told you so’.

It’s times like these, that she regrets her career choice.

The woman’s shrill cries are giving her a migraine.

“I repeat, Miss Luthor! I demand that demon to be expelled!”

She forces out a smile. “Ms. Matthews, and I repeat, I already gave your son his punishment. It’d be better if you leave now.” She glares at Ms. Matthews. “And we cannot expel Miss Danvers, given the circumstances.”

Said Miss Danvers is sitting in a chair by the door, just out of sight from whomever comes in the outer office. She’s sitting next to Mike Matthews, but in contrast to him, she’s sitting tranquilly. Her posture is relaxed and she’s even swinging her legs as she waits. Her face is open and the bruise on her cheek does little to show that this kid is not worried at all.

This is the second time she’s seen the girl, and she can’t understand the dichotomy of her.

That first time the girl was in her office she was nervous, thinking her sister – who she came to understand is her guardian – would believe she did something to get in trouble. But now, now that she was indeed in trouble, the girl is as relaxed as one could be sitting on a stiff chair with a bruised face and bruised knuckles.

“Miss Luthor! That demon hit my son!”

Lena sighs. “As far as I heard it, he hit her first.”

“No! That’s a lie! Mike wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“Ms. Matthews,” Lena grits out. “Mike is suspended for a week. I advise you, leave with him now or else I’ll suspend him for another week. You wouldn’t like that, ma’am, seeing as your son might miss enough practice to be benched for the season.”

The woman tenses. “Are you threatening me?”

Lena raises an eyebrow and channels all her Luthor-ness into her look. “No, ma’am. I’m letting you know his punishment is a mild one that can always get worse. With the trouble you son causes in this school, I could easily expel him for good… but I know his problems aren’t his alone.” She looks the woman up and down. “He’s just a mirror of what he sees at home.”

The woman thankfully flinches at the look and winces at the words.

“Fine!” she shrills again. “I’ll file my complain with the PA and school board!”

Lena nods. “Please do, ma’am.”

The woman stands to leave, but, because the universe is against Lena, that’s the exact same moment Miss Zorel decides to arrive.

Ms. Matthews, like a dog with a bone, is on her in an instant. “You are responsible for this bitch?!”

Miss Zorel, to her credit, doesn’t flinch at the volume nor the language. She just raises an eyebrow and wow, bad Lena, don’t think the cut of her jaw, with those stern eyes are hot. “You are?” she says in a cold tone.

“Mike’s mother. Your spawn hit him!” she says pointing.

Miss Zorel eyes go to the boy. Her other eyebrow raises too. “I don’t see how that’s possible… My Alex is half his size and, from what I can see, also way younger than him.”

Ms. Matthews opens her mouth to retort, but Lena has seen enough of the woman. “Please, ma’am,” she says quickly. “I’ve told you Mike punishment. It’s time you leave.”

Ms. Matthews turn to Lena again, red in the face. “And what punishment will she receive?” she demands.

“Whatever punishment is fit. Have a good day, ma’am.” She glares at her again, willing her to, for fuck’s sake, _leave_.

The woman sniffs and turns, beckoning her meatball of a son to follow her. “I’ll file that complaint!” she announces.

Lena doesn’t dignify the woman’s words with a comment, her focus now on the kneeling blonde by Miss Danvers.

Miss Zorel, just like her sister, is acting calmer than last time she saw her. Why is that? she wonders. This duo is weird. When she spoke with Miss Zorel on the phone the other woman was momentarily worried, until Lena made it clear her call was not due an accident, but a fight.

That was the moment the blonde changed tracks to a calmer approach as she let Lena know she’d be at the school as soon as possible.

Too bad as soon as possible still made Ms. Mathews the first to arrive.

Lena would’ve like it better if she could’ve spent the time with Miss Zorel instead of that shrill woman.

“Hey, he hit you good.” She hears Miss Zorel comment as she inspects the girl’s face. “Did you hit him?”

Miss Danvers nods. “Yeah.”

Miss Zorel inspects the girl’s hand then. “You didn’t break anything.”

“I know how to throw a punch.”

Lena sees the blonde sigh. “Why did you? I know you know the consequences for fighting.”

Lena sees Miss Danvers straighten and look into the blonde’s eyes determined. “I know them.”

She can’t see Miss Zorel’s face, but Lena can hear the slight amused snort. “And you think whatever the reason you hit him is good enough to ignore those consequences?”

Miss Danvers nods.

“Enlighten me.”

“He was harassing a freshman. She was a small girl and he was looming over her. He kept talking about his dick, and she kept trying to get away, and he wouldn’t let her. So, I asked him to leave and he didn’t. I pushed him so the girl could run off and then he hit me. I hit back.”

Miss Zorel nods. She combs some of the girl’s hair back. “You did good,” she says quietly. “Although pushing is not good either.”

“He wouldn’t budge.”

“I understand.” Miss Zorel leaves a kiss on the girl’s forehead. “Good girl, Lexie.”

Miss Zorel stands up then, turning to face Lena. She smiles warily. “Sorry,” she apologies. “But I needed to make sure she’s alright.”

Lena waves her off. “Not to worry, Miss Zorel. I understand.” She looks at Miss Danvers. “And I understand why she did what she did. However, I cannot let her go unpunished.” Lena ushers the blonde to sit before her one. “Come join us, Miss Danvers.”

The girl raises meekly and, just as Lena suspected, chooses to sit with her sister rather than on her own.

Lena, being the professional she is, and having had her minor in Psychology, decides not to comment on it and just focus on their interactions.

This pair intrigues her.

“Miss Danvers,” she begins. “I really understand why you hit him, and believe me, if he wasn’t the school sweetheart, I’d expelled him, but I need to punish you, at least to mollify his mother and the PA.”

Miss Danvers nods. “I understand, ma’am.”

Lena echoes the sad smile Miss Zorel sends her way. “I believe a week of after-school detention would do the trick, don’t you think, Miss Zorel?”

Miss Danvers’ head tilts to the side, like a lost puppy. “That’s it?”

Lena smiles wide. “Yes, Miss Danvers. That’s it.”

The girl frowns and turns to look at her sister. “Really?”

“Looks like it. Want me to ask for more time?”

The girl’s eyes widen comically. “No! That’s fine.”

Miss Zorel chuckles and she turns to look at Lena, whose heart does not skip a beat at the smile there. “Thank you, Miss Luthor.”

Lena clears her throat. “I believe I asked you to call me Lena?” Now that the serious stuff is dealt with, Lena does believe they can go back to first name basis.

“Only if you call me Kara,” Miss Zorel answers easily.

Miss Danvers rolls her eyes.

Uh. Looks like the girl isn’t approving of this.

“Miss Danvers,” Lena calls to the girl, enjoying for a moment the barely-there wince in her face at being caught. “You’ll come serve your detention with me. I’ll expect you here after class tomorrow.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Mis-Kara, pats Miss Danvers on the leg. “Let’s get going. It’s James’ turn to make dinner and he’s making his famous baked cod.”

Shoot. She didn’t expect a man to be in the picture.

Of course. Different last names, blonde with a cute face… of course she’s already married.

Oh, well. It’s not illegal to look.

Miss Danvers’ eyes widen and it’s obvious she’s excited. “I’m hungry,” she declares as she stands up.

Kara snorts. “It’s still early, but we can have a snack.”

Lena can’t help but stare at them. The way they interact, the way they flow around each other… she’s never seen a sister duo like this one.

Both turn to her.

“I’ll be taking this one home,” Kara says softly.

Lena nods. She wasn’t asked permission, and even though its only Wednesday and there are two classes left, she will let these two leave. Miss Danvers’ cheek needs icing and that’d probably be better done at home.

“Of course.” She raises too, offering her hand for a handshake. “It was good seeing you again… even if the circumstances weren’t the best.”

Kara’s smile can rival the sun. “It was indeed good. Until next time, Lena.”

Lena sees how Miss Danvers rolls her eyes again.

“Until next time. See you tomorrow, Miss Danvers.”

“Bye.” The girl waves to her, before turning to her sister. “Hungry,” she announces again.

Kara snorts as she ushers her out the door. “Then let’s get going, you, garbage disposal.”

“… does that mean your food is garbage?”

“Hey!”

Miss Danvers’ laughter fades as they leave the outer office and Lena hums.

There’s something in those two that simply makes her skin itch. In the good way.

She’ll crack the mystery that those two poses. And she’s not above using the detention time to try and pry some information from the girl.

XxXxX

“Miss L?”

Lena looks up, seeing Miss Danvers peeking her head into her office.

It’s a new week and Miss Danvers have been of great help with organizing the files required for the start of term. Today’s her last day of detention, but this is the first time the girl comes looking for her during classes.

However, it seems the closeness of the past few days have made the teen comfortable around her. Enough that she now is referred as ‘Miss L’ rather than Miss Luthor.

“Yes, Miss Danvers?”

The kid scrunches up her nose and Lena wonders why. She’s come to associate that little tick to the girl not liking something, and as far as she knows, today she hadn’t done or say anything to the girl to warrant that face.

This girl is incredibly opinionated on today’s events, and it had surprised Lena that during her detention she’d talk with her freely about what’s going on in the world. She’s talked about the President’s latest reforms and how they are, or not, helping the country, just like she’s talked about the latest celebrity gossip and fashion shows.

When asked how would she know about what’s expected to happen during this season’s fashion weeks, the girl had admitted sheepishly that Kara is into that and it’s kinda hard not knowing when she’d always rant and gush about it for hours around this time of the year.

She’s also talked lengthily about LGBT+ rights and, once she noticed Lena is indeed an ally – not that the girl knows yet she’s a lesbian – her rants had gotten rather cute to watch. It’s not that what the girl says is dumb, no, it was just that she gets so passionate, twice now she’s left detention late.

The girl is a mystery wrapped in a small frame and Lena enjoys deeply each and one of her detentions.

She’s going to miss the girl’s company and their discussions.

Miss Danvers places a paper bag on her desk, a desk that the girl has helped clean during her detention. “Lunch, ma’am,” she announces simply.

Lena is so confused.

“Excuse me?”

Miss Danvers starts scratching her cheek, leaving red marks behind, as she looks around the office. “I’ve noticed you eat a lot of take out,” she mumbles and, god, this girl is adorable when flustered. “And that much take out isn’t good.”

Lena hums. It is true that by the time Miss Danvers comes serve her detention she’s just trashing her lunch’s containers, but she hadn’t thought the girl would pick on it. Nor care, for that matter.

Although, thinking about it, it makes sense she’d care.

“We made falafel yesterday,” the girl continues. “So I brought you some.”

Lena smiles. “Thank you, Alex.”

The girl beams. “You’re welcome, ma’am.”

Lena is really going to miss this girl.

“Now, shoo,” she orders with a flick of her hand. “You’ll miss your own lunch if you linger too long here.”

Alex nods and turns to leave. “See ya later!” she calls happily.

Lena shakes her head. She’s attracted to Kara, she’ll admit, but she’ll also admit that Alex is crawling into her heart at a really fast pace.

And kids like that, it’s what made Lena want to pursue education.

Days like this, is what makes her love her career.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's weird writing from Lena's POV after doing it from Kara's and Alex's for so long.
> 
> I love Lena, btw.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, another chapter for y'all.
> 
> Love you guys.

“You really like her.”

Alex turns from where she’s packing her lunch into her backpack to Kara. “Uh?”

Kara motions to the other bag on the counter. “You like Miss Luthor. You’ve been taking her lunch for a month now.”

Alex shrugs. “You are the one actually making her lunch, though.” She scrunches up her nose. “Also, I’m not the one putting little messages in her bag either.”

Kara snorts. “Fair. Still, you like her.”

Alex’s head tilts to the side. “She’s… easy to talk to. She listens.”

Kara fake gasps, clutching at her chest. “And I don’t?!”

Alex rolls her eyes with a giggle. “You are dumb, Kay.”

Kara taps Alex butt gently. “Hey, be more respectful to this old lady,” she mock scolds.

Alex answer is to stick her tongue out.

And Kara wastes no time into trying to take a bite of it.

Alex covers her mouth with both her hands, squealing, “noooooo!”

Kara laughs at that.

Granted, when she first received the call from Lena regarding Alex’s involvement in a fight, she was scared and a little angry. However, the way Lena worded the problem and how calm she had been, made Kara realize that whatever Alex did, she was not actually in trouble.

The week of detention did good to Alex, too. She came home after spending a couple of hours with Lena chipper and energized. She’d spend the evening telling Kara all about what Lena said during detention and, if Kara hadn’t known better, she’d think Alex is crushing on her principal.

Kara knows Alex hasn’t made friends yet at school, and for a social person like Alex, that’s not good. She’s used to have people to hang with and to be able to talk and engage with people her age during school. Alex thinks she never noticed, but Kara has always known that’s the main reason Alex likes school.

Back at the Henshaws, Alex was the youngest kid, by a lot. The kids fostered there usually are above ten and Alex was three when she arrived at their doorstep. Ms. Henshaw started Alex early into school and it was there that Alex learnt to interact – and enjoy – people her own age. Even after she moved out, Kara knows the Henshaws took in kids older than Alex, so the only sort of companionship of people her own age Alex has ever had is school.

Now that Alex is no longer near Max and Siobhan, the lack of friends her own age is starting to concern Kara. Alex needs the interaction, but she’s not making friends.

Alex’s high school is a small one, so most her classes have just fifteen students at most and that makes it hard for Alex to find someone to make friends with… Memorial High smallest class was forty kids, so there was always someone to talk to.

Sure, Lucy is around, but with football season looming closer each week, the small brunette is spending more and more time at practice.

It also doesn’t help Alex’s feelings towards Lucy’s friends haven’t changed yet. She still insists she rather stay away from them, even if she sometimes eats lunch with them.

The only other person Kara has heard mentioned is Maggie, but as far as Alex has said, the Latina girl keeps to herself and isn’t looking to make friends.

And that’s the reason Alex serving her detentions with Lena was a good thing. Alex got to interact with someone other than Kara or her friends for once, and apparently the principal is easy going enough that the age difference doesn’t bother Alex.

And apparently, Alex grew to like Lena enough that she now brings her lunch everyday.

She hasn’t asked if Alex eats her lunch with her principal yet, but she believes that’s going to end up being the case if Alex doesn’t branch out soon.

“Hurry, _minnoş_ ,” Kara grins, picking her car keys and jingling them. “I’ll drop you off.”

Alex nods. “Whatcha doing today?” she asks. It’s becoming normal for Kara to walk Alex to school and to pick her up by foot too, now that Lucy has to show up early and stay late. It’s rare for Alex to be driven to school.

“I’m recording downtown,” Kara smiles.

Alex’s eyes widen. “You’re recording for the Vlog channel?”

“Yes I am.”

After months of wanting to try, and weeks of deliberating if it was even viable, Kara decided to finally open her Vlogging channel. It’s going to be a new adventure and she already have the moving out video and the House Tour ready to be posted as soon as she creates more content and finishes with her new intro.

“Should I record something too?” Alex asks her eagerly as they leave the house.

Kara bops her nose. “We’ve talked about this, Alex. _You_ are not vlogging.”

Alex pouts. “Why not?”

“Because you need to concentrate on school, _minnoş_. And you want to keep doing your parkour videos.” Kara opens the car door for her. “You can’t do the three and I refuse to let your grades drop.”

Alex’s lower lip wobbles as Kara climbs on the driver’s seat. “Pwease.”

Kara rolls her eyes and pecks the pout before starting the car. “No. You’ll show up plenty in whatever I end up uploading, either way. I don’t want you vlogging.”

Alex crosses her arms. “No fair.”

“Yes fair.”

“How is that fair?”

“Because I can always make you stop recording altogether.” It’s an empty threat, but Alex is acting like toddler Alex and this is the kind of reasoning little Lexie always listens to.

And, yes, little Lexie is home, because the girl gasps and shakes her head. “No vlogging! Me promise!”

Kara smiles, rolling to a stop before the high school. “Good girl.” She turns to Alex to see her fully. “Now, Nia is picking you up and taking you home. Wait for her, okay?”

Alex pouts. “Why aren’t you coming?”

“I’m going to be recording a lot and I have some errands to run. I don’t think I’ll be back before you’re out of school, but I promise I’ll be home after you wake from your nap.”

Lexie is comfortable with both James and Nia, but Kara prefers Nia babysitting Alex. Not only does Nia know about Alex’s regression, Nia also manages to make Alex behave. If she were to ask James to keep an eye on Alex, she’s sure she’ll come back to a disaster of some kind.

“I don’t want a nap,” Alex informs with shiny eyes.

Kara frowns, barely. Toddler Lexie is indeed here… and apparently, she’s staying.

Kara has, over the last month, after studying all she could on regression and conferring with Nia for hours, learnt to read Alex’s moods and ages.

Most of the afternoon, Alex spends her time in a young tween mindset, specially when she’s just fresh out of school or doing her homework. With how she talks and how she expresses herself, Nia and Kara had determinate this Alex is, at much, ten years old.

Then, there’s the relaxed Alex, which is a toddler, around maybe three. She shows up in the early mornings, before her shower, and after she’s up from her mandatory evening nap. This Alex, Kara believes, is the one Alex is most comfortable in. This is the mindset Alex stays in during the nights and this is the one Alex that likes her baths and cuddles before bed. This Alex is also the one that stays during the weekends, the one that demands her attention and that is so eager to play and color. This is her little Lexie.

Now, there’s also an Alex she hasn’t seen for a while, but that she knows is somewhere in there. This Alex is the one that goes non-verbal and emotional, the one that she’s seen at least twice, when Alex is the most distressed. That’s an Alex Kara doesn’t like to see, but only because it meant Alex is suffering.

However, just as she’s learnt to read the girl, she’s also learnt to bump Alex into the oldest mindset possible before going to school.

A gentle reminder of the day’s plans usually is enough to do that, along with their walk to school, always manages to prepare her for the day.

Maybe bringing the car was a bad idea after all.

“Hey,” Kara scolds gently, rubbing her thumb along Alex’s cheek. “No crying now. I’m sure that, if you behave for Nia, she’ll let you wait for me up.”

Alex sniffs, barely, and nods, rubbing her eyes with the heel of her hands.

“Now, love. I need you to go to school, okay?”

“Yes, _anne_ ,” the girl replies sullenly.

And that’s another clue that Alex is indeed still deep into her toddler persona. Little Lexie, toddler Lexie, has gotten into the habit of calling her that, and Kara, being the coward she is, hasn’t bring it up at all.

“Hey, Lexie” Kara murmurs. “Look at me and tell me why you are pouting, so I can fix it.”

Alex shakes her head and Kara sighs.

Rubbing her eye, Alex just mutters. “Nothing.”

Kara frowns lightly. “Baby…”

Alex shakes her head again and opens the car’s door. “See ya.” She leans into Kara just enough to press a kiss to Kara’s lips and then she’s off.

Kara sighs.

She hopes Alex’s day is a good one.

XxXxX

“Miss L?”

Lena looks up to see Alex hovering at her door.

Over the last month the girl has dutifully brought her lunch every day, and no matter how much she protests that’s something Alex doesn’t need to do, Alex keeps insisting it’s no bother at all.

In exchange, and after a week of trial and error in which Lena has learnt the girl is nuts about everything strawberry, she buys the girl a Noona’s double strawberry milkshake.

The first time she offered the large cup to Alex, her smile was so wide and she was so giddy, Lena couldn’t keep her own smile away from the rest of the day.

Honestly, this girl is too adorable for her own sake.

“Hey, Alex,” Lena greets easily.

Alex comes in the office, leaving her two bags on the desk, before collapsing on a chair and resting her head on her crossed arms.

This… is different.

“Hey, something the matter?” Lena asks her, concerned.

Alex shakes her head. “Nuttin’.”

Lena’s eyebrow rises… Alex sounds… off…

“You can talk to me, Alex.” She rests a hand on Alex’s own.

Calling the girl Alex is now as normal for her as to let herself be called ‘Miss L’.

Wanting for her to smile and rant and complain about the unfairness of the country they live in… well, that’s apparently also normal for her too. She doesn’t like how Alex is acting now.

Alex looks at her with wide, wounded eyes. “Can I eat here?”

That makes Lena blink. That’s a request she doesn’t know how to answer.

“Don’t you rather eat with your friends?”

Alex noses scrunches up and Lena realizes too late she messed it up.

Alex nods. She straightens and forces a smile on her face. “I guess,” she says in a murmur.

She raises and hands her one bag. “Today’s ham panini. Kara made yours with no mayo.”

Lena takes the bag and smiles sadly. “You can eat here, sweetheart.”

Alex shrugs and takes what she’s grown to know it’s her milkshake from the desk. “’S okay.” She takes a sip from her straw. She waves. “Bye.”

The girl is about to leave, when Lena calls, “Alex!”

Alex turns, the question evident in her eyes.

“I really don’t want to eat on my own. Would you join me?”

Alex frowns. “But, you just-”

Lena smiles wryly. “Let’s be real, Alex. No one wants to eat with an old lady like me. I didn’t want your pity.”

Alex scrunches up her nose again, but sits down. “You’re not old.”

Lena snorts. “I am. Ask any of your classmates.”

Alex rolls her eyes. “You are not old. I know old. You are not.” Alex takes out her panini and take a huge bite. She chews and swallows before continuing. “Kara always says that too. But you guys are not old.”

Lena, following the girl’s lead, takes her own bite and hums happily at the taste. “We are,” she says after swallowing. “We are old.” She smirks. “In fact, I believe your sister is older. _I_ am the one who doesn’t know how to cook to save my life.”

Alex snorts a laugh at that, readying to counter her comment, and Lena’s heart suddenly feels lighter.

XxXxX

“Miss L?”

Lena looks from the latest PA demand to see Alex hovering at the door. Again.

She looks to the clock. School’s been out for half an hour now.

“Alex.” Lena smiles. “What do I own the pleasure? Shouldn’t you be home?”

Alex smiles sheepishly. She waves her phone. “My ride is late… can I wait here? The art classroom is closed.”

Lena nods to the chair before her. “You are always welcome, Alex.”

Alex nods gratefully, sitting on the offered chair and taking a book from her backpack. “I know you’re busy, so I’ll just read,” the girl says quietly.

Lena hums. “That’s alright. I’ve missed your rants.” But even so, she turns to her ill written letters.

They work in silence for a while, until a thought pops in Lena’s head.

“Alex?”

“Mmm?”

“Don’t you live close from here?”

“Ye.”

Lena pauses in her reading, looking up at the girl. Alex has curled up in the chair, legs up and book propped against them, as she reads quietly. In this position and her relaxed face, thumb playing with her lower lip… she looks way younger than her sixteen years.

“Then why don’t you walk home?” Lena asks, truly perplexed. Most of the kids in the school do just that, exiting the building like a sprayed anthill and sprawling over the street in every direction.

Alex blushes faintly. “I don’t like going home alone,” she admits in a mumble.

Lena nods. That’s a fairly good answer. “And your sister isn’t picking you up today?”

From her window, Lena can see the front of the school and she’s seen the blonde show up daily for the girl before her. She thinks it’s cute.

And she can admit she likes ogling the older sister from time to time, even is she’s already taken.

Alex shakes her head, rubbing on her eye. “No. She went downtown today, so she’ll be home late.”

“And her husband’s picking you up?” Lena asks. It’s rare they actually have a conversation like this, about Alex’s home life, so Lena is going to take advantage of it as much as she can.

Alex looks at her with a confused frown. “Husband?”

In Lena’s heart is born a flicker of hope. “James, I believe his names is?”

Alex’s disgusted face is proof of how that’s not accurate. “Oh, hell no. They are not married.”

Lena’s little flicker transforms into a little flame. “So, he’s the boyfriend?”

Alex’s disgusted face is accompanied by a pink tongue popping out her mouth. “No! Yuck no.”

Lena chuckles at that. “Then, would you care to tell me who is he? You are always mentioning him.”

Score! Kara might be single.

Screw that social rule that says she can’t socialize with a student’s guardian. With the kind of people she has to interact in this job and her lack of social life, Lena really wants to get to know the blonde better.

“James’ Kara’s friend. But I know he likes her. But he is gay. So, it’s complicated.” Alex explains with a little frown.

Lena hums. Curious and curiouser. “I bet he is close to you too, with how often you mention him.”

Alex shrugs. “He’s okay. He’s funny, but he makes me get in trouble.”

“Oh? How so?”

Alex shrugs again, but this time doesn’t elaborate.

A knock on the door’s frame makes them both look at it.

Kara is looking at them with a small smile. “Hey,” she greets, looking at Lena. She turns to Alex. “I’ve called like five times, Lexie,” she scolds gently.

Alex smiles sheepishly. “It’s on silent. Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I knew you’d be here.” Kara shakes her head and looks at Lena again. “Thanks for keeping this one company.” She lowers her voice, slightly. “Between you and me? When she’s on her own she tends to get in trouble.”

“Hey!” Alex protests. “That’s not true!”

“Oh? Remind me who almost burnt down the kitchen yesterday trying to make the pasta?”

“You were supposed to put a timer!”

“But did you tell me when the water started boiling? No. You didn’t.”

Alex pouts at that and Lena chuckles at their little banter.

Both sisters turn to her and Alex blushes while Kara just smirks. “Hello, Lena,” Kara says easily.

Lena just shakes her head. “Hello, Kara. Thank you for lunch. It always tastes amazing.” Kara blushes then. Figures a little compliment would do that. “Your little notes are also fabulous. They make my day.”

The blonde waves her off. “It’s all this one’s idea,” she downplays it.

Lena smiles. “Even so. Thank you. Both of you.”

Kara nods. “Any time.” She turns to Alex. “Ready to go?”

Alex nods back and stands. “Where’s Nia?”

“She got held up at school, _minnoş_. But she’ll join us at home.”

“Cool.” Alex turns to Lena. “See ya tomorrow, Miss L.”

Lena forces out a pleasant smile.

So, there was no husband, but there might be a wife. Or at least just a girlfriend.

“See you tomorrow, Alex.” She nods to Kara. “Good day, Kara.”

“See ya around, Lena.”

She watches them leave and she pursed her lips.

She’ll have to investigate more on Kara’s relationship status.

Oh, well, she’ll try tomorrow once Alex comes deliver her lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Lena is on the hunt.
> 
> And Alex really likes Lena and now Kara feeds them both.
> 
> I'm sleepy and tired so I might not edited well, lemme know if you find something wrong, yea?


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my beautiful muffins!!!
> 
> (I follow a YouTuber that says that and damn, I heard his voice while writing it.)
> 
> Headsup, people, there are mentions of abuse within the chapter. There's nothing graphic and there's just hinting of it... several times all over the chapter.
> 
> You've been warned.

“Thank you for dinner.”

Kara smiles. With one had she’s holding a glass of wine and with the other she’s gently playing with the hair splayed on her lap.

“You know you are always welcome. We owe you much.”

Nia fakes a gasp at that. “You mean I’m only welcome as long as I provide?”

Kara would’ve sent a pillow flying to Nia if Alex wasn’t using her lap as a pillow. “It’s not like that, asshole.”

Nia snorts into her own wine. “I know, love. I just like messing with you.”

Kara huffs, prompting Alex to turn around, burring her nose on her stomach and poking Kara with her hand.

Kara looks down and smiles at Alex’s sleeping form. Once again her thumb found its way into her mouth and there’s a barely visible dollop of saliva in the corner of her mouth. With her hair down and recently washed, no trace of eyeliner and her relaxed face, she really looks like the little girl she is.

She was allowed to have her bath, jump into her pajamas and join the adults for a nightcap. But of course, having slipped into her toddler mindset, Alex just lasted ten minutes past her bedtime.

“She kept calling you _anne_ all through dinner,” Nia comments softly, eyeing the pair.

Kara smile widens. “Yes. She’s been doing it a lot latetly.”

Nia perks up. “Really? I’m assuming you like it?”

“I do. It makes my heart soar. It’s amazing and damn, Nia, is like I’m finally complete.”

Nia hums. She shifts in the beanbag she commandeered from the studio, trying not to slosh her wine all over the place. “I didn’t think Alex have it in her. But I forgot Alex is a smart cookie. She embraced the lifestyle easily.”

Kara hums back, combing Alex’s bangs from her face. It’s been too long since Alex’s had a haircut… maybe it’s time to address that soon. At least her ends are not split. “She’s also panicky and stubborn.”

Nia waves her off. “Nah. You’ve had the girl in pull-ups within the month.”

“And she had a massive meltdown.”

“And she’s always had those,” Nia points out. “I do think she’s been dealing with regression her whole life.”

Kara snorts, making the sleeping kid whine lowly. “Shhh, _minnoş,_ ” she comforts quietly. Alex responds by burrowing deeper against her stomach. “Just because she’s always thrown tantrums, it doesn’t mean she’s been regressing.”

Nia clucks her tongue. “Me don’t think so. Look. She’s always been moody when sleepy.”

“Who isn’t?”

“She also acts without thinking all the time.”

“So does James and we are not going all Freud on him.”

“She’s always asking for your attention.”

“She’s my sister. Of course she is.”

“And now that you’ve given it to her, she no longer gets in trouble.”

“She doesn’t want to go to jail.”

“She used to get in trouble with kids her age, but now she’s content with only you around.”

“Now you’re making our relationship sound toxic.”

Nia rolls her eyes. “What I mean is, Alex has found a place of peace with you and as such, she no longer lashes out like the little girl she is at heart.”

Kara frowns. “You make no sense.”

“Look. I don’t know everything that you two went through together, I wasn’t there, but I do know that Alex has always being stoic and reserved and trying to act all tough and scary. The first time I meet her she was, what? Ten?”

“Twelve.”

“Twelve, then. She was twelve and she was acting like an adult. The way she talked around us and how she conducted herself, screamed ‘adult’ to me. Sure, she was like a misguided adult, but an adult nonetheless. She got drunk with us Kara, remember?”

“She was thirteen then.”

“And that makes it better? Kara. A thirteen years old has no business drinking. And that one time she got almost blind drunk around us? You know was not her first time. Hell, it wasn’t even her tenth. That was Alex around us. All bravado and easy charm. But then, when she was near you, she transformed into the little kid she was. She was whiny and demanding and easily mollified. Kara… she’s always been acting young for you… And yeah. I think her stealing and doing all her crazy stuff was just a way for her to demand your attention.”

“… several people get drunk young.”

Nia shakes her head exasperated. “You should take her with a specialist.”

“We’ve talked about this. No.”

Nia shakes her head. “I’ve been telling you for years. She needs a therapist.”

“You know we don’t do doctors.”

Nia wiggles her eyebrows suggestively.

“You are disgusting.”

“You didn’t say that when I had my tongue do-”

“Don’t.” Kara grimaces. “Just don’t.”

Nia just snorts. “I’m the best sex you’ve ever had, and you know it.”

Kara sighs but doesn’t dignify that with an answer.

“Take Alex to a psychologist.”

Kara looks to the sleeping girl. Not only Alex has a fear of doctors, Kara too has an aversion to hospitals.

What Nia is asking is not happening.

“We’ll wait and see if that’s necessary,” Kara murmurs, if only to mollify Nia.

She has no intention of doing it.

Nia shakes her head and downs her wine in one go. She stands. “I so hate that about you.”

Kara frowns. “What are you on about now?”

Nia motions to Kara with one hand, her whole demeanor screaming defeated. “That.”

“… you just gestured to all of me.”

“Yeah. I hate it that you never, never, never do anything when things have to get done!” Nia hisses. “You just go with the flow and wait and wait and wait!”

Kara rubs at her face. This is exactly why they broke up.

Nia could never understand why she won’t do things right away… why Kara rather wait and see how things develop on their own.

And Nia always needs to act, to put elbow grease into whatever the problem is.

They were never compatible for a long term relationship.

They make amazing friends, but they can’t be anything more.

“You never take the initiative on anything!”

“Nia…”

Nia points at the sleeping girl. “She needs therapy, and it doesn’t have anything to do with her regression. She needs therapy because her life’s been a rollercoaster of issues and she needs to heal. If anything, she needs to deal with her almost being raped! She still has issues over that!”

Kara feels her temper rise. “She’s not broken!” she spats.

“Don’t put words in my mouth.” Nia shakes her head. “We were together for two years and I saw things she needs to work through.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“ _You_ don’t know what you’re talking about. Alex is chatty when drunk, Kara, and I picked her up several times. You know that. She needs help. And so do you, for that matter. You never worked through your family’s dea-.”

“Thank you for everything, but I think it’s time you leave.”

Nia exhales sharply. “Fine. Whatever. Call me if you need me.”

Kara watches Nia leave, closing the door with a soft click.

“ _Anne_?”

Kara sighs deeply. “ _Minnoş?”_

“Why Nia mad?” Alex mumbles sleepily.

“She’s angry at me, love. You don’t need to worry.” Kara replies, combing the hair off Alex’s eyes.

Alex nods, sitting up in order to hug Kara by the neck. “… hafta go doctor?” she mumbles against her ear.

Kara hugs her tight. “I don’t know love. I don’t know.”

XxXxX

Lena watches amused at the face she’s been given.

“I do need someone to do this job… and frankly, I don’t think most of your grade knows how to read.”

“But… Miss L…” Alex looks around. “People don’t like me already.”

Lena’s eyebrow rises. “You are always hiding in here, so I’m not surprised. I bet most students think you like to torture people like I do.”

Alex glares at her just like a wounded puppy. “That’s mean.”

Lena smiles. “Well, ask any student. They’ll tell you I’m the devil reincarnated.”

Alex frowns. “Why do they say that? You are nice.”

“And comments like that is why you repel students.”

Alex huffs, crossing her arms. “Fine. I’ll read the announcements from now on.”

Lena frowns. “Thank you. Now. Please tell me why you you’ve been so off lately.”

Alex looks down and plays with the lid of her milkshake. Lunch is long gone and, just like every day, Alex has eaten it with her. But, unlike every day, Alex’s bubbly self is missing.

It’s been missing for a couple of days now.

“It’s not important.”

“It’s important to me. The Alex I’ve come to know wouldn’t have said yes this easily to be the new voice of DEO high.”

Alex shrugs. “I’m okay.”

“Hey.” Lena rounds her desk and sits on the chair next Alex’s. She places her hand over the girl’s. “Talk to me.”

Alex looks to the pale fingers interlacing with her own. “… Kara and Nia fought over the weekend,” she murmurs as she squeezes the fingers.

Lena nods. So, this is a ‘parents’ fight’ kind of situation. She brushed Alex’s bangs from her eyes. “Hey, whatever that was for, I’m sure it’s not your fault.”

Alex shakes her heads. “It was.”

Lena peeks down, trying to find Alex’s eyes. “Can you elaborate, sweetie?”

Alex shakes her head.

“Please, Lexie,” Lena murmurs, consciously switching to the name she’s heard Kara use on the girl before. “Let me help.” She rubs the back of the girl’s hand with her thumb.

Alex’s eyes glaze over for a second, before blinking twice, slowly.

“Nia’s mad… she said I need therapy,” Alex mumbles.

Lena nods in understanding. “And Kara doesn’t think that?”

Alex shakes her head again. “ _Annem_ say we don’t need it.”

Lena blinks confused at that. “ _Annem?_ ”

Alex’s brow furrows for a second, looking at Lena confused. “… Kara,” she mumbles.

Lena squeezes Alex’s hand. “Kara is _annem,_ ” she says for clarification.

“Ye. _Annem._ ”

Lena nods again. She has no idea what that means, but she at least knows who Alex is referring to. “So, they argued over that?”

Alex nods. “Nia left angry. _Annem_ ’s sad.”

Lena smiles softly. “Listen, Alex. Kara being sad for her partner is not your fault. Even if the argument was centered on you, they were the ones fighting.”

Alex’s does her little nose scrunch. “They no dating.”

Lena blinks confused.

First, Alex and Kara worded everything to make her believe Kara was dating James. Then, Alex did so Lena believed Kara was involved with this Nia woman.

But now, now Kara is indeed single?

“ _Annem’s_ not dating anyone,” Alex says simply. “But she doesn’t like fighting.”

The tiny Lena that lives in her brain and deals with her emotions does a little dance at the girl’s words.

“I don’t think anyone likes fighting,” responsible, focused, worried, Lena replies.

Alex shrugs. “I know people who does.” The girl’s thumb traces along her lower lip. “But not _annem._ ”

“Okay,” Lena murmurs. She can feel a shift on Alex, but she can’t point a finger on what has changed. She also doesn’t know how to answer to the girl’s first statement. “So, Nia thinks you need therapy and Kara doesn’t… what do you think?” Lena chooses to ask.

Alex shrugs again. “ _Annem_ knows best,” she says softly. “And ‘m not crazy.”

“Therapy is not only for crazy people. In fact, I did therapy at your age.”

“Really?”

“Really. It helped me talk about what I couldn’t with my family. It was freeing.”

“I talk with a _nnem_ ,” Alex mumbles. “We don’t keep secrets.”

That last part sounded a little too rehearsed to Lena.

“But sometimes, we need people to help us through our problems. That’s why therapy is good for anyone. Do you know why Nia thinks you need therapy?”

Alex shrugs. “Ma past.”

That same tiny Lena in her brain that was dancing moments ago is now suddenly frozen with dread.

“What about your past, love?”

Alex shakes her head. “No important.”

“… Alex… did someone hurt you…?” Lena asks in a small voice, dreading the answer.

There’s a moment of hesitation, before Alex shakes her head with force.

That answer does nothing to mollify Lena’s worries.

“You can tell me, Lexie,” she says softly. “Did someone hurt you?”

“No,” the girls’ voice tell her that she’s lying, but that pressing would lead her nowhere.

Lena sighs, her heart constricting with fear and concern. “If you can’t tell me, then maybe therapy is the way to go, sweetie.”

Alex shakes her head.

“Why not?”

“ _Annem_ says not yet.”

Lena frowns slightly. “And you? What do you say? Would you want therapy now? Or wait like Kara says?”

The girl shrugs again. “’M no good at choosing. _Annem’s_ good.”

Lena’s frown deepens at that.

That tiny Lena in her brain is shooting alarm flares in her brain.

“… Kara doesn’t have to know, if you think you want therapy,” Lena says cautiously.

Alex’s eyes widen at that. “No!”

The tiny Lena in her brain is now shouting at her with how wrong this is.

“Why not?”

“’Cause I don’t keep secrets from _annem,_ ” Alex says earnestly and as if that was the most logical thing in the world. “’M don’t lie to her.”

Lena takes both of Alex’s hands in hers. “Alex,” she says in a serious voice, the one she uses at meetings and when dealing with parents. “What happens when you lie to Kara?”

The girl’s head tilts to the side, she frowns lightly. “I don’t lie.”

“But, if you were to lie. What would Kara do?”

Please, please, please don’t be what Lena thinks it is.

Kara doesn’t fit the type.

But, then again, most abusers don’t.

The girl bites on her lip, thinking. “Corner,” she decides after a moment of thought. “Early bedtime.”

Lena blinks.

… wait, what?

Some of her worry deflates, but only to be replace with confusion.

“Sweetie,” she prods cautiously. “Does Kara punish you often?”

Alex blushes prettily. She looks away but at a soft squeeze form Lena’s hands she answers in a murmur, “… no.”

Her worry goes down another two levels. The confusion goes up six. “And what does she do? How does she punish you?”

Alex’s blush deepens. “Timeout,” she mumbles. “Corner.”

That’s not what she was expecting to hear.

At all.

“And what do you do to go into time out?”

Alex wiggles in her seat. “Me no listen,” she says quietly. “Me talk back. Throw fit.”

Lena’s breathing calms down, just a little bit. It looks like she was making mountains out of molehills.

But still.

“And, have she ever punished you differently?”

Alex nods.

“What did she do?”

Alex’s face could now rival a tomato. “’panking.”

Lena surely misheard… Alex did not say… “Spanking?”

Alex’s face goes hotter, if that’s even possible.

“… And what did you do to warrant a spanking?”

Alex’s little wiggling comes back. Her response is so soft, she would’ve missed it if she wasn’t so close to her. “Got arrested.”

Okay… if she were Alex’s guardian, she’s pretty sure she too would’ve tanned her behind for that too.

She’s curious to know how that came to happen, but she doesn’t want to derail from Alex finally opening up.

“Does Kara hits you often?”

Alex frowns. “ _Annem_ doesn’t hit me. She just spank. They different.”

Lena is smart, yes. She also has that psychology minor. That’s the reason she’s managed to interrogate Alex so successfully… but, right now, she’s confused.

“Explain to me the difference?”

Alex’s eyes are earnest and her whole demeanor open, so Lena knows this girl is being honest when she speaks. “Hitting just for hitting isn’t born out of love. It’s wrong. Spanking is so I realize I did something wrong, to remember not do it again.”

Lena nods. That’s a really easy explanation and it lets her know that inside Alex’s smart head, there’s actual thought behind the reasoning and not mindless repetition like she was fearing at first.

“So, Kara doesn’t hit you.”

“No.”

“But she spanks you.”

The blush is back on Alex’s cheeks. “Ye.”

“Does she do it often?”

“No.” Alex shakes her head. “Only when I forget.”

“… forget?”

“Forget I’m good and do naughty things.”

“Naughty things like…?”

“Stealing. Shoplifting. Vandalism. Trespassing.”

… Lena really didn’t expect that.

Sweet Alex, smart Alex, opinionated Alex, doing any of that?

Lena knows she didn’t go through all of Alex’s records… she just read into them enough to notice they were incomplete and she forgot all about it with the start of term mountain of work.

Now she’s starting to regret not going back to read them.

“What about your parents?” she asks then. “What do they think?”

“ _Annem_ takes care of me.”

That’s not what Lena asked.

“I mean, your parents. The ones that are Kara’s and yours.”

Alex’s nose scrunches up and Lena braces for the worst. “ _Annem’s_ parents died when she was ten.”

… okay.

This is spiraling out her comfort zone so badly.

It never occurred to her these two were not blood related.

“And yours? The ones that birthed you?”

Alex shrugs, but her expression doesn’t seem as disturbed as when they were discussing Kara’s parents. “Don’t know them.”

Lena really, really needed to read that file. It would have saved her so much heartache and headache right now.

“Oh? Does Kara know?

Alex shrugs. “Dunno.”

“How so, sweetie?”

“Lefted a letter when they go. Didn’t read it. _Annem_ has it.”

“When was this love? When did they leave?”

“Me baby. _Annem_ remembers.”

Lena huffs softy. Okay. No matter what she thought at the beginning on this chat, its obvious Lena needs to speak with Kara regarding Alex.

“And what’s the first thing you remember?”

“ _Annem._ ”

Lena nods. Yes. It is indeed obvious she needs to talk to Kara about Alex. Everything she’s heard today makes her think that something’s not quite right and that this Nia person is right.

Alex could benefit from professional help. Maybe she doesn’t necessarily need it, but she could totally use someone certified to talk to.

No matter how she sees it, Alex’s world revolves around Kara and only Kara and no matter how much she thinks they love each other, that’s not healthy for the girl.

She needs to call Ka-Miss Zorel and figure out what’s really going on.

She won’t deny Alex is the one favorite student she’s ever had and she’ll be damned if something wrong is happening in her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of feedback to last chapter and wow, I'm blown. Thank you so much guys!!!
> 
> I'm still fishing for ideas and so I'm always open for suggestions and input. I love ya'll guys!!!
> 
> Also.
> 
> Monday through Thursday are really hard days (school) and so, see you on Tuesday with the follow up for this one (:
> 
> Don't hate the author for the slight cliffhanger


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovely fellas. 
> 
> How are y'all?
> 
> I hope you enjoy :)

“You know… I was planning on asking you for coffee and a walk around the park.”

Lena smiles tightly at the blonde sitting in front of her. “But I beat you to it?”

Kara nods solemnly. “Yeah. I was also not planning on threatening you with calling social services.”

Lena has the decency to wince at that. “I got the feeling that was the only way to make you come promptly.”

Kara’s glare threatens to combust Lena in the spot. “You could’ve just say, ‘Hey Kara, I need to talk about Alex. Drop by tomorrow.’”

Lena’s brow furrow.

She knows she threw Kara a low bow, bringing social services up, but… “It’s a delicate matter, Miss Zorel, I needed you take this seriously.”

Kara’s eyes narrow. “I see we are back to last name basis. Fine. Miss Luthor, when it comes to Alex, I always take it seriously.”

Lena reclines back on her chair, glaring at the blonde. “I find it hard to believe, Miss Zorel… Alex informed me there was a debate on whether she needs therapy or not.”

Usually, Lena would go around in circles trying to find a weak spot in which to attack difficult parents… and students… but she thinks Alex deserves better.

And the sooner they address this, the sooner Alex can be helped and the sooner the girl can go back to her cheery self.

Kara deflates before her eyes. The blonde rubs on her face, groaning softly. “Of course this is about therapy.”

Lena’s glare intensifies. “Care to help me understand why Alex is suddenly so depressed? Why, when I asked if she wanted therapy she said, and I quote: ‘ _Annem_ knows best, I don’t choose’? From where I’m standing, Miss Zorel, the way she speaks, the way she acts towards you scream abuse and I won’t let that stand.”

If Kara was deflated before, she’s now lost all air left in her. “Lena…” Kara buries her face in her hands. “… please… I’d never hurt her… I could never…”

Lena’s heart squeezes at the sight.

Kara looks devastated.

But, still, she knows that there are good actors all around.

“I don’t know that,” Lena says quietly.

Kara looks up, tears swimming in her eyes. “She’s my world. I’d never abuse her.”

Lena nods slowly. “I’m going to be honest… I asked you here, because, with what little I know of you, I don’t think you’d be capable of it… if it were any other, I wouldn’t hesitate on calling the cops on you.”

Kara laughs wetly. “Thanks, I guess.”

Lena regards the blonde sadly. “… help me understand? I really, really don’t want to believe Alex is in any danger.”

Kara dries her eyes with the back of her hand. “What did she say?” she asks quietly.

Lena’s head tilt to the side. “Something about a Nia and you fighting. Over her needing therapy. How sad you’ve been.”

Kara rubs her face again. “Nia’s always said Alex needs therapy. That we both do. It’s an old argument. Alex shouldn’t focus on it. She shouldn’t even know about us arguing in the first place.”

Lena hums. “Alex made it sound like it was more important than that.”

Kara sighs deeply. “How much have Alex told you about her past?”

“She’s a foster kid. Her parents gave her up when she was a baby…” Lena looks Kara deep in her eyes. “Your parents died when you were ten.”

Kara’s lips twitch in a grimace. “Yeah. That’s pretty much it.”

“… why don’t I believe you?”

Kara glares, suddenly too tense. “Do you want our whole life story? Should I find witnesses? Take you to our foster home? Introduce you to our foster parents?”

Lena doesn’t flinch at the sudden attack. “That’d be appreciated.”

Kara’s glare intensifies.

“Kara…” Lena sighs. “I want to believe that my first impression of you is right. That you wouldn’t kill a fly.”

“Flies are disgusting.”

“Please, Kara. Stop deflecting.”

Kara leans her head back, staring at the ceiling. When she speaks, her voice is distant and flat. “What she says is true. That’s the gist of us. We grew up together. I was eleven when she come live with us. Us as in, foster home. We were close since she arrived. Living there… was not the best, but we had a place to sleep and no matter how awful things got, no kid was ever sent back. It was safe that way.

“When I was eighteen… I was kicked out. Alex didn’t take it well. That’s the first issue Nia always bring up…”

Lena frowns a little, but lets Kara continue unprompted.

“I tried to be around often, even when we weren’t living together anymore. Alex started getting wilder, more… erratic. That’s something Nia also thinks needs counseling. And of course, then it was the drinking and partying, yet another issue that needs professional analyzing.

“In January, when Alex turned sixteen, we finally moved in together again. It was awkward at first, we were not used to be around each other as much, but we managed… even when Alex was still her difficult self. Has Alex told you about her rap sheet?”

“… she mentioned she got arrested once.”

Kara snorts flatly. “Try fourteen times. That’s another issue Nia likes to bring up.”

Lena blinks, slowly. She didn’t expect that.

“She got arrested for the first time when she was twelve. Shoplifting. She’s a foster kid, so of course they booked her right away. But, Alex’s always been a charming kid. She sweettalked to the judge and with her attorney’s help, she got off with all charges dropped. Rinse and repeat ten more times. Damn kid’s lucky. She always got the same judge and she always got community service. Until judge Callahan retired. In comes judge Grant and she sees that Alex has no intention to change her habits.

“Fast forward into the beginning of last summer. Alex gets arrested for the last time. She’s facing juvie for the time she’s left before she turns eighteen. We managed to make a deal, Alex won’t get arrested ever again or, she’ll go straight to jail for at least ten years.”

Lena gasps at that.

“Yeah.” Kara’s eyes turn to Lena and Lena sees they hold a fierceness behind them that she had never seen before. “I took matter in my own hands, Lena. I’ll die before I let Alex be taken. Either to jail or to social services. I know our relationship is intense. I know we are codependent. I know Alex behaves strange sometimes. I _know_ , Lena, I know all of that. But I also know how to calm Alex when she’s having a panic attack. I know how she likes the water in her bath. I know what she prefers to eat when she is sick. I know what makes her happy, what makes her anxious, what makes her sad, what makes her angry. _I_ take care of her. I’ve always taken care of her. And that’s not gonna change.”

Lena contemplates Kara’s whole demeanor. This is a woman with a purpose.

A woman planning on fighting the whole word in order to see that purpose done.

“She called you anen,” she says softly. “What does that mean?”

Kara’s smile is small and sad. “ _Annem,_ with a double ‘n’ and final ‘m’… means mom. She sometimes calls me mom.”

Lena’s eyes widen… that… that is… actually really sweet.

There’s a knock on the closed door that makes Kara jump and Lena school her features in an instant. Both women share a silent look before Lena calls, “Come in.”

“Good day,” a young man pokes his head in. “Delivery for one Lena Luthor.”

Lena smiles. “Hi, Jeremy. Did you add that latte to my usual?”

The boy comes in the room, nodding briefly to Kara, and he places a cardboard tray with three large cups on the desk. “Of course, ma’am. Ma got your text and sent me well prepared.” Just as he came in, the boy retreats. “See you tomorrow!”

“Send my hellos to your mom.”

“Sure thing!”

Kara watches the whole exchange silently, with a small frown. She easily recognized the logo on the cups, and she knows she’s seen that boy before… presumably, at the café he works at.

“I didn’t peg you for a Noona’s fan,” Kara comments lightly.

“Who isn’t? Is the best café this part of the city.” Lena smiles, passing Kara one of the cups.

Kara nods, accepting the cup. “Thank you.” She takes a cautious sip. Her eyes widen.

“Alex might have mentioned your favorite is chai latte with coconut milk.”

Kara shakes her head. “No one remembers the coconut bit.”

“Alex does.” Lena’s smile turns slightly sad. “With what you’ve told me… I do believe she needs therapy, Kara.”

Kara shakes her head. “No.”

Lena sighs. Why does she always feel attracted the stubborn ones? “Why not?”

Kara takes another sip, and Lena copies her with her own black coffee.

“Therapy sucks,” Kara mumbles against the lip of her cup. “It does nothing but bring back pain and memories better left alone.”

Lena hums. “You went to therapy.”

Kara nods. She points to herself. “Parents and sister died in a horrible accident. Of course only survivor needs professional help.”

Oh. “… Kara…”

Kara smiles thinly. “I really don’t want her to go through that.”

“Have you asked her? What she wants?” Lena prods gently. “Maybe she’d consider it?”

Kara’s smile disappears. “I haven’t.”

“Why not?”

Kara closes her eyes, shaking her head.

There’s yet another knock at the door, preventing Lena to keep grilling Kara.

However, this time, the person behind the knocking doesn’t wait for permission to enter. “Hey, Miss-” Alex comes barreling into the office, just to be halted by Kara’s presence. “Kay?”

Kara smiles wide, yet it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Hey, _minnoş_.”

“What are you doing here?” Alex’s gaze shift from Kara to Lena. Her eyes widen a moment later. She whimpers lowly. “I didn’t mean to.”

Lena watches the shift in both Kara and Alex immediately.

As the young girl curls into herself, angling to Kara, Kara shots to her feet, her whole body suddenly soft and caring. There are tears in the girl’s eyes as she looks to Lena fearfully and Kara soon is hugging her so her body is between Alex and Lena.

Alex’s arms come up to hug Kara’s middle, promptly dropping the bag with their lunches to the floor. Kara sways them in place, pressing her lips to Alex’s temple.

“Shh, minosh,” Lena hears Kara whisper. “Everything’s fine. You did nothing wrong.”

“B-But-”

“Hey.” Kara forces Alex to look her in the eye. “You told Lena what you were feeling. It’s not often you open up. I’m glad you did.”

Alex buries her face against Kara’s chest. Lena can hear she mumbles something, but its too faint to hear.

“I’m not angry, baby.” Kara rubs along Alex’s back. “I’m happy you talked with someone.”

“’M still sorry” Alex murmurs just a bit louder.

“Hey, Lexie,” Kara coos. Alex looks up and Lena can just barely see how Alex’s eyes are calmer… more open. “I’m proud of you.”

Alex smiles at that, looking up beaming. “Really?”

Kara nods, pressing a kiss between the girl’s brows. “Really.”

Alex nods back, again pressing her face to Kara’s chest.

Lena watches it all with open, curious eyes.

She believes that, what she’s witnessing, does not scream abuse at all.

It just screams of a little girl in need of so much love.

“I think we’ve ignored Lena for too long, baby,” Kara murmurs after a minute.

Alex shifts in Kara’s arms just enough to see Lena from within. Her face flushes when Lena waves at her.

“You’re here to eat, lunch, yeah?” Kara continues. “I bet Lena’s hungry, love.”

Alex looks down, and her eyes widen comically and scrambles to pick the fallen bag. She places it in the desk, smiling sheepishly. “Today’s sandwiches and carrot sticks,” she announces.

Lena smiles, gratefully taking her share of the goodies. “I bet it’ll be amazing.” She looks at Kara. “Like always.”

It’s Kara’s turn to blush as she looks away.

Alex giggles at that and Lena can’t but smile wide.

Her heart feels lighter at knowing her first assumptions were right.

These two are close.

Alex will be okay.

“I’ll leave you to it, then,” Kara says softly.

“No! _Anne,_ stay!”

Kara looks at Lena, an eyebrow raised.

“Please do stay. At least until you are done with your tea,” she adds with a nod to the abandoned cup.

At the mention of the beverage, Alex hums happily and takes the last cup on the tray, eagerly sipping through the straw.

Kara’s eyebrows rise as she takes a seat.

“I’ve come to know your girl likes Noona’s strawberry milkshake.”

Kara laughs at Lena’s word. Of course it was a Noona’s strawberry milkshake.

Alex plops on Kara’s lap, pressing her straw against Kara’s lips. “Wanna?”

Kara takes a small sip, smacking her lips. “Yummy.”

Alex nods and unwraps her lunch. She takes a bite of her sandwich before pressing it to Kara’s lips too.

Kara, unprompted, takes a small bite.

Lena watches with a small smile, taking bites of her own sandwich and carrots.

They made small talk, with Alex feeding Kara every few bites and with Kara taking just enough to make sure Alex is satisfied, and soon enough, they are down to just their drinks.

“Thank you for lunch, Kara. It was delicious.”

“Yeah, _anne,_ thanks.”

“You two are welcome. And thank you for the tea.”

“Yes, Miss L, thanks.”

Lena smiles softly. “I do think classes will start soon, though, Alex. You better get going.”

The girl jumps to her feet. After chatting with Lena yesterday, Alex missed two of her classes and she doesn’t want a repeat of that.

She gave the girl a note to take with her, but the missed hours are not easily replaced.

“See ya around, Miss L,” Alex says happily.

“Bye, Alex.”

The girl turns to Kara before leaving, pecking her lips in goodbye and waving. “Pick me up,” she demands as she leaves.

Kara snorts. “Of course, your highness.”

Both women watch the teen leave and, once the door is closed, Kara turns to Lena. “Please,” she says earnestly. “Don’t call social services. I can’t lose her.”

Lena is floored. She’d forgotten for a moment why Kara is even in her office.

Still, she nods.

“I do think therapy will do her good, Kara,” she says earnestly. “But, we’ll go at her own pace. We won’t force her, but we’ll leave that door open for her. She needs that option, love.”

Kara deflates but nods. “I’ll talk to her.” She raises to leave too. She smiles, just barely. “You beat me for coffee… but, maybe we could try doing it the proper way? Let us invite to for dinner one day, please.”

Lena’s eyebrows shot up. “What? Why?”

Kara’s smile widens. “I think I like you,” she offers. “And I know I’d like to know you better. Please, say yes, if only once. It feels you know a lot about me and I know nothing of you. I’d love to change that.”

Lena inhales sharply at the meaning behind the words. “It’s frowned upon to socialize with the kids’ parents.”

Kara’s eyes narrow as a slow smile spread across her face. “You are not one for social conventions, Lena.”

“And how do you know that, Miss Zorel.”

Kara’s wide smile might lack shine, but its honest. “Because you never intended on calling social services… and you care for my Alex to a degree not demanded of your station.”

“Uh?”

“Thank you. For looking out for her. She needs more people in her corner.”

“It’s my pleasure.”

“Then allow us to have you for dinner one day. She’ll be happy. And I’ll be too.” The blonde rummages on her purse for a moment, before producing a small, shiny card. “Here’s my info,” she says with a smile.

Lena’s eyebrows rise. “You are a hairdresser.”

“Not my main job, but a job nonetheless.”

Lena eyes her with curiosity. “What do you do for a living?”

Kara’s smile is secretive and, damn, sexy. It’s begging for Lena to kiss it off. “Come to dinner and you’ll find out.”

Lena chuckles. “Fine. I’ll be delighted. When and where?”

“This Friday? And I’d like it better if you came over, unless you rather go to a restaurant?”

The tips of Lena’s ears redden. “Eating in sound marvelous.”

Kara smiles widens. “Amazing. I’ll make sure to do something worthy of the infamous Miss Luthor.” She makes a fake bow to her. “Text me, M’lady, and I’ll provide an address… or ask Alex. She does a fine job as errant girl.”

Lena snorts a laughter. “You are impossible.”

Kara’s eyes are serene. “Just when it makes the pretty lady laugh. See you on Friday, Lena.”

Lena beams and raises from her chair. It feels too soon for a hug, but a touch on the other woman’s shoulder does the trick. “Until Friday.”

Kara leaves after that and Lena is left with a lighter heart.

She smiles wide.

Not only her worries over Alex are somewhat mollified, she also has a date with the beautiful blonde.

Today was a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst is gone for a little while...
> 
> ... but don't you all worry. It'll be back soon enough.
> 
> Also, I feel this chapter to be a little rushed, but meh. I love the way Lena acts like a mama bear while Kara is always looking out for Alex 
> 
> Thoughts?


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are almost 30 chapters in and it's finally time for 'the talk'.

“We need to talk.”

Alex freezes. She’s currently holding onto her Perplexus, trying to solve it, so she literally freezes in order to look up to Kara from her place in the floor. “Kay?”

Kara sighs, sitting on Alex’s bean chair. “We need to talk,” she repeats.

Alex blinks, putting the Perplexus down on its base so the little ball doesn’t fall. “Trouble?” she asks.

Kara smiles sadly. “No, love. You’re not in trouble. But I have a question. And we need to talk.”

She’s spent several hours thinking on what Nia said, on what Lena did. And one thing is clear:

She needs to finally talk to Alex.

She needs to finally address what’s happening.

Kara can’t keep treating the girl like a little kid without Alex knowing it.

It’s not right and, in the long run, it might affect Alex negatively.

And, also, when Lena comes for dinner, she can’t risk her talking to Alex about all this… She doesn’t think Lena knows, no, but the stakes are too high and she can’t risk it.

So. They need to talk.

Alex crawls to Kara, intending on climbing on her lap. However, Kara pushes on her shoulders to keep her in place. “Kara?” the girl asks suddenly a little frightened.

“I need to see you, _minnoş_ ,” Kara explain. She needs to be able to gauge which Alex she’s talking to. If she chose this moment to talk, is because she believes Alex is in her oldest mindset and she needs the girl’s cooperation.

Alex nods, confused. “Okay.”

Kara takes a deep breath. “You call me _anne._ You’ve called me that many times now. You called me that around Lena.”

Alex freezes again, this time in panic. “I-I’m sorry,” she stutters. “I w-won’t do it again.”

Kara shakes her head, squeezing on Alex’s shoulders. “I’m not mad. I’m just surprised. I didn’t expect you to start calling me that.”

Alex looks down. “I… I’m still sorry. Won’t happen again.”

There’s something in Alex’s voice that Kara can’t help but label as dejected.

Her heart squeezes.

“I need to know if you meant it,” Kara says softly.

Alex shuffles in place, still looking down her lap.

“Please, love. Tell me. It’s just me. Kara.”

Alex laughs wetly. “Yeah… you’re Kara…just Kara.”

Kara exhales shakily. With a finger under her chin, she forces Alex’s head up. She pecks Alex’s wobbly lips. “It’s just me. Your KayKay. Tell me, Alex. I need to know.”

Alex sniffs and shakes her head.

“Okay, then I’ll speak first.” Kara kisses Alex on the forehead. She is pretty sure Alex wouldn’t be calling her _anne_ if she didn’t mean the sentiment behind the word, so, she takes the plunge, for the first time in her life. “When I hear that word leave your mouth, baby, I feel so happy.”

Alex tenses.

“Hearing you call me that is just…” Kara chuckles out a sob. “… amazing. It fills my heart.”

“…really?”

Kara sniffs and nods. “Yeah, _minnoş_ , really. So, I need to know if you mean it.”

Alex bites on her lip. “… I do…” She looks to the side. “… you’ve been _annem_ for a long time now,” she adds, pointing to her head.

Kara kisses her temple. “You’ve been thinking of this for a while, uh?”

Alex blushes and nods. “’M sorry.”

“Hey, no. Don’t be sorry.” Kara smiles wetly. “I’d lie if I say I haven’t thought about it too.”

Alex looks up at her, her eyes wide. “Really?”

“Yeah… which leads me to the other thing I need to discuss with you,” she adds nervously.

Alex pick her nervousness up and she frowns deeply. “What is it?”

Kara exhales slowly. “Promise me you’ll let me finish before interrupting.”

Alex nods frightened. Is Kara going to send her back?

No. Kara would never do that.

“There’s this thing called age regression,” Kara begins. “It’s more often used as a type of healing therapy and it basically involves people, well, regressing to a younger age than their biological one.”

Alex’s frown clears at that to be replaced by a tilted head and wide eyes.

“These people would regress to any point in their past. Some go back to their teens, others go further back and regress into babies. They adopt whatever attitude and mannerism they had then and the point for some of these people is to deal with some kind trauma and the like. Others would regress to feel safe and calm. There are people who uses regression as a means to relieve stress.

“There are others that like the idea of it and do it for fun… and then, there are others, who are not really regressing, but that pretend to be younger in order to roleplay a sexual fantasy.”

Alex scrunches up her nose at that, but she still keeps quiet, absorbing all the information Kara is offering her.

“It’s a really wide world, the regression one. And not two people are the same. Some can regress on command, others go into what’s called little headspace triggered by certain events or stimuli. In that little space, they become this young person they regress to and they start acting their little age.

“There’s usually a caregiver. This person, just like their name says, take care of the little – that’s the regressed one – in order to meet their needs and to make sure they are safe. Depending on the bond between caregiver and little, is the type of relationship that’s created. There could be mommies, daddies, babysitters… and then, there could be babies, toddlers, kids, teens… The point of all it is to maintain a trust bond between the two and make sure the little is safe and happy.”

Alex blinks slowly at all that, nodding her head along the explanation and looking at Kara intently.

What is Kara trying to say?

She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes once she’s sure Kara is done talking.

If Kara had come with this kind of information to her five, even three, months ago, she’d be a little concerned. What is Kara doing investigating stuff like that?

But then…

Alex is not stupid. Or at least she’s kind of clever.

She’s noticed the way she has changed over the summer. She’s seen, almost like a train-wreck, how sometimes she cannot control her own actions and reactions… just like when she was a little kid. She’s also felt the calm and safeness Kara is talking about. She trusts Kara, just like the bond she mentioned.

Hell. She’s wearing diapers at night and, after an embarrassingly wet accident, she’s wearing her pull-ups during her daily nap. It’s rare for her to wake up dry nowadays.

She hasn’t told Kara, but she’s also had a lot of close calls while she’s awake.

She just gets too into whatever she’s doing she forgets her body needs to pee, okay?

She loves coloring. She loves Fluffy. She loves her toys and making crafts and being read by Kara and her baths and her morning routine and doing as Kara says, because Kara knows best.

So. Yes. She can admit she’s a little.

And Kara’s her caregiver.

Kara’s the one cooking. She’s the one cleaning her messes. She’s the one making sure Alex doesn’t go to jail. She’s the one that punish her, hugs her, cuddles her, spoils her, calms her… makes her safe.

Kara is a mommy… the only mommy Alex’s ever known.

Kara left once. And that’s scary.

But she came back. And that makes her heart soar.

Alex’s own mother didn’t come for her. She’ll never search for Alex.

Kara’s _annesi_ didn’t come back. Dead people simply can’t.

Kara came back. She’s here right now.

And she takes care of Alex.

She loves Alex.

She _loves_ her.

Kara is her _annesi_.

“That’s us,” Alex says quietly. She opens her eyes to look into Kara’s worried ones.

Kara nods. “I believe so, love,” she says in a murmur.

Alex’s body suddenly feel light. Like, really light. Like, she could float away light.

Alex nods back. “You’re _annem_ ,” she declares just as softly. She points at herself. “’M _bebekin._ ”

Kara laughs wetly. “The word you’re looking for is _bebeğin, minnoş.”_

Alex tries the word in a whisper for a couple of times before she looks at Kara and points to herself again. “’M your _bebeğin,”_ she declares again.

Kara pulls her onto her lap, leaving kisses all over her face as she cries. “ _Evet._ You are my _bebeğim._ ”

Alex giggles at the attack. “Noooooo!” She wiggles, suddenly too happy to be still.

Kara just hugs her tight. “I love you, _bebeğim.”_

Alex cuddles to her chest. “Does that mean I can call you _anne_ all the time now?”

Kara giggles happily. “Yes, _minnoş_. If that’s what you want.”

Kara can’t believe this talk went so smoothly.

She doesn’t know if it was due her timing. Part of her doesn’t think Alex would be receptive to any of it if she’d talk to her before now.

But, god, she’s so glad she finally did.

It’ll be amazing hearing Alex call her _anne_ all the time.

“Does that also mean I hafta be little all the time now?”

“Oh no, love,” Kara kisses her temple. “You decide when to drop into headspace. You are the one in control of that. If you want to be your older self, you can be. If you want to be your younger one, then that’s fine too. I’ll see that you’re safe no matter what headspace you are in.”

Alex play with Kara’s fingers, pulling and rubbing at them. “How you’ll know when m little?”

Kara bops her nose, making her giggle. “ _Anne_ always knows, _minnoş_.” She tickles her chin, turning the giggles to soft laughter. “Right now, I think I have a little Lexie on my lap, don’t you think?”

Alex takes a moment to process what she’s feeling and what’s in her mind. She only cares of cuddling her _annem_ and being pampered right now. She also kinda needs to go pee.

She nods. “’M little,” she confirms.

“See? _Anne_ knows it all.”

Alex eyes widen at that. “You now I hafta pee right now?”

Kara’s own eyes widen and she carries Alex to the bathroom. “Okay, maybe _anne_ is still learning to know it all, love.”

Alex just giggles.

XxXxX

Kara tries, and fails, not to laugh as Alex ends up wearing her dinner. Pasta is Alex’s absolutely favorite dish, no matter what type or with which sauce it’s made, as long as it’s past and its saucy, Alex would devour it.

Or, in this case, wear it.

“ _Minnoş_ ,” she says with a chuckle. “There are these little squares called napkins. Please use them.”

Alex uses the back of her hand to wipe sauce from her chin. She grins widely.

Kara snorts. The fact there’s a tub with Alex’s name on it waiting in the bathroom is the only reason she’s not cleaning the girl herself in this moment.

“More,” Alex demands, showing her empty plate.

Kara shakes her head. “No, baby. You’ll already had doubles.”

Alex’s eyes widen and her lip jots out. “Pwease.”

Kara bops her messy nose. “You can take the rest for tomorrow’s lunch. But if you eat more tonight, you’ll get sick.”

Alex sniffs.

Kara, knowing her baby well, simply stands and starts clearing the table. “Pick up your plate, Lexie.”

Alex, like the miserable girl she is, stands reluctantly and carry her things to the sink. A tear runs down her cheek.

Kara rolls her eyes amusedly as she makes a quick work of the dishes. Alex dropped fast after their talk, so the crocodile tears were sort of expected. “Come on, _minnoş_ , it’s bath time.”

Alex pouts, sniffing. “’S early.”

“And you are sticky and tired. You’ve had a rough week. You’ll have your bath, get into your pajamas and then, if you want, you can play or color till your bedtime.”

As if to prove her point, Alex rubs her eye. “Otay.”

Kara kisses the top of her head. “Are you done with all your homework?”

“Yes, _anne._ ”

“Good girl. Then, let’s bath.”

“Join?”

Kara hums. “If you wash your face before going in the tub, yes. I don’t want to bath with a sticky girl.”

As expected, Alex sprints up the stairs, no doubt to go into the bathroom and wash her face.

Kara chuckles.

She finishes loading the dishwasher and put the leftovers away before following her girl.

The sight that greet her shouldn’t be surprising. She did, after all, sent a toddler up with instructions to wash her face. Of course, said toddler decided to make their bathroom into a small disaster. There are wet towels with tomato sauce all around and the floor is a little muddy, not to mention the small mountain of wet clothes wedged between the toilet and the sink.

And Alex… Alex decided to climb into the tub still wearing her underwear.

At least she didn’t try filling the tub yet.

Kara shakes her head. “You made a mess. Up.”

Alex pouts as she stands and is lifted out the tub. “Trouble.”

“Oh, no. It’s not your fault.” Kara runs the water and helps Alex out her underwear. “I need to remember not to send little girls into the bathroom on their own. So, new rule, for both you and me. You are not allowed in here on your own.”

Alex’s eyes widen. “What if I hafta potty?”

Kara chuckles, gathering all the soiled towels and clothes and readying them to be washed. “Okay, let me rephrase. You are not allowed here on your own at bath time. Better?”

Alex nods solemnly. “Yes, _anne_.”

Kara nods back. She stops the water when the tub is barely one quarter full and beckons the girl closer. “Come on, in you go, monster.”

Alex sits in the warm water but frowns. “Bubbles?”

Kara shakes her head. “Let’s clean you up first and then we’ll have a bubble bath, yeah?”

Alex nods. “Otay,” she murmurs as she splashes some of the water.

Kara kneels by the tub, combing the girl’s hair away from her eyes. “Can you be a big girl for me and wash your face and body while I put the dirty towels to wash?”

“Ma hair?”

“I’ll do that once I’m back.”

“Otay.”

“Try not to make a mess this time?”

Kara is about to leave, with all the towels in her arms, when Alex calls. “ _Anne!_ ”

“Yes, _minnoş_?”

“’m not ‘possed to be on ma own.”

Kara shakes her head with a smile. “I’ll allow it just this once. I’ll be back in five minutes and we’ll do your hair, got it?”

“Yes, _anne!_ ”

Kara makes quick work of the towels and soon enough, she’s back to wash Alex’s hair.

“Hey, baby,” Kara says as she lathers her scalp.

“Mmm?”

“Lena’s joining us for dinner tomorrow.”

Alex’s eyes open abruptly, making some soap go into them. She whines. “ _Anne!_ Hurts!”

“Fuck.” Kara rinses Alex’s hair quickly and pours clean water on her face.

Alex cries at the water. “ _Anne!_ ”

“I know baby, I know.”

Note to self, make sure not to surprise Alex when its hair washing time.

Alex rubs at the sting, whimpering. “ _Anneeee…”_

“I know love, I know. It’ll pass.”

Alex sniffs, nodding.

“Cry it out love, it’ll help.”

“Otay.”

Kara smiles sadly at her pitiful excuse of a kid. The shampoo is tears free, so she’s certain the sting will pass quickly.

“Miss L coming?” Alex mumbles once she feels a little better and her water was been replaced with lots of bubbles.

“Yeah,” Kara says as she takes off her top. “I invited her for dinner.”

Alex plays with the bubbles, all stinging forgotten. “Why?”

Kara smiles, sliding in behind Alex. “Scoot, monster. You’re hogging the tub.”

Alex giggles, nestling against Kara the moment she’s able to. “Miss L?”

“Coming for dinner tomorrow. So you’ll be a good girl and behave, yes?”

Alex nods, excited. “Yes, _anne_.”

“I was thinking on having our bath right after school, so you can be all clean and nice for dinner _and_ you can stay up until she leaves, what do you think?”

She straddles Kara, hugging her tight. “Yes, please! Can we have pizza? And potstickers?”

Kara Eskimo kisses the girl. “No can do, love. I promised Lena a homecooked meal.”

Alex pouts, but nods. “Otay… Do you think she’ll color with me?”

Kara’s eyes widen just little at that. She was not sure if little Alex would be comfortable around Lena… but then again, the girl had dropped around Lena at least twice…

She’s nervous for tomorrow.

She really likes Lena. And she likes that Lena likes Alex. And Alex likes Lena… so, it’d be really dope if everything goes smoothly tomorrow.

Oh, god, she wishes so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This talk was long overdue, and I'm not really happy with how it turned out.
> 
> But, oh, well...
> 
> A little Turkish refresher for us all (even I often forget which one is the correct one):
> 
> _anne_ translates as 'mom'.  
>  _annem_ translates as 'my mom'.  
>  _annen_ translates as 'your mom'.  
>  _annesi_ translates as 'her/his mom'.
> 
> I never tried to to tell you how to pronounce it, but its read an-ne. like, _an_ apple; and _ne_ st. For the rest, just add the pertinent consonant. In _annesi_ the si would be like _si_ tuation.
> 
> _bebek_ translates as 'baby'.  
>  _bebeğin_ , the ğ is almost silent and translate as 'your baby'.  
>  _bebeğim_ , the ğ is almost silent and translate as 'my baby'.
> 
> This one pronounces like be-bek, both are like _be_ st. And add the final k like you'd do with TikTok. For bebeğin, is be-be-in, first two syllables like the one above and add an _in_ just like, well, inn. Exchage that final 'n' for a 'm', and you have _bebeğim_.
> 
> (Try explaining how to pronounce a word from a language you don't know in yet another language that's not my mother tongue. I just don't want y'all to be pronouncing it like Anne, the name.)
> 
> Also, gays, I mean, guys... what's more exciting? Flying across the country to meet the girlfriend's family on purpose? or having said family fly in and meet them accidentally?
> 
> Make your opinions known in the section below!!!


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little shorter than usual, but the chapter came to a stop naturally where it did.
> 
> Hope you enjoy a glimpse on Lena's visit.

“Oh! You’re early!”

Lena smiles apologetically, presenting a bottle of white for her host of the night. “You told me to come whenever after I was done at school… and I’m not gonna lie. I’m curious.”

Kara chuckles, letting the other woman enter and taking her jacket. “There are slippers in the closet if you want them,” she adds, taking the bottle from her too.

Lena startles at that. She looks down and notices that Kara is just wearing socks. “Uh…”

Kara winces as she hangs Lena’s jacket. “Sorry, habit. You can keep your shoes on if you want to.”

Lena shakes her head, charmed by the face the other woman is giving her. “No. Your house, your rules,” she says as she slips from her heels… leaving her a good inch shorter than the other woman.

Kara is quick to provide the slippers for her guest and has to repress a little snort at Lena’s hum of appreciation. “Yeah,” she comments. “Those slippers are amazing. Alex chose them.”

Kara nods into the house, leading the other woman in towards the living room. “You can leave your purse wherever,” she says easily. “But I’m in the middle of prepping for dinner, so let’s go into the kitchen.”

Lena abandons her purse in the couch and follows Kara to the kitchen. “It smells amazing,” she hums happily.

Kara shrugs. “Hopefully it’ll taste better. Should we open the wine?”

“Yes, please.” Lena takes a seat at one of the stools she’s directed to, watching Kara work. “I’d offer to help, but I’d ruin dinner.”

Kara waves her off, passing her a glass of red before continuing chopping vegetables into thin slices. “Alex is the same. She burns boiling water.”

Lena laughs at that. She looks around. “Where’s she?”

Kara looks at the clock on the wall. “Napping.”

Lena blinks at that. “Napping?”

“Yeah. She usually takes a half hour nap after school, but because she’ll be up later than normal tonight, I’m letting her sleep a little longer.”

Lena props her chin on one of her hands, her elbow casually resting on the breakfast bar between them. “She goes to bed early?” she asks mildly.

Kara glares at her without heat. “I know you’re fishing for information on her day to day life, Lena. Stop it with the innocent questions and just ask what you want to know.”

Lena can feel no anger from the blonde… she looks… amused.

“Does she have a bedtime, then?”

“Yup,” Kara answers easily. “She’s to be in bed at nine thirty. No excuses allowed.”

Lena’s eyebrow quirks. She knows she came here to both get to know Kara better and to get a better feeling on Alex’s home life. She also knows Kara knows their chat mollified her a little, but not enough to stop her from taking matters into her own hands if it comes to Alex’s safety. “You’re still punishing her for being arrested?” she asks surprised.

Kara shakes her head. “Nah. She’s already forgiven for that. No. Since she was like eleven her sleeping habits have been awful. She used to go to bed at two or three and be up for school by five. Now the latest she falls asleep is ten and because she’s a weirdo, she’s still up at five. This way I can make sure she rests at least seven hours.”

Lena hums, taking a sip. “Isn’t teenager behavior to be up ‘til really late?”

Kara quirks an eyebrow. “Not under my roof, no.”

Lena snorts. “Fair enough. Any other routine she follows, then?”

Kara nods. She’s not about to tell Lena about the pull-ups and diaper usage, but she can share some. “After nap she does her homework and, if she has the time, she’ll record something for her YouTube channel. If not, she’ll paint some or we’ll watch a movie.”

“Her YouTube channel?”

Kara pauses all movement, looking at Lena oddly. “… yes? Didn’t she tell you? She reached three million followers last week. She wouldn’t shut up about it.”

Lena shakes her head. “She didn’t tell me… what’s it about.”

Kara smiles fondly. “She does parkour routines. She has one or two vlog videos, but those are rare. She’s done a couple of Q&A too, I think.”

Lena frowns. “And you let her do that?”

Kara blinks. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Lena stalls, sipping on her wine. “She’s underage, and being a YouTuber makes her a public figure… specially if she has that many followers. It’s just… with how you are with her, I wouldn’t think you’d let her.”

Kara hums, finally taking a sip from her own glass. “You have a point. And maybe in any other circumstance I wouldn’t let her at all. YouTube is a scary, violent place… but, well, you asked the other day what I do for a living, and I am a YouTuber, so, that’d be too hypocrite of myself.”

Lena’s mouth hangs open. “You’re a YouTuber?”

Kara chuckles. “Yeah. Started with a friend of mine, James, some years ago. Now, I’m big enough to live off it.” She shrugs. “It’s good money and I can make my own hours. Alex’s not so focused on it, but she makes enough to buy whatever she wants.”

Lena shakes her head, surprised. “I didn’t think that was a career.”

Kara chuckles again. “It is if you put enough work behind it. I don’t think I’ll live off it all my life, but I’m milking it the most while I still can.”

“Oh? And what do you want to do after that?”

Kara shrugs. “I don’t know yet. I’m thinking on putting a book or two together, about my channel, but I don’t think that’ll sell well, to be honest. I can always open my own saloon, but that’s my last resort. I still have time to figure it out.”

Lena nods. “Impressive.” And it really is. Kara here is making a life out of something most people simply don’t consider, and she’s thinking into the future too.

That’s the kind of stability Alex needs.

“What about you?” Kara asks. “You plan on being DEO high’s principal all your life?”

Lena snorts. “Oh, no. This is just practice. I want to open my own school some day.”

Kara’s eyes widen. “Now _that’s_ impressive. How do you that?”

“With connections, mostly. And money. Lots of money.”

Kara finishes with all her cutting, throwing it all in a cold wok. “And being principal of a small school can get you that?” she asks curious.

Lena shakes her head. “No. But my family has money. And connections. If I prove I can make a school work, my brother promised to foot the bill.”

Kara whistles. “Now I want to meet your brother. See if he can foot _my_ bills,” she says in jest.

Lena laughs. Chatting with Kara is easy and, for once in her life, she wasn’t shy talking about her family. The family that everybody with internet access knows of. The family that makes it into the papers every month, at least. The family that has been in more scandals that she feels comfortable with.

Her only saving grace is that the Luthor empire is located on the other side of the continent.

A small shuffling sound is heard from the foyer.

Lena turns in her seat, looking amused as a half-asleep Alex comes dragging her feet into the kitchen. Her hair is all over the place and there’s just a hint of saliva in the corner of her mouth. Her eyes are barely open and she’s soon attached to Kara’s middle.

“ _Günaydın_ , _minnoş_ ,” Kara murmurs as she hugs the girl.

Alex burrows her nose in Kara’s neck. “ _Günaydın_.”

Kara kisses the rat nest atop Alex’s head. “We have a guest, love.”

Lena watches with a small smile as Alex’s head turns towards her, still pressed to Kara. She waves.

Alex waves back, still too sleepy to care Miss L is in the house and watching her being cuddly with Kara.

Kara combs the hair out the girl’s eyes. She hums. “Someone’s still sleepy,” she comments softly. Alex nods. “C’mon, baby. Let’s properly wake you up so we can entertain Lena, yes?”

Alex nods back, switching her hold to Kara’s neck.

Kara, in turn, picks the girl up, letting Alex’s legs hug her middle. She turns to Lena. “Give us ten minutes,” she says, adjusting the girl in her arms. “Make yourself at home.”

Lena nods her acceptance and watches the duo leave, presumably up the stairs and into Alex’s room.

Lena does as suggested, getting up from her seat and inspecting around the kitchen. Everything except the stove looks new… but there are no magnets on the fridge, or even notes pinned to it, that’d make the place look homey. Other than the wall clock, there’s nothing in the walls. There’s a rag thrown next the sink and it has little popsicles all over it. It’s cute.

The kitchen is tidy, clean. It’s a good kitchen, she decides. She can imagine Kara here every morning making their lunches and that leaves a warm feeling in her belly.

She moves to the living room/dining room area. The furniture here doesn’t really match the house, but, again, everything looks new and clean. The TV has a PlayStation under it, but, unlike her own console at home, this one doesn’t have cables and controllers strewn around.

That’s Kara’s doing, Lena decides. If Kara is the gamer in this duo, she has no doubt she would put everything away properly. If Alex is, she has no doubt Kara makes her tidy everything up after playing.

She tries the couch. It’s not the most comfortable couch in the world, but it’s long and wide and she can picture Alex using it to nap easily. There’s a matching recliner to the side and a beanbag across it, no doubt for whomever is playing before the TV.

The walls are bare here too. Other than a cute – handmade, she can tell – sign that reads ‘ _evimiz’,_ there’s nothing really that could differentiate this space from an empty house’s one.

The place looks too sterile for her tastes, but, then again, she grew up in a mansion surrounded by statues and annual portraits of the family.

She might not be the best judge of how houses are supposed to be.

“Alex, no!”

Lena jumps a little, hearing thundering steps to the side and soon enough, Alex is skidding into the living room. She’s changed from her boxers and tank top and now’s wearing a loose pair of pants, a Black Sabbat t-shirt and purple, fluffy socks.

“Alexandra! Don’t run in the house!”

Alex chuckles and calls back. “I’m not running!” She turns to Lena with a wide grin. “Hi, Miss L!” she chirps.

Alex is, indeed, no longer sleepy.

Lena smiles. “Hi, Alex.”

The girl flops on the couch next to her. “You’re here early,” she comments.

“Your sister said the same.” Alex’s nose scrunches up at that and Lena doesn’t know why she’s uncomfortable now. “What did I say?” she asks.

Alex’s head tilts to the side, like a lost puppy. “What?”

Lena’s fingertip touches Alex’s nose. “You do this nose thing when something’s wrong.”

Alex blushes as her eyes crosses to see Lena’s finger. “Oh.”

“So? What did I say?”

Alex shrugs. “Kara’s _annem,_ ” she says simply.

Lena nods, remembering what Kara said that day. “Sorry, I forgot. She’s not your sister. She’s your… _annem_?”

Alex giggles. She shakes her head.

Lena is confused, but thankfully Kara comes in the room. She gently cuffs Alex on the side of her head. “Be nice, Lexie.” She turns to Lena, smiling softly. “If you want to tell her about her _“annem”_ , you have to change the last ‘m’ to an ‘n’. The correct wording would be, ‘she’s your _annen’_.”

Lena shakes her head, still confused. “What language is that?” she asks.

“Turkish!” Alex says happily. “ _Annem_ ’s teaching me some, right _anne?_ ”

Kara brushes her hand along Alex’s hair, “yes, _minnoş_. Now, be a darling a entertain Lena a little while I make dinner?”

“Yes, _anne.”_

“Good girl.” She turns to Lena. “I’ll leave her in your hands. Please, make sure she doesn’t set herself, or the house, on fire.”

Lena snorts a chuckle.

Alex pouts. “I’m not that bad!”

Kara kisses the top of her head. “You are still bad enough. Behave.”

Alex sighs, “yes, _anne._ ”

Lena pats Alex knee. “Hey, cheer up. I’d think you don’t like being with me.”

Alex’s eyes widen. “’S not true! I like you!”

The earnest way in which Alex says it makes Lena’s heart squeeze. “Oh? Then, what if you call me Lena when we are not in school, eh?”

Lena once thought Kara’s smile could rival the sun…

… but now…

… now she’s certain Alex’s smile is the most brilliant star in the universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say about this one, other than I love sleepy Alex and I enjoy how Kara and Lena banter like an old married couple.
> 
> It's almost as if they are destined to be together *wink* *wink*
> 
> _Günaydın_ it's the 'good morning' greeting.  
>  _evimiz_ means 'our home'.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovelies!!!
> 
> Here's another chapter for y'all!!

“Alex!”

Alex turns around to see who’s yelling her name in the middle of the hallway.

Lucy comes running, skidding to a stop before her. “Hi, Luce.”

“We haven’t talked in ages!” Lucy calls dramatically. She entwins her arm with Alex’s. “I demand attention!”

Alex chuckles. “You’ve been busy, Luce.”

Lucy nods. “Yeah, but we never see you around. What you’ve been up to?”

Alex shrugs, easily keeping pace with the older girl. “Not much. Doing homework. Recording. That’s basically it.”

Lucy frowns. “Where you disappear to during lunch, Alex? I have the lot searching for you, but you are nowhere to be seen. You’re also not at homeroom, but we get to hear your sleepy voice reading the announcements, so I know you are indeed alive.”

Alex hums. “I’m at Miss Luthor’s,” Alex says easily.

Lucy halts mid step, forcing Alex to stop too. “What?”

Alex rolls her eyes. Lena was worried Alex frequenting her would backlash, but honestly, Alex doesn’t care enough. Lucy is her only friend and the older girl prefers to be with her cheerleader squad rather than Alex, so. “What what?”

Lucy shakes her head. “Did you say you spend lunch period with Bitch Luthor?”

Alex scowls. “Hey! Don’t call her that.”

Lucy’s eyes widen and she takes a step back. It’s been a long while she last’s seen angry Alex and she’s not too sure what’s happening right now. “Sorry.” She rather err on the side of caution. “Why do you spend lunch period with Miss Luthor?”

Alex is still scowling as she answers. “She’s nice.”

Lucy shakes her head. “Alex… she’s not nice. She gave you detention for defending a freshman! She’s not nice. She likes torturing students. She’s a demon.”

Alex rolls her eyes again. “That’s bullshit, Luce. She’s really nice. And she gave me that detention so the PA didn’t demand something harsher.”

Lucy scoffs. “Right. Alex,” she says in the same slow way people use with really little kids, “she made Kate _and_ Sara cry. Twice.”

Alex’s eyebrow rises. “What did they do to deserve that?”

Alex knows Lena is intense, and can be scary when she wants to. Her talk with Kara proves that she’s also really into interrogations, although Alex couldn’t call the woman that spent last Friday with her coloring a demon.

Lena just likes things being in order and she gets pretty stern when students misbehave…

Alex remembers the chewing out Lena gave her when Alex admitted having tried heroin years ago. It didn’t happen ever again after that first time, but with how small Lena made her feel, she wished it hadn’t happened at all.

It’s Lucy’s turn to roll her eyes. “That doesn’t matter. Have you meet them? Of course you have. No one makes those two cry. No one.”

Alex sighs exasperated. “Have you even talked to her? Like, at all?”

Lucy looks at her as is she’s grown another three heads. “Of course not! I’m not crazy.”

Alex throws her arms up, conceding defeat. _Anne_ always say there’s not much to be done when people simply want to be stupid. “Whatever, Lucy.” She looks at the other girl with a flat expression. “You needed me for something? I have a lunch date,” she adds, showing the two bags in her hand.

Lucy shudders. “You know what, never mind. Hang out which whomever. But, yeah. I’m here because Mike is throwing a party this Friday and you’re coming.”

Alex looks at her quizzically. “Uh. No? I don’t remember agreeing to that. I don’t like the asshole, either.”

“Oh, for fucks sake! Alex! You haven’t been out since summer!”

Alex pokes Lucy’s shoulder. “And you know why is that!”

“Your sister cannot have you grounded still,” Lucy shakes her head.

“Dude… did you forget what Max did?”

Lucy glares. “Of course not, ass. But that doesn’t mean you need to turn into a shut in. You need to go out. You need to party with us. You need to meet people!”

Alex looks at Lucy. Really looks at Lucy. There’s a sadness behind her eyes that she hadn’t notice before but that she’s certain it’s been there since she met her. “Where’s the party,” she relents.

“At Mike’s house. It’s like, six blocks from here.”

“Friday?”

“Yeah. Starts at 10 until we pass out.”

Alex nods. “I’ll ask Kara and we’ll see.”

Lucy rolls her eyes again. “You are always asking for her permission. Live a little!”

Alex sighs and levels the girl with a flat look. “I’m this close to be sent to jail. I’ll ask for permission and, if she says yes, I’m not going to drink, and I’ll go home early.”

“Alex-”

“No, Lucy. I don’t want to go. If I go, it’s just because you want me there. So, I’ll ask permission. That’s it.”

She turns and walks away for her friend.

“You are acting like an asshole!”

Alex simply gives her a one finger salute and keeps walking.

She doesn’t want to get in trouble and she really likes Lena and she rather spend Friday with both Lena and _annem._

This’ll be their fourth Friday dinner and she kinda don’t want to miss it.

Losing a friend over loosing time with Lena and _annem_?

She’d rather ditch Lucy.

But she has a point. She needs to hang out with people her own age and stop depending on _annem_ and Lena.

She sighs. She’ll ask Lean now and _annem_ at home. See what they both think.

XxXxX

“Lucy wants me to go to a party,” Alex sulks, flopping in what she’s come to identify as _her_ chair.

“Good morning to you too,” Lena teases, passing along her milkshake. “Lucy? As in Lane?”

“Morning,” Alex grumbles, sipping her milkshake and passing Lena her lunch. “And yeah, Lane.”

Lena raises an eyebrow. “And don’t you want to go?” Lena opens her Tupperware, her mouth watering at the sight of zucchini pasta with cheese raviolis. “I love your _annen_ ,” she comments idly, staring at the food.

Alex grumbles, taking out her own portion of the lunch. Given that Lena is now always fed by Kara, they’ve ditched the Styrofoam containers and went shopping for easily transportable Tupperwares last week, Alex choosing hers in a deep blue and choosing Lena’s matching one in a cheery red.

Alex even convinced Kara to get the matching sets of silverware.

Kara did, pretty sure both the containers and forks will be lost within the month.

“Aren’t you kids supposed to be partying left and right?” Lena asks around a mouthful of the delicious food.

Alex shrugs, swirling her fork around the zucchini. “I don’t like parties anymore.”

Lena raises an eyebrow at that, finally looking at Alex closely. “Eat, sweetie,” she reminds her gently. Once Alex takes a bite and swallows, she questions, “why?”

Alex smiles sadly. “A friend I trusted roofied me… I really don’t want to go to a party.”

Lena’s breath hitches. “Did he…”

Alex shakes her head, pushing the ravioli around. “Lucy was there too. She took care of me. Nothing happened… but… I really don’t want to party.” She looks away. “I also know no one.”

Lena leaves her food on the desk, rounding so she can seat next to Alex. “Hey, Lexie,” she coos, brushing her bangs out her eyes. “If you don’t want to go, no one can force you.”

Alex nods, barely. “But… Lucy’s right… I need to go out. Meet people.”

Lena’s head tilts to the side. “Yeah, but a party doesn’t need to be the only place you go to meet people… but, if you are not sure, I think you should try going. You might have fun.”

Lena knows Alex is not like a normal teen, she’s seen it in both school and at their house. Alex is soft, caring and innocent to an extent she sometimes feels she’s interacting with a small kid… but Alex needs people her own age around, and maybe that party can be a good idea. Granted Alex takes the necessary precautions. And check in with Kara and her every hour. And she’s back home early enough.

Alex pouts, leaving her food on the desk and swiftly climbing on Lena’s lap.

To her credit, Lena only hesitates a second before hugging Alex to her chest. “Sweetie?”

“I don’t wanna miss Friday with you guys,” Alex says in a small voice.

Lena blinks, surprised. This is not the first time Alex sits on her lap, last Friday they colored on the same book and Alex decided they were too far away if they did not share the seat… but she never expected Alex to do so at school.

Discreetly, she looks at the door, making sure it is indeed closed.

The last thing she needs is for someone to catch a glimpse of them in what could be seen as a compromising situation… even if this all about Alex’s comfort.

Lena buries her fingers on Alex’s hair, massaging her scalp and prompting the kid to lean fully against her chest. “Honey, they’ll be more Fridays… Granted Kara allows it, I’ll be there.”

Alex noses her neck, just like Lena has seen her do with Kara. It tickles a little, but she can’t deny it feels oddly comforting. “She will,” she murmurs. “She likes you.”

Lena hums, rubbing Alex’s back with the hand she’s not already using in Alex’s hair. “I like her too.”

“Good.”

“So… the party?”

Alex shrugs. “Imma ask _annem_.”

“That’s a good plan.” Lena rests her head a top Alex’s. “If the party doesn’t work out as you expected, I promise to pick you up.”

Alex smiles and nods. “Thanks.”

“Now, c’mon. Your _annen_ made us a yummy lunch and we need to eat.”

Alex nods and slides from Lena’s lap to resume eating.

Lena tries not to miss the closeness.

XxXxX

“I already told her she’s not going.”

_“Kara… you can’t keep her locked up like a princess in a tower.”_

Kara scowls. “She doesn’t want to go. I don’t want her to go. It’s easy as that.”

Lena sighs on the other side of the line. _“Kar… I know. I understand. But it’s been three months now and Alex is not making friends. Maybe a party might help.”_

Kara sighs back. This talking over the phone is a recent thing between the two, but it’s something she looks forwards to nightly.

It all started with a text here and there. After Lena texted her to get their address, the casual communication escalated little by little until, one day, Kara simply called to rant about the amazingness that is Overwatch, because believe it or not, that console is Kara’s, and then, they started calling nightly. Lena knows to call after ten, because otherwise Alex would hog the phone, and Kara knows to wait up for the call on Wednesdays, because that’s the day Lena has her weekly chat with her brother.

It’s a new routine, not even two weeks old, but one that both are enjoying immensely.

Or, at least, one Kara enjoyed until Lena brought up the damned party.

“Lee… you don’t understand…”

That nickname thing is also fairly new.

_“On the contrary. Alex explained some to me. I understand. But she can’t keep to herself forever.”_

“She sure can,” Kara mutters. “I can keep her locked up just fine. She’s easily entertained and if you come along to bring food, I can stay with her all the time, so she’s not lonely.”

Lena’s chuckle is not amused. _“Kara. Keep this up and you’ll make her agoraphobic.”_

“Better to have some phobias than to end up dead in a ditch somewhere.”

“ _… Now you’re just exaggerating.”_

“But what if I’m not?” Kara exhales wetly. “You don’t know how awful it was then, Lee, to know it could’ve been worse and I wasn’t there to protect her. Fuck, there’s been so many times I haven’t been there to protect her. I can’t risk it. I can’t.”

Lena’s voice is soft and tender when she replies, _“Kar… you can’t protect her forever. She has to grow up. She needs to learn to fend for herself.”_

“But that’s the thing, Lee. She fended for herself before and she almost ended up in jail… there was a time where she honest to god tried underground fighting. She was fourteen. She’s a little thing now. Can you imagine her at fourteen?”

“ _I-I didn’t know that.”_

“Not many do. Our social worker as hell doesn’t, so please, keep it a secret.”

Lena sighs. “ _Of course I will. Just…I won’t ask what’s the worst that’ll happen, because your mind will go to end of the world scenarios, but, what’s the best that could happen?”_

Kara hums, not giving a verbal answer.

Lena continues then, “ _she can have fun. She can connect with someone other than Lucy. She might make a friend.”_

Kara sighs shakily, rubbing at her face. “Why can’t this party be like a normal birthday, garden party? One where there’ll be no alcohol but lots of cake and gifts and us parents allowed?”

Lena chuckles at that. _“I think Alex is a little too old for that.”_

“Yeah, too old…” Kara murmurs, knowing well enough that most of the time Alex is, in fact, just _old_ _enough_ for a garden party.

“ _Look,”_ Lena says softly. “ _I’m still planning on coming over for dinner… if I’m still invited?”_

“You are always invited.”

Kara can almost hear the smile in the older woman’s lips. _“Then, I’ll come over for dinner. We’ll drop Alex off, together, and I’ll wait with you until it’s time to pick her up. What do you say?”_

Kara sighs. “I don’t want you to wait up, Lee.”

_“It’s Friday night. I have nowhere else I rather be AND I still want to kick your ass in Overwatch and what better time to do it when the pest is entertained?”_

Kara laughs at that. While Lena still shows up early enough to arrive when Alex is still napping, it’s the norm that once Alex is up and running, she’ll demand Lena’s whole attention until, inevitably, she’ll fall asleep while the adults chat.

It was a marvel to learn that Lena likes gaming too, even if both of them are too busy with their every day lives to play at their hearts’ content. It’s nice having someone to play with sometimes… Alex gets too bored with gaming and James, her old game buddy, is no longer around as much as she’d like, being busy with his newest boyfriend.

“Fine,” Kara concedes. “But if she calls to be picked up early, you are buying breakfast Saturday.”

Lena hums on the other end. “ _And if she doesn’t, I’ll buy us lunch Saturday. If we pick her up late, I refuse to be up early… and maybe, after, we can go have that coffee? The two of us?”_

Kara’s breath hitches at that. She’s well aware they both flirt around each other constantly, but, until now, no one has really made a move on it.

Sure, Lena beat her for coffee that one time, but that was to talk about Alex.

And sure, Kara invited her over for dinner, but that was to keep talking about Alex…

Their now weekly dinners don’t count, they both know those are done for Alex’s sake too, even if they enjoy the company of the other.

Going out without it revolving or involving Alex… sound heavenly.

_“Kara?”_ Lena sounds worried on the other end of the line and Kara chuckles.

She’d thought it was obvious her answer would be yes.

“I’d love to go out with you for that coffee, Lee.”

Lena exhales noisily on the other end. “ _Good. Good. We can work the details while Alex’s in the party.”_

“Sounds perfect.”

“ _Anne!”_

Kara winces. Alex’s being up this late might mean either nightmare or a leakage. “I’m in the studio, _minnoş_!”

“ _Nightmare?”_ Lena asks. This is not the first time she’s heard Alex wake in the middle of their calls.

Alex comes stumbling into the studio and right onto her lap, Fluffy clutched tight in her arms. Kara can’t feel any wetness in her crotch, so, “It looks like it. Call you later?”

“Whos’ dat?” Alex’s asks around her thumb and over Lena’s reply.

“Lena, baby.”

“Gimme.”

“I’m putting through a sleepy monster, Lee.”

“Hi.”

_“Hi, sweetheart. Had a nightmare?”_

“Uh-huh.”

“ _Want to talk about it?”_

Alex noses on Kara’s neck. “Scary.”

_“Oh, sweet girl. How about you go snuggle with Kara and see if the scary goes away.”_

“You too.”

Lena’s heart melts at the soft request. “ _I’m sorry, love. But I’m too far away and it’s too late to go visit.”_

Alex sniffs, shoving the phone back to Kara. She slips her thumb inside her mouth again and burrows close to Kara, crying softly.

“ _Alex?”_

“It’s me again. She’s crying now. Call tomorrow? I don’t think I’ll calm her down soon.”

Lena sighs. “ _I think I messed up, but yes. Call tomorrow.”_

“What do you mean?”

“ _She asked me to go cuddle her. I kinda said no.”_ Kara can almost hear the wince in her voice.

Kara hums. “Don’t worry, she’ll forgive you _if_ you give her cuddles tomorrow at lunch.”

Lena laughs at that. “ _I will. Go tend to her. Call tomorrow.”_

Kara puts the phone on speaker. “Can you say goodnight to Lena, _minnoş_?”

“Nigh’,” she mumbles around her thumb.

“ _Good night, angel. Try to have sweet dreams now, okay?”_

“Otay. Nite nite.”

“Good night, Lee. Talk tomorrow.”

“Night Kara. You too have sweet dreams.”

Lena disconnects and Kara can’t fight the goofy smile she’s sporting, even when Alex’s form wiggles on her lap, demanding attention.

“C’mon, baby. Let’s go cuddle.”

Alex nods, clinging to her _anne_ and letting herself be carried to her room.

She doesn’t remember her dream, just that it was scary. But, hearing Lena’s voice, and feeling _anne’s_ arms around her, makes her feel so much better.

She closes her eyes and she’s asleep before they reach her bed.

She has good dreams after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess I have nothing to say about this chapter...
> 
> Kara and Lena are going forward with their 'friendship' and Alex and Lucy are trying to rekindle theirs.


	31. Chapter 31

“Remember, we’ll come for you at two. If you want us to pick you sooner, just call. You have both our numbers. No drinking and no drugs. Call us if anything happens.”

Alex glowers from the backseat at the back of Lena’s head.

It was bad enough that Lena thought going to this stupid party is a good idea… but when she convinced _anne_ of it, it just became a nightmare.

“I don’t wanna,” she complains with her arms crossed.

Kara opens her mouth, ready to agree with her, when Lena places her hand on Kara’s thigh and squeezes. “We know, sweetie. But you promised to try.”

Alex kicks the back of Lena’s seat weakly.

“Alex!” Kara scolds.

Alex whines.

Lena smiles sadly at both of them. Kara’s knuckles are white on the steering wheel as she glares at Alex through the rear mirror. This whole process is not going well for her.

Alex, on her part, is switching her glare from woman to woman. She too is not happy at all with this situation.

“Alex,” Lena says softly. “Please go. You’ll have fun.”

“No, I won’t.”

“Yes, you will.”

Alex’s glare softens and her gaze turns pleading to the brunette. “Promise?”

Lena smiles. “I promise it won’t be as bad as you fear.”

Alex sighs. “I want cuddles later.”

Lena beams. “Done. I’ll cuddle you to death if you try going inside.”

Alex nods. She undoes her seatbelt and leans forward in the space between the front seats. She kisses Kara’s cheek and turns, delivering on kiss on Lena’s. “You’ll be back at two, right?”

“Right,” says Kara, Lena is too shocked to respond.

“Okay. I’m leaving now.”

The girl opens her door and they are meet with the thump of the low bass the house is emitting. The attack on their senses lasts just a moment, as Alex is out the car quickly and they both watch her bound to where a small cluster of teens are standing.

“Did she just… kiss me?” Lena asks faintly, touching where Alex’s lips had been.

Kara smiles. “Yeah, babe, she did.” She starts the car and smoothly rolls away the house.

“… why?”

Kara snorts. “Well, she kind of likes you.”

Lena blushes. “Oh.”

“Yeah. C’mon. There’s games to be played at home.”

Lena shakes her head. “Fine. Let’s go so I can whip your ass.”

Kara just laughs.

XxXxX

“See who got off her high horse and came see us!” Sara’s snarky greeting is delivered with a huge smile and a jesting tone.

“Who was that?” Kate asks, looking at the retreating car.

Lucy scoffs. “That’s Miss Z. Alex’s _mom_.”

Alex decides to ignore the tone her friend is using, because, well, she’s not wrong. “Yeah.”

Oliver scoffs. “She always drops you off?”

Alex glares. “Yes.”

Kate and Sara share a look and shrug. “Does it matter?” asks Sara. “Let’s go party!”

They enter the house finally and Alex instantly wants to leave. However, she’s grabbed by the hand and she’s pulled around. She looks at Kate, the one holding her hand, and scrunches up her nose.

She barely knows this girl and now she’s touching her.

She doesn’t like that.

“What’s your poison?” Sara yells from her place at the bar. She’s already mixing what Alex believes are the rest of their gang’s drinks.

“Water!” Alex yells back and Sara freezes, looking at her as she had just asked for liquid lead. She shrugs. “I don’t drink!” she yells again.

Sara shakes her head, tossing her a bottle and keeping with her mixing.

“You are dull,” Oliver snarks.

Lucy narrows her eyes, elbowing him in the stomach. “Alex here has done so more drugs than you, pretty boy.”

Alex’s nose scrunches up again when all the eyes in the group turns to her.

“Really?” Sara comes over, hugging her by the shoulders. “I have some sweet Jane we can try.”

Alex shrugs her off. “I’m sober. I don’t do drugs.”

Sara huffs but steps away. “Ollie is right. You are dull.”

Alex shrugs. She points to where the ones that started drinking early are already dancing. “Imma go dance.”

She scurries away from the group, not noticing how they all glare at Lucy.

“She’s not how you described her,” Sara grumbles. “I thought she was going to be fun.”

Lucy grunts. “She used to be.”

XxXxX

Lena pauses the game for the third time in the last hour.

“Okay, this is going nowhere.” Lena tosses her controller on the carpet before her. She turns to the side, staring at Kara. “Eyes on me.”

Kara sighs, tossing her own controller to the side. They are sitting in the space between the couch and the TV and they’ve spent the last hour trying to distract themselves from what Alex is doing.

They’ve changed into soft pants and Lena, being Lena, brought along a duffle with pajamas, lounging clothes and snacks. There was no guaranty how the night would end, but Lena is always nothing if not prepared.

Kara sighs, folding her legs to her chest and hugging her knees close. “I’m worried.”

Lena nods. “That I know. But, why?”

Kara glares without heat to Lena. “You know why.”

Lena nods again. “I know. But I also think there’s something deeper than that.”

Kara sighs deeply. “I’m worried the party will be too much for Alex.”

“Alex knows not to drink, or do drugs… and I trust her. Do you?” Lena places a hand on Kara’s shoulder.

Kara shakes her head. “I trust her. But I also don’t trust the rest of the teens there.”

Lena nods. “True that.”

Kara squints to the coffee table, where Lena demanded they left their phones, face down as to not tempt them…

Kara is so tempted to text Alex this very instant.

“Don’t think about it,” Lena says softly. “It’s only midnight.”

Kara groans.

Lena smiles sadly, rubbing the blonde’s back. “It’s only two more hours.”

Kara groans louder. “Please make the time mover faster.”

Lena sighs.

Kara peeks at her, smiling thinly. “I’m sorry I’m such bad company.”

Lena nudges Kara with her leg. “You are pretty. That’s makes up for your grumpiness.”

Kara snorts. “And you are beautiful, which makes up for your dorkiness.”

Lena blushes faintly at that. She slides closer to the blonde, pulling her own legs up, mimicking Kara’s position. “So I’m beautiful?”

Kara’s eyes widen in mock surprise. “There are these shiny things which reflect images… they are called mirrors, have you never seen one?”

This time is Lena’s turn to snort. “And I’m the dork one?”

Kara nods. “Of course you are.” Kara slides closer to Lena, butting their legs together.

Lena’s eyes drop halfway, as they look at Kara’s lips. The one cup of wine they shared during dinner tinted them just slightly red and they look soft and plushy and tempting.

Kara too looks down the moment she feels the shift in Lena. She catches where the older woman is looking, and her heart starts to beat faster.

“I want to kiss you,” Lena murmurs.

Kara, stupid, dumb Kara, murmurs back, “you need to buy me coffee first.”

A startled laugh comes from Lena, the moment ruined. “What?”

Kara flushes red. “Oh, god. That was not what my brain told my mouth to say!”

Lena laughs harder at Kara’s embarrassment. She decides to take pity on her. “I bought you coffee that day,” she comments idly.

It’s amazing they can discuss Lena’s threats to call social services so easily now.

Kara’s flush goes down just one notch. “Excuse me, following that logic, I’ve fed you for weeks AND I’ve given you dinner four times now.”

Lena smiles tenderly. “Then, by all means, Miss Zorel… kiss me.”

It only takes a second, the moment their lips met, and their eyes close, the moment their noses brush together just as they change angles, and Lena gently leans over Kara, the moment green meets blue and they smile, soft, warm, content.

It only takes a second to know this attraction can lead to so much more.

Lena kisses Kara.

Kara kisses Lena.

And the world around them doesn’t matter.

XxXxX

“I didn’t think I’d see you here!”

Alex turns, startled, to the voice that’s calling her from the right. “Maggie?!”

The girl steps closer, to chat with all the music around. It seems like there are three types of music playing at the same time and it’s hard to pick a beat to dance to… hence why everybody is more preoccupied by drinking to death than dancing.

“The one and only!” Maggie yells back. “What are you doing here?!”

“Lucy brought me!”

Maggie’s eyebrows shoot up. “Lane? She’s like, the Queen Bee!”

Alex snorts. That’s one way to describe the brunette. “She’s my best friend!” Because no matter she’s annoyed at her, and Lucy no doubt is annoyed at Alex, the fact remains that Lucy is her only friend, and thus, her best one.

Maggie’s whistle gets lost in the noise. “That’s impressive! You’re new too!”

Alex shakes her head. “Met the asshole a couple of years back!” she explains.

Maggie nods. “This party is lame! Wanna head out?”

And Alex does. But she’s supposed to stay put and waiting for _anne_ and Lena for just one more hour beats getting into trouble. “Can’t! My ride will come here to pick me up soon!”

Maggie pouts. “C’mon, Alex! This party is stupid! Everybody is drunk or high and the music sucks!”

Alex shakes her head. “Sorry, but no!”

“You are boring!”

Alex feels a little pit of anger grow in her stomach, everybody keeps saying that and is starting to annoy her. But, again, she is not looking to get into trouble and she really wants to be responsible for once.

She also wants to go back home and make sure she tried, she did, but parties no longer were it for her and please, don’t make her go to another one like this.

“At least come with me outside! I’m losing my hearing here!”

Alex nods at that. Waiting outside the house for _anne_ and Lena beats waiting inside where it’s too warm and noisy and smelly.

The make their way outside, where Mike’s lush back garden is thankfully empty.

Apparently the dumbasses inside don’t care much for fresh air.

Alex sighs, happy. “Oh, my ears! They can finally rest!”

Maggie giggles. “You are cute, Danvers.”

Alex scrunches up her nose. “Thanks, I think.”

She goes sit on a bench that’s just off the side and Maggie joins her easily. “So,” Maggie starts. “What’s your story?”

“Uh?”

“Why you switched to DEO High?”

“Oh. We were kicked out our old apartment. We managed to get a house around here, so I had to switch schools. What about you?”

Maggie hums. “I was kicked out too. Came live with my aunt and her family. They are nice. My cousin is seven and follows me like a shadow.”

Alex nods. “Cool. I just line with my _anne_. We have no other family.”

Maggie’s head tilts to the side. “ _Anne_?”

Alex blushes a little. She plays with the water bottle she’s been carrying around since she arrived at this party. “My mom,” she explains.

Maggie nods. “Can I ask what happened to your dad?”

Alex shrugs. “You can, but I won’t answer. I don’t know.” She’s not about to dig deep into how messed up her family ties are. _Anne_ is _anne_ and that’s the only thing Maggie needs to know.

“Okay.” Maggie shrugs back.

“Are you liking DEO high?”

“Meh. It’s just like any other high school. It has classes, assholes, a popular group, a nerd group, clubs and yeah… it’s okay, I guess.”

Alex hums. “This is the first time I change schools,” she admits. “I’m still getting used to it.”

Maggie stretches. “You will. You are a sophomore, right?”

Alex frowns. “No…? Why would you think that?”

Maggie has the decency to blush. “Well… you are short, and I heard you are sixteen… so you are either a sophomore or a short junior, no?”

Alex scoffs. “I’m a senior, thank you very much.”

Maggie’s eyes widen. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.”

Alex waves her off. “Nah, don’t worry. I get that a lot. I know I’m tiny, and it doesn’t help that I started school really young.”

Maggie nods. She’s about to say something when a frantic looking, and high looking, Lucy comes out running from the house, followed by Sara and Kate, which don’t look any sober than her friend.

“Alex!” Lucy yells. “We hafta go!”

Alex is up in an instant. “What’s wrong?”

“The police are here and they’ll gonna be finding the hard stuff any minute now.”

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Alex looks around. The back garden is fenced, but it’s not so high as to be impossible to climb. However, one side of it leads to another house, the other rounds the house to the front where the police might be and the other leads to a darkened alley she’s not sure she wants to explore right now.

She looks at the house. The garden faces the back of the garage and its roof is close enough to the ground she knows she can make the jump. From there, she’s certain she can leap to the neighbors’ roof and… yes… if her gut is right, that one roof will connect to several others that can take them far from here.

Climbing down will be a problem, but they can think of that once the moment comes.

“Come on,” she orders the other girls. “We are getting out of here.”

“How?” Kate demands. “We are trapped here.”

Alex glares. “Yeah, well, I know the way out. So, you either follow or you stay. Your choice.”

And with that, she’s running to make her first jump.

XxXxX

Kitten kisses turned into a full make out session in under five minutes.

Lena has Kara trapped under her in the soft rug, as they leisurely investigate each other’s mouths.

Hands roam here and there, but they know it’s too soon to really go any further, so they just bask in each other’s warmth and company.

Until Kara’s phone rings.

It takes them a second to register the ringtone through their haze, but when they do, both are up and scrambling to answer.

“Alex?” Kara asks, putting the phone on speaker.

“ _Anne_ ,” Alex sounds alright, if a little winded. “ _Can you come pick us up? There was a problem at the house, so we had to flee.”_

Kara inhales sharply, but its Lena who answers.

“What happened, sweetie?”

They can almost hear the glower in Alex’s voice. _“Someone failed to inform me that there were going to be hard drugs at the party. The police were called, and we made a run for it.”_

Lena’s eye widens considerably at that.

She didn’t expect to hear that.

“Where are you, _minnoş_? Who is with you?”

 _“We are at DEO high.”_ Kara nods. That’s far enough from the house and safe ground. Of course Alex would go there. _“And its Lucy, Kate, Sara, Maggie and I. I don’t know who will be here when you come, but please come pick me up.”_

Kara and Lena exchange a look and nod. Lena gets up to get the keys and starting the car.

“We’ll be there in five minutes, love. Sit tight.” Kara sits up too, following Lena out.

Alex’s relief is heard over the phone. “ _Teşekkürler, anne.”_

“Don’t thank me. It’s my job.”

And it’ll be her job to put the fear of god in Lucy the moment she has the girl within reach.

And maybe she’ll throttle Lena a little too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say about this one either.
> 
> I have a migraine, so I might've missed something during editing.
> 
>  _Teşekkürler_ means 'thanks'


	32. Chapter 32

The car rolls to a stop in front of DEO High and Alex is quick to approach it.

Both front doors open and from the passenger seat comes Kara, who instantly hugs Alex’s to her chest.

“What happened, _minnoş_?” Alex’s tense body relaxes immediately as she clings tightly to her _anne_. The girl reeks of weed, cigarette smoke and alcohol, but she has come to differentiate when the smell is obtained by simply being in a stinky place.

She is certain Alex didn’t take anything, and that’s confirmed when she speaks and her breath smells clean.

“I don’t know,” Alex murmurs into her shoulder. “Luce said the police was there and there were so many drugs and we fled.”

Kara’s hand buries in Alex’s hair and she takes a moment to contemplate the girls that are loitering the school’s entrance.

There’s Lucy, who she knows and wants to take over her knee so badly, looking drunk and high but alert.

There’s also a short girl, maybe an inch taller than Alex’s, with tanned skin, high cheekbones and glossy hair. This one looks alert too, and thankfully not high.

There’s also a girl, taller than all the kids gathered. She’s lanky, with long limbs, short red hair and redder eyes. This one, Kara decides, is high as fuck.

And there’s the last girl, blonde and shorter than the redheaded but still towering over Alex, who is using her friend as a leaning pole. This last kid, it’s definitely drunk, high and ready to pass out.

Lena comes around the car, taking Alex from Kara’s arms and hugging her tighter than the blonde. “You okay, sweetheart?” she asks in a murmur.

“… Can’t breathe…” Alex squeaks.

Lena relents, but just barely.

“Is that Miss Luthor?” one of the kids whispers loudly.

Kara’s eyes narrow, sweeping her gaze over the small huddle of girls, finally focusing on Lucy. “You,” she says glaring at the brunette, “get in the car.”

Lucy winces but nods, “Miss Zorel, I-”

“Now, Lucy.”

Lucy shuffles in place for a second but, at Kara’s raised eyebrow, she climbs in the car without a peep.

Kara sighs. She looks at the rest of them. “Anyone wants a ride?” she asks with a pointed look, letting them know that it’s not a question but an order.

The redheaded and blonde look at each other, no doubt having a silent conversation, while the brunette takes a step forward and smiles awkwardly. “I’m good,” she says. “I live around the corner.”

“Are you sure, Miss Sawyer?” Lena asks, still hugging Alex to her.

“Yes, ma’am. I didn’t drink that much and it’s close enough.”

Kara looks at Lena, silently asking if letting a teen walk home at almost two in the morning is alright. Specially if Lena knows the teen.

Lena quirks an eyebrow and Kara nods.

Kara turns to the short brunette. “I’ll walk you home, then,” she decides.

Miss Sawyer has the good sense to nod.

“You two,” Kara looks at the remaining duo. “In the car. I’ll be back soon.”

“Actually-” the redheaded tries to say, before being interrupted by Lena.

“In the car, Miss Kane,” Lena orders sternly. “You too Miss Lance.”

The two teens are soon inside the car with Lucy.

Alex snickers.

“What’s that for?” Lena shakes the girl still in her arms lightly.

“Luce said you made them cry once,” Alex explains with a chuckle. “They are scared of you.”

Lena sighs and nods. “Yes. Those two are troublemakers. I’m shocked they haven’t ended up in my office since school started.”

Kara shakes her head, focusing the teen she’s supposed to deliver by foot. “Let’s go.”

“This way.” The teen starts walking. “I’m Maggie, by the way, Miss Zorel.”

Kara smiles and follows. “Nice to meet you, Maggie.”

Lena watches the blonde escort the teen around the corner, making idle chatter.

“Lena?” Alex asks, leaning all her weight against the older woman and looking up.

Lena brushes the hair out Alex’s eyes. “Yes, sweetheart?”

“Can I not go to any other party? Please?”

Lena sighs deeply, kissing Alex’s forehead. “You are not allowed to go to any parties at all. You’ll be grounded forever if you ever go to a party again.”

Alex snickers. She nods, burrowing in Lena’s neck. “Okay, mom.”

XxXxX

The car ride is tense, Lena driving slowly with the three drunk and high girls in the back seat and Kara sitting on the front with Alex on her lap. It’s not the best set up, but they can’t let the teens on their own so late at night.

Dropping off Kate and Sara is done quickly, the girls living just a few blocks from each other, leaving only a meekly Lucy on the backseat, as Alex fell asleep on Kara’s lap.

“How are you feeling, Lucy?” Kara asks as Lena drives them home.

Lucy grunts. “Good, Miss Z.”

Kara’s eyebrow raises. “Really, you look a little pale to me. What did you take?”

Lucy grimaces. She looks pointedly at the back of Lena’s head.

“Oh, don’t mind me,” says Lena. “I’m off duty right now. If anyone will chew you out, it’ll be Kara.”

Lucy’s grimace doubles at that.

“Well?”

“A couple of beers, tequila, some weed.”

“That’s it?”

Lucy shifts in place.

“Lucy.”

The girl winces. “I had a pill, but I don’t know what it was.”

Kara sighs in disappointment. “Thanks for telling me. Now, are your dad or sister home?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Then you are staying with us.”

“But-”

“It’s not a question, Lucy. I don’t want you to wake up choking on your vomit or something. And if you’re your own, no one will be there to help.”

“I can take care of myself,” Lucy mumbles, looking down.

Lena’s car rolls to a stop in front of their house.

“I know you can,” Kara says softly. “But you are drunk, and high and I won’t risk it. Besides, the only thing you’ll do is get inside, have water and head to bed. You can go home in the morning if you want.”

Lucy sighs. “I feel fine.”

Lena finally turns off the car and turns on her seat, looking at the teen. “And you’ll feel better once you drink water and sleep it off. C’mon.” She looks at Kara. “Need help?”

Kara shakes her head. “Nah. Go ahead, we’ll be there in a minute.”

Lena nods and ushers the meek Lucy inside the house, as Kara gently wakes Alex up.

“Hey, _minnoş_ ,” she coos. “I need you to wake up for a hot minute.”

Alex grumbles but opens her eyes. “ _Anne?”_

“Yes, baby. I need you to wake up a little. Lucy and Lena are in house and I need you to get up so I can tuck you in.”

Alex’s nose twitches. “Bath?”

“We’ll have a really long one tomorrow, promise. But right now, I need you to be big Alex.”

Alex’s eyes water. “Why?”

“Do you want Lena to find out about little Lexie?” Kara is certain the older woman is already if not suspicious, really close to it. It’s not like Alex makes it a habit to hide that huge part of herself.

“I don’t care,” Alex mumbles, rubbing at her eye.

“And Lucy?”

That makes Alex tense. “She staying?”

“Yes. We are being sensible people and keeping an eye on her. She’s home alone.”

Alex nods. “Okay. Me big.”

Kara kisses Alex’s temple. “Thank you, love. Now, did you take anything?”

“No, Kara _._ I just had a bottle of water and I kept it with me at all times.”

“Good girl.” Kara ignores the sting she feels when Alex switches names. She did ask the girl to be big tonight. “Let’s head inside then.”

Before getting out the car, though, Alex asks in a small voice, “Can I still wear a pull-up, though?”

Kara kisses Alex temple again. “Of course, baby. Of course.”

XxXxX

“They asleep?” Lena asks, nursing a cup of the mint tea she prepared for Lucy.

Kara sighs, taking a seat next to the brunette. “Yes. It’s really late for Alex, so she passed out quickly, and Lucy was right. She’s mostly sober, but fell asleep quickly enough.” She steals Lena’s cup, taking a calming sip. “I’m not sure how Alex will react to find I tucked them in the same bed, but hopefully they won’t kill each other.”

Lena snorts a laugh at that. “God, partying was done differently in my time.”

Kara snorts back. “You are not that old. I bet there was alcohol a plenty and drugs at every corner.”

Lena hums, stealing her cup back. “Yeah, there were, but I never cared much for either. I was happier drinking in with a handful of friends, to be honest. Did you?”

“Did I what?”

“Party much?”

Kara shrugs. “No? Yes? I used to go clubbing with Nia a lot, and I go out with James when he is single, but I’m not much of going out on my own. I never did drugs, though… I’ve always been afraid they’ll make me go crazy.”

“Uh?”

Kara looks down and fiddles with her fingers. “Its…”

Lena ducks down, trying to find Kara’s eyes. “Hey, it’s okay if you don’t want to tell me.”

Kara exhales shakily. “I’m just afraid I’ll push you away,” she admits in a murmur. “I really like you and we are already a handful.”

Lena nods. “You are a handful yes, but one I like. I really, really like. Even if you tell me right now you want nothing to do with me, I’d still want to be around Alex… if you let me.”

Kara smiles at that. “As long as she wants, you can be around her… but, well… I do like you.”

Lena beams, knocking their shoulders together. “And I like you. So, spill.”

Kara sighs. “My aunt… my dad’s sister, had schizophrenia and I remember a teacher once saying some drugs can be triggers to develop the condition… so I’ve always been scared of even trying.”

Lena hugs her shoulders. “That’s a valid concern.”

Kara looks at her weirdly. “It doesn’t bother you?”

“What?”

“That there’s mental illness in my family?”

Lena considers joking about it, how she’s the one already crazy for the blonde, but she doesn’t think it’d be appreciated. “No. There’s nothing wrong with that. My brother is bipolar, so I understand.”

Kara exhales, letting all the tension leave her body. “I didn’t know that.”

“No one but family does.”

Kara smiles tiredly. “So, I’m family now?”

Lena Eskimo kisses her. “Keep working on it and you might.”

Kara snorts. “You are a dork.”

Lena nods. “Yep. And this dork is going home.”

She stands, intending to do just that, when Kara grabs her hand. “What? No. Stay.”

Lena’s eyebrows rise. “Kara?”

Kara looks to the side, suddenly shy. “I mean. It’s late. Or early. I mean…” she takes a deep breath, turning her eyes to the older woman. “Stay. I don’t want you driving at this hour and you are tired. I am tired. Please.”

Lena bites her lip, considering it, already knowing her answers but wanting to see what Kara comes up with.

“Look. My bed is big, but if you’re not comfortable, I can totally take the couch.”

“I’ll take the couch,” Lena bargains.

“… we both take the couch?”

Lena laughs at how adorable she looks. “Fine, we can both take the couch.

“Great- Wait.”

Lena just laughs harder at that.

XxXxX

Tugging at her top wakes Kara up.

She opens an eye to look around. The sun is up, her heavy drape only letting a small silver of light sneak into the room. She’s laying on the left side of the bed, an abnormality, as she often finds herself sleeping on the right one. A little crane of the neck and she notices why:

Lena is still asleep, curled on her side and facing away from Kara.

Uh.

The tugging comes a little more forcefully and Kara looks down to see a grumpy Alex demanding her attention.

“ _Minnoş_?”

Alex hums, clutching at her top and burrowing close.

“What’s the matter?”

Her hand goes instinctively to her butt, patting her pull-up.

It’s dry.

“Changed before coming here,” Alex mumbles.

Kara nods. She drops a kiss to Alex’s head. It still smells like party. “Good girl,” she mumbles back. “What time is it?”

“Early.”

“Then sleep.”

Alex nods tiredly. She huddles closer to Kara, closing her eyes. “ _Anne?”_

“Yes, baby?”

“Why’s Lucy in my bed?”

Kara buries her nose in Alex’s hair. It really needs a wash. “We were lacking on sleeping places, _minnoş_.”

Alex nods again. “Dat’s why Lena’s here?”

Kara closes her eyes, humming in affirmation.

“ _Anne?_ ” Alex mumbles.

“Yeah?”

“… you Lena’s girlfriend now?”

Kara’s eyes fly open just in time to see Lena’s shaking in silent laughter from over the top of Alex’s head.

“Uh…” Kara fumbles for a second, watching the other woman losing it on the other side of the bed. “I haven’t asked her, yet,” she answers honestly.

Alex tugs at her shirt. “Ask her.”

Lena’s let’s out a little snort at that.

Kara glares at the brunette. “I don’t know if I want to, love,” she deadpans. “She’s awfully rude.”

Lena has the gall to roll over so she can face the other two in bed. Her smile is wide and her eyes tired.

Alex, it seems, doesn’t notice that. “She’s not!” she defends her second favorite person.

Lena’s loses her battle with silence and starts laughing, hard.

Alex gasps, turning around with eyes wide open. “Lena!”

Lena opens one arm and Alex is soon cuddling her instead of Kara.

“See?” Kara whines. “She’s the worst. She steals my baby.”

“I think I’m pretty awesome, thank you very much.” Alex giggles and Lena kisses the top of Alex’s head. “Urg, Alex. You stink.”

Alex rolls back onto Kara’s arms. “You right, _anne_ ,” she pouts. “She’s awful.”

Kara sticks her tongue in Lena’s way.

“Real mature, Kara.”

Kara shrugs and cuddles her girl closer to her chest. “Sleep now.”

Both Alex and Kara burrow deeper in the covers, closing their eyes and getting ready to keep sleeping.

“Hey!” Lena demands after a minute. “Weren’t you asking me something?”

“Uh… no?”

“Sleep,” Alex slurs, the excitement of the morning’s playing already leaving her body.

“Kara?” Lena asks expectantly.

“Shhh. Baby’s sleeping.”

“Are you seriously not going to ask me?”

“No.”

Lena snorts, half amused and half offended.

“Lena?”

“Yes, Alex.”

“Date my _annem,_ ” the teen demands in a murmur.

Kara smirks and Lena blinks, surprised.

“Uh… sure?” Lena says slowly.

Alex nods to herself, burrowing on Kara and nosing her neck. “You date,” she mumbles. “Now sleep. Nite nite.”

And just like that, Lena and Kara become official.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...
> 
> That happened.
> 
> :)


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for the angst, lovelies.

“I didn’t know there were going to be hard drugs,” Lucy says, playing with her food.

It’s Saturday afternoon, and good to her promise, Lena bought lunch for them. As Lucy spent the night, and her family wasn’t home by the time they all woke, it was decided Lucy was tagging along after everyone showered and dressed for the day.

And, because apparently Alex’s scored her _anne_ a girlfriend, Lucy and Alex sat in a table outside while the lovebirds sat inside, sharing their long promised coffee.

Alex hums, sipping on her milkshake. “I’m not mad,” she confesses. “But I really don’t like your friends.”

Lucy smiles wryly. “They can be intense.”

Alex shrugs. “Don’t get me wrong… I used to hang out with people like them… Max and Siob, for example.” She takes a bite from her hamburger. “But I don’t want trouble now,” she says, looking towards the inside of Noona’s.

Lucy nods, biting on a fry. “I know… but they are usually less intense.”

Alex hums again. “This the first time they throw a party like that one?”

Lucy nods. “Yes… It was a jocks party mostly. The football team is doing great, as is the basketball one, and Mike’s parents usually leave for a week this time of the year. It made sense. I just didn’t realize they would go all out.”

“No news yet of what happened there?”

Lucy shakes her head. “I’ve tried calling Ollie, but his phone is off.” She sighs. “I think he got arrested too.”

Alex polishes the last of her hamburger. “And no idea why the police was called?”

“No.” Lucy brings her phone out, checking her social media. “Everyone’s quiet.”

Alex plays with her straw. “Weird.”

Lucy shrugs. “Thanks for taking us out of there… I don’t know about the others, but I really didn’t fancy going to the police station again.”

Alex snorts. “And you say that to me? Luce, one trip back to the police station and I’m sent to jail.”

Lucy winces. “I know. That’s why I panicked and looked for you right away.” Lucy too peeks into the restaurant, seeing Kara goofing with Lena. “She wasn’t mad at you, right?”

“ _Annem?”_

Lucy blinks slowly. “Kara?”

Alex nods. “She’s my _annem_ , Luce. And no. She isn’t mad. Just worried and upset. She didn’t want me to go to the party and Lena convinced her it was a good idea.”

Lucy looks into the café again, with a raised eyebrow. “She doesn’t look upset with her.”

Alex shrugs. “They made it official last night… or this morning? It’s hazy. They are finally together.”

Lucy shudders. “It doesn’t bother you? Them together?”

“I told you before. Lena is nice.”

“If you say so.”

“I do.” Alex tilts her head to the side. “She’s like Kara… a little more intense when she’s upset with you. She gives great cuddles, tho.”

Lucy snorts. “Only you would cuddle the scary principal.”

Alex narrows her eyes. “Wonder you aren’t calling her Bitch Luthor.”

Lucy’s eyes are open and earnest when she answers, “after seeing her morning hair? I don’t think a name other than Medusa would work.”

Alex just throws a balled-up napkin at her friend.

XxXxX

Kara rubs her hand down Alex’s back, soothing and keeping the girl warm. Alex nuzzles against her chest, sleepily mouthing at the skin above her breasts.

“It was an eventful weekend,” Kara commented lightly, caressing Alex’s side, pouring water on her skin every so often.

Alex hums, she presses closer to her _anne_ and nods slowly.

“You are not going out ever again.”

Alex nibbles on Kara’s collarbone, nodding yet again.

“Easy there, love,” Kara smirks down amused. “No hickeys. I have a girlfriend now.”

Alex whines, wiggling a little, sliding further down Kara’s chest, making the water reach the underside of her breasts.

Kara’s hand shifts to Alex’s hair, combing the damp tresses gently. “Did you have fun with Lucy today?”

Alex nods, her lips softly caressing the new skin.

After lunch, they had all gone to the nearby park and the adults took the time to stroll around while Lucy helped Alex do several courses for her channel. By the end of the day, the GoPro has been dropped several times, the main camera gained a new scratch and both teens were sweaty and in need of food again.

And, of course, Lena and Kara talked plenty about their plans, their dreams, their goals. About their tastes and likes, what make them tick and what are their pet peeves. If they stole kisses here and there, well… only the birds were witnesses of it.

“Thank you, Lexie,” Kara murmurs, keeping her soft petting. “For being a big girl today.”

Alex sighs deeply, nodding again and still mouthing at her skin.

Kara noses Alex’s hair. Alex has gone nonverbal since Lucy crossed the street and Lena climbed in her car to go home. She’d be worried something is wrong, because the only times she’s seen Alex stop talking were times when the kid was too far gone into her despair to talk. But Kara knows today is not the case.

Alex is like a content kitten right now, happy to be held, pet and she’s communicating with Kara… just no with words.

She nods and shakes her head and uses her hands to make her point across, so she’s far from worried.

What’s worrying her, though, is Alex’s suddenly obsession with her skin.

Well, it’s not that she’s worried… it’s just that she didn’t expect it.

But, then again, she never expected Alex to agree to wear diapers and for the girl to start sucking her thumb.

In her research she found several references to breastfeeding and nursing and she’s not ashamed to say she felt her heart swell just thinking of it… she just never, ever, contemplated that it could be a possibility.

If Alex wanted to try it out, she’ll say yes in a heartbeat.

Problem is, Kara doesn’t think Alex is in the right mindset to make that choice right now.

And Alex is really making it seem that she wants it right now.

“ _Minnoş_ ,” Kara coos. “Let’s get out of here, yes?”

Alex whimpers. She shakes her head.

Kara smiles happily. “Up, baby.” She pats the girl’s butt. “Once I rinse you, we can cuddle.”

Alex’s response is to start crying.

“Oh, little Lexie,” Kara sighs. “Today was a hard day, uh?”

Alex nods, rubbing at her eyes.

“Is my little Lexie tired?”

Alex nods again, sobbing softly.

“Then help me getting up, so _anne_ can carry her baby to bed, yes?”

Alex shakes her head.

“Oh? You want to stay here?”

Alex shakes her head again, tears running down her cheeks.

“Then, _minnoş_ , get up.”

Alex shakes her head once again.

Kara nods. “Okay. But we are going to bed.”

Kara gently slides Alex off her lap and the girl instantly tries to latch on her again, putting her arms around Kara’s middle and crying out.

“Oh, love, it’ll be just a second.” Kara caresses Alex’s cheek with her thumb.

Alex’s sobbing is heartbreaking.

“Alex…” Kara Eskimo kisses her and grabs one of Alex’s hands. After kissing her knuckles, Kara presses the girl’s thumb to her mouth, silently asking her to open.

Alex sniffs hard but does as prompted.

Once her thumb is inside her moth the cries lessen and Kara can slide from under the girl, quickly getting up and out the tub.

Alex’s breath hitches. “Shh, baby, just a second.”

She dries herself as quickly as she can and she grabs Alex’s towel, which is big, fluffy, thick and a soft lavender. It’s big enough Alex is swallowed by it and thick enough that Kara can lie the dripping girl on the bed and not have the covers dampened.

It’s a recent purchase, one she’s really happy about.

Kara gathers Alex in her arms, lifting her by the armpits and hugs her to her chest, letting the girl hug her with arms and legs. She sits on the toilet, crying kid on her lap, and quickly dries her too.

Wrapped and a little calmer, Alex is carried to Kara’s room and placed on the bed.

Kara takes her time putting lotion all over Alex. This lotion is also a recent purchase. It’s a baby one and it smells divine and Kara couldn’t think of a better time to try it for the first time. She massages Alex’s muscles as she goes, knowing well enough that all the jumps and leaps and falls Alex did today strained her body.

It’s been too long since Alex last recorded and she doesn’t want Alex to be in pain in the morning.

Uh. Maybe that’s one of the reasons her girl is so tired right now.

Not only did the party debacle messed up her sleeping schedule, she also put her body through motions she hasn’t used in a long while.

Once she’s done with her impromptu massage, she regards Alex with a soft smile.

Her thumb is still in her mouth and her eyes are half closed. Her body is limp and her crying has gone down to faint tears running down her cheeks.

She rubs her tummy gently. “I’m proud of you,” she murmurs. “You are the best girl ever.”

Alex blushes faintly under her gaze.

“I’ll go get dressed, _minnoş_ ,” she says quietly. “Stay put, love.”

Alex nods, barely, and watches Kara do her nightly routine quickly.

When Kara reaches for her top, though, Alex whimpers.

“What’s the matter, baby?” Kara turns to see the naked girl wiggling.

It’s not cold in the room and Kara knows Alex hates the sticky feeling the lotion leaves behind if it doesn’t dry enough before putting on her clothes, so she knows the girl is not protesting for being naked.

Alex makes a grabby hand towards Kara, whining.

Kara drops her top on the bed, going to her girl and sitting by her side. “Hey, what’s the matter?”

She is not expecting that, as soon as she’s close enough, Alex’s hand grabs onto her breast.

Oh.

Okay.

This is new.

“Baby?”

Alex answers by taking her thumb from her mouth and using that hand to press onto her other breast, rising to get her mouth close to her nipple.

Kara sighs, gently pushing her hands away by the wrists. “No, Alex,” she says softly. “Not like this.”

She really wants to provide the comfort her girl wants, she really does, but she also knows they have to talk about it before doing anything.

Alex sobs out at that.

“I know, love… but I need big Alex to tell me it’s okay. I can’t do it otherwise.”

She wouldn’t ever forgive herself if she fucks it up with Alex. She won’t ever take advantage of Alex’s trust and do something that might, potentially, be against what the girl wants in her older headspace.

She won’t.

So, she stands and put on her shirt.

Alex’s sobbing becomes louder and she kicks her legs while Kara puts the diaper on her. With how fussy she’s being, and how warm the night is, Kara forgoes Alex’s top and lets her curl up away from her.

Kara pats her ankle, the only part of Alex that’s close enough to her. “Oh, _minnoş_ ,” Kara sighs. “I’m sorry baby, but we need to talk about that before we do anything.”

She knows its too much to ask for Alex to understand that at the moment, but that’s the truth and she won’t hurt her girl in any way.

Alex turn to face her again, sniffing. She opens her arms for a hug and Kara easily slides next to her, cocooning her shivering form.

Kara starts a low humming, rubbing her hands along Alex’s back. She lets the girl nuzzle her breasts again, taking comfort on that the thin t-shirt is between them.

Alex tugs at her shirt.

“No, _minnoş_ ,” Kara murmurs in her hair.

Alex whimpers.

“I know, baby, but not like this. We can try later if you want.”

Alex cuddles closer, chewing at Kara’s shirt.

Kara sighs.

It’s going to be a long night.

XxXxX

“ _Nice for you to call.”_

Kara groans. “Don’t be like this.”

Nia huffs on the other side of the line. “ _Fine. What happened now?”_

“I don’t always call you just because something happened.”

“ _Sure, Jan. What happened?”_

Kara sighs. “Alex wanted to nurse last night.”

“ _Uh. That’s new.”_

“That’s why I’m calling you.”

Kara can almost hear the ‘I-told-you-so’ in Nia’s tone. _“And what did you do?”_

“I told her no. That we needed to talk before taking that step.”

_“You needed… to talk? With a girl young enough to be wanting to nurse. I can picture how that went.”_

“Please stop it with the ‘you’re stupid’ attitude and help me.”

“ _But you are stupid. Really stupid.”_

“Nia…”

“ _Look. Alex was asking something from you. What? I don’t know, but she thought sucking your bobbies might do the trick. How’s she now?”_

“Subbed. She’s been nonverbal since last night and she’s been just, quiet. She’s been in her room all day.”

_“Is she eating?”_

“She had a shake in the morning, but wouldn’t eat the pancakes.”

“ _And lunch?”_

“Wouldn’t come down when I asked her to.”

“ _You really are stupid.”_

“Hey!”

_“Go fetch her. Feed her, even if it’s only another shake. Your kid is really young right now and you’re acting as if she’s her older self.”_

“Nia… what if she wants her space?”

_“I’m sorry Kara, but I don’t think babies get to have their own space. If they did, they’d die.”_

“But Alex is not a baby.”

_“Right now, she looks like one.”_

“But she is not. I cannot do things like that without her talking to me first.”

_“You spanked her plenty and I doubt she was chatty about that.”_

“That’s different.”

_“How so?”_

“Alex knows why I spank her, she knows what’s happening during the act and what’ll happen after. I never punish her without her knowing why. It’s different.”

_“Still sounds the same to me.”_

“It’s not, Nia.”

_“Look, I’m going to be a pediatric doctor, so I know more of this stuff. AND, I have a friend who has a regressed teen in her hands but is also so stupid she wouldn’t do the proper research on the subject. Follow my advice. Do it, you stupid moron.”_

“Please, stop calling me stupid.”

_“Then stop acting stupid.”_

And with that, Nia hangs up.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the direct continuation from last chapter, y'all.
> 
> Reading your comments, guys, make my day, and help me learn how people see the characters I'm writing.
> 
> So, thank you so much for it!!!

Kara enters the room with a sport bottle in hand.

What she sees confirms that, yes, she is stupid, but not for the reasons Nia said.

No.

She’s stupid because she was so lost in her own worry, she forgot Alex needs her.

She forgot Alex is hurting too.

Alex is curled up under the bed, only one of her feet is seen from her spot at the door.

Kara though Alex was keeping quiet and that she was simply playing on her own. She didn’t hear any crying or distress coming from the room, so she assumed everything was alright.

And it’s evident it’s not.

She shuffles closer to the bed and her chest squeezes when Alex’s foot quickly disappears under the bed.

Kara sits on the edge of it, near where she thinks Alex’s head might be. “Lexie,” she calls quietly. “I’m sorry.”

She can hear Alex shuffling beneath the bed and there’s a small part of her that spares a thought on whether she vacuumed there this week or if Alex is sharing her space with dust bunnies.

“I’m sorry, _minnoş_ ,” she says again. “I’ve been pretty bad at taking care of you.”

Alex whines from under the bed, maybe in confirmation… for the first time in a long while she’s not sure.

“Do you think you could come out?” She keeps her voice quiet and steady.

Nia might say trying to talk with Alex this young is pointless… but Kara’s been talking with Alex ever since she met the girl and then Kara was eleven and Alex three… and Alex has always listened to her and understood her.

There’s no way her Alex would change.

“I want to say sorry, baby. I messed up.”

There’s some more ruffling under her and a small sneeze.

Well, that answers the dust bunnies’ dilemma.

And it lets Kara know that at least Alex’s not crying.

“I want to hold your hand and hug you… but I can’t do that with you under the bed.”

Alex’s hand peeks out and Kara smiles softly when Alex gently squeezes the air.

Baby Alex always did that when she first started living with the Henshaws… it was her strange way of giving comfort when touching was a no.

Even at a really young age, Alex understood that somedays Kara couldn’t be touched… she’s always been smart.

Ever since she was three, Alex understood boundaries.

Kara will be damned if she somehow breaks one of Alex’s own boundaries by accident.

“Thank you, baby… but, do you think I could hug you? I want to feel you, please.”

The hand stops squeezing and disappears under the bed.

Kara sighs.

“I miss my baby,” she tries. “And I know I hurt her… do you think she’ll forgive me?”

There’s more ruffling and then silence and Kara wonders, not for the first time, when did Alex start hiding under beds.

What did she miss?

“I brought you a shake, love,” she admits defeat. She knows she messed up and that Alex will eventually come out. Hopefully. “It’s strawberry and honey, your favorite.”

She sets the bottle besides the bed, where she knows Alex will see it.

“I’m going to be downstairs, in the studio. I’m leaving the door open.” She stands and crosses the room to the door. “And I’ll be very grateful if you come down with me too.”

There’s no movement at all from under the bed.

“I love you, Alex,” she says softly before leaving the room.

XxXxX

It takes three hours for Alex to show up.

Three hours in which Kara tried to focus on editing anything.

Three hours in which she kept wondering if Alex would be alright after all this.

Three hours worrying the girl had not eaten all day.

Three hours biting on her thumbnail, stopping herself from bodily removing Alex from under the bed.

Because Nia is wrong.

No matter what’s going on, Kara should respect Alex’s space.

Kara is the adult in the relationship and she would never, ever, force Alex to do something she doesn’t want.

Like pulling her from under the bed.

Like force feeding her if she doesn’t want to eat.

Like making her speak when she’s not ready.

Like letting her nurse when Kara isn’t sure it’s just something born in the moment and instinctual, or something the girl will balk at after.

Nia is wrong.

Alex is not a baby… she’s never really been. She had to learn to survive so young and it’s Kara’s duty to make sure she can stop surviving and start living and part of that is talking with her and not ignoring her wishes like all adults always do.

Both Kara and Alex know what’s to be forced to do something you don’t want, something you are not ready for…

And Kara will never be that person to Alex.

Kara will always look for her consent.

Alex shows up after three hours.

In her hand is the bottle, still full and she’s rubbing at her eye.

Kara briefly notices the girl missed her nap.

Her hair is all over the place and her clothes are rumpled.

Kara has no idea how long Alex was under the bed.

She is barefoot, like always and that’s cute… but it’s not cute how her crotch is wet and there’s the barely there smell of urine coming from her.

Kara smiles sadly. “Hey, baby.”

Alex shuffles closer, still rubbing at her eye. She points at her crotch.

“Yes, I see, love. You had an accident.”

Alex nods.

“Can I change you?”

Alex nods again, opening her arms for Kara and letting herself be carried to the bathroom.

Right now is not a bath kind of time, it’s not even a quick sower kind of time, so Kara quickly undresses Alex and rinses the pee with the handheld shower.

She makes a note of moving the bed tomorrow and clean the carpet.

She also makes a note of putting Alex in pull-ups during the day if this ever happens again.

She carries the girl back to her bedroom, happy to notice the smell isn’t as bad as she expected and she’s quick to diaper the girl. When Alex whines at having a t-shirt put over her head, Kara relents and lets the girl just be in her diapers.

This whole time Alex never dropped her sport bottle.

Kara takes them then to her own room, sitting on the bed and wondering if investing in a rocking chair would be wise.

She also wonders why her mind always wanders when she’s stressed.

“Are you thirsty, love?” she asks in a murmur, letting Alex curl on her lap.

Alex nods.

“Do you think you can drink your shake?”

Alex shakes her head then. She uses both her hands and shows Kara how, no matter how much she twists and pulls and shakes, she cannot pop the top.

Kara feels like such a failure.

“Oh, baby,” she kisses the top of her head, tears stinging at her eyes. “I’m sorry… I didn’t think.”

She takes the bottle from her, easily taking the top off and, just for good measure, she makes sure the tip is also open so Alex can drink.

And drink does the girl.

She rests her head over Kara’s breast as she gently sucks on the shake, her eyes dropping and her breathing getting slower.

Kara hugs her close, using her thumb to trace shapes over Alex’s brows and her other hand gently pats on her bottom.

“I love you,” Kara murmurs. “I love you so much.”

Alex sighs softly, still suckling.

“I never want to hurt you,” Kara continues. “I never want to hurt you.”

Alex’s eyes open at that and they are open and honest and… trusting and Kara can’t help but sob at that.

Kara presses a kiss to her forehead, just between Alex’s eyebrows and she sighs into her skin. “You are my _bebeğim_. My _minnoş_. My _kızım_. My love. My everything.”

Alex blinks slowly, humming.

Kara chuckles wetly.

Nia is wrong.

Alex hears her.

Alex understands.

Alex knows.

She knows.

XxXxX

“Do I really need to voice it?”

Kara smiles and hugs Alex to her chest.

It took Alex drinking the shake and taking a nap for her to bounce back to an older mindset. Kara knows enough to think Alex won’t be her sixteen years old self for a while, but at least she knows tween Alex is here and Kara can discuss stuff with tween Alex.

“It’d make me feel better, yes.”

Alex sighs, long suffering. “ _Anne_ ,” she whines.

Kara chuckles, combing Alex’s hair out her face. “ _Kız_ ,” she calls back.

Alex crossed her arms, not amused.

It’d be a more serious look if she wasn’t naked and in the middle of a bath.

Kara rubs her hand down Alex’s back. “Remember it’s just me. Your _annen._ You can talk to me…”

“S‘mbarrasing,” Alex mumbles.

“It doesn’t need to be.”

“’M not a baby,” Alex says dejectedly.

“No. You are not a baby _right now._ I think you were a little younger not that long ago.”

Alex scrunches up her nose. “It won’t happen again.”

Kara shakes her head. “No, don’t be like that. If you feel good being so little, then be that little.”

Alex uses her hands to pop some on the bubbles that are around them. “… it’s too much.”

“Too much?”

Alex looks up, with a little frown. She bites her lower lip. “It’s too much trouble.”

Oh. “You think it’s too bothersome for me to take care of you like that?”

Alex nods.

“Oh, Lexie.” Kara peppers Alex’s face in kisses. “You’ll never be too much. Never a burden.”

Alex giggles, even if she’s still too preoccupied with their talk to really be jolly. “ _Anne! Hayır!”_

Kara nuzzles her cheek. “I love you.”

Alex pecks her lips, burrowing closer. “Love you more.”

Kara pokes her side. “Love you most.”

Alex squeaks at the ticklish sensation.

“So… you are not a burden,” Kara says gently, cuddling her girl closer again. “If it helps, I can tell you I’m curious.”

Alex blinks up, her mouth hanging open just a little.

“… what?”

Kara can’t help but blush. No matter how much she’s encouraging Alex and how much she is in for open communication, admitting her wishes while naked in a tub with the girl sitting in her lap is still a little embarrassing. “I’m curious about trying breastfeeding.”

Alex flushes back. She looks down and instantly averts her eyes when her gaze falls on Kara’s breasts.

“… if we don’t like it?” Alex mumbles.

“Then we stop. Just like can stop anything you don’t like the moment you say so…”

“I don’t like broccoli.”

“… within reason, of course.” Alex pouts. “So, don’t ever worry about it.”

“What if I like it and you don’t?” Alex questions then.

“What if _I_ like it and _you_ don’t? Kara counters.

“We stop,” Alex says dutifully what Kara has been teaching her all this time. If there’s something Alex doesn’t like, they stop immediately.

So, of course it also goes the other way around.

“Exactly. We are in this together, okay?”

Alex nods.

“So? What do you want?”

“ _Bebek_ wants you,” Alex says simply. “She wants to try.”

Kara doesn’t comment on how Alex refers to her littlest self, she simply smiles. “And we can totally try.”

Alex’s blush returns at that. “… when?”

“Whenever you want, baby.”

Alex’s thumb goes to her mouth, nibbling on the tip. “Dunno.”

Kara can almost feel the change happening on Alex.

Kara brushes Alex’s bangs out of the way so she can stare on her baby’s eyes. “Hi, Lexie,” she murmurs.

Alex’s thumb goes firmly into her mouth. “Hi,” she murmurs back.

“Lets get out of here and into bed, yeah?”

Alex nods. “Otay.”

XxXxX

Kara’s breathing is deep and measured.

She’s resting against the headboard, the upper part of her body comfortably nestled against her pillows. She’s bared from the waist up and Alex’s head is comfortably on Kara’s breast.

Alex own breathing is deep and easy. She’s gently sucking her thumb and her eyes are barely open.

Kara’s hand gently caresses Alex’s side, keeping the calm around them.

“ _Anne?”_ Alex slurs around her thumb.

“Mmm?”

“Can I…?”

Kara smiles. Her hand goes from Alex’s side to the girl’s cheek, dancing her fingers there gently. “Whenever you are ready.”

Alex lets go of her thumb and her hand comes to rest over Kara’s stomach, her thumb idly tracing the swell of her bellybutton and making Kara shiver.

“ _Anne?”_

“I’m good, love.”

Alex nods to herself. She nuzzles the breast before her, nosing the soft skin and mentally thanking Kara for not putting lotion tonight.

Alex’s thumb always tastes gross after Kara rubs lotion on her hands.

Kara’s hand switches places again, tangling on Alex’s hair and gently nudging her. “It’s okay, _bebek_ ,” she whispers. “It’s okay.”

Alex sighs and closes her eyes, leaving a kiss on the side of Kara’s breast before latching tentatively.

Kara’s eyes open wide at the sensation. She’s not unfamiliar with a pair of lips around her nipple, but this feels entirely different.

There’s no tongue lapping at her skin, just a timid pressure against the underside of the nipple.

There’s no teeth scratching, just soft lips gently holding the mouth in place.

The moment Alex sucks for the first time will forever be imprinted in her memory.

There’s no rush to her sucking, no real pull. Just a tiny… something… that Alex’s is doing that makes Kara burst.

She can’t explain it, not really. It’s not uncomfortable… but not also something she can say she loves right away. No. It takes time for her body to understand what’s happening but it’s only a matter of seconds before she can feel her whole body relax.

It’s not pleasurable, god, no… but it sends a wave of calmness all over her body. A calmness that forms a tiny ball in her heart and Kara can honestly say that, for once in a really long time, she’s tranquil.

Nothing exists beyond this moment.

There’s nothing but the gently push of Alex’s tongue.

There’s nothing but the soft hold of her lips.

There’s nothing but the easy pulling from the sucking.

There’s nothing but a barely-there puff of breath against her skin.

There’s nothing but Alex.

She closes her eyes.

This is better than she imagined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.
> 
> That happened.
> 
> Remember the two of them have issues they need to work through and they are both stunned in certain areas. They are trying to do their best, tho.
> 
> Turkish used in here:
> 
>  _bebeğim_ is 'my baby'  
>  _bebek_ is 'baby'  
>  _kızım_ is 'my kid' or 'my daugther'  
>  _kız_ is 'kid' or 'daugther'  
>  _Hayır_ is 'no'
> 
> Have a lovely time!!!
> 
> oh! Question!
> 
> Lucy: should she be a little in the future? or nah? I'm undecided... however the answer ends up being, she won't be as little as Alex... maybe a tween or older kid, but not as little as Lexie.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, sorry.
> 
> Monday was a hellish day and I couldn't muster the mindpower to try and update.
> 
> Then, mmy computer decided to nope out and I just got her going. Her name's Charlize, if anyone was wondering. Was getting ready for a digital burial, but she came back!!!

Alex sits heavily next to Lucy at the cafeteria table.

The fallout from the party is still seen around.

Most of the football team is in probation, as all of them were detained that night and surprisingly, Lena had nothing to do with it.

Lena knew of the party and saw the aftermath of it first hand, but just like she told Lucy, she was off duty and she didn’t scold anyone over it.

No.

The penalty came from the Parent’s Association.

Apparently, the Catholic moms couldn’t bear with the knowledge that their star kids were into that kind of fun.

The senior cheerleaders were also grounded from the games until further notice, the only exceptions being, of course, Lucy and Sara, who Alex helped escape, and Barry and Iris who skipped the party in order to go hook up.

Even Oliver was caught in the mess.

And Kate, well, Kate is the only soccer player not involved in any punishment.

The mood around the cafeteria, and the school in general, is gloomy.

“We are going to Knott's Berry Farm next Saturday” Alex says happily, bursting the depressive bubble around the table and ignoring Lucy’s companions.

Lucy startles. She blinks. “What are you doing here? Don’t you have a lunch date already?”

“Telling you we are going to Knott Berry’s… and she has a meeting with the board.”

“Who is we?”

“You and I.”

Oliver scoffs from where he’s sitting across Lucy.

Alex narrows her eyes at him. “Something the matter, pretty boy?”

He scowls and Kate, sitting next to him, elbows him in the gut. “He is mad you didn’t bust him at the party too,” she explains with a shrug.

Alex’s head tilts to the side. “Sorry,” she says honestly. “You weren’t with them and it was a rush job.”

It’s Oliver’s time to blink slowly. “O-Okay, I guess,” he mutters confused.

Kate snorts and even Sara chuckles at that. Iris and Barry, like always, are nowhere to be seen.

Lucy shakes her head and turns back to Alex. “Why are you asking me?” she questions. “Your _annen_ hates me right now.”

Lucy was, as expected, not grounded or punished in any form over the party. Neither her dad nor Lois found out, after all…

Although Kara spent a good hour lecturing her and instilling the fear of god in her before letting her go home for good that night Saturday.

Alex shakes her head. “She doesn’t hate you. She was just worried.”

“Uh,” Lucy hums confused. “Okay.”

“Hey!” Kate butts in with a quirked eyebrow. “Aren’t we invited?”

Alex’s eyes narrow, contemplating the lot.

She doesn’t care for Oliver, honestly, and the boy doesn’t care for her either, but ever since the party two weeks ago, Kate and Sara have gone out their way to say hello to her and to try and engage in conversation in the two classes she shares with them.

Maggie has been more talkative too and they now spend their art period chatting and working and Alex thinks maybe she has a new friend but maybe it’s too soon for that yet.

Lena was right. The party sucked and she ended up fleeing from the police, but she came out strengthening her ties with Lucy and with a friend in Maggie… and if those two keep it up, maybe a friend in Sara and Kate too.

Alex shrugs. “Sure, but I’ll be recording all day. So if you end up on YouTube famous, it’s not on me _.”_

Sara whistles. “You weren’t kidding when you said you have a YouTube channel, then?”

Alex vaguely remembers Sara is in her homeroom, or what it was her homeroom, as now she’s working as Lena’s PA voice.

“No,” she says. “ _Annem_ and I live off YouTube.”

Kate’s brow furrow. “Who is she, anyway?” she asks what’s probably in the mind of the people that’s not in the known.

Kate and Sara remember the blonde that forced dropped them home that night and they’ve talked about her with Oliver, Barry and Iris plenty. They are all really curious how the scary blonde, who apparently knows the scry principal, is related to skittish Alex.

Alex’s nose scrunches up but it’s Lucy who answers. “I told you guys, she’s her mom.”

And maybe Alex didn’t give her friend credit enough once, but when Lucy asked her about Kara’s new title, she hadn’t flinched or was grossed out about it at all. She was just curious about why she wouldn’t simply call Kara ‘mom’ and had to make things complicated giving her an foreing title.

Sara frowns. “Isn’t she… too young?”

“And she’s dating Luthor?” adds Kate.

Alex shrugs. “I’m adopted,” she explains as easily as she can. She won’t go divulge her family life to strangers after all. “And they are a new item.”

Sara looks like she wants to say something, but Kate elbows her. “That’s pretty dope,” Kate says. “Isn’t it weird, though? Your mom dating the principal?”

Alex shrugs. “Lena is different at home,” she explains as much as she’s willing to.

Lucy quirks an eyebrow at her friend, but remains silent. Miss Luthor is indeed different, but still as scary and stern looking.

“So, we’ll go to Knott Berry’s this Saturday?”

Alex nods to Kate. “Yeah. I have six free tickets.”

Lucy blinks slowly, staring at her. “What were you doing with the other four?”

“More importantly,” Kate butts in. “Where did you get them?”

“Sponsors _,_ ” Alex answers Kate as if that was answer enough. And it is.

_Anne_ often gets free tickets and invites all over National City so it was pretty dope to open her inbox last night and see she has six no-wait-in-line tickets for Saturday. In exchange, she’ll record a video highlighting the best of this year’s Scary Farm.

It’s a sweet deal, if anyone asks Alex.

She gets to ride rollercoasters almost for free.

Kate looks at her expectantly, waiting for more.

Alex looks at her back, serenely.

Lucy chuckles. “She won’t give you more than that,” she says around a bite of her apple.

Kate glowers and Alex smiles brightly at her like the little shit she can be sometimes.

It’s fun ruffling Kate’s feathers.

“I’ll go,” Sara announces.

“Me too,” Kata grumbles, still itching for something more juicy than ‘sponsors.’

Alex looks at Oliver, an eyebrow raised.

He shakes his head. “Thanks, but we have detention Saturday.”

Alex scrunches up her nose at that. “Sorry.”

Oliver just shrugs.

Lucy nudges Alex. “What were you going to do with the other four tickets if these losers hadn’t decided to tag along?”

“… did I have to do anything with them?”

Lucy shakes her head. “You are impossible.”

Alex shrugs.

“Wait,” Sara chimes in. “Are we dressing up?”

“Dressing up?”

“Yeah,” Sara answers Lucy. “Scary Farm starts this week. We should dress up.”

Lucy’s eyes widen and her gaze goes immediately to Alex. “Wait… Scary Farm?”

Alex nods. “Yeah. It’s part of the deal. I gotta record and promo it.”

Lucy’s eyes narrow and that’s the time the bell decided to ring.

They all rise and rush to exit the cafeteria, Lucy trashing the rest of her apple on the way. Before they can part ways, though, she grabs Alex’s arm and marches her to the bathroom.

“Luce! We are gonna be late!”

Lucy pushes Alex against the wall, preventing her from moving away. “Alex!” she hisses. “Scary Farm?”

Alex blinks at Lucy, idly noticing that Lucy is just a little taller when she’s wearing her cheerleader shoes. “What?”

“Alex… remind me how long did it take for the nightmares to stop after our movie night?”

Alex tilts her head to the side. “It’s different.”

“How can it be? We were going to be in the mist of one of the scariest events this side of the continent!”

“But, you’ll be there,” Alex says as if that’s just what makes everything alright.

And in her mind, it does.

Lucy will be there, and Lucy is brave and doesn’t flinch at the scary parts in the horror movies so she won’t flinch at the park.

Alex also intends on having Lucy do the filming around the really scary parts.

But Lucy looks actually worried, so she voices her thoughts.

“You are dumb,” Lucy deadpans once she’s given the plan for the day.

“Why?”

“The whole park transforms into one scary house,” she explains. “There are not ‘scary parts’, the whole place is a scary part!”

“But the rides!”

“Look. Apparently, we share a single brain cell between us and it’s my turn to host it. Alex, this is a really bad idea. You’ll freak out the moment you set foot in there.”

Alex lower lip jots out and starts wobbling. “But the rides!”

Lucy can feel her resolve crumbling.

Why does Alex have to look like a kicked puppy?

“Does your _annen_ knows we are going?”

Lucy might still be a little scared of Kara and she really doesn’t want to chance making her mad.

“… she knows I’m hanging out with you. She has a date with Lena so she’ll be busy,” she adds, making her eyes go wide and glassy. “Please.”

Lucy sighs. That’s a small blessing. “This is an awful idea.”

Alex beams, perfectly understanding why Lucy is suddenly so gloomy. “So, we are going?”

Lucy sighs again. “We are going. But your _annen_ will not know anything about it, or else, she’ll have our behinds.”

Alex nods solemnly. Lucy is not only brave.

No. Lucy’s a genius.

XxXxX

Kara takes the last sip of her beer. “Alex is planning something.”

“Oh, you noticed it too?”

Their Friday dinners are still going strong, but today is slightly different as Alex decided to go over to Lucy’s after her nap instead of spending time with her favorite adults.

“It’s pretty obvious,” Lena nods. “She’s been dropping lunch before rushing out all week and she’s been fidgety.”

Kara nods back. “She keeps texting at all times and she’s spent more at Lucy’s this week than all the time they’ve known each other.”

Even little Lexie is acting weird. She keeps murmuring into Fluffy’s ear and giggling when she thinks Kara isn’t looking.

At least Alex is still following her routines and she doesn’t leave the house before finishing her homework.

Lena takes a sip of her beer. “Do you think she’s jealous?” she asks with not a little caution.

Kara blinks. “Of what?”

Lena motions the small space that’s between them on the couch.

“Oh.” Kara chuckles. “No. Jealous Alex is devious Alex. No. This one is just plain naughty.”

Lena’s eyebrow quirks at that. “Why do I feel there’s a story there?”

Kara steals Lena’s beer and takes a sip. “More than one.”

“Oh. Do share.”

Kara snorts, passing the beer back. “You know Nia and I dated, right?”

“Uh-huh. Haven’t met her yet, by the way.”

“And you won’t any time soon. She’s pissed at me.”

“Still insisting on therapy?”

“Yeah.”

“I think she’s right,” Lena adds her two cents.

“I know.”

They lapse into silence for a couple of minutes.

“You haven’t talked with her about it.”

“I haven’t,” Kara mutters, looking away. She promised the older woman to have that talk with Alex sometime soon, to let Alex decide if wants therapy or not.

But she hadn’t.

And here is where Lena will get angry at her for not taking action. This is the moment when Lena will realize that Kara is not often willing to face difficult situations and that doing so takes such a toll on her she really can’t do it often.

She’s still recuperating after the nursing discussion she had with Alex.

And here is where Lena will leave and tell her to fuck off.

She doesn’t think Lena will call social services, so she at least won’t fret over that.

What she doesn’t expect is for Lena’s hand to rest on her knee and squeeze.

“Hey,” the older woman says gently. “Why did you close up?”

Kara turns to look at her with a small frown. “You are not angry.”

Lena’s head tilts to the side in a move that Kara recognizes as Alex’s. She wonders when the brunette picked it up. “Why would I be?”

“… I haven’t spoken to Alex yet.”

Lena smiles tenderly. “I know it’s hard for you too. And I know Alex is safe and happy, so it’s not really a pressing matter. I’d like for her to know her options soon, of course, but I wouldn’t be mad at you over something like that.”

Kara’s shoulders slump. “You’ll get mad eventually.”

Lena hums, recognizing that this is something that is deeper than Kara just thinking she might be angry. “Why would I?”

Kara shrugs. “I never take action and let things fester,” she parrots what Nia often tells her. What her own therapist always hinted at.

“And why would you do that?”

Kara looks deep into Lena’s eyes. “Sometimes it’s hard.”

Lena leans forwards, resting her forehead against Kara. “It is. And that’s why, just by trying, you are doing your best.”

Kara laughs bitterly at that. “I’m not even trying.”

“You are. Just by toying with the idea, you are. Now, do you want Alex to go to therapy, yes or no?” Lena changes the subject, knowing it’s neither the time nor the place do delve into the complications that are Kara’s own issues. They are also slightly drunk and she doesn’t feel capable of dealing with such festering wounds. Yet.

She’ll come back to them later.

Preferably once their relationship is stronger.

Kara blinks, not expecting the change of topic. “No,” she answers honestly.

“But you understand it’s her choice and not yours, right?”

Kara nods. “Yes, I do.” She takes a deep breath. “If she wants to, I won’t tell her no. if she doesn’t, I’ll support her.”

“… and you know it’ll help better the sooner she starts, right? If she decides to go, of course.”

It takes a moment, but eventually, Kara answers, “yes.”

“Then… would you like it better if I was to speak to her then? You can avoid the talk if you want and she’ll know her options.”

Kara blinks at that, confused. “What?”

“I can speak to her, Kara. You don’t have to.”

This… this is the first time ever someone offers to talk to Alex on her behalf.

No one before had offered Kara the choice of not facing a hard talk.

Not Nia, who always pushes Kara to talk, even when she doesn’t want to or doesn’t feel capable of.

Not James, who would rather joke around and skirt the touchy subjects with vague answers and vaguer feelings.

Not Winn, who as much as Kara loves, was always so into his own mind he barely saw the rest of them.

Not Sam, who joined their group too late and always felt like she was too new to impose.

And certainly not Ms. Henshaw, who actually forced Kara to talk. Who forced Kara into therapy. Who forced her to face what she hates the most: situations in which she feels powerless and optionless.

Lena is the first person that is willing to do the hard work for her.

“Would you do that?” Kara asks in a mumble.

Lena nods. “Of course. I can talk to her tomorrow or Monday.”

Kara launches at Lena, hugging her tight by the neck. “Thank you,” she whispers. “Thank you.”

Lena smiles and hugs her back. “It’s my pleasure, love.”

Kara hums wetly at that.

Love, uh?

It’s been too long since she heard that directed towards herself.

It makes her feel warm and content.

“Now,” Lena says, shifting their positions so she can lay against the couch’s armrest with Kara reclined on her. “Tell me about jealous Alex.”

Kara snorts and chuckles. “Oh, gurl… get ready for a wild ride.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the consensus of the Lucy debate was that Lucy should join their family, but not as a little, or at least not as little as Alex.
> 
> Me planning on making her a young tween sometimes, specially if she gets babied alongside Alex... but yeah. She'll be joining in the fry at some point :)


	36. Chapter 36

Today was a good day.

Lena and Kara woke up together after the blonde insisted Lena drank too much to be driving home the night before and who was Lena to go against a brilliant idea?

Of course, the fact that every time Lena shows up at the Zorel-Danvers household she stays the night didn’t factor in that decision at all.

After a good morning snuggle, and after calming a distraught Kara over Alex leaving the house before they even woke up, they started what could be considered their official first date.

Lena treated Kara to breakfast at Noona’s and then they went to NC Art Museum to see this limited showing of the greatest gowns in history that Kara has been gushing about (Lena’s idea) and then they ended up the day by strolling around Venice Beach (Kara’s idea).

It was simple, sweet and comfortable. Lena loved it.

She loved watching the minuscule changes in Kara’s face as she inspected the gowns. She loved interlacing their fingers together as they shared a vanilla cone. She loved trying to steal the last sticky bun as Kara mock growled. She loved watching the sunset from the deck, safely snugged in Kara’s arms.

It was lovely.

And it, of course, ended with her sleeping in Kara’s bed, again.

And this time it ended up with them doing the horizontal tango… which, she has to say, was one of the best times she’s ever had.

Lena didn’t know a tongue can do those things.

And even if she hadn’t had sex with Kara, Lena would’ve spent the night. She likes sleeping next the younger woman, even when Kara sometimes is just silly. Endearing, but silly.

Kara is always chivalrous and insist on them sleeping at opposite sides of the bed… and of course, they always wake up tangled in each other. Lena has missed that kind of familiarity, the one that comes with months of dating and that apparently Kara and she had developed in just a handful of weeks.

It’s amazing, how no matter what, Kara is cuddly in her sleep.

But it can get hot.

And that’s why she wakes in the middle of the night, sweaty, with half of a naked Kara draped across her chest and thirsty as fuck.

It takes a little wiggling and a little maneuvering and little mumbled curses, but Lena manages to slide from under Kara, into her pajamas from last night and out the room. She climbs down the stairs in darkness, just a little moonlight that filters from the front windows showing her the way. In she goes to the kitchen and she’s soon drinking from Alex’s milk straight out the carton.

It is strange, she muses, this familiarity that she’s developed around them.

At school, is easy to banter with Alex and it’s easier to always keep an eye on her, making sure her connection to Lena doesn’t cause any trouble with her peers. It’s comfortable sharing jokes with the girl, and she doesn’t think she’s ever had this kind of relationship with anyone younger than her.

It kind of reminds her of her easy relationship with Lex, but he is ten years older than her, so it’s also very different.

And don’t get her started on the protectiveness she feels over Alex. Please, don’t.

She’s admitted to herself since before her first serious talk with Kara that Alex is someone to protect and cherish. Alex is simply too pure and too lovable and Lena often dreams of wrapping the girl in silk and hiding her away in a tower.

She teases Kara over how much she babies Alex, but honestly, if given the chance, she’d do it too.

And Alex gravitates to her so much that it’s really hard for Lena not to steal her away.

If she stops to think about it, she knows it’s weird and not a little concerning for her to be having those feelings… so she tries not to think and simply be in the moment.

It’s worked amazingly so far so she’ll keep doing it.

Taking a last sip of the milk and, because she’s that kind of person sometimes, leaving just enough of the milk to warrant the carton going back into the fridge and not the trash, she turns to head to bed again and she sees it.

Kara’s studio is just off the side the kitchen, its door hidden from view if one comes from the living room by a weird column everybody that’s seen it thinks is useless, yet from the kitchen the door’s easily visible. It’s is closed, just it’s always closed, but, opposed to many other times Lena’s been in this house, there’s a silver of faint light coming out the crack between door and floor.

Lena blinks slowly.

Kara is in bed, she just left her there.

Alex is in bed, absolutely exhausted from whatever Lucy and she did during the day.

The hairs in the back of her neck bristle and shiver runs down her spine.

And so, because she sometimes is that kind of person, Lena grabs a knife from the drawer and approaches the door slowly.

She presses an ear to the wood, trying to listen and see if she can make out how many people are on the other side.

What she hears, however, is a small sniff, followed by shuffling and a little voice that sounds so familiar.

This is not what she expected.

She lets the knife on the counter by the side, and knocks softly. “Alex?”

In the silence of the night, there’s a little more shuffling, just a tad louder, and then, silence.

Lena tries the doorknob, turning it and pushing the door open. “Alex?”

The light on Kara’s vanity is on, the tiny one that the blonde uses to prep for shooting, not the brighter one she uses for the tutorials. Other than that, the room is in darkness.

Lena looks around. There are long shadows all around, created by the tripods and stands and flashes, so it takes a moment to register the small figure curled up in the corner, nestled just so between the vanity and the wall.

Alex’s arms are around her head, knees to her chest and she’s shaking.

Lena rushes to her, making Alex whimper and jump in alarm.

“Oh, sweetie,” Lena says softly, slowing her moments as she crunches down before the girl. “Lexie, what’s wrong?”

Alex just whimpers again, curling further into her corner.

Lena reaches with a gentle and touches, barely, one of Alex’s knees, making her flinch. “Lexie,” she calls in a whisper. “What’s the matter? Are you hurt?”

Alex just trembles all over, pressing harder on her head with her arms.

Lena frowns, biting her lip. She nods to herself. “Okay, I’ll get your _annen_.” She’s about to stand, when a tiny whimper stops her. “No? Lexie? Why not?” she asks, confused.

Alex is always wanting Kara.

Why would she not right now?

Alex shakes her head, repeating, “no.”

Lena sighs. “Okay, okay.” She regards the girl closely.

Alex doesn’t look hurt, just shaken. There’s no visible blood and the way Alex keeps making herself into a really small ball hints of no pain… so, maybe she can relax, just a little.

“Can I sit with you?” Lena asks after a moment.

Alex doesn’t respond, so Lena takes that as a yes and sits against the wall. From here, the room seems bigger and the shadows longer.

Lena sits just out of touch from Alex, cross-legged and letting the silently sobbing girl be.

After what feels like a small eternity, Alex whispers brokenly. “Lee?”

“I’m here, sweetie.”

Alex looks up from where she was hiding her face against her knees. “You here.”

Lena has to fight off a frown at how odd she said those words. She smiles. “Yes, babygirl. I’m here.”

Alex scrambles to her knees and launches to Lena. She hugs the older woman by the neck, sitting on her lap and hiding her face in Lena’s hair. She sobs louder and she squeezes Lena hard.

Lena, surprised, just hugs the girl to her, burying her hand in Alex’s long traces and her other rubs on the girl’s back just like Kara has seen do several times.

“Lee…” Alex whimpers.

Lena hugs Alex tightly, pressing the girl to her as close as she can. “I’m here, sweetie. Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

Alex trembles harder and sobs out, “clowns.”

Lena blinks owlish at that.

Clowns.

Clowns?

Lena starts scratching Alex’s scalp. “Did you have a nightmare?” she asks gently, when she thinks Alex has calm down a little bit.

Alex nods timidly.

“Oh, angel,” Lena coos. “You dreamt of clowns?”

Alex nods again.

“There are no clowns here,” she consoles the girl.

Alex shakes her head. With a trembling hand, she points towards Kara’s work table.

Lena has to crane her neck to follow the finger and then she winces.

There, pinned to the corkboard on the wall, is, indeed a small college of clown pictures.

The corkboard is not visible from the door, but Lena thinks that, given Alex’s position when she found her, the girl easily saw it. The light around them is not helping at all, making the pictures look gloomier and darker than they really are. There are also a handful of harlequin pictures thrown in there and those, paired with the light, give Lena chills.

Lena faintly remembers that Kara said something about a clown cosplay tutorial, now that Halloween is so close.

Of course Kara must be doing research of some sort.

“Sweetie,” Lena says gently. “Those are pictures. They are not real.”

Alex whimpers, shaking her head. “Scary.”

Lena smiles sadly. “Yes, they look scary. But they won’t hurt you.” She noses Alex’s hair, idly smelling the soft floral scent it has.

She’s noticed that in their bathroom there are a lot of kid’s products, so she guesses the pleasant smell comes from one of them.

Alex shakes her head again. “They real.”

Lena hums. She gets a feeling she won’t convince Alex that the clowns are not going to get her.

So, she switches tactics.

“I promise you’re safe,” Lena murmurs quietly. “I’m here and I won’t let them hurt you.”

Lena can almost feel in her own bones when Alex relaxes against her completely, lax from letting out all the tension from her body. “Pwomise?” she mumbles.

Lena frowns slightly at the slurring, but she nods. “Promise.”

Alex presents her with her fist, just her pinky sticking out in a silent question.

Lena smiles fondly at that, interlacing her own pinky with Alex’s.

Alex sighs deeply, shifting on Lena’s lap, sliding down just a little in order to rest her head on Lena’s shoulder. She blinks heavily and one of her hands starts playing with soft raven hair.

Lena lets her change positions, cradling the girl so she’s sitting more comfortably sideways on her lap. The floor is hard on her ass, but she’ll stay put as long as Alex demands it, even if the girl’s own ass is hot against her lap and it feel heavier than usual.

She grabs Alex’s hand, the one not playing with her hair, and squeezes gently. “Why are you out of bed?” she questions softly. “Why are you down here?”

Alex nuzzles on Lena collarbone. “Krypto,” she answers just as softly.

Lena’s eyebrows raise at that. “Krypto?” She receives a nod. “Kara’s dog?” Another nod. “Why?” she asks, perplexed.

“He safe.”

Uh?

“He’s safe?”

Alex shakes her head, huffing annoyed. “He safe.”

Lena blinks. Didn’t she say that? “He… keeps you safe?” she tries.

Alex nods before squeaking out a small yawn.

Lena has to stop an ‘aww’ at that. “It’s late, babygirl,” she comments. “Let’s go to bed, okay?”

Alex’s eyes go wide. “No leave,” she asks with a small whine.

Lena leaves a small kiss on Alex’s forehead. “Want me to sleep with you?” she asks, as if that was the most normal thing to say.

As if sleeping in the same bed as one of her students, an underage student, was the norm.

But… she is Alex. She is Kara’s kid. She is a scared girl that needs comfort.

But, more importantly, she is _Alex_.

Alex nods. “Ye.”

Lena nods back. “Okay, then.” She pats Alex’s leg. “Up, then, so we can head to bed.”

Alex dutifully climbs to her feet, making sure not to look at the scary clowns. “Krypto,” she requests.

Lena follows her up, shaking one leg that fell asleep. She looks around the room, trying to find the white dog. She spots him… just beneath the corkboard.

Of course.

She retrieves him quickly, handing him to Alex. She guides the girl towards the door, making sure to keep her body between the clowns and Alex.

Once Alex is out the room, she rushes back in to turn off the light and, before Alex can panic, she’s out again, leading Alex by the hand towards the stairs.

Alex follows placidly, just a step behind, hugging Krypto to her chest.

They pass Kara’s bedroom easily and as they are passing the bathroom to head into Alex’s room, the girl pulls at her hand.

“Lee.”

The way Alex says her name sounds weird to Lena and when she looks back to the girl, she notices why.

Alex’s thumb is firmly in her mouth, Krypto held in the crook of her arm. Her eyes are earnest and vulnerable and Lena notes that there’s a sheen in them that she’s seen on the girl several times…

… every time Alex is softer.

… every time Alex is more open.

… every time Alex is freer with her touches.

… every time Alex sits on her lap.

… every time Alex wakes from her nap.

… every time she’s around Alex for just enough time to notice a _change._

Something clicks in Lena’s brain, but she’s not quite sure what does.

“Yes, babygirl?” she asks faintly, not wanting to break the moment, the tenderness in Alex’s being.

Alex blinks heavily, looking directly at her eyes. “Potty,” she announces around her thumb, tugging her to the bathroom.

Something crashes in Lena’s brain.

Suddenly, that click makes sense.

So much sense.

Lena’s smile is small and a little forced. “I think we need to wake Kara.”

Yes, they need to wake Kara.

Preferably in that instant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe
> 
> I'm tempted to not upload until Sunday... let this cliffhanger stew for a while.
> 
> Also, I hate most clowns. There are some cute ones on tiktok i stalk, but the normal clown? I got scarred with the original IT and I never, ever, looked a clown the same.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was asked to upload as soon as possible, so here we are.
> 
> Place your bets, how will Lena react?

“I’ll explain.”

Lena sits on the counter, sipping on a cooled cup of tea.

After Alex declared she needed potty, Lena promptly woke Kara up and proceeded to flee down the stairs as Kara dealt with whatever Alex needed exactly.

That was an hour ago, and now Kara is before her, her whole posture defeated as she shuffles into the kitchen.

Lena sighs deeply. She nods.

She had some time to think, waiting on them, and she got to one sole conclusion:

She’s fucking confused. Sure, she has some guesses, but she’s still so confused.

So, she’s willing to wait and see what Kara has to say.

“Alex is…” Kara starts, just to stop herself. She shakes her head and Lena can see her taking a calming breath before she’s looking right into Lena’s eyes. “Alex is around three years old right now.”

Lena nods again. It doesn’t clear her confusion, but that’s the conclusion she’s reached on her own… that Alex is a lot younger than her body’s age.

“How?” Lena asks in a whisper.

Kara shrugs. “She just is,” she explains in a murmur.

Lena’s shoulders hunch. She thought Kara would be more open than that.

Kara, seeing Lena’s posture, comes next to her and places her hand on Lena’s thigh. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I know this is weird, and hard to understand… but this is us.”

Lena peeks at Kara. Her girlfriend looks as dejected and sad as Lena feels.

Lena grabs onto the hand on her thigh. “I’m not mad,” she says gently. “Just confused.”

Kara smiles thinly. “I’m still sorry.”

Lena shakes her head. “No. No. I… I just want to understand.” She squeezes Kara’s hand. “Please.”

Kara bites on her lower lip, an action Lena’s seen Alex do so many times. “It just… Sorry. I really don’t know how to explain it,” she confesses in a small voice and Lena is suddenly reminded that Kara really doesn’t do well with difficult talks.

She smiles. “I can ask questions…?”

Kara looks to the side, nibbling on her lip for a second, before nodding.

Lena interlaced their fingers together. “You say she’s three, right?” she decides to start easy. “Is she always three?”

Kara shakes her head. “No… no. Most of the time she’s a little older, especially during the school week. Young still, but older.” Kara worries on her lip.

“And you can notice the difference, easily?”

Kara nods. “Yeah. Alex talks a lot and focuses on school easily. Lexie, though, gives short answers and always wants to cuddle and be pampered. Lexie has the attention span of, well, a three years old.”

Lena notices how Kara refers to the two sides of the girl she’s come to love. One is Alex, the other is Lexie. She thinks back, trying to recall if the times Lena has called the girl Lexie match with the actions Kara just told her.

They do.

She’s been unconsciously referring to Alex’s three year old persona by her chosen name this whole time.

Lena rubs her thumb along the back of Kara’s hand. “Is this… a multiple personality thing?” she asks quietly.

With how the girl is called differently according to her age, she guesses that’s the more sensible answer.

Kara frowns and shakes her head. “No. Or at least we don’t think so. We think it’s just regression.”

Lena nods. Regression makes sense too. “We?”

Kara smiles sheepishly. “Nia and I.”

Another small truth clicks on Lena’s brain.

“… that’s where all this therapy thing comes from…”

Kara sighs, nodding, and Lena tugs at their joined hands so the blonde can stand between her legs.

“The therapy talk has been going on for a while,” Kara admits. “But her regression brought it back with a vengeance… Lexie heard us fighting over it and, well, she took the blame.”

Lena hugs Kara to her, nuzzling her hair. “How long has she been like this?”

Kara hides her face on Lena’s neck. She shrugs again.

“Kara?”

The blonde sighs again. “Nia swears she’s been like this for as long as she’s known her… so… since she’s twelve?”

Lena is glad that Kara can’t see her, because otherwise her girlfriend would see how shocked she’s at that declaration. “… you’ve been taking care of her since then?”

“… well, I kinda potty trained her when she came live with us, so…”

Lena shakes her head. “No. Not like that. Like, regressed Alex.”

“Remember Alex’s latest arrest?”

“Yeah.”

“I think that’s where it started for us. It took us a while to get where we are now, but that’s the start.”

Lena hums. She rubs her hand along Kara’s back. “Is three the youngest she gets?”

Kara nuzzles her neck. “No. She can go younger. But it’s not often she does, so you’ve never seen her.”

Lena nuzzles back, “and how do we call her then?”

“She’s still Lexie.”

“Got it,” Lena murmurs, hiding a yawn against Kara’s hair.

“You are awfully calm about all this.”

Lena shrugs. “I guess?”

“… why aren’t you angry? Or grossed out?”

Lena pushes Kara away, just enough to see her face. “Why would I?”

Kara’s eyes are full of sorrow and not a little hesitation. “It’s abnormal.”

Lena pokes Kara’s shoulder, hard. “Now, listen to me… it’s not the most common thing to happen, but it is normal. You make it sound like she’s headed to hell!”

“You know we don’t follow any religion, Lee.”

Lena rolls her eyes. “Don’t change the subject. What I mean is, I’m not grossed out or angry because this is not something to be grossed out or angry about.”

“So, nothing will change?” Kara asks quietly. “You still want to be with us?”

Lena pecks Kara’s lips. “Of course I want to be with you two… but things will change, oh, yes.”

“Lee?” Kara asks not a little scared.

“Now that I know, I’ll be treating her more like her age. And don’t get me started with presents. Every kid loves presents and I’ll give her so many she’ll be buried in them…” she coughs, clearing her throat, nervous. “If I’m allowed, that’s it.”

Kara looks at her as if Lena hung the moon and the stars. “You are absolutely perfect. Marry me.”

Lena’s small coughing fit turns into a violent, choking one.

What?

When in panic, deflect.

“And Alex?” Lena squeaks out. “She okay? She said she had a nightmare.”

Kara, thankfully, rolls with it. “Yeah. She gets those often.” She grunts. “Though I don’t know why she didn’t come to me. She always does.”

Lena looks away, trying to control the blush that she can feel creeping up her neck. She’s not usually this prudish. Or taken out of guard. “We were kinda naked, darling,” she reminds her. “She also mentioned Krypto.”

Kara nods, blushing too. “Yeah, said she wanted him near. She’s always calmer with him watching over her.”

Lena bites down the ‘aww’ that’s threatening to come out. “That’s adorable,” she voices instead.

Kara smiles softly, still looking at her with adoration. “Yeah. He needs to be nearby when she’s in time out, otherwise she panics.”

Yet another thing clicks in Lena’s brain.

Now those punishments Alex mentioned that day make more sense.

So more sense.

Lena’s nose twitches. “You have to put her in time out often?” she asks truly curious.

Lena has grown to see Alex has a devious side, a side that’s as adorable as the rest of her, but devious all the same. It’s a side that’s came out to play with pranks, little mood swings and not the unusual talk back.

In fact, Lena can picture Alex in time out at least once a day if she’d be able to stay as Lexie the whole time.

Kara chuckles. “At first, yes. She was really bratty. But now, she usually behaves. And she’s a good girl around you. When James comes over, it’s a total disaster and she always ends in the corner.”

Lena nods, she hasn’t met James either, but she’s heard the tales and, because she can admit she stalked all of Kara’s social media, she’s seen some of those fallouts with James.

Honestly, Lena approves of the things she knows Alex has done to James over time. James seems nice, but he also seems awfully chummy with Kara in the photos and videos she found. And the K&J hashtag is not amusing at all.

“Will she be alright until morning?” Lena asks then, a small frown in her face. She remembers when she was a kid having nightmares and finding it impossible to fall back asleep.

Kara pecks Lena’s frown. “Don’t worry. She’s used to them and she was really tired. It took a while, but after a change and some singing, I lulled her to sleep.”

Oh. Now it makes more sense why Alex wanted her to take her into the bathroom… and why Kara always takes the time to tuck Alex in bed. The girl uses protection and Kara no doubt always makes sure she’s wearing them for bed.

Honestly… is there anything Kara won’t do for Alex?

Lena likes Kara, really likes her. She’s funny, she’s witty, she’s gorgeous, she’s smart, she’s made a life for herself after a shitty stunt at foster care, she’s amazing in bed and the best kisser she’s ever had. But, those attributes fall short to how compassionate, caring, soft, thoughtful, warm and caring she is… specially when it comes to Alex.

Kara’s most attractive feature isn’t physical, no, her most attractive feature is how passionate she is in her love.

Lena’s heart feels heavy and warm and ready to burst. She surges forward, kissing Kara deeply. “I’m glad,” she murmurs once they come out for breath.

Kara bites on her lower lip. “You’re really okay with all this.” It comes out as a statement, but it’s a question and Lena knows it.

Lena smiles serenely. “I love you,” she says plainly, because that’s the truth she’s just faced.

She loves Kara.

Kara’s eyes widen at those words. This is the first time those words are spoken between them and it feels monumental. “Lee…?”

Lena kisses her again, this time lighter and easier. “I love you. I can’t explain it… but it feels like I’ve known you forever and I love you. I love you both.” Her earlier realization feels too heavy for the moment, so she’ll share it later, once her heart stops hammering and her feelings are calmer.

No matter why she loves Kara, she simply does. Same with Alex. She loves the girl too.

Kara’s eyes close and Lena’s surprised by a lone tear that runs down her cheek. “I love you too,” she murmurs, hugging the older woman close and nuzzling on her neck.

Lena basks on their closeness happily, serenely.

That’s it, until a blood-chilling scream tears the night.

XxXxX

They find Alex hiding under the bed and Lena knows this will the first time she gets to see first hand how Kara interacts with Lexie.

Oh, she knows she’s seen the little girl before, but, now that she knows, it feels different.

Kara kneels by the bed and motions to Lena to wait to the side. “Lexie?”

A small whimper answers her.

“Love, please come out.”

“Clowns,” Alex whimpers.

Kara and Lena share a look. Neither of them knows why Alex is suddenly dreaming of clowns.

“It’s just us, baby,” Kara murmurs. “Just _anne_ and Lena.”

“Lee?”

“I’m here, babygirl,” Lena says softly, shuffling closer to the bed and kneeling just like Kara.

Alex sniffs form under the bed. “No clowns?”

“No clowns, sweetie.”

“Otay.”

Alex lapses into silence then and Kara smiles sadly. She motions to the side with her head, and both women shuffle away from the bed.

“She’ll hide in there for a little while. Can you keep an eye on her? I’ll go get her some water.”

Lena nods. “Yes, love. I’ll wait here.”

Kara scurries out the room and Lena gets closer to the bed, where she thinks Alex’s head might be.

“ _Annem?”_ Alex slurs and Lena thinks the girl must be sucking her thumb.

“She went for water, angel… do you want me to call her?”

“No.”

There’s some shuffling and Alex slides from under the bed and into Lena’s arms. She hugs her by the neck with one arm and sighs.

Lena is confused for a moment, but adapts quickly, holding Alex and shifting so she can cradle the girl in her lap. She rests the girl’s padded butt on the crook of her crossed legs and let Alex’s head rest just over her chest.

“Hi, baby,” Lena murmurs, looking down to meet Alex’s eyes. They are red rimmed and there are tear tracks on her cheeks, but other than that and a red nose, the girl looks fine.

Also, she’s calmer than what she expected after listening to her scream.

“Hi,” she slurs behind her thumb.

“Another nightmare, Lexie?”

Alex nods and turns her head to nuzzle on Lena’s breast.

Lena smiles softly. “Clowns again?”

Alex nods again.

Lena combs some hair from Alex’s face. “Do you dream of clowns often?”

“No.”

“Well, there are no clowns here. So, you are safe.”

Lena feels how Alex’s whole body relax. She can also feel how the butt on her lap grows warm and heavy.

That’s something she didn’t expect but, also unexpected, she doesn’t feel grossed out at all.

In fact, it makes Lena happy Alex is so comfortable around her that she’d just let go.

“Hey, sweet girl,” Lena coos softly. “I think you need a change, no?”

Alex blushes faintly, but nods. “M wet.”

Lena’s hand cups Alex’s butt in what feels just like a natural act. “I know, angel.”

Alex’s blush intensifies. “M sorry,” she mumbles around her thumb.

Lena presses a kiss to Alex’s forehead. “Don’t be, love. I’m not mad. But, we better get your _annen_. We don’t want you to get a rash.”

Alex whole body tenses. “No.”

“No. Rashes aren’t nice, are they?”

Alex shakes her head and she clutches onto Lena’s top with both hands, leaving a little saliva stain on it. “No _annem_ ,” she whispers.

Lena’s heart freezes for a moment.

What?

“Lexie?” Lena rubs her hand down Alex’s side. “Why?”

There is no reason for Alex not to want Kara. No reason at all.

“She mad,” Alex mumbles, tears starting to form at her eyes again.

“How so, babygirl? Help me understand.”

Alex looks around, blinking and letting a couple of tears fall. “Clowns,” she whispers.

“ _Annen_ is mad about the clowns?”

Alex nods.

“Why would she? They are in your dreams, baby. They are not here.” Alex is making no sense.

Alex shakes her head. “Clowns park.”

Lena mulls that over for a minute. No. No matter how she looks at it, Alex is really not making any sense. She decides to focus on the one word that makes the less sense in this context. “Park?”

Alex nods. “Park.”

“… can you tell me about the park? Can you be a helpful girl and explain?”

Alex wiggles a little, looking around again. “We went to park,” she mumbles. “Clowns scary.”

“Who is we, angel?”

“Lucy n me n Sara n Kate.”

Lena nods. “So you went to the park today?”

Alex nods back. “Ye.”

Lena combs the bangs out Alex’s eyes, looking how worried she seems. “So, your friends and you went to the park and there were clowns there?”

“Scary clowns.”

“They were scary clowns?”

Alex nods again.

Something isn’t adding up.

“Where is the park, babygirl? Which park you went to?” As far as Lena knows, no park clown is scary. Weird, not funny and absolutely not scary.

Although, if Alex is scared of clowns of any sort, it might be that any clown would trigger her.

“Berry Farm,” Alex whispers.

What?

“You went to Knott’s Berry Farm?”

Alex winces at the voice that comes from the door. “ _Anne._ ”

Lena winces too, once she sees the serious look on Kara’s face. That’s a look she hasn’t seen before. “Love,” she smiles tentatively. “Took you long enough to get that water.”

Kara shakes the sport bottle she’s carrying and Lena notices how worn it is. She makes a note to buy them another soon.

“I heard you talking,” Kara explains. “And I didn’t want to interrupt.” She kneels by them, opening the bottle and passing it to Alex.

Alex takes it and begins sipping on it.

“Knott’s Berry Farm?” Kara asks again.

Alex whines.

“Answer, Alexandra.”

Alex wiggles again, looking down. She sucks on her water harder.

Kara sighs. Apparently that was answer enough. “Alex… you saw scary clowns at Knott’s Berry?”

Alex chooses to hide her face against Lena’s chest, letting go of the bottle.

Kara slaps gently on Alex’s leg. “Alexandra Lee,” she scolds. “You know better.”

Alex wiggles again, trying to melt into Lena.

Lena blinks, slowly. “I’m lost.”

Kara sighs deeply. “This one is a little scaredy-cat.” Alex whines in protest. “Oh, you are. And she knows not to do anything scary because if she does, she’ll have nightmares for weeks. But of course, because Lexie wants to be grounded for the rest of the month and not be able to sit for a week, she decided to go to the biggest scary house in the state.”

Oh. _Oh._ “The Scary Farm.”

Alex whimpers just hearing the name.

“Oh, Lexie,” Lena murmurs, holding her closer.

Kara sighs again. “Up, Alex,” she commands, patting her leg.

Alex whimpers low, latching on Lena’s neck and Lena can feel the girl starting to cry.

“Alex.”

Lena frowns at Kara’s stern tone. She glares at her, trying to convey this is not the time to scold.

Kara glares right back, easily telling her she’s wrong.

“Alex,” Kara calls again. “Stand up, now.”

Lena is about to scold Kara back, when Alex just sobs out and rolls away from Lena, standing up at the same time as Kara.

Alex stands before Kara, clutching the hem of her top. From her angle and with how dejected she looks, Alex really looks her mental age.

Kara takes the girl’s hands in hers. “Alex, you know better than this.”

Alex nods, crying softly.

“We had a talk over this very same thing last time you decided you were brave enough to do horror. Remember what I told you would happen if you did it again?”

Alex whimpers, but nods again.

“Words, Alex. Use your words.”

“Yes, _anne.”_

Lena stands up too, feeling like she’s intruding in a private moment, but also wanting to be near in case she’s needed.

“Good girl. I’m a little angry, so we’ll deal with your punishment tomorrow.”

Alex nods again, sniffling.

“Now, we’ll head to bed and try to sleep. It’s really late. You’ll tell me why you thought this was a good idea tomorrow, too.”

Alex nods yet again. “Scared,” she mumbles.

Kara rubs Alex’s head soothingly. “I know, love.”

Alex rubs at her eyes, cleaning her tears. “Sleep with you?”

Kara tugs her to her chest, hugging her close. She raises an eyebrow to Lena and receives a nod back. “Yes, baby. You will sleep with us.”

Lena looks at them with a small smile and, without thinking, she goes to them and embraces them tight.

This night didn’t go as she expected, but it was a good night.

“I’m sorry.” Alex sneaks an arm around Lena’s waist and hugs back, while Kara does the same around her shoulders.

Yes. Lena thinks this was a good night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it, folks.
> 
> This feels like a good place to end this story... It's rounded to almost 100k words and the family has been found.
> 
> Dunno.
> 
> I might just end it here and open another one. Whatcha think?
> 
> I still have plenty to say about these girls.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for last's chapter mishap...
> 
> I meant to ask if I should continue posting in this story or opening a new story in the series. I never meant to stop posting and I apologize for you guys understanding that.
> 
> So, let's pretend I didn't ask at all and keep going, ye?

Alex slides next to Lucy, resting her face in her crossed arms on the table and trying not to put that much weight on her sore butt.

Lucy chews on her apple, contemplating the sorry excuse she calls friend. She noticed the bags under her eyes since they crossed paths in the morning and she didn’t feel sorry for her then and she doesn’t now.

“Had a good night?” she asks amused.

“Fuck you,” Alex grumbles.

“No thanks. I’m afraid of your mom.”

Alex whines, prompting confused looks from Sara and Kate, who are sitting on the other side of the table.

“What’s wrong?” Sara asks for the both of them.

Lucy takes another bite. “Alex’s scared shitless of anything horror.”

“Yeah, we noticed that at the park,” Kate snorts amused.

Lucy shrugs. “This one suffers from nightmares.”

Honestly, Alex lost all pity Lucy could give when she freaked the fuck out the moment she set foot on the park. Lucy told her, she warned her, she spent the week warning her while they worked on their costumes, she warned her on the way to the park and she warned her the moment they were about to enter it.

Alex groans.

“… really?” Sara asks in a murmur.

Alex just nods, totally dejected and expecting to be teased mercilessly.

Instead, Sara’s hand comes and touch her exposed wrist. When Alex peeks up to her, Sara smiles wryly. “Kate had to stay over. I had nightmares too.”

Alex’s eyebrows rise at that. “Really?”

Sara nods. “I hate scarecrows. I didn’t expect to see any at the park.”

Lucy snorts. “We went to a farm themed festival… what were you expecting?”

Kate glares at Lucy. “You can’t tease them just because you don’t get scared.”

Lucy rolls her eyes. “I’m not teasing them. I’m just shocked this two didn’t think it through. They are hella smart but got bested by a bunch of dressed up people.”

Kate does a half nod. “I mean, you are not wrong… but no teasing allowed.”

Alex sighs, and smiles gratefully at Sara. “I guess next time we’ll think it twice, uh?”

Sara smiles back. “Yeah.”

“Did Miss Z ground you?” Lucy asks casually.

Alex grimaces and shifts in place. “Yeah. A month.” She’s not about to admit that she received twenty hard smacks to her behind too, because that’s what _annem_ told her would happen if she did horror again after her movie night with Lucy.

She somehow had forgotten all about it when she was planning their trip to the park.

At last _anne_ agreed to edit and publish the footage they got from the part in her place… Alex doesn’t think she’d be able to revise the day in video format.

Lucy grimaces back. “You’ll miss Halloween?”

Alex nods. “Yeah… but with what happened at the park, I really don’t care.”

Kate snorts. “You’re new the neighborhood., you don’t know what you’re saying. You’ll be missing a lot of good candy.”

Alex shrugs. “I’ll just do as any other year. I’ll go get whatever I want from the store.”

Lucy tenses at that. “Alex…”

Alex’s eyes widen, she sits up straight immediately. She winces at the shift in position. “Not like that!”

Lucy relaxes, just barely.

“What’s that about?” Kate asks, narrowing her eyes.

Lucy waves her off. “Nothing.” She turns to Alex again. “Hey, shouldn’t you be with your new bestie?”

Alex rolls her eyes. “You make a cute green monster.” She sighs and finally starts pulling out her own lunch. “She’s busy with a meeting with the football team. Something about the end of their punishment.”

“Gee, thanks. It feels amazing being second best.”

“Oh, no. You are my last resort.”

“Alex, you shit.”

“Of course I do. I’m not an alien… now, the question here is… have you recently? You have something stuck up your ass.”

“Very funny, Alexandra. You should join the circus. Oh. Wait you’re scared of clowns,” Lucy says victoriously around a mouthful of apple.

Alex glares at that low blow. She takes an aggressive bite out her bagel and chews slowly.

“Oh? No comeback for that one? You are getting rusty.”

“No,” Alex says after swallowing. “I was just fascinated by the way you eat that apple. By how you are devouring it, I can imagine you’re actually craving a _banana_. Been too long since you’ve given that mouth a workout?”

Lucy’s eyes darken and she leans closer to Alex, invading her space. She lowers her voice to a husk and she whispers next her ear. “I could do some work with you, Lexie.”

Alex’s nose scrunches up. “Ew, Luce. No.”

Lucy leans closer, her sweet breath hitting on Alex’s cheek. “Com’on, I’m an amazing fuck,” she says, leaving a lingering kiss on the corner of her mouth.

Alex recoils instantly, rubbing at the spot Lucy just kissed and the older girl laughs her head off.

“Your face!” she nearly chokes on her laughter.

Alex rubs harder at the skin. “Lucy!” she whines.

Kate and Sara exchange a look, before Kate turns to Lucy. “Explain?”

Lucy smirks and point a thumb towards Alex. “This one’s a prude.”

Alex whines. “I’m not! You’re just gross!” She starts packing her mostly uneaten lunch. “I hate you.”

Some of the mirth on Lucy fades at her friend’s action. “Al? What are you doing?”

“Leaving,” Alex says as if that’s not obvious.

Lucy deflates. “Alex, don’t be like that. I’m sorry.”

Alex glares sulkily at Lucy. “You are mean.”

Lucy’s eyes are earnest when she answers, “I was just teasing you. I’m sorry. I know you don’t like that… I shouldn’t’ve done it.” Alex pouts and Lucy opens her arms for a hug. “Sorry.”

Alex leans forward, letting Lucy hug her tight.

“I’m sorry.”

Alex deflates a little at that. “S’okay.”

“No it’s not…”

“… I forgive you.”

“You know,” Kate says casually. “If you’d explain, I wouldn’t be lost right now.”

Lucy rolls her eyes, but keeps hugging Alex. “Alex doesn’t like sex,” she says simply.

Alex nose scrunches at hearing that phrase.

Kate and Sara raise their eyebrows. “Really?” Sara asks, with her head tilted. “You don’t like doing the dirty?”

Alex’s nose scrunches up even more. “I don’t care for it.”

Kate smirks. “So, you’re a virgin?”

Alex tenses and fakes a smile. “None of your business.” She takes her things and stands. She turns to Lucy. “Come over when my punishment’s over,” she requests quietly.

Lucy nods and watches as her friend leaves. She rounds on Kate. She glares at the redhead. “Don’t ever ask that again.”

Kate frowns. “I was teasing.”

Lucy shakes her head. “I know. But don’t. Just. Don’t. I know I messed up, and she knows you were teasing… but please. Just don’t.”

Sara’s eyes are still on where Alex disappeared to. “… she alright?”

Lucy sighs. “She will be.”

Kate suddenly picks on something Sara and she must be missing missing. “… did something happen to her?” she asks in a whisper, not wanting anyone but the three of them hear.

Lucy thinks back at a conversation she had with Alex after the Max debacle… she doesn’t want to break her friend’s trust. “No. But she’s really skittish around anything sex.”

Kate looks like she doesn’t believe her, but thankfully, she doesn’t say anything. She nods. “Fine. No bedroom talk around her. Got it. I’ll apologize later.”

Lucy smiles. “Thanks, Kate.”

Lucy knows she crossed a line today and she’ll do her best to make it up to Alex soon… No matter she’s known Kate and Sara and the gang for ages, Alex is her best friend and the one she’s managed to connect the best and she won’t let her stupid brain come between them.

Maybe some chocolate covered strawberries would gain her cookie points when she gets the chance to grovel.

XxXxX

“Lee?”

Lena looks up from the papers in her desk and she smiles at her favorite kid. “Hey, sweetheart. It’s home time?”

Today Lena has offered to take Alex home and so she told the girl to fetch her at the office when it was time to leave.

Alex nods.

“I have to finish filing these,” Lena says, resting her hand on a small mountain of papers. “Can you help me?”

“Sure.” Alex comes and leaves her backpack on a chair, starting to work easily and quickly as Lena powers everything off.

“Kara’s going to be meeting her manager today, right?” Lena makes small talk as she waits for her files to save. Damn computer is older than the school itself and it shows with how slow it gets sometimes.

“Yeah. _Annem_ said she’ll be home in time for diner, though,” Alex says absentmindedly.

“Good,” Lena murmurs. “We need to talk, Alex.”

The girl stops mid opening a cabinet. “Lee?” she asks fearfully.

Lena realizes a little too late her mistake. “I’m sorry, babygirl.” She raises to hug Alex. “That came out wrong. We need to talk, yes, but it’s nothing bad. I promise.”

Alex nuzzles on Lena’s chest. She loves how Lena’s heels makes the older woman the perfect height for her to cuddle her just so. “You punish?” she mumbles against her shirt.

Lena rubs the back of Alex’s head, sensing the drop the moment it happens. She’d be marveled she’s so in tune with the girl already, but, well, this is _Alex_. “No, sweetie.” She kisses the top of her head. “Your _annen_ already gave you your punishment, love. You are no longer in trouble. But, I want to talk to you.”

Alex looks up, blinking slowly. “Talk,” she says simply.

Lena smiles and presses a kiss on the girl’s forehead. “At home, Lexie. Now, finish filling and we’ll go have our talk. Then you’ll have your nap and then we’ll grab some burgers for diner, yeah?”

Alex’s eyes widen at that. “Happy Meal? Now?”

Lena snorts. “Sure, Happy Meal, baby, but we need to do everything I said first, okay?”

Alex pouts. “No nap,” she whines, stomping her foot.

“Ah.” Lena bops Alex’s nose. “Watch the tone, little one.”

Alex’s lower lip starts to tremble, and her eyes grow glassy.

Lena taps on the lip. “And put this away. As cute as you are, I’m not falling for that face.”

“Leeee…”

Lena chuckles. Yesterday was a fun day. She woke at noon with Alex using her as a mattress and Kara’s head resting on her shoulder. She woke first and got to see how Alex softly sucked on the collar of her top and how Kara’s drool made a small pool on her skin… and it was amazing.

She then got to help them make lunch, meaning Kara made the food and Lena entertained little Lexie with colors and stopping a battle between the Arendelle sisters and the two stuffy Barons that apparently want to take over Alex’s bedroom. It was silly, but it was also fun and Lena can’t remember a time when she’s had more fun.

Sadly, after lunch, it was time for Lena to go home and prepare for the week. She left with a heavy heart, knowing that not only she was leaving the two girls she loved, but that her leaving meant Alex would be facing her punishment without her around to console her after all it.

Lena will happily admit she wants to spend more time with them, and thus, has done as Kara asked and packed not a few outfits in her suitcase to hang in Kara’s closet… along with some lounge clothes, pajamas and recently purchased bottles of her usual care products so she can stop worrying she is skipping on her nightly routine almost on the daily.

U-Haul lesbian or not, Lena is happy with her share of life.

“Hurry, babygirl, so we can head home.”

Alex rubs her eye, but nods.

“Yes, Lee.”

XxXxX

Lena sits with Alex cradled in her lap. They are already changed into soft clothes and Alex is in a pull-up, Lena can feel the thin padding with the boxers Alex chose to wear. The girl refused when Lena offered to help her change, but willingly let Lena check if she pulled her pull-up the right way, seeing as she first put her t-shirt inside out.

They are in Alex’s room, Lena reclined on the headboard and Alex’s head resting on her chest and her legs thrown on the bed. Lena’s arms are around Alex, one cradling her by her upper back and one just resting on the swell of her hip.

Alex nibbles on the tip of her sport bottle, sipping every so often on the herbal tea Lena made her.

“So, ready to talk?” Lena asks, gently caressing her fingers along Alex’s forehead.

Alex whines around the tip of the bottle.

Lena smiles serenely. It appears Alex is as reluctant to talk as her _anne._ “Fine, angel. I’ll just say what I have to say and you can comment whenever you feel like it, okay?”

Alex nods, letting the tip off her bottle go and buries her face on Lena’s chest.

“First, I want you to know Kara and I talked about your regression.” Lena can feel the girl tensing, and it’d be endearing how worried she is over something so silly, if it wasn’t stressing the girl out. She takes a moment to nuzzle Alex’s hair. “I just want you to know that I love you and you don’t have to worry about me freaking out on you, okay? Whichever age you are, I love you and your age will never push me away, babygirl.”

Lena’s smile turns a little sad when she hears the slight sniff and feel the tears dampening her t-shirt.

“Sweetie,” she murmurs.

Alex’s hand clutches at her t-shirt and she tries burying deeper in Lena’s chest.

Lena kisses the top of the girl’s head. “I love you,” she repeats and hugs the girl tighter to her.

Part of her can understand how these two avoid hard talks. Both Kara and Alex get too emotional too fast, as far as she’s seen, and Lena is suddenly grateful the hardest talk she’d ever had – the one about her career choice – went as smoothly as it did.

Also, thinking on it, Lena can see that the important talks they had to face were the life-changing-type ones.

Of course both get nervous and avoid them at all costs.

“I still have something to tell you, sweetie,” Lena says after a couple of minutes. She chose this time to talk because she has a schedule to meet. Alex needs her nap and this way, the talking time is limited to either when she’s done speaking with Alex or when Alex’s body decides it’s time to sleep. “Do you think I can continue?”

Alex sniffs again and nods timidly.

Lena kisses her head again, not at all surprised when Alex decides to start sucking on her thumb. “Thank you, sweetie. Now, I also talked with Kara about you going to therapy.”

Alex whimpers.

“We talked and we think it’s entirely up to you. We want you to think it over. If you decide it’s not what you want, then we’ll drop it. If you think it’s something you want to try, then we’ll make sure you have all the resources you need, okay? If you decide on either, and then change your mind, then that’s alright too, baby.”

Alex wiggles in her arms and she peeks up to look at Lena with half lidden eyes.

It looks like Alex is sleepy already and thus, it’s time to wrap this up.

Lena combs some hair out the girl’s eyes. “You don’t have to answer right away. Take all the time you need. I’m here to talk if you want, or we can ask doctor Quinzel to answer your questions if you’d prefer.”

Alex does her nose scrunch and Lena worries for a moment. “Do I hafta?”

“Go to therapy?”

Alex nods.

Lena kisses between the girl’s eyes. “Only if you want to. You get to choose.”

Alex’s nose scrunches more as she worries on her lower lip. “Why?”

“Choose?” Alex nods again. “Because whatever you choose, it’ll have an impact on your life, so, you get to choose. As I told you before, take all the time you need to decide. We just want you to know you have options.”

“Don’t wanna.”

Lena blinks, well, that was fast. “You don’t want therapy?” she asks for clarification.

Alex shakes her head and squeaks out a yawn. “No choose.”

Lena frowns. “You don’t want to choose?”

Alex nods yet again, rubbing at her eye.

Lena hums. “You are sleepy, babygirl, so we’ll shelf this talk for later. You can tell me what you mean after nap, okay?”

Alex pouts and her already watery eyes start to moisten again.

Lena smiles at that. The more teary and pouty Alex gets, the cuter Lena thinks she looks. “And no protesting on your nap, Lexie. You are tired and if you don’t nap you won’t have the energy to go buy your Happy Meal.”

Alex’s pout clears at that and she rolls away in order to lay on her bed properly.

Lena chuckles. “Good girl, angel.”

Alex turns to face Lena. Her thumb is back into her mouth and she mumbles around it, “stay.”

Lena’s smile widens. “Of course. Do you want to cuddle?”

Alex blinks slowly and hums in affirmation.

Lena slides down the bed until she’s laid properly and opens her arms to Alex, who happily burrows back in them. Lena cuddles the girl close, letting her intertwine their legs together.

“Love you,” Alex murmurs, clutching on her t-shirt with her unoccupied hand.

The girl is out in less than a minute, trapping Lena in place and she can see in her future that, with two cuddly girls in her life, she’ll have to either find thinner pajamas or simply get used to being hot at sleeping time.

Not that it really matters, Lena thinks with a happy sigh as she closes her eyes too.

She plans on cuddling her girls forever if they let her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno guys, I feel like as much as Kara adores Alex, Lena is somehow more maternal every time I get to write her and Alex together - and not just in this story.
> 
> Either way.
> 
> Hoping to hear your thoughts!!!


	39. Chapter 39

“Did you have fun with Lena?”

Alex nods, playing with the bubbles in the water.

Kara smiles, washing the girl’s back. Honestly, she was a little scared of leaving Alex in Lena’s care for the day, but she knows Lena adores Alex, so she let go of her stupid fear and let them have the day together.

The same happens to her when she needs to leave Alex with Nia, so she doesn’t think her fear has to do with Lena, but the fact that she doesn’t deal well with being away from Alex for too long.

But, well, Lena said she needed to talk with Alex and Kara had been putting off a meeting with her content manager and Lena was right with having the therapy talk as soon as possible, so Kara decided to have that meeting today, knowing her manager would see her whenever.

That’s the beauty of working on your own terms, she thinks, to be able to do almost as you please… and that’s why she working with a freelance manager works wonders for her. She helps him and he helps her in a win-win situation in which both work their asses off and see the number of views go up, up, up.

So, yeah, it made sense and she’s glad she did. Alex looks happy and relaxed as she takes her bath after making a mess with the fries and ketchup downstairs.

Kara smiles. She’s learnt Lena is a fast food junkie and she’ll have to keep an eye on them in order to avoid Alex getting too much gross food. Still, it was lovely getting home to Alex’s giggles and Lena’s chuckles and see them having a mini sword fight with their fries, with ketchup ‘blood’ and ‘fallen friends’ made out of nuggets.

Kara’s not sure the ketchup will come out the ceiling. Lena is currently trying to clean up and they’ll see how that goes after Alex is bathed and diapered.

Alex splashes water in her direction, not happy to be ignored while Kara thinks.

“Hey!” Kara complains at the water sent her way. “No splashing!”

Alex giggles and Kara’s heart grows a size in love. “Wash my hair?”

Kara rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “I always wash your hair, Lexie.”

Alex pouts cutely. “But you haven’t yet.”

Kara snorts and simply start leathering the girl’s hair. “You need a haircut, baby,” she comments, just as she does every day. And like every day, Alex scrunches up her nose at the comment.

“No cut.”

“You want to pull a Rapunzel? Love, your hair will reach your butt in a month or so.”

“No cut.”

“Not even your bangs?”

“No bangs.”

“You want to grow out your bangs?” Honestly, with how long it’s been since the girl’s last haircut, the bangs are already grown out.

“Yes.”

Kara sighs. “At least let me even out your ends. Close your eyes, I’m rinsing.” Alex dramatically takes a deep breath, closing her eyes and Kara uses the handheld shower to quickly rinse her hair. “If your ends start to split, I’m giving you that haircut no matter what.”

Alex pouts. “They not split.”

“Yet.” Kara starts conditioning her hair, mixing Alex’s conditioner with one of her own hair treatments, to make sure Alex’s hair keeps lush and untangled.

Maybe that’s the main reason Alex is against cutting her hair… it’s easy to take care of it and when they brush it, it has no tangles in it. If they’d suffered while combing it, Kara is sure Alex would want it shorter already.

“ _Anne?”_

“Yes, _minnoş_?”

“Should I go doctor?”

Kara tenses with her fingers deep in Alex’s hair. So, Lena managed to talk with Alex after all. “That’s up to you, love,” Kara murmurs, getting back to work on the hair.

Alex sighs deeply. “I don’t wanna.”

Kara’s eyebrows rise. “You don’t want therapy?” She consciously tries to keep the relief out her tone. She really doesn’t want Alex to go through the trauma that’s therapy, but she’ll be an adult and let the girl decide.

Alex whines and Kara is confused for a second. “No. No wanna choose.”

That, she didn’t expect. “Why not love?” she asks as she lets the conditioner work.

Alex’s lower lip juts out and she looks down. “No wanna. You do.”

Kara sighs. “ _Minnoş_ …” She uses her fingers to raise Alex’s face by the chin. “Hey, Lexie… I can’t help you with this one. You need to choose. I can’t choose for you.”

Alex whimpers, but keep quiet as Kara stands her up to be rinsed completely.

Once out the bath and changed into soft pajamas and her trusted diaper, Alex pleads again. “You choose.”

“Alex. I can’t.”

“Lee choose.”

Kara frowns. “Love, she won’t either. You have to make this call.”

The girl’s eyes start watering at that, and Kara knows her kid enough to see this is not a tantrum… no. Alex is honestly upset.

Alex trembles and Kara wastes no time into hugging her tight. “Alex?”

The girl turns in her arms and burrows on her chest. “Please. Please.”

Kara runs her fingers along her hair and back, soothing her as much as she can. “I don’t understand, love.”

“Please no.”

Kara is lost. She doesn’t get where this is coming from. “Love…”

There’s a knock on the door and Kara turns to see Lena hovering there. She was supposed to show up in a few minutes to help tuck Alex in at the girl’s request. “Hey, something the matter?” she inquires, looking at the sobbing girl in Kara’s arms.

Kara looks at her pleadingly. “I don’t know.”

Lena comes in the room, rubbing the back of Alex’s head. “Lexie,” she coos. “What’s wrong?”

Alex shakes her head, pulling violently away from the brunette.

A flash of hurt passes through Lena’s eyes as she withdraws her hand.

“Hey,” Kara scolds gently. “We don’t do that.”

Alex glares up at Kara, pushing away from her too. The tears are still coming strong, but her slight sobbing is gone completely.

The kid looks furious and Kara is too shocked to move.

“Alex,” Lena scolds this time. “We don’t push.”

Alex is still close enough to Kara, so she pushes her again, hard, making her stumble and shocking Kara even further. Alex has never done anything like this.

“Alex.” Lena’s tone grows sterner. “Don’t.”

Alex glares at Lena with a deep frown in her face. She makes a move to push Lena too when Kara finally reacts.

“Enough,” she says, grabbing the kid by her middle. “Enough, Alex.”

Alex lashes out, scratching Kara’s cheek as she tries to break free. Lena comes in the scuffle, grabbing onto Alex’s hands to prevent her from doing more damage. “Alex,” she barks. “Cut it out.”

The sobbing comes back, and the struggling intensifies. “Let go! Let go!”

“Alexandra,” Kara snaps. “Stop it!”

Alex responds by starting to kick too, catching Lena’s shin in the process.

“Motherf-” Lena bites down her grunt as she moves as far as possible from Alex’s feet.

“Alexandra!” Kara lands a couple of spanks on the girl’s behind. “We don’t hit.”

That does the trick. Alex becomes boneless in her grip and her sobbing picks up. She starts gasping for air and Kara hugs her to her chest.

Lena comes closer then, rubbing circles on Alex’s back. “Shhh, love,” she soothes. “Easy, sweetie. Take deep breaths.”

Alex tries, choking on her sobbing and sliding to the floor.

Kara and Lena share a concerned look before following her down.

Alex turns on the floor, kicking the floor while her nails scratch at her cheeks. Kara and Lena don’t waste time in each grabbing a hand, preventing the girl from hurting herself.

“Alex,” Kara murmurs mournfully. “Try to calm down, love.”

Alex just sobs and kicks harder.

“Alex…”

Lena catches Kara’s eyes, shaking her head and mouthing, ‘wait’.

And so, they do.

They sit, each holding a hand and they wait for the girl to wear herself out. It takes some time, but with neither adult engaging her, and her sobbing turning to hiccups and tiredness, Alex finally lays motionless on the floor, trembling slightly.

Lena combs some hair out her eyes. “Can we talk now?” she asks gently.

Alex shakes her head.

Kara smiles sadly at that. “Fine, love. But it’s sleeping time now.” She rubs at Alex’s tummy. “So, let’s get you in bed.”

Alex’s lower lip trembles. She lowers her eyes and whispers to Lena, “Sorry me hit.”

Lena leans down and kisses her temple. “Thank you for apologizing, little one. I forgive you.”

Alex then turns to Kara and she whimpers at seeing the red marks on her cheek. “Sorry pushing… sorry scratching.”

Just like Lena, Kara leans down and presses a kiss to the girl’s forehead. “Thank you. I forgive you, too, love.” She squeezes the hand she’s still holding. “Now, sleep time.”

Alex nods, but she switches her gaze between Kara and Lena, switching every few beats… “Your bed…?” she asks in a mumble.

“You want to sleep with us?” Lena asks gently. It was a no brainer that she was staying the night… there was a reason she brought all her stuff over in the first place.

Alex nods.

Lena nods back, but turns to Kara for confirmation.

Kara just smiles. “Of course, _minnoş_. Let’s wash your face and then, you’ll go to bed.”

Alex sniffs and nods again, before rising to do as ordered.

Lena and Kara share one las concerned look before Kara rises too to go help the kid in the bathroom.

The brunette stays a moment longer on the floor, gently rubbing on what she knows will be a huge bruise in her shin tomorrow and wondering why sweet Alex had such a meltdown.

XxXxX

Kara leaves the door open a fraction and motions to Lena to go down the stairs. “She’ll be out for a couple of hours before she wakes from a nightmare,” she informs her in a whisper as they descend the stairs.

Lena shakes her head and goes in the kitchen to grab a bag of frozen peas. Her shin smarts and she want to ice it for a moment.

Kara winces as she sees Lena jump on the counter and put the frozen veggies on her leg. “She got you good. I’m sorry.”

Lena waves her off. “She scratched you some, too. It hurts, but I’m more worried over why she did it.”

Kara sighs, rubbing at her stinging cheek. Alex surely caught them unaware. “I don’t understand it. We were talking and suddenly she got hysterical.”

Lena hums. “I heard you talking about she not wanting to do something?”

Kara’s rub turns to her whole face. “Therapy,” she says simply, glaring slightly to Lena.

“Oh. She doesn’t want to go?” she says, choosing to ignore the glare.

“No.” Kara shakes her head, still confused. “She said she doesn’t want to choose. She wants us to choose if she goes or not.”

Lena hums again, shifting the bag. “She said the same to me,” she comments. “When I talked to her.”

Kara takes the bag from her and starts icing her gently. “What does that mean?”

Lena hisses at the shifting against her bruise. “I have no idea.” She frowns thinking hard.

“I’m worried,” Kara confesses in a whisper.

Lena sighs. “Yeah. Me too.” She looks to the side, trying to process everything. “You sure she’ll wake up?” she asks in a murmur.

Kara nods. “Yeah. She’ll have a nightmare. If not over this, then surely over the stupid clowns.”

Lena smiles softly at that. “She gets really scared, uh?”

“Ever since she was a little kid. She never could stomach the dark stuff.”

Lena’s eyebrow quirk. “Yet she’s not afraid of the dark.” It’s not a question, it’s a statement.

She noticed that the other night she found Alex in Kara’s studio. The girl practically walked the whole of the house in pitch dark blackness and the only thing that spooked her were the clowns. Even now that Kara knows Alex will have a nightmare, they left the kid in a darkened room on her own and she didn’t protest at the lack of light.

“She likes hiding in dark places… she likes darkness.”

“… why?” Lena can’t understand. It doesn’t make sense to her.

“Does it matter? It’s an Alex thing.”

Lena shakes her head, focusing on the more pressing topic. “So. She doesn’t want to make the call.”

“No. She wants us to choose.”

Lena hums. “Then we will.”

Kara looks up to meet determined emerald eyes. “What? You said she needed to choose on her own. That it was the way it’ll help the most.”

Lena nods. “And she did. She chose not to choose.”

“… that makes no sense.”

“It does. She’s choosing not to actively chose. That way, she’s giving up power over to us, you in particular, and whatever we, _you_ , choose, it’ll be the best for her.”

“… Lee. No. That’s just… no. You said for her to choose.”

Lena sighs deeply. “And she chose for you to choose for her. So, you’ll choose.”

Kara rolls her eyes. “Stop saying ‘you choose’. You got me in this mess. You’re part of it too.”

Lena smiles tiredly. “You are her _anne.”_

“And she loves you too. So cut the crap.”

“Yes, dear.”

“So, she won’t choose, and you want us to make the call now?”

“Yes. That’s what I said.”

Kara bites on her lower lip. “But you already know my answer.”

“And you already know mine.”

Kara smiles pained. “Is this going to be our first fight?”

Lena leans forwards and kisses her softly. “No,” she whispers, her lips barely a breath away from Kara’s. “This’ll be our first compromise.”

Kara pecks her lips. “Promise?”

Lena raises her pinky towards Kara. “Promise.”

Kara smiles and interlaces their fingers together.

Maybe they’ll be able to do something after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...
> 
> That happened.
> 
> Alex had a massive melt down and her moms are now gonna make it better.


	40. Chapter 40

Alex shrieks, laughing as Lena bounces her on her knees up and down, up and down. Lena’s fingers are digging in her sides as she tickles her mercilessly and Alex can’t but laugh and hold on for dear life on the legs she’s straddling.

“Leee!” she squeals, trying to wiggle away but also trying not to fall. “Nooooo!”

Lena giggles at the squirming and laughing.

“ _Anneeeee!”_ Alex shrieks again. “Heeeeelp!”

Kara comes in the living room, observing how her two favorite girls are playing together. She chuckles. “She’s stronger than I,” Kara says amusing. “I’m sorry, I can’t help.”

Lena’s tickling increases. “No one can save you, little one.”

“Nooooooooo!” Alex jerks, still laughing uncontrollably. “Imma pee!”

Lena snorts, her fingers stilling for a moment. She smirks. She bounces Alex once. “I can feel the padding,” she says simply. “There’s nothing stopping me from keep tickling.”

Alex’s breathing is heavy as her eyes widen at the threat. “No! Please! No tickling!”

Kara observes them with a slight frown. Alex has never used her diapers or pull-ups while awake and the last time she suggested so, Alex went as red as a tomato. Right now, Alex is just breathing jerkily, holding onto Lena’s wrists as the brunette’s hands rest on the girl’s hips. There are no signs on embarrassment in her face and she looks simply winded.

Lena puts on an exaggerated thinking face. “I don’t know, Lexie, tickling you is awfully entertaining.”

Alex’s lower lip starts trembling and her eyes go wide.

Lena’s response is start tickling her again.

“Leeeeee! Stoooooop!” she laughs, shrieking again and wiggling like a worm.

Lena chuckles.

Kara chuckles too. It’s good seeing the two in good spirits.

The week was a hard one.

After the Therapy Tantrum, as they decided to call Alex’s episode, Lena and Kara went back and forth until they really reached a compromise: Alex will try therapy and, barred her first session goes absolutely awful, she’ll go for three whole months. Lena had wanted for a six months’ trail, but Kara put her foot down and bargained for the sole session.

Of course, because they promised they were compromising, they reached to the three months’ agreement, among other clauses Lena wrote in a small contract the three signed.

Alex was confused for a moment, not knowing what was really happening, but after they explained it all to her, she happily scrawled her name in the line assigned to her.

And Alex had her first session last Monday.

It goes without saying that the day was exhausting for all of them, and it dragged into an exhausting week for all too.

XxXxX

_“No hospital,” Alex mumbles around her thumb._

_Lena brushes some hair out her face. “This is not a hospital, babygirl,” she says softly. “This is a small clinic and Dr. Quinzel’s office is in there. Remember you agreed to come see her?”_

_Alex nod and slides closer to Lena in order to nuzzle into her chest._

_Lena hugs her tightly, catching Kara’s eyes through the rear mirror._

_Lena insisted Kara drove, citing that Kara needs some sort of control over the situation and driving them there is a form of therapy for Kara on its own._

_Kara didn’t have the heart to tell Lena driving to a hospital is the exact opposite of what she thought. Having to drive them near a doctor is more anxiety producing than anxiety reducing._

_But, well, now that they are parked in the clinic’s lot, Kara can admit the fear and sickness in her stomach didn’t feel as pressing and grand as before they left home._

_Maybe, maybe, Lena is slightly right about this therapy thing._

_Kara turns to see the two on the back seat. “Minnoş,” she calls softly. “We promised to try, remember? I’ll be with you the whole time. Lena too.”_

_Alex turns just enough to peek at Kara. She sucks on her thumb with more force. “Promise?”_

_“Promise.”_

_“Alex,” Lena murmurs to the girl. She smiles when Alex’s eyes met hers. “I have a couple of presents for you at home,” she informs the kid._

_Alex’s eyes widen and she lets go of the thumb in order to clutch on Lena’s top. “Really?”_

_“Really. And the sooner we try visit Dr. Quinzel, the faster we can go home and get your presents. Do you think you can try now?”_

_Alex nods. It’s not as confident as she’d like it, but the girl is trying and thus, Lena is happy._

_Kara opens the door for Alex. “Out, monster. You heard the lady. The fastest we do this, the fastest we can go home.”_

_Alex looks up at Lena again, and, after a getting a comforting nod from her, she climbs out the car._

_They make the short trip to the clinic and, after registering at the reception, they sit to wait in a room near the doctor’s office._

_The walls are painted in a color between peony and rose, Kara notices, which it’s something she didn’t expect. She was dreading coming in a sterile room, with whites and blues and greys, so the difference is appreciated. There are also posters all around, most of them focusing on pregnancy and child development, with one or two mental-health awareness ones thrown in the mix._

_To the corner there’s a small table with construction blocks and toys of different types. Next to it are chairs clearly meant for children and there’s even a chalkboard with a smiley face already painted on it. There’s also a small corner with books and beanbags and Kara notices that some of those books are not exactly children oriented. She spots Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and one of the Percy Jackson ones, along with some of the classics like Pride and Prejudice, Emma and Jane Eyre._

_“Lexie,” Lena calls to the girl and Kara looks over to see that Alex’s thumb is inside her mouth again. “See the toys?” Lena inquires. “Don’t you wanna go explore?”_

_The room is empty except for them and Kara belatedly remembers today is Halloween and not many people must make doctor appointments on that date… specially considering the type of patients she can guess the clinic is focused on._

_Alex sucks slowly on her thumb and Kara is glad to see she’s not nervous, just curious. She nods._

_“Then go explore,” Lena encourages her. “Annen and I will be here.”_

_“Otay.”_

_Alex toddles away and Kara settles next to Lena in a chair near the door. “A couple of presents?” she inquiries quietly, amused._

_Lena has the decency to blush. “Hush, you.”_

_Kara shakes her head. “You’re going to buy her something every time she needs to come here?”_

_Lena shakes her head. “No. But I thought today was a special day and she’d need the incentive…” She looks at Kara from the corner of her eye. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask you first.”_

_Kara waves her off. “It’s okay. As long as you don’t buy her a car or something to that extent, I’m okay.”_

_Lena keeps quiet at that, turning her face away from Kara and the blonde sees her tense._

_“Lena?” Kara asks a little fearfully. “You didn’t…”_

_Lena’s shoulders shake with laughter. She turns around away, facing her girlfriend with a wide smile and happy eyes. “Of course I didn’t. She’s too young to drive.”_

_Kara relaxes at that. She slaps Lena’s shoulder mildly. “Ass.”_

_Lena leans closer, brushing her lips to Kara’s ear. “Only if you ask nicely,” she whispers._

_Kara shivers and, god, she’s glad Lena is distracting her so effectively._

_She’d be a shaking mass otherwise._

_Still, she needs to make her brain not go there._

_So._

_“What’s this place?” she asks in a small squeak._

_Lena chuckles, but goes back to sit on her chair properly. “A clinic.”_

_Kara rolls her eyes. “I know that, silly. What type of clinic?”_

_“It’s a pediatric clinic, mostly.” She motions to the posters. “There are a few OBGYNs in here too, and of course, Dr. Quinzel. She’s specializes on kids.”_

_Kara nods._

_When they were discussing this whole thing, one of the main problems Kara voiced was who would be Alex’s therapist. She doesn’t feel comfortable with the idea of Alex seeing a psychiatrist, but Lena insisted it was better for Alex’s kind of issues to be addressed with one instead of a psychologist. Kara also wasn’t comfortable to let Alex in the hands of a male doctor, so Lena instantly came up with Dr. Quinzel as the cure-all._

_Kara asked if it was professional to let Alex’s teacher poke in her mind, but Lena explained that it was sometimes frowned upon, but not exactly bad. Also, Lena countered, Alex already knows the woman, already likes the woman, so the sessions will go more smoothly._

_Kara sure hopes so._

_Specially as she’s expected to go in with Alex on her first ever session._

_Thinking on that, Kara wants Lena keep distracting her, otherwise she might end up hyperventilating._

_“Hey,” Lena’s hand comes to rest on her knee. “I’m here. Nothing bad will happen.”_

_Kara forces out a smile. “Kinda wish you’d go in with us.”_

_Lena tilts her head to the side. “I can, if you want me to.”_

_Kara’s eyes widen. “You’d do that?”_

_“Of course, love.” She pecks the blonde’s lips. “I’ll happily go.”_

_Kara feels some of her tension leave her body. “Thank you.”_

_Lena pecks her lips again. “Anytime. Talking of… what are your plans for Thanksgiving?”_

_Kara shakes her head at the sudden topic change. “Thanksgiving?”_

_“Yeah. What are you two doing?”_

_“Uh. Nothing. We don’t do Thanksgiving.”_

_Lena’s eyes widen, but, before she can ask, they are called to see their doctor._

_Kara takes a deep breath as Alex comes running to climb on her lap. “Well, here goes nothing.”_

XxXxX

Kara will admit the session wasn’t as painful as she expected, but it was emotionally tiring, and she really doesn’t want a repeat.

Alex took it all in stride, but it, combined with her clown scare, has given her intense nightmares all week.

Lena promises it’s all part of the process, but Kara doesn’t want to see Alex suffering like that.

Still, they all agreed on the three months’ trial and if they don’t sleep during it, well, they simply won’t.

Lena too didn’t get much sleep too. She’s spent most the week at their place, and the two nights she didn’t, Alex demanded Kara called her at all hours, and who is Kara to deny Alex, especially if it’s Lena’s fault the kid’s having nightmares?

If Alex doesn’t sleep, neither will Kara _and_ Lena.

Lena’s been a good sport about it all, so Kara can’t really be mad with her. She’s doing it all in Alex’s benefit, so at least she can console herself in knowing Lena loves Alex too.

“Leeeee!” Alex howls. “Imma pee for real!”

Kara sits next to them, far enough not to be caught in the action, but close enough to intervene if it’s really necessary.

Lena finally relents, resting her hands on Alex’s hips to keep her balanced on her knees.

Alex’s chest heaves with her breathing and she leans forwards to slump on Lena’s body.

Lena’s arms come to hug her and her eyes widen momentarily, before she starts rubbing her hand up and down the girl’s back with a small smile in her face.

“Don’t you need to pee?” Kara asks after a moment of Alex recovering from being attacked.

The tips of Alex’s ears go red and Lena chuckles gently. She cups the girl’s butt and comments easily, “not anymore.”

Kara’s own eyes widen at that. “Oh.”

Alex wiggles, leaning more comfortably on Lena. “’M wet,” she announces blushing a little.

Kara snorts. “That I can see.” She pushes to her feet. “Come, then. Let’s change you.”

Alex nods, sliding off Lena’s lap and obediently following Kara up the stairs.

Lena smiled, watching them leave. Her heart feels huge, close to bursting and she can’t remember a time she was happier.

Sure, her nights are mostly sleepless, but she’s gotten into the habit of napping with Alex and Kara in the evenings, so she doesn’t feel as tired as she should. In fact, they are just waking up from today’s nap. It’s Friday and, when Alex started stirring in her arms, she made the decision to bring the girl downstairs to let Kara sleep a little longer.

They played clapping games for a while, Lena teaching Alex her favorites from when she was a kid. Alex is a smart girl and she learnt quickly, but even so it was fun, balancing Alex on her lap as she taught her the hand movements necessary to play Miss Suzie and Long Legged Sailor.

It was not until Lena heard movement from upstairs that her tickle attack started and now that those two are upstairs, Lena thinks its time for her to go fetch the next batch of gifts she’s gotten Alex.

She didn’t lie when she told Kara that she was going to spoil Alex rotten.

By the time Lena is back inside the house from going to grab the boxes that were waiting in her car, Alex and Kara are sitting in the kitchen, sharing a drink.

Alex’s eyes are downcast and the first thing Lena notices is the small sniffles coming from her. “Lexie?” she calls the girl. Up until not ten minutes ago, Alex was happy and chipper. “What’s wrong?” she asks as she leaves her boxes in the counter and turns to the girl.

Alex’s whole demeanor changes and she smiles wide. “Lee!” she bounces towards the brunette and she hugs her tight. “You here!”

Lena hugs her tight, looking at Kara with a raised eyebrow. “What’s wrong?” she asks again.

Kara takes a sip from her lemonade. “She thought you left,” she explains easily.

Lena’s features softer at hearing that. She kisses the top of Alex’s head. “I’m sorry, babygirl,” she murmurs. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

Alex shakes her head, snuggling closer. “’S okay.”

Lena smiles sadly at Kara, and have the smile returned just as sadly.

“Come on, angel,” Lena murmurs after a little while of simply hugging the girl. “I’m thirsty. What are you guys having?”

Alex takes her by the hand and sits her on the barstool next Kara’s. She attempts to climb on her lap, but Kara easily stops her. “Easy, _minnoş_ ,” she says with a chuckle. “I don’t think the stool can support you both.”

Alex pouts and her eyes widen. “ _Anne,”_ she whines, trying to climb on Kara’s lap then.

Kara shakes her head and stands up. In an easy move she sits Alex on the bar between the adults and raises an eyebrow. “There, you can be with both of us.”

Alex sulks slightly, but she grabs her bottle and starts nibbling on its tip.

The bottle was part of the first set of gifts Lena got Alex and the girl insists on having all her drinks poured in it. It’s a mint colored one, with small roses all around and a soft silicone tip that Alex likes chewing between sips. Lena plans on buying the whole of the collection, as Alex got really dejected when she realized she had no bottle to sip her Noonan’s milkshake during lunch at school.

She could try using her current bottle for that, but Kara always sends the girl with different kinds of beverages on her bottle and the one time Alex tried to finish the bottle before lunch so Lena could give her the milkshake on it, Alex almost had an accident during Dr. Palmer’s class. It was an embarrassed Alex that showed up at lunch that day, having dibbled a little before she reached the toilet. Hopefully, Kara managed to bring the girl a change of panties and everything was forgotten easily.

So, yes. Lena plans on buying them all. In fact, she’s already started. In one of the boxes there’s another bottle, this one with little Harry Potter motifs, that she knows Alex will absolutely adore.

Kara serves Lena a glass of lemonade and they sip contently in silence. Gifts can wait until tomorrow morning. Lena knows that giving Alex the stuff she brought will make the girl too excited to go to bed at a decent hour.

She can totally picture Alex going crazy with the color-by-number painting sets she bought.

Besides, there’s something in Lena’s mind that she’s been wanting to ask them and this looks like a perfect time as any. “Babe?” she asks.

“Mmm?”

“What are your plans for Thanksgiving?”

Kara turns on the stool to face her, a confused frown on her face and Alex’s head tilts to the side like a lost puppy.

“Thanksgiving?” Kara repeats.

“Yeah. What are you doing?”

Kara and Alex share a look and the kid shrugs, going back to her sipping.

Kara frowns at Lena. “… Lee… we don’t do Thanksgiving.”

Lena blinks at that. “What?”

“We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving.”

Lena is so confused. “Why not?”

It’s Kara’s turn to shrug. “The Henshaw were not big on feeding us a feast. We never did Thanksgiving there. They usually took advantage of the long weekend to visit family. And I grew up in a muslim house, we observed Ramadan, not Thanksgiving.”

Lena blinks, turning on Alex. “Neither did you?” she asks her, still shocked. She never imagined there were people who didn’t celebrate the date.

“Nope.”

Kara’s hand comes to rest on Lena’s knee. “Remember where Alex grew up.”

Lena nods. Of course Alex doesn’t do Thanksgiving either.

“Can we do Ramadan instead?” Alex asks excitedly.

Kara chuckles. “It doesn’t work like that, _minnoş_.”

“Why not?” Alex pouts as Lena tries to recuperate from the culture shock she just got.

Kara bops on the pouty lip. “Ramadan’s passed love. It was in June.”

“But I wanna do it!”

“And we can totally try next year if you still feel like this when the time comes.”

“I’ll want to!”

Kara smiles serenely at Alex. “We’ll see, love. But that’s a topic for another time.” She turns again to Lena. “Why do you ask,” she inquires softly, “about Thanksgiving.”

Lena shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter.”

Kara leans forward and pecks Lena’s lips.

“Ew!”

“We’ll talk after this one’s in bed,” Kara whispers as Alex closes her eyes and hastily covers her ears to presumably save herself from the yuck that’s public displays of attention.

Lena smiles sadly and nods.

She doesn’t understand why she feels there’s a small hole craving out her chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what to say about this one.
> 
> I just, didn't want to delve into therapy, so we'll leave it at that, yeah?
> 
> It'll come a time when we'll see what consequences therapy brings :)


	41. Chapter 41

“I mean it… we can totally do it. You’ll need to tell us what to do, but we can do it.”

Lena blinks, astounded. “What?”

Kara smiles and Alex shifts in the space between them, fast asleep. “Show us how to celebrate Thanksgiving and we’ll do it. I’m sure Alex will be happy to do it too.”

“… but, you don’t celebrate it…”

“Because we never had a reason for it. And we never learnt how… Also… I have the feeling this is important for you.”

Lena smiles sadly. “Kinda…”

Kara reaches across Alex and grabs onto Lena’s hand. “Share with me?”

Lena squeezes the fingers in hers. “My brother is ten years older than me,” she murmurs. "Thanksgiving was special because for years it was the only time I got to see him.”

Kara squeezes back. “And he’s not going home this year?”

Lena sighs deeply. “Lex is married, and he’ll celebrate with my sister-in-law’s family this year.”

Kara nods. “And I guess you don’t want to join them.”

Lena grimaces. “I don’t get along with her…” she trails off, not knowing how much to share.

“And what about your dad? You mentioned him the other day.”

Lena’s grimace becomes more pronounced.

“You can tell me if you want, or not. It’s up to you.”

“It’s just… awkward talking about my family.”

Kara hums. “Awkward talking about them in general or with me?”

Lena grimaces again. Damn Kara is perceptive when she wants to. “… with you.”

Kara smiles softly. “Don’t feel bad, love,” she murmurs. “Everybody feels awkward talking about their family with me.”

Lena looks at Kara’s eyes in the darkness and her heart feel light seeing there’s no judgment or resentment there, just open love and warmth. “It doesn’t make you feel bad?”

Kara shakes her head minutely. “No. Maybe when I was younger it was weird, made me sad, but not now.” She smiles wide. “I have a family of my own and I mourn the dead with love.”

Lena returns the smile, however hers is a small one. “It just feels wrong talking about my parents…”

“… when I don’t have any.”

“… yeah…”

Kara’s hand leaves Lena’s and she gently cups her cheek. “Hey, no. Just because mine died, doesn’t mean we can’t talk about yours. I want to know about the people that made you into the person I fell in love with.”

Lena exhales heavily.

Alex whines in her sleep, turning around to face Lena. She scoots closer to the brunette, seeking her warmth.

“See? Even Alex agrees.”

Lena snorts, hugging Alex to her chest.

The girl takes no time in burrowing in her chest.

And idea, a distraction, pops in Lena’s mind. “Have you tried nursing?”

Kara sighs. “Don’t change the topic, babe. But yes. We’ve done it a couple of times now. It’s fairly recent.”

Lena’s eyebrow rises. She asked mostly in jest, although she’s not sure why she’s even surprised.

The bond between these two is amazingly strong.

“Just a couple of times?”

“Yeah. It makes her drop into a younger age, so we don’t get to do it often. It takes her a while to bounce back from that and it’s been busy lately.”

Lena hums. “With me around, you mean.”

“No. Life’s been busy lately, that’s all.”

“She’s a boobs girl,” she comments absentmindedly, not totally believing Kara and watching as Alex nibbles on the fabric of her top.

Kara snorts. “Not really.” She gives Lena an amused look. “Now, talk.”

Lena sighs. “My family is weird. Really weird. Dad got together with his mistress and I was born. When he found out, he recognized me and did everything by the book… but mum got deported when I was four. They decided I had better chances here than in Britain, so I went to live with dad, his wife and his son. Lex, my brother, made me feel like home and even when I missed my mum those first months, I was happy.”

“What about your dad’s wife? She was okay with it?”

Lena smiles, a little amused. “She’s a nutcase. And a workaholic. She’s been mama since day one and I swear she was more excited to have me in the house than my dad did… but she’s really intense and worked long hours. She was barely home. She’s also really opinionated. She and mum butt heads every time they see each other, which is not very often. They don’t get along. Mama married dad out of convenience and they’ve always accepted each other’s lovers, so she was not upset with me being around or anything. In fact, I’m pretty sure she was over the moon she got to have a dressing doll after only being able to bear Lex.”

“And you don’t want to go visit them? Your mama and dad?”

Lena focuses on Alex, on how she’s nibbling on her shirt, to avoid answering “Have you tried dummies?”

Kara sighs now, knowing what Lena’s doing. “No. She hasn’t shown interest.” A pause, a shake of her head. “Dummies?”

“Mum’s English and mama’s Welsh, love.”

Kara shrugs. “Fair enough. It just sounds weird. You even do an accent thingy when you call them that.”

Lena snorts. She knows what else to buy the kid now. “I’m sleepy,” she murmurs.

Kara’s hand moves to rest on her hip and she slides closer to Alex’s back, in order to be closer to Lena too. “Then let’s sleep.”

Lena nods again. “Love you, _dear_ ,” she mumbles, making sure she mimics her moms’ way of talking.

Kara rubs soothing circles along her hip and closing her eyes. “Love you too, _şekerim_.”

It takes a while for Lena to fall asleep, but, when she does, her dreams are not quiet comforting.

XxXxX

Saturday morning starts differently from what they are used to.

It starts with a clingy, non-verbal, fussy Alex.

As the girl slept through the night before, Kara wrongly assumed they were on the clear to start a happy weekend. But no. Alex woke up in a mood and, while she loves taking care of her, and Lena’s has told her countless of times she’s all the way in this dynamic, Kara still worries this will be too much for Lena.

She also worries about Alex’s reaction to any kind of rejection.

Of course she worries about her own heart, but she’s way more worried on how Alex could take it.

Alex refused all food at breakfast and Kara had to content with the girl taking a strawberry-oatmeal smoothie and, after Lena noticed Kara’s dilemma, a smashed banana. While Lena cleaned up in the kitchen, Kara tried changing the girl out her diaper and pajamas, and while the change of clothes went smoothly, Alex refused to part from her diaper and it was then made absolutely clear that Alex woke up dropped into her youngest mindspace.

Lena got the gits of it rather quickly and tried to engage the girl in small games like peek-a-boo and singing a silly saucepan song while bouncing the girl on her lap. Alex giggled and gasped at the right moments, even if she kept coughing at times when her giggling became too much, but she lost interest fast, opting to cuddle onto Lena’s chest and pawn at her breasts.

Lena, incredible Lena, took it all in stride and let the girl entertain herself with her boobs, however, when Alex started pulling at her top searching for skin, Kara intervened.

And that’s how they find themselves sitting on the bed, the three of them. Kara and Lena reclined on the headboard and sitting as close as possible while Alex rests on Kara’s lap with her legs thrown across Lena’s. Lena’s hand rest on Alex’s shins and Kara cradles Alex to her, letting her suck gently on her breast as the kid’s hands play with her loose blonde hair.

“… it is okay for me to be here?”

Kara smiles thinly. “I don’t mind. But it’s up to you.”

“But, won’t Alex mind? Won’t she freak out I saw her like this?”

Kara shakes her head, making her hair sway gently and Alex giggles around her nipple. “I honestly don’t know. With how she’s around you, I don’t think she will. But I don’t know.”

Lena sighs and nods.

“Do you want to be here?” Kara asks in a small voice, her heart racing.

“… yeah. I do.”

Kara’s beating heart slows a tad at that. “Then stay.”

Lena nods again, taking a deep breath. “Okay.”

Kara looks down to Alex. The girl’s expression is open and content and Kara can’t help but smile.

“You are beautiful,” Lena says after a moment.

“Uh?”

Lena shifts in position, just enough to face Kara and Alex better. Her hand starts rubbing gently at the kid’s legs and Alex sighs contently. “When you look at her… Watching you nurse… you are beautiful.”

Kara blushes from the chest up, she forces out a smile. “Does that mean every other time I’m not beautiful?”

Lena rolls her eyes amused. “You know what I mean.”

Kara blushes redder. “I don’t.”

Lena smirks and leans enough to kiss Kara softly. She sucks gently on Kara’s lower lip, enjoying the closeness. “You are always beautiful, but today,” she pecks on Kara’s plush lips, “you are radiant.”

She continues her lazy kissing, feeling nothing but ease and calm…

… until a hand comes smash on her face and pushes her away from Kara.

Lena blinks, confused, and she looks at Kara and how her eyes are blinking lazily and how disoriented she seems. She looks down then, to the arm attached to the still pushing hand and is meet with a glaring baby.

She snorts, trying not to offend the kid by laughing out loud.

Kara chuckles too, gently lowering the arm, so Alex stops pressing on Lena. “Easy, Lexie. Don’t push Lee.”

Alex whines in discontent and she wiggles.

“I’m sorry, babygirl,” Lena calls softly. “I promise I won’t steal your _annen_.”

Alex growls low in her chest and both adults have to actively stop the ‘aww’-ing from coming out… Alex’s growl was more of a mewl than anything else and it’s so cute they both feel their insides melt.

“I promise, Lexie,” she continues gently, presenting her pinky to Alex.

Alex’s eyes narrow and, in a swift motion, she lets go of Kara’s nipple and it’s launching to Lena. She hugs the brunette by the neck and straddles her lap, glaring at Kara the whole time.

Both adults are so confused.

“Lexie?” Kara inquires gently.

Alex’s kitten glare intensifies, she hugs Lena tighter and declares resolutely, “Mine.”

Lena can’t help it.

She starts crying.

XxXxX

Lena stares to the ceiling in the living room.

She was right that first day. The couch is not comfortable at all, but it’s wide and perfect to nap on, especially if she is used as mattress for one jealous baby.

Alex is knocked out atop of her and she can’t but dance her fingers along the kid’s spine. Alex’s breathing is a little hitched and she’s coughing an awful lot. She’ll tell Kara Alex is coming down with something, because this is not normal for the girl, but for now, they are both resting.

Her eyes are still sandy from her crying earlier, and she feels exhausted, but, at the same time, she feels with so much more energy than ever before. The fact that Alex is napping is the only thing preventing her from running around like Lexie high on chocolate.

Kara went out. They needed groceries and, given that Alex is still too young and suddenly really attached to Lena, they decided it was best for Kara to go on her own while Lena kept an eye on the girl. Kara promised to bring back her favorite Thai, presumably to make up for the crying, but Kara didn’t understand that Lena was simply happy.

She was so happy at how Alex laid claim on her that she started crying.

And how would Kara understand it, if Lena herself didn’t?

She was just so happy.

And a little worried.

Will Kara get upset?

They didn’t really have the time to discuss her tears, or Alex’s claim, as the girl panicked over the tears and they had to spend almost an hour consoling her. Once the girl was calm, Lena and Alex spent the time coloring together and Kara went out, so Lena is expecting her girlfriend home soon.

Almost as if invoked, Lena hears the jingle of the knob and the door opens a moment later.

Kara enters the house and goes directly into the kitchen, her hands laden with bags and grunting.

Lena looks her girlfriend with small smile. “Multiple trips are for the weak?” she murmurs amused.

Kara beams once she lets the bags drop to the floor noisily. “Of course.”

Lena’s eyes widen. “Kara!” she hisses, mindful of Alex. “Don’t do that!”

Kara’s eyebrows rise. “Why not?”

“The eggs, Kara. The eggs!”

Kara’s eyes widen and she quickly dives in the bags searching for the eggs. Once she gets the cartoon out, she lets out a sigh of relief. “They are fine.”

A small giggle answers her.

“Good morning, little one,” Lena greets the recently awoken girl.

“ _Günaydın_ ,” Alex mumbles scratchily, rubbing her face on Lena’s chest.

Kara starts putting the groceries away, not minding the noise now that Alex is up, and Lena is content to watch Kara do the heavy work while she cuddles their kid.

“ _Anne!”_ Alex grunts, unamused.

“What is it, _minnoş_?” Kara asks from within the pantry.

“ _Günaydın!”_

Lena snorts at the indignation on Alex’s tone and Kara peeks from the pantry to smile amused at Alex and call back, “ _Günaydın, minnoş,_ ” before returning to put everything away.

Alex nods, satisfied, and settles back on Lena’s chest. She sighs happily.

“Still sleepy, babygirl?” Lena asks, resuming her light petting.

Alex yawns as an answer, cuddling deeper on her.

Lena’s hand goes lower, to pat the girl’s butt, making Alex wiggle. “Someone needs a change,” she announces idly, having felt when the girl used the pull-up about ten minutes ago.

Alex nods again, but even so, makes no motion to move at all.

“Kara!” Lena calls. “Come change your kid! I’ll put the groceries away!” Alex whines, clutching at Lena’s top. “Oh, don’t be like that,” Lena chuckles. “We don’t want you to be yucky, do we?”

Kara comes then, an amused smile on her face. “Up, menace,” she says, patting on Alex’s butt. “Let’s get you changed.”

Alex pouts. “Lee,” she demands.

Kara shares a look with Lena, both equally surprised… and Lena not a little panicked.

Kara smiles serenely. “Not this time,” she tickles Alex’s side. “Food will be here soon and Lee’s the one with the money.”

Alex’s sigh is better suited for the gallows. “Otay,” she murmurs dejected, raising on her knees, still straddling Lena and hugging Kara by the neck. “Up.”

Kara picks the girl up. “So lazy,” she complains and Alex giggles as she’s carried away. Kara turns to see Lena and mouths over Alex’s shoulder, “food’s already paid for,” before disappearing from view.

Lena watches them go, amused and bemused… since when Alex wants her to change her?

Lena rises to go keep putting the groceries away. She smiles when she notices her brand of cereal is in there, along the crackers she loves to snack on and the only type of instant coffee she’s willing to drink.

Kara is amazing, getting the things she likes.

Lex’s amused voice whispers in her mind: _U-Haul Lesbian_.

She doesn’t care.

She just hopes Kara asks officially for her to move in soon. Her apartment is tiny and wouldn’t house the three of them and it’s rude to ask to move in together into your partner’s house.

Oh, well, she’ll wait. She has her whole life to wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with Lena's family, but a friend helped me reach this dynamic and I'm pretty happy with it. Lena deserves a good family for once, so I'm giving her that.
> 
> Also, Alex is exhausted and thus she's regressing to her youngest mindset and Lena being around is just another comfort rather than something she has to worry about. Uh. Thinking of it, Lena is the first adult to 'see' Alex. _Anne_ doesn't count cuz she's always been there and for a long time she wasn't an adult, so.
> 
> Either way.
> 
> Lexie is getting more comfortable in her regression, and that makes me happy. She's also officially adopted Lena, so yay!!!
> 
> Turkish used here:  
>  _şekerim_ : literally 'my sugar'. A nickname used for a girlfriend.  
>  _günaydın_ : good morning.
> 
> And talking about the Turkish... should I tone it down with the religious stuff? Kismet readers know I like to give the characters something to believe in, but maybe I bit more than I can chew this time and I should just take a step back. Dunno. That's the impression I got.
> 
> Now, brownie points to the one that manages to pinpoint the 'silly saucepan' song that Lena sung to Alex. I'll put a link in here later on if someone manages to get it, or I'll simply tell you guys if no one is interested in guessing ext chapter.
> 
> Bye for now.


	42. Chapter 42

Lucy blinks, bemused.

“Aren’t you grounded?”

“Officially released today. Lee said a whole month was overkill, so she talked with _annem_ and she lifted my punishment early.”

Lucy shakes her head, amused, and steps to the side to let her friend in. “Luthor is cool.”

“Yes, she is. I told you.”

Lucy rolls her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I was about to have breakfast, want some?”

“Whatcha having?”

“Cereal.”

Alex scrunches up her nose. “You home alone?”

“Yeah. What’s new?”

“Then come over. _Annem_ ’s making crepes and Lena is trying to make Frappuccino.”

Lucy quirks an eyebrow. “Miss Luthor is making Frappuccino?”

“ _Trying_.”

Lucy snorts. “You have Nutella?”

Alex frowns. “I don’t know.”

“Wait here. Lemme put pants and grab the Nutella.”

Alex hums, watching her friend disappear up the stairs.

It’s been months since she’s been inside this house. Lucy is the one always showing up at her place, even though she’d abstained from going since the park’s fiasco… Alex is pretty sure she’s been avoiding _annem_.

Alex rubs at the throat absentmindedly as she waits.

She still remembers the chewing out Lucy received after’s Mike’s party, and she gets it. Sometimes, Alex thinks a spanking is better than being scolded by _annem_. A spanking hurts, but you know you’re forgiven after its done. A scolding just makes you feel bad for days and leaves the lingering doubt of whether you are still in hot water or not.

Corner time and timeouts are good too, even if Alex’s thoughts make it hard to be still and obey, but, just like a spanking, you know you’ve done your time when it’s done and you can keep going on.

Maybe Lucy needs corner time? Or a spanking? Alex knows either will help Lucy approach _annem_ again.

 _Annem_ is not scary like Lucy pretends she is. _Annem_ just likes to keep them safe and sound.

Same with Lena. She’s strict and stern when the situation calls for it, but is the perfect partner in crime… she got her out her punishment early, after all.

“Okay, ready,” Lucy comes from the kitchen, a big jar of Nutella in her hand.

“Cool. If we hurry, we can steal the first ones out the pan.”

Lucy snorts, locking the door once Alex is out and following across the street. “You sound way too excited for crepes.”

Alex pouts, ushering Lucy in the house and kicking off her shoes. “It’s been months since _annem_ made crepes!”

“I’m making them now, aren’t I?” Kara retorts from the kitchen. “Is Lucy with you?” she asks.

“Yeah!” Alex motions for Lucy to follow her once the older girl has ditched her own shoes. “She’s here.”

“Hi, Miss Z,” Lucy waves with a little grimace the moment she sees the blonde. “I brought the good stuff,” she announces presenting the Nutella.

Kara smiles wide. “Amazing! I forgot to buy some yesterday.” She nods to their small dining table. “Set the table, Alex.”

Alex salutes and starts working. Meanwhile, Lucy looks around. If this is what takes to make crepes, she understands why Miss Z wouldn’t like to make them often. There’s a small mountain of dirty dishes in the sink, and the eggs cartoon and milk are out in the counter. The blender’s jar is set aside, what she thinks is the infamous Frappuccino still inside it and resembling more like muddy ice than anything else.

Unprompted, she goes to the sink and starts washing dishes.

Kara sees the older girl work and smiles. Lucy is a good cookie. Maybe a little misguided, just like Alex had been, but good nonetheless.

“Where’s Lena?” Alex asks as she sets the plates.

“She gave up on making the Frappuccino, so she went to Noonan’s to pick up some drinks.”

Alex snorts. If she’s a disaster in the kitchen, Lena is an international emergency. “She’ll be long?”

Kara shakes her head. She smirks. “I placed the order the moment she started struggling with the blender.”

Both Alex and Lucy snigger at that.

“Lucy, you know… about the farm…” Kara starts casually.

Lucy tenses but she keeps washing the dishes. “Ma’am?”

“ _Anne!”_ Alex whines, her voice breaking a little mid word. “You promised!”

Kara rolls her eyes and focused on the older teen. “Alex told me you kept insisting how going to the farm was a bad idea. Thank you, Lucy, for trying. But, next time, please let me know if this one is planning something stupid.”

Some of the tension leaves Lucy’s body and both Kara and she ignore the indignant cry Alex gives them. “You are not mad?” she asks in a murmur.

Kara hums, platting the crepe she just made and preparing the batter for another one. “Not really. I can’t exactly ask you to follow my rules, can I? This one knows her rules and she disobeyed, hence her grounding. You don’t follow my rules, Lucy, so no. I’m not mad.”

Lucy shrugs one shoulder, her eyes down. “Honestly? I don’t have many rules to follow,” she mutters, her tone sad and a little dejected.

Alex comes into the kitchen and attaches to Lucy, hugging her by the waist. “Don’t give _annem_ ideas,” she warns mock seriously. “Or you’ll end up following the same rules I do, and she’ll end up smothering you too.”

“I do not smother you, Alexandra.”

Alex makes her whole body tremble. “See? You’ll get the full name treatment too!” she says in fake despair.

Lucy laughs, any sadness in her gone. “I already do! Lucy is my full name, dimwit.”

Kara’s swats at Lucy’s ear. “Language.”

Alex laughs and nudges her friend. “See?”

Lucy shakes her head, a small smile in her face. “She’s nice, Al.”

“The betrayal!” Alex releases her friend, clutching her chest, wounded.

Kara rolls her eyes at the dramatics. “Keep it up and I’ll ground you again,” she threatens without heat.

Alex motions to Kara, eyes wide. “See what I mean?”

Lucy snorts. “You are a drama queen.” She turns off the tap, finishing with all the dishes. She looks around, seeing how else she can be useful. “Anything else I can do?”

Kara contemplates her, looking her up and down. “You any good in a kitchen?”

Lucy nods. She points to her chest. “Been feeding myself for years now,” she declares proudly.

Both Alex and Kara ignore the sting that statement bring them… although each feel it for different reasons.

“Then come here and help me with these.”

“I don’t know how to make them.”

“I’ll show you, don’t worry.”

Part of Alex wants to feel offended Kara is teaching Lucy something she won’t teach Alex, but Alex also knows that she’s too little to be cooking like Lucy and Kara do… not to mention she is indeed a disaster.

And… well, Lucy is alone all the time, and Alex has _annem_ , and Lena, so she can share for a little while.

The front door opens, and Lena’s heels can be heard. “Someone help me with this!”

Alex jogs to the door to help with whatever Lena brought, a smile on her face.

Yeah. She can share her _annem_ , and maybe her Lena, with Lucy for a little while.

XxXxX

“Why is Thanksgiving important?”

Lucy looks at Alex with an eyebrow raised. “What?”

“Why is Thanksgiving important?” Alex rolls to her back and stretches on the floor, making the plastic tarp under them crinkle. After breakfast Lucy and Alex went upstairs to catch up while the adults went out to do whatever they do when they are on their own.

Lucy said movie with stolen kisses in the dark, but Alex thinks they are too classy for that… and Alex refuses to think of them kissing in any capacity.

They chatted for a while, until they spent all subjects. Lucy spotted one of the kits Lena bought her and decided their next activity was painting by colors.

So, Alex, being responsible and not wanting to endanger her early release, brought out the tarp and they got painting side by side a huge canvas of, supposedly, the Disney Castle.

Alex, nor Lucy, can identify what’s in the canvas, but they are both working carefully not to mess it up.

“I don’t know,” Lucy shrugs. “I guess it’s a time to be with family?”

Alex hums, rolling back onto her stomach and continuing painting.

“Why do you ask?”

“Lee want us to have Thanksgiving this year.”

Lucy frowns. “You’ve never done Thanksgiving?”

“No. That’s why I’m asking.”

“Uh. You’re weird.”

“I know.”

They lapse into silence, each dutifully painting the number they chose.

“You know…” Lucy says quietly. “… ever since mom died, I haven’t celebrated Thanksgiving either. Or Christmas.”

Alex stops painting, just for a second, absorbing that information.

Lucy smiles sadly. “Dad’s never in the house those days and Lois always goes with her fiancé… the year mom died, Lois got engaged, and she keeps claiming it’s too hard for her to be in the house, remembering mom.”

Alex puts her brush down in the glass with water they got from the kitchen. She grabs onto Lucy’s now still brush and puts it away too.

“Wanna talk about it?” Alex asks gently, grabbing Lucy’s hand in hers.

Lucy sighs and shakes her head.

Alex’s head tilts to the side. “Sometimes talking makes things better.”

Lucy snorts. “You don’t really believe that.”

“No. I don’t. But I’m still here if you want to talk.”

Lucy looks at Alex, and that sadness that Alex’s seen in her friend countless times now is back… Lucy’s eyes are always expressive and full of spark, but right now, they look dull and empty.

“I killed her.”

Alex forces her face not to show anything but calmness. The revelation is shocking, but only because she didn’t expect Lucy to voice her burden like that… and because she knows Lucy is seeing things where there are none.

“Can you explain?” she asks softly, just like _annem_ always does when she can’t get what Alex is trying to say.

Uh. Maybe Lucy is a little like herself after all.

Lucy exhales shakily. “She was sick,” she murmurs. “I was home with her… but I didn’t hear her. She fell and I didn’t hear her. I was there, but I didn’t help.”

Lucy’s eyes are glassy, but even so, she doesn’t let her tears fall.

Alex hugs her tight, laying them down far away enough from the painting, but still on the tarp. She hugs the older girl tightly, with both arms and legs.

“You know that’s not true,” Alex murmurs against the brunette’s hair.

Lucy sighs wetly, and yet, she doesn’t cry.

Nor does she agree with Alex.

Alex doesn’t have words of comfort to offer. She knows it wasn’t Lucy’s fault. She knows Ms. Lane died of lung cancer and she died in their home. She knows that Lucy’s mom was sick, so sick, and that she died of that. It was not Lucy’s fault.

But, she also knows what is like to carry a weight you don’t know how to shed.

She knows how it is to know in your head it wasn’t your fault… but at the same time, she knows what it is to believe in your heart it is, indeed, your fault.

She knows that feeling too well.

So, she hugs Lucy, their barely started painting a foot away. She tries to convey that no matter what, Alex is there for her.

But, she can’t delude herself.

She’s just Alex.

She won’t be enough to help.

Even so, she just hugs Lucy, feeling how her friend shakes, barely, as she silently tries to put herself back together.

XxXxX

“Wake up, Al. Al. Al, wake up.”

Alex groans, curling onto herself, fleeing the insistent pushing on her shoulder.

Her eyes flow open in a flash, panicky and she sits up in a flash.

There’s wetness spread in her crotch and legs.

Why?

She knows she can’t keep it in when she’s asleep, but she wears protection and she’s aware enough to notice that it’s daytime, so it’s pull-ups time and those don’t leak…

“Al?”

Alex blinks, slowly, focusing on the girl in front of her. “Lucy?”

Alex remembers breakfast with Lucy, and talking with Lucy. She remembers Lucy wanting to paint by numbers… she remembers talking a little about Lucy’s mom.

She kinda remembers falling asleep, still hugging the other girl.

And, given the red marks on Lucy’s cheek, she can tell Lucy fell asleep too.

“Are you okay?” Lucy asks in a small voice. “You were trashing around.”

Alex remembers all that happened before falling asleep, but she can’t remember her dreams… which is good. Most of the time, she doesn’t remember her dreams, and when she does, they are no doubt nightmares, so she rather doesn’t remember that.

“Yeah,” Alex answers, voice scratchy. “Yeah.”

Lucy’s eyes go down to her crotch and Alex is reminded of why she woke in such a panic.

Alex eyes fill with tears. She never wanted Lucy to see her like this. “’M sorry,” she whispers.

Lucy frowns and scoots away from Alex, just enough to see her clearly. “Alex?” she murmurs. “What’s wrong?”

Alex hugs her legs to her chest, crossing her ankles to hide the evidence of her accident. “I didn’t get you wet, right?” she asks in a small whisper. That’s the last thing she needs… making a mess out of Lucy too.

Lucy shakes her head. “No, Alex…” She slides closer to the younger girl. “Hey, Alex, you’re shaking.”

Alex whimpers, and tries to force her body to still.

It doesn’t work.

She starts shaking harder.

Lucy frowns and places a hand on her knee, the skin under her hand is too warm. Alex flinches.

“Alex…”

There’s a knock on the door before it’s pushed open. “Hey girls,” Kara peeks in. “We brought lun- Alex?”

“We just woke up.” Lucy murmurs as Kara comes into the room and kneels by Alex. “She was having a nightmare.”

Kara sighs, hugging Alex to her chest and not minding the wetness at all. “Shhh, _minnoş,_ I’m here.”

Lucy frowns unsettled. “Will she be alright?”

Kara nods. “Yeah, she will.” Kara pulls Alex on her lap and starts rocking her. “Why don’t you go downstairs and tell Lena we’ll be a while? We brough Chick-fil-A.”

Lucy nods back, still out of sort. “I’ll go home.”

Kara looks at her weirdly. “You’re staying for lunch.”

Lucy blinks, confused. “I am?”

“Yes. We brought you a Cool Wrap,” she says easily, adjusting her grip on Alex, so the kid can cling to her easily.

Lucy’s frown deepens, still confused. “Thanks…”

Kara frowns back. “Hey, this one said it’s your favorite, but if you don’t want that, we also brought nuggets to share.”

Lucy rubs at her eye. “S’not that.” She shakes her head. “I’ll see Miss L,” she mumbles, making a hasty retreat.

Kara sighs and looks down at her kid.

Alex falling asleep out of the blue is weird, although she can admit the week had been hard enough on the girl to prompt her to sleep more than usual.

She makes a mental note to talk with Alex about her being in pull-ups during the day now too. At least on those days Alex’s mindspace leans towards her toddler space the most.

This is the second time it’s happened, and she knows Alex has had a handful of close calls already, not to mention that day she had to go to school to bring the girl a change of panties… she rather err on the side of caution and put the girl in those for the time being.

“Oh, Lexie,” she mumbles against the kid’s temple. “Let’s take a shower, _minnoş._ ”

Alex nods, cuddling closer to Kara. “She mad,” she whispers gently.

“Oh, no, love. She wasn’t mad. Maybe a bit confused, but not mad.”

Or at least, Kara hoped so.

Lucy is a good friend to Alex, and she’d hate for their friendship to end because of something that Alex can’t control.


	43. Chapter 43

_“Anne!”_

Kara whines, rolling away from the warmth at her side and climbing to her feet.

_“Anne!”_

Lena opens an eye, groaning to herself and burrowing deeper in the makeshift mattress.

Kara stumbles out of their cocoon, almost tripping with a blanket tangled on her foot.

Lena sighs deeply, ready to go back to sleep.

…

“Lena.”

Lena whimpers. This will be the second night in a row they are not able to sleep.

“Bring towels and a bucket of water, please.” Kara’s voice sounds just like Lena feels: totally exhausted and a little panicked.

After Alex woke from her impromptu nap with Lucy it was made clear she came down with something. Her temperature has kept high and she’s puking what feels like all the time. She complains about her throat and head and the times she’s not napping, she’s softly crying or puking.

Honestly, Lena never thought she’d end up double teaming with _anyone_ to take care of a sick kid.

Not even Leah, her nice, whom she adores, has managed to make her stick around when she’s sick.

But… this is _Alex._

She gets up and goes to fetch the towels from the bathroom and the bucket she left there not two hours ago. This is the third time Alex wakes up in the middle of her own puke and Kara and Lena know it won’t be the last tonight. Reason why they decided to nest in the floor beside Alex’s bed.

It doesn’t help that Alex refuses to see a doctor and that Kara, stupid, deluded, just dumb, irrational, Kara, is seconding her.

Lena is sure a couple of shots would make everything better.

“Here,” Lena murmurs once she’s back with clean towels and the asked bucket.

Kara smiles tiredly at her, holding onto the sulky Alex’s hand after her latest puking spell. “Thanks, love.”

Lena slides behind Alex, pulling the groaning girl against her chest in a move she’s been practicing the last couple of nights. She positions the kid between her legs, gently combing her hair back with her fingers.

Kara settles before them, gently wiping Alex’s face and chest from her illness.

“Kara…” Alex whimpers, surprising both Lena and Kara.

It’s been a while since Alex’s been out of headspace and it worries the adults why that might be.

“Yes, babe?”

“Make it stop,” Alex groans out. “Please. I’m tired.”

Kara sighs and shares a desperate look with Lena over Alex’s shoulder.

“We should go to a doctor,” Lena mumbles, kissing the side of Alex’s head.

“No!” Comes the response in stereo.

It’s then Lena’s turn to sigh. Both of her girls are so stubborn. “Then you’ll have to face this with minimal medicine, sweetie.”

Alex whimpers at that statement, but nods all the same.

“… a shot or two would really help…”

Alex turns in her arms and glares at her over her shoulder.

“Fine,” Lena sighs, this time in defeat.

“You need a shower, Al,” Kara comments, rinsing a towel in the bucket of warm water. “You’ll feel better. We’ll change your sheets while you’re at it.”

Alex shakes her head.

“Kara’s right, Alex, you’ll feel better with a shower. We’ll tidy here.”

Alex moves around, enough that she can sit sideways between Lena’s legs and as far away from the muck in her bed as possible. She switches her gaze between the adults. “I don’t wanna go alone.”

Kara nods. “Sure, I can go with you.” It’s obvious Lexie is not here, but that doesn’t make anything weird.

She would still bathe teen Alex and help her change and take care of her.

She’s still _Alex_.

Alex bites her lip, looking back at Lena. “… is it weird I kinda want both of you there?” she asks in a small voice.

Lena and Kara share a surprised look.

Little Alex has made no effort to hide she wants Lena to change her diaper and give her baths, but until now no one in their little family has voiced that fact… and it’s incredible it’s Alex the first to mention it.

Lena and Kara have spoken plenty about it and Lena’s thoughts are clear to them: Lena is elated little Alex trusts her enough to ask and she’s also nervous that Alex would freak out over it once she’s out of headspace.

It looks like Lena had nothing to worry about.

All of Alex’s facets are on board with bonding with Lena like that.

“Not weird at all, angel,” Lena answers, pressing a kiss to the girl’s temple. “I think a shower will make us all feel better.”

Alex nods, relaxing against Lena’s front. “Love you, guys,” she murmurs tiredly.

Lena beams and Kara can’t help but smile tenderly. “We love you too, babygirl.”

XxXxX

In the end, taking a shower the three of them ends up not being a good idea. Not only does Alex drops as she’s taking off her clothes, they realize a little too late that their shower is too small to fit them all comfortably, so, Kara ends up in the tub with Alex on her lap while Lena gently washes the kid.

It’s comforting and soothing and just tranquil.

Alex busies herself playing with the bubbles with one hand, the other firmly in her mouth sucking her thumb as she blinks heavily and deeply.

The sleepless nights are taking a toll on her and the fact she’s not eating isn’t helping at all.

“Should we call Nia?” Lena asks, pouring warm water over Alex’s front.

Kara shakes her head. “She’s off to a congress. She’s not picking up her phone.”

Alex’s breathing evens out, indicating to her adults that she’s out for the moment.

“Please, let’s take her to a doctor.”

Kara grimaces. “No. She’s scared of them.”

Lena rolls her eyes and stands to grab the last clean towel. She returns and takes out the plug from the tub. “You are scared of them and you’re passing that fear down to her.”

Kara shakes her head. “Yes and no. I mean, I am scared. But she’s terrified. She had to go for check-ups every other month until she was like twelve and I’m sure those visits scarred her for life.”

Lena frowns. “What?”

Kara sighs deeply. “Alex was born with a weird heart condition. She went through a couple of surgeries before she came live with us. See this?” She traces a faint line on Alex’s chest that Lena hadn’t noticed until then. “This is from her last surgery when she was two. She made a full recovery, but she still needed to drop by the hospital often. I was never allowed to go with her, so I don’t know why she’s so scared, and she won’t tell me… so, please, no hospitals and no doctors.”

Lena shakes her head. “No, Kara. It doesn’t matter if she’s terrified. If her fever reaches 102, I don’t care if you dump me. I’m taking her to a hospital.”

Kara glares at Lena, but she knows this is one she cannot win. She just need to make sure Alex’s temp doesn’t reach that high. “Fine.”

Once the water is gone, Kara and Lena maneuver Alex into the fluffy towel and Lena carries her with some effort out into Kara’s bedroom while Kara sorts herself in the bathroom.

Alex whines the moment she’s deposited on the bed and Lena rubs a gentle hand on the girl’s tummy. “Easy, love.”

Kara comes into the room then, patting herself dry with a hand towel.

They really need to wash their towels soon.

“Wanna try?” Kara offers a diaper to Lena and nods to Alex.

Lena’s eyebrow quirks. “She won’t mind?”

“She asked to shower with you. In her oldest mindset. I really don’t see how this will bother her at all.”

Lena nods. That’s a really good point.

“Want me to show you?” Kara asks then.

Lena snorts unamused and does a quick work of diapering the sleeping Alex, with baby powder and rash cream included.

At Kara’s surprised expression, she shrugs. “I have a niece, remember? I got to babysit a lot when she was young.”

Kara nods and easily arranges Alex on their bed, forgoing any clothes other than her diaper. The bath helped with the fever, but she’s still too warm to the touch and she doesn’t want Lena to take her away. “How old is she?”

“She’s turning fourteen this year.”

“I bet she’s cute like you.”

Lena’s nose scrunches up and the move is so Alex, Kara can’t help but peck her lips, still annoyed at her.

“What was that for?” Lena asks the moment she’s let go.

“Just,” Kara answers simply. “You were talking about your niece?”

Lena shakes her head, trying to get rid of the frustration her girlfriend’s action brought her. “Leah. She’s nothing like me. She takes after her mother.”

Kara climbs next to Alex, snuggling behind the girl as Lena does the same on the other side of the bed. “What do you mean?”

“She’s blonde and a Red Bulls fan.”

Kara fakes a gasp, intentionally trying to lighten the air between them. “What’s wrong with being blonde?”

Lena mock leers, knowing exactly what Kara is doing and approving. The last thing they need is to be angry at each other while Alex is sick. “Your lot likes soccer.”

“First, it’s called football, the Americans are wrong about it. Second, football is way superior to _football_. And third, is she nuts? The NC Galaxy is the best team.”

Lena snorts. “Sure, babe. Keep telling yourself the superior sport isn’t _football._ ”

Kara rolls her eyes. “I just told you so. Football is superior to all. Aren’t you a Brit? Shouldn’t you like football? And call it the proper way?”

Lena shrugs, all mock fight – and annoyance – leaving her body and she smiles tenderly. “Mama’s a huge Giant’s fan. The only reason she doesn’t own the team is that she can’t convince John Mara to part with it. It kinda rubbed on Lex and I.”

Kara smiles just as tenderly. She reaches over Alex’s snoring form to squeeze her hand. “You love your mama,” she murmurs.

She’s heard Lena talk plenty of both her mom and her mama, but she’s always noticed that when she’s speaking of Lillian Luthor, Lena’s whole face lifts and her eyes shine.

“Yeah. She’s the best.”

Alex mumbles in her sleep, nibbling on her thumb.

The attention is shifted to the kid between them. “I bought her some dummies,” Lena comments suddenly, as if it’s something that’s mentioned every day.

“Wait. What?”

Lena blushes faintly. “Sorry,” she mutters. “Talking about mama reminded me of the dummies I bought Alex.”

Kara shakes her head. “You are weird, _şeker_.”

Lena shrugs. “I was going to give them to her before she got sick.”

Kara peeks down at Alex. She can admit Alex’s thumb sucking habit has grown steadily since she started, and Kara has seen some of the skin of her thumb peeling around the nail. “I think those would be a good idea,” she admits.

“I’ll give them to her tomorrow,” Lena says around a yawn.

Kara yawns back. “Sleep now.”

Lena nods. With luck, they’ll be able to sleep until morning.

XxXxX

“What dis?”

Kara chuckles and keeps rocking Alex slightly. “Why don’t you open the box and find out?”

They were not lucky and Alex woke up two more times during the night. Thankfully, the girl didn’t puke then, only complained over her sore throat and hurting tummy. Now that the sun is up and Lena needs to head to work in the next half hour, they decided to simply leave the bed and try to keep Alex awake long enough that her next nap would last as long as possible.

If Alex manages to sleep more than three hours straight, it’ll be a win.

Alex looks at the small Amazon box and then to Lena. “Bottle?” It’s become a pattern that whenever Lena gives the girl something, be it books, paints or toys, it always comes with one of those soft tipped bottles that Alex is in love with.

Lena smiles ruefully. “I’m sorry, angel. We’ve bought them all already. This is another thing altogether.”

Alex pouts at that information and sighs heavily.

Kara bounces the kid on her lap in silent reprimand. “Hey, be nice.”

Alex’s pout deepens. “Thank you, Lee.”

Lena chuckles and kneels before her two girls sitting on the couch. “Why don’t you open it? I think you’ll find what’s in there really interesting.”

Alex nods and opens the box easily, Lena having already cut through the tape and washed the gifts inside. “Lee?” she blinks, confused.

Lena takes a soft blue pacifier from the box and presents it to Alex. “When I was your age, Lexie, I couldn’t be without my dummy. I thought you might like to try one and give your poor thumb a rest.”

Alex’s nose twitches and both adults note that she didn’t scrunch it up.

Little Alex is interested.

“’M no baby.”

Kara giggles and Lena smiles fondly. “But you are our little girl,” Lena says softly. “And sometimes little girls like their dummies.”

Alex looks scandalized at Lena and Kara can’t help but chuckle. It is indeed weird when Lena calls the things dummies.

“ _Annem_ no dummy,” Alex says with a frown, letting them know the kid didn’t understand what Lena said.

Lena snorts as Kara chokes on silent laughter. She waves the pacifier in the air. “This is a dummy, Lexie.”

“Paci.”

“Dummy.”

“Paci.”

“… fine, paci. Will you try it?”

Alex stares at the plastic object in Lena’s hand for a solid minute before shrugging and opening her mouth slightly.

Lena takes the cue and gently pops the pacifier in Alex’s mouth.

Alex gives it an experimental suck and her eyes widens. She gives it another suckle and then she beams at Lena.

Lena chuckles. “You approve, angel?”

Alex nods, grinning behind the plastic.

“Those are some big pacis,” Kara comments, peeking in the box and seeing that, indeed, the plastic soothers are bigger than average. “Also, did you have to buy the whole store?”

Lena snorts as Alex picks another one of the pacifiers to examine it. “If she likes them, you’ll see that she’ll lose them everywhere. We need to have some on hand for when that happens.”

Alex takes the pacifier from her mouth and switches it to one with a small skull on it. The teat of that one is slightly different from the one Lena gave her and she frowns lightly, before switching again to the Frozen blue one.

“See? Not all of them are the same,” Lena keeps answering Kara’s question. “I bought different models to see which she prefers.”

Alex leans forward and hugs Lena by the neck. “Dank you,” she slurs. “Wove ‘em!”

Lena smile hugely at that. “I’m so glad, babygirl. Now, be a darling and try them all so you can tell me which you like most when I get back from work, yes?”

Alex’s lip starts to wobble. “Do ‘ork.”

Lena bops her nose. “Yes work.” She kisses Alex between her eyes. “You’ll be a good girl for _annen_ and I’ll come home before you realize it.”

Alex attaches herself to Lena again, squeezing her tight. “No work!” she yells, spitting her pacifier in the process.

Lena’s eyes narrow. She slaps the side of Alex’s leg. “We don’t yell, Alex” she says in her scary principal voice.

Kara watches it all with a small smile. It’s nice seeing Alex misbehaving with Lena for once.

She’s starting to get tired of being the bad cop around.

Alex’s eyes start to water.

“Ah-ah,” Lena chides. “No crocodile tears, Alexandra.”

Alex sniffs, but turns off her waterworks.

“Good girl. Now, I need to leave soon, can I have a goodbye kiss?”

Alex pouts and pulls away.

Lena sighs and nods. “Okay.” She presses her lips to the side of Alex’s head before kissing Kara softly. “Call me if you need anything.”

Kara pecks her lips again. “Sure thing, _şeker_. I’ll try to feed this one and then put her down for a nap.”

Alex grunts at that, not amused to be talked about as if she wasn’t there.

Lena places a hand on the girl’s head. “We know you feel icky, Lexie, but try to be good for your _annen_ , okay?”

Alex crosses her arms in answer.

Kara smiles amused at Lena’s disgruntled expression. It is indeed rare Alex doesn’t do as Lena says on the first try.

Lena glares mildly back at Kara, knowing what’s crossing through her mind. “I’m leaving now,” she announces.

Kara pecks her lips once more. “Have a nice day, babe.”

“You too.”

Lena rises then and starts for the foyer when Alex’s hand catches her by the wrist.

“Lexie?”

Alex’s sulky mouth turns into a pout and she tugs at Lena’s hand. “Kiss,” she demands.

Lena smiles. “Of course.” She kisses the girl’s brow. “Try to sleep, babygirl and you’ll feel better.”

Alex nods and, in a movement that neither adult expected, she plants a small kiss on Lena’s lips.

Lena blinks, surprised, as a rush of affection flushes through her body.

“Bye,” Alex mumbles and she picks up another one of the pacifiers from the box, popping it in her mouth and cuddling back into Kara.

Kara beams up at Lena.

After a beat, Lena beams back.

Damn she’s a lucky gal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me love soft Alex with her Lena. *sigh*
> 
> So, pacis - dummies? - are now part of their routine. Took me long enough, uh?
> 
> Also, Alex has now made it clear she wants her Lee to take care of her too. Such a darling girl, her.


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took a little longer.
> 
> Had to tweak some stuff around, but now it'll help the plot more!

Lucy is worried.

Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday came and went and she’s starting to get more than worried, given that Alex hasn’t shown up for classes.

She’s also not answering the countless texts Lucy’s sent her.

That’s why she ends up at Miss Luthor’s office at lunch time on Thursday.

“Come in,” Miss Luthor calls after she’s knocked.

Lucy opens the door and is greeted by a woman that could define the word exhausted.

Miss Luthor’s hair is down and the only place she’s seen that is at Alex’s house, as Miss Luthor is always wearing it in a tight ponytail and the occasional high bun. Her outfit is also weird. Lucy’s used to seeing their principal in slacks, suits and tight skirts. There was one memorable football game where Miss Luthor showed up in the school’s jersey and tight black pants, but that was an end of the season game, a big game, so it doesn’t really count, as everybody was a little crazy that day.

Lucy’s never seen Miss Luthor in plain jeans and a sleeveless blouse. She’s also missing her usual heels, and is now wearing a pair of… rainbow Converses?

“Lucy, one minute,” Miss Luthor requests and keeps pacing the length of her office, speaking on her phone.

Lucy comes inside the room and closes the door. She leans against the wall and observes her principal.

It’s a blessing she’s seen Miss Luthor off the clock a handful of times now, otherwise, she’s sure she’d die of shock at seeing her so… casual.

“… I know, love,” Miss Luthor sighs in the phone. “I know. I’ll wrap up here as soon as school is over.”

Lucy frowns. It looks like Miss Luthor is speaking with Miss Zorel. That’s weird and shocking in so many levels.

She’s known Miss Zorel almost for as long as she’s known Alex, and she’s only known the blonde to date the one guy. She knows Alex’s mom is bi, as she’s met Nia and Alex has always taken the opportunity to talk about Miss Zorel and what she does and doesn’t… but well, going from knowing that fact to knowing the two scariest women she’s ever known are doing the dirty…

Lucy shudders.

Brain don’t go there.

Miss Luthor sighs again. “You know what I think Kara.” Yup, she’s talking with Alex’s mom. “Yes, babe. See you later.”

Lucy watches intrigued as Miss Luthor hangs up and practically collapses on her chair.

“Come sit, Lucy,” she says. “What can I do for you?”

Lucy fidgets, but goes to do as prompted. “I’m worried about Alex,” she answers without preamble. “She’s not answering my texts and her light is off at night… is she alright?”

Miss Luthor smiles thinly. “She’s sick, Lucy. Got the flu.”

Lucy’s eyes widen. “How sick?”

“Sick enough to be throwing up every couple of hours. We set up camp in the living room. She kept making a mess in her bedroom.”

Lucy winces.

“Yes.”

“… did she go to the doctor?” Lucy asks, knowing well enough the answer already. Last time she hinted Alex going to a doctor to see her bruised knuckles, she was given a swift punch to the stomach with said knuckles.

Lena shakes her head. “She won’t let us.” Lena sighs deeply.

Lucy looks away, thinking deep and hard. She regards Miss Luthor after a little while.

Maybe there’s a way she can help. She knows people and she knows people who knows people.

But, is this a chance she’s willing to take?

Alex trusts Miss Luthor… and Alex doesn’t trust easily. That’s something Lucy is well aware of. She might’ve met Alex first than any in their group, but it took her hanging out with her them for months before Alex started considering her okay in her books.

Although, that might also be because the first time she met Alex they were both locked in a cage trying to beat the shit out of each other…

Either way, Alex trusts this woman and the times Lucy’s seen Miss Luthor outside of school, she’s seen a really cool person, always taking Alex’s side… even against Miss Zorel. That one time Alex wanted to eat her tenth sticky bun? Totally encouraged by Miss Luthor.

So, Lucy makes the decision to trust her too.

“I can get you some meds, if you want,” Lucy says softly, just loud enough for the other woman to hear her but low enough to still plead ignorance if asked.

Miss Luthor’s eyebrows rise. “Oh?”

Lucy fidgets with the hem of her skirt. “Yeah. I can get you meds if you want… to help Alex feel better sooner.”

Miss Luthor leans forward, resting her elbow on the desk and perching her chin on her raised hand. “And I guess these medicines are not over the counter ones?”

Lucy shakes her head, minutely. The emerald eyes looking at her are piercing and suddenly, she gets why Sara and Kate are scared shitless of this woman.

It almost feels like Miss Luthor can see into her soul and decipher her secrets. secrets she definitely does not want shared.

She looks away.

“Look at me, Lucy,” Miss Luthor sighs when her eyes are back on the principal. “I appreciate the offer, Lucy,” she says, her eyes hard but tone soft. “But I’ll pretend you just didn’t offer your _principal_ illegal drugs, okay?”

Lucy swallows and nods frantically.

“Good.” Miss Luthor whole face changes to a more open one. “Now, don’t worry about Alex. She’s better today than she was on Monday, and with lots of fluids and rest she’ll be fine by Friday.”

“Yes, Miss Luthor.”

“I’ll let Alex know you asked after her. Maybe she’ll feel better soon and she’ll text back.”

“Thank you, Miss Luthor.”

Miss Luthor smiles and Lucy is shocked over how that small action manages to change the woman’s whole demeanor. She looks open and trusting, even if the bags under her eyes let Lucy know that Alex’s sleepless nights are affecting her too. “You are a good girl, Lucy. Thank _you_.”

Lucy blushes at the compliment, knowing that’s not true at all. “’S nothing.”

Miss Luthor hums. “Of course is it. But, now that you are here… how are _you_?”

Lucy blushes hotter and fidgets. Since when the principal asks after the students this way? “Miss? What do you mean?”

Miss Luthor narrows her eyes slightly… “You know you can call me Lena, right? It’s not like we don’t know a little about each other.”

Lucy’s blush threatens to burst a vessel. “… ma’am… no…”

Miss Luthor mock glares. “Why ever not?”

Lucy fidgets again, she’s never liked it when adults look at her that way. That look almost always spells pain for her. “… you’re my principal…”

“And? Believe it or not, some students do call me Lena. Ask your friends Misses Kane and Lance.”

Lucy… didn’t know that. She knows Kate and Sara are scared shitless of the principal, she just didn’t know they were also chummy with her. But, still. “I can’t.”

Miss Luthor’s glare disappears. “Why? You can tell me.”

Lucy shrugs pained. She can’t really tell her the reason why, she goes to her usual excuse. “You are like Alex’s mom… it’d be wrong.” She looks away again. “Miss Z always told me to call her Kara… I just can’t. I’m sorry.”

Miss Luthor smiles with a small blush on her own. “That’s okay, Lucy. Thank you for telling me how you feel. Now, answer me… how are you feeling? You left lunch on Sunday a little down.”

Lucy keeps her eyes away. “I’m fine…”

“I sense a but in there, Lucy. Would you tell me what’s in your mind? Some of your teachers have mentioned you’re spacing out in their classes a lot lately.”

Lucy’s blush comes back with a vengeance. “You keep tabs on all students like that?” she asks, a little defensively.

Miss Luthor nods. “Of course I do. This is a small enough school I can manage it. And, I’m not going to lie… I’ve seen you’re a bright girl, so of course I’m a little more interested in you than, say, Mister Matthews.”

Lucy snorts at that. It’s refreshing seeing that Miss Luthor doesn’t care for the meatball that’s Mike… not like many of the other professors, that’s it. “Thanks… I guess.”

Miss Luthor shakes her head amused. “Now, are you going to finally answer me?” Lucy looks down then. “What’s bothering you?”

“… it’s just…” Lucy sighs. She looks at Miss Luthor… so far, so far she can understand how Alex trusts her…

She’s easy to talk to. She listens. Miss Luthor actually cares. She is scary, sure, but Lucy thinks she can admit now that it’s more of a reputation than exactly how the woman is.

Although she’d pay good money to see Miss Luthor tear a new one in Kate or Sara. She needs to know how the principal made them cry…

… Maybe it is because, suddenly, disappointing this woman feels just _wrong._

Will Lucy take the plunge?

“Please, Lucy, I want to help.”

Lucy takes a deep breath. No, she’s not ready. She doesn’t think she’s ready. So, she just brings the conversation around. “I’m worried about Alex,” she says in a rush. “There’s something weird going on with her.”

Miss Luthor’s eyebrow raises. “Oh? Can you explain?”

Lucy shifts in place. This is something that has been in her mind, but she still feels bad for throwing Alex under the bus. But, well, at least Miss Luthor is fond of Alex and so far she thinks Miss Luthor won’t kill Alex. “I’ve known her for a couple of years now… and she’s different. Not bad different, no, but… well… she’s off? She doesn’t drink anymore… she won’t do drugs with me no matter what, but, like, she used to be a party animal and now she’s not.” She grimaces. “I’m not saying being a party animal is right, just… she’s not the same Alex I met and Sunday…”

Miss Luthor comes around the desk and sits on the chair besides her. She takes one of Lucy’s hands in hers. “And Sunday…?” she prompts.

Lucy stares at the hand holding hers. “She was acting different… she had an accident,” she mumbles. “She wet herself.” She looks up into emerald, blazing eyes. “The Alex I know wouldn’t do that… but she’s also different and… and I’m worried something’s wrong. The last time I saw her like that, Max roofied her and I’m worried she’s doing drugs or something.”

“Drugs?”

Lucy nods. “Yes. She’s acting really weirdly. Like, sometimes she just stares into space… sometimes we’ve been talking and then she’d just get distracted. She flinched the other day when Kate slammed her tray in the table. The Alex I know wouldn’t do that. She’s also fidgety… like, all the time. She shifts in place a lot, and she keeps biting her fingers. That’s something I’ve only seen drugged Alex do.”

Miss Luthor searches in her eyes, and she squeezes Lucy’s hand softly. “Have you two done many drugs?”

Lucy looks away from the intensity in her gaze. She’s already started talking, so she needs to stick to her decision and keep sharing… but, well, that doesn’t make it easier. “Not really,” she mumbles. “We’ve tried most of everything together, but Alex doesn’t do well with drugs and I stick to weed most of the time… She usually takes care of me when I hit the harder stuff,” she admits to the scary woman.

Miss Luthor nods and Lucy sees from the corner of her eye the small frown on her face. She winces.

“Thank you for telling me. I’m not too happy you two have tried the stuff, but I’m glad you are responsible enough to take care of each other. Now, I can tell you with all honesty, Alex is not doing drugs of any kind, so you don’t need to worry over that.”

Lucy frowns. “But…”

“I understand she’s different from what you’ve come to know. I do. But Alex’s in no drugs.” Miss Luthor uses her fingers to force Lucy’s chin up. “You are an amazing friend, Lucy, but you don’t need to worry, okay? That’s Kara’s, and mine, job.”

Lucy frowns at that. “… are you sure?”

Miss Luthor smiles and nods. “Talk to Alex, she’ll let you know nothing’s wrong, okay?”

Lucy nods back. “Okay… thanks, Miss L.”

“You are very welcome, Lucy. Now, run along, you need to eat something before the bell rings.”

Lucy grimaces. “It’s okay. I’m not hungry.”

Miss Luthor contemplates her for a moment, before rising and going behind her desk. Lucy can hear the rustling of a paper bag and soon enough the older brunette is back with an apple and a Tupperware in hand.

“Here,” the older woman says. “Kara stress cooks believe it or not. I got doubles today.”

Betraying her, Lucy’s stomach rumbles at the sight of the food.

Miss Luthor smiles. “Go on,” she says, dropping the items in her hands. “Go do whatever you do when it’s lunch time and eat.”

Lucy flushes for what seems like the hundredth time. “Thank you,” she mumbles. “I’ll drop the container off later today.”

Miss Luthor nods. She looks Lucy up and down. “If Alex feels better by then, maybe you could hang out with her? She’s starting to get cabin fever.”

Lucy snickers. “Sure thing. She’s always been an outdoorsy kind of gal. She’s never liked being inside.”

“Thank you. Now. Shoo.”

Lucy stands with her food in hand and gives Miss Luthor a beaming smile. “See you later!” she says cheerfully.

No doubt Miss Luthor will be at Alex’s today too.

“See you later, Lucy.”

Lucy leaves the office with a slight spring to her walk and a lighter heart.

Alex is sick, yes, but she’s also okay. She’s being taken care of and she’ll bounce back just like she did every time her body decided to nope out.

She wants school and work to be over soon. She misses her friend.

XxXxX

“Lucy suspects.”

Kara stops her stirring to look towards the living room and the two bodies laid on the couch.

Alex is using Lena as her personal mattress again and the brunette is happy to just hold the girl close, combing her fingers through the relaxed girl’s hair. Alex feels better today, her fever has gone down considerably and she’s actually spent the day in her older mindset, catching up with the homework Lena dutifully brought home daily.

And Alex being in her older mindset is the reason why is the moment Lena voices what’s on her mind.

“Suspects?” Kara asks for both Alex and herself.

Lena scratches lightly on Alex’s scalp. “Yeah. She came to the office today and was asking questions over Alex’s behavior.” She peeks down to see said girl’s nose wrinkling. “Don’t worry, babygirl. I didn’t tell her anything… but I think you can trust her with this.”

Alex sighs, burrowing deeper in Lena’s chest. “No wanna.”

Lena frowns slightly. It looks like Alex dropped… and just because of the topic they are touching. “Why not, sweetie?”

“Scared.”

Yes. Alex’s dropped. She has her thumb in mouth now and she refuses to meet Lena’s eyes, just cuddling closer.

Lena looks over to Kara who is trying to make cookies… for the tenth time today, if the charred remains and the smoky smell in the house is any indication.

“What do you think?” Lena asks her girlfriend, absentmindedly switching the thumb for one of the discarded pacifiers that have grown to litter wherever Alex decides to stay for too long.

“About Lucy knowing Alex’s a baby?”

“’M no ‘aby.”

Lena softly cups Alex’s butt and rubs at the padding there. After yet another close call, it was decided by the three of them that, at least at home, Alex will wear her pull-ups all the time.

They’ll reconsider if that’s something that needs to happen when she goes out the house at a later date. Although both adults think that’s the best course of action, Alex’s still not sold to the idea.

“I think you _are_ a little girl, angel, don’t you think?”

Alex whines and that’s confirmation enough.

Kara hums. “Well… she’s Alex’s friend, so I guess it’s up to Alex.”

Alex wiggles and clutches at Lena’s blouse. Lena responds by rubbing her hand up and down Alex’s back. “I know that.” She looks down to Alex, who is peeking, barely, up to her. “But… do you want to?”

Alex shakes her head. “No.”

“Why not?”

“She mad.”

“I didn’t get mad, love.”

“Yeah, but you’re special,” Kara butts in and Alex nods in agreement.

Lena hums, blushing. “I’m not that special. But yeah, we’ll keep it a secret.” She presses a kiss on Alex’s forehead. “Just, be aware she suspects, okay, angel?”

“Ye.”

“She said she’ll come by later. School’s been out for a while, wonder where she is.”

“P’actice,” Alex supplies around her pacifier.

“Practice?” Lena asks, just to make sure she got the word right. Alex nods. “Cheerleader practice?”

Alex nods again. “Ye.”

Lena frowns.

Cheerleader practice is only Mondays and Wednesdays. Lucy can’t be at practice if there is no practice.

“Are you sure that’s where she is, babygirl?”

Alex nods again, this time with a confused frown on her face.

Lena shrugs to herself.

Maybe she got her dates wrong or coach decided to have the kids practice more.

She makes a mental note to ask Lucy about it when she gets home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this house we love one Lucy Lane.
> 
> She deserves the world and we'll give it to her.
> 
> At some point.


	45. Chapter 45

Fever and illness gone, it’s decided Alex will stay the rest of the week home so she can recover fully and go back Monday fresh and ready to tackle whatever school demands of her.

It’s a good call, because Friday, the day Alex was supposed to go back, is also the day Alex decides to wake up attached to Kara’s nipple.

It’s a little confusing for both Lena and Kara, waking up early so Lena can head to work, to find the little girl has wormed her way between their bodies during the night and also had somehow lifted Kara’s shirt enough to get a proper latch. It’s also really bothersome for Kara that she didn’t feel it happening.

“Love what…?” Lena asks in a murmur, voice still laced with sleep. “When…?”

Every time Alex comes in their bed, one or the other feels it and wakes up accordingly, welcoming the girl and making sure she’s comfortable.

“I have no idea,” Kara squeaks. Because, really, Kara is still freaked out over how she didn’t feel Alex’s rather strong sucking until now.

They are aware Lena’s alarm was the responsible for waking them up, so it can’t be that Alex just got in their bed.

The slight soreness Kara can feel attests to that too. This girl has been sucking for a while now.

“Maybe we were too tired?” Lena ventures timidly.

Taking care of a fussy, ill Alex is never fun. Having Lena around to help with half the work was a blessing, but this is also the longest Alex has been sick since Kara can remember.

“Maybe,” Kara concedes, even if it still feels like it’s not reason enough.

Lena hums and leans enough to press a kiss to the corner of Kara’s mouth. She never kisses Kara fully before brushing her teeth and having Alex between them doesn’t change that. “I have to get ready,” she murmurs. “You stay here and take care of her.”

“I need to prep your lunch,” Kara protests weakly. She knows without doubt that she’s stuck in bed with Alex until the girl wakes up.

“And I saw you putting away the rest of last night’s lasagna. I’m taking some of that.” She stops for a moment. “And I’ll bring Lucy some too.”

Kara nods. Lucy came by last night, bringing the washed container Lena gave her during lunch. It was a lie, that Kara sent Lena with doubles yesterday, but both adults have noticed that Lucy eats a lot when she comes by, making Alex comment one day that Lucy never really eats and that it was weird seeing her friend do so.

As far as Alex has told them, ever since she’s known Lucy, the girl is always munching on apples and not much else. Granted, Alex and Lucy weren’t as close as they are now, but Alex says Lucy keeps eating apples at lunch… on those days she eats, that’s it.

Neither Lena nor Kara want to think too deeply into why Lucy eats as such, but they both know the girl has an appetite and she eats everything on her plate and more, so, if Lena thinks it’s necessary to feed her at school too, then Kara is one hundred beside ~~s~~ her.

“That’d be a good idea. Use Alex’s Tupperware.”

“Yes, love.” She presses a kiss on top of Alex’s head and another at Kara’s temple. “Call me if you need anything.”

Kara nods.

This feels awfully domestic. Lena going out to work and she staying home taking care of their kid.

Kara can’t help but beam.

Her life is amazing right now.

XxXxX

It takes Alex around two hours to wake up after Lena is gone. The whole time, the girl never stopped her sucking and Kara drifted off to sleep again once she realized they were in for a lazy morning.

This time, when Alex yawns around her nipple, Kara feels it and wakes with a content smile on her face. “ _Günaydın, minnoş_ ,” she mumbles against the kid’s hair.

Alex yawns again, wider this time, and latches back on Kara’s breast, having at least the consideration of switching nipples.

Alex, apparently, will stay in her youngest mindset for the moment.

Kara hums contently. Rubbing the back of Alex’s head. “I love you, baby,” she murmurs sleepily.

Alex’s hand comes and traces shapes on Kara’s naked side, walking her fingers up and down the swell of her hip and breasts. She sighs tranquilly, her lashes brushing Kara’s skin with each slow blink she makes.

“You want to go back to sleep?” Kara asks after a small eternity. Alex is lax and warm and content, but Kara knows she needs to change her soon. There’s no way Alex is this little and dry.

Alex sighs deeply but doesn’t answer.

Kara traces shapes on Alex’s brow. “Fine, love. That’s okay.” She kisses her temple, spying one of Alex’s new pacifiers near the kid’s head. “But _bebek_ needs a change. We can get back to cuddling after, okay?”

Alex whines in protest.

“I know, _minnoş_. I know. I promise I’ll be quick.”

Alex sniffs and Kara knows it’s going to be one of those days.

Still, the girl detaches with little prompting, with Kara simply tracing her thumb along Alex’s lower lip. Before Alex can protest, Kara guides Alex’s discarded pacifier to her mouth and waits a moment for her to settle before moving.

Getting her out of the soiled diaper is done quickly, as it’s always done nowadays. The girl is starting to develop a little rash, with how she’s spent the whole week in pulls-ups and diapers, so Kara takes a moment to rub some cream on the red areas. She lets the kid’s skin her air for a moment, leaving her sprawled on the bed as Kara dresses for a lazy day in.

She hasn’t recorded in over a week and she hasn’t been active in her social media either. She wanted to do a hair tutorial today, while Alex did the rest of her homework, but she knows that she’ll have to wait until either Alex snaps into an older mindset or Lena gets home… which unsurprisingly makes her heart feel light.

Being a YouTuber these days feels much more of a chore than when she first started.

Don’t get her wrong, she still loves the interaction with her fans, and she really enjoys doing the videos. She does. But, when given the chance to simply be with Alex and Lena, or to cook and be in the house doing chores… well, she guesses she has a 60’s housewife hiding under all her independent woman persona.

Ever since she can remember, she’s wanted to marry and be a housewife. Kori used to tease her about it all, but, well, Kara has always known what she wants. She used to daydream on how her wedding day would be, and how the groom – or bride – who would swept her off her feet would be.

Yes. Kara’s always known she is equally likely to marry a man than a woman.

But, then her parents and sister died and she had to focus on getting over that and then, Alex came around and her dream to be a housewife was sent flying.

She regrets nothing and she’s grateful, and happy, over how her life turned out, but it’s times like these, when everything is warm and cozy and tranquil, that she remembers what she had wanted as a kid.

She knows a life like that would be impossible now. She has to work and she has to support Alex and, even if she ends up marrying as she’s always wanted, she’s grown now. She is aware that being independent economically means having power. Power over herself, over how to live her life and who to love.

So, yes. She might yearn for a life that she once dreamt of, but she is happy with her life now. Utterly happy.

And she loves days like this one, because she gets to have a little piece of that dream and still be her independent self.

Her life is a good one.

XxXxX

“Com’on, _minnoş_. Open up. Aaah!”

Alex does as told, opening her mouth and lets Kara spoon feed her some oatmeal.

This feeding Alex thing is new, and Kara is happy the girl took to it easily. She feels more comfortable knowing Alex won’t rely only on shakes when she gets this young, even if she still demanded having her Hogwarts’ bottle before siting to have breakfast.

Really, Kara never thought there were bottles, teen bottles, that resembled so closely to baby bottles, but of course Lena had to find a handful of soft tipped bottles just the right size for Alex to feel satisfied.

Truly, Lena is a genius.

She spoons a little more of oatmeal and starts making dumb airplane noises. Alex giggles and eats happily what Kara offers her.

“It was a hard week, no, love?” Kara makes small conversation with the nonverbal kid.

Alex nods, her hands playing with Fluffy’s ears, pulling and tugging.

“Easy there, _minnoş_ ,” Kara scolds her gently as she feeds her the last of her breakfast. “Don’t pull too hard or you’ll hurt her.”

Alex’s eyes grow wide and she hurriedly smooths the white ears flat against Fluffy’s head.

Kara chuckles. “I think she forgives you.” Alex’s whole body relaxes as Kara gently wipes her face clean. “Now. Lena will be home early. What do you want to do until she gets back?”

Alex rubs Fluffy’s soft head against her cheek and shrugs.

Kara looks at the clock. With Alex wanting to nurse for a long while after her change, they had a late start on the day. They have around three hours before Lena gets back after her meeting with the Parents’ Association, so they don’t really have that much time to kill.

Alex scrambles from the chair and goes to the living room where Kara left her with her toys while she made them the oatmeal. She comes back with her Elsa Funko in hand and presents her to Kara.

Kara smiles. “It’s too early to be watching TV, _minnoş_. Choose something else.”

Alex pouts and goes back to the living room, while Kara cleans their small mess. She keeps an eye on Alex as she picks and drops her toys, though. Last time she was this little and Kara left her on her own, she ended up tripping and scrapping her knees.

“Don’t go upstairs, baby,” Kara gently reminds her when she notices Alex inching away from her view.

The girl hums and disappears around the corner to the foyer.

Kara frowns and is quick to go after her. “Lexie?” She finds little Alex sitting near the glass door that leads to the backyard, her palms pressed on it as she peers out. “Oh. You want to go out?”

Their backyard is small and, after debating on the benefits of having a lush green carpet versus the cost of the water they’ll spend on maintaining it, they decided to just go for it and have the yard Alex so desired.

It’s costing Kara a small fortune to maintain it, but Alex is happy and that’s priceless.

Alex glances back at her and nods.

“Then let’s put some pants on you,” she says gently, taking the girl’s hand.

Alex pouts.

“Oh. I know you don’t like pants, but I don’t think Ms. King would appreciate seeing your diaper, love.”

Alex scrunches up her nose at that.

Ms. King is the old lady next door. As far as they understand, she’s recently widowed and she’s as silent as a seventy-years-old woman can be. The only part of their home the elderly can peek at is the back yard, so they can be as open and happy as they want indoors without worrying about her glimpsing anything that could be considered amiss.

Kara really doesn’t think Ms. King would see what Alex’s wearing nor actually peek into their backyard, but she doesn’t want Alex out in the grass without nothing on her legs.

Specially if Kara’s gut is right and Alex ends up making mud pies… again.

Alex reaches up to Kara and she lifts her easily enough. “Uff,” Kara pretends to stagger. “Baby’s getting heavy.”

Alex giggles, hugging Kara with both arms and legs.

Kara takes them upstairs, absentmindedly checking if Alex needs a change. She’s dry.

“Do you think you want to try the big girl’s potty before we go out, love?” Kara asks her softly, just outside the bathroom.

Alex’s answers come in the form of her diaper getting warm against Kara’s front.

“Okay, then.” Kara nuzzles Alex’s temple and keeps walking to the girl’s bedroom.

Today’s a jumper kind of day, she thinks, already planning Alex’s outfit for their small outing to the yard.

XxXxX

“Honey! I’m home!”

“In the kitchen!”

Kara can hear Lena getting rid of her shoes in the foyer and how she sets her heavy briefcase in the side table they cleared just for that purpose. She keeps chopping the cucumber, dividing her attention between the food she’s prepping and the girl she can see through the kitchen’s window.

Lena comes in the room and immediately plants a sound kiss on Kara’s lips. “Sorry, love. The meeting ran late.” She looks around. The house is too tidy. “Where’s the munchkin?”

Kara nods towards the backyard view. Lena is just an hour late and Alex has made the most of her time outside. “She’s making dinner.”

“… please tell me you planned on burning that outfit.”

“I didn’t think her outfit through, no.”

Both adults watch with mild fascination as Alex makes yet another mud pie, totaling her ‘cooking’ to a small mountain of the stuff… a mountain that is half on the lawn and half on the kid’s lap. Alex’s blue jumper is ruined by now, no doubt, but at least the thick denim hopefully prevented the girl from getting too messy under it.

Lena sighs. “And please tell me you just didn’t let her suck her thumb like it’s okay for her to be eating dirt.”

There’s mud and grass on her hair and across one of her cheeks and, worst of all, Alex is ‘cooking’ with just one hand, the other is being used to suck on her thumb.

Kara winces. She kinda forgot about that. She’s still not one hundred percent used to Alex using pacifiers.

Lena shakes her head, opening a drawer and getting a pacifier that they keep for times like these, out. “That kid has several dummies, Kara. Make her use them if she’s going to be using her hands,” she mutters as she makes her way towards the glass door and to Alex.

The moment Alex sees Lena peeking outside she’s up and running to greet her.

“Ah-hah,” Lena tuts, putting a hand up to halt the kid before she can be hugged. “This little girl is all dirty and we don’t want to bring mud inside.”

Alex’s lower lip trembles behind her thumb as her eyes fill with tears.

“You can always hose her down!” Is Kara’s helpful advice, yelled from the kitchen.

Lena rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “Silly _anne_ ,” she whispers loud enough for Kara to hear. “You are Lexie, not a dirty car to be hosed down!”

Alex giggles, all thoughts of crying forgotten.

“Let’s get you undressed, then, before you come inside,” Lena commands gently, pulling the kid’s thumb out her mouth and replacing it with the rubber soother.

Alex dutifully starts sucking on it and lets Lena undress her down to her spaghetti top, socks and diaper.

“Let’s give you a bath, and then we’ll color, okay?”

Alex nods, following Lena inside and up the stairs, leaving her muddy outer clothes outside.

Unbeknownst to both, Kara had left the kitchen and watched the interaction between them with a smile on her face.

She can’t remember the last time she’s ever been this fulfilled, this, content.

She raises her eyes to the skies and whispers a small prayer for the first time since her family died.

If this is a dream, please never let her wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff for y'all before we go back to the craziness that's life.
> 
> Thanksgiving is coming up for them and there's gonna be a surprise (sorta) visit coming into town.


	46. Chapter 46

# 46

“Uh.”

That small uttered exclamation makes two pair of eyes turn to her and away from the movie they are all watching. They are taking advantage of the fact that Alex is not in her younger mindset to watch one of Kara’s period dramas, even when Lena almost begged to instead watch an action movie.

However, the kid had the ultimate vote and she voted in her _anne’s_ favor much to Lena’s dismay.

“Lee?” Kara asks with a small frown that’s echoed in Alex’s face.

The kid also decided her adults make perfect mattresses and so Kara is sprawled on the couch with Alex’s upper body draped on her chest and the tangle of their legs are thrown over Lena’s lap… which makes it impossible for her to see the frown on Kara’s face and thus making the fact that she’s mimicking her expression, adorable.

Lena smiles ruefully. She waves her phone in the air. “Mama emailed.”

Alex’s expression changes to surprise and then curiosity. It’s not often Lena speaks of her parents with Alex around and the girl is always eager to learn more about them… specially about the woman Lena calls mama.

“Oh?” Kara asks, just as curious. She knows Lena loves her mama, but she also knows something happened that has made the woman pull away from Lena lately. “Is everything alright?”

Lena grimaces. “Yeah. Sorta.”

Alex shuts off the TV and sits up slightly. “What’s wrong?”

Lena ruffles her hair. “Nothing much. Don’t worry about it.”

“Lee!” Alex whines, scooting away from Lena.

Lena chuckles and makes to follow Alex to tickle her, but Kara puts her foot up, gently pressing on Lena’s chest and preventing her from moving. “Seriously, Lee.” Kara frowns. “What’s wrong?”

Lena deflates at that. “So… My mama wants to know my plans for Thanksgiving.”

Kara and Alex share a look.

“Wasn’t she away or something?” Alex asks, timid.

Lena smiles pained. “Not exactly…”

Kara frowns and Alex wastes no time in climbing on Lena’s lap, hugging her. “You can tell us,” Kara says, sitting up and placing an arm around Lena's shoulders.

Lena hugs Alex tight, seeking comfort in the embrace. “Mama and dad are finally divorcing,” she says softly. “And they’ve been busy sorting who keeps what, that’s why she’s been out of touch. They’ve been traveling the world settling their properties and businesses… and apparently, they are done. Mama’s back in Metropolis and dad decided to stay in France. She wants to know if I’m joining Lex and his family.”

Alex nuzzles on Lena's chin. “You staying with us, right?”

“Yeah, I am.”

Kara’s head tilts to the side. “And your mama?”

Lena shrugs. “I don’t know. She doesn’t get along with Sarah either… so I guess she’s asking if I’d join her? I don’t know. Mama’s vague on that.”

“Why don’t you call her and ask?” Alex asks, truly curious.

Lena winces and hides her face in Alex’s hair. She mumbles something not even Alex can understand.

“What’s that, love?”

Lena sighs and lifts her face. There’s a small blush on her cheeks. “I haven’t told mama about you guys,” she admits in a small voice.

Alex’s face falls and Kara’s frown grows pronounced. “Why?” Alex questions, wounded. “You ashamed of us?”

Lena's eyes widen at that. “No, no, no. Sweetie, no. Never.” She hugs Alex close and kisses her temple. “No. I love you guys. You are the best that’s ever happened to me.”

Alex’s lower lip trembles. “Then why?”

Lena sighs and looks away, just to fall into Kara’s concerned eyes. “It’s… complicated,” she mumbles.

Kara quirks an eyebrow. “So, explain it to us. We are smart.”

Lena purses her lips at that. “I know you are smart.”

Alex pokes Lena’s ribs, making her jump. “Then spill.”

Lena’s eyes narrow. “You are getting awfully demanding.”

Alex’s eyes narrow back. “And you’re getting awfully sidetracked.”

Kara snickers, making them turn to see her. Both Lena and Alex frown at her. “Sorry! It’s just funny seeing Alex being stubborn with someone that’s not me.”

Alex rolls her eyes at that and turns back to Lena, glaring her puppy glare. “You always make us talk about our feelings… it’s your turn.”

That makes Lena startle. She turns to Kara, eyebrows raised and mouth a little open.

Kara shrugs. “She’s not wrong. Spill. It’s only fair.”

Lena sighs deeply and snuggles Alex close to her. “I’m mad at mama,” she confesses. “So, I haven’t really spoken to her. She knows almost nothing of my life this past year.”

Alex’s head cocks to the side, but it’s Kara who inquires. “Why are you mad?”

Lena sighs. “It’s stupid…”

Alex hugs Lena by the neck, pecking her lips. “’S not stupid if it makes you feel bad.”

Kara tightens her arm around Lena. “Kid’s right, babe.”

Lena deflates at their combined expectant looks. “… she filed for divorce,” she mumbles. “I never thought she’d file for divorce. Dad was devastated.”

Kara frowns and Alex cuddles closer. “I’m sorry,” Kara says with caution, “but, didn’t you say they married for convenience?”

Lena winces. “Yeah. Mama’s money for dad’s family’s prestige.”

Alex frowns then, confused. She doesn’t know about Lena’s family as Kara does. “But, they didn’t marry for love?”

Lena’s wince deepens at that. “People marry for many more reasons than just love, Alex,” Kara says softly.

Alex’s nose scrunches up. “You guys will marry for love, right?”

Both adults blush at that. They share a look among them, before diverting their eyes.

“That’s a topic for another time, Alex,” Kara coughs out.

Alex huffs.

“But Kara’s right,” Lena says before Alex can protest. “People marry for several reasons. My parents did it? because it was convenient at the time.”

“If they don’t love each other, why are you mad?” Alex asks, truly confused. “Shouldn’t they find someone to love?”

Lena smiles sadly. “That’s the thing, Alex. Both of them always had different partners, and both were always okay with that. Mama claims dad finally found the one, but he was still devastated when mama got him the papers. They’ve been married for over forty years. I guess we all got used to them being married.”

Kara gently combs some of the hair out Lena’s eyes. “And that’s why you are mad at her.”

Lena nods. “It’s dumb and I know I shouldn’t be mad… but it feels like she betrayed us all.”

Alex blinks slowly, taking in all the information.

“But she did it with a good heart, no?” Kara asks. “You say your dad found someone he loves…”

Lena shrugs. “Maybe I just never thought they didn’t love each other. They are best friends, they always went everywhere together, hell, they had Lex. That’s gotta count for something, no?”

“… but there are different types of love,” Alex says softly, too softly for the adults to hear.

“Alex?”

Alex’s eyes are earnest when she stares into Lena’s green eyes. “There are different kinds of love,” she repeats. “I love youand _anne_ , but I don’t love you like _anne_ loves you. I know that. I love Luce, but that’s different too… your mama and dad love each other, just not in the way you think they do.”

Lena nods, a little surprised. This kid never stops surprising her. “I understand that. It’s dumb, but it still hurts.”

Alex huffs, annoyed and it’s Kara who voices her discontent. “It’s not dumb if it upsets you, _şekerim_.”

Lena sighs. “Fine. I’m mad at her and it’s not dumb.”

Alex pats her head. “Good girl,” she says solemnly, mimicking all the times her adults have told her the very same thing.

Kara snickers at the sight, earning her a glare from Lena and a giggle from Alex.

“So, now that we know you are mad and it’s indeed not dumb… what do you want to do?” Kara asks after composing herself.

“I’ve never done Thanksgiving without mama, but I’m mad… and I don’t want to pretend otherwise.” She looks down at Alex’s eyes. “I don’t want her to know about you, because then she’ll get all excited and invested in my life again and I don’t want to pretend everything is alright.”

Alex looks up at her thinking hard. “You’re mad,” she starts, slowly, “but you love her.”

“Of course I do.”

Alex’s expression clears at that. She shrugs. “Then it doesn’t matter if you’re mad. You love her and you should talk to her and let her in.”

Both Kara and Lena startle at that. “What do you mean, _minnoş_?”

Alex doesn’t look at Kara, focusing solely on Lena. “Before, when I was so angry at _anne_ , I still let her in. I saw her and I wanted to hit her and hurt her like how she hurt me, but I ignored that voice. I love her. It took a while, but one day I was not angry anymore. Everything went back to normal, so in the end it didn’t matter if I was angry. I loved _anne_ and that was it.”

Lena doesn’t need to look at Kara to know that little confession hit her like a ton of bricks. Without looking, she reaches for Kara’s hand. “When was that, angel?” she asks softly.

Alex shrugs, oblivious to the turmoil she’s brought up. “Does it matter? You need to talk to your mama.” She beams then. “I wanna meet her! Bring her!”

Kara clears her throat, and, like the coward she is, seizes the chance to change the topic with both hands. “I agree. Talk to her, invite her to spend Thanksgiving with us.”

Lena blinks slowly. “Are you both sure? Would you like that?”

Alex nods. “You love Thanksgiving, so you should be with the people you love.”

Lena nuzzles Alex’s temple before pecking her lips, giving one of the tiny kisses Alex always gives around. “Thank you, babygirl. I’ll phone her tonight… if it goes well, I’ll let her know she’s invited.”

Alex nods, then, she turns pensive for a moment. “Can Lucy come too? Her dad’s always away and Lois is an ass.”

Kara gently slaps her leg. “Language, Alex.”

Alex rolls her eyes, but she keeps quiet, expecting to hear what her adults decide.

Lena pecks her lips once more. “You just said we got to spend the day with the people we love. Of course Lucy can come.”

Alex beams. “Great! I’ll call her now!”

And just like that, Alex is gone, leaving Lena and Kara alone in the living room.

“… she’s something else.”

Kara snorts. Of course she is.

XxXxX

“ _Lena?”_

“Hi, mama.”

“ _Sweetie, it’s been so long since you called. I’m so glad you did.”_

Lena bites on her lower lip. Alex is already in bed, tomorrow being a school day and another appointment for the kid with Dr. Quinzel, so they tucked her in earlier than usual, especially since the doctor asked them to bring her twice a week from now on.

Kara hadn’t been amused, but she agreed if only to respect the contract they all signed.

“I know, mama,” she sighs on the phone. Thinking of Alex’s appointment makes her think on what the girl said regarding her relationship with her mama. She’s mad, yes, but she can’t deny she’s missed her mama’s voice. “I’m sorry.”

“ _Don’t be, little one. I know I upset you.”_

“Mama?” she sends a surprised look at Kara. Her girlfriend lays with her in their bedroom, but she’s only privy to half of the conversation. “How-?”

Lillian chuckles on the other side of the line. “ _I know you, Lena. You stop calling when you are mad with me.”_

Lena winces. “Mama, that’s not true.”

Lillian clucks her tongue at her. _“You’ve never lied to me, Lena. Don’t start now, little girl.”_

Lena sighs. Her mama never grew out of calling her ‘little girl’ and to this day, it never fails to make her feel like that little four years old that first arrived at Luthor Manor. “Yes, ma’am.”

“ _So. What did I do this time?”_

Lena shifts in bed, pressing closer to Kara. “Can we not talk about that? Please?”

Lillian makes a surprised noise. “ _That bad, uh? Fine. I’ll let you simmer a little bit longer. So. What are your plans for Thanksgiving?”_

Lena sighs, grateful. She grabs Kara’s arm and puts it around herself. “I met someone,” she says softly.

“ _Oh?”_ The elation coming from Lillian shouldn’t make Lena feel this warm inside. _“Who is the lucky gal?”_

Lena smiles, looking adoringly at her girlfriend, only to receive a peck in the nose. “Her name’s Kara. Kara Zorel.”

“ _Oooooh. Exotic last name. Lemme guess… Greek?”_

Lena giggles. She’s missed this easy talking with her mama. “Close. Turkish.”

Lillian whistles low. _“And how did you score that? Last time I checked you spent all your time chasing children around and wiping their noses.”_

Lena snorts. “That’s not what I do, and you know it.”

It’s not a secret her mama doesn’t care much for her career choice, but it’s also not a secret that she was the one that supported her the most out of her three parents. Lionel Luthor couldn’t understand where the wish to be an educator came from and Karen Cox simply wouldn’t accept her daughter was not following the Luthor’s footsteps. Lillian just said she was still expected to make a name for herself and keep the Luthor name pristine before helping her pick up the best schools to achieve her dream.

Lillian hums. “ _Sure, darling. So? How did you two meet?”_

Lena can’t but blush a little, even if only Kara can see her. It doesn’t help her girlfriend is giving her a goofy grin. With all her shifting, Kara is now close enough to hear what Lillian has to say. “She’s actually one of my kid’s mom.”

Lillian is quiet for a moment, just long enough to make Lena panic a little. Kara, amazing Kara, hugs her close and starts combing her hair.

When Lillian speaks, Lena has to pinch Kara to stop her laughter. “ _Uh. I never pegged you going for the MILF type.”_

“Mama!” Lena screeches over Kara losing her mind.

“ _Oh, dear. She heard me, didn’t she?”_

Lena would give her mama brownie points if she didn’t sound so smug over being overheard. She pinches Kara again, for good measure. “Yes, she did. Mama, what the fuck?”

A stereo, “language,” makes Lena realize having Lillian Luthor over for Thanksgiving is not a good idea.

“ _She has a good sense of humor,”_ Lillian says, and Lena can imagine her smirking, satisfied. “ _I approve, sweetie.”_

Lena huffs. “I was going to invite you for Thanksgiving, but now I won’t. I hate you both.”

“ _Oh, darling,”_ Lillian chuckles. “ _I’m sure your girlfriend and I will get along just fine.”_

“Nope. Not inviting you.”

Lillian sighs, mock disappointed. “ _Then I guess I’ll just have to contact your girlfriend and get her to invite me. Kara Zorel, you said?”_

Lena gasps. “You wouldn’t.” If she wasn’t so happy to talk with Lillian again, and seeing how easily she’ll accept Kara – and Alex, no one can say no to Alex – she’d realized sooner she was being lured right into her mama’s trap.

“ _Try me, little one.”_

Lena groans. “Fine! Fine. Come for Thanksgiving? It’ll be a small affair.”

Lena can almost hear the smile in her mama’s voice. _“Of course, darling. I’ll be delighted. Now. Tell me all about this Kara of yours.”_

Lena grins wide and snuggles closer to Kara. Oh, this is one topic she will never grow tired of talking about.

If only she’d realized Alex was right months ago.

No matter how mad and hurt she was, Lena still adores her mama and she can’t but relish in the affection she can feel pouring out of the woman.

Mad or not mad… she’s still Lillian Luthor’s daughter and she’s loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love good Lillian and how Lena reacts to her mama.
> 
> Also, three parents are better than two, although they bring more issues and problems than just the one.
> 
> :)


	47. Chapter 47

“You shouldn’t be nervous.”

“I’m not nervous.”

Lucy and Alex watch as Kara keeps pacing the length of the foyer.

“Your mom’s nervous.”

Alex nods. “She’s the most nervous.”

Kara stops, just enough to glare at the girls sitting on the stairs. “Why are you even here?” she asks mildly. “Aren’t you supposed to be out causing trouble?”

Alex looks over her shoulder to see Lucy, who is sitting a couple of steps above her. They share a look, before turning back to Kara. They answer in stereo, “nah.”

Alex shrugs. “Why go out and cause trouble when we can stay in and cause trouble?”

Kara’s glare tempers off and she sighs. “At least go to your room. It’s weird you’re just sitting there.”

Alex scoffs. “And miss the show?”

Lucy nudges Alex with her foot. “Com’on, Al, let’s go upstairs. I need to show you something.”

Alex pouts at her friend. “But I never get to see _annem_ nervous!”

Kara groans.

“And? You’ll see her losing it plenty at dinner time.”

Kara glares at Lucy then. “You’re really helpful.”

Lucy grins wide at her. “I know, Miss Z.”

Alex giggles at that.

“But, seriously,” Lucy says with a smile. “You don’t need to be nervous. It’s only dinner with the mother-in-law.”

“You are a riot.”

Lucy sniggers.

“It’s Thanksgiving, please, go make yourselves scarce.”

Alex pouts then. “But I wanna meet Miss Luthor.”

Lucy nudges her with her foot. “Let’s go upstairs, yo. We can tease your mom later.”

Alex sighs but nods. “Fine.”

Kara watches the girls scramble up the stairs and she feels her shoulders drop.

Lena has been gone since yesterday and she can admit she feels lost without her around. She hadn’t asked Lena to move in officially, but it’s clear the older woman has already made a home with them. Seeing Lena leave yesterday after breakfast was hard, but she understands she needed to pick up her mother from the airport and that they needed time to themselves.

Sleeping with only Alex in her bed felt wrong on so many levels.

Lena and her mom should be arriving in the next half an hour and Kara is done with all her cooking for the day. With Lena gone, she and Alex woke too early and while the kid went out to bother Lucy, Kara started with the cooking. Lena will come home with the desserts, no doubt bought at a high-end bakery.

Kara wishes she could bake. It’d give her more to do, other than keep the small turkey they bought warm and keep pacing.

Not for the first time today, Kara thinks inviting the infamous Lillian Luthor for Thanksgiving was a bad idea.

XxXxX

Lillian rolls her eyes at the drumming on the steer wheel. “Why are you nervous? I know how to behave.”

Lena bites her lower lip. They are on route home after picking up the pies and Lena can admit she’s a mass of nerves.

“I really like her, mama,” she mumbles.

Lillian shifts in place in order to observe her daughter better. “I know you do. You don’t stop talking about her. Or Alex.”

Ever since that phone call, Lena and Lillian have phoned daily, at least for a few minutes at the time. They’ve caught up with recent events and Lena never fails to end up talking about the two girls that have taken over her life.

They haven’t spoken about why Lena was mad, and Lena doesn’t think they ever will.

Alex’s advice was sound. It didn’t matter Lena was angry, the love she felt for her mama overrode everything else and by the time she was picking Lillian up from the airport, it was as if that anger and hurt were never there.

“I know and I’m not sorry.”

Lillian snorts at the petulant answer. “I know you are not. Now, why are you nervous? You like her and I know I’ll like her too. In fact, I’ve liked all your girlfriends… Except Leslie.”

Lena winces. “We don’t talk about Leslie.”

“Exactly.”

Lena snorts amused. “But none of them liked you.”

Lillian makes an offended sound. “It’s not my fault they find me intimidating.”

Lena shakes her head. Her mama is the softest person there can be… when she wants to be. The rest of the time, Lillian Luthor is known to make people piss their pants.

The handful of girls she’s dated can attest to that.

“Please, be nice to them.”

“I’m nice to everyone.”

Lena sighs. “Mama, please…”

Lillian hums back. “I promise I won’t threaten to make her life miserable.”

“It’s not that… it’s… I love her.”

Lillian’s eyebrows rise at that. “You’ve loved plenty of them.”

“She’s the one.”

Lillian doesn’t know how to respond to that.

It’s not everyday your girl admits she’s found the love of her life.

Not for the first time, Lillian thinks she fed her daughter too many fairy tales when she was a kid.

XxXxX

“Mama, this is Kara. Kara, my mama.”

Kara smiles softly, offering her hand to the tall woman before her once she’s offered to take her coat and invite her into some guest slippers. “It’s a pleasure, Ms. Luthor.”

Lillian’s smile is just a tad more forced and she squeezes Kara’s hand tightly. “The pleasure is mine, Kara. But please, you don’t have to call me that.”

Kara’s smile dims just a smidge. Lillian didn’t tell her how to call her…

… this is why she never liked the ‘meeting-of-parents’ ritual.

“Of course.” She looks at Lena, only to find exasperation on her face.

“Mama, be nice.”

Lillian lets go of Kara’s hand. She smiles pleasantly. “Always, sweetie.”

Lena sighs and shakes her head. She steps closer to Kara and pecks her lips.

Kara doesn’t return the kiss, too frightened to mess things up.

Lena sighs again. She gets it, she does, but she really wishes Kara can see her mama is mostly pure bark and little bite. “Where are the kids?” she asks then.

“Kids?” Lillian questions. “I thought you only had the one?”

Kara nods. Talking about the girls is safe terrain and she feels just a tad better just by thinking of them. “Alex is mine,” she explains. “Lucy’s a friend of hers. She’ll be joining us tonight.”

“Ah. Yes, I’ve heard of her.”

Lena nods to the living room. “Let’s have a seat, mama.”

“Oh, yes! Please come in.” Kara leads the way into the living room and offers the older woman a seat. “I’ll go grab the girls.”

Lena’s hand in her arm halts her. “I’ll get the girls,” she insists, before stepping inside Kara’s space and whispering, “she’s not that bad. And she wants to have a word with you. Better it be now than later.”

Kara gulps and watches as Lena walks away. She turns in her spot, seeing Ms Luthor settled in the recliner. “Uh,” she says intelligently. “Would you like some wine? Lena brought what she says it’s your favorite.”

Lillian’s eyes are roaming around the place and suddenly, Kara feels their home is not adequate at all. That’s a feeling she’s never felt before and she doesn’t know how to feel over it.

Lena has never been quiet of the fact she comes from wealth… but Lena has grown so comfortable in their home that Kara never paused and thought the differences between their lifestyles. Sure, Lena might drink a stupidly expensive brand of coffee, but Lena also eats those weird crackers that are as cheap as they come.

Kara fears whatever judgment might come her way. She doesn’t want Lillian’s thoughts to chance taking Lena from them.

“That’s quite alright, dear,” the woman says airily. “Come sit for a moment.”

Kara thinks, belatedly, that this is how Alex must feel when she’s called to be scolded.

“Yes, ma’am.” She sits on the couch, as far away from the woman as she can and still be considered polite.

Lillian shifts her gaze from the house to her and suddenly Kara knows how a bunny feels in the presence of a fox. “So, _Kara_ ,” the way she uses her name sends shivers down her spine, “tell me about yourself. Lena speaks plenty of you, but I’m curious, what doyou do for a living?”

Oh. Okay. Let’s get that over with, then.

Kara smiles pleasantly. “I work in the entertainment industry,” she parrots what she says every time someone inquiries in her business. “I do hair, makeup and give fashion advice.”

Lillian’s eyebrows rise and Kara can almost see a smirk twitching in her lips. “Oh? I thought Lena said you were a… YouTuber, I believe the term is?”

Kara fights off a grimace. She’s never been ashamed of what she does for a living. It surely beats several other careers she’s been in, but the intonation in Lillian’s tone feels almost like an insult. What hits her harder, though, is that she doesn’t feel offended.

She just feels inadequate.

“That’s right,” Kara says with as much calm as she can muster. “I live off YouTube.”

Lillian hums. “That’s a strange job. What kind of major lets you do that? Marketing?”

Great. Now let’s direct the jabs at her schooling.

“No, ma’am. You don’t need any schooling to be a YouTuber.” Kara clenches her hands on her lap to stop them from trembling.

“So I guess whatever you studied helps you in other ways?”

Kara blushes, faintly. She wonders why she feels as nervous as when Judge Grant dictated her Alex’s last sentence. “I guess. I didn’t go to college, ma’am,” she says just to end this suffering.

Lillian doesn’t look surprised and Kara realizes then that she already knows everything she’s asking. Then, why is she being so mean over it all? Kara knows she’s not on Lena’s league, but damn, she also knows Lena loves her and class status and different lifestyles would not be what separate them.

It’s all good that that’s the moment Lena decides to return with the rascals.

“Mama,” Lena says brightly, ignoring the tension around. “Let me introduce you to Alex and Lucy.”

Kara startles a little, seeing the kids… Those are not the clothes they were wearing last time she saw them. Both girls are wearing matching t-shirts, Alex’s wearing a smiley doughnut with the word ‘best’ under it, while Lucy’s has a blushing coffee cup with the word ‘friends’ under it.

It’s cute and just adorable and if she wasn’t so nervous, she’d aww at them.

Alex smiles timidly at Lillian. “Nice to meet, you, ma’am. ‘M Alex.”

“And I’m Lucy,” Lucy waves. “I’m a family friend.”

Lillian’s whole demeanor changes. Her shoulders relax and her face opens. She smiles at the girls and stands up to hug them at the same time. “Hello, kids.”

If Kara wasn’t so freaked out, she’d laugh at the sight of the older woman hunching to be able to hug two kids just barely above five feet tall.

Alex shares a panicked look with Kara over Lillian’s shoulder as Lucy, being Lucy, hugs the woman with one arm. The hug is short, thankfully, because Alex looks like she’s about to pass out.

Lena practically skips to sit next to Kara, putting her between Lillian’s seat and her girlfriend.

Kara relaxes just barely at that and Lillian sits down again.

Lucy looks around, sensing the tension rise again. She tilts her head to the side. “Miss Z? Should we set the table now?”

Kara shrugs, nudging Lena. “What time are we eating, babe? Everything’s ready.”

She almost, almost winces when the term of endearment comes out. She chances a glance to Lillian and she’s relieved to see nothing but a blank mask in her face.

However, that relief is short lived when is Lillian who answers Kara. “An early meal is always best. Allows for more time to rest the food.”

Lena shrugs. “I guess now is best? We had a light breakfast and skipped lunch. You need help with anything in the kitchen?”

Kara shakes her head. “No. Everything is ready.” They too had a light breakfast and hadn’t eaten lunch, following Lena’s advice on the matter. Apparently, that’s one way to make sure you can eat your weight once it’s time to have dinner. “We’re just missing the pies you promised.”

Lena nods. She turns to Lucy. “Be a dear and bring them? The keys are by the door. Alex, start with the table please. We’ll start bringing the dishes out soon.”

Both kids scramble to do their designated chores, leaving the adults alone.

And, just like her mama, it’s like a switch flips in Lena the moment they are gone. She rounds on Lillian, glaring that glare Kara’s only seen directed at one Ms. Matthews.

“Mother,” she says between clenched teeth, well aware that Alex might be busy, but she’s still well within earshot. “What the fuck?”

Lillian has the gall to put on a scandalized face. “Lena! My god, such language!”

Lena just glares hotter. “Mama! You promised you’d behave!”

Lillian tsk, her mask falling. “I did. And watch your tone.”

Lena’s shoulders drop and Kara feels a stab in her chest. This is not going well and she doesn’t know how to fix it. She can feel the corner of her eyes darken and her breath catching just slightly, and damn it, this is not the time!

“ _Anne?”_ Alex’s voice is soft and immediately pulls Kara out her own mind. She looks over at the kid. Alex’s fingers are tapping against her lips as she stares intensively at her.

Damn it. Lexie is starting to slip out.

“ _Evet?_ (Yes?)”

“ _Yardım etmek_. (Help.)” Alex eyes shifts between the adults, before settling on Kara again. “I can’t reach the nice glasses.”

Lena’s eyes narrow at that blatant lie. For one, the glasses are all well within Alex’s short height, and for two, they don’t have nice glasses.

Nonetheless, Kara is up and practically running to the kitchen to help Alex out. She can’t love this kid more, being a knight in clean t-shirt and saving her from Lillian Luthor.

Lena watches them flee before returning her glare to her mama.

Not for the first time since she invited her over, Lena wonders if she didn’t rush things. Her relationship with Kara is still new enough it can be affected by this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, they've met Lillian.
> 
> What do we think?
> 
> We like? We don't?
> 
> Either way, we get to see where Lena's mama bear attitude came from :) 
> 
> As prompted by the beta, the new words in Turkish are now within the story inside parenthesis.


	48. Chapter 48

Setting up the table and fishing the dishes out is done quickly and mostly quietly by Kara, Alex and Lucy.

They don’t want to eavesdrop, but its hard with how the dining room literally shares space with the living room. They are privy to Lena hissing harshly to her mom and it’s so awkward the tension can be cut with a knife. Even Lucy is acting subdued, which is a first for her.

“Should we break them up?” Lucy whispers to Kara on one of their last trips into the kitchen. They are just waiting for the other two to stop talking so they can take the Turkey out the oven where it’s been kept warm.

“Is Lee okay?” Is what Alex asks instead. Her nerves are shown in how she’s biting on her thumb’s nail.

Kara gently reaches and takes the finger out her mouth. “Stop.” She sighs. In any other circumstances she’d be popping one of Lena’s dummies in her mouth, but today is not a normal day. “I don’t know, girls,” she mutters. “Should we?” she asks Lucy.

Lucy shrugs, helpless. “Don’t look at me. I’m an orphan too. I don’t do moms.”

Alex elbows her in the ribs. “You do mine.”

Lucy rolls her eyes and Kara snorts amused. “That sounded so wrong, girls.”

Lucy balks and Alex’s nose scrunches up in disgust. “ _Anne!”_

Kara snickers, some of her unease leaving her body.

“Hey,” Lena’s sweet voice calls them from the living room. “You didn’t let us help!”

Kara smiles sheepishly. Honestly, she only wanted to keep busy to avoid Lillian and the girls followed her example. “The turkey is still in the oven if you want to take it out?”

Lena’s look is incredulous when she approaches them, her mother a step behind. “And chance it to fall and be ruined? Not likely.”

Kara chuckles and even Lillian smiles amused. “The drinks still need to be poured?”

Lena nods determined. “That I can do.”

Kara smiles softly at that. The intonation and inflexion of that phrase was pure Alex. “Then let’s sit, yeah?”

XxXxX

Figuring out where to sit prompts a light scuffle between the girls, both wanting to sit in the same chair. Kara and Lena both are well aware that this is the way the girls are trying to make the tension go away.

Lena specially knows this because when she got upstairs to fetch them, she found them crouching by the stairs and looking more worried than necessary. It was a hesitant Lucy that confessed they’d tried to make Kara less nervous but had failed miserably. It had also been a shock to see that Lucy had brought them matching t-shirts and that they were planning on using them as a distraction too.

It was sweet and lovely, but Lena hadn’t thought it was warranted, until they came downstairs and found her mama eating Kara alive, that’s it.

“Hey,” Lena barks lightly, when the girls trying to sit on the same chair has gone long enough. “Lucy, sit there,” she points to the god forsaken chair. “Alex, with me, now.”

Lucy opens her mouth to gloat as Alex does as told, rounding the table to be next to Lena.

“Ah,” Kara admonish the older kid. “Do as you’re told, quietly.”

Lucy huffs, prompting Alex to stick her tongue out in jest.

Lena waits no time in swatting Alex’s butt gently. “Behave.”

Alex whines but sits on the chair Lena chose for her and Lucy knows pushing further would end in one of them in trouble, so she sits easily in her designated seat. Kara decides to keep being a coward and sits next to Lucy and as farther away as possible from Lillian, who ends up sitting next to Alex.

Finally, Lena sits between Alex and Kara and she looks around the table closely for the first time. “Love,” she says breathlessly. “You made a lot.”

Kara blushes and shrugs. She’s been cooking since dawn, and had even started some of the more elaborate dishes yesterday. “I didn’t know what to make, so I made a little of everything.”

“This is not a traditional feast,” Lillian comments, her voice for once not holding any judgment… she sounds a little impressed.

“Miss Z is the best!” Lucy chimes in then. “She made all our favorites!”

Kara’s blush deepens but she can’t deny that truth.

The table is groaning under the manti and karniyarik she made for Alex, the baba ganoush and falafel specially made for Lucy, the kao pad and yum nua for Lena and an assortment of vegetables and the small turkey that Lena is currently getting ready to cut.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know what you like most,” Kara apologizes to Lillian. “Otherwise I’d made you yours too.”

Lillian looks taken aback by that, but she can’t say anything before Lena clears her throat and looks around the table. “Thank you guys,” she starts. “I know we are doing this because of me, so Imma just say I’m grateful you opened your home to me and let me part of this amazing family.” She looks pointedly to each of them, Lucy included. “I never saw myself sitting at a table like this, but, then again, I never I’d be so in love or grown to love two little rascals.”

All three of the mentioned avert their eyes at the casual shown of affection.

It’s Lucy, the only one of the mismatched trio with any experience in this, that continues. “I’m grateful for you guys too. You keep me fed and gave me Al to annoy…” She smirks. “Just, can you make sure your next kid isn’t scared of clowns?”

“Hey!” Alex throws a balled-up napkin to her friend’s head. “Not cool!”

Lucy snorts at the poor thrown projectile and both kids receive a swift scuff to the ear by their nearest adult.

“Behave,” both Kara and Lena say at the same time.

Lillian sees it all with open curiosity and not a little contemplation.

“Kara?” Lena prompts then. “Wanna go next?”

Kara’s blush come back with a vengeance. “Uh. I’m grateful you decided to give us a go. I’m also grateful the kids are healthy and happy, even when they get on our nerves, and that we have the chance to meet you Ms Luthor.”

Lillian nods at the words Kara sends her way. 

“I’m grateful you decided to threaten _anne_ with social services!” says Alex abruptly. “Thanks to that, we met you, Lee. I’m also grateful with judge Grant, she made my _annem_ see reason and let me out jail… oh! I’m not grateful for Lucy… she’s mean. Can we return her?”

“No, Alex,” comes the stereo response from Lena and Kara.

Alex sighs. “Fine. I guess I’m grateful for her too. I’m grateful for DEO high, for Drs. Palmer, Isley, Quinzel and Prince. For Mr. Rayner and Mr. Stone. For Jeremy that always remembers how I like my milkshake. For J’onn. For our landlord. For-”

“Baby.” Lena’s hand comes and rests on the back of Alex’s neck, massaging softly. “You don’t have to mention every single person in your life… you just need to remind us of the best parts of the year.”

Alex frowns, confused. “But this is the best year of my life… I’m grateful for it all.”

Kara and Lena share a sad look at that, and even Lucy looks down at the earnest voice.

Lena leans forwards and presses a kiss on her forehead. “I’m so grateful for you too, little one.”

Alex grins. She turns to Lillian, whose eyes have lost that guarded expression. “I’m grateful for Ms. Luthor too,” she continues with her small speech. “Thanks to you we got Lena. She’s the best person ever.”

“Hey!” Kara demands. “What am I? Chopped liver?”

“Ew, no. You’re strawberry milkshake.”

Kara snorts and Lena gently rubs down Alex’s back, amused and endeared at her unique way of giving compliments.

“You’re weird,” Lucy complains with a smile.

“You love me either way.”

“That’s true.”

“I am thankful,” Lillian’s voice cuts through their interaction and it’s obvious the four of them had forgotten the woman was there. “For the chance to meet you three.” Her words are warm and she raises her glass of wine to nod at them. “I’m thankful to be invited and for this marvelous feast you prepared for us.”

Lena and Kara raise their own glasses of wine to toast, while Lucy and Alex do the same with the ayran Kara made for them.

“To family,” Lillian says in a soft tone.

“To family,” Lena repeats, looking at the three girls that have wormed their way into her heart.

They all clink their glasses together and are soon filling plates left and right.

XxXxX

Lillian’s first bite proves to be a burst of flavor she hadn’t expected.

Lena was pretty explicit when she phoned her about Kara’s cooking, but she never imagined the words coming from her mouth to hold much value. Lena can’t cook to save her life – one of the reasons Lillian was so worried about her kid living across the country on her own and relying on her own money – and thus she really thought whomever came across with the ability not to burn anything would be the greatest chef to Lena.

But no, Kara Zorel really can cook.

“This is amazing,” she can help but compliment the small bite of turkey she had.

The tips of Kara’s ears redden and she smiles shyly. “I’m glad. It’s the first time I tried that recipe.”

Lillian’s eyebrow shoot up. “Really?”

Alex nods eagerly, her mouth full of stuffed eggplant. “Yup,” she says around the food. “She’s good like that.”

Lena taps on Alex’s hand. “Don’t talk with your mouth full. You know that.”

Alex swallows and smiles sheepishly. “Sorry, Lee.” She turns again to Lillian. “Kara’s the best cook ever! She can do anything you want!”

“Except cookies,” Lucy says after making sure to swallow her own bite of chickpea deliciousness. “Or cake.”

“Or pie,” Alex adds her own two cents.

“Or any dessert really.”

“Hey! She makes a killer jell-o,” Lena defends her embarrassed girlfriend.

Kara shrugs at Lillian’s inquisitive look. “I really don’t do desserts. They always come out burnt or raw, so I stick with actual food.”

“Dessert is food, _anne._ You should practice more, then we could have dessert daily!”

“Yes she could, but that’s not the kind of food we want you to eat all the time,” Lena counters.

“Why not? Dessert is life!”

Lucy snorts. “We don’t need to give you more energy, Al. I’m with your moms on this one.”

Alex pouts, sensing she won’t get a supportive comment from Kara either. She turns to Lillian then, the last resort on the table. It doesn’t matter if she’s a scary woman, there’s dessert on the line! “Tell my moms to let us have dessert more often!” she demands in a little whine.

The whole table freezes at that.

Lucy stares incredulously at the faux pax her friend just made. You simply don’t engage the oldest adults!

Kara stares mortified at the boldness of the claim. Didn’t Alex understand they were trying to impress the scary woman?!

Lena startles at Alex and the littleness behind the words. That right there is Lexie being her whiny self.

And Lillian… she shakes her stunned and laughs lightly. She smiles warmly at Alex, the corner of her eyes crinkling barely. “Ah, little one, I don’t think your _moms_ would appreciate you in a sugar high.”

It’s then that it hits Kara and Lena. How Alex and Lucy referred to them both.

Lena chokes on thin air and Kara’s soul leaves her body, making her feel boneless and bloodless.

Thank goodness for Lucy.

“She’s the worst in a sugar high,” the older kid says seriously, turning all the attention to her. “She crawls up the walls and starts singing _Let It Go_.”

“It was only once!”

“It was once too many.”

Kara’s eyes narrow. “And this was when, exactly?” she asks, her soul slowly crawling back into her body.

Both kids avert their eyes and resume their eating quietly, Alex messily sipping on her glass of ayran and leaving a mustache behind.

Lillian chuckles. Kara looks at her and notices that the woman’s shoulders are relaxed and how the smile in her face is honest and open. She looks at Kara directly in the eye and comments easily. “You have your hands full with these ones.”

Kara sighs dramatically, suddenly at ease before this formidable woman. Talking about the girls is always easy. “Alex mostly behaves… It’s Lucy the one we struggle with,” she says in jest.

Lucy gasps mock wounded at that.

“But we love her anyway,” Lena adds with a tender smile sent to the older girl, making her instantly blush and return to her food.

Lillian’s eyes go from Lena to Kara and something flickers behind them. She nods. “That’s what happens when your kids are adorable,” she says, eyeing Alex and how she’s now trying to clean ayran from her shirt with a napkin.

Lena sighs amused, taking the nap from her hand and cleaning it for her. “Adorable, yes. Stubborn and reckless, too.”

Alex pouts at the jab. “We are not reckless.”

“Remind us who almost died trying to see how many marshmallows fit in her mouth yesterday?” Kara asks amused.

Lucy groans and Alex’s eyes widen in fright. When Lena’s glare turns to Kara, the blonde can see why Alex suddenly looks so small. “Darling?” Lena intones, her voice sweet with venom.

Kara gulps. “Yes, _şeker_?”

“Please tell me I heard wrong. You just didn’t imply Alex almost choked.”

Kara grimaced, but it’s Alex who answers, “it was Luce, actually” she peeps meekly.

Lena exhales, glaring then at Lucy and Alex, switching between them every few seconds. “No more marshmallows in the house,” she commands.

Both kids nod eagerly.

“And no more food competitions.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Yes, Lee.”

Lena shakes her head, exasperated.

Lillian chuckles again.

“Something funny, mama?”

Lillian shrugs. “Your family is indeed amusing.”

That’s all it takes for Lena’s annoyance to disappear.

She knows her mama has just approved them all.

She couldn’t be happier.

XxXxX

“You made a mess out of your shirt, Alex. There’s ayran all over it.”

“’M sorry.”

Lena sighs amused, pushing so the girl lays down on her back. “We should get you a sippy cup next time, uh?”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Me don’t like glasses. They hard.” Alex lifts her hips as prompted.

Lena snorts amused at that and lays a kiss on the exposed belly before her. “That they are. We can totally try those if you want.”

Alex giggles at the assault before she turns to look at the ceiling, waiting patiently as Lena secures her diaper around her waist. This is fairly new, Lena getting her ready for bed, but she is so happy with it.

She feels so loved.

She loves Kara with all her heart, she does, she’s _anne_ and she knows Kara loves her too, but Lena’s love is different. Kara’s love is solid and safe and strong, but Lena’s is somehow warmer and softer and lighter.

Kara’s love feels like a storm. Like thunder and rain and hale. Alex thinks Kara’s love can easily erase the city if she’s called to protect Alex. Kara is a hurricane and Alex hides in the center of her, surrounded by powerful winds that can annihilate it all.

Lena’s love is like sunshine. Like breeze and flowers and warm milk. Alex knows that Lena will be there when she falls, when she doesn’t know what to do, when she needs to face the cold outer world. Lena is like the best version of Krypto, who keeps an eye on her, but that will also give her strength to face her punishments.

It’s weird, thinking of her moms in those terms, but Dr. Quinzel’s first homework was to identify the emotions she felt during the day, relating them to objects to make it easier, and she couldn’t help but focus on how her love for her moms feels. From there, it was no hard chore to identify the differences and similarities between how she perceived their love to her.

When she commented it to Dr. Quinzel, how she saw her moms, she felt lighter than she’s felt in years.

Speaking of Kara and Lena as her moms too feels so liberating and she never fails to do so with Dr. Quinzel and Lucy.

“Hey,” Lena’s voice calls Alex’s attention back to her. She grabs the thumb that’s inside the girl’s mouth and swiftly changes it with a pacifier. “No thumb sucking, you know that,” she scolds gently.

Alex exhales tiredly and nods. She didn’t feel when she started sucking on her thumb.

She gives it a few sucks while Lena finishes dressing her for bed, but when she’s done, she spits it out to address her. “I like your mama.”

Lena smiles tenderly at that. “Yeah, she’s the best.”

Alex blinks slowly, getting comfortable under the covers. She wanted Lucy to stay the night, but Lois called her wondering where she was. Apparently, Lois and Clark are spending the night at Lucy’s house for whatever reason, so Lucy had to cross the street to meet her sister.

“Why she mama?” Alex asks once she’s comfortably snuggled.

Lena sits by Alex’s side, gently brushing hair out her face. “What do you mean, angel?”

“… she’s not your mother,” Alex asks in a whisper. She doesn’t know where that question came from, but suddenly, she really needs an answer.

Lena chuckles at that. “Blood isn’t everything, babygirl. You know that.”

Alex frowns, not following.

“ _Annen_ isn’t related to you either,” Lena explains easily.

Alex’s frown deepens. “But, _annem’s_ always been there…”

“… and so has mama. She was there since I was four. I don’t remember a time she wasn’t there.”

A sudden panicked thought enters Alex’s then, erasing any and all sleepiness she’d had. “And if she hadn’t?”

“If she hadn’t what, love?”

“Been there always. What then?”

Lena hums, thinking on what Alex is actually asking. “If mama hasn’t been there, then I guess she’d still be mama. Just not mine.”

Alex’s eyes fill with tears and she rubs at them harshly. “And if she was later?”

“Are you asking what would’ve happened if I met mama at a later date?” Lena’s thumb catches a tear that rolls down Alex’s cheek. It’s late and way past Alex’s bedtime, so of course her emotions are all over the place.

Alex nods. “Ye.”

Lena kisses the space between her eyes. “Then she’d be my mama still. Just at a later date.”

That answer seems to mollify Alex and the tears disappear as soon as they came, to be replaced with drowsiness. “Lee?”

“Yes love?”

“You staying?”

Lena traces her thumb along Alex’s brow. “Not tonight. I’m taking mama to her hotel and I’ll spend the night there. But, we’re meeting for brunch tomorrow. Make sure Lucy knows she’s invited.”

Alex nods, closing her heavy eyes. “And after?” she murmurs.

“After what, angel?”

“You staying?”

Alex is almost under, her breathing even and slow, when she feels the teat of her pacifier being pushed inside her mouth and hears Lena’s soft voice making her a promise.

“Forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little later than usual, but RL got in the way.
> 
> Also, I've been a little distracted.
> 
> :)
> 
> Dishes featured here:  
> Manti AKA Turkish ravioli.  
> Karniyarik AKA Turkish stuffed eggplant.  
> Baba ganoush AKA Lebanese smashed, roasted eggplant.  
> Falafel AKA chickpea fried balls (which are my favorite food y'all)  
> Kao pad AKA Thai fried rice.  
> Yum nua AKA Thai beef salad.
> 
> So, in this AU mama Lane was Lebanese, if you didn't get that hint, and thus Kara made Lucy her favorite dishes :3


	49. Chapter 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay.
> 
> RL just sucks sometimes

“The little hell riser didn’t come?” Lena asks as she hugs Alex tightly to her chest, noticing accurately the lack of Lucy.

Kara pecks Lena’s lips, trapping Alex between them. “Lois demanded a family meeting today, so no.” 

“Lois is an asshole,” Alex grumbles low, earning herself a little spank from Lena.

“Language, Alex.”

Alex scrunches up her nose. “But I’m right.  Lois’ s never around and suddenly, she comes and takes Lucy away. She’s the worst.”

Lena kisses between her eyes. “Don’t be jealous of Lois, babygirl. I’m sure you’re still Lucy’s favorite person.”

That seems to brighten Alex enough to release Lena and look around. “Where’s your mama?”

“Upstairs packing. She wants to be back at Metropolis tonight.”

They decided to have brunch at the hotel Lillian is staying, which, coincidentally, is owned by the woman. 

Lena said that it’s almost as if going to the hotel was going to her mama’s house.

Both Kara and Alex didn’t understand that reasoning but agreed to the brunch either way.

Lillian mellowed out considerably as dinner progressed last night. She started joking around and questioning the girls on their likes and dislikes with open curiosity. Even Kara received a handful of good comments sent her way, and when Lena was busy tucking Alex in bed, Lillian went so far as to chat with Kara as if her earlier hostility hadn’t been there at all.

They think that thanksgiving with the mother-in-law was a win.

Alex’s eyes brighten further at that. “You finally coming home tonight, then?”

Lena snorts. “You’re a possessive little thing, aren’t you?”

“Of course, she is,” Kara chimes in. “You keep letting her hog you.”

Both Alex and Lena turn to Kara, Lena keeping her arms around Alex. She narrows her eyes, suddenly worried. “Are you jealous, babe?”

Kara smiles tenderly. “Not one bit. I’m glad Alex is so happy around you.”

“But Alex is yours, love. You know that, right?”

Kara rolls her eyes. “She’s ours and you know  _ that _ . Kid would be devastated if you ever leave.”

“It’s good I don’t plan on ever leaving, no?”

“So good. She’s not the only one that loves you.”

“Oh? Wonder who else loves me.”

“I’m sure Lucy is pretty smitten too.”

Lena snorts again. “Sure. You just keep me around for the kids’ sakes.”

“Of course. We just established Alex would be devastated if you left.”

“Alex is also here, you know?” the kid finally intervenes.

Both adults look down and are met with an angry pout. Kara quickly pecks the pout as Lena tickles the kid’s side. “We know, baby.”

Alex giggles at the attention. She throws her arms around both her adults and squeezes them tight. “Love you.”

Lena presses her cheek to the top of Alex’s head as Kara kisses her temple. “We love you too,  _ minnoş _ .”

The clearing of a throat pulls them from their reunion at the hotel’s entrance.

Kara and Alex blush and the trio moves as one to face Lillian, who is looking at them with an amused smile. “Hello, Kara. Alex.”

Kara’s blush deepens as she shakes free of Alex’s hug in order to offer Lillian her hand. “Nice to see you again, ma’am.”

Alex, sweet Alex, does as her  _ anne _ and shakes Lillian’s hand too, although awkwardly. “Hi, Ms. Luthor.”

Lillian’s smile dims, but the warmth in her eyes stay. “I told this one,” she nods to Lena, “to bring you up as soon as you got here, not to loiter and give the guests a show.”

It’s finally Lena’s turn to blush as she looks around. It’s not her fault she forgets the world exists when she’s with her girls, alright? “Sorry, mama.”

Lillian shakes her head amused, turning on her heel and leading them towards the elevators. “Let’s get going then. I had Derek fetch us fresh fruit and eggs.”

Kara and Alex share a confused look behind the woman’s back but follow nonetheless.

The elevator trip is longer than they expected, going all the way up to the top floor. The moment the doors open they are met with a huge floor to ceiling window overlooking the city and Alex rushes to press her face against the glass.

“It’s so high!” she exclaims excitedly.

Lena comes and takes her by the arm, pulling her away from the window. “Come, love. Don’t give your  _ annen _ a heart attack.”

Alex looks at Kara and sees her pale and stricken face, yet she doesn’t register the reason behind it. “Can you imagine climbing this building? It’ll make a great workout!” She turns to Lena, eager. “Think I could do some shoots in the roof? A routine this high would be amazing!”

Kara makes a pained mewl at that.

Lena  combs Alex’s hair back away from her face. The kid usually wears it in a low ponytail, but today she left it down and it keeps falling forward. “Alex,” she says in a soothing voice, leading her further away from the window. She can see why Kara panicked. The window looks less than a window and more of a hole in the wall that leads  into a thousand feet drop. “You are not doing anything like that this high up.”

Alex digs her heels in the soft carpet beneath them. “Lee!” she whines, pulling at her arm. “Please! Is so high!”

Lena tugs harder, making Alex start walking again. “No, Alex.”

“But Lee!”

“Alex. I said no.”

Alex’s lower lip starts trembling. She turns to Kara then. “ _ Anne!” _

Kara shakes her head, trying to get rid of the fright she just  had . She really thought for a moment that Alex had rushed to her death. “No, Alex. Listen to Lena.”

“But-”

“Alexandra, no.”

Alex whines and turns to her last resort. Lillian is already down the hall, standing by the sole door  on  the floor. She turns her pout to its maximum and makes her eyes water. “Please,” she begs. “Lemme go to the roof!”

That earns her a swift hit to her behind. “Alex!”

Alex whines again, letting a tear roll down her cheek.

Lillian chuckles. “I don’t think your moms would appreciate that, young lady.”

Alex huffs, annoyed. If Lena wasn’t still holding her so tight, she’d cross her arms so they all know how unfair they were being.

Lena hums. “Drop the attitude, Alex,” she commands quietly as the three of them approach Lillian.

Alex grumbles some obscenities under her breath.

They are soon inside the suite and Lena smiles thinly at her mama. “We’ll be back in a few minutes,” she announces to the room, tugging Alex further into the suite and out of view.

The last thing they hear is Alex’s whiny voice protesting the manhandling.

Kara winces. She’s yet not recovered from her scare, but she knows it’s time to address Lillian. “I’m sorry, ma’am,” she apologizes sincerely. “Alex didn’t have a good night and it shows with her crankiness.”

Lillian waves her off. “I get it. Little ones are moody like that. Now,” she nods to the couch in the middle of the room. “While we wait for them, I’d like to talk to you.”

Kara gulps lightly. It is true Lillian’s mean exterior melted last night, but nothing guarantees she’s out of the woods yet.

She sits gingerly next to Lillian. “Ma’am?”

Lillian contemplates her for a moment. “You know, Lena has never, in the twenty-four years I’ve known her, acted as she does around you.”

“Ma’am?”

Lillian smiles gently. “I met her when she was two. She doesn’t remember, of course, but when I first laid eyes on her, I knew it. She was going to grow up to be a fighter. Later on, once she was living with us, I also realized she would grow to be a gentle soul. Imagine, a little girl with so much fire and warmth and a heart so big… I was scared her fire would be put out by life…”

Kara’s eyes narrow in contemplation. She knows Lena is the most amazing and unique person in the universe. She doesn’t have any trouble imagining little Lena being just like Lillian is describing.

“When she came out to us,” Lillian snorts amused, reminiscing, “my first thought was… Well, now I don’t have to make sure her boyfriends are gentlemen, I now need to make sure her girlfriends treat her like a princess. I have no doubt Lena has told you she’s had her fair share of partners, but never, ever, has she kissed any of them in front of me.”

Kara’s eyes widen at that. With how free Lena is in her touches and kisses, she’d never imagined her withholding her natural affection. With what she’s seen of Lena’s relationship with her mama, she doesn’t think that it was shyness or fear that stopped  her before.

“This is also the first time I see her so at ease around anyone that’s not Lex or me.” Lillian places her hand on Kara’s knee. “I was so worried when she decided to come to National City on her own. With no friends, no family, and no survival skills… yet here she is, four years later, doing good work and now finding her place among your little mismatched family. Being happy.”

Kara’s eyes mist, just like Lillian’s are doing.

“Thank you,” Lillian says earnestly. “You’ve shown me a part of my daughter I’ve never seen. You’ve also shown me that I thought Lena was happy before… now I know she was just content with her life. I can see she’s truly happy now. Thank you, for letting me be witness to that.”

“Ma’am…” Kara mumbles  at a loss of  what  to say .

“Oh, drop that, love,” Lillian gently scolds her. “Either call me Lillian or mama, whichever is fine. I don’t see you two going your separate ways, so get used to calling me that. You’ll be doing it for years to come.”

Kara blushes hard at that. “I’ll try… Lillian.”

Lillian pats her knee “That’s all I ask.”

That’s the moment Alex and Lena decide to come into the room again. Lena is leading a meek Alex by the hand this time around. There are dried tear tracks on her cheeks and her eyes are red-rimmed, making her look like the little girl she is.

Lena stops them before the couch and gently pushes Alex forward.

Alex sniffs once before mumbling to Lillian. “’M sorry I was rude, ma’am.”

Lillian smiles softly. “Thank you for apologizing, Alex.”

Ale nods and then turns to Kara. “’M sorry I scared you,” she says softly. “I didn’t realize.”

Kara opens her arms and Alex is soon climbing on her lap, the soft padding of her pull-up nice and solid against her legs. “Thank you,  _ minnoş _ .” She presses a kiss to the girl’s temple. “Next time don’t rush out like that, please.”

Alex nods again. “Lee made me promise the same.”

Kara’s eyes find Lena's and she mouth a ‘thank you’.

“Well,” Lillian says after a moment of stillness. “There’s food to be eaten and I for, one, am hungry.” She peeks down into Alex’s eyes. “I was told you like sticky buns. Should we have some?”

Alex brightens at that and she smiles wide. “Yes, please!”

Kara hugs her for a second longer, before letting her rise and follow Lillian into the living room/kitchen space that’s on the left.

She stands up and faces Lena, pecking her lips twice in rapid succession. “Thank you,” she whispers.

Lena’s eyebrow furrow. “You’re welcome? She was fussy but a light scolding made wonders,” she answers confused.

Kara just smiles. 

Lena couldn’t know Kara’s not talking about her dealing with Alex, that she’s thanking her for everything Lena is.

She’s so ready to marry this woman.

XxXxX

“But then, Lucy said we shouldn’t… she caved in the end, but she was right.  _ Anne  _ got angry.” Alex pouts, looking up to meet Lillian’s eyes. “I was grounded for almost a month. Lucy didn’t come around either… it was so lonely!”

Lillian chuckles at the dramatics shown. After brunch, it was decided the weather was perfect to take a stroll around, so they made their way to one of the parks located near the hotel, and Alex, being Alex, had demanded ice-cream as soon as they spotted the truck.

Lillian offered to accompany her and they were now walking around together, licking their cones and having had lost the other two in their ice-cream run.

Alex doesn’t seem to be worried they’ve lost her moms, so Lillian is taking her cues from her and is just happily getting to know who she’s certain will be calling her gramma soon.

“And even knowing Kara would be upset, you went,” Lillian adds her two cents to the tale she’s been narrated. This is the fourth tale of this kind Alex shares with her and she can see Lena has her hands full with these two kids.

Alex nods. “It was not smart, no.”

Lillian chuckles at the solemn way the girl spoke.

“Did you at least learn your lesson?”

Alex winces and nods again. “Ye.”

Something in that last story, though, makes Lillian curious. “You really just went there because someone was sponsoring you?”

Alex shrugs, eating the last of her cone. “Yeah. I mean, free rides are cool, but if you get a sponsorship, you have to be careful not to decline it… it can make other possible sponsors overlook you. This was my first sponsorship so I couldn’t turn it down. I’ve gotten a couple of others since then; both those are just to promote products in my videos.”

“And I’m assuming they are paying you for that?”

Alex nods. “Yup. The more I can promote in the channel, and the more people see the product, the more I get paid.”

Lillian nods back. “So, you are planning on living off this… promoting?”

Alex shakes her head now. “This is a temporary job.  _ Anne _ and I know that we can’t rely on it forever, but we are trying to make the most out of it.”

Lillian hums. “And what do you plan to do after?”

Alex shrugs, rubbing her palms together to get rid of the stickiness left behind by her cone. Lillian passes her a spare napkin she got from the truck and she smiles. “Thanks.”

“What are you planning on studying?”

Alex’s nose scrunches up. “I’m not going to college.”

That surprises Lillian. Lena has spoken plenty of the girl, on how she’s a year ahead and has the best marks overall. Kids with that kind of potential usually have already mapped out what they’ll be studying and doing with their life overall. “No?”

Alex shakes her head. “No.”

Lillian cannot believe that. She’s known Kara for just a couple of days, but she thinks the blonde wouldn’t let Alex skip on college. She knows for sure Lena won’t be okay with that. “What does your  _ anne _ think about that?”

Alex’s nose twitches. “ _ Annen _ ,” she says. “The word you are looking for is  _ annen _ _.” _

“… What does your  _ annen _ __ think about you not going to college?” she asks, deciding to ignore why a letter would matter in how she addresses the blonde.

Alex shrugs again. “Dunno. We haven’t spoken ‘bout it.”

Ah. That makes more sense. Neither Kara nor Lena knows about Alex’s plans. “And what are you doing after high school if you don’t go to college?”

“Dunno.” Alex looks up at Lillian and grins. “I’m a kid. I still have time to figure it out.”

Lillian is so confused. The  girl  should be sending out college applications already, she doesn’t have that much time left… She’s certain neither Lena nor Kara would let the kid stay home or get a job and will make her get an education.

She can’t say anything about it, though, because that’s the moment Lena’s voice reaches them. “Alexandra Lee!”

Alex winces.

“Why won’t you answer your phone?” Lena demands, trotting to them. “We’ve been looking all over the place for you two!”

“Sorry.” The kid pats her pockets and her eyes start to water. “Don’t have it,” she mumbles.

Lena sighs. “Did you lose it?”

Alex shakes her head. “Don’ know.” She pouts. “’M sorry.”

Lena hugs her to her chest, taking out her phone and dialing Kara. “You worried us, babygirl,” she scolds gently, before speaking into the receiver. “Yeah, found them. We  are by the big fountain… That’s the one… Fine. We’ll wait here.” Lena hangs up and locks eyes with Lillian. “You know, if you stopped being stubborn and got a phone of your own,  we wouldn’t have been that scared, mama.”

Lillian waves her off. “We were perfectly fine, thank you very much. And if I got a phone, I wouldn’t get time off.”

Lena hums at that. Her dad’s phone is never far from him and he always answers it, no matter the hour or where he  is … Her mama, on the other hand, has a couple of assistants to deal with her calls and she’ll stick to her office hours to return any important calls.

It’s a smart move, yes, but also an impractical one.

“What if there was an emergency?” Lena asks with a raised eyebrow.

“When I was your age, little one, we had no phones. We also had emergencies back then and the lack of phones didn’t make things harder.”

Lena shakes her head as Alex giggles at the matter of fact tone used. “I like your mama.”

Lena beams at that, sharing a smile with Lillian. “That’s awesome, angel, because I like her too.”

Lena didn’t know how Thanksgiving would turn out. She expected a little drama if she was honest. Maybe her mama grilling Kara was unwarranted, and Alex and Lucy’s antics were a little over the top, but she thinks the whole thing was a huge win.

Maybe they can start planning for Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Halp.
> 
> I regret choosing nursing as a career.
> 
> I'm just so tired.
> 
> Beta n I tried to do better with the grammar in here, hope it reads well!


	50. Chapter 50

The dropping of a crinkly bag makes Lena stop reading the ingredients of the can she’s holding. Without looking up, she intones, “no, Alex.”

Alex sighs but there’s more crinkling and Lena knows she was heard.

Lena places the can, and three of the same one, in the cart and keeps walking down the aisle.

She stops again, this time to peruse the different types of pasta that are  available for choosing. Kara’s list was not really clear on which one they need to get, so she takes the time to contemplate them.

The thud of a box falling atop their groceries makes her sigh and she turns to see Alex not so sneakily inching away as if she hadn’t just dropped a box of chocolate  chip cookies in the cart.

“Alexandra,” Lena scolds.

Alex huffs, but takes the box and rushes back to wherever she found it.

Lena shakes her head. When she offered  to do this week’s shopping,  she didn’t think twice about hav ing Alex tag along . She’s always looking for excuses to spend time with the girl, but now she’s starting to regret her decision.

Alex keeps wandering off and trying to sneak food Lena knows Kara has  made clear Alex can’t ask for.

The two of them  shopping on their own  hadn’t happened before, this is an activity that the three always do together. But today Kara went shooting with James and waiting for her simply felt wrong if Lena and Alex could simply do the shopping on their own. So, they are following Kara’s list and no-junk-food rule s .

Rule s that  Alex knows not to cross but is trying anyway.

And talking of the little girl, she comes around the corner with her hands behind her back. She might be expecting Lena to be busy reading labels because she freezes the moment she sees she’s been noticed.

“Alex,” Lena calls her from the other side of the aisle. “Come here.”

Alex looks away for a second and Lena knows she’s contemplating making a run for it.

“Now, Alexandra.”

Alex whines but comes closer.

“What do you have there.”

“ Nuttin ’,” Alex mumbles, shifting her weight  from one foot to the other.

“Alex. Do not lie.”

Alex pouts, still wiggling. She brings her hands forward to show she was trying to sneak a box of Cheez-It.

Lena sighs. “Go put that back right now, Alex. And don’t bring anything else back.”

Alex nods and scurries away. She’s back in less than a minute and she’s thankfully empty - handed.

Lena beckons her close with a finger. She places her hands on Alex’s shoulders and starts scolding her gently. “Stop it, Alex. You know we are here to buy what  _ annen _ wants us to buy. Nothing else.”

Alex looks  down and nods with a small frown. She wiggles a moment and huffs.

Lena’s eyes narrow and she pulls Alex close to her chest. She hugs her lightly, looking around to see if anyone is looking their way. When she’s sure no one is, she gently pats  Alex’s butt.

She sighs again.

“ Com’on ,” she orders, taking Alex by the hand and starting to walk away, leaving the cart behind.

“Lee?” Alex looks back at their shopping in confusion.

Lena shakes her head. “I told you to go to the bathroom before we left, Alex,” she reprimands. “And to put on a pull-up because we were going to spend the day outside.”

Alex blushes deeply at that,  especially since Lena is not talking that quietly and if anyone bothers to listen  to their conversation, they’ll notice right away. “Lee!” she complains quietly, looking around in mild panic.

Lena tugs her hand more urgently. “No one is listening, Alex. But I think people will notice if you suddenly wet your pants.”

Alex’s impressive blush deepens, but she knows she can’t argue with that logic.

“How long have you been holding it?” Lena questions the moment they enter the public restrooms.

Alex looks down, shuffling. “Dunno.”

Lena shakes her head as she directs Alex to the family stall, following behind and closing the door. “You didn’t even notice until now, right? Go.”

Alex groans embarrassed. “You here!” she whines.

Lena rolls her eyes, crossing her arms. “I’ve changed your diapers, Alex. And you’ve  got nothing I haven’t seen.”

Alex flushes even redder. She can feel her ears burning and her eyes stinging a little. “Mama!” she whines. “No!”

Lena is floored by a tiny second, all her annoyance gone and her heart ready to burst. Alex just called her ‘mama’.

This feels like a monumental moment, not one to be had in a seedy bathroom inside a Kroger.

“I’ll look away, angel,” she says gently. “But I need you to be a good girl and go pee.”

Alex sniffs and nods.

Lena turns her back to Alex and soon enough she can hear the twinkling of water meeting water. Her eyes widen at how much the girl had been holding and soon enough, Alex is flushing and murmuring a soft, “done.”

Lena turns back and notices that, while Alex has pulled her pants up, the button of them is not done and half her shirt ended up inside them. She quickly fixes the clothes for her and makes a mental note that she has a little girl in her hands now.

“Let’s go wash our hands and keep shopping, yes?”

Alex nods, plaint.

Lena makes sure Alex washes her hands properly and she dries them for her. In less than five minutes, they are back with their cart and ready to continue their shopping.

“Okay, babygirl,” Lena intones. “New rule.”

“Mama,  noooo !”

Lena rolls her eyes, her heart skipping a beat again. “Baby, yes. I won’t have you running around, so, new rule. You’re to hold the side of the cart at all times.”

Alex gasps. “No!”

“Yes. Unless you want me to put you  _ in _ the cart.”

Alex observes the cart.  _ Anne _ didn’t ask for many things this week, they are mostly buying to replace  a few of the things  _ anne _ wants to always have on hand and to get her more pull-ups and diapers, so it’d be a comfy fit…

Lena’s hand comes to rest on her head,  smoothing back her hair. “You want in the cart?” she asks softly.

Alex’s thumb caresses her  lips and she nods, still staring at it.

Lena gently guides the thumb away. “Okay baby, you can help me sort your  _ annen’s _ list from the cart. Will you be my little helper?”

Alex looks up at Lena and nods eagerly.

Lena makes a quick  job of moving all the stuff to one side to make space for Alex. “Okay, babygirl, in you go.” She gently lifts Alex by the armpits and she places her on the cart. “There. Are you comfy?”

Alex shifts around, leaning her back on the front of the cart so she can easily see Lena as she drives it. “Yeah. Comfy.”

Lena places her hand on Alex’s head again, gently massaging her scalp. “Good. Now  let’s hurry. We still need to drop by my apartment before going  to the charity place.” 

Alex nods and happily lets herself  be rolled wherever mama sees fit.

XxXxX

Alex looks around the small studio apartment in wonder. She’s never been to Lena’s, and this is not what she imagined.

The place looks as bare as their  previous apartment was.

There are  a few pictures up, but other than that she can’t see any knick-knacks at all… she knows all of them are back home.

It’s also dusty and dark, which she guesses comes from Lena spending all her time at home.

“I’ll just be a moment,” she hears Lena come from the bedroom. “Make yourself at home.”

Alex scrunches up her nose at that phrase. She’s never liked it. Up until this year , she hadn’t had a home, so she always felt off when people told her that. And now that she has a home, she really doesn’t want any other.

Still, she wanders around, looking for clues that Lena once lived here.

_ Anne _ finally grew a pair and asked mama to move in officially after Thanksgiving and now Lena is emptying her place little by little in order to put it up for rent.

“Alex.” Alex looks to Lena who is carrying a duffle bag and has a handful of boxes at her feet. “I’m done. Go pee.”

Alex scrunches up her nose again. “Don’t  hafta ,” she grumbles.

Lena sighs. “Alex, we are taking these boxes to be donated. It’s going to be at least another three hours before we reach a bathroom. I already went, it’s your turn.”

Alex crosses her arms. She doesn’t have to, why can’t mama see that?

Lena shakes her head. She drops the bag and takes Alex’s hand in hers, guiding her into the bathroom.

“Mama!” Alex whines. “Don’t  hafta !”

“I know, baby, but you’re going to try either way.”

Alex huffs but, as soon as Lena’s back is to her, she undoes her pants and sits at the toilet. Her eyebrows rise when she, indeed, pees.

“See?” Lena’s voice is soft. “Sometimes we think we don’t have to go, but we do.”

Alex nods once, even when Lena can’t see her. It’s then when she notices something is wrong. “Mama?” she calls in a little whimper.

Lena turns to her immediately. “Baby?”

Alex looks up from her seat in the toilet, her eyes wide and watery. “Pant’s wet.”

Lena startles at that and looks down to see that the panties and pants the kid is wearing are damp enough to be seen. “Oh, baby.”

Alex sniffs and rubs at her eye. “’M sorry.”

Lena rubs at her head. “No, love. Don’t be sorry, accidents happen. I’m not mad and you shouldn’t  be either, okay?”

The kid sniffs again and a little tear rolls down her cheek.

“Oh, babygirl, don’t cry.” Lena places a kiss at the top of her head. “This is nothing that won’t be easily fixed. Wait here for a moment, okay? I’ll be back with something for you to wear.”

Alex can’t stop another tear from falling, but she nods either way. She glares at her bladder when Lena is gone, angry that she didn’t feel anything at all, from the need to go to the actual going.

“Stupid bladder,” she hisses. “Mama’s gonna be mad at us!”

Her bladder, as expected, doesn’t answer.

“ _ Annem’s _ gonna be mad too! Why did you do it!”

She pouts to the wall before her. Stupid body and stupid pee and stupid bathrooms.

She decides to make herself useful and kicks her pants and panties away… which feels good, because stupid pants that got wet.

She also cleans herself as best as she can with the toilet paper. Stupid bladder must’ve misbehaved a while ago because her skin is dry already.

She wishes she could kick her bladder away too.

She looks around, rubbing at her eye. Mama’s bathroom is different than theirs by a lot. For one it’s empty of all the bottles they have in theirs. For two, the curtain has a world map and it baffles Alex that mama would put that up… it’s so boring.

Still, she reads the names on it, if only to pass the time.

Mama is taking too long.

A sickening thought comes in her mind.

What if mama got mad and left?

“Mama?” Alex calls.

There’s no answer.

Alex’s chest squeezes and her breathing hurts. She can feel the tears down her cheeks before she can think  about how her vision becomes blurry. She gasps, trying to find air and she chokes on a sob. “Mama.”

She doubles over. Of course. Of course , she left.

Who would want Alex either way?

_ Annem _ __ is the only one that stays… even if she left already.

“Mama!” Alex yells. “Mama!”

Please, please… mama…

She sobs bitterly, face almost touching her thighs. Stupid Alex, stupid Alex, always pushing people away. Always choosing the wrong choices. Always being so dumb to be good enough. Always being so  _ Alex. _

She scratches at her cheek, leaving red lines behind.

Being Alex is being stupid. Is being weak. Is being dumb. Is being slow. Is being not good enough.

No wonder her parents left. No wonder Kara left. No wonder Lena left. No wonder Veronica-

“Hey,” Lena’s voice tears through her thoughts. “Alex, hey. What’s wrong?”

Alex looks up and sees through her tears mama rushing in.

“Babygirl,” she coos as she kneels by her feet. “Are you in pain? What’s wrong?”

Alex throws her arms around her neck, hugging her tight. “Mama no leave,” she whimpers. “Mama no leave.”

Lena’s body  stiffens. “Love… Love,” she murmurs, hugging the girl tight to her. “I had to run downstairs. I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think… I… I’d never leave you. Baby, no.”

Alex sobs harder at that. Mama didn’t leave. Mama didn’t leave.

Lena pulls the girl down  to her lap, rocking her gently. “Oh, my love. I’m so sorry.

Alex’s thumb finds its way into her mouth and her cries tamper off almost immediately. “Mama,” she mumbles around her thumb.

“Yes, baby. Mama’s here. Don’t you worry, mama’s here.”

Alex nods and cuddles closer.

Mama didn’t leave.

But, what if she does?

XxXxX

Lena looks through the  rear - view mirror to Alex’s sleeping  form in the backseat once she turns off the car, finally at home.

It took a while, but Alex finally calmed down after lots of cuddles and reassurances. She was meek and subdued and made no protest when Lena gently pulled her in one of her old skirts and a pair of pull-ups…

… pull-ups that she stupidly went downstairs to the car to get.

Lena would forever berate herself for such a stupid move.

The kid didn’t protest either when Lena sat her on the backseat, popped the dummy she always carries in her purse in her mouth and fastened her seatbelt for her. She also didn’t say a word when she pulled the blanket she keeps in the backseat over her legs, nor when Lena kissed her forehead before climbing in the driver seat and driving away.

If she didn’t know better, she’d  have thought Alex being this quiet would mean she’s dropped further into her youngest mindset.

But no. She knows better.

She knows Alex is simply hurting.

Lena drove them to the charity center and dropped the boxes at the door, making sure Alex could always see her through the tinted windows of the car, and it  wasn’t until they were finally headed home that Alex fell asleep, still sucking on her dummy.

Lena’s heart aches  to see her so dejected even in sleep.

The house door opens, and Kara comes  to meet them.

Lena exhales heavily and climbs out. 

She just prays Alex will bounce back from this one with minimal trauma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...
> 
> That happened.
> 
> Oops?
> 
> At least Lena is mama now, so yay!


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So sorry guys!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, life happened but we are back!
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)
> 
> Happy reading.

“Shit, shit, shit! Your moms are gonna kill me!”

It was announced by the Parent’s Association that the kids had had a really hard start of the school year with all the punishments dealt around, and thus they decided, against Miss Luthor’s wishes, to give the school a whole week free before the official winter break began. With that much time in their hands, Lucy and Alex had spent their days outside filming for Alex’s channel and simply goofing around.

Receiving the invite to spend most of the break in the Danvers-Zorel-Luthor household shouldn’t have surprised Lucy as it did when Alex let her know she was expected to go to their house at least every other day. Miss Zorel kept sending her lunch with Alex and every time she crosses paths with Miss Luthor at school the principal makes her stop and asks about her day. It’s weird but strangely comfortable.

She’s even having a breakfast at their house every day, sometimes even forgoing her previous arrangements.

She’s sure she’d be invited over for dinner too if Lois and Clark hadn’t decided, after getting hitched over Thanksgiving week, to live at the house until their new home is ready… which coincidentally, is also messing up with her obligations and making her breakfasts escapades even more costly to her in the long run.

But Alex’s moms are awfully nice to her. And she’s happy around them…

And that’s one of the reasons why she is freaking out so much. She doesn’t think she’d be able to face them again after delivering Alex to them like this.

The other reason she’s freaking out is all the blood that’s oozing from Alex’s temple.

It was an easy jump. Alex had to gain momentum before leaping around five feet into the ledge of the next building’s roof. She was supposed to fall in a roll, just to spring back and keep running up a wall, latching on the edge of the small shed in the roof. The end would’ve been Alex pulling herself up and doing a small victory dance before whoever was inside the shed was aware anything was happening.

It was an easy, maybe thirty seconds long, run. It was something Alex has done several times already. Run, jump, roll, run, jump, pull, dance, flee.

Lucy can’t understand how Alex didn’t reach the ledge.

The distance is less than what Alex is used to making.

At least the fall was a short one and into the sand.

Lucy climbed hastily down the building from where she was filming to find a dizzy Alex trying to stand up, blood oozing from her temple and her hand cradled protectively to her stomach.

“Your moms are gonna skin me alive!”

Alex whimpers in response, giving up on trying to stand up.

“Okay, okay.” Lucy frets, her hands hovering over Alex’s slouched from. “What hurts?” Fuck. Stupid question.

Alex’s next whimper is drowned by a sound around the corner and Lucy knows they have little time before someone from the restaurant they kind of trespassed come investigate the noise.

“Shit!” Lucy hisses, taking Alex’s bicep and hauling her to her feet. “I know it’s hard, but run!”

Lucy drags a stumbling Alex behind her, tripping on both their feet.

“Hey!” a man yells behind them, making Lucy curse and run faster, dragging a whimpering Alex with her. “Get back here!”

“Run! Alex!”

Lucy takes them down the street, running as hard and fast as she can to avoid any repercussions. This is not the first time they are chased down due to their trespassing, but it is the first time Alex is making her job hard… it’s usually Alex the one running ahead of her all the time!

Lucy looks behind her, just to make sure they are not being followed, but is only met with a pale Alex, blood still oozing from her head and tears staining her cheeks.

“Shit, Alex…”

Lucy directs Alex to sit against a building, just inside an alley. She thinks they are far enough from the man that was chasing them, but, just in case, she makes sure they can’t be seen from the street.

She directs her attention to her friend and is about to freak out again when she notices a wet patch on Alex’s pants.

Lucy frowns. It’s not dark enough to be blood, she’s seen her fair share of bloodied clothes, but it’s also not big enough to think Alex somehow got water in them. The accident that happened over a month ago comes back to her mind, but still, the spot is way too small for Alex to have wet herself again.

Lucy kneels in front of Alex and brushes the hair away from the cut, making the younger girl whimper, “hurts.”

Lucy nods. “I know, Al.” She inspects the oozing wound as best as she can, trying to assess the damage and what she can do to fix it. Unfortunately, it only takes her a couple of seconds to admit she has no idea what she’s even looking for. “We need to go to the hospital.”

Alex shakes her head, wincing. “No.”

Lucy grabs her by the shoulders, shaking her slightly. “Al. Your brain is leaking out,” she tells her semiseriously.

Alex’s eyes widen at that and the tears start falling faster. “No!” Her hand goes to her head, pressing on the wound and hissing at the pain.

Lucy’s eyes widen. “What the hell, Alex! Don’t touch it!” She grabs the girl’s wrist and pulls the hand away.

Alex whimpers. “Ma brain!”

Lucy rolls her eyes, her heart clenching. “I was joking!” Note to self, do not joke around, no matter how much she craves to joke their way out of this mess. “I was joking,” she says more calmly when Alex’s panicked eyes look up at her. “I promise, Al.”

Alex's other hand is pressed tightly against her stomach and Lucy ignores for a moment the cut to inspect that. She winces when she notices Alex’s pinky is bent in a weird way.

“Wan’ mama,” Alex cries softly. “ _Anne._ ”

Lucy’s heart drops. Her friend has been referring to Miss L as mama a lot lately, so the name doesn’t confuse her, but the way she’s asking for her moms is just so pitiful, that Lucy simply can’t bear it.

Looking down at the younger girl she can’t help but see a little girl in pain and scared.

She can’t also help but feel responsible for all of this.

“Ally,” Lucy sighs. “Your moms are gonna be mad… Let’s try and fix it first, okay?” she doesn’t know how, but she knows taking Alex like this home will just spell disaster.

Options.

She can take Alex home, but that one is ruled out already.

She can take Alex to the nearest hospital, but both are underage, and she doesn't have enough money on her.

They could try the clinic she knows well, but, as stated, she doesn't have money and she doesn’t think that clinic would be helpful with these types of injuries.

Ask for help from any of the passersby? No. Again, them being underage will complicate things.

Adults. They need adults.

Lucy sits next to Alex, taking her uninjured hand in hers. Her friend is still crying softly, but the blood is already drying and clotting, and it looks like not moving is helping her calm down.

Good.

That gives Lucy more time to think.

Alex sniffs and leans against Lucy.

Lucy smiles. “We’ll be alright,” she says in a mumble, squeezing her hand.

Adults.

They need adults because they need the money and they need people not to ask questions.

Adults.

Lois?

No. Lois is always there to bail her out, even if she has to pay her back, and she’s sure Lois would accompany them to the hospital – or at least pick them up. But no. Maybe, big maybe, if dad was still in DC, she’d call Lois. Ever since she moved back into the house, dad came back too for a short time and if she calls Lois, then dad will know too.

And the last thing Lucy needs is dad finding out what she does with her spare time.

As far as he knows, school is still in session and she’s been extremely busy with training and midterms.

Alex’s moms would be her second – or first, now that she thinks about it – option. But, then again. They are out of the question.

Are there any other adults she trusts?

Coach Sylvester is fun and all, but she’s so not an adult she’d trust with this… especially since Alex’s status as Miss L’s favorite has started to leak in the hallways and no doubt she’d call Miss L to inform her of their whereabouts.

She has Dr. Prince’s number thanks toa favor the woman asked of her, but, well, she’s scary and she will definitely call Miss L.

“Wan’ ‘ama,” Alex mumbles, pressing against her. “’ _nnem_ _._ ”

Lucy bites her lip. Looking sideways to Alex, she can see her friend’s thumb inside her mouth and her heart leaps.

Damnit.

Damnit.

Alex is losing it. And fast.

Who to call when-

Wait.

Nia.

Why didn’t Lucy think of Nia _fucking_ Nal?

‘Because you don’t think of her as an adult, dimwit,’ her brain provides.

Nia is the best out there and she’s kept infrequent but constant texting with her, and she knows Alex loves her, so she’s the third-best option.

Fishing out her phone, Lucy is happy to realize she just waisted five minutes in between the fall and now – her brain was scary quick but also so dumb.

Nia. It has to be Nia.

She quickly dials her.

“ _Hi, Luce!”_ is the chipper response. “ _Fancy hearing from you.”_

Lucy grimaces. Yeah, she’s not the best at keeping up socially, parties notwithstanding. Alex’s group was the only one she ever made an effort to hang around with, and that was mostly because she ended up dating Siobhan and it was always a wild ride what Max and Alex could come up with. They were fun and like a shot of adrenaline to the veins, so she kept around.

She’s glad she did.

She has Alex because of that.

Speaking of, “Alex is hurt,” she rushes out.

The change in tone is immediate. “What happened?”

“We were recording. She fell from a two-story roof.”

“ _Shit!”_

“My thoughts exactly. Help.”

Lucy can hear some shuffle on the other side of the line. “ _Where are you?”_

Lucy looks around. “Behind a Papa John’s on Santa Monica Boulevard.”

“ _… what the fuck are you doing all the way there?”_

“We are on break!” Lucy defends themselves. Yes, they are far from home, but it was not like taking an hour bus to and back would be a problem. They didn’t plan on Alex falling!

“ _Fine, jeez, don’t smart with me. I’m not the one doing stupid shit halfway across the city!”_

Lucy’s breath hitches at the sharp reprimand and before she can think twice, she hangs up.

“Cee,” Alex slurs.

Lucy blinks back tears and focuses on Alex. She hugs the younger girl to her body. “Imma fix it,” she mumbles. “Promise.”

She looks around. Problem is…

… how?

XxXxX

The Parents’ Association is a pain in the butt. She grew to know that in the first two months she started working at the school. They are always asking for longer breaks, more holidays, and several other concessions that Lena has to sell a limb to have approved with the district.

She’s actually highly surprised that the school was given the go-ahead to have an extra week of vacation time, but, then again, she knows one guy in the main office is a former DEO student, so maybe she shouldn’t be _that_ surprised.

That’s what happens when your school is old and small and built around a community that barely sees newcomers. Alex and Maggie Sawyer were the first two transfer students Lena had to deal with and it was just destiny that they both arrived at the same time. Looking at the records, she found out that the last transfer before them is around her age.

So, yes, she thinks that one guy in administration has everything to do with how she finds herself in her office one late morning, filing the last of her papers before she too can head into an early vacation.

She promised Kara and Alex that she’d be done by today, and it looks like she’ll be able to fulfill that promise.

They don’t have plans for the break, other than maybe throw a party for Kara.

Kara and Alex celebrate Christmas in the sense that Alex loves eggnog and Kara and her exchange gifts sometime during the last weeks of the year. Lena knows she’s not in for a normal Christmas this year, and, truth to be told, she’s not looking forward to having a tree or a big dinner, or buying candy, she just wants to spend time with her girls and relax.

That’s a surprising thought. She’s loved Christmas since she was a little girl, but now that she’s older, she can identify that what she loved about Christmas is the opportunity it gave her to spend time with Lex and her mama.

Christmas in the Luthor household is not like Thanksgiving. Christmas meant a long string of balls and charity events to attend, but it also meant two whole weeks in which she and Lex could sneak off to play chess, or her mama would indulge in sleeping with her. Thanksgiving is reserved for family only, and while Christmas means entertaining people and smooching, both gave Lena the chance to be with her favorite people.

Mama invited them to spend the holidays with her in Metropolis, but Alex can’t leave the state without a permit and they decided it was too much of a hassle to try and get one this late into the season. J’onn might be a darling and help them out, Kara said, but even he can’t expedite a procedure when the social service offices are getting ready to close down for the holidays.

So, they are staying at home with no big plans at all.

Lucy is of course invited, she’s always invited in their home, and the girl has surprised Lena with how eager she’s been at showing up for breakfast every day so far.

Kara and she have spoken about it plenty, and they’ve interrogated Alex over it too. Lucy is indeed only eating when they feed her, so she’s glad the kid is coming over to at least have one meal daily.

She’d be happier if Lucy came by for dinner too, but she understands that her sister is home and so, Lucy has to be home too. She wants to believe Lucy is having dinner daily too, but she still feels better when she sees Lucy packing up in the mornings, just across Alex and making idle chatter with them all.

She’s a little concerned, however, that no matter if she and Alex would hang out later in the day, Lucy is always out the door before nine.

Always.

She asked her about it, and the kid lied.

Just like she lied when she asked where she spends her time in the evenings.

At least Lucy had the decency not to lie and tell her she was at practice. She just told her she was busy doing school projects, and lately, when interrogated, she keeps insisting she’s spending time with her sister.

Even Alex saw through that one.

But, because Lena believes in keeping an eye on things but not interfering until invited into the problem, and Kara believes Lucy is capable of knowing when enough is enough, they are just waiting on the girl.

Lena just hopes it’ll be soon.

She’s a little worried.

Her phone ringing brings her out of her musings and paperwork.

She looks at the screen and her brows furrow. Speak of the devil.

She gave Lucy her number when it became clear Lena was staying and Lucy was too.

“Lucy,” she answers in a breath.

She gave the kid her number over three months ago, and this is the first time she’s been contacted at all.

“ _Miss L.”_ Lena can hear some background noise that is just… off. “ _We’re at Memorial Hospital.”_

Lena’s breath catches.

“ _I tried to fix it, I swear,”_ Lena can hear the tears in the kid’s voice, yet there is no sobbing. “ _But_ _there_ _was blood and I think she broke her finger and I didn’t know what to do and I tried fixing it but she needed help and I’m sorry I brought her here and-”_

“Lucy,” Lena cuts smoothly, fighting against her own need to panic. “What happened?”

Lucy gives a shuddering breath. _“I’m sorry, she fell from a roof. Hurt her head and hand.”_

Lena nods at that and stands up to start powering everything off. “Are _you_ hurt?”

Lucy keeps silent.

“Lucy, I need to know if you are hurt.”

“ _… no, ma’am.”_

Lena nods to the air again. “Okay. Now. How much blood are we talking about? From where?”

_“Head. Lots.”_

Damnit. “You said she broke her finger?”

_“Ye-Yeah. It was bent. She kept crying.”_

Lena closes her eyes at that. Of course, her baby was crying. “Are you still with her?”

_“N-No. They took her to have an x-ray.”_

Okay, okay that’s good. “And her head?” Finally, everything is off and she wastes no time in taking her keys and closing her office for the rest of the year.

Paperwork be damned, she’s kinda her own boss and she can come back before term to finish everything.

Her girls need her.

“ _They gave her painkillers… she got five stitches.”_

Lena’s heart clenches at that and she locks the building completely.

 _“But I was with her all the time!”_ The kid rushes to explain. “ _She cried_ _a_ _little! And she was calm when she went into the x-ray, I swear! I couldn’t go with, but she was calm!”_

Lena chuckles wetly at that, climbing in her car. “Thank you, Lucy. Thank you so much.”

“ _’S ma fault,”_ Lucy mumbles. “ _Couldn’t take care’f her.”_

Lena stops all motion before starting the car. “Lucy,” she says, voice stern. She regrets her tone a little when she can hear the tiny whimper coming from the girl. “Did you push her?”

“ _No!”_

“Then it’s not your fault,” she keeps her tone stern and serious. “I’m going to be hanging up now, Lucy. I’ll meet you there soon. Do you know if they’ve called Kara?”

_“I told them I was going to contact her, cuz she changed her number.”_

Smart little thing. “You did well. I’m meeting you in ten minutes.”

“ _Yes, ma’am. See ya in a bit.”_

“ _Thank_ you, Lucy,” she says before hanging up.

She’ll break all traffic rules if she needs to, but she’ll get to them in the next ten minutes.

Tickets be damned.

She’ll callKara once she knows exactly what’s going on.

If it was up to her, she wouldn’t call her at all, but Kara is Alex's guardian and they’ll need her signature to sign her off.

Fuck.

She’s not looking forward to that conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it, folks! We have one panicky Lucy, one injured Alex, and one definitely driving like crazy Lena.
> 
> Pick your champion!
> 
> In other news, we've crossed the 700 comments mark, and I'm happy and giddy over it!
> 
> To celebrate this, Imma go ahead and admin comments so I can make sure I catch commenter 727. Commenter 727 if they so wish so, can prompt me and I'll be writing them a one-shot of whatever they want to read about.
> 
> So, don't freak out if you get a notification saying your comment is due for revision before publication, okay?


	52. Chapter 52

“Lucy!”

Lucy turn s around to see Miss L rushing towards her. She didn’t believe the woman would show up in so little time. Sure, the ten minutes are up, but they are indeed across the city from home.

“Miss!”

Miss L stops before her and places her  hands on Lucy’s shoulders. She turns her one way, then the other. “Blood?” she asks.

Lucy gulps. “Not mine.”

Miss L nods. She squeezes her shoulders. “Where’s Alex?”

“They haven’t brought her back. They asked me if I called Miss Z… I told them she’s on her way.”

Lena sighs and presses a kiss to  Lucy’s forehead. “Good girl,” she praises. “Did they tell you how long they’ll be?”

Lucy blinks, eyes wide. She shakes her head. 

Just at that moment, almost as if it were planned, a voice calls into the waiting room. “Family of Alex Danvers?”

Lena takes Lucy’s hand and rushes to the nurse calling them. “Yes,” she says. “What’s wrong with Alex?”

The nurse looks at her, and how she’s holding onto the teen’s hand. “Family?” she repeats.

Lena nods. “I’m her mother,” she announces firmly.

Lena knows Alex and her look nothing alike, but still. The nurse narrows her eyes a little, but she nods back. “She’s asking for you and an An-Ne?”

Lucy snorts at the botched-up word and Lena gives her hand a tiny squeeze in warning. “Yes. Me and my partner.”

The nurse nods again, something like recognition passing behind her eyes. “Would you care to come with? She broke her pinky and  she’ll need  to wear a cast for a couple of months. She’ll feel better if you are with her while we cast her.”

“Of course,” Lena answers her easily.

The nurse starts leading the way into the back of the ER room but stops when she notices Lena is still tugging Lucy behind her. “I’m sorry, but there can only be one person with the patient.”

Miss L’s eyes harden, and Lucy feels sorry for this poor nurse. She’s young and she’ll soon feel the wrath of hell. “I’m not leaving my other kid behind,” she says sternly.

Lucy gulps at those words and involuntarily shuffles closer to Miss L. 

The nurse eyes Lena and Lucy for a couple of seconds before her eyes soften. “I assume you’ll behave?” she asks Lucy kindly.

“Yes, ma’am,” she answers dutifully.

“Then come along,” the nurse turns around and keeps walking. “Her break is a clean one and the casting will be done quickly,” she informs Lena as they pass occupied beds. “You’ll be back home in an hour easily.”

Lena nods, grateful. “Lucy told me she got stitches?”

The nurse smiles. “Yes. Your kids are good ones. Lucy here helped us calm Alex down while we tended to her. Five stitches  on her temple,” she points to the  right  side of her own head. “I’ll give you a list so you can tend to them at home. We gave her mild painkillers, so she won’t be feeling them for a while.”

“Thank you,” Lena breathes out. 

They soon find themselves at the end of the hall. There, just beyond the door, Alex sits on a table, crying.

“Lexie,” Lena calls, pulling Lucy into the room.

At hearing her name, Alex’s head  shoots u p and her eyes widen. “Mama!” she cries, trying to climb down the table, only to be stopped by the male nurse in the room.

“Shhh, babygirl,” Lena calls, coming to her. “Don’t move, angel.”

“Mama,” Alex sobs in Lena’s shoulder, hugging her with her good arm. “Mama.”

Lena runs her hand up and down the girl’s back. “My sweet girl,” she coos. “Mama’s here.”

Lucy looks away. Her hand is still within Miss L’s bigger one and thus she’s close to them, but the sight she’s presented with is too personal and private, and while she doesn’t feel like she’s intruding, she still wants to give them some privacy.

“Mama go,” Alex pleads.

“Angel,”  Lena kisses the uninjured part of her temple. “We need the good nurses to  fix your finger first.”

“’urt mama!”

“I know, baby. But you’ve been a brave girl and I’m so proud of you.” Lena shifts to the side, making Lucy look back at her. “I’m proud of both of you,” she says firmly.

Lucy flushes and looks down to avoid Miss L’s intense gaze.

The nurse that  led  them into the room comes forwards. “Now that mom is here, do you think we can cast your finger, Alex?”

Alex sniffs pitifully. “Hurt.”

The nurse smiles gently. “No, love. It won’t hurt one bit… and you get to choose your color!”

Alex rubs at her eye, her  tears starting to dry out now that Lena and Lucy are back with her. “Okay,” she mumbles.

“Good girl,” Lena praises. “You’re my good girl.”

“Why don’t mom and sister go to the side so we can work on you?” the male nurse asks gently.

Alex shakes her head frantically, making her wince.

Lena winces back in sympathy. “Baby, no.” She cradles the girl’s face in her hand, her other never leaving Lucy’s hand. “Don’t move like that.”

“Mama,” Alex dissolves into tears again, leaning forward to be closer to Lena. “Mama.”

Miss L hugs her to her chest to keep her from falling, finally releasing Lucy’s hand. Lucy tries not to miss the contact.

Lena sighs. She looks at the nurses, thinking for a moment. “Can you work if I hold her still?”

The male nurse nods. “Sure. It’d probably be better.”

Lena nudges Alex. “Step down baby,” she commands gently.

Once Alex is standing up, albeit  wobbly , Lena sits on the table and pulls the girl on her lap. It’s uncomfortable and she has to shuffle a bit, but soon enough Alex is cradled in her arms, sniffling softly. She hugs the girl to her chest by the waist, letting the nurses work  on Alex’s arm.

Lucy starts shuffling to the side to leave room for the nurses, but Lena calls to her gently. “Hop up, Luce.”

Lucy does as asked, and soon enough she’s sitting on the table, watching as Alex gets her cast on. Miss L’s hand finds hers again, squeezing gently for a second before she gets back at keeping Alex still with both hands.

Lucy’s chest hurts a little at that and she can’t help but lean against Miss L’s side, finally relaxing. Miss L will take care of everything now.

“It was a difficult day, wasn’t it?” the nurse asks, seeing how Lucy’s body practically melts.

Lucy just nods. She really thought Alex was going to end up with a concussion or worse. A broken pinky and a nasty cut are better than what she expected.

“You have a responsible one in your hands,” the other nurse comments as he rolls a little table with gauzes and strips near them. “She wouldn’t  leave  her sister alone  for  one bit. Made  quite a scene when we took Alex for her x-ray.”

Lena smiles at the older teen. “Yes. Lucy is our little  hellr a iser .” She turns back to the nurses. “I apologize. She’s overprotective and takes good care of her sister.”

The female nurse starts wrapping Alex's fingers and wrist. “It was no problem. We get our fair share of panicked people in here.”

Lucy shuffles a bit. “I’m sorry,” she tells them honestly. “I just didn’t want her to be alone.”

“We get it, we do.” The nurse finishes with the wrapping and turns to Lena. “We’ll be casting her whole hand, to make sure the bone sets properly. It’s a clean break so it  shouldn’t  present any trouble in the future.”

Alex sniffs, looking at her bound hand. “No use?”

The nurse smiles. “No. You won’t be able to use your hand for a while.”

Lena rubs on the kid’s back. “Good thing you’re a leftie, uh?”

Alex nods, miserably, biting on her thumb.

Lucy squeezes Alex’s knee. “I’ll help you out, okay?”

Alex brightens a little at that, even when Lena gently removes the thumb from her mouth.

The male nurse  comes around again, bringing a bundle of colorful gauzes. “Time to pick a color!” he announces cheerfully.

Alex sits up straighter at that. She observes the colors offered and her nose twitches. She turns back to Lena, mumbling, “blue?”

Lena observes the colors at hand and immediately finds one almost the same shade as Alex’s favorite dummy. “This one, baby?” she asks softly, pointing to a baby blue one.

Alex nods and the nurse immediately passes it on to his coworker. “Great choice, Alex.”

Alex blushes at the compliment and  cuddle s into her mama.

The whole procedure is swift and relatively painless. Lucy keeps Alex’s attention on her when it looks like Alex might go back to tears and Lena’s hand never stops rubbing soothing circles on her back. Before long, Alex’s right hand is covered in pale blue all the way down her wrist, leaving only her index and thumb free.

“I like it,” Lucy comments. “We can draw on it later.”

Alex nods with a small smile before letting out a small yawn.

“I believe we are done here,” the nurse announces. “I’ll give you a couple of sheets to take care of the cast and the stitches and you just need to sign her out.”

Lena nods. Now that Alex is done and good, she needs to call Kara. “We have to wait for my partner,” she says. “Can we wait here?”

The nurse nods. “Sure thing.”

She and her partner tidy everything up quickly and are gone in less than five minutes. It is then  that Lena turns to Lucy. “I need you to stay here with Alex while I call Kara.”

“Sure thing, Miss L.”

Lena presses a kiss to Lucy’s temple before doing likewise with Alex. “I’m glad both of you are okay now.”

“Mama?” Alex slurs.

“Baby?”

“Wet.”

Lucy’s eyebrows  shoot  up at that.

Lena’s  hand comes to the kid’s butt, where she can feel that indeed, Alex’s pull-up is saturated. “Oh, baby.” Without thinking much about it, she hands Lucy her purse. “Go to the car and bring me the duffle that’s  in  the trunk. I’m parked on the left side of the building.”

Lucy takes the purse and rushes to do as commanded, leaving her own bag and phone behind.

Lena sighs deeply as Alex  cuddles c loser. “Today was hard indeed, uh,  babygirl ?”

Alex nods. “Go, mama,” she requests softly. 

Lena nuzzles the top of her head, as far away as possible from the stitches. “Not right away, sweetie. We are going to change you and then you’ll stay with Lucy for a little bit while I call  _ annen _ to come pick us up.”

Alex whimpers at that. “No  _ annem. _ ”

Lena sighs. She hugs her tighter to her chest. “Baby, I promise you she won’t be mad. Worried, surely, but not mad.”

Alex sobs out then. “She mad! No hospital! No! Hospitals bad!”

Lena’s brow  furrow s . The conviction behind that statement is too strong… and it takes her back to when Alex first told her Kara g e t s to make the decisions for her.

It sounds firm but rehearsed.

_ Damn it, Kara, _ she thinks.  _ What have you done? _

“Alex,” Lena says firmly. “I’ll deal with Kara. Do you understand?”

Alex shivers and Lena feels wetness starting to spread on her lap.

“Alex,” she says again. She needs the girl to hear her. “Do you understand? I’ll deal with her.”

“… yes, mama.”

Lena’s posture relaxes. “Good girl. My good girl.”

Just at that moment Lucy’s phone starts buzzing beside her. She looks at it and the word ‘daddy’ is displayed on the screen. It buzzes for a minute before the screen goes black, just to turn on again with the notifications displayed in the lock screen.

Fifteen calls missed from ‘daddy’ and twenty messages from him.

She frowns.

She thought Lucy didn’t get along with Colonel Lane.

“Here’s the duffle,” Lucy comes almost running.

Lena motions to the side, clearly indicating Lucy where to rest the bag. “Can you open it and take two pairs of pants from it?”

Lucy frowns concerned. “She wet herself again,” she states, looking at the dark, now visible, patch on Alex’s crotch.

Lena smiles pained. “We’ll talk about it later, yes?”

Lucy’s frown deepens when she does as asked, opening the duffle and noticing the things inside it. “Miss L,” she mutters. “What the fuck?”

“We’ll talk later,” Lena requests again. “Right now, I need to change Alex and myself.”

Lucy shakes her head and decides to do as asked, digging into the duffle and ignoring the diapers and pacifiers she finds in there to get to the bottom, where there are several pieces of comfortable clothing. She gets out two pairs of pants, just as requested. “These okay?” she asks puzzled.

Lena looks at the offered clothing and nods. “I’ll change her now,” she says quietly. “You have several missed calls from your dad. Why don’t you go call him while I do that?”

Lucy knows a dismissal when she hears one. She has no intention of returning the calls at the moment, having Miss L so close will just spell trouble if she does so. Yet, she nods and takes her phone, leaving Miss L to deal with whatever she needs with Alex.

She doesn’t close the door all the way, though. And she keeps  beside  it, listening to Miss L and Alex.

Miss L is the best… or so she thought.

Now. Now, she doesn’t know what to think.

She just listens and keeps alert.

She won’t let them hurt Alex.

Not like that.

XxXxX

“ _ Hey, love! Are you already home?” _

“Kara… where are you?”

_ “Uh? I told you I was recording with James. Why? You sound off.” _

“Is he with you?”

“ _ Yeah. What’s going on?” _

“ Go sit down , please.”

“ _ Lena, you’re scaring me.” _

“Please, baby,  go sit down .”

_ “Okay. Okay… Done.” _

_ “ _ Kara, you need to come to Memorial Hospital. She is fine now, but Alex got in an accident and we need you to take her home.”

_ “What happened?” _

Kara’s tone throws Lena off guard. With how Alex acted, and with what she’s seen so far of her girlfriend, Lena thought that Kara would be losing it by now. Instead, Kara sounds focused and composed.

Maybe a little too composed.

“She fell from a roof. She got a cut and a broken finger.”

Kara exhales on the other side and Lena can hear shuffling and banging. “ _ But she is fine,”  _ she states.

“A little shaken up, but she is. Lucy was with her all the time and I got here about an hour ago.”

“ _ Why didn’t you call me?” _ Kara demands in a whisper and Lena can imagine her furrowing her brows and pouting just so.

Kara isn’t mad.

Why would Alex claim she’ll be?

“Because we all know you hate hospitals.”

Kara laughs bitterly, the sound overlapping with her turning on  t he car. “ _ I do. But Alex is the one terrified of them.” _

Lena bites her lip. She’ll need to address how these two just keep saying the other is the one why they won’t go to a hospital. This looks too much like lack of communication with a heavy dose of misunderstanding. “She’s calm, babe,” she murmurs. “So, don’t worry about that. Hang up now. We’ll see each other in a bit.”

“ _ Okay. I’ll be there in half an hour. Love you.” _

Lena smiles. “Love you too.”

Everything is fine.

Everything is fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything is fine.
> 
> Is it?


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I miscalculated. For those who are not as happy with Lucy's roll in here, you can totally read this chapter.
> 
> For those who were waiting for shit to hit the fan... this is not the chapter.
> 
> I apologize, guys

The door shuts behind them and all the tension  leaves  from their collective bodies.

Kara is cradling a drowsy Alex in her arms and she wastes no time in taking the kid up the stairs to change her in more comfortable clothing, leaving the other two behind.

Lena and Lucy shared tired smiles.

It was a hard day for all.

“You are staying the night,” Lena states.

Lucy shakes her head. “I can’t.”

“Why ever not?” Lena asks as she leads the girl to the kitchen. It’s early but  no one  had lunch and breakfast felt like too long ago. It’s time to sort out dinner.

Lucy shrugs. 

“I’ll talk to your dad if that’s what worries you.”

The girl shakes her head. “I promised I’d meet Kate and Sara.”

Lena smiles sadly, ruffling on the one drawer she’d saved her favorite restaurant’s menus. Kara might not like them to have take-out often, but today is a take-out kind of day. “I know you are lying,” she comments offhandedly pushing two menus on the counter. “Chinese or Indian?”

Lucy sighs deeply. “I’m not lying…” She picks one of them. “Indian.”

“You are.” Lena pokes her side, making Lucy giggle involuntarily. “I’m good at detecting lies. But I’m also good at knowing when not to push.”

“I’m not-”

“Ah-hah,” Lena scolds. “Please, stop lying. I respect you don’t want to share with me. I won’t pry. I just need you to know I know you are lying, in fact, I believe you’ve been lying a lot lately… just…” She stares deeply into Lucy’s eyes. “Are you safe?”

Lucy’s breath catches. “Ma’am, I-”

“Are you safe, Lucy Lane?” Lena intones in her sterner voice.

Lucy curls  in  on herself at the tone. “Yes,” she answers meekly.

Lena nods. “Then I just need you to know, you’ll always have a place here. And you can come talk to me whenever you’re ready. Okay?”

Lucy sniffs and nods.

Lena’s sternness evaporates then. Maybe this was not the best moment to bring that up. It was indeed a hard day for  all of them , and Lucy got the brunt of it. Lena is tired and ready to collapse, and it shows in how she scolded the girl. “I’m sorry, Luce,” she says softly. “I’m sorry I lashed out.”

“’S okay.”

Lena places a hand on the kid’s shoulder, and she frowns at  how tense the girl gets . “It’s not.” She squeezes the shoulder gently, before pulling her into a hug. “I’m really sorry.”

Lucy smiles thinly, melting a little  into the hug.

“Now, Indian?”

XxXxX

“Ready to talk now?”

Alex pouts from her seat on Kara’s lap. “We  hafta ?”

Lena nods. “Yes. We  hafta .”

“Luce not here,” Alex pouts. “No fair.”

“Because she has stuff to do. But don’t worry, we’ll talk with her too soon enough.”

“We are not going to scold you,” Kara says gently. “We just want to know what happened and make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

Alex’s pout intensifies. 

Lena and Kara share a look. That pout means whatever their kids did was not well thought.

“Alex,” Lena starts. “How did you fall?”

Alex shrugs.

Kara jostles the kid on her lap. “Come on, Alex. The faster we do this the faster we can go cuddle in bed and sleep.”

The tips of Alex’s ears redden. “I tripped,” she mumbles.

“You… tripped,” Kara repeats, unsure.

Alex nods. “Was gonna make a jump and then I tripped and then  auch .”

“ Auch indeed.” Lena combs some hair out the kid’s eyes. “What kind of jump was it, babygirl?”

“Roof to roof.”

Lena and Kara wince.  Auch indeed.

“What did you trip with,  _ minnoş _ ?”

Alex’s blush comes back, now reddening her whole face. She points to her socks. “Lace.”

Lena can’t help it. She facepalms. “You tripped with your undone shoelace?”

Alex nods bashfully. 

Kara and Lena share another look. Really? All this drama for one bad laced shoe?

“ _ Minnoş _ … how old were you then?”

Alex’s head tilts to the side, thinking. She holds up three fingers.

Lena sighs and Kara shakes her head. It’s not like they can control how Alex goes up and down her ages, not even Alex can do that, so they need to find a way for Alex to drop safely if she’s on her own.

Not that she was on her own. Lucy proved to keep being a great friend for Alex.

Maybe it is time to have that conversation with her.

It’s not like Lucy didn’t see what was in Alex’s duffle, after all.

Lena pecks the kid’s healthy temple. “I vote we get you some laceless shoes.”

Alex nods solemnly, blinking slowly.

Kara smiles tenderly. “Someone missed their nap,” she comments easily. “I think it is bedtime.”

Alex’s eyes widen. “ _ Anne, _ _ hayır! _ ”

“Yes, baby,” Lena says gently. 

The kid’s eyes start to water. “Early, mama.”

It is early. Food took about an hour to arrive and they  spent another eating and making small talk. They mainly made sure the girls were calm and relaxed after everything that happened to them, and while they  had wanted Lucy to stick around to really make sure she was fine, the kid escaped as soon as she could.

They let her, even when they really wanted to keep her with them.

Kara cuddles the kid closer, shifting her enough so that she’s now cradling her across her lap. “We know,  _ minnoş _ , but you need to rest, and I bet you are tired. Let’s at least lay down, yeah?”

Alex sniffs, looking up at her moms. “No wanna.”

“Oh?” Kara pouts slightly. “But I wanted to nurse and relax…”

Lena smiles softly when a small shadow comes over Alex’s eyes. There’s something in her gaze, something in how she suddenly looks, that let the adults know she’s dropped into her youngest mindset.

“Lexie,” Lena singsongs. “Let’s cuddle, yes?”

Alex nods, the tip of her thumb caressing her lip, her injured hand  pressed t ight against her tummy and she whines.

“What’s the matter, babygirl?”

Alex tries switching hands, using her casted one to caress her  lip  and the other to make a grabby hand for Lena. It works for about two seconds before Alex cries out in pain and lowers her injured hand.

“Oh, angel,” Lena gently rubs the kid’s  head . “It’ll take you a while to remember you can’t use your hand, baby.”

Alex sniffs pitifully.

“Come on, babygirl,” Lena says, standing up from their couch and taking Alex in her arms. It’s uncommon for Lena to carry Alex, given how she is weak as a waif, but the girl is tiny and a little underweight, so she may be able to carry her up the stairs.

Maybe.

“Are you sure  you won’t drop her ?” Kara asks a little amused.

Lena sniffs, marching away, Alex hanging from her like a little monkey. “ Of course , I won’t .”

Kara shakes her head and stands to follow them quickly.

It would just be t heir luck if Alex falls down again.

XxXxX

“We need to talk.”

They left Alex fast asleep in their bed. She only nursed for half an hour before falling asleep, and knowing her, she’ll stay put for at least a couple of hours.

They know to get ready for nightmares, but, for the moment, they need to talk.

James and  J’onn have been contacted. The first because he was with Kara when she found out, the second because he needs to be aware of everything  major that happens to Alex.

So, the only thing that’s left to do, is  to talk  to  each other.

Lena nods to Kara and follows her to the kitchen. They’ll need tea for this one.

Once seated at the breakfast bar, with mugs of hot mint tea, Kara starts, “Why didn’t you call me right away?” There’s no anger in her voice, but Lena can detect a little resentment there.

“We all know you hate hospitals. That you hate taking Alex to one.”

Kara shakes her head. “I’m not dumb enough to think Alex wouldn’t need one with a broken bone.”

Lena raises an eyebrow at that. “Last month she was burning up and you wouldn’t budge. That’s just as serious.”

“Yeah, but last month Alex was too out of it and she was panicking over the hospital.”

“She was too out of it today too. She wet her pants on my lap. She was talking like Lexie.”

“Look,” Kara says a little defensively. “Alex hates doctors and hospitals, so I was trying to make her more at ease, okay? She always panics and throws fits. ”

Lena smiles sadly. “She was not panicky. She was wiggly, crying in pain, sure, but she was not panicky. The only moment she started to panic was when I told her I was going to call you. She said, and I quote, ‘ _ annem _ __ mad’. She was worried you’d be angry.”

Kara rolls her eyes. “She knows I wouldn’t.”

“Does she?” Lena asks tenderly. “Love, Alex wouldn’t go to a doctor because you said no to them first… maybe she’s so panicky because she thinks you’ll get mad somehow.”

Kara narrows her eyes. “That’s bullshit.”

“Not really. Kara, if Alex thinks you’d be mad,  it’s plausible she’d fight against it with all her might.  She’s  always making sure you are not mad with her.”

Kara scoffs. “Now that  _ is _ bullshit. The kid has a mile long of things she’s done to make me angry. If she  didn’t  want me mad, she’d behave. She’d be a good girl and stop messing with parties, drugs, fights, and shoplifting.”

Lena hums. She’s starting to get into dangerous territory, and she needs to tread carefully. “But she doesn’t do any of that anymore.”

“Because she knows I’ ll tan her behind if she tries again.”

“… Kara,” Lena says softly. “It is possible Alex only misbehaved because she wanted your attention?”

Kara rolls her eyes again. She stands up to start washing their cups and put some distance between them. “Now you sound like  Nia .”

Lena frowns at Kara’s back. With her washing the dishes she has no way of seeing her face, but her body is tense and her movements erratic. “What do you mean?”

Kara scrubs on a cup with much more force than necessarily. “ Nia says Alex was a wild one because she was always demanding attention, which is bull, and that now we have this arrangement, she’s mellow and compliant.”

“Well… she’s not wrong. Alex is mellow and compliant. The times she’s disobeyed are few and far in between and you have to admit those were pretty tame things.”

Kara slams the cup down to be dried. “Damnit, Lena. You don’t know shit,” she hisses.

“Then walk me through it.”

“What for? It’s pointless.”

Lena’s eyebrow quirks. Kara is opening up more than usual. Should she keep pushing or  would  that  backfire on her?

It is rare when Kara talks. No matter  that  she’s angry and frustrated, and taking it out on Lena. She’s  _ finally _ talking.

“When was the first time Alex stole?”

Kara finished with their cups already, but she keeps her back to her. “Does it matter?”

“It does to me.”

Kara sighs angrily. “She was around twelve. I got sick and she got me the money for meds.”

Lena’s eyebrows shot up. “And you accepted that?” She knows her girls had it rough for years, but she didn’t think it was  _ that _ bad.

Kara chuckles mirthlessly. “What would I do? I needed to keep working, and James and I got kicked out of  our apartment.”

Lena’s heart throbs at the admission. She doesn’t know how that would’ve felt. At all.

“Then she stole food because, of course, I couldn’t meet month’s end and she was not being fed. So, she stole some food and we got to eat for three more days.” Lena sees how Kara’s shoulders start slumping. “And that time Ms. Henshaw threw all her stuff away? She got to steal school supplies around the city… Hell, I think she still keeps the first sharpener she stole.”

Lena’s eyes are misted by now. 

She didn’t think she’d be opening this can of worms.

“Then she kept doing it because we always needed something or another. By the time I had enough money, it was a habit that I encouraged in the first place. She kept doing it for the rush and who was I to tell her to stop? I told her it was okay. I taught her it was fine.”

“Kara…”

“And of course, when she started drinking… did I have the right to scold her? No, Lena. I didn’t. The illegal bets she used to place all around the hood? Damn it, that paid six months  of rent because I got fired! I was a stupid stripper and got fired cuz a drunk tried to get handsy!”

Lena’s breath hitched at the admission. She never thought their lives had been so… rough. No. Rough is not the word she’s looking for.

… she’s not even sure what word would sum  up their lives.

“She’s done so much bad shit, Lena, and all because I taught her it was okay. Because I had no right to tell her that she kept fucking it up.” Kara finally turns around to face her and it’s no surprise her cheeks are wet, and her eyes are red.

It suddenly occurs to Lena that this is the first time she’s seen Kara cry.

“So, please, don’t come and tell me she was looking for attention. She did bad stuff thanks to me. She did so because, at the time, there was no other option, and when there was, it was too late. I messed up her life. I ruined her.”

Lena blinks and a single tear rolls down her cheek. “I think you’re wrong,” she whispers.

Kara chuckles wetly. “Didn’t you hear all I said?”

Lena nods and stands to face Kara properly. “I did. And that’s why I know you are wrong.” She points to the ceiling. “That girl upstairs? That girl has the bigger, warmest heart I’ve ever known. That kid sleeping in our bed? She brightens even the darker days. She’s like a beacon of light. That girl that calls you  _ annem _ ? That girl adores the shit out of you. She’s not a bad person, she never was. She was lost, and yes, I still believe she did most of what she did to demand your attention. She knows stealing is wrong, she knows drinking is not good for her, nor the drugs, she does, you’ve taught her that. She stopped the moment you told her to.

“If you had ‘ruined her’ as you so dumbly put it, then, no matter what you’ve done, she’d be in jail right now. If you had messed up her life, she wouldn’t be this little girl that  trusts you with all her heart. Kara, open your eyes. You are her world and she was lost. You found her again. That, Kara, was the moment she stopped demanding your attention and doing bad things.”

Kara sobs out then and Lena immediately accepts her in her arms. “I-I abandoned her,” Kara whispers brokenly. “I left her a-alone and pretended everything was alright. She s-should hate me.”

Lena frowns. She doesn’t know what Kara is talking about. But, pushing for more would just be too much for Kara. This is the first time Kara opens up with her like this and she doesn’t want to overwhelm her.

So, she just hugs her tight and lets her cry against her shoulder. “She doesn’t hate you, love. She adores you. You’re her  _ annem _ _. _ ”

Kara chuckles, a little mirth coming through. “I don’t even know how to be a mother.”

Lena smiles and starts swaying them side to side. “You are learning, Kara. And you keep loving her, so you’re off a great start.”

Kara hugs Lena tight as if the brunette was a lifeline. “You’re a better mom.”

Lena hums. “I’m not. I’m still learning like you  are .”

“It does not bother you, right?” Kara asks. “That she calls you mama, that she’s adopted you?”

Lena shakes her head, squeezing her girlfriend. “Babe, Alex is the best kid in the world. Believe me, I’m honored.”

Kara shudders out a sigh. “I’m glad. She loves you.”

“And I love her. You did an amazing job raising her.”

Kara chuckles again. “I just laid out all my mistakes and you say that?”

Lena pushes Kara away, enough the blonde can see in her face how honest she’s being. “Of course. You just told me how you kept trying to give her a good life until you succeeded.” She kisses Kara softly, tasting the tears in her lips. “You made mistakes, but you fixed them. You keep fixing them.”

Kara  smiles  wobbly . “I’m terrified they’ll take  her  away.”

“They won’t. And if they try, we’ll fight until we win.”

Kara sighs deeply, collapsing on Lena’s arms again. “You’re incredible. I love you.”

“ _ You _ are incredible. And it’d be pretty sad if you didn’t love me, because I love you with all my heart.”

Kara snorts a laugh. “You’re a dork!”

“Your dork.”

Kara kisses her then. “Marry me.”

Lena’s heart skips a beat, but, unlike last time, she doesn’t feel any panic or fear.

She just feels warm.

She smirks. “Ask properly and we’ll see.”

Kara’s eyes widen and a smile starts spreading on her face. “Done.”

Lena is about to make a comeback when Kara’s phone starts ringing from her back pocket. She frowns and, taking advantage that she’s hugging Kara, she takes the device from the pocket bringing it up to eye level. “ Nia ?”

Kara frowns back. She takes the phone, confused. “What does she want?” she asks to herself. She looks at Lena with a question in her eyes.

“Go. Answer her so we can go back to bed.”

Kara nods and hits the green button, walking into the living room as she speaks. “ Nia ? What’s wrong?”

Lena shakes her head, tuning out the conversation happening in the room over. She feels light and ready to collapse. She also feels happy and serene.

It was a long day, but she gets the feeling, no matter how rocky the start of this holiday was, it’ll be indeed a good holiday surrounded by love and warmth.

She’s about to head upstairs to cuddle Alex and wait for Kara when her own phone rings.

She quickly answers without bothering to check who it is. Given the hour it can be anyone from her mama to the bank. “Yes?”

A small sniff answers her. “ _ Miss L?” _

Lena’s  heart stops for the umpteenth time that  day. “Lucy?”

The girl whimpers.  _ “Can you pick me up?” _

Without a second thought, she’s heading to the door, a baffled Kara looking her go. “Where are you?” Lucy hesitates and Lena can hear a honk in the distance. “Lucy Lane, where are you?” she repeats, as stern as she dares  to make the kid answer.

“ _ … Anaheim.” _

Lena inhales sharply. What is Lucy doing almost two hours away? “Send me your location. I’m on my way.”

Lucy’s shaken whimper breaks her heart. “ _ Thank you,” _ she whispers, before hanging up. A ding alerts Lena that the kid sent her location alright.

“Babe?” Lena turns to see a concerned Kara, phone held to the side.

“Lucy called. She needs a ride,” she explains. “We’ll be back late.”

Kara frowns. “Is she okay?”

Lena shakes her head. “I don’t think so.” 

And with that, she opens the door to go fetch the other kid that stole her heart.

She just prays Lucy is safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...
> 
> Should I be mean and demand a fixed number of comments to release the next chapter?
> 
> Should I be meaner and tell you guys "see ya until mid-August"?
> 
> I have so many things I could demand for, uh?
> 
> But no, the beta said I shouldn't be mean to you guys, and that he being a reader would love to read the next part right away. 
> 
> So, see you tomorrow.
> 
> Oh. And commenter 727 never claimed their prize, so, dudes, dudettes, non-binary folk, aliens and others who are reading this: Place your bets. To the one that gets the closest to what happened to Lucy, I will write a one-shot of whatever you'd like :)


	54. Chapter 54

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all go say thanks to awesomesauce2366, cuz he was the reason I'm posting this quickly. He was the one insisting y'all deserve the quick update.

Traffic is gentle with her and she arrives at the destination she was sent in just over an hour. 

It feels like she’s been driving like crazy a lot today. 

But the kids needed her, so if she gets a couple of tickets in her mail later, she’ll willingly pay them. 

She just needed to get to them as soon as possible. 

Even if she has so many questions and she’s starting to be filled with dread. 

The location Lucy sent her… 

She parks her car as close to the building and brings out her phone. She dials Lucy’s number. 

“ _Miss L?”_ Lucy sounds tired and drained. It’s relatively early, but she wishes she’d be asleep already and Lucy sounds like she’s having those same thoughts. 

“Luce,” she says softly. “I’m in the parking lot. Where are you?” 

There’s some rustling and Lena winces. That sounded too much like bedsheets for her comfort. “ _Room 23. Second floor.”_

Lena nods to herself, walking to the visible outer stairs. “I’m on my way.” 

“ _I…”_

“Lucy?” 

“ _… nothing. Thank you, Miss L.”_

The kid disconnects the call and Lena takes a deep breath before taking the stairs two at a time. 

She can feel goosebumps rising on her arms. 

She’s only been to a motel once, but the feeling of unease she felt that one time remains. It’s like there’s the chance anyone can come out from any of the doors that face outside. Like, at any given moment, she could be surprised by someone banging on one of the windows. 

Lena loves terror movies, and motels feel like the best setting for one, so, yes, she doesn’t like them. 

Thankfully, she gets to the proper door almost right away. 

She knocks on the door. “Lucy!” she calls. 

There’s a little thud and then some movement before the door opens an inch. 

The sight that greets her breaks Lena’s heart. 

Lucy is there, yes, but that’s not the Lucy that left their home over three hours ago. 

That Lucy was wearing a smirk and was surrounded by a coat of confidence and mischief. That Lucy had bright eyes and a little spring to her step. That Lucy teased Alex not to try jumping without harnesses again and said her goodbyes to Kara and Lena with a hug. 

That Lucy is not the Lucy she’s seeing. 

The Lucy that greets her is small. Granted the kid is almost as tiny as Alex, but Lucy is _small_. She’s curled up in on herself and her face is downcast. Her dull eyes peek out at her, looking around almost as if waiting for someone else to show up. Her shoulders are down, and Lena can see a tiny tremor in them. 

She’s also wearing a sheet as a makeshift toga and Lena can take an educated guess that she is naked beneath it. 

But what’s most concerning is not that Lucy is naked inside a motel room. 

No. 

What’s most concerning is the bruise Lena can see starting to form on her cheek and around her eye. 

“Lucy?” Lena calls tentatively. 

The girl surprises her by flinging the door open and launching to her arms. “You came,” she says muffled against Lena’s chest. 

Lena’s shoulders relax at feeling the girl’s solid form in her arms. She hugs her tenderly. “Of course, I came, sweetheart. You called.” 

Lucy sniffs on her blouse. “I didn’t think you’d come,” she confesses in a whisper. 

“Oh, love.” Lena hugs her tighter, prompting a hiss from the girl. “Lucy?” 

The kid takes a step back and gives a pained smile. “S’nothing.” 

Lena shakes her head. “It is something. Come on. Inside.” 

Lucy lets herself be guided into the room and Lena takes a seat in the bed, patting the spot next to her. 

“Come here,” she orders gently, “and tell me what happened.” 

Lucy shuffles on her feet for a couple of seconds before doing as prompted. “Nothing happened,” she mumbles. 

Lena sighs. “I can see you are naked under that sheet, kiddo.” She looks deep into Lucy’s eyes. “What happened?” 

Lucy wiggles a little. 

“Lucy,” Lena calls, her voice just a tad stern. 

The girl frowns. “It’s kinda weird talking to you naked,” she mutters. 

Lena nods. “I bet. Where are your clothes?” 

Lucy looks away, keeping silent. 

“Lucy.” 

The kid deflates. “He took them.” 

“He?” 

Lucy nods. “Yeah,” she mumbles. “He was mad and took my money and clothes.” 

Lena bites her lower lip. 

She won’t draw any conclusions. 

Lena slides closer to the kid, putting an arm around her shoulders. “Talk to me, Lucy,” she pleads in a whisper. 

Lucy curls on herself, trembling. “Can we not?” 

Lucy’s voice is so little Lena can barely hear her. She smiles sadly. “I know I must be your last resort, love, but I do need to know what happened. I need to know you are not hurt other than your bruising.” 

Lucy burrows deeper into the sheet, still silent. 

Lena sighs. “Okay. I’m gonna get the duffle from the car… you okay with borrowing Alex’s clothes?” 

Lucy nods. 

Lena nods back. She squeezes the kid gently against her side. She presses a kiss to her temple. “I love you, Lucy,” she murmurs. “You are a great kid and you’ve proven me time and time again how amazing you are. No matter what happened here, we’ll fix it, okay?” 

Lena stands up and goes to the door, ready to go fetch the duffle she started carrying in her trunk ever since Alex’s accident at her apartment. She’s starting to carry it out of the trunk too if she goes anywhere with Alex on her own, and the duffle has proven to be really useful. 

That small duffle has helped them out of a couple of incidents already… and not all limited to Alex wetting her pants, reason why, she also keeps a change for Kara and her in there. 

Better to be prepared than to panic. 

She’s about to leave when Lucy says softly, “… you aren’t.” 

Lena turns around to stare at Lucy, confused. “Luce?” 

The kid manages a small smile. “My last resort,” she says. “You aren’t my last resort… you were the first person I thought of calling.” 

Lena smiles back. “I’m honored, sweetheart. I’ll be back, then you’ll change and then we’ll talk.” 

XxXxX 

Lucy shifts in place, trying to get used to the clothes she’s wearing. Alex’s duffle contains little more than soft pants and a couple of t-shirts, the perfect clothes not to draw attention and also be comfortable. Alex never got into the habit of wearing bras so there are none in the duffle and well, Alex has also gotten out of the habit of wearing panties, so there are none in there either. 

Lucy had the choice to either go commando or of wearing a pair of pull-ups. 

Shockingly to Lena, Lucy decided for the latter. 

And now they find themselves in a Denny’s not too far from the motel, eating pie and having strong coffee. 

“So…” Lena says, sipping her coffee. She doesn’t think she’ll sleep tonight, so she better keep alert and focused. “Where do you want to start?” 

Lucy stops playing with her cherry pie and looks at Lena puzzled. “Start?” 

“Telling me what happened.” 

Lucy sighs, shuffling again. “Can we just talk about why you have a diaper bag in your trunk?” 

Lena’s eyebrow rises. Lucy doesn’t seem opposed to sharing, but she can understand how hard it must be for her. Whatever happened was traumatic and the last thing she needs is for Lena to push her. “Sure we can. As long as you tell me what happened too. So, a question for a question?” 

Lucy grimaces but nods. 

“Then, you first.” 

Lucy looks up at her and she stares into her eyes. There’s a somberness in her kid that just feels wrong. “Is it sexual?” she asks bluntly. 

Lena was not prepared to hear that question. She blinks slowly. “What?” 

“Is this a sexual thing?” she asks, just as somberly. “What you do with Alex. The diapers, the pacifiers, the way she acts… is it sexual for you?” 

Lena shakes her head, confused. “No,” she says. “No. Why would you think that?” 

Lucy shrugs. “It’s usually a sex thing, no? Having someone dressing as a baby.” 

Oh. 

_Oh._

She folds her arms on the table. “No, Lucy,” she says gently. “I won’t lie. Sometimes people do it for the sexual thrill, but that’s not our case. Now, what were you doing in that motel?” 

Lucy scrunches up her nose and the likeness with Alex is too much to handle, yet, Lena succeeds and doesn’t go round the booth to squeeze the stuffing out of Lucy. “You didn’t answer my question!” she protests. 

Lena quirks an eyebrow. “I did. I answered it was not sexual.” 

Lucy crosses her arms. “You don’t play fair.” 

Lena smiles tenderly, putting her hand on the table and offering it to the kid. 

Lucy eyes it and places her hand in Lena’s bigger one, letting the adult squeeze it gently. 

“Love,” Lena says softly. “We agreed to a question for a question, and I have plenty. So, I need to administer mine as best as I can.” 

Lucy snorts sadly at that. “Fair enough.” 

“So, what were you doing in that motel?” 

Lucy sighs and tries to take her hand back, only for Lena to stop her. She still looks away. “A business transaction,” she mumbles. 

Lena closes her eyes for a second, composing herself after that declaration. She didn’t want to assume, and she will not assume anything until Lucy says it all. “Okay,” she says, opening her eyes and keeping her calm. “Your turn.” 

Lucy bites her lip and there are tears in her eyes. She nods, sniffing softly. “If it’s not sexual… what it is?” she asks in a whisper, still looking away. 

Lena squeezes her hand again. “Some people do this thing called regression. The reasons behind it are several and vary from person to person. The regression is not sexual. Now, what kind of business transaction?” 

Lucy snorts wetly. “You are not going to make this easy for me, uh?” 

“It’s my time to ask a question, Luce.” 

Lucy stares at their joined hands and a lone tear runs down her cheek. “… the sexual kind,” she whispers brokenly. 

Lena exhales sharply. She didn’t want to assume, but apparently it was all for naught. She interlaces her fingers with Lucy’s for a second before pulling her hand away. 

Lucy looks completely crestfallen at that move. 

But Lena only rises and rounds the booth to sit next to Lucy. Without saying anything, she hugs the girl to her chest and cradles her head to her shoulder, trying to convey how she’s not angry or upset. Maybe a little disappointed, but the feelings that overrule all are sadness and concern. 

Why did Lucy do it? 

That’s something that she can ask later. 

Right now she needs to make sure Lucy knows she’s safe and cared for. 

“Thank you,” she whispers in the kid’s hair, planting a kiss there. “Thank you for being honest. I’m proud of you.” 

Lucy’s arms sneak around her middle, hugging her with force and she starts crying freely. 

“Shhh, love,” Lena cuddles her close. “Shhh, let it out, baby, just let it out.” 

And Lucy does. 

XxXxX 

“My mom died when I was thirteen,” Lucy says quietly. She was shifted to sit on Lena’s lap during her crying spell, so she doesn’t need to talk louder than a whisper. 

Lena knows they are getting weird looks, but she doesn’t care. 

Lucy’s comfort is her priority. 

Lena tucks her closer as she keeps speaking. 

“Dad started leaving more and more often, for longer periods of time. Lois was away in Metropolis. She studied and met her husband there, so she was not around either… A teacher at school recommended me to attend a grief management group because she said I was not dealing with mom’s passing well. I tried, but the group was mostly old people and widows cry like there’s no tomorrow… so I turned to the internet and stumbled across this one forum that just made sense.” 

Lena presses a kiss to the girl’s temple, letting her know she’s listening to it all. 

“And before I knew it, I was speaking with this mod. She was funny and got me, you know? She lost her mom just like I did mine… hers died of pancreatic cancer and mine of lung cancer, so she knew what it’s like to take care of a dying parent… she got me. The more we talked, the more we started drifting away from grief and death, and soon enough she told me… ‘kid, want some easy money?’. And I said yes because dad was not around, but when he was, he kept telling me he was making plans so I could join military academy as soon as possible.” Lucy snorts wetly. “Mom’s last wish was for me to attend DEO high, you know? She attended there and she didn’t want me away in Florida where dad studied… he accepted not to send me there so long as I joined JROTC.” 

Lena frowns. “But you didn’t join, did you?” 

Lucy shakes her head. “No. He doesn’t care enough to make sure I did, though. He thinks I spend all my time training.” 

Lena just hugs her tighter. “Why did you need the money, sweetie?” 

Lucy sighs. “I don’t want to join the army. But I also knew I had no choice if I was living with dad… so I thought, I’ll save money and I’ll move out before I can be forced to join. Before mom died I knew I couldn’t not join the army, so I always thought I would run away… but then Roxane offered me a job and, it was indeed easy money.” 

Lena’s heart aches. She doesn’t want to ask, but she has to. “And what job was it?” 

Lucy blushes and looks down. “Take pictures and sell them,” she mumbles. 

Lena blinks. “Pictures?” 

“Yeah. Like, pictures of me. Naked. Doing stuff.” 

Lena hides her nose in Lucy’s hair. Damnit. She was barely fourteen years old! “And you sold them?” 

Lucy nods. Her voice grows distant. “Just for a little while… but then, she told me she had someone interested in me. I panicked a little, but she told me it was the same job. Pictures, the odd video, and then this guy would pay for my stuff. Like, not only pay for the photos but actually send me a monthly allowance.” She looks up, catching Lena’s eye. “I knew it wasn’t right, but it was harmless enough. I never showed my face and what he liked was tame… he liked me to dress up in frills and pose and act like a baby…” she looks away again. “That’s why…” 

Lena runs her hand up and down her back. “That’s why you thought we were being sexual with Alex.” It's not a question, but a statement. 

Lucy nods. “Sorry bout that.” 

Lena kisses her temple. “I understand, love. Please keep going.” 

Lucy inhales deeply. “Long story short, I kept that contract for about a year… then I grew too old for his tastes. I saved every dollar he sent me, but it was not enough if I was to leave the house, so I started looking for something to do. That’s when I stumbled into underground fighting. That’s also where I met Alex.” 

“You two fought each other?” 

Lucy hums, a small smile in her face. “We did, several times. I always beat her. It was after six months she finally got the best of me… but I let her win. Don’t tell her that, though. She beat everyone but me, and I was trying to make nice to her by then.” 

Lena frowns. “I thought Alex fought just for a little while?” 

Lucy shakes her head. “I fought over a year, she did almost eight months.” 

Lena’s frown deepens. “But Kara…” 

“That thing when they say they don’t keep secrets from each other?” Lucy says quietly. “That’s a lie. Alex has kept a lot from Kara. She tells her plenty, I’m sure, but she still has secrets.” 

Lena’s face falls. She can understand what Lucy’s saying, but she honestly didn’t think Alex would keep something from Kara. 

It just feels _wrong_. 

“After a while, it got hard to hide the bruises, especially when Alex got good at it, so I quit and took an offer made by one of the regulars,” Lucy continues gently, not letting Lena delve much into the depths of Alex and Kara. “It was the same as my first job, but with a little more… face to face work. He paid better and he was less wild, so I was all in… I was with him until tonight.” 

Lena kisses her forehead once she’s sure the kid has finished speaking. “Thank you, Lucy. I’m glad you told me all this. I’m so proud of you. You were really brave.” 

The girl’s shoulders tense at the words. “You’re not mad?” 

“Yes, I am,” Lena says honestly, making Lucy choke back a whimper. “But I’m not mad at _you_. I’m mad there are people out there taking advantage of hurting girls, and I’m mad at Colonel Lane. He’s your dad, I know, but he is an ass. He shouldn’t have forced your hand like this.” 

Lucy snorts at the description. “Yeah, he’s the worse.” 

Lena combs some of Lucy’s matted hair out of the way to see her more properly. “He kept calling you at the hospital?” 

Lucy blushes. “That was not _dad_.” 

Lena’s eyebrows rise. Oh. 

“He was mad I didn’t answer him right away. We had a date and I always pick up the phone for him… but lately…” Lucy sighs. “Lately I haven’t felt comfortable around him, but he pays me well… I almost have enough to live comfortably for eight months out of the house while I find a job to help support me… but well, he got angry today and left with the little money I carry around and my clothes. He said he paid for them so he could take them.” 

Lena kisses between Lucy’s eyes. “He beat you.” 

Lucy nods. “Only a couple of hits, really. He threw me to the floor but he forgot where he met me. I gave as good as I got, promise.” 

Lena kisses her again. “My little hellraiser,” she murmurs against her skin. “I’m glad you defended yourself. Good girl.” 

Lucy blushes under the compliment. “’M not good.” 

Lena stares into Lucy’s eyes and the kid can feel how her soul is being judged. “You _are_ a good girl, Lucy. Life forced you to make questionable choices, but you are _good_. I get it if you don’t believe it, but you are.” 

Lucy inhales shakily and nods timidly. 

“I’m assuming you broke your contract with him?” 

Lucy nods again, this time firmer. “Yes. He’s fed up with me.” She sighs then. “I need to get a job now.” 

Lena hugs her tight. “Not really.” 

Lucy wiggles just a bit, wincing. “I do if I want to leave his house after I finish high school… Damn, he’s gonna be so mad when he realized I didn’t enroll…” 

Lena frowns. “What hurts?” she asks gently, releasing some of the pressure from her hug. 

Lucy places a hand to her side. “He got one good kick,” she mumbles. 

“Anything else?” Lena rests her hand over Lucy’s, interlacing their fingers. 

“I scrapped my knees… but that’s it.” 

Lena nods. “Are we pressing charges?” 

“No.” Lucy’s answer comes quickly and swiftly. “No. I don’t know his name and he doesn’t know mine. I know nothing of him, just that he’s married and works in construction.” 

“Okay.” Lena is not happy with it, but she can see that in this case looking for justice would make things worse for Lucy. “Just… did he ever forced you to do anything you didn’t want?” 

Lucy shakes her head and looks up to Lena. “No. Everything was consensual. Actually, he was really sweet in the beginning. I think he’s divorcing, and he’s angry all the time…” Lucy sighs. “I don’t know.” 

Lena hums. “Did you love him?” Lucy’s scrunched up nose prompts a giggle from Lena and it’s answer enough. “Okay then.” 

The lapse into a moment of silence, both simply enjoying the closeness. 

“About Alex…” Lucy begins in a whisper. “What’s her deal?” 

Lena sighs and unconsciously starts swaying them in place. “I’m not her therapist, but I believe regressing is how she deals with her stress and trauma. She does it unconsciously and it’s rare that she’s her actual age. You’ve seen it. She’s mellower and softer, also more willing to obey… and that’s because she’s a little girl most of the time nowadays.” 

Lucy bites her lower lip. “She fell cuz she was regressed?” 

Lena nods. “Yeah. She tripped on her shoelace.” 

Lucy facepalms, wincing when she hits her bruise. 

Lena chuckles at the absurdity of it all. She never imagined she’d be in a Denny’s close to midnight with Lucy sitting on her lap after fetching the girl from the motel her sugar daddy left her stranded in, discussing Alex’s regression as if that was a common topic to talk about. 

Life is weird that way. 

She’s just glad she got Lucy to open up. Knowing what’s going on will help her help the kid the best she can. 

She needs to talk to Kara as soon as they get back home, but she’s sure Kara will be with her one hundred percent. 

Lucy deserves better and Kara and Lena will make sure she gets her due. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, regarding the bet, _Badwolff88_ is the one that got it closest, with the sugar daddy comment and the left on the side of the road (which was going to be the place she was stranded at until the motel idea came around), and on the first comment overall too! 
> 
> _Georgie1997_ and _issa_asdf_ got it right too, with the meeting people on the internet and trading of sexual favors, but I'm sorry my friends, _Badwolff88_ hit the closest to what actually happened to Lucy. I wonder if they are FBI?
> 
> Either way. Thoughts? I expect your comments!!!


	55. Chapter 55

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The author is slightly drunk.
> 
> The author has regrets.
> 
> The author wants to sleep.
> 
> Help.

“You know… when I was a kid, I never thought I’d be turning twenty-four being responsible for two kids already. Sure, I always wanted to be a mother, but I thought kids would come _a_ _fter_ marriage.” 

Lena snorts gently, mindful of the knocked out kids between them. 

Lena and Lucy got home around one in the morning and it took almost no prompting for Lucy to climb into bed with them. Alex has thankfully slept through the night, both adults blaming the pain killers she’s in, so it was not hard to have Lucy slide beside her and fall asleep almost instantly. 

That was an hour ago and Lena took that time to fill Kara in on everything that happened with the tiny brunette. 

“Yeah, life is strange sometimes.” 

Kara sighs. “I wish she’d press charges. Please tell me you don’t believe she doesn’t know his name.” 

Lena sighs back. “She does. And I’m half obligated to report this, I’m her principal after all.” 

“I’m sensing a but in there.” 

“But I kinda promised her we wouldn’t press charges, so I need to keep my word. The last thing I want is for her to stop trusting us.” 

Kara nods. “I get it. I’m not happy with it, but I get it.” 

“We are taking her in, right?” Lena asks just to be sure. She knows Kara thinks like she and she also knows Kara has a soft spot for the little firecracker, so it’s a no brainer that they are going to start looking out for her, taking care of her. 

“Of course we are,” Kara murmurs a little too loudly, making Alex wiggle in her arms at the disruption. 

Lena smiles, tucking Lucy closer to her own body. “We need to get a bigger bed,” she comments softly. 

Kara nods. “Yeah, a queen won’t cut it anymore.” She cradles Alex closer to her, feeling her pacifier dig slightly on her breast. “She needs her own space too.” 

Lena nods. “Yeah. I don’t think they’d like sharing.” 

“… the attic is pretty much bare. I have some costumes I no longer use in there, but those we can donate easily.” 

Lena hums. “We need to go shopping … furniture needs to be the first thing we get.” 

Kara nods. “Yeah.” There’s a small pause. “Can we make her move in before she turns eighteen?” 

“Not officially. But she can have all her stuff in here as soon as possible if she wants.” 

“… and if she doesn’t? You said she was pretty adamant about leaving as soon as high school ended.” 

“Then we’ll just make sure she understands there’s a place for her if she ever needs it.” 

“I love you, Lena. I was serious. Marry me.” 

Lena smiles wide. “And I was serious too. Ask me properly and we’ll see.” 

Kara snorts softly at that. “Fine. Be that way.” She yawns. “Sleep now.” 

“Sleep now… tomorrow will be hard too.” 

“Yeah. Alex won’t be happy you told Lucy.” 

“And I doubt Lucy will be happy with Alex knowing her secrets either.” 

Kara closes her eyes and curls around Alex, Lena mimicking her with Lucy. “Nigh, _şekerim_.” 

“Sweet dreams, love.” 

Once their breathing even out and the room has grown quiet for a long while, Lucy opens her eyes. She blinks heavily in the dark, a single tear rolling down her cheek. 

She burrows closer to Miss L and sighs heavily. 

They are taking her in. Even after all she’s done, after what she’s made happen, they want to take her in. 

Lena is right, she knows his name and address, but she won’t go and press any charges. This is her doing and she’s known that since the beginning. She won’t make things messier... 

They want her to stay… 

… she’s not sure she’s earned it. 

XxXxX 

Alex pouts heavily and crosses her arms as best as she can. “No!” she yells. 

Kara sighs and shakes her head. “You can yell all you want, Lexie, but the fact remains. Lucy knows and she’s okay with it.” 

Alex glares at Lena and sticks her tongue out to her. 

That earns her a slap to the side of her butt for her troubles. 

“ _Anne!”_

“Do not be rude.” 

Alex glares at both her adults and she stands from her chair and leaves them in the kitchen. They hear the stomping up the stairs and the slam of her door. 

Lena winces and Kara shakes her head disappointed. 

That surely woke up Lucy. 

“She’s grounded,” Kara deadpans. 

Lena narrows her eyes. “She’s upset Kara. You can’t ground her for that.” 

Kara deflates. “I know. I still wish she wouldn’t be rude, though.” 

Lena rubs her face. They were woken up early to a panicky Alex. Having slept through the night and having gone to bed early, it was no surprise that Alex couldn’t keep sleeping for long. 

Luckily, Alex had the sense not to wake Lucy too when she woke up to find the older teen in their bed. 

So, they moved to the kitchen and they told Alex what happened the night before… without telling her the exact reason Lucy called Lena in the first place. 

Just like Lucy doesn’t know the extent of Alex’s regression, Lena didn’t feel comfortable revealing Lucy’s secrets. 

Them not telling Alex the whole story, added to the fact that Lucy now knows about Alex’s regression, angered the redheaded and made her lash out slightly. 

They just hope Alex’s bad mood clears in time to see that Lucy is, indeed, not grossed out by Alex’s behavior and she does something to hurt their relationship. 

XxXxX 

“Hey.” 

Alex peeks up from the book she’s aggressively coloring just to see Lucy looking at her with a small smile. “Hey,” she mumbles, turning back to her picture. 

“Can we talk?” she asks. 

Alex just shrugs. “I guess.” 

“Did your mama tell you she picked me up last night?” 

Alex nods. 

“Did she tell you why she did it?” 

Alex shakes her head. “She said you needed help,” she mutters. 

“That’s right.” Lucy smiles gently, coming to sit next to her friend. “She went to save me.” 

That gets Alex’s attention. She leaves her colors to finally look up at Lucy fully, noticing for the first time her bruised eye. 

Alex gasps. “What happened?” she asks, kneeling up to touch her friend’s cheek. 

Lucy smiles sadly. “I think we’ve kept too many secrets from one another, uh?” she asks back. 

Alex scrunches up her nose. “I guess.” 

“So…” Lucy holds her hand up to Alex. “No more secrets, Ally.” 

Alex looks at her hand with a small frown. “You’re not repulsed?” she asks in a tiny voice. 

Lucy’s head tilts to the side. “Over what?” 

“Me.” 

Lucy rolls her eyes. “Stupid Ally,” she says without heat. “I love you. This doesn’t change that.” 

Alex stares at her for a long minute. “I’m not stupid, Cee,” she mumbles, launching herself at the older teen’s arms. 

Lucy hugs her tight. “You kinda are.” 

Alex grunts unamused. “What happened to you?” 

Lucy eyes her with caution. “We’ll stop having secrets from now on? Share everything? Past, present and future?” 

Alex frowns. “No.” 

Lucy rolls her eyes. “... Alex…” 

“No.” 

“But-” 

“No.” 

“Alex-” 

“No, Lucy. I’ll share plenty but not that.” 

Lucy looks deeply into Alex’s eyes. “I won’t say,” she promises gently. 

“And neither will I.” Alex shakes her head. 

Lucy’s shoulders slump. “But you told me some already.” 

Alex slump against her. “I was too high and too drunk. Please. You know more than anyone else. Please. Don’t push. Don’t make me remember.” 

“I just want to help.” 

Alex hugs her tight. “You help plenty already. Please.” 

Lucy hums sadly. “Fine.” 

“So. What happened to you?” 

“Oh. My sugar daddy robbed me blind and left me stranded.” 

“WHAT?!” 

XxXxX 

Lena’s eyes open when the mattress dips slightly. “How are they?” 

They gave Alex half an hour to cool down and when Kara went to check on her, they discovered Lucy and Alex deep in conversation, so they left their kids alone to figure out things on their own. 

That was about an hour ago and lunch is approaching so Kara went to check on them again. 

“They are fast asleep on the floor,” Kara announces with a roll of her eyes. 

Lena hums. “They didn’t have breakfast,” she comments in a whisper. She has a killer headache and if the kids behave she’ll be so happy. But she also worries and it’s late for the girls to still have an empty belly. 

“I’ll order some food soon, don’t worry.” Kara kisses her temple. “Try to sleep.” 

Lena grunts. “Okay. Wake me when food is here.” 

“Yes, _şekerim_.” 

Kara stays near until she’s sure Lena is asleep, before getting up gingerly to go see what they are having for breakfast/lunch today. 

The last couple of days have been a whirlwind. 

Her birthday is coming up and she’s just turning twenty-four. 

She really never believed her life would turn up like this. 

Oh, she’s happy, there’s no doubt about it, she is. This is the happiest she’s ever been. After her parents died she honestly thought she would never be happy again. She thought her world had ended when they died and that nothing would ever put a smile on her face ever again. 

She moves to the kitchen as silently as she can, to avoid waking up anyone in the house. 

She really thought she wouldn’t be happy again. 

But then she met Alex. 

She can remember the first time she saw her. She was a tiny thing, just like she is still a tiny thing, but then, she was really, really tiny. She was wearing hospital clothes and her big eyes were open and taking everything in. She wouldn’t’ speak, Kara learned later in life that the kid had little interaction with people so her speech didn’t develop the right way, she also wouldn’t walk that much, mainly for the same reason that she had to live in a hospital for over a year. 

She was ten when she first met her and, looking back, she can honestly say that she’d considered Alex hers since the very beginning. Alex was a shy baby but the moment Kara showed some interest, she took hold and never let go. 

She’s so grateful the girl decided to make Kara her person. 

She grabs Lena’s take-out menus and starts browsing, trying to figure out something everybody will like in equal measures. 

She’s known since the very beginning that Alex was a given in her life. 

Meeting Lena, though, was a dream come true. 

Lena is the type of person you come across once in your life. Her heart is bigger than life and she’s so understanding it almost borders on disbelief. She’s known the older woman for less than six months, yet what she told her is real. She wants to marry her. She wants to be Ms. Luthor… or have Lena be Ms. Zorel. Whichever is fine. 

As long as she gets to spend the rest of her life next to her, she doesn’t care about names and status. 

In fact, she would be happy never to marry her. It’s just one of her dreams to be married to an amazing person and there’s no one in the entire multi-verse better than Lena. 

She sometimes feels like she’s not worthy of her. Who is she kidding, she knows she’s not good enough for her, but she also knows that for whatever reason Lena loves her back and she doesn’t doubt that love one bit. She knows she won’t understand the reasoning behind Lena loving her, but she’s honored to have her love and she’ll spend all her life trying to be worthy of it. 

It looks like Chinese is the safer option. Alex enjoys anything pasta, Lena loves anything chicken and Lucy will eat anything put before her… the spicier the better. 

And Kara is kinda in the mood for some greasy pork only Chinese food can provide for. 

Who was a real surprise in her life is Lucy. 

Just like she remembers meeting Alex, she remembers meeting Lucy. 

Alex was about fourteen and Kara went to pick her up at the Henshaw’s to spend the evening together. That was the first time Alex told her to go home without giving it much thought. Alex had plans for the day and they didn’t involve Kara for once. She accompanied Alex to the place she was meeting her friends and discovered two things. 

One, she was drinking and partying now. 

And two, she made friends with that one girl Alex was always complaining about during the nights she went underground fighting. 

At first, she didn’t think much of Lucy, but with time she came to know her as one of Alex’s constant companions. She wasn’t as wild as Siobhan nor as entitled as Max, but she fit in right away with the group and the amount of trouble Alex got into doubled almost instantly. Kara knows that Alex started trying drugs due to a combination of Max and Lucy… but amazingly enough, Kara never thought of Lucy as a bad influence. If anything, she’s sure it was mostly Max the one corrupting both Lucy and Alex. 

With time, Kara also understood that Lucy was just hanging around for the trouble Max and Alex used to create when they were bored. Lucy’s arrival into their group was just good timing on the brunette’s part. 

Over the years Kara also got to see that Lucy is a fierce and loyal friend, and someone she approves to be Alex’s best friend. 

So, Lucy was unexpected, but she’s certainly not unwanted. 

Lucy will be around from now on. Lena and Kara plan on asking the teen to move in with them – at least unofficially until she turns eighteen – tonight. The timing will give them all the time needed to prepare the attic for Lucy and get all her stuff from the house across the street. Lucy told Lena that Colonel Lane is gone to DC again and Lois will be spending the holidays in Kansas with her husband’s family, so it’ll be no problem. 

Honestly, how is that family even worthy of Lucy? 

Lucy is a sweet kid, as mischievous as Alex and with a mean streak she’s seen come out more than once, but a great kid nonetheless. 

She just needs some love and care and Kara is certain Lena and she can provide for her. 

“Hey, Miss Z.” 

Speaking of the devil. “Good morning, sleepyhead.” 

Lucy comes into the kitchen, rubbing her eye. “Mornin’. Alex leaked,” she announces around a yawn. 

The ease and comfort in which Lucy says those two words make Kara’s heart burst. “I’ll see to that,” she says easily. She stands and ruffles on Lucy’s already messy hair. “You’re a good big sister. Be a darling and see what you want for lunch?” she asks, handing out the Chinese menu. 

Kara leaves the kitchen then, not noticing how Lucy is now blushing. 

“Yes, Miss Z.” She hears the mumble, and she smiles. 

Her life is unexpected, yes, but also so, so, so good right now. 

She loves her girlfriend – possibly future wife – and she loves their kids. 

As messed up and troublesome as her life once was, she’s happy now. So happy now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna go ahead and say I'm mad at @awesomesauce2366. He keeps filling my mind with so many ideas and I want to write to them all and there's not enough time in the day and so I'm mad.
> 
> Guys, guys, guys...
> 
> ... I hate adulting.


	56. Chapter 56

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I repeat I'm sorry for the wait...?
> 
> In my defense, you guys gonna love this.

“Are you sure you’re up to this?”

Lucy just barely refrains from rolling her eyes.

Honestly, she’s been living with them for over a week, and in that week she’s come to realize what her limits are regarding Lexie.

Taking the mantle of older sister is easy.  She noticed right away that she’s been doing exactly that for some months now without realizing it. Now that she knows what she’s looking at, she can definitely see the clues on who is Lexie and who is Alex – not her Alex, though : s he’s also got to know that sixteen years old Alex is rarely – if ever, around.

Some clues are subtle, like the way Alex would start tracing her lips with her thumb or nibbling on her finger. That’s the moment either of her moms would pop a pacifier in her mouth. Or like the way Alex makes a little dance when she hears water running and when it’s been too long since her moms reminded her to go  to the bathroom.

Others, others are  glaring ly obvious.

Like how Alex would simply announce she’s wet. Or how she’d ditch her pants and stay in her pull-ups if she keeps put for too long in one spot. Or the way in which she’d bring a bottle with her around all the time and she’d suck into it like a baby bottle.

She’s seen her nurse once. That was pretty obvious too, but she felt like she was intruding too much, so she and Miss  Luthor spent the time Alex was nursing watching a horror movie and having popcorn.

Who would’ve thought the scary principal was into scary movies?

She’s gotten to know what makes Alex tick and how she behaves depending on her age. Just like she’s gotten to know just what Lucy can do around her.

When Alex is a toddler – which apparently is most of the time – she’s easy to entertain with colors and painting. She’s come to like kicking a ball in the yard too, so when Alex gets too angsty due  t o her lack of one functioning hand, she takes Alex out and they play around for a while.

Neither Alex  n or Lucy have gone out much, the one exception was when Alex’s moms took them to Ikea to get some furniture for Lucy’s room.

A room that Lucy can attest is better than the one she has at her dad’s.

Alex is prohibited from going into her room most of the time, which Lucy thinks is the only issue they have between them. It’s not that Lucy doesn’t want Alex in her space, but more like Alex’s moms don’t want Lexie climbing that ladder. With a hand in a cast and Lexie’s tendency to stop paying attention mid tasks, Lucy can understand that.

Another thing that’s a slight issue between them is how Alex would, every single time, want to eat whatever is in Lucy’s plate. Lucy, to be the little shit she is and to test how far Alex would go, made sure to pack her plate with vegetables and nothing  else last night.

Alex ate them all after whining over wanting Lucy’s plate.

Miss L thought it was a brilliant idea, so now one of Lucy’s chores is to load her plate with the food that Alex needs to eat. She’ll put up a halfhearted fight over giving up her food and then she’ll exchange it with Alex’s… which most of the time is the exact same food she just gave up.

Alex’s toddler persona is funny to mess with.

Which is the reason Lucy learned what she cannot deal with when it comes to Alex.

Like, diaper changes are fun in theory – they are not – but she’s not comfortable  seeing Alex that vulnerable. She’s also not  sold on the idea of Alex throwing tantrums  almost daily .

Miss Z says it’s  due to Alex being in pain and not able to use her right hand, but there’s something simply wrong with seeing Alex become so inconsolable. It’s not the fact that Alex is throwing the tantrums, no, that’s Alex’s way of dealing, but more like, Lucy’s heart always aches more and more with each sob and wail and she’d love to do nothing more than  to hug the shit out of Alex and make her happy.

It’s hard caring for Alex in those moments and she has trouble saying no to the kid when she’s crying just so.

“Don’t worry, Miss Z,” Lucy assures. “We’ll have a Disney marathon, right Lexie?”

Alex nods from her place on the couch. She’s already started watching  _ Zootopia _ _ ,  _ so she’s ignoring them both, happily sucking on her pacifier and giggling through it.

Miss Z sighs deeply. “Okay, okay.”

“Ready, love?” Miss L comes into the house again. She was already waiting at the car, but Miss Z is taking too long saying her goodbyes.

Miss Z bites her lower lip. “I don’t want to leave them alone,” she confesses.

Lucy can’t stop herself from rolling her eyes now. “Go, shoo.”

Miss Z narrows her eyes. “Don’t be rude,” she scolds mildly.

“Then don’t act dumb,” Lucy says frankly. “Ally and I will be fine. It’s not like you’re going to be gone for  _ days _ . Believe me, I can deal with no parents around for weeks.”

That deflates Miss Z and makes Miss L wince. 

Lucy, seeing her mistake, is quick to make it better. “But don’t be sad! That won’t happen ever again, right, guys?”

Miss Z comes forwards and hugs Lucy tight. The kid’s bruised side has healed already, so she’s not shy about squishing her as much as she wants. “No,  _ kedi _ . It’ll be a cold day in hell before that happens.” Miss Z leaves a kiss on her temple and lets her go. “We’ll be back late, so don’t wait up much, okay?”

Lucy blushes, still not used to the way both adults tend to freely give out affection. She loves it, bu t it is still hard.

She’s also not yet used to the pet names they tend to throw all around. She’s not sure yet how she feels to be called a cat in Turkish, nor how Miss L sometimes calls her sweetheart… it feels too familiar and  _ normal _ .

She hasn’t done normal in while, but she so wants to.

“I’ll make sure Alex goes to bed at a decent hour.”

Learning the real reason why Alex is sent to bed so early really put several things into perspective for Lucy… especially since Miss L and Miss Z made sure to tell her that she was moving in with them  _ and _ also was going to be following some of the same rules Alex does. Sure, her own bedtime is later than Alex’s but it’s been  _ years _ since she’s had a bedtime and she’s strangely comfortable with having a routine.

It makes her feel secure in a way she hasn’t since her mom died.

She’s yet to test their boundaries, and she doesn’t feel inclined to do so right away.

Her living situation still feels too good to be true and she doesn’t want to  butch er it up.

“Lexie!” Miss Z calls, making the kid look over. “We’re leaving now.”

Alex dutifully pauses her movie and comes into the foyer, hugging Miss L and Miss Z in turn. She waves to them, mouth too busy with her pacifier and goes back to the couch and her movie.

“Believe me,” Lucy says. “Alex is not going to notice you’re gone.”

Miss Z deflates further. “Fine, fine.” She takes a deep breath and grabs onto Miss L’s hand. “Have fun, kiddos.”

Lucy nods. “You too.” She smiles brightly. “And happy birthday, Miss Z!”

The adults leave on that note and Lucy locks up after them, just as she promised.

She turns to face Alex, only to find the younger girl staring at her intently and grinning from behind her pacifier. 

“ P’zza !” she chirps.

Lucy blinks. “ Oooookay , pizza it is.”

She kind of promised they were going to eat what was left from lunch, but pizza sounds ten times better.

XxXxX

“You need to relax.”

“We left them alone.”

Lena rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “Love, Alex is in good hands. I doubt Lucy will try to conquer the world while we are gone.”

Kara stares at her seriously. “She can totally do it.”

Lena snorts, the sound so out of place in the fancy restaurant they find themselves in.

When Lena told Kara she wanted to take her out for her birthday she didn’t hesitate in saying yes, even when, later on, she realized that meant leaving the kids behind. It’s nice going out, she’s not going to lie, but it’s also a little nerve-wracking .

She trusts the girls to behave, yes, but she’s gotten out of the habit of dating properly… as in fine dining and late nights and being picked up by her date and kissing by the door…

Okay, so maybe this is not proper dating, but Lena took her out to have diner without the kids and  it ’ s different enough that she feels nervous.

“Stop thinking, Kara,” Lena tells her with a smile. “They are not burning down the house.”

Kara smiles sadly at that. “I’m sorry. I’m not being a good date right now.”

Lena’s smile widens and she takes a small sip of her wine. “Love, you worrying over our kids is not being a bad date. You’re just being a good mom.”

Kara gives her a rueful smile. “Is it weird I really do consider them my kids?”

Lena shakes her head. “It’s not. I consider them mine too.”

“We are hopeless,” Kara chuckles. 

Lena laughs gently too.

Their waiter comes around, delivering their food and wishing them a lovely night.

“This year was a wild ride, but I’m so happy with it,” Kara comments after taking a bite of her salmon.

Lena hums around her pork. They don’t eat red meats at home often, and pork is practically banned from the house, so she’s enjoying  some now that they are eating out. “It’s been a weird year for me too. I mean, I never thought I’d get to meet this amazing woman that turned out to be the love of my life.”

Kara blushes prettily at that and looks away. As much as she is an affectionate person and as much as she’s a sweet talker, she’s  not used to be given compliments often. Alex might’ve given her plenty growing up, but that was definitely different.

She’s had her share of partners, but they  weren’t all as liberal with compliments as Lena is.  Nia was the one lover she had that was the most affectionate with her, but even  Nia leans more toward t ough love than  sweet words .

Kara is sure that, were Lena able to turn a stove without burning the house down, she’d be treated to breakfast in bed on the daily with how attentive Lena is. It’s true that Kara bears the brunt of the housework, but Lena always, always, makes sure to help as much as she can, which is not  something she  think s would’ve had happened with any of her previous partners.

She lived with James for o ver two years and when he moved out, she got to live with  Nia for almost six months and neither were considerate housemates.

Not like Lena is.

“What is going on in that pretty head of yours?” Lena asks her after a minute of Kara simply staring at her.

Kara blushes again. She’s really not used to compliments. “I’m just thinking of how lucky  I am to have met you. I owe Alex  a big ice-cream.”

Lena snorts amused. “In that case you owe the kid the whole factory.”

Kara smiles and raises her glass to Lena. “To Alex.”

Lena copies her, her smile showing teeth. “To Alex.”

XxXxX

“Alex!”

Alex giggles and keeps running away from Lucy.

Apparently asking for a nice night in dedicated to Disney was too much to ask for. Alex decided that after the pizza got home – and after eating her fill in cheesy deliciousness – that it was a good time as any  to start chasing Lucy around with a slice in hand and with the firm intent of rubbing the thing on her face.

“ Go d dam n it , Alexandra!”

Alex’s giggles turn into a full laugh.

“Alex, no!”

Lucy curses the moment she agreed on babysitting the asshole.

She also curses the moment she agreed on letting Alex have soda with her pizza.

XxXxX

“Where are we going? Aren’t we going home?”

Lena would be offended over that line of questioning if it wasn’t Kara the one getting panicky over their date not ending when it was supposed to end.

But Lena understands that Kara is missing the girls and this birthday celebration/date was a spur of  the moment idea Lena had and thus Kara had little time to mentally prepare for it.

Kara always reacts to things b etter if she has up to a week to get ready for them.

“No, love.” Lena reaches between their seats to take Kara’s hand and interlace their fingers ov er the gearshift. “I have a surprise for you.”

Kar a shift s in place. “Shouldn’t we be back at home? It’s past Alex’s bedtime and I’m not sure Lucy is ready to tackle hyped Alex.”

Lena snorts. “W hy would Alex  b e hyped? They are having a tame night in.”

Kara sighs  in mock disappointment . “Please tell me you don’t think Alex is behaving as we speak.”

Lena gives it some thought. She shakes her head. Kara’s right. “Poor Lucy,” she mutters. “Alex must be a handful right now.”

Kara nods solemnly. “Reason why we need to go  home soon.”

“No, love. I’m sure Lucy is more than capable of taking care of the rascal for a couple of hours more.”

“A couple of hours?!”

XxXxX

“I swear to all that’s holy, I’ll kick your butt if you don’t come down right now!”

Alex’s legs dangle from the entrance to Lucy’s room. Alex knows she’s not allowed in the attic, yet the moment Lucy took her  eyes off  of her, she was making a mad dash up the stairs and up the ladder.

“If you fall down, I’m not kissing your booboos,” Lucy threatens, frustrated.

Alex gasps at that. “Mean  Cee !”

Lucy wants to whine, but she refrains. She’s the responsible one here. “ Cee is tired, Ally,” she explains. “Come down and we’ll cuddle to Frozen.”

Alex narrows her eyes. “Hate Frozen,” she accuses.

Lucy rolls her eyes. She’s gotten adept in understanding  Lexie ’ s speech over the last week too. “I don’t hate it,” she mutters, arms crossed. “I just don’t love it as much as you do.”

Alex sticks her tongue out. “ Hafta love Frozen!”

“Hey! Put that away! The tongue troll will come for it!”

That does it.

Alex is down the ladder and into Lucy’s arms in less than a second. “Tongue troll?” she asks in a frightened whisper.

Lucy winces. She might have given Alex nightmares now.

But at least she’s down the ladder.

Lucy grabs the girl’s pacifier from where it’s dangling off its strap and pops it in Alex’s mouth. “As long as you don’t stick your tongue out the tongue troll won’t come. If you keep your  paci in for the next couple of hours, I’m sure they’ll get tired of waiting to see your tongue and leave once and for all.”

Alex nods, pacifier bobbing in her mouth.

“So, Frozen?”

Alex rubs at her eye and nods once more.

Lucy sighs. Maybe, with luck, Alex will fall asleep to the dumb movie.

XxXxX

“Okay. You can open them now.”

Kara’s eyes open when commanded and she gasps.

Lena asked her to close her eyes when they were getting too close to their destination, so she had the vague idea where they were heading but she couldn’t be sure.

Seeing the stars and constellations above her head, she thinks her very first guess was right.

“The planetarium…” she mumbles, staring  up at the fake night sky.

Lena comes behind her, hugging her. “Yes, love.”

The place is barren from people but them, which makes sense. It’s late and the place is closed. Lena must’ve pa id a small fortune or asked for a favor in order to be able to pull this off.

It’s an amazing gesture and one that makes Kara remember her early childhood.

Kara’s heart clenches. “Why here?” she asks in a whisper.

Lena leaves a tiny kiss on the side of her head. “Your  _ baban _ helped remodel this place, no?”

Kara’s breathing hitches. It’s not often she talks about her family with Lena… hell, is not often she talks about them with anyone. If she told Lena that, it was just in passing and not meant to be remembered.

Lena doesn’t stop surprising her.

“Y-Yeah, he did.” She exhales shakily. “He used to spend a lot of time here… he’d bring us around often too.”

Lena presses herself closer to Kara. “I wish I could’ve met them,” she whispers softly.

Kara nods, eyes never leaving the images above them. “They’d loved you.”

Lena sighs deeply. “I hope so,” she mumbles against Kara’s ear.

Kara frowns a little at that. Lena’s voice sounds off. She turns in her girlfriend’s arms and hug s her by the neck. “Lee?”

Lena smiles sadly. “I have no way of doing this the proper way, just like I know you’d always dreamt of. But, maybe I can still get their blessing?”

Kara’s frown deepens. “Lee?”

Lena pecks her lips once before letting go of her. She takes a step back and kneels before Kara. Her hand goes into her coat’s pocket and she brings out a small red,  velvet box.

Kara gasps.

Lena smiles up at her. “Kara  Zorel , I’ve known you for little time, but I know that you and I are meant to be together forever. Meeting you was like meeting the perfect match for my soul. I finally felt complete and at ease. I finally could stop looking and say, yes, this is my person. I know that it’s soon, believe me, I know, but I also know that asking today will be the same as asking next year or when we turn gray and bald: I’m hopelessly in love with you and that won’t change. Ever. The stars can dim and die out and my love for you will remain. Aliens can come and try to wipe  us all out and I’ll still love you with all my heart. Ice-cream can cease to exist , and I’ll love you even more because I know you’ll try  to make me some.”

Kara chuckles wetly at that. That  sounded wa y too much like Alex’s way of thinking.

“So, Kara Aylin  Zorel . Would you make me the happiest, luckiest, most loved woman in the multiverse and marry me?” She asks, opening the box and presenting a golden ring.

Kara rubs at the tear tracks on her cheeks. “Wasn’t I supposed to propose to you?”

Lena shrugs. “You can totally propose later. Right now , it’s my turn and I choose to do it here and now.”

“Why here?”

“Because I can’t ask your  _ baban _ __ for his blessing and I believed this could be the closest to him as we could, ”  she answers honestly.

“You are such a dork,” Kara says around a sob.

“A dork still waiting for an answer,” Lena murmurs softly.

Kara laughs wetly. “Of course I’ll marry you!”

Lena takes Kara’s hand in hers and gently slides the ring on her finger. “Perfect fit.”

Kara tugs Lena up and kisses her hard and deep. “I love you.”

Lena pecks her lips once. “I’m glad because we are getting married.”

Kara laughs again. “You couldn’t wait ‘till after New Years? Your ring is  still getting fitted !”

Lena beams.

It’s good to know she didn’t rush things up.

XxXxX

“Shhhh,” Lena, being the first one into the house, whispers. “They are asleep.”

After spending as long as they could making out under the planetarium sky, they are finally back home to a sight half endearing and half exasperating.

The living room is a mess, two boxes of pizza lay empty on the coffee table, as do several cans of soda. The couch is moved several inches to the right and there’s a stain in the rug that Kara thinks might be ketchup – or red paint. 

For the sake of the girls’ butts, she hopes it’s the former.

And said girls are curled up together on the couch. Alex, as Alex does, is using Lucy as her personal mattress/teddy bear, while Lucy’s arms are holding Alex in place as if the teen’s life depended on it.

Both are fast asleep to Netflix’s home-screen and the adults can’t help but smile at the tenderness of it all.

They’ll break the news  on the girls in the morning. Right now , they carry them upstairs and into Alex’s bed. And then…

… then they’ll celebrate their engagement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3
> 
> Love you guys


	57. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know the drill by now... life is a mess, but on the plus side my little guiding demon keeps feeding me with ideas!!!

Lucy rolls her eyes and slides in the bed next to Alex.

“You are being stupid,” Lucy says matter of fact, spooning Alex.

Alex grumbles.

“Miss L is right. Being cooped up inside is not good for us.”

Alex shifts, scooting away from Lucy. She curses her full bed in her mind because the space just makes it easier for Lucy to chase her.

“Alex!” Lucy whines. “We need to celebrate the new year! We need to go!”

Alex turns in Lucy’s arms, burying her nose in the older teen’s neck. “But I don’t wanna!”

Lucy shakes her head. “Is this what Miss L has to go through every time she forces you out the house?” she wonders out loud.

Alex nods solemnly.

Lucy sighs. “Alex, com’on. Don’t you miss the gang?”

“They your gang. Not mine.”

“Oh, come on! Don’t you miss Kate and Sara?”

Alex shakes her head.

Lucy groans, before and an idea pops in her mind. “I heard Sawyer will be there too. You like Sawyer.”

Alex scrunches up her nose. “Why does she even hang out with you, guys?”

“Since Mike’s party, we’ve been chummy. And I have three classes with her. She’s gotten close to Kate lately too.”

“Uh.”

Lucy’s eyebrows raise at that. “Whatever you mean?”

Alex shrugs. “You lot are not her usual type.”

Lucy frowns at that. “You implying we are boring or something?”

Alex rolls her eyes at that. “Such a fragile ego.”

Lucy pokes her side, making Alex flinch. “Such an inflated ass.”

Alex glares. “My ass no fat!” she grumbles, pushing Lucy.

“Whose ego is fragile now?” Lucy taunts, rolling on top of Alex. She’s grateful Alex’s stitches were taken out yesterday because otherwise, the younger girl would be a fussy mess by now.

“Geroff!”

Lucy laughs, tickling Alex’s side. “Say we’ll go!”

“Arg! Damnit, Luce! Geroff!”

Lucy just laughs harder, tickling the girl beneath her enough to make her buckle. “Say we’ll go!”

“Naaaah!”

“Girls.” Both kids stop to look over the door at Kara’s raised eyebrow. She has a towel slung around her neck and she’s sweating heavily. No doubt she is just done with her daily workout. “What’s going on?”

Lucy pouts at Kara, still straddling Alex. “She  wouldn’t go with me to meet the girls!”

Kara’s eyebrows raise. “You are not going to any party. Remember last time?”

Lucy shakes her head, straightening enough to see Kara better. “It’s no party. We are meeting at the new GoKart place that opened on the Hills.”

Alex wiggles beneath her. “Weren’t you lot meeting at the gotcha place?”

Lucy’s eyebrows rise. “Change of plans… how do you even know that?”

Alex shrugs before buckling Lucy enough to throw her off the bed. Luckily for Lucy, the carpet is thick and fluffy. “I text with Maggie often,” she says, looking at Lucy from over the edge of the bed.

Lucy’s eyes narrow. “She texts you?”

Alex shrugs again. “Yeah. So?”

“What does she want? Why would she text you?”

Alex smirks then. “Jealous now?”

“Girls,” Kara interrupts them again. It’s nice to see them both so at ease that they forget she is there, but still. “When is this go-kart thing happening?”

“Tomorrow,” the girls answer in unison.

Lucy then turns to Kara. “Miss L already said we could go.”

Kara snorts at that. “Figures she would. Fine. You can go. Lena and I are going out tomorrow too.”

Alex pouts. “But I don’t want to go!”

“Tough luck,” Lucy chirps. “We are going.”

Kara smiles. “Lucy is right. You need to go out at some point.”

Alex waves her casted hand around. “Guys, I can’t do much with this!”

Lucy rolls her eyes. “Do you really think I’ll leave you on your own? Those go-karts are two-seaters.”

That floors Alex and her eyes widen in wonder. “Really?”

Lucy smiles softly. “Why do you think we changed our plans? I needed to make sure you’ll be able to have fun too. You’re good, but you’re not good enough to shoot with just one working hand.”

Alex’s earnest eyes and then on Kara. “We can really go?” she asks, now excited.

Kara smiles. “We already said yes. I trust you’ll be careful and call us if anything happens.”

Both kids nod.

“Where are you going,  _ anne _ ?” Alex asks curiously.

Kara grimaces a smile. “We got invited to the Nal’s new year’s welcoming party.”

Alex’s nose scrunches up. “Yuck.”

“Exactly.”

Lucy frowns. “Why is that yuck?” she asks, confused.

Kara shakes her head. “It’s a formal event. And a boring one. It’s a brunch kind of deal and all of Nia’s parents’ partners and friends attend it. It’s an old people party.”

Lucy’s frown deepens. “Why are you invited then?”

Kara shrugs. “Nia’s parents like me. Even after breaking up with her, I’m invited. This is the first time I’m going after our breakup, though.”

Lucy is still so confused. “And they are inviting Miss L too? Even if she’s your new partner? You’re engaged!”

Kara shrugs again. “I’ve stopped asking myself that very same question when it started giving me a headache. I think Ms. Nal kinda wants to make good with Lena, though.”

Lucy looks too lost.

“Nia’s parents are doctors, just like her,” Alex explains. “They are always looking for investors for the hospital. Right,  _ anne _ ?”

Kara nods. “I think that’s why Nia wouldn’t leave me alone until we agreed to go, yes.”

Alex frowns next. “Weren’t you and Nia mad, though?”

“After your accident, we started talking again,  _ minnoş _ .”

“She doesn’t get mad over Miss L?”

“No, Lucy.” Kara smiles. “Nia is not the getting mad type. And Lena is not the first partner I’ve had since we broke up.”

Alex’s head tilts to the side. “But Nia is the jealous type,  _ anne _ . Don’t you remember what happened with Taylor?”

Kara grimaces. “Please don’t remind me.”

“Do I want to know?”

“No,” Kara answers Lucy. “You don’t.”

Alex nudges with her foot. “I’ll tell you later.” She turns to Kara. “May the force be with you.”

Kara nods solemnly. “May the force be with us all.”

XxXxX

“I’ve missed you so much!”

Alex grunts when Sara runs up to hug her. “Uh. Hi?”

Alex doesn’t get Lucy’s friends. They are touchy-feely and they are open about everything. She guesses this is where Lucy learned to be an over-sharer, but still, it’s weird.

She’s used to Max’s coldness and Siobhan’s bitchiness… even Lucy, when she hung out with them, was not as open as Alex’s learned she really is. The few other friends and acquaintances she’s had over the years never gave affection as easily as Sara and Kate do…

Kate comes around, ruffling Alex’s hair, taking advantage that Sara has Alex immobile. “You’ve been absent for a long while. Lucifer said you broke your finger. Hope it wasn’t the fun one.”

Alex’s eye twitches.

These girls are way too touchy-feely.

Maggie walks up to them. She elbows Sara away and swats at Kate’s arm. “Leave her alone, assholes. Don’t you see she’s uncomfortable?” She turns to Alex and smiles. “Hey, Alex.”

Alex smiles back. “Hey, Mags.”

Kate chuckles and Alex looks over just in time to see Lucy frowning and punching Kate in the shoulder.

“Shut up,” Lucy grumbles.

Kate just laughs harder and Alex is confused.

“Ready to go beat this lot?” Maggie asks, pulling Alex´s attention back to her.

Alex looks around. “… aren’t we missing another person? Luce said we were gonna go in pairs…”

Maggie waves her off. “Allen is, as always, busy. So it’s just us.”

“It’s a girls’ day out, so Ollie wasn’t invited either,” Kate explains further. “And we all know where Barry is all the time.”

“In Iris!” Sara exclaims too eagerly for Alex’s tastes.

“So, it’s just us,” Maggie loops her arm with Alex’s. “You’ll come with me, right?”

Alex shrugs. “Sure.”

Alex thought she’d be glued to Lucy for the day, but she guesses it’s only fair to let her sister have fun with the two lunatics she calls friends.

Alex knows she’s a handful, and having to babysit her is not what she thinks is fun. Lucy babysits her all the time, even before she was aware she was doing it, so she thinks she owes Lucy at least a day to relax.

She can be her bigger self for a while.

She thinks.

Alex walks with Maggie to the shack with the rentals, not aware that Lucy is glaring at them both and that Kate and Sara are making their best not to burst out laughing at Lucy’s expense.

“We didn’t know you had the hots for Danvers,” Sara says with a smirk.

Lucy frowns. “I don’t.”

And that’s true. She doesn’t want to bed Alex. She doesn’t want to date Alex. She doesn’t want any kind of romantic relationship with Alex…

… but she also doesn’t want  _ anyone _ bedding, dating, or having a romantic relationship with her.

She’s her little sister, damnit, and she doesn’t want her to be holding hands and dating and stuff.

She’s too small and precious for that.

“Yo! Sawyer!” Lucy jogs to the other two.

Maggie turns, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

“Find another partner. This one’s taken.”

Maggie frowns and Alex’s eyebrows shot up.

“What?” Maggie asks.

“What you heard, Sawyer. Beat it.” Lucy takes Alex’s good hand. “Com’on.”

Alex follows easily, confused, but easily. “Cee?” she asks, weirded out.

Lucy grumbles as she pays for their rental of the day with her own money. Kara gave them both money to spend around and have a decent lunch, but she feels bad to use it. She’s staying at their house, eating their food, and having them buy her supplies and a bedroom.

She doesn’t want to make them waste more on her.

“Cee? What’s wrong?”

“I don’t like her,” she finally mutters after having received their helmets and keys.

Alex frowns and lets Lucy fasten a helmet in her head and adjust it properly. “Who? Mags?”

Lucy nods. “Yes.”

Alex blinks, lost. “Cee?”

Lucy’s frown deepens. “She’s flirting with you and I don’t like it.”

The moment it dawns on Alex, she rolls her eyes. “You’re jealous of Maggie.” It’s a statement, not a question.

Lucy’s frown turns into a scowl. “I’m not jealous of Sawyer!”

Alex contemplates her for a moment. “You totally are.” She breaks into a wide grin then. She launches at Lucy, hugging her tight. “Don’t worry, big sis,” she mumbles in her neck. “You’re still my favorite.”

Lucy’s shoulders relax at that. “You’re such a dork.”

Alex pecks her lips. “You love me.”

Lucy sighs, mock exasperated. “Yes, I do.” She grins back. “And I love you too.”

Kate, Sara and Maggie look on with open mouths and widened eyes. They were too far to hear what it was said at the beginning, but they definitely saw the kiss and overheard the love proclamation.

Lucy turns to them then. “Come on, slowpokes! Let’s see if any of you can outrun me!” she dares, taking Alex by her good hand and jogging to the trail.

The other three are left behind, confused.

“When did they start dating…?” Sara voices what’s in everyone’s mind.

Kate shrugs. “Beats me. But if I know Lucy, she’s gonna be cheating soon.”

Maggie frowns. “What do you mean?”

Kate grimaces. “Lucy is not known to stick to one lover… and I don’t see Danvers letting Lucy be poly as easily as her other partners.”

Maggie’s frown deepens.

“But, hasn’t Lucy been single for a while now?” Sara questions.

“I guess?”

That doesn’t make Maggie feel any better. “What do you mean you guess? Aren’t you her friend?” she asks, hotly.

Maggie really likes Alex and she doesn’t want her to be hurt… and Kate and Sara are implying she’s gonna get hurt and she doesn’t like it at all.

Kate shrugs again, but it’s Sara the one who answers. “Lucy is a wild one. Sure, we’re her friend and all, but she spends all her time with Alex and her gang… or at least she used to. If you haven’t noticed, she’s rarely around. And she doesn’t open much about her life outside of school.”

“We know her dad’s in the army.”

“Yeah,” Sara continues. “And I think she’s mentioned a sister.”

Maggie looks appalled. “You know nothing of your friend!”

“She’s a closed book, Sawyer. Don’t sweat it.”

“Guys!”

The three turn to see Alex beaming and waving at them. “Com’on! Luce wants to go now!”

They kept silent for a moment, contemplating on how hyped Alex looks and how Lucy just smiles happily at her.

“Lucy beats the shit out of us when we call her Luce,” Sara mutters after a few seconds.

Kate shakes her head and loops an arm around Maggie’s shoulders. “Ah, my friend,” she says mock gravelly. “You won’t be able to compete with that.”

Maggie elbows Kate’s side. “The fuck you mean?”

“We know you like Danvers,” Kate says matter of fact. “But I think you lost your chance.”

Maggie elbows Kate harder. “I’ll steal your girl then,” she says salty, knowing Kate is right.

Kate laughs openly at that. “Sara ain’t mine to keep leashed. Please, if she wants, take her.”

Sara rolls her eyes. “She’ll better buy me coffee first, though,” she sniffs indignant and strolls away.

Maggie blinks dumbly. “Did she just…?”

Kate steers her to the karts. “She did. Now, buy her coffee.”

“Come on, guys!” Alex yells again. “Let’s have fun!”

Maggie shakes her head.

She likes Alex, there’s not denying that. Alex is fun and earnest and easy to get along with, and yes, Sara and Kate were right, she wanted to pursue something more with Alex.

Yet, she’s also smart enough to see that might not be possible now, given how smitten Alex looks with Lane, but what Kate and Sara said about the shorter brunette? That, that she doesn’t like.

So, she’s gonna make sure to keep an eye on Lane and if she sees something she doesn’t like, she won’t hesitate on taking Alex and leaving the place altogether. 

The last thing someone as lovable and amazing as Alex needs is to be treated badly. Specially if it's by someone that’s meant to love her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, I know, but we needed some downtime guys :)
> 
> Thanks to @belizafryler for the second pair of eyes that helped beta this.


	58. Chapter 58

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't even say sorry for the delay...
> 
> In my defense, I've forgotten that part of writing is updating AND school has made me forget AO3 exists.

Lena is out of the car and running before Kara can properly turn the engine off, having spotted the girls the moment they entered the parking lot.

“Oh my God.” Lena rushes out, hugging both the girls against her chest as soon as she’s in front of them. “What happened?” she asks frantically, checking each kid, turning them one way then the other.

She’s glad the Nal’s party allowed them to dress casually so that they could go from there to the mall Lucy called them from without any stops. Meeting Nia had been fun, and talking with her about Kara and Alex was so worth the endless speeches they heard and the long chats they had to endure, all of them trying to buy the Luthor’s good graces to push Lena into donating to the hospital.

In all reality, if Lena had access to the family fortune as they all think she does, she’d donate in a heartbeat, but thankfully her mama still controls her share of the family company. That means no access to the amount of money they were asking for but also means not worrying about board matters and business decisions.

She’ll tell her mama soon about the things Campbell’s Hospital is aiming for and let the older woman decide if what they want is something the Luthors would stand behind. She doubts her mama will say no, but she needs to talk to her first.

“Mama?” Alex asks, weirded out at the manhandling. She hugs Lena, tight, trying to calm her down. “Nothing happened?”

“Why did you call, then?” Lena’s eyes find Lucy’s as Kara comes to them, hugging the oldest teen to her side.

“Good job,  _ kedi _ ,” Kara compliments, kissing the top of messy dark hair.

Lucy smiles sheepishly and throws a thumb’s up to Kara’s way. “Miss Z told me to call you at three to check-in. If you were still at the party, I was to tell you to meet us.”

Lena glares at Kara then. “What?”

“You can’t deny that party was awful.”

“You let me believe they might be hurt?” Lena asks incredulously at Kara.

Kara rolls her eyes. “I  _ told _ you they were fine.”

Lena’s glare turns to Lucy. “You called to be picked up!”

Lucy throws her hands up before her in defense. “I told you we needed a ride! I never implied we were in trouble!”

Lena pinches the bridge of her nose. “I swear to…”

Kara smiles pained. “It was never our intention to worry you.”

Lena huffs and tucks Alex against her. “You are buying us an early dinner,” she declares, herding Alex into the mall.

Kara and Lucy watch them go for a moment before turning their eyes onto each other.

“I thought you’d be at the go-kart place?” Kara questions.

Lucy grimaces. “The gang was acting weird.”

“Weird how?” Kara asks as she starts to walk them after the other two, arm slung over Lucy’s shoulders.

“Maggie got really rude shortly after we got there, and Sara was making more lewd jokes than usual and those made Al uncomfortable. Kate was unusually quiet though, which made  _ me _ uncomfortable. We left after a couple of races.”

Kara hums. She reaches into her purse and gets out a twenty. “Here,” she says with a smile. “For a truly well-done job. Just don’t tell Lee.”

Lucy grimaces. “Please no.”

Kara narrows her eyes. “Why not?”

Lucy smiles awkwardly. “You already give me enough letting me crash at your place.”

Kara sighs deeply. “We’ve gone through this already, Lucy. You are not crashing at our place. You moved in. You are part of the family now.”

Lucy’s smile turns a little sour. “You say that now,” she mumbles.

Kara hugs her to her side. “I don’t think we’ll change our minds, Luce. Even if you did something really bad, we’ll still be there. We’ll still care.”

Lucy is about to say something when Alex’s voice reaches them. “ _ Anne!  _ Can we eat sushi?”

Kara turns to Lucy. “You want sushi?” she asks softly.

Lucy nods, glad they couldn’t keep talking. “Yeah. Sushi sounds great.”

Alex comes running to them. “Sushi? Mama said it was okay as long as you guys want it too.”

Kara loops her free arm around Alex’s shoulders, hugging both kids close. “Sushi it is,  _ minnoş. _ ”

Kara keeps her arms around the girls as they walk to meet Lena who is waiting by the sushi restaurant Alex found.

“Sushi then?” Lena questions.

“Sushi!” Alex beams up at her. “Can I have raw fish?”

Lena’s nose twitches, she exchanges a look with Kara and her disgusted face says it all. “You’ve never had it, angel, right?” Alex shakes her head. “Then, let’s not risk it, okay?”

Alex pouts but lets herself be guided inside the restaurant.

She really wanted to try raw fish!

XxXxX

Kara snorted amused, her arm is draped over the back of the booth, brushing on Lena’s shoulders, and eyes glued to the small spoon fight happening across the table.

“Ally! You ate all the syrup!”

“’S mine ice-cream!”

“Not true!”

Lena leans against Kara’s side. “We should’ve let them each have their own dessert,” she murmurs, watching the small fight the girls are having over the tempura ice-cream they let them order.

“And give them a sugar high? They already had soda,  _ şeker _ .”

Lena hums. She reaches out and taps on each of the kids’ hands in turn. “Behave,” she scolds them. “Share.”

Lucy huffs and Alex crosses her arms as much as she can with her cast.

“Behave,” Kara reminds them. “We can always leave before you finish that.”

Alex pouts and goes back to eating the ice-cream while Lucy grimaces. “Sorry Miss Z.”

Kara reaches across the table and squeezes Lucy’s hand. “It’s okay,  _ kedi _ . Eat before it melts.”

Lucy smiles and joins Alex in polishing the dessert.

Lena sighs happily, pressing tight against Kara in their shared booth. “They’ll need a change of clothes,” she comments idly.

Kara hums. “Luckily you have me keep a bag in my trunk too.”

Lena nods. “We should’ve brought Alex’s sippy cup,” she comments lazily.

Kara snorts. Alex has never had a good relationship with normal glasses and cups. If Alex is not careful enough, she ends up wearing some of her drink. Alex’s solution for years was to simply use straws and, later on, drink from any kind of bottle available.

Unluckily for them, the restaurant they chose has a strict no-straw policy and Alex ended up wearing most of her Fanta. And Lucy, while able to eat and drink without getting dirty, fell for Alex’s clumsy attempts of sharing her food with the older teen, making both kids dirty in under thirty minutes.

Neither of the adults thought it was a big deal.

Just like Kara said, Lena makes sure they all have a change of clothes in their cars.

“I’ll get the duffle,” Kara says, pecking the side of Lena’s head. “Keep an eye on the little ones in the meantime.”

Lena hums in affirmation, a smile blossoming when she notices the light blush on Lucy’s cheeks. “Something the matter, kiddo?” she asks as Kara leaves for a moment.

Lucy shakes her head, ducking her gaze downwards. “Nuttin’”

Lena narrows her eyes, but a small clatter draws her attention to their younger kid.

Alex smiles sheepishly as the rest of her Fanta slowly spreads all over the table.

Lena smiles back.

It is indeed good she insisted on having a change of clothes in their trunks at all times.

XxXxX

“Oh!” Alex tugs at Kara’s hand. “Need there!”

Kara smiles easily. The morning might have been boring, and she knows she’s still in hot water with Lena over worrying her, but she’s having fun outside for the first time in a long while and she’s enjoying going around the mall with her three girls.

She eyes the store Alex wants to head in and tugs the overexcited kid to her. “You want a friend to keep Fluffy company,  _ minnoş _ ?” she asks, a little redundant.

If the kid’s pointing at a stuffed animal’s store, she obviously wants a stuffy.

Alex shakes her head. “ _ Hayır _ . Cee!”

Kara hums, hugging Alex in place. “Lucy and Lee are on the other side of the mall, love. Maybe we can ask them to come?”

The kids started developing a little sugar high just before leaving the restaurant and it became obvious that Alex dropped further into her headspace when Kara was helping her change shirts. To avoid any kind of incident, and to allow the kids to roam as free as possible, Lena took Lucy window shopping while Kara and Alex walked around, trying to get all the sugar out of Alex’s body.

Alex shakes her head, exasperated. She steps out of Kara’s hold. “ _ Anne,  _ _ hayır _ _.”  _ She tugs at Kara’s hand. “Buy for Cee!”

“Ah. You want to buy a surprise for Lucy, love?”

Alex nods.

Kara smiles wide, guiding them into the store. “Very well. I think we all need a friend with us, uh?”

That makes Alex stop in her tracks. “Mama too!” she exclaims, a little panicky.

Kara chuckles at the panic in her voice. She kisses her forehead. “Yes. We can buy mama one too.”

Alex smiles wide, the small crisis she had over Lena not having a plushie instantly forgotten.

“Oh, mom!” A young voice suddenly calls their attention to the side. “It’s Kara! And Alex!”

Alex flushes bright as a teen, not much younger than her body’s age, comes bouncing to them, an older woman following behind.

Kara smiles wide, putting herself half a step between Alex and the newcomer. “Hello!”

It’s not often that they are approached by their fans, but when they are, the fans always flock to Kara first.

Kara’s face is the most recognized between the two of them, given that most of Alex’s videos are taken with the GoPro camera, and Kara’s tutorials and hauls show the blonde prominently. People always spot Kara first, and then Alex would be identified. That’s how it usually is.

Alex is always shy when meeting people that know of her. Most of the people that approach her in the streets like this know of her via Kara’s videos and not her own, so it’s something that Alex is never too comfortable about.

Sure, Alex has her own fanbase, but the people that actually follow Alex for her stunts and parkour routines are not the kind of people to approach her in a mall.

“Oh, my gosh!” the teen squeals. “It’s really you!”

Kara’s smile dims just enough for Alex to see the volume is too high. “Hi,” she repeats. “What’s your name, sweetie?”

The teen vibrates with excitement. “Tiana. Oh, gosh! Can I have a picture?”

Alex presses herself just a tad closer to Kara.

Kara nods in acceptance. She knows Alex doesn’t like it when people come from nowhere and ask for photos, but Kara prefers it this way. There are times when photos of them end up on the web, photos that neither remembers having taken.

After their trip to Universal Studios Kara and Alex found a handful of their photos on Instagram that showed them goofing around and cuddling up with each other. Neither was asked for them, and it’s a small blessing Kara’s manager can actually request pictures of them to be taken down… with Alex being underage and in the system, Kara doesn’t like how those pictures can generate trouble for them in the long run.

Not to mention that they are a violation of their privacy and the last thing Kara wants is for Alex to be exposed more than she already is.

She too hopes this one fan won’t attract others, as it’s often the case.

She promised Alex to help her get stuffies, damnit!

XxXxX

“Oh! I need to buy Ally this!”

Lena peeks to where Lucy is crouching down to see a couple of Harry Potter notebooks. School will be back in session soon and Lena needed new pens, which prompted them to visit Office Depot… and prompted Lucy wanting to buy half the Harry Potter items for Alex.

It’s honestly heartwarming.

And it also reminds Lena of a talk she needs to have with Kara.

Lucy wants to work, and soon, but neither of the adults know how to help with that.

Lena understands Lucy is used to making her own money since she started puberty, but the types of jobs the girl is qualified to have are not well-remunerated ones. That presents a problem because Lena knows how it is to go from a decently remunerated job to a not so decently one, and the last thing Kara and Lena want is for Lucy to go back to her usual jobs.

Lena can’t imagine her heart would manage to see Lucy beaten up after going back to underground fighting, and she’ll be damned if she lets the girl have another sugar daddy while she’s in their care. If that’s Lucy's call, she can get back to doing it the moment she turns twenty-one, but not a moment before.

“They are lovely, kiddo,” Lena says with a bright smile. “I’m sure she’ll enjoy doodling in them.”

Lucy nods happily, and that sight warms Lena’s heart. It’s not that often she gets to see Lucy so at ease.

Sure, she goofs around with Alex, and she plays with the younger girl plenty, but ever since she fetched her from the motel there’s a little cloud of something that follows her around.

Kara often finds Lucy up and about in the middle of the night. Alex is nowadays sleeping soundly in her bed, so Kara being Kara, gets up in the middle of the night to check on her and she’s been finding Lucy up every night.

Kara always takes Lucy down to the kitchen and they share a mug of warm tea over small chat. So far, Lucy hasn’t told Kara what her nightmares are about, but the bonding time seems to calm the teen down and she goes back to bed soon after.

Lena smiles. Just last night Kara told her beaming that Lucy finally accepted being tucked in by Kara after their midnight tea, which just proves that Lucy is slowly but surely getting used to the idea she’s not leaving and that they honestly intend to take care of her.

“Think I should take just the Slytherin ones? Or should I take a Gryffindor one too, Miss L?”

Now, if the kid would stop calling them by their last names, Lena would be happier.

“Why would she want a Gryffindor one, love?” she asks, crouching down beside her. “We are a house of Snakes, after all,” she points out brightly.

Lucy’s nose scrunches up, mimicking Alex when she’s not comfortable with something. “Miss Z ain’t a snake though.”

Lena nods. “True. But both you girls and I are, so it is a house of snakes.”

Lucy nods back. “True that.” She turns back to the notebooks, contemplating. “Her birthday is coming up… are we doing something?”

Lena smiles wide at how casually Lucy integrates herself in the celebration. It was a small shock when Lucy gifted Kara a couples’ spa certificate on her birthday to go with Alex’s posh restaurant coupon that Kara and she are yet to use, yet, looking back, Lena shouldn’t be surprised at all.

Lucy integrated herself in their lives so easily since she started hanging around Alex more often that by the time she moved in she was already part of their family’s plans.

It’s nice to see that Lucy is aware of that little fact too.

“Well,” Lena starts. “She’ll probably have the cast removed by then, but we haven’t planned anything yet. Any ideas?”

Lucy furrows her brows. “Lexie deserves something nice,” she mutters to herself. She looks back at Lena. “She doesn’t get along with my friends, and Maggie was rude today, so I don’t think a party is a good idea… maybe we can take her to the aquarium or something?”

Lena hugs her by the shoulders, taking care of not messing their balance and ending up on the floor. “I think that’s a wonderful idea! Come on, I think Alex’s worked through the sugar by now. We’ll buy our stuff and then tell them your idea, yes?”

Lucy blushes but nods, standing up when Lena prompts her.

“Thank you,” the kid says as they approach the cashiers.

Lena quirks an eyebrow. “What for?”

Lucy looks away and her blush deepens. “For caring,” she mumbles.

Lena just hugs her and kisses the top of her head. “We do care, Luce. We do.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Hayır_ : No  
>  _kedi_ : cat, kitten  
>  _şeker_ : sugar


	59. Chapter 59

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya know folks? If I manage to write 100 words a day, that's a lot.
> 
> But welp, here it is.
> 
> Cliffy cliffhanger ahead :)
> 
> (Joking)
> 
> (... or not?)

Lucy narrows her eyes at being questioned again. “I don’t like her.”

Alex rolls hers. “You are being stupid.”

Lucy gently swats her thigh. “Language, Ally.”

Alex huffs.

They’ve been back at school for a week now and Lucy has scrambled her normal in less than that time.

For starters, Lucy convinced mama to let her change her schedule around enough to be able to share two classes with Alex, AP English and art, so she gets to see her sister more now.

Then, the shocks of all shocks came when Lucy quit cheerleading on Tuesday. Lucy is _the_ Queen Bee, she was the leader of the squad and hands down the most popular senior in the school, followed closely by Kate, so her decision to quit was not taken well by their peers.

Alex knows it was not a decision taken lightly. She heard mama and _anne_ talk with Lucy often enough when she was supposed to be napping, so she knows Lucy didn’t decide to just quit. It was something that Lucy had the vacations to think over, not that the rest of the school got it.

Right now, the school is treating Lucy with the cold shoulder, not that her sister seems to be concerned. “It’s amazing bringing your own clothes to school,” she told Alex the other day when she asked if Lucy missed her uniform and the attention, and in regards to the attention, Lucy just smiled and declared she was tired of it.

Alex isn’t sure if she believes her, even if Lucy is now spending most of her time with Alex and is avoiding Kate and Sara at all costs.

It’s been a while since she last spent her lunches with mama. Alex got into the habit of eating with Lucy and her friends, but now Lucy is taking Alex out of the cafeteria to have their lunch at the football field.

Alone.

Lucy also goes to great lengths to keep Alex away from Maggie, which she doesn’t understand.

And when asked…

“Her intentions aren’t pure, Ally,” Lucy counters Alex’s eyeroll. “I don’t like her near you.”

When asked, Lucy always claims she doesn’t like Maggie or that Maggie is looking for something deeper than friendship. Both scenarios are just no. Maggie is a friend and Maggie is more polite with her than Lucy’s own friends.

Maggie respects her bubble, for starters. Kate and Sara are always touching her, hugging her and generally making Alex uncomfortable. Maggie doesn’t do that. Maggie also doesn’t make so many sex jokes, as Sara does, nor she’s always snarking as Kate does.

Maggie is comfortable to be around, and a little funny too.

Her sense of humor doesn’t rely solely on double entendre, nor in sex jokes. The other day she made her snort in the middle of Dr. Palmer’s class with a joke about a lettuce.

A _lettuce_.

Alex has grown to know her different personas even if she can’t really control when each would come out or why, but she’s accepted them enough and examined herself just so, that she can say she was not three years old when Maggie made her laugh over a dumb _lettuce._

Maggie is funny.

She really doesn’t get why Lucy hates Maggie.

“You are jealous,” she accuses. “You don’t have to be! You’re my favorite!”

Lucy shakes her head, laying on the rug beneath them. It took _anne_ and mama a while to convince Lucy to decorate her room as she pleased, Lucy insisting she just needed a bed, but now that Lucy caved, Alex likes to spend as much time in her room as she’s allowed.

The room is different from hers. Like, a lot different, and she enjoys learning little things about Lucy every time she goes up.

Which is not that often because if Alex is in her younger mindset, she’s forbidden from climbing the ladder.

Alex lays next to her, curling on her side to see her sister in all but blood.

The rug was smuggled from Lucy’s previous home. The fluffy thing was Lucy’s mom’s mom’s, and a family heirloom, according to Lucy, brought all the way from Lebanon. It’s red and marron and so warm to the eyes that Alex can understand why Lucy asked her moms help to get it out from where Colonel Lane had it in storage, once Lois and Clark’s house was ready to live and they finally left Lucy alone.

This rug is too amazing to have it collecting dust in an attic.

And Lucy too is too amazing to be staying in the house across the street. Lois left years ago and came back sporadically, now never to come back, and Colonel Lane is simply an ass.

Yes, Lucy is better off staying with them.

Although, if Alex is honest, Lucy’s décor sucks. Her sister has a soccer jersey, signed by some random player – random for Alex, at least, because when asked, Lucy wouldn’t shut up about him _for hours._ The rug also clashes with the NC Galaxy posters she put on the walls and there’s even a beat-up soccer ball resting on her desk, as if looking at it somehow made the room look better.

At least that’s not the ball they use to play. Alex doesn’t think that ball can withstand another kick.

“I’m not jealous,” Lucy grumbles, throwing an arm around Alex’s waist. “I just don’t like how she looks at you. She’s interested in you. You are too young to be dating,” she says seriously.

Alex’s nose scrunches up. “Ew!” Even if she felt sixteen, she wouldn’t be dating! Doesn’t Lucy know that?

“Exactly. Ew.” Lucy presses a kiss to Alex’s still tender temple. “Please let me take care of you. The way she looks at you makes it clear she wants to date you.”

Alex shakes her head, but still presses closer to Lucy, the tip of her thumb softly caressing her lips. “She doesn’t wanna that…” she mumbles. “She nice.”

Lucy kisses her temple again before rising to her feet. “Come on,” she orders gently. “Let’s go pester Miss Z for cookies.”

Alex pouts, the tip of her thumb now firmly in her mouth. “Comfy,” she murmurs.

Lucy nudges her gently with her barefoot. She took _anne’s_ no-shoe-inside-the-house policy with gusto and she rarely even wear socks inside. Alex knew there was a reason she liked Lucy. “Come! I want cookies and I know Lexie is starting to peek out. We don’t want you falling trying to climb down my ladder, yeah?”

Alex sighs. She can feel some of her control slipping, so she follows Lucy’s instructions.

Climbing down the ladder when she doesn’t feel in full control of her body is not something she likes. Feeling too little sucks. She doesn’t fear the height, but she kinda tends to panic if she happens to look down while climbing down.

It sucks.

XxXxX

“Hey.”

Lucy looks up from her mug of warm milk to smile at Miss Z. “Hey.”

Miss Z comes to sit next to her at the breakfast bar. “No tea tonight?” she asks, grabbing the carton of coconut milk that was left outside for her and pouring herself some in her empty mug.

Lucy shrugs, taking a sip of her drink. “Miss L ran out of mint tea.”

Miss Z hums around her mug. “I’ll buy some later, then.”

Lucy nods and they lapse into a comfortable silence.

These nightly chats over tea – milk in this case – are common now for Lucy and Miss Z.

Lucy, try as she might, can’t seem to sleep through the night. She goes to her room at her designated time of ten and she has thirty minutes to relax and fall asleep before either of the adults pop their heads in her room and send her to bed. She’s gotten good at unwinding before her bedtime, especially since it’s an hour after Alex is sent to bed, so she’s usually out before they check on her.

However, no matter how close to Alex’s bedtime she falls asleep to, she’s always up by midnight.

She doesn’t have nightmares, or at least she doesn’t remember them if she does. Her nightmares used to be all about her dad. About her dad discovering she didn’t enroll in JROTC, or her dad catching her making out with a girl. Hell, even the thought of her dad catching her hanging out with a girl makes her nervous and itchy.

There’s a reason only Kate knows where she lives – and that’s only because they needed to work after school for a project last year and Kate’s Wi-Fi was down that day – and that reason is her homophobe, misogynist father.

She dreads the day the man discovers she’s now living with a same-sex couple and their adopted daughter.

So, no. She doesn’t have nightmares, especially not about her dad, but she still wakes up with a sense of _something_ that makes her feel off and anxious.

But, just as she’s gotten good at unwinding and relaxing before her bedtime, she’s also now getting used to having these little midnight drinks with Miss Z.

They calm her and they center her in such a way that, just spending twenty minutes in the dark with her, chatting and drinking, makes falling back asleep easy and comforting. It’s her duty now to brew their tea so that by the time Miss Z is down from checking on Alex, they’ll have more time to just _be_.

“So,” Miss Z starts after a couple of minutes. “Still don’t remember your dreams?”

Lucy shakes her head. “No.” She rubs at her chest. “I just know they hurt here.”

And that’s what it’s bothering her the most. She can’t remember what wakes her up, just that it _hurts_.

It sucks.

Miss Z leaves her mug on the bar and engulfs her in her arms.

Lucy melts against her, breathing in the smell of her skin and clothes. A small chuckle escapes her when she suddenly realizes she now smells like Miss Z, even if a little.

“What it is?” Miss Z questions, but doesn’t let go.

“My clothes smell like yours,” Lucy mumbles against her shoulder.

Miss Z hums. “That’s because I do all the laundry together.”

Lucy nods. “I like it.”

“I’m glad.”

Lucy keeps pressed against the adult, enjoying the warmth.

She missed this kind of affection.

She’s always been a tactile person and her mom used to hug her and cuddle her all the time… but then her mom died and her dad is an ass and Lois is never around and she’s too busy with her life…

She missed this.

Sure, she got to cuddle Alex sometimes before, but it's not the same.

“Miss Z?” she asks, timidly.

Miss Z hums.

“Thank you.”

Miss Z presses a kiss to the top of her head. “What for _?_ ”

Lucy motions between them. “This.”

She receives another kiss for it. “Don’t thank me, _kedi._ ”

Lucy is the one who hums then. “Why do you call me ‘cat’?”

Miss Z snorts. “Long version or the short one?”

Lucy isn’t sure what to answer to that. “Long?” she ventures, not knowing what to expect.

“Come, then,” Miss Z nudges her. “Take your mug. Let’s take this to the couch.”

Lucy does as ordered, and follows her into the living room, mug in hand. She’s confused, but so pleased when Miss Z prevents her from sitting on the couch and tugs her onto her lap.

“Is this okay?” Miss Z questions.

Lucy just nods, a little weirded out, sure, but she won’t deny she’s comfy and happy to be held like this.

“Okay then,” Miss Z rearranges her just so that Lucy’s cheek is against her chest and she’s cradled in her arms easily.

Being small of frame has its perks.

“So, one of the first times Lena came over for dinner you came up in the conversation,” Miss Z starts, rocking Lucy gently, just like Lucy has seen her do with Alex. It’s awfully nice. “We were barely starting to know each other, and the topic of conversation was always Alex or Alex related, so of course her best friend got mentioned.”

Lucy blushes faintly at that.

“Lena told me she couldn’t believe Alex was friends with such a hellraiser as yourself… which made her tell me about a little incident with the school mascot, a gallon of organic glue and pink feathers.”

Lucy’s blush doubles at that. “She has no proof,” she squeaks out.

Miss Z laughs quietly. “And that’s the only reason she didn’t punish you. She knew it was you all along but had no proof. She was glad you used the organic glue, though, because that kid was allergic to the chemical stuff. Either way, she said, and I quote, ‘the hellraiser turned our hellcat into a chicken, in fact, she is _the_ hellcat’. She was laughing through it all, so don’t feel offended, okay? She spoke fondly of you, even if she didn’t know you as she does now. Ever since, whenever we spoke of you, we defaulted to hellcat or hellraiser. But calling you hellcat feels kinda wrong, ya know, so _kedi_ it is. If Alex gets a Turkish nickname, so do you.”

Lucy snorts at the explanation. She’s noticed both the adults tend to imply she’s a trouble magnet. Which she is, if she’s honest with herself, and the fact she’s constantly reminded of it strangely doesn’t make her feel offended or hurt.

It’s actually pretty heartwarming.

“What else do you two call me to my back?” she asks with a smile, eager to know she’s been spoken about.

It’s been so long since she’s been the focus of an adult that this is making her a little hyped. She wants to know more.

Miss Z’s smile softens. She presses a kiss between her eyes. “We call you ours, Lucy,” she murmurs against her skin. “We call you our kid, our daughter.”

Lucy’s breathing hitches at that. She didn’t…

She’s heard them speak fondly of her, but…

She didn’t, she never…

“Yours?” she mumbles, tears starting to run down her cheeks.

Miss Z nods, pressing a kiss on each of her eyebrows. “Yes, baby,” she murmurs. “You are ours.”

She never thought someone would claim her like this again. She didn’t believe she could find a family like this…

She didn’t think she would ever deserve it.

Lucy can’t help it, she turns in Kara’s arms and sobs out all the hurt and pain she’s been carrying since she was thirteen.

Lucy can’t help it, she just cries.

XxXxX

“Mama?”

Lena turns in bed to face Alex as she crawls to her from the foot of the bed, diapered butt in the air, and her dummy dangling from its strap. “Hey, babygirl,” she whispers, opening her arms for the kid.

“Lucy crying,” Alex mumbles against her chest.

Lena nods in agreement. She’s been up since Kara left their bed and she couldn’t help but eavesdrop on them. The house is quiet, and Kara and Lucy are not. It’s faint, but most of their conversation could be heard with her door wide open. Lucy is also not a quiet crier, as she knows too well, so it’s not a surprise that it woke Alex up.

“I know, angel,” she reassures the girl in her arms. “I’m sure nothing bad happened.”

“But she crying.” Alex squirms a little and Lena’s hand comes down automatically to check on her diaper. She’s dry.

“I know,” Lena repeats. “But _annen_ is with her, okay? She’s not alone.”

Alex sniffs a little but nods, cuddling closer to her. “Mama too,” she demands.

Lena smiles. Leave it to Alex to want Lena to go comfort Lucy too. “Mama is busy with her little angel,” she says softly, kissing the top of the girl’s head. “I’m sure _annen_ can deal with it all right. Listen, baby, Lucy is not crying that hard now.”

Alex stills completely in her arms, as if not moving would give her better hearing.

Lucy’s cries are indeed softer now, but she’s still crying strongly.

Alex whimpers in sympathy, a small tear leaking from her eye.

“Oh, baby.” Lena kisses her forehead. “Lucy is fine. I promise.”

“Mama,” Alex tugs at her shirt. “Sing. Sing make better.”

Lena smiles tenderly at Alex. When it’s her turn to tuck the kid in bed, she often ends up humming the song her mama used to sing to her. It always makes Alex fall asleep in a couple of minutes.

She thinks, maybe, singing tonight could calm another kid too.

“ _Memories like voices that call in the wind_ ,” she starts. “ _Medhel an gwyns, medhel an gwyns._ ”

Alex cuddles closer to her, nosing her breast, sniffling softly.

“ _Whispered and tossed on the tide coming in. Medhel, oh, medhel an gwyns._ ”

Alex yawns and Lena takes advantage of it to pop her dummy in her mouth.

“ _Voices like songs that are heard in the dawn. Medhel an gwyns, medhel an gwyns._ ”

Alex closes her eyes and Lena plays with her hair, trying to project as much calm as she can in her voice.

_“Singing the secrets of children unborn. Medhel, oh, medhel an gwyns.”_

She can no longer hear the crying and she smiles through her song, knowing Lucy is calmer now.

“ _Dreams like the memories once born on the wind. Medhel an gwyns, medhel an gwyns._ ”

Alex’s breathing is easy now, lulled into a state of almost sleep.

Lena takes the chance to press another kiss to the girl’s head.

“ _Lovers and children and copper and tin. Medhel, oh, medhel an gwyns._ ”

Soft footsteps draw her attention to the door to see Kara carrying Lucy in her arms like a little monkey.

“ _Dreams like the castles that sleep in the sand. Medhel an gwyns, medhel an gwyns._ ”

She pulls Alex closer to her, letting Kara settle Lucy next to the younger kid.

Lucy turns to face her, eyes swollen and nose red.

“ _Slip through the fingers or held in the hand. Medhel, oh, medhel an gwyns._ ”

Lena reaches over Alex and gently comb the hair away from Lucy’s face, cupping her cheek once she’s done.

Kara climbs in the bed, hugging Lucy from behind.

“ _Songs like the dreams that the bow maiden spins. Medhel an gwyns, medhel an gwyns._ ”

Lucy nuzzles on the hand against her cheek and sighs. It’s a heavy sigh, yet it doesn’t feel like a sad sigh.

Maybe it’s a release sigh… in which case, Lena wishes Lucy has found peace.

“ _Weaving the song of the cry of the tin. Medhel, oh, medhel an gwyns._ ”

Kara hugs Lucy tighter as the older kid closes her eyes. Lucy presses closer to Alex, settling in for the night.

Lena and Kara share a smile over their heads.

“ _Medhel an gwyns, medhel an gwyns.”_

Kara closes her eyes too. It was a long night and they all need their rest.

Talking can come tomorrow.

_“Medhel, oh, medhel an gwyns.”_

Lena finally closes her eyes, following her family into slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Lena sings comes from Poldark and it's aptly called Medhel an Gwyns. You can listen it [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPPCU3WBzqQ).
> 
> 'Medhel an gwyns' means 'soft is the wind',
> 
> Love cha all.


	60. Chapter 60

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, we are still alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi you all.
> 
> Yes, we are still alive.
> 
> No, we haven't forgotten about this.
> 
> Yes, we are back - for now.
> 
> No, we are not abandoning the story.
> 
> Yes, we are sorry.
> 
> No, we don't really have the time as of late to post as often - and write and edit, which, yes, sucks.
> 
> But, here, enjoy.

“Here you go.”

Lucy smiles bemused but takes the lollipop without complaining.

“What do we say?” Lena prompts her.

Lucy blushes at the reprimand. “Thanks, ma’am.”

Alex giggles at the sight. She is happily sucking her own lollipop, and  _ she _ remembered to say thank you to nurse Winnie.

The nurse smiles pleasantly at the three of them. “Your daughters are beautiful,” she comments.

Lena beams. “Thank you. We are pretty proud of them.”

“And you should be. I can see these two are headed for great things. We old women notice that kind of thing.”

Both Lucy and Alex blush at the compliment.

Lena simply hugs Lucy to her side, Alex being too far away from her to do the same.

“Now,” the nurse turns to Alex. “You might feel your hand is a little weak, that’s normal. There can also be a little pain, but you should be able to solve that with Tylenol. Try not to strain your hand too soon, okay? Take it easy and don’t do whatever you did to get it broken. Got it?”

Alex nods. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Any questions, dear?”

“Anything we need to avoid? Besides her overusing her hand?” Lena questions.

The nurse shakes her head. “Nothing. If there’s pain, lots of it, bring her back or directly to the hospital. Especially if it comes from doing everyday things. Like writing, or holding a book.”

Lena nods. “Understood.”

The nurse turns back to Alex. “Now, young lady, as much as I enjoyed your company, I hope never to see you again in this room… unless you decide to become a nurse. Then I’ll be delighted to see you around.”

Alex scrunches up her nose at that. “I hope not to see you, too,” she answers easily.

Lena’s scolding overlaps with the nurse's loud laugh. “Alex! Don’t be rude.”

Alex smiles sheepishly. “Sorry, mama. Sorry, ma’am. I didn’t mean it like that.”

Nurse Winnie waves her off. “Let the kid be. Kids are always honest.” She smiles, the wrinkles on her face shifting and giving her an almost cartoonish look. “And I like her honesty. At my age, few people are honest with me.”

“They should be,” Lucy chimes in. “You’re super nice.”

The nurse nods her head towards Lucy. “Thank you, dear. Any chance  _ you _ might become a nurse if your sister doesn’t?”

This time it’s Lucy’s nose the one to scrunch up. She doesn’t want to offend the lady, but she is so not becoming a nurse. So, she defaults to how Alex answers the hard questions. “’M too young to decide yet, ma’am.”

That brings out another laugh from the woman. “Oh, this one is headed for politics.”

Lucy’s ears redden at how easy the woman keeps teasing her.

Lena chuckles at how disgruntled both girls look. “Is there anything else we need to know?” she asks to get things going.

They need to be leaving soon. Next week is Alex’s birthday and they want the kids in bed early for tomorrow’s outing. They already spent about two hours waiting for Winnie to free herself to take Alex’s cast out and if it wasn’t for the fact the kids got candy and had the chance to play in the waiting room, Lena’s certain she’d have two grumpy girls on her hands.

“Nothing at all. You are free to go.”

Alex hops down from the examination table. “Thank you, ma’am!” she chirps. “See ya around!”

“You are very welcome, dear.”

They leave the little room and head towards the waiting room that’s become so familiar to them.

Instead of heading to the hospital to have Alex’s cast removed, Lena got the brilliant idea to simply have the cast removed at the clinic after Alex’s appointment with Dr. Quinzel. The nurse, Winnie, is a woman they see often as she helps around with the doctors working at the clinic, so she was a familiar face for Alex, in an environment that’s also familiar and safe.

It was indeed a brilliant idea, save for Lena miscalculating the times and having to wait for hours until the nurse stopped being busy.

However, all in all, Lena thinks they’d wait around the same if they’d gone to the hospital, so in her books, she still made the right call.

“ _ Anne! _ ” Alex exclaims happily as soon as she spots Kara. “Look! ‘M free!”

A couple of eyes go to Alex when she plops on Kara’s lap to shove her bare hand at her face.

Alex and using her inside voice sometimes does not happen and the couple waiting with their baby son found out that just now.

“I see,  _ minnoş _ ,” Kara smiles at the girl. Since she didn’t fit in the room with them, and she’s squeamish about all things doctors, she decided to wait for them outside. “And you also got a lolli! That’s nice!”

“Cee too!”

Lena and Kara share a knowing look. It appears that Alex lasted just necessary before letting herself drop.

Lena is impressed. Considering the school is doing a week-long revision/examination to assess exactly how much the kids forgot over break, Alex hasn’t had the time to really drop at school… something that Lucy has reported happens often. Added to the week’s stress, it’s finally Friday – a day they all use to unwind – and they had to spend most of the afternoon at the clinic, where Alex rarely drops.

There’s been a couple of times where Dr. Quinzel calls Lena or Kara – depending on who took the girl to the clinic that day – to fetch the girl from the office because she’d dropped mid appointment. That’s progress, according to the doctor, even if Kara nor Lena understand it.

As long as Alex doesn’t show any kind of distress over it, they guess it’s fine.

So, yes, Lena is impressed Alex lasted so long in her older headspace.

“Ready to go home?”

Alex nuzzles on Kara’s chin. “Ye.”

Kara waits for a beat, but instead of getting up, Alex just settles more firmly on her lap.

“Are you planning on walking on your own?” Kara asks, amused.

“No.”

The shutter of a camera pulls their attention to Lucy. She finally allowed them to pay for her plan and she’s been snapping pictures at any chance she gets. This time, it looks like the two sitting in the waiting room are her subject.

This presents a problem, though, because Alex, for some reason, hates Lucy taking pictures of her.

“Cee, no!” Alex launches at her sister and Lena catching her just in time is the only thing that prevents an accident from happening.

“Alex,” Lena scolds in a low voice. “Calm down.”

“But she mean!”

“Alex.”

Alex huffs, annoyed. She rubs at her eye and, right, with the appointment and waiting, the kid missed her nap.

Lena’s eyes turn to Lucy then. “Why did you do it? You know she hates it.”

Lucy shrugs, just a tad apologetic. “Got her to stand up, no?”

Kara comes to stand next to Lucy and tugs at her ear in reprimand. “Stop taking her picture, Lucy.”

“But-”

“Ah-ah. We have plans for tomorrow, so we are not grounding you  _ tomorrow _ . Keep pushing and you will be the whole next week. Got it?”

Lucy deflates at the ultimatum. “’M sorry, Alex. I’ll erase it.”

Alex huffs again but nods her head in thanks.

“Come on. I think we gave enough of a show today. Let’s go home.”

XxXxX

Alex's eyes widen at the sign. “Really?” she squeals.

Lucy too is looking at the sign with her mouth agape.

“Really,” Kara says, a little smugger than she probably should.

“Horses!” Alex cheers, grabbing onto Kara’s hand and tugging. “Let’s go! Let’s go!”

Lena takes Lucy’s hand and follows behind them, at a more leisure pace.

“Are we really riding horses today?” Lucy asks her just as excited.

“That’s the plan,” Lena answers happily. “Bet you don’t regret waking up earlier than normal.”

Lucy shakes her head. “Good we both napped in the car, uh?” It’s no secret that both Lena and Lucy need at least two cups of strong coffee to wake up while Alex is a crazy morning person and Kara has the uncanny ability to be up at any given time without complaint. Today they had to be up before five to get to their destination on time and, because they all knew they were going to be knocked out as soon as they were sitting, Lena and Lucy got to ride in the back of Kara’s Beetle while Alex kept Kara company in the front.

Lucy honestly doesn’t know how she’d faced if she didn’t get to sleep those three hours.

“It’s good I brought our usual, too,” Lena replied, referring to the thermos of coffee they shared about half an hour from their destination.

Lucy nods happily. Ever since moving in, she’s gotten addicted to Lena’s brand of coffee and now she can’t drink anything other than it.

She’s being spoiled and she’s loving every minute of it.

She’s also getting used to calling the adults by their first names, which came naturally once she stopped forcing herself to follow formalities around them.

It’s nice.

“Mama!” Alex’s soured voice comes from ahead as she comes running at them and latches on Lena. “ _ Anne _ said no horsies!”

Lucy gasps at that. “What?”

Kara rolls her eyes, jogging to them. “What I said, you dramatic thing, is that we have reservations for breakfast  _ before _ going to ride.”

“But horsies!” Alex whines.

Lucy’s stomach rumbles then, making her blush and Alex looks at her betrayed. “Sorry, Ally. ‘M hungry.”

“And so am I,” Lena said, smoothing Alex’s hair back. “So, we are eating before we hit the trail, otherwise we won’t have the energy to play with the horses and I know for a fact that we have many activities lined up.”

Alex gapes truly devastated at the prospect of not seeing horses as soon as possible. She grew up in the city and the only contact she’d ever had with animals was limited to school trips to the zoo or the aquarium. She wants to see a horse up close, dammit!

“Mama…”

Lena’s eyes soften at the pathetic whine. “Baby,” she whispers, “we need to eat and then I promise we’ll see the horses. Lucy and you will have a riding class and then we’ll all hit the trail with a guide. You are going to be spending the day with the horsies, okay?”

Alex pouts but nods. If she has to be patient, then she will be patient, even if it’s not something she wants to do.

Kara hugs Alex from behind. “Cheer up,  _ minnoş _ . After we are done riding, I’m sure we can convince someone to let you pet the foals.”

Alex looks up with wide, shining eyes. “Promise?”

“Promise, baby.”

Lena smiles, knowing full well that Kara and she had already all planned so Alex and Lucy can indeed play with the foals before driving home. The ranch they are visiting is interested in working with Kara in the future, so when the blonde approached them to celebrate Alex’s birthday, they made sure they could experience the best they had to offer for a fraction of the price, even if money is no issue.

Lena was the one to come up with the ranch idea, based on how Alex is starting to love My Little Pony nowadays and how Lucy suggested an outing to celebrate her birthday. It was Kara’s fame in the city, however, that allowed them to have a spot for the girls in such short notice.

Lena is not sure what type of work Kara is talking to do with them, but she knows it might involve a photoshoot and maybe having Kara’s face to promote the ranch. Apparently, one of Kara’s videos was horse themed and Kara looks like the typical cowgirl if properly dressed and painted.

Figures she’d ended up engaged with an artist.

Her mama always told her she liked the extroverted ones.

Alex rubs at her face and nods. “Kay, eat then horsies.”

Lena’s smile widens. “Eat and then horsies it is.”

XxXxX

“ _ Anne?” _

“Yes,  _ minnoş? _ ”

“Can we have a horse?” Alex asks as she gently guides her mare up the trail.

Lena snorts at that. She already said no multiple times and she knows Kara would say no too.

“ _ Hayır, _ Alex.”

Alex pouts. “Why not?”

Kara looks at her with an eyebrow raised. “Where would you put a horse?”

“In our house,” Alex says as if that’s the most logical thing in the world to know.

Their guide fails to hide a chuckle of amusement from where she is riding upfront their little group with Lucy. Lucy, on her part, does not try to hide her laughter at her sister.

Alex’s face goes red at that.

“Baby,” Lena says amused, easily guiding her horse next to Alex’s. Being a Luthor has its perks and horse-riding lessons since age eight is one of those. “Where in the house? We don’t have a large yard and we don’t have space for a barn either.”

Alex sulks, petting the neck of her horse. “We can get rid of Cee…” she mutters. “Then we’ll have space.”

“Hey!” Lucy barks unamused, looking over her shoulder. “Not cool, Lex!”

Lena gently swats at Alex’s leg. “Don’t antagonize your sister.”

Kara, with a little effort, guides her horse nearer Alex’s too. “Mind your tone, Alex,” she says quietly, admonishing her with her tone. “She’s your favorite and you hurt her feelings.”

Alex looks ahead and notices a tension in Lucy she didn’t have before.

Alex’s whole demeanor slumps at that. “Cee…”

Lena, the only one able to ride one-handed, reaches to Alex and squeezes her shoulder. “What should you do now, baby?”

“’pologize.”

“Good girl.”

Alex’s lower lip quivers and she looks at Lena with pleading eyes.

Lena, somehow having grown a sixth sense when it comes to Alex and her silent requests, nods, and speeds slightly. “Hey, Shona?” she calls their guide.

The woman stops her horse, waiting for Lena to catch up with her. Lucy continues with her easy pace, promptly leaving them behind. “Yes?”

Lena lowers her voice as Alex and Kara pass them. “Why don’t you ride ahead with Kara? I think the kids need a moment alone. I’ll be near.”

Shona’s eyes narrow. “You sure you’ll be alright?”

Lena nods. “Of course. You two can talk whatever business you were before we set off.”

Shona nods back. “Okay. We can do that.” She starts walking her horse again, Lena keeping pace with her easily.

Lucy is now riding closer to Alex and Kara, but still not near Alex.

“Uh. Actually.” Shona says softly as they breach the distance between them all. “I was talking with my partner and we think Lucy will make a great model for our horses. I spoke to her about it, and she seems interested. I know she’s underage, so we need her parents’ permission…”

Lena’s eyebrows raise. She never imagined this opportunity to show up.

“And we also think Alex could make great promo on her channel for us, but I haven’t had the chance to talk to her about it. Just like with Lucy, though, we need parental permission.”

Lena’s business mind comes into play at once. “When do you have planned for them to work with you?”

“Mid-spring. That’s when the ranch it’s at its best.”

Lena nods. “By then Lucy will be eighteen. She can give you her final answer with more than enough time. I’ll make sure to talk with her about it. As for Alex, I doubt she’ll say no to spend time with horses again. Just, keep the offer for a later date? Let her enjoy her birthday celebration without getting too caught up with work?”

Shona smiles. “Sure. I wasn’t sure if today was a good day to talk with her. And well, we do need your permission.”

Lena waves her off. “I’m sure Kara will say yes too. Just lets us talk with them, see if this is what they want, and I don’t see why it can’t happen.”

Honestly, Lena knows Alex will say yes in a heartbeat and she’s so grateful Lucy will be able to have a job soon-ish. The kid is getting restless with not being able to make her own money and the last thing Kara and Lena want is for Lucy to fall back into her old habits.

Maybe, if Lucy shows interest, this is the type of job she can do while she finds something more suited to her wishes.

Shona smiles. “Cool. I’d love working with them.” She motions ahead with her head. “I’m gonna go talk to Kara now. We’ll meet up soon,” she adds as she quickens her pace to level with Kara.

Lena watches with a small smile as Shona leads Kara further ahead and Alex guides her horse closer to Lucy. She keeps watch on them from her place behind them. They are too far away and are talking too quietly for her to hear, but she notices how both their bodies lose some of the tension they acquired in the last ten minutes.

Those two bickers all the time, they can fight like cats and dogs, but they never stay mad at each other for more than a couple of hours. No matter who started the fight, or who offended who, they always make up and Lena couldn’t be happier about it.

She also couldn’t be happier over how amazing they are, both individually and as a team.

Those two will achieve great things one day.

XxXxX

Kara’s hand is in hers on the gearstick as they drive back. Kara drove up to the ranch, so it’s now Lena’s turn to drive them home to one of the most beautiful sunsets she’s ever experienced.

It took Lena not five minutes into the drive to steal Kara’s hand and so far her fiancée hasn’t taken it back.

That’s a massive win in Lena’s useless lesbian books.

“They had a lot of fun,” Kara comments quietly.

“That they did.”

Lena looks at the girl’s reflection on the rearview mirror and smiles. Both kids were out almost as soon as they hit the road and they are now peacefully using each other as pillows. Or at least, they are using each other as pillows as much as their seatbelts and neck pillows allow them.

Alex is gently sucking on her dummy and is leaning on Lucy, while Lucy’s body is angled to Alex, her forehead resting on Alex’s temple. Lucy is snoring softly and Lena makes a mental note to give the girl some drops before bed to avoid a sore throat tomorrow.

“They are going to be achy all day tomorrow,” Kara says then.

Lena snorts. “We’ll have a couple of whiny babies in our hands.”

“Do you regret taking them there? They’ll be inconsolable tomorrow and you know Alex won’t stop asking for a horse now.”

Lena shakes her head, squeezing the hand under hers. “I’ve got no regrets, love. None.”

Come Monday they have a meeting with J’onn J’onzz, Alex social worker, and Lena is beyond excited. 

Kara and Lena have spoken plenty about this and they are certain they want to take the next step with Alex, hence the meeting and the excitement. 

They won’t tell Alex yet, though. First, they need to find out what their options are and how fast Alex can become theirs.

Officially.

Lena can’t wait for Monday to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like My Little Pony.


	61. Chapter 61

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be posted on Hallowe'en.
> 
> My apologies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gays, I mean guys....
> 
> This story is gonna end soonish and I don't know if I should make y'all wait for each chapter or do as the beta says and update quickish.
> 
> *sighs *

She’s not always liked darkness and quiet. No. She used to hate the darkness and the quiet. Darkness used to mean that anything could come and grab her, quiet used to mean that Kara was not around… Darkness once was where the monsters hid and the quiet could always be broken by the scariest noises…

But, Alex grew to like the darkness and quiet.

In the darkness, she learned, she could be as invisible as the monsters.

In the quiet, she learned, she could convince the monsters she wasn’t there.

In the darkness, she learned, she could be aware of the tiniest flicker of light.

In the quiet, she learned, it was easiest to hear someone coming.

In the end, she learned, it was safer in the darkness and quiet.

Reason why, the moment it became too much, she looked for the only place she knew she could find her beloved darkness and quiet.

That was about an hour ago, a few minutes after the bell rang and she met up with Maggie to have lunch…

She knows she’s being stupid, she does, but she’s given up on pretending she is not.

Alex knows she’s stupid and she can’t change that.

What Maggie did was okay.

She knows that too.

But it felt so wrong.

She can’t change that either.

The only thing she can hope to change is the way her chest hurts and how breathing is hard.

She’s trying, she is, but maybe she’s still too stupid to breathe properly.

“Al?” there’s a whisper in the darkness she surrounded herself in and she presses herself harder against the wall. She hides her head under her arms and stuffs her nose in her knees…

… she’s learned this position makes her the smallest.

The smaller she is, the harder it is for the light to find her, the harder for her noises to be heard, the harder for fingers to grab her.

“Al?” The voice is heard again, and she bites her lip in order not to cry out.

Not that crying out is easy, with how much her chest hurts and how little air there’s in her lungs.

“Please, Alex. I know you’re here.”

Alex frowns. She knows that voice.

That voice is… familiar.

And safe.

But still, what if the light finds her?

“Alex, please. Lena is freaking out and I’m starting to freak out too. School’s been over for a while. Kara is on her way, Alex. Please.”

Alex frowns.

She knows it’s been at most an hour since she came hiding.

She  _ knows. _

But maybe she’s wrong. It’s been a while since she last lost track of time like this. This used to be normal for her but she really thought she’d outgrown it already.

The last time she remembers this happening, she hadn’t moved in with Kara yet.

Even though she doesn’t remember why she even had an attack at that time.

(That’s a lie. She  _ remembers. _ )

“Ally?” the voice changes slightly. “Ally? Please? Where are you?”

Alex can’t help it. She whimpers at how soft the voice sounds.

There’s some shuffling at her left and she presses harder against the dark corner she found.

This place is not as safe as under her bed, but it’ll have to do until it’s darker and she can flee.

“Ally,” the voice sighs, and something moves on her left, making her flinch and whimper. “Ally, sis, it’s me, Cee.”

Alex frowns and peeks from behind her arms.

Lucy, her sister, is kneeling just a foot away. She’s smiling softly and her hands are on her knees, giving her space.

Alex remembers then that Lucy was around for that last attack. This is not the first time Lucy sees her this vulnerable, this disoriented.

Lucy was there at that time, and Lucy, blessed Lucy, got the hint right away not to touch her.

She’s grateful Lucy remembers too and she’s giving her space.

“Cee…” Alex wheezes.

Lucy nods. “Yes, Ally. ‘M here.”

“Hurts…”

Lucy frowns, prompting Alex to whimper again. “What hurts, Ally?”

“Here.”

“Ally? Can I see? Can I touch you?”

Alex shakes her head frantically.

“Okay, okay. No touching. But I need to see. Can you lower your legs and let me see?”

Alex does as she’s told, uncurling and letting her legs drop to the ground. She keeps her arms around her middle, though, because she cannot let herself be open.

She trusts Lucy with her life, but what if Lucy isn’t alone? What if Alex messes up again and she didn’t protect herself?

Even with lowered legs, she can kick.

But she doesn’t think she can wear off the shock of being touched again. At least not since Maggie did it so recently.

“Ally? Can you move your hand? You are not hurt there, right?”

Alex sniffs and shakes her head. They took the cast out last weekend, but her hand is still sore. It doesn’t hurt enough to hinder her, but it’s bothersome.

“But there’s not where it hurts the most, right?”

Alex shakes her head again. As much as her hand is messing with her, what hurts is her chest.

She chokes on thin air just thinking about it.

“Can you be my brave baby sister and try to take a deep gulp of air?” Lucy questions her, shuffling just a tad closer.

Alex shakes her head once more.

“Please, love. Please. For me?”

Alex whimpers and tries, she does, but it hurts! “C-Can’t.”

Lucy scoots closer, close enough to touch Alex’s outstretched legs. “I’m grabbing your hand, Ally,” she announces quietly, waiting for a nod before doing so and placing Alex’s hand on her chest. “Feel how my chest moves? Try to follow it.”

Alex’s hand clutches Lucy’s t-shirt, wrinkling the fabric and bringing her closer. She closes her eyes and feels Lucy’s breathing.

I-In.

Alex chokes on thin air.

“Easy, Ally.”

O-Out.

There’s a rattling heard, and Alex doesn’t know where that’s coming from.

I-In.

Alex’s chest hurt. It’s like needles are embedded in her lungs.

“Good girl, love.”

O-Out.

The rattling is still there, and Alex identifies it as her own broken breath.

I-In.

Just a tad more of air enters her lungs. It feels cold, so cold and it stabs at her chest.

O-Out.

Alex whimpers her next exhale.

“You are doing so great, sis. You are being so brave. Try and take a big one, for me?”

I-In.

Alex can feel her chest expand. It hurts so damn much, but she can feel it fill with air.

O-Out.

“Hurts,” she cries, tears leaking out her eyes.

“I know love. I know. But you are doing so well.”

In.

Something broke with the last inhalation and Alex feels the air rushing in freely.

It hurts, yes, but the stabbing is gone.

Out.

Alex sobs. Her chest feels lighter now, but her whole body aches and she wants comfort.

“Good girl, Alex. You did so well.”

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

With each passing minute it is easier and easier.

“Hug,” Alex begs after a moment.

Lucy nods. “Of course, love.”

Lucy shifts them around enough that Alex is now between her legs, her back pressed against Lucy’s chest, and Lucy’s arms around her shaking form.

“I’m proud of you,” Lucy mumbles against her temple. She kisses the faint scar that’s still visible there. “You were so brave.”

Alex just whimpers and presses closer to Lucy.

Everything is starting to come back into focus and not only her chest hurts.

She can feel the pebbles under her butt now. They are sharp and uncomfortable.

She can also feel the scratches on her cheeks now, and she doesn’t have to look in a mirror to know she’s bleeding.

There’s a dull sting on her knees. She’s wearing shorts and crawling in the dirt under the field’s stands was not a good idea. No matter how much she believes in mama cleaning under them, there’s no way of knowing what she crawled over.

“You are feeling better,” Lucy sighs, relieved.

“Uh?”

“I can almost feel your mind wandering around. You are feeling better.”

Alex is still trembling, but she does feel better. “Ye.”

“Imma call your moms now, okay?”

Alex nods. A hug from them too would feel amazing right about now.

However, there’s something off about that statement. “They ours.”

“What do you mean?” Lucy has her phone against her ear, waiting for it to connect as she asks her question.

“They our moms,” Alex mumbles, resting completely on Lucy and feeling a deep weight settle in her body.

She could sleep for days.

Lucy just hums before she’s speaking, “We are under the visitor’s stands. She’s fine… Yeah… Maybe her blanket? She’s cold… Okay, yeah. We’ll be here.” Lucy disconnects and nuzzles Alex’s temple. “They coming. You had us all worried.”

“’M sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re safe.”

Alex sighs deeply, closing her eyes. “Love you,” she slurs, half asleep already.

“Love you too, Ally. Love you too.”

XxXxX

Tracking her down after school was hard, but thankfully, Kate and Sara are close enough to her now that she could pinpoint where to go.

“Yo, Sawyer!”

Sawyer turns around, looking confused. She’s wearing a maroon apron that screams coffee shop and it’s not the uniform Lucy would expect in a bookstore. “Lane?”

“Need to talk to you. Now.”

Sawyer’s eyebrow raises. “I’m busy right now.”

Lucy narrows her eyes. “I don’t care, Sawyer. Out. Now.”

Sawyer’s eyes narrow back. She’s about to respond when a caramel-skinned woman comes behind Maggie. “Mags? Who’s your friend?”

The woman looks nice enough and Lucy can read a room – and control one when needed. So, she smiles pleasantly. “Name’s Lucy, ma’am. I go to school with Maggie.”

The woman smiles wide. “Oh! Good. Maggie never brings her friends around.”

Lucy can see from the corner of her eye how Sawyer tenses at the interaction.

“ _ Tía _ ,” Saywer says quickly. “Lucy was leaving now.”

“Yeah, I was. But I need to borrow Maggie for a moment. Outside,” Lucy says easily. She’s taken enough Spanish to understand this woman is Sawyer’s aunt. She doesn’t want to cause a scene near her… but that doesn’t mean she wants to leave without doing what she came to do.

The woman’s smile never falters, and she nods. “Sure. Maggie can take a break. We don’t have many customers today.”

Lucy smiles winningly, taking Sawyer by the wrist and pulling her towards the exit. “Thank you so much, ma’am!” she calls excitedly. “It was nice to meet you!”

“What the fuck, Lane?” Sawyer mutters as she’s dragged outside and to a nearby alley.

Lucy wastes no time in pushing Sawyer against the wall roughly. Sawyer is taller than Lucy, but Lucy has over a year of experience in underground fighting and she keeps in shape. “What the fuck indeed,” she hisses. “What did you do to Alex?!”

Maggie pushes against her, or at least, tries to push. Lucy is small for her age, but she’s not only skin and bones. She hasn’t properly worked out in some time, but she keeps fit and she knows how to use her body better than Sawyer here.

“What’s wrong with you?” Sawyer barks.

“What’s wrong with me?” Lucy presses against Sawyer with more force, one hand gripping her collar and the other keeping her wrist contained. “What’s wrong with you? What did you do to Alex?”

Sawyer huffs. “Whatever happened between Alex and me is none of your business. You are not her keeper!”

Lucy snarls. She wants to punch Sawyer’s face so badly, even if she knows that’ll spell trouble for her later.

She’s already taking a huge risk, letting Sawyer’s aunt know she was around. If she punches her, it won’t be hard to put two and two together, even if Sawyer doesn’t snitch.

“It’s my business,” Lucy explains slowly, “when whatever you did to her made her skip class and hide under the stands!”

Sawyer’s eyes widen at that. “What do you mean?”

Lucy slaps the brick next to Sawyer’s head. “Don’t play dumb! I know she was having lunch with you! When you two skipped art, I thought you were being sneaky or something, but I forced myself to ignore how Alex skipped one of her favorites classes because she told me to stop being overprotective!” She slaps the wall again. “But you two never showed up! And then she didn’t show up to go home! And Dr. Prince said she didn’t attend her class either and you don’t skip with Dr. Prince.”

Sawyer’s eyes are still wide and she looks confused, and a tad angry. “I skipped art ‘cause I needed to help Dr. Palmer with some stuff. I was excused, Lane. I don’t know why Alex wouldn’t attend!”

Lucy clutches at her collar with more force. “Dammit, Sawyer! You were the last one to see her! What did you do?!”

“Nothing!” Sawyer yells. “I did nothing! We met for lunch but then she got weird and left!”

Lucy’s hand comes closer to Sawyer’s face. “Stop lying!” she demands, tears collecting at her eyes. “Stop lying and tell me what you did!”

“You stop!” a new voice yells. “Or I’ll call the police!”

Lucy stills completely. She watches from the corner of her eye Sawyer’s aunt with her phone held high and a man behind her.

There’s no way she can sneak past them with how narrow the alley is, and no matter how much time she’s spent leaping roofs with Alex, she doesn’t think she could escape by going deeper into the alley.

Fuck.

Fuck.

_ Fuck. _

Lucy shoves at Sawyer one more time before releasing her.

If she plays her cards right, she might be able to talk her way out of this.

Maybe.

“Step away from her!” the aunt demands and Lucy raises her hands in surrender, stepping away from Sawyer but also closer to the entrance of the alley. “Don’t move!”

Fuck.

Lucy rolls her eyes. “I can’t do both,” she snarks. “Step away and don’t move.”

“Stop talking!”

Lucy only rolls her eyes again. She glares at Sawyer, who, predictably, is glaring at her.

“Now,” the aunt says. “You’ll call your parents and you’ll ask them to come here. I have a few words for them.”

“Look, lady,” Lucy snaps. “That’s not gonna happen. I’ll leave, just move aside.”

“You are not leaving! You call your parents right now or I call the police. We are not afraid of pressing charges, you know.”

Lucy exhales sharply. “I didn’t hurt her,” she says through gritted teeth. “There are no charges to be pressed.”

“We’ll let the police figure that out, won’t we? Call them. Now.”

Lucy shakes her head.

She doesn’t think she can afford another visit to the police station. Even if there are no charges pressed, her record would play against her.

“Fine,” she mutters, lowering her hands and going for her back pocket.

“What are you doing?!” the woman screams, and the man takes a step forward. “Hands where I can see them!”

Lucy is startled at that. “What? You told me to make the call! I’m reaching for my phone!” A sudden thought crosses her mind and she feels insulted. “I’m not armed!”

“With how you attacked Maggie, I wouldn’t believe you!”

Lucy grumbles under her breath. “I don’t need a weapon to beat her blue…”

“What did you say?”

“Nothing, ma’am,” she mutters. “I’m reaching for my phone. Sawyer here can see I’m not armed. I’ll call my mom now.”

The woman waves her phone like  _ that _ was a weapon. “Call both your parents,” she demands. “Mothers are always softer with their problem kids.”

Lucy smiles tightly. “Sorry to disappoint, ma’am, but I got two moms. Don’t worry, though, I’ll call the strict one if you’d like.”

Lucy doesn’t like how both the aunt and the man make a disgusted face at the information provided.

Shit.

She’s now starting to feel a little sympathy for Sawyer because one needs to be blind not to notice Sawyer is as gay as they come.

Shit.

“I’m calling my mom now,” she says easily, taking her phone out and dialing her the fourth number on her speed dial.

It rings for roughly ten seconds before they are answering. “ _ Lucy. You took off so suddenly. We were worried.” _

“Sorry,” she winces. “I needed to find out what happened to Ally.”

_ “What do you mean? What did you do?” _

Lucy grimaces then. “ _ Anne _ ,” she mumbles, no doubt shocking the woman on the other side of the line. Yet, she couldn’t stop the word from coming out. She won’t deny she’s nervous but using that word is kinda liberating. Like, she’s in trouble, she knows it, but she also knows  _ anne  _ is coming and she’ll deal with the crazy woman in front of her. “I need you to pick me up… I might have gotten into trouble.”

Lucy hears movement and some muffled words and Lucy is reminded how those two adults are somewhat always rolling with any punches thrown at them. Lucy could have said she’s stranded at the other side of the country and they would always come, almost no questions asked.

“ _ Where are you? _ ”

Lucy looks at Sawyer’s aunt and glares slightly. “A religious bookstore called  _ The Immaculate Conception. _ It’s on Armadale and York.”

“ _ … what are you doing there?”  _ There’s no judgment nor accusation in her voice, just open curiosity, and maybe a little bewilderment.

Lucy can’t help but blush. She’s still not used to adults caring for her enough not to jump to conclusions.

Even if this time, jumping to conclusions is warranted.

“I came looking for answers and I got in trouble. Please help.”

“ _ Are you hurt?” _

_ “ _ No.” Her hand stings, but that’s on her and her anger.

“ _ Is anyone hurt?” _

Lucy looks at Sawyer, she looks a little rumpled, but she knows she’s not hurt. “No, ma’am.”

“ _ Are the police involved?” _

Lucy grimaces again. She called her because she knows she’s dealt with all the stupid shit Alex has done, so she guessed she would be better armored to deal with all this.

The question about the police, however, lets Lucy know that she indeed knows what kind of trouble they are able to get themselves tangled with.

“… not yet. There’s a lady here threatening to call them if I didn’t call you guys.”

Lucy can hear an engine starting so she knows the call is coming to an end.

If there’s something both adults enforce is a no talking while driving policy.

“ _ I’m on my way, kedi. I’ll be there in about twenty minutes. Behave while I get there.” _

“Yes,  _ anne. _ ”

“ _ Good girl. Don’t worry, okay? No matter what it is, we’ll deal with it.” _

Lucy smiles softly at that. “Thank you.”

There’s a snort on the other side of the line. “ _ Don’t thank me. We haven’t talked about if you are being punished or not yet. See you in a bit.” _

Lucy grimaces again as the call drops. She’s not naïve enough to think she’s getting out of this one unscathed.

She guesses that’s the price to pay for caring adults.

“I told you to call your parents,” the woman says, drawing Lucy’s attention back to her. “Not this Annie person.”

Lucy shakes her head. “That was my mom. I just don’t call her mom.” The woman looks at her with a nasty glare and Lucy bets she doesn’t believe her. “Sawyer here calls you  _ tía. _ I call my mom  _ anne. _ Not all of us come from Spanish speaking households.”

That seems to mollify her if only a little.

“Come then. Let’s wait for your mother at the store.”

Lucy nods and lets herself be guided.

The woman walks in front of her while the man keeps watch from behind. Sawyer somehow ends walking beside her.

“Do you really have two moms?” she asks in a whisper.

Lucy narrows her eyes. “What of it?”

Sawyer shakes her head. “Nothing. Just curious.”

Lucy snorts angrily. “What did you do to Alex?”

“I told you. Nothing.”

“Listen here, Sawyer,” she says quietly. “I’m already having my ass roasted. I won’t be losing anything if I jump you right now.”

“ _ Mi tía _ will call the police.”

“And my mom knows where I am, and she knows how to deal with the cops. I really don’t care at this point. What did you do?” she asks in a final effort to get the truth.

They are already in front of the bookstore and Lucy doesn’t think it’ll be easy talking once inside.

Sawyer sighs. “She got weird and left. I didn’t have the time to do anything.”

“You two, inside,” the aunt commands.

Lucy ignores her and asks her final question. “What did you do before she got weird?”

Sawyer rolls her eyes. “I slung an arm around her shoulder and then she was off, okay? We were talking and then she was off. I thought she forgot something because she’s like that. She takes off and that’s it.”

Lucy can relate. When Alex is in her toddler mindset she often wanders off without warning. So far it hasn’t been a problem, but maybe that’s something that needs to be discussed with the moms.

But, still, there’s something that doesn’t add up.

Why did Alex panic so much she went into hiding?

Is it possible Sawyer wasn’t the last one to see her?

If that’s the case…

“Get inside.”

Lucy shakes her head to get rid of the sudden intrusive thoughts that accosted her. She does as instructed and enters the tiny bookstore, all the while wondering what the hell happened with her sister.


	62. Chapter 62

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sooooo tiiiiired
> 
> can 2020 end now?
> 
> also, beta is mean. He keeps feeding my brain with ideas and the day isn't long enough to write all I want.
> 
> I also want to nap.
> 
> Napping is good.

Kara massages her temples, trying to fend off the headache she can feel coming. 

She gets it. Lucy fucked up big time. She understood that the first time the woman went over it, there’s no reason why she is still yelling. 

It also doesn’t help that she switches to Spanish every other sentence. 

“Ma’am-” Kara tries to intervene again. 

“-  _ y claro! ¡La encontré casi golpeando a mi Maggie! _ She’s a little demon, that’s what she is!  _ ¡Pero que iba uno a esperar, siendo criada por dos mujeres! ¡Eso es del demonio! _ ” 

Kara stands up, finally fed up. “I understand, ma’am,” she says the moment she catches the woman’s attention. “I understand and I won’t let it happen again. I’ll make sure Lucy understands too and, in the rare chance she does something so dumb again, I’ll call the cops on her myself.” 

Lucy frowns at that. “ _ Anne…” _

Kara turns her eyes to her and glares mildly. “You are in trouble,  _ kedi _ .” 

When she received the call, she thought Lucy would be trespassing or something akin to all the crazy Alex and Lucy had done in the past. 

She didn’t expect to learn Lucy practically assaulted someone. 

She’s glad she didn’t actually assault the girl, but still. 

It’s weird that the one almost assaulted is Maggie. Kara thought her girls liked Maggie. 

Lucy deflates at the glare and Kara is sure if she had an actual tail and ears, those would be lowered in anxiety. 

She sighs. “Lucy. What do you have to say for yourself?” 

“I’m sorry, ma’am.” 

Kara sighs again. She hadn’t gotten Lucy’s side of the story, but she doesn’t think that’ll happen while they are still in the store. However, with how Lucy is acting and how she hasn’t jumped to her own defense, she can wager Lucy knows she did something without thinking it through. 

Still, she won’t be scolding her in front of strangers, and she will wait until she gets the truth out before deciding on a punishment. 

“Get up,” she orders quietly. “We are leaving. We need to pick up your sister and mama from the clinic soon.” 

Lucy’s eyes widen at that. “Is she okay?” she asks concerned, jumping from her seat by Maggie. 

Kara smiles. “She is, but Dr. Quinzel agreed to see her as soon as we called. So we need to leave.” She turns towards the woman – a woman she didn’t have a name for – and nods curtly. “I’ll make sure this doesn’t happen again, ma’am.” 

The woman narrows her eyes. “And how exactly will you do that?” 

Kara raises an eyebrow. “That’s between my kid and me to work out. Now, if you’ll excuse us.” She rests her hand on the back of Lucy’s neck. She squeezes softly. “Lucy,” she prompts. 

Lucy takes the hint right away. “I’m sorry I caused trouble. I’m sorry I almost hit you, Sawyer. It won’t happen again.” 

The woman reminds seated behind the desk as she glares at Lucy, then at Kara. “Make sure of that. If I see your lot around here, I’m calling the police right away.” 

Kara frowns at that, but nods. It seems extreme, but she still won’t be letting Lucy come back no matter what, so she doesn’t think it’d be a problem. 

“You won’t see us again,” Kara promises right away. “I apologize for the inconvenience.” 

She maneuvers Lucy out of the office they were sitting in and out of the bookstore easily, still holding her by the neck and ignoring the glare they receive from the man behind the counter. 

The traffic deities were on her side, because she managed to find a parking spot near the shop and so, in less than five minutes, she’s sitting with Lucy in the car, holding her hand. 

“So,” she asks. “What happened?” 

Lucy sighs, turning sad eyes to Kara. “I’m sorry,” she said earnestly. “I got angry and I couldn’t help it.” 

Kara raises an eyebrow. “You haven’t told me what happened.” 

“… Sawyer was the last one to see Alex before she went hiding. I thought she did something to her… so I came asking.” 

Kara hums. “And you asking involved physical confrontation?” 

Lucy grimaces. “I’m sorry.” 

Kara sighs. “I know you know what you did was wrong.” 

“I do. I’m sorry.” 

“And I also know you know I need to punish you. I appreciate the sentiment, but you know the execution was wrong. You can’t go around almost hitting people.” 

“I know. I do.” 

“If you do, why do it in the first place?” 

Lucy looks away and she blinks back tears. “You’re mad,” she mumbles. 

“I’m not mad. A little disappointed, maybe, because I know you know better.” 

Lucy shifts in place, still looking away. “That’s worse,” she says quietly. 

Kara squeezes the hand in hers. “Hey. I’m disappointed but that doesn’t mean I’m also not proud of you. You look out for Alex and I love that about you. I love you, Lucy. This is just a lapse of judgment and there was no harm done. Even if you had hit her, I wouldn’t stop loving you. Sure, your punishment would be worse, but that’s just how it is. You’d still be my little hellraiser, okay?” 

Lucy sniffs and nods. 

Kara smiles sadly. “You don’t believe me,” she says plainly. 

Lucy is about to nod but thinks better of lying and shakes her head instead. 

Kara sighs. “Luce, no matter what you do, I won’t stop loving you. As I said, your punishment would be worse and all, but after that was done, everything would’ve been forgiven and we could move on.” She leans between the seats to kiss the side of Lucy’s head. “In fact, after your punishment, we will leave this behind and we will move on.” 

Lucy rubs at her eye. “Why punish me at all?” she questions. “I already know it was wrong.” 

Kara combs some of her hair out of Lucy’s face. She takes the opportunity to guide the kid’s head towards her with a finger on her chin. She stares into green, troubled eyes. “Love, you knew not to do it and still did it. This time punishment is not to teach you it’s wrong, it’s so that next time you are about to do something you know it’s wrong, you stop and think of the consequences. So you stop and think if doing the thing is worth facing those consequences.” 

Lucy rubs at the tears threatening to spill out. “Like Ally and Knott Berry’s Farm?” 

“Like Ally and Knott Berry’s Farm. She knew not to do it but did it anyway. She got punished accordingly.” 

Lucy sniffs and takes the tissue she’s handed from the glovebox gratefully. “What was her punishment? I don’t think her being grounded was all of it.” 

Kara smiles tenderly and uses another tissue to help the girl clean some ruined mascara. “Of course not. That was not the first time she did something like that. She got grounded because she wasn’t sleeping well, and a grounding also means an earlier bedtime – that’s something you need to remember because you’ll be subjected to that same rule. She also got a spanking and she hasn’t tried to see anything scary since.” 

Lucy blushes faintly at that. “Yeah, Lena and I watched  _ Saw _ and she asked to join, but then thought better of it…” 

“Then the punishment worked. She thought about it twice and came to the conclusion that paying the price was not worth it.” 

Lucy shifts in place. “What’s my punishment?” she asks meekly. 

Kara smiles. She places a kiss on the kid’s forehead. “I’ll let you know after I talk with Lena. I see in your future a long grounding, though.” 

Lucy’s blush intensifies. “… no spanking then?” she asks timidly. 

Kara’s eyebrow raises at the weird tone behind the question. She can’t put her finger on it. It’s almost nervous, but also almost wistful. It’s weird. “If you were Alex, the answer would be yes. But I’ve talked to her about this topic before, so she knows the exact consequences she’d be facing, you do not. It’d be unfair to punish you like that if we didn’t talk it through before.” 

Lucy frowns a little. “That’s fair.” 

Kara nods. “Yes. Now, that bit about us picking up Alex and Lena is true. So, we better hit the road.” 

Lucy does her seatbelt as Kara starts the car. “She’s okay, right?” Lucy asks as they pull out. 

Kara smiles sadly. “She is. Whatever triggered her panic attack is gone now. She says her body aches, but Dr. Quinzel said that was just the stress. You didn’t find anything with Maggie, right?” 

Lucy sighs heavily. “How did you know?” 

“You were calm around her, Lucy. And, if she’d done something to Alex, I don’t think we’d be able to recognize her face.” 

Lucy snorts. “Yeah, she said she did nothing. That Alex just took off… maybe someone did something after that?” 

Kara sighs heavily. “Hopefully Dr. Quinzel will get her to open up. She’ll tell us if someone hurt Alex if that was the case, right?” 

Lucy bites her lower lip. “Maybe.” 

“What do you mean maybe? She should tell us if something’s wrong with her.” 

Lucy shrugs. “I just know shrinks keep secrets and won’t talk unless the patient’s life is in danger or they are planning on hurting someone.” 

“… and you know that how?” 

“TV, mostly.” 

Kara sighs. “So that might not be true.” 

“That’s why I said maybe,” Lucy points out. 

XxXxX 

Lena cuddles Alex in her lap, letting the girl focus sorely on her and her heartbeat.

Today’s session was hard and Alex dropped midway through it, going non-verbal and clingy. Lena had to enter the room and stay with her while Dr. Quinzel guided Alex through a series of games that helped the adults peek into Alex’s mind.

Sometimes Lena hates her minor in Psychology.

If she hadn’t had the training, Lena would be ignorant that there’s something buried deep inside Alex’s mind which is resurfacing at the moment and caused the girl to panic in the morning.

At least they were able to pinpoint the reason behind her minor panic attack. 

A friend of hers, Maggie Sawyer, accidentally grazed Alex’s breast while walking her outside the school and that prompted the kid to freak out. 

The reason  _ why _ that freaked the girl out, though, is still a mystery, as that was the moment Alex curled onto herself and dropped into her youngest mindset. 

“Her three months trial is almost over,” Dr. Quinzel, Harley, tells her softly, watching Alex burrow close to her mama. “Do you have a plan yet?” 

Lena smiles tiredly, rocking Alex gently. “I think after today, Kara will see reason and let her keep seeing you.” She looks down at Alex and kisses the top of her head. “I know for a fact Alex wants to continue.” 

Harley nods. “I’m glad. She’s a special girl and she deserves the chance to work through her traumas.” 

Lena shifts Alex, just enough the kid’s cheek can rest on her breast. Alex nuzzles the mound and Lena smiles. “Wrong mom, baby,” she says is a whisper. 

Alex whimpers and rubs her face against Lena’s chest. 

“You are a good mother,” Harley quips. 

Lena looks up to see the other woman smiling gently. She blushes. “Why do you say that?” 

Harley motions to Alex, who is snoring softly now. “Kid feels safe with you. That means you’re a good mother.” 

Lena smiles gently down at Alex, seeing the peaceful look on her face and how she’s softly sucking on her thumb. “God, I hope so. She deserves the world.” 

Harley hums and rests her chin on her hand, propping her elbow on the desk she’s sitting at. “Say, we’ve noticed you adopted again.” 

Lena blushes again. “Who is ‘we’?” she wonders. 

As far as she knows, the faculty is beyond gossip. 

But, then again, Dr. Banner congratulated her on her engagement the other day and the only one she’d told by then was Jess, her new assistant. She never expected Jess to spill the beans. She also didn’t expect shy, secluded Dr. Banner to actually listen to current events, so she guesses anything can happen at that school. 

Lena rubs at the ring on her finger absentmindedly. Kara gave it to her a couple of days after New Years, and her proposal involved Alex and Lucy leading her around the city in a treasure hunt that lasted the whole day. 

It was romantic and so crazy, two of the characteristics she’s come to associate Kara with. 

That the ring Kara gave her was her mama’s own engagement ring, however, was something that blew her mind and made her, against all her beliefs, fall in love with Kara harder.

“Just the missus and I,” Harley answers with a wide grin, seeing Lena play with her ring. “She spotted you walking with them the other day and I told her how Lucy sometimes comes to school with Alex and your woman.” 

So, Pamela and Harley are the only ones in the known so far. “Lucy is a marvelous kid.” 

Harley nods. “Red had her last year. Said she was smart but distant. Kept using her phone in class, but she had good grades, so Red let that slip.” 

Lena nods back. “She is really smart. Not only in academics but also street smart. She takes care of Alex, too, so that’s a plus.” 

“I heard her father is a case, though. I hope you are being careful.” 

Lena rolls her eyes. “you make it sound as if what we do is wrong.” 

“It has the potential to be seen as such, and you know it.” 

Lena deflates slightly at that. “I know. Hopefully, nothing will happen until she turns eighteen. Once that happens, no one can take her away.” 

Harley sighs. “How long until that?” 

Lena smiles wide then. “Couple of weeks. Girl’s birthday is on February 12 th .” 

Harley’s eyebrows raise. “I think you can actually pull that off.” 

Lena scowls. “You thought I wouldn’t be careful?” 

Harley shrugs. “People talk. And I’ve heard both students and teachers talk.” 

“You said only Pamela and you know.” 

“The talks are about Alex and you, mostly, although I’ve heard some gossip over how there’s a senior that’s getting close to the principal…” 

“Let me guess, Miss Freeman’s group is behind that one.” 

“Of course they are.” 

Lena sighs. That group of sophomores will be the death of her. That group of girls tends to focus on gossip more than her studies. They’ve caused several fights to break around the school and no matter how much Lena tries, she cannot stop them from spreading stories around.

“You have to be careful, even once she’s legal,” Harley continues. “You are still in a position of power.” 

Lena nods. “I know. We’ll be careful.” 

Harley smiles. “That’s all you can do.” 

There’s a knock on the door then, followed by it being opened and the subject of their talk speaking. “Hi,” Lucy says. “Nurse Winnie said it was okay to come inside. Kara is waiting outside.” 

Harley waves her in. “We were waiting for Kara and you.” 

Lucy blushes, stepping inside the room and standing next to the couch Lena is cuddling Alex on. 

Lena wonders why Lucy is blushing so suddenly. 

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles to her. “I got in some trouble, so Kara had to fetch me.” 

Lena’s eyes narrow in concern. “Are you okay?” 

Lucy’s blush deepens. “Yes… but I might be grounded for life now.” 

Lena sighs, but refrains from asking questions, that’ll come at home. 

For now, they need to get out of the office and allow Harley to return to her normal life. 

So, Lena turns to her friend and smiles gratefully. “Thank you for seeing her on your day off.” 

Harley waves her off. “Don’t thank me. It’s my job.” 

“Still, it’s never nice to be bothered on your off time.” 

“It was an emergency. I’m used to them. And so is Red. Don’t worry. Just worry about taking care of your kids, alright?” 

Lena nods once more. “Will do.” She turns to Lucy. “Go fetch  _ annen _ . Alex is out cold and I don’t think I’ll be able to carry her.” 

“Yes, mama.” 

Lucy is out of the room before Lena can process how she was called. 

The moment she does, she turns to Harley with a shit-eating grin more suited in a crazed clown than an educator. 

Harley smiles back just as big. 

Lena knows she’ll do anything in her power, anything  _ beyond _ her power, to make sure these kids are loved and cared for properly. 

They are everything to her. 


	63. Chapter 63

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay!
> 
> We've been distracted by life (read: writing and plotting and playing... guys, I finally got a Switch and I'm hooked. It's addictive)
> 
> Enjoy a lil chapter, ya'll.
> 
> We're slowly but surely reaching the ending of this!
> 
> BTW, so you guys can refresher your minds, Alex's bday is in January and Lucy's in February.

“Do you remember our agreement?” 

Lucy nods solemnly at Lena’s question. “Yes. I’m allowed to go out today, but tomorrow I’m back to being grounded.” 

Lena smiles. “Exactly. Open your presents, then, and you’re free to go.” 

Lucy smiles back, a blob of frosting on her cheek falling off as she does so, and she wastes no time in tearing into the three boxes before her. 

Today is a tame day. 

They woke up late, given that it’s Sunday and Lucy’s birthday. The adults let the kids stay up later than usual watching movies in their blanket fort in the living room, and so they had a celebratory lunch with cake and presents included. Kara made Lucy’s favorites again, and Lucy spent the good part of an hour stuffing herself on falafel and baba ganoush. Added to that, she had two slices of chocolate delight and she can honestly say she will need help moving if she’s to meet with their friends that afternoon. 

Kate and Sara requested she meets them to go to the movies and celebrate, so Lucy, torn between sneaking out and telling her friends no, did the responsible thing and asked Lena for advice. 

The advice came in the form of the adults lifting her grounding for the day so she could properly celebrate her birthday with her friends. 

After the whole Sawyer problem, she was grounded for three weeks. It’s been a long time since she was grounded, but she doesn’t remember it sucking so much. 

For starters, Alex and she are expected to help around the house as much as they can, which usually involves Alex picking up her toys and colors, watering the plants and dusting, while Lucy usually ends up with kitchen duty, helping Kara cook and clean after meals and, sometimes, she’d help Lena vacuum. Being grounded, however, means that Lucy is expected to help with laundry, cleaning the bathroom, and washing the cars on weekends. 

Added to that, the early bedtime rule was enforced, and she hates it. She can’t deny she’s feeling a tad more rested, but her ego is suffering. Alex is going to bed later than her! 

It sucks. 

Other things that suck are how she’s banned from watching TV unless Alex is watching it – and honestly, there’s just so much Frozen she can take – and how her phone is taken from her around six in order ‘to have her unwind before bed’. She’s sent to bed at nine, why does she need three hours to unwind? 

The only good thing about her grounding is how she’s been reading more than ever before, and she finds that she’s loving it up a storm, having the time to relax with her kindle and just be. 

That’s something she’s going to try and keep doing after everything is said and done. 

But, she’ll give credit where credit is due. If this is how being grounded in this home is, this punishment is effective. She’s not looking forward to breaking the rules again. 

Especially after having the most mortifying conversation of her life. 

Not even Lois trying – and failing – to give her the birds and bees talk when she was fifteen had managed to turn her as beet-red as talking with Kara and Lena about punishments had. 

She now knows what she’s to expect when she breaks a rule and she was given the chance to talk with them about anything that could’ve made her uncomfortable beyond what the punishment is meant to be. 

She’s not looking forward to testing the other punishments that are on the table, either. 

“No fucking way…” 

“Language!” Alex chirps around a mouthful of cake. 

Lucy doesn’t waste the energy on glaring at her, she just gapes at the contents of the first box. 

Kara hugs her shoulders. “I guess you like?” She can hear the smug smile in her tone, but she cannot look away from her present look at her. 

Lucy’s eyes slowly, reluctantly, turn from the tiny booklet nestled in a bed of blue and yellow paper to stare at her white as a ghost. “How…? How could you…? I…” 

Alex giggles at Lucy and that seems to break her out of her stupor. 

“I can’t take this,” she says with resolution. “I can’t let you spend that much money. Return it,” she says, pushing the box onto Kara’s hands. 

Kara pushes back gently. “Lucy, don’t be like that. It’s Lillian’s gift to you and you know she likes the extravagance. Remember Alex’s gift.” 

Lucy’s eyes widen. “This is not like Alex’s jungle gym! These tickets cost a fortune!” 

Lucy really can’t believe Kara just equated her gift to Alex’s so easily. Alex got a shit ton of toys on her birthday from both their moms, along with the newest GoPro in the market, and Lillian sent a team to install a giant jungle gym for Alex in their backyard. All of that cannot compare to season tickets for the NC Galaxy. 

Tickets that, the one time she looked, cost a small fortune. 

And there are two other boxes in there too! 

Lena comes and hugs her from behind, leaving a kiss on the side of her head. “Hey, remember who my mama is? Even if she’d paid for those, I’m sure mama’s wallet isn’t smarting.” 

Kara rubs her hand up and down her arm. “Besides, it’s not every day you turn eighteen.” 

Lucy blinks back sudden tears. “But it’s too much.” 

Lena tickles her side, effectively making her giggle and forget her tears. “You not knowing how to drive is the only reason you’re not holding car keys right now.” 

Lucy chokes on thin air, but it’s Alex the one to question that. “Really?” she asks, just as shocked. 

Kara snorts. “ _ Maybe. _ ” She points to Lena. “This one wanted to give you a car and then teach you how to drive, but that was a little too much.” 

“And it isn’t a little too much to give me season tickets for the best team in the world?” Lucy asks incredulously. 

Lena kisses her head again. “Those are mostly for show. What mama really did, was secure us all a spot on the platinum area. It’s under your name, though.” 

Lucy swallows hard. “That’s worse!” 

Kara smiles softly. “Hey, calm down. We know it’s a big deal, but, you like soccer and you like The Galaxy, which is indeed the best team, and Lillian wanted to be nice so she tried to give you something nice.” 

“Nice is a necklace, maybe a commemorative ring… not… this!” 

Kara and Lena share a look. “Lucy,” Lena says gently as she comes and kneels by Lucy’s chair in order to see her better. “If it bothers you that much, we can tell mama to give them back. But, believe me, it was no hardship. Mama knows people in the sports world, and she knows The Galaxy’s owner. It was a favor, sweetheart.” 

Lucy looks down at her, disbelieving. “That does not make it better,” she announces. 

Lena smiles tenderly. “Why, love? Explain it to me?” 

Lucy looks away. “… why did she get me this?” she asks in a small voice. 

Lena rubs soothing circles on her knee. “You know I speak with her at least every other day. She asked for ideas, and the only thing I could come up with was your soccer team. She didn’t send us Christmas gifts and said she’d compensate on our birthdays. So, this is your Christmas and your birthday gift.” 

“… but why me?” 

“I don’t follow, love.” 

Lucy gulps and looks back at Lena, her lip trembling and her eyes watery. “Why me? I get she gave Ally things… but why me? ‘M no one to her.” 

Lena wastes no time in standing and hugging the kid to her. “Oh, Lucy,” she sighs. “Mama loves you as much as she loves Alex and Leah.” 

Lucy’s arms come around Lena, hugging her tightly. “Why? S-She doesn’t know me.” 

Lena rubs her hand up and down the softly crying girl’s back. “You made a great impression on her when she met you. And, I don’t keep secrets from her. At all. She loves you, not because she’s spent time with you, but because she knows you. She knows you are a devious little thing, that you are fiercely protective of Alex, and that I love you. She knows you are an amazing girl, full of potential. She knows you have a massive heart and that you are a reliable, witty, and overall a great kid.” 

“Lucy,” Kara calls to her softly, making Lucy turn her face and press her cheek to Lena’s stomach, tears streaming down her cheeks and staining Lena’s shirt. “You don’t have to prove anything to be loved. You are loved in this family, and that includes Lillian.” 

Lucy sniffs. 

Kara smiles sadly at that. “I know it’ll take time, but we’ll get there, okay?” 

“W-Where?” 

“To the point you believe me.” 

Lucy laughs wetly. “O-Okay.” She rubs at her eyes. “I trust you both.” 

Lena smiles wide. “Then trust us to know when to reign mama in, okay?” 

“…’Kay.” 

“Now, yes to the tickets? We can all attend the first game together. Make it part of your birthday celebration.” 

Lucy nods. “I’d like that.” She pauses for a second. “Do we really have seats for all of us?” 

Lena nods back. “Yes. We have to call in advance, but if we so wish, the four of us can attend all home games. Now, you, on the other hand, can use your pass without any stipulation. You can even go to away games, although I’d rather you wait until you’re a little older for that.” 

Lucy smiles. “Don’t worry, ma, I’m not planning on going to those on my own yet.” 

Lena smiles back. “Thank you.” 

“Now that you stopped being dumb, open my present!” Alex demands. 

Lucy can’t help it, she laughs. 

XxXxX 

“Took you long enough!” 

Lucy rolls her eyes but jogs to Sara and Kate with a smile on her face. 

She hasn’t really hung out with them lately, grounding notwithstanding, so it feels good seeing them and she’s looking forward to whatever crazy they have planned for after the movie. She had until ten to get back and she wants to make the most of her time. 

“Hey, losers.” 

Sara hugs her tight. “Congrats on finally being an adult.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Too bad you don’t look like one,” Kate jests, earning a punch to the arm from Lucy. 

“Asshole.” 

“Ooooh,” Sara draws the attention back to her. “Nice necklace.” 

Lucy grins widely and presents the pendant to them. “Thanks, Alex gave it to me.” 

“It's cute,” Kate compliments. “I didn’t know you liked cats.” 

Lucy shrugs. “That’s my nickname,” she says, looking down at the titanium pendant of a kitten. Its eyes are two small amethyst stones, her birthstone, and when she saw it after opening the box, Lucy fell in love with it immediately. 

She’s not planning on taking the necklace off, ever, especially with the inscription that runs along its tiny tail, too small to be noticed at first glance. 

“Oh, my god, not again!” Kate exclaims, shaking her head. 

Lucy startles at that. “What?” 

Kate shakes her head and Sara snorts. 

“No, really, what?” 

Kate sends her a mild glare. “Dude, we do not want to hear about your sexcapades again. We don’t want to know Alex calls you kitty or pussy or pet in the bedroom. Please. I won’t be able to look her in the face if you start talking about that.” 

“The fuck?” Lucy chokes on thin air for the second time that day, this time due to a combination of repulsion and mortification. 

“You used to share all the dirty details of your time with Siobhan. Please, we have to spend time with Alex. We don’t want to know how you guys do the dirty.” 

Lucy opens her mouth to berate Kate for how wrong she was when a thought crosses her mind. 

If these two think they are dating, then it’s highly probable the whole school does too. 

Lucy learned why Alex had a panic attack and that was because dumb Sawyer touched her in a way she didn’t like. Lucy might have an insight into the reason behind that, but the fact remains that it was all due to Sawyer thinking Alex was free for the taking. 

Sawyer didn’t mean to hurt Alex, Lucy knows that. But, Lucy also knows that Sawyer is not the only one interested in Alex. 

Lucy is not dumb. Alex is beautiful, both inside and out, but she’s also a little naïve and a little too trusting, especially if she’s deep into her headspace. There’s a horde of boys and girls that are always eyeing her and the fact she’s the principal’s favorite and more often than not accompanied by Lucy is the only thing that has prevented people from approaching her. 

Lucy is Alex’s big sister and she’ll protect her from anything and anyone. 

If pretending to date Alex is the way to go… 

“Fine,” she sighs mock exasperated. “I won’t tell you how good she really is.” 

… then, as of now, she’s publicly dating one Alexandra Danvers. 

“Thank you,” Kate answers her mock seriously. 

“She didn’t come,” Sara says, confused. “Why?” 

Lucy’s eyebrows raise. “You told me not to bring her?” 

Leaving Alex behind proved to be a little harder than what she anticipated, but Kate and Sara promised horror movies and they told her not to bring her sister around. Why is Sara surprised she didn’t? 

“We thought you’d bring her anyway.” 

Lucy reaches for her phone. “I can call her if you want…?” 

“No!” Kate says quickly. “No need. What we have planned requires discretion.” 

Lucy’s eyebrow raises again. “You mean going to watch  _ Bornless ones, _ right.” 

Kate smirks and Sara interlaces their arms together. “Nope,” Sara says happily. “We planned something better.” 

XxXxX 

Lucy massages her temples. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” she moans in despair. 

“What was that?” Kate yells over the pounding of the bass. 

“What the fuck were you thinking?!” Lucy yells back. 

“Come on! This was a great idea!” 

“A great idea that’ll have my ass roasted,” Lucy mutters under her breath. 

“What?!” 

“I’m going home!” Lucy yells. “I don’t want any part in this!” 

“Don’t be a spoilsport!” Iris came, beer and Barry in hand. “We started planning this since New Year!” 

Lucy glares. “You are all stupid and crazy!” 

“What’s wrong? You used to like this kind of adventure!” 

Lucy stares incredulously at Sara. Sure, she once was a risk junky, but one thing is trying to have an adrenaline rush, but it’s a completely different thing trying to sign one’s death warrant. 

“This is not an adventure! This is suicide!” 

Barry rolls his eyes. Honestly, Lucy is not even sure how those two are here. They are supposed to be shagging like bunnies, like always. “Chill out, Lucy! We have permission from the administration!” 

Lucy stares at him. He is either full of shit – she bets he is –, or Lena owes her for the heart attack she’s having. 

Because there’s no fucking way Lena permitted her friends to throw a party in the school’s gym. 

There’s no way Lena told them it was okay to transform the place into a dance floor and hook up the PA system to blast music. 

There is no way she gave them permission to host what looks like the entire senior class. 

There’s no way Lena let them bring alcohol and weed into school grounds. 

“I’m calling Alex to make sure!” she declares and swipes her phone from her back pocket. 

Kate is instantly grabbing on her wrist, her eyes wide and panicky. “What the hell?!” 

“She’s with miss Luthor right now!” Lucy explains. 

In truth, she’s calling Lena straight away, but she doesn’t want anyone knowing that she’s now living with them. She doesn’t want to fend off all the questions that’ll bring her but, more importantly, she doesn’t want people to get the wrong impression. 

She might be eighteen now, but she knows Lena being her principal puts the older brunette in a delicate situation. One juicy gossip, one misunderstanding, and she could be fired, and Lucy wouldn’t ever forgive herself for it. 

Alex's case is different. Her caregiver is dating the principal and that’s not something authorities can really look into. Hence why she told them all she was contacting her fake-girlfriend. 

“I know!” Kate yells. “That’s why I stopped you! Lena doesn’t know!” 

Lucy looks at them with wide eyes. “I’m outta here!” 

Kate holds steady to her. “Don’t be a pussy! We are cleaning up before school tomorrow! What’s the issue?! It’s your birthday! Enjoy!” 

Lucy forcefully removes her wrist from her. “You lot are insane! There’s no way you can clean this up before Lena sees it! There’s no way you’ll get rid of the smell!” 

Kate rolls her eyes. “We never get caught! We are not gonna get caught today!” 

Lucy shakes her head. She doesn’t want to party and she doesn’t want to party in a place they have no reason to party in. 

She also doesn’t want to disappoint her moms and this is a sure way to make that happen. 

She can’t believe she used to hang out with them. 

They are so stupid. 

At least with Max and Siobhan, getting caught was rare and everything was planned meticulously. 

These guys have no idea how to plan for shit. 

“It’s your party!” Sara yells as Lucy turns to leave. 

“It’s not my party! This is your party and you used me as an excuse to throw it!” Lucy yells back as she exits the auditorium and its stupid occupants. 

If she had known this was how they wanted to celebrate, she’d have stayed home with her family. 

Urgh. Her moms are surely gonna smell the weed smoke on her clothes now. 

She’s in deep shit. 

She should just snitch about the party and be done with it. 

… But, she doesn’t want to sell them out. 

Fuck. 

This whole thing sucks. 

She rubs at her face once she’s out of the school and far away enough from it to no longer hear the bass. 

What to do? 

She rubs harder at her face, the sun catching on her new watch. 

She looks at it for a moment. 

Just like the necklace, it has an inscription on its back. 

Her moms gave it to her today, along with a new kindle to update her old, beaten one. 

But, unlike the necklace, she feels that this inscription is wrong. 

While the cat’s tail reads ‘sister of my soul’, the clock has two simple words: ‘Perfect Timing’. 

When asked about the inscription,  _ anne _ just said that Lucy arrived at their lives at the right time for all of them, and that they couldn’t be more grateful about it all. 

When they told her that, Lucy almost cried again, almost. 

Her life these last couple of months have felt like a fairytale, and if it’s a dream, she doesn’t want to wake up at all. 

She gets to have hugs. 

She gets to goof around. 

She gets to mess things up. 

She gets to relax. 

She gets to pay for her mistakes. 

She gets to be herself. 

She gets to be loved. 

She gets to just  _ be. _

Lucy sniffs, not realizing she started crying again. 

She has a family now. 

Damn. She has a family now. 

She laughs wetly. 

She knew she had found a family… but right now… right now, eyeing the watch and clutching at the little cat, she thinks it’s finally dawned on her. 

She has a family. 

She turns towards home and runs. 

Friends be damned, she has a family to get to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, honestly, we've been busy planning other plots and stories that will see the light some day. All thanks to my handsome beta that likes to feed me with ideas and with whom I spend so much time plotting with my household hear my phone chime and know it's him.
> 
> So, shout out to awesomesauce2366 and that bright star that he calls brain.
> 
> You guys interested in seeing anything in particular? Let us know! We always fishing for ideas :)


	64. Chapter 64

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Beta needed! Applications open!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my beautiful muffins! Happy Holidays for those who celebrate and happy end of the year for those who doesn't!!!
> 
> People, we love you and it's been amazing being able to be with you guys during these tiring times :*
> 
> More on the beta thingy on the end notes.

Lena rubs at her temple. 

“We really thought you knew…? It’s not like we’ve been hiding it.” 

Lena glares at Lucy and the kid curls into herself a little. 

Lena’s glare tampers off at that and she sighs. 

“Girls,” Lena says in an exhale. “It never occurred to me you were planning this.” She looks at one, then the other “Did you plan this together?” 

Alex and Lucy shake their heads. 

“Nope,” Alex says. “We kinda realized it last month and well, if we noticed, surely you guys did too?” 

Lena rubs her temple with much more force. 

Today was a rare older Alex day and thus Lena decided to bite the bullet and ask a question that’s been plaguing her mind for a while now. Kara’s out picking up a delivery from her mailbox and so Lena, thinking this conversation was going to go smoother, decided to have the girls sit with her and a cup of tea and just ask. 

And damn, she wishes she’d waited for Kara to come back home before opening her mouth. 

“Why?” she asks. Again. 

Lucy shrugs. “I was going to leave home. I was planning on running away,” she explains once more. “Running away and making money to survive kinda don’t mix with college.” 

Lena nods. That answer seems plausible. If Lucy’s circumstances were the same as before, she wouldn’t say the kid didn’t think it through. Now, though, with Lena and Kara supporting her, Lucy could attend any college she wanted to. But, “you are still not applying?” she asks again. 

“No,” Lucy answers honestly. 

“Why? I mean. I understand why you weren’t going to. But now you have the chance. Why not do it?” 

Lucy shrugs but keeps quiet. 

This is the second time Lena asks Lucy this question and it’s the second time she receives no answer. 

Lena sighs and turns to Alex. “And you?” 

“I don’t want to go to college,” Alex says easily. 

That… that doesn’t make any sense to Lena. 

Lena who comes from a family of geniuses. 

Lena who never thought it was a possibility  _ not going  _ to college. 

Lena who graduated from an Ivy League school. 

Lena who graduated way too early and got her masters by the time Kara aged out of the system. 

Lena who, well, who honestly doesn’t understand. 

“Why?” 

Alex shrugs again. “I don’t want to.” 

Lena rubs at her face then. “I understand Lucy’s scenario, babygirl… but I really don’t think not wanting to go is an acceptable excuse.” 

Alex bristles a little at that. “ _ Annem _ didn’t go,” she defends herself. 

Lena looks at Alex with a sad smile. “Not because she didn’t want to, Alex, you know that.” 

The kid deflates at that. 

Kara’s situation was totally different from Alex’s and the girl using Kara as an excuse will not work. 

Kara aged out of the system and worked her ass off to be able to provide a safe home for Alex. 

Kara aged out of the system with the clothes on her back and the wit on her tongue. 

Kara aged out of the system and trained for years to get her certification to be a hairdresser between barista jobs and evictions. 

Kara’s situation will never compare to Alex’s who, thanks to Kara’s hard work, can safely go to college. 

“Hey.” Speak of the devil and she’ll appear. “Why are you all gloomy? Did someone eat the last cookie?” 

Kara places the boxes she’s carrying on the floor and comes to deliver kisses around. She pecks Alex’s forehead and Lucy’s temple and takes a minute to lazily kiss Lena hello. 

“Seriously,” she says, sitting down and stealing Lena’s mug. “Who died?” 

Lena motions to the girls with an open palm. “Your daughters and I were discussing their plans for the future,” she announces. 

Kara’s eyebrow raises at that. The only time Lena refers to either of them as only  _ Kara’s _ is at dawn when Lena is too sleepy to get up to face the energizer bunny that’s Alex. “Oh?” She peeks at the girls who look a little too guilty. “Elaborate?” 

Lena sighs. Maybe she’s exaggerating. Maybe not. Hopefully, Kara will help her see if she’s blowing things up of proportion. “Ask them about their college applications,” she suggests softly. 

Kara’s eyes shine bright and Lena feels guilty for putting such hope in them like that. 

Oh, she just fucked up. 

“You got a reply already?” Kara asks happily, looking at the kids eagerly. 

Alex and Lucy share a look. 

“ _ Anne…” _ Alex starts gently. 

“… we didn’t apply for college,” Lucy ends with a small grimace. 

Kara’s eyebrows shoot up at that. “What? Why not?” 

“We didn’t plan on going…?” Alex says in that same questioning voice she once used when she used to do stuff she knew would get her in trouble. 

That perplexes Kara. “Why ever not?” 

Alex and Lucy share another look. They turn to Kara as one and shrug. 

“This one,” Lena says pointing to Lucy, “thought she would be running away and thus no college for her. And this one,” she points to Alex, “doesn’t want to go.” 

Kara scratches at her forehead. “I mean… I guess that’s valid…?” she says, not too convinced. 

Lena sighs yet again. “Please tell me you are not okay with them skipping college.” 

“… they are able to make their own choices?” 

“Kara.” 

Kara sighs. She looks at the girls with a pained smile. “I’m not happy with that, no. But they made the choice, Lena. We have to respect that.” 

“The hell we have.” 

“Lena…” 

Lena takes a deep breath. She nods. It’s not often she feels so out of sorts. Not even trying to argue the benefits of Alex going to therapy made her feel so unbalanced. “I can’t accept that,” she announces, looking at the girls and Kara in turn. “I’m sorry, but I can’t. There’s not one good reason they shouldn’t be attending.” 

Lucy meekly raises a hand, asking for permission to speak. 

Lena shots her a pained smile. “You don’t have to do that, sweetie.” 

Lucy shrugs. “Felt appropriated. Either way, there’s a good reason. Deadlines are over.” 

Lena’s smile turns to a smirk. “And I’m a Luthor. I can change that for you both.” 

Kara reaches out and squeezes Lena’s bicep. “Lena, no. That’s not the way of doing stuff.” 

Lena sighs. “Guys, you need to accept it. I’m a Luthor. I can make things happen if we so want to.” 

“But we don’t,” Alex says plainly. 

“Why ever not? Going to college is great. Not only you’ll learn something you like, you’ll make friends that’ll last a lifetime.” 

“I’ve got Lucy.” 

“Lucy is your sister, Alex,” Lena says gently. “That’s different.” 

“You don’t have friends, mama,” Alex says stubbornly, going so far as to cross her arms. “Your point is moot.” 

Lena shakes her head. “Just because I moved across the country and my friends stayed in Metropolis doesn’t mean I don’t have friends, Alex. I do, and I met them all at college.” 

Alex looks at Kara then. “ _ Anne  _ didn’t meet hers at college, though.” 

Kara winces. How do you explain to the kid the intricacies of her relationships? It’s not like she can tell Alex she met Nia at a strip club, Winn at the back of a bookstore when he was beaten blue _after_ her shift at that strip club, and Sam at a clinic when she had to get rid of that little problem? “I met James in high school, love, and then most of my friends I met through him,” she settles on saying. 

“See? No college.” 

“Lois met Clark at college,” Lucy pipes in, earning a glare from Alex. 

“Luce,” Lena switches targets, knowing Alex is too stubborn to change her mind at the moment. “Do  _ you _ want to go to college?” 

Lucy looks down, brows furrowed. “Yes? No?” She sighs. “I kinda want to, yeah, but I also don’t know how.” 

Alex not so gently kicks Lucy in the shin. 

“Hey!” 

“Alexandra,” Kara commands sternly. “Come here.” 

Alex glares hotly but does as told. She rises and goes to stand next to Kara, arms still crossed and fuming. 

Kara swats her swiftly in the butt. “We do not hit in anger, remember?” 

Alex just huffs. 

Kara sighs. She looks to Lena for a second before rising too and taking Alex by the bicep. “Come then, corner time will cool you down.” 

It’s a statement to how angry Alex is that she doesn’t protest as she’s led upstairs. 

Lena smiles sadly. She too rises and kneels by Lucy. She rubs at the spot Alex kicked. “Hurts too much?” 

Lucy shakes her head. “It smarted, but she’s not wearing shoes. I think it hurt her more than me.” 

Lena still rubs at her shin. “So, college?” 

Lucy shrugs. “It sounds like fun. But I’ve no money and I really don’t want to sell my soul in order to pay for it. ‘Sides, I don’t know what I want to study. I never thought about it.” 

Lena rises and stands Lucy up before sitting in her chair and putting the girl in her lap. “What if money was not an issue?” 

Lucy scrunches up her nose. “I can’t have you pay for it.” 

“Why not?” 

Lucy looks down and keeps quiet. 

“We’re still working on it, uh?” Lena asks sadly. 

Lucy nods miserably. 

This is something that comes up sometimes. Sometimes, something will happen to make Lucy question her place in their family and her insecurities will start acting up too, making her second guess what Kara and Lena give to her freely. Lucy is a centered girl, in touch with her emotions and thoughts, so putting words into what she feels is not hard for her. Saying those words out loud, though, sometimes is hard. 

But, they’ve learned that talking is the way to go with Lucy. 

“Talk to me.” 

“… College is expensive.” 

“Yes, it is.” 

“… But you have money…” 

“That we do.” 

“… Is this a Luthor thing?” Lucy asks meekly. 

Lena hums. “Sorta. I guess it is. I haven’t talked to Kara, so for argumentative purposes, I’ll just go ahead and say yes.” 

Lucy nods. “But if it isn’t a Luthor thing?” 

Lena pecks Lucy’s forehead. “Kara isn’t intimidated by my money, love. She lets me pay for things plenty and you know it. I doubt she’ll be upset over me paying for your schooling.” 

Lucy nods again. “It still feels wrong using your money to go to college.” 

Lena rests her head on top of Lucy’s. She hums. “You still up for working with Mac soon, right?” 

Lucy nods yet again. “Yeah, he got some contracts for me. But those will be done by next month.” 

After they went horse riding, a career opportunity was presented to Lucy that she never thought about. She got offered a photo shoot with the horses and after that was done and she liked it, Kara put her in contact with Mac, her own manager, so Lucy could start doing small modeling gigs. So far Lucy has had one professional shooting done to create a small portfolio and hopefully the girl won’t be hurting for opportunities in the advertisement world. 

“So, you can work part-time doing that  _ and _ going to college, no?” 

Lucy frowns. “But it won’t be enough to pay for everything.” 

“And that’s the beauty of having parents, Lucy. We pay for some, you pay for some. If you stay home and go to NC University, that’ll lower costs too.” 

Lucy snorts at that. “You thought of everything already?” 

Lena smirks. “Not really. I’m making plans as I go. I’m sure we can think of something if you don’t want to go to NCU, though.” 

“What would I study?” 

“Whatever you want. You could make Winnie happy and go to nursing school.” 

Lucy scrunches up her nose. “No thanks.” 

Lena chuckles. “No nursing school then.” 

Lucy takes the opportunity to fiddle with the collar Lena is wearing. “I don’t know what I want… can’t I have more time?” she asks. 

“Time?” 

“As Lexie says, I’m too young to decide. Can’t we, like, take a year and see what happens? These past months feel like a lifetime and I really don’t feel ready to make that decision.” 

Lena nods. “That seems sensible. It’s a good plan. I like it. I guess you’ll work that year, or do you want to travel?” 

Lucy cuddles close to Lena. “Can I stay here?” she asks in a tiny voice. 

Lena smiles, kissing the top of her head. “Of course, love. This is your home.” 

XxXxX 

“Do you feel calmer now?” 

Alex hiccups but nods. 

Kara takes the girl’s hand and pulls her from her corner gently. “Good. Then let's talk.” 

Alex sniffs heavily at that, rubbing at her butt. 

She had to spend more than her usual five minutes in the corner after Kara warmed up her butt for being insolent, but for the love of all that’s good, she couldn’t calm down and she couldn’t find the source of her anger as quickly as she’s grown used to. 

Therapy has helped her a lot in identifying her feelings and thoughts and putting them in order. Dr. Q has helped her find out deep into herself what bothers her and what makes her happy and to acknowledge it. It’s hard, so hard, especially when she gets over-emotional and stops thinking, but some downtime always calms her down enough to process. 

Before, when Kara sent her to the corner when she was having a meltdown, she had a hard time figuring out the problem. She’d spend the whole time fretting and overthinking and just assuming things that not necessarily were true. She’d spend the time berating herself and calling herself dumb for a long time until her panicked mind exhausted itself and allowed her to think. 

Now, now when she’s sent to the corner, she allows herself to  _ feel, _ and then, once she knows what she is feeling, she can work on  _ why _ she feels it. 

It’s complicated, it’s hard most of the time, but it leaves her more satisfied and less drained. 

It also allows her to know why she got so angry so fast. 

“I d-don’t want to leave,” Alex announces, her voice rough from her crying. 

Kara sits on Alex’s bed and pulls the kid to stand between her legs. “You don’t want to go to college?” 

Alex shakes her head. “No. I don’t care ‘bout that. I-I don’t want to leave.  _ Anne, _ I want to  _ stay.” _

Kara furrows her eyebrows. “You want to stay?” It takes a second, just an instant really, before she gets it. Her eyebrows then reach her hairline before she’s pulling Alex tight to her chest. “Oh, baby…” 

Alex clings to her, sniffling, crying again. “P-Please don’t make me leave…” 

Kara kisses Alex’s cheek. In their position, the girl is taller than her, but that doesn’t deter her from trying to console her as she always does. “Baby, I’ll never make you leave.” 

Alex sobs out. “M-Mama…” 

“Mama, just like me, didn’t think,  _ minnoş _ . We never thought this was going through your mind.” 

“P-Please, no go.” 

Kara gently tugs Alex so they can cuddle on the bed. She guides Alex’s head to her chest, where she knows Alex likes listening to her heart and feeling her warmth. “Baby, you going to college doesn’t mean you have to leave. You going means meeting new people, learning new stuff.” 

“N-No make me.” 

Kara presses a kiss to the top of her head. “Alex, we wanting you to attend college doesn’t mean we want you to go. It just means we want you to try new things, to live a fulfilled life.” 

“M-Ma life here. P-Please.” 

“You don’t have to leave home to attend, love,” Kara reassures her. “I know you can live at home and go to college too.” 

Alex peeks up at that. “R-Really?” 

“Yeah. I planned to do that before realizing I couldn’t physically work and study. It was either having a roof or attending class.” 

Alex frowns at that, sniffling. She rubs at her eyes. “’S not fair,” she complains. 

“What’s not fair,  _ minnoş _ ?” 

“You wanted to go but couldn’t.” 

Kara hums. “It’s okay. I’m pretty happy with my life now.” She kisses between the kid’s eyes. “But you have the chance now, you should take it.” 

Alex shakes her head. “ _ Hayır.” _

Kara smiles sadly. “Fine… Lucy’s right either way. It’s too late to try and enroll for the fall term.” 

Alex nods and cuddles close to Kara. “’M sorry.” 

“What for, love?” 

“I was bad.” 

Kara presses another kiss to the girl’s head. “Not bad, baby. You let your anger rule you. Thank you for apologizing, though. You owe Lucy an apology too.” 

“Me know.” 

Still, Alex makes no move to stand up and find her sister. Kara lets her, knowing cuddles always are needed after such an emotional episode. 

“ _ Anne _ ?” Alex murmurs after a long while, alerting her that the kid had not fallen asleep as she thought. 

“Yeah?” 

Alex separates them just enough to see her face to face. She sniffs, the last of her crying almost non-existent now. “Why don’t you study now?” she ventures. 

Kara blinks, confused. “What do you mean?” 

“Why don’t you study now? You can afford it. If not, I’m sure mama could help?” 

Kara hums, thinking. “I don’t know, baby. I never thought of it.” 

Alex pats her cheek. “Think now.” 

Kara snorts. “Bossy little thing.” 

“I take after mama!” 

Kara just laughs. 

XxXxX 

“Verdict?” 

“We let them take a gap year. Come November we revisit and have them take acceptance exams.” 

Kara nods. “Lucy wants to work in the meantime, right?” 

“Yeah. She asked if she could stay here while she does it, though,” Lena says in a sigh. 

Kara reaches across the bed and smiles thinly. “We’re still working on it.” 

Lena nods. “I know.” 

“I think a gap year will help Alex. It’ll help her center herself and build enough confidence to leave the nest, so to speak.” 

“She’s continuing her sessions with Harley.” 

Kara snorts. “I know, babe. I can see how good they’ve been to her. If she wants to, she’ll continue.” 

“She does.” 

Kara hums. “Then she’ll continue.” She turns to stare at the ceiling. “She said something…” 

Lena slides closer to Kara, resting her cheek on Kara’s shoulder and throwing an arm a leg over her. “What did she say?” 

“She said I should go to college,” Kara says, still trying to wrap her mind around it. 

Lena makes a surprised sound. “That’s a good idea… if that’s what you want.” 

Kara sighs. “I don’t know. I never thought about it.” 

Lena leans up and presses a kiss to the corner of Kara’s mouth. “We agreed they are taking a gap year. Alex will not be working, you and I both know that, and she’ll need someone to watch her once school is over. Maybe you could try college in the meantime?” 

Kara hums. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to take care of Alex, go to college, and keep the channels running.” 

Lena dances her fingers along Kara’s collarbone. “… maybe…” 

Kara turns slightly, watching her curiously. “Maybe?” 

Lena sighs. “I love you. I love what you’ve built from scratch. You’re an amazing woman and I’m awed when I stop and think exactly what you went through to give Alex this life.” 

“I’m sensing a but in there.” 

Lena looks deep into her eyes. This is something that’s been in her mind for a while now, but, Kara is Kara and the hard talks are better avoided until the right moment. 

Hopefully, this is the right moment. 

“But I won’t lie and say you are happy with what you are doing. I know you enjoy the videos, I know you love your fans… but I also know you get this glint in your eye when you are cooking for us, when you are chasing after Alex, when you are making the girls help around… I believe you’re happier when you are with us. When you don’t have to plan what to create for that new video, when you don’t have to put on a smiling face for the vlogs. I think, I might be wrong, that you are happier when you are not doing your videos, and maybe it’s time to take a step back and consider another way of life.” 

Kara sighs deeply and looks away. 

“We are getting married,” Lena says gently. “We are building a home for our amazing family… let me be our support. Let me be the one that brings us the bacon while you get to cook it for us. Let me worry over the finances while you worry over the girls being nurtured.” 

Kara chokes on a sob. 

“Love… I’m not trying to say what you do isn’t important, isn’t a job. I know how hard you worked for it. I  _ know.  _ Please don’t think I want this to make you feel less. I only want you to be happy. Please.” 

Kara turns then, diving to Lena’s chest, and she sobs. She clutches to Lena as if her life depends on her and she shudders. 

“Oh, Kara. My love,” Lena sighs. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so, sorry. Forget what I said, yes? Nothing has to change.” 

Kara shakes her head. “Don’t a-apologize,” she says around a sob. 

Some of the tension leave Lena’s body, Kara doesn’t sound distressed, nor angry or sad, she sounds… relieved. 

Lena holds her tenderly, rubbing circles on her back. “I love you,” she whispers. 

Kara sniffs. “Love you too. I’m sorry.” 

“Take your time, dear. I understand.” 

Kara shakes her head again. How could Lena understand? 

Kara always dreamed of a house with a white fence and a family of her own. She dreamed of her wedding and of children and of a partner who would let her be herself. She dreamed of a partner who would see how she enjoys being at home, how she loves cooking, and making sure her family is happy. 

She knows, she knows since she was little and Kori teased her and made her feel dumb, how those dreams are not what she should want. 

She knows, she knows that she’s supposed to be an independent woman, that she’s supposed to have a career and have a lifetime goal to be successful. She knows. 

Kori used to dream of being a lawyer like their  _ annemiz _ and build a career like her and be successful like her… but Kara always wanted to be like their  _ babamız, _ staying at home and taking care of them. 

How can Kara convey to Lena all this? 

How can Kara tell her Lena is offering her dreams to come true? 

“I love you,” Kara mumbles. “I love you so much.” 

Lena hugs her tighter and kisses the top of her head. “I love you too, so much.” 

Kara takes a shuddering breath. She detaches from her fiancée and blinks back the last of her tears. 

It’ll be a long night, but Kara believes she can try to explain just how amazing Lena is and how grateful she is to have met her. 

She’s definitely going to try. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see from the summary, we are looking for a beta. We need someone that would 1) be up for me to bother them several times and at odds time, and 2) be able to help us make sense of what I write. As I've told awesomesauce before, I literally vomit the words and then we hafta go around to make them make sense.
> 
> Now, this doesn't mean awesomesauce is gone, no, but it'll def speed up our posting times, so that's one incentive.
> 
> Of course, the mayor incentive would be reading what's gonna happen before the rest of ao3.
> 
> Another would be, if you guys wanna help out beyond SOL, to be able to read all the other stuff we've been working on, from massive one-shots to little nonsense one-shots to fully developed stories.
> 
> So, help, please?

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks lots to awesomesauce2366, who is helping me edit this story and helps with the brainstorming!!!!
> 
> You're da best :)


End file.
